Love After War
by ViciousVixen178
Summary: Life after war is not a track Harry wanted to travel; however his journey continues as he is persuaded to return for the final year of his education. With life spinning out of control and a freak accident pushing him right into the arms of the only man that can help, Harry's life takes on a new twist surrounded by new housemates, friends and more. [Self Harm, PTSD, Slash]
1. Chapter 1

_**.**_

 _ **Love after war [or pain].**_

 _ **A new story for me after nearly two years of writing hiatus. Admittedly this is a pretty dark story for me, not the usual fluffy marshmallow slash I generally dabble with.**_

 _ **It comes about after heart break and self harm caused by a toxic relationship.**_

 _ **So, here are my warnings to you. If you do not like gay hero's then this is not a story for you. If you're looking for a post-war hero that miraculously lives life happily ever after, then again, this is not a story for you.**_

 _ **I do not claim to have scientific knowledge of PTSD, nor correct therapies for such conditions. I do, however, have experience in large scale natural disasters resulting in death and personal self harm. My recoveries are my own, and I have tried to keep them as generic as possible.**_

 _ **Having blabbed my way through introductions, I hope those of you who have dared to continue enjoy the first chapter and as always, let me know your thoughts in the review box down the bottom.**_

 _ **.**_

The castle stood proudly shroud in darkness as the three Gryffindor's stood at the drop off to hop into a carriage.

"It feels different, don't you think?" Hermione mused as she stood between her two best friends.

 _Different_ , Harry couldn't disagree with that, even with the memories that started to bubble towards the surface of his conscience. The castle certainly didn't look any different, you could have been fooled that half of it hadn't been destroyed the night when Voldemort was finally defeated as it stood in front of them. It was almost mocking in a sense, it looked unaffected and pristine whilst Harry felt that the war had taken its toll in mind and body. He certainly didn't feel like a spritely teenager anymore and looking at his two friends they too looked aged beyond their actual years.

When a carriage arrived, the three of them piled in, Ron and Hermione with their hands locked in a loving embrace as they sat next together. Harry didn't mind, in fact he was happy for them that in the adversary of war they were able to find love and heal together. The only family they had now was each other and what was left of the Weasley clan; that was where the three of them lived over the final part of the 'school year' and summer. Seeing as the teaching year had been cut short, all students who would have been graduating were invited back to finish up their education by the new Headmistress, McGonagall.

Harry had been the most hesitant, closely followed by Ron but that didn't mean that Hermione was brimming with excitement to be back either. A lot had happened the previous year that they all wanted to bury, including Ginny who had elected not to return with the others which had been mostly due to Molly trying to protect her. Harry appeared to have struggled the most adjusting however; he still had frequent nightmares and reacted badly to loud noises.

Stepping into the main courtyard, Harry froze, his eyes glued to the spot where he had disarmed Voldemort and cleared the Wizarding world of the darkness that had tried to consume everyone. When he heard a faint bang of a door in the distance he pulled his wand and looked around wildly for the source only to realise that the people around him had stopped walking and were now staring at him. Hermione promptly put her hand on his elbow and roused him enough so they kept walking. He felt incredibly silly for his reaction and embarrassed that it had been witnessed by others.

Standing in the main doors their Head of House, now Headmistress, looked over the students arriving and made eye contact with her favourite Gryffindor with sad eyes. When the trio approached her she held out a hand and flattened a section of his hair in a motherly gesture to show that she was here for him and didn't want to become a stranger. He gave her a tight smile in response and relaxed his shoulders.

"It's good to see you, Potter." She said and then put her hands on Hermione and Ron's shoulder's, patting them gently before looking past them.

The trio moved forward and Harry's gut filled with the most painful knotting and butterflies he had ever experienced. There was no laughter this year, no bustling energy from the students that had already arrived and were sitting in their respective houses. Hermione had been right, it did feel different and everyone had been impacted by the war, especially Harry.

Harry refused to look up from the cobbles that lined the Great Hall as they went to find a seat. He elected to sit as far away from everyone as possible and the other two joined him as he emotionally distanced himself from everyone else in the room. He could feel the eyes, hear the whispers of hero worship, the grateful tones of those still alive because of him and he just wanted to block it all out.

"Harry, look." Hermione leaned over the table and put her hand on his forearm, "Look who's at the head table." She continued and the three of them looked over simultaneously at one person.

"Blimey, how did _he_ survive?" Ron muttered distastefully.

Harry sat emotionless, watching the man who saved his life at the crux of it all. He was wandering about the stage speaking with various staff members before coming to sit on the right-hand side of the Headmistress's chair. He thought that the man _had_ died that night, died right in front of his eyes but there he was walking stiffly and very much alive.

"I'm surprised he came back." Hermione commented.

"He probably has nowhere else to go." Harry finally spoke and then looked away, his thoughts carrying him into his own world.

Hermione kept her hand on his forearm and stroked the material of his jumper with her thumb as she continued to talk about nothing in particular to Ron who wasn't listening. Harry didn't know how he felt, he couldn't pinpoint which part of being in the castle had him feeling the most anxious. He thought back to the therapy sessions he had after Molly recognised the signs of post-traumatic stress in him, but with all the overwhelming emotions that he was feeling it was hard to focus.

He glanced up for a moment and walking into the hall was Draco Malfoy, making his way to the Slytherin table that was looking very empty. He looked tired and in his own world, much like Harry, but it seemed that he still had the effort left in him to maintain his slick appearance. The Gryffindor had almost given up with that aspect of himself, he didn't see the point and his unruly dark hair hung over his face. His bangs getting far too long and sat over his eyes when his head was bowed forward.

The Slytherin sat and when he looked up their eyes connected for a brief moment before they both looked away. The acknowledgement was small but it was there and he watched as Professor McGonagall walked up the aisle between Slytherin and Gryffindor. At the front, she took command of everyone's attention by tapping her piece of rolled parchment on the podium. It was the same as Dumbledore used to start the year with the welcomes and general notices but when she started talking about the sorting ceremony she well and truly had the attention of the full room.

"This year, we are going to do something different. The school is going to be resorted, all students from fourth year up are going to come back and we will let the Sorting Hat decide which house should be best for them."

"They can't do that, can they?" Ron bristled quietly and Harry shared a look with Hermione quickly before they all turned their attention back.

It seemed other students thought this unfair also if the gentle heckles that surfaced from the older students was anything to go by but the Headmistress was not going to be deterred and called the first years up for their sorting. Whilst this happened, Harry wondered what he was going to look like in a Slytherin uniform, it was the only house he could think of that he would be resorted into. He risked a glance at their Defence Professor and shuddered at the idea of having to be so close with him. He was going to miss the tower greatly.

"I think the reason we're still alive is because we're Gryffindor's. Don't you think?" Ron whispered to them both and again Harry shared another look with Hermione before he nodded.

He remembered back in his first year being so adament that Slytherin was a bad house and Ron had even said that bad Witches and Wizards were produced there. He wondered what would have happened if they hadn't had that chance encounter with Draco, how different the war might had ended and the lives that might have been saved. Would Professor Snape still have thought he was a spoiled little snot back then? Or would he have revelled in the spotlight of having – _what did he say –_ A new celebrity, in his house.

"Fifth years please." The Headmistress announced.

"Ron, I don't think that's a smart idea to hang on to." Hermione replied, she too was worried about her resorting but Harry remained calm.

As the house tables started to fill with the new students, it was clear that Slytherin had been hit the hardest with only half of students occupying the long table. Harry suspected a lot of students had been pulled from school after the fall of darkness but he would only be speculating. Whatever the reason was, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson were the only students from their year left.

"Sixth years, please." The Headmistress called for sorting.

"How do you reckon he did it?" Ron whispered across the table once more.

"Who?" Hermione frowned.

"Snape, how did he survive Nagini? Sure he looks like crap but – "

"Ronald, stop it. He is our Professor and let's not forget…" She looked over at Harry who was watching something at the front of the room.

"Oh, right." Ron muttered, remembering the sobering reason why Harry went into the forest and who had relayed that information.

"Just give the man a little respect this year, please?" She pleaded, knowing full well how stubborn her boyfriend could be, especially with their ex-Potion's Professor.

Slowly the students were being resorted, surprisingly there were few changes each year level but the tables did seem to start evening out. There were some heartbroken friends that were split up from their houses and as each year went up, Harry's nervousness grew until it was their time.

"Seventh years and above." The Headmistress called them all up, Harry lagging behind hoping that he wouldn't have to go through with it, Ron not far behind him.

Hagrid smiled at them as they stood to the side in a line and they were able to muster a small smile to their gentle giant. Moving along the table, many familiar faces were still there as well as a few that were absent. Harry let his eyes linger on their Defence Professor and let the memories of the Shrieking Shack fill his mind, running through everything he could remember to see which point he overlooked that would have shown that the man was still alive but came with none. He was staring, rather obviously, and didn't register that he was next to be sorted until he was nudged in the back by Ron and he cleared his throat realising that the man was staring back at him.

Turning to his friends, they saw his face suddenly go very pale and he starte rapidly apologising with desperation. Hermione had both hands on his shoulders trying to push him up to the stool and calming him simultaneously, she knew why he was doing this but she didn't want him making a scene in front of everyone.

"What are you talking about? Go." Ron whispered with confusion and Hermione finally managed to turn him so he was in the direction of their Headmistress. Before he sat, he addressed the woman with a grave expression and apologised.

"Whatever for, Potter?" She asked; he looked past her at the Slytherin head before giving her a tight smile.

Their Defence Professor was watching him with interest, although most would say dis-interest. He was so sure the hat was going to place him in Slytherin this year that his heart skipped a beat and then constricted in his chest painfully. Draco Malfoy had already been placed back into Slytherin, that wasn't really a surprise, but what were people going to say when their Gryffindor saviour was really a Slytherin.

"For this. I shouldn't have defied the hat in my frist year." He replied as he sat and she paused before placing the hat on his head, a confused expression fleeting.

 _Ah, Mr. Potter we meet once again. An adventurous and troubling time you have had, one that your friends could only speculate at. You have become a cunning mastermind, patient and loyal. You remember what I said to you the first year? It would suit you well._

"Just do it." Harry said quietly aloud and closed his eyes, his brows knitting together in an intense frown as the hat kept talking. He refused to look up.

 _If you insist, Mr. Potter._

There was a tense moment where silence followed the hats confirmation. Gryffindor had been good to him but times had changed, _he_ had changed. The quiet would even be a refreshing change for him. But the hat still had to announce its final decision, the school would need to know their hero was no longer a Gryffindor, and his Head of House would be a man who cheated death. He held his breath.

"Slytherin." The hat announced to the hall and Harry refused to open his eyes as he heard the gasps and shocked whispers working their way through the hall.

"What, no!" Ron choked.

"Ron, hush." Hermione put her arm around him as he went to lunge forward..

The hat was removed from his head and he risked a glance at the Headmistress who smiled sadly at him, but she understood, it was clearly etched into the aging face. She patted his shoulder and he looked to the Slytherin table, missing Professor Snape's shocked expression, with a baited breath he made his way slowly down the stairs and along the benches. He walked past all the younger years and kept walking past the three remaining Slytherin's in his year who had been sorted back into their house so he could sit by himself. After a beat, the hall went silent and looking down towards the front of the hall, Draco Malfoy had stood and was walking towards him. Instinctively Harry stood and pulled his wand from his pocket, not raising his hand.

Minerva didn't believe that anything serious would happen but not daring to utter a word for the next student to come forward until the two Slytherin's worked things out. Severus, too, didn't believe anything would happen, however he couldn't deny that having Potter in Slytherin created an odd emotion within him. The teen looked unwell, sickly with his pale skin and unruly hair, but he didn't show his concern as he watched with the rest of the school.

"Potter."

"Malfoy."

They addressed each other with no emotion and the staring competition started immediately, each not wanting to make the first move. Ron stood in line to be sorted absolutely gobsmacked and Hermione who was standing behind him squeezed his hand gently as they watched.

"You saved my life." Harry and Draco spoke at the same time after a few minutes of eyeing each other and Draco was the first to crack, putting his head down and away from everyone else to let a smile pull at his lips.

"Slytherin, huh?" Draco commented softly.

"Apparently so." Harry replied without any hint of malice and then extended his hand which was met, shaking the other.

There was a short movement of the blondes' head that signalled a nod that only Harry would have noticed before he turned and took the seat next to where Harry had sat. After a breath, Harry too sat and the two students sat side by side in allegiance publicly for the first time since they started school in their first year. Both students and staff looked at the scene and without hesitation, the Headmistress smiled and called the next student forward.

"Can you believe that?" Ron looked over his shoulder at Hermione and she shook her head as if she were lost for words.

She actually wasn't surprised and urged Ron to take his place at the stool whilst she watched Harry and Draco sitting in what appeared to be a relaxed silence. On the surface, she acted surprised but underneath she wasn't all that shocked, when it all boiled down, they weren't all that different from each other.

"Gryffindor." The hat announced and Ron bounded off the stage to be with Seamus Finnegan who had also been resorted.

Hermione made her way up to the stage and took a seat, remembering fond memories of being sorted the first time around. She had been so nervous and uptight about being in the right house, but now that was all different and was no longer concerned where she was placed.

"Ravenclaw."

She took a deep breath and waited for the outcry from her new boyfriend but when she looked at him his jaw was on the floor. He almost looked as though he was going to cry and she hadn't seen him upset very often. The red head was as stubborn as a Hippogriff. She didn't mind Ravenclaw, in fact, she believed that putting some distance between her and Ron was a positive thing. Not being in each others pockets all the time would make their relationship stronger in the long run.

"Good luck, Miss Granger."

"Thank you, Professor." She replied to her Headmistress and slowly made her way to her new house, robes changing as she walked.

Ron stood and gave her a hug and didn't want to let her go but she insisted as to not make a scene in front of the school.

"Let go, Ron. I have to go." She whispered as she pried herself away and walked away.

"I can't believe this." He said to himself and Seamus nodded.

When the students had all been sorted and settled into their houses with friends and new friends, the Headmistress announced the feast and suddenly the hall filled with mouth-watering food, the scent enough to get the Gryffindor's piling their plates immediately. Hermione was a little more graceful as she started chatting with Luna, someone she never thought to be close with but she was now their housemate so would act like one. They were, after all, adults now.

"Well, Severus. Not something we saw coming." Minerva sat down happily and leaned forward for the chicken.

"Harry Potter, a Slytherin." Severus looked down at his plate with disgust, he didn't ever think that something so horrible could ever happen to him.

"Oh, come now, Severus. I know that the two of you aren't enemies. I doubt he even knew you were planning on teaching this year, so surprises all round."

"Minerva, please. I am rather tired and would like to eat in peace." Severus reached for the wine, he was going to need a lot of it to get through the next week as he adjusted to his new student.

The last he'd seen of the boy was on that awful night and not one that he could easily forget. The pain and fear held within his green eyes, Lily's eyes. He shuddered at the embarassing weakness he'd shown – _look at me_ – how desperate for just one last glance into those beautiful eyes. It was something that haunted him, all through his recovery and all night. It made him nauseous. _Blasted, Potter!_

Whilst dinner had been a rather silent affair from the Slytherin table, once they arrived in the common room Harry was surprised to see hustle and bustle. Since his second year when he and Ron had infiltrated the sacred Slytherin common room he'd always imagined it to be a subdued place, someplace reflective and quiet. So, to see first years talking animatedly amongst themselves and the second years reconnecting in their groups was refreshing.

Knowing roughly where he was going, Harry headed in the direction of the male dormitories and slipped quietly into the one where Blaise was unpacking his books. Noting his trunk just to his right he sat on the bed and looked around at the unfamiliar furnishing and ran his hands over the silky emerald bed covers. Soon Draco came into the room and went straight to his trunk to pull out clothes and left again, not saying a word to anyone which suited Harry just fine but he needed to know where the bathrooms were so he could brush his teeth.

Asking Blaise for some general directions, he entered the bathrooms and found Draco bent over a sink brushing his teeth covered in a towel around his waist and a black long-sleeved top. They made awkward eye contact as the ex-Gryffindor went over with his brush and started doing his teeth also but not before the blonde wandered away muttering about how weird it all felt. Harry had to admit that he was right, this felt like a dream and that he could wake up soon and find himself still at the new Burrow, away from everyone.

Alas, when he woke groggy in the morning he found himself surrounded by dark green drapes and the softest cotton sheets he'd ever slept on. He felt disorientated and panic started to build until he realised where he was. _Slytherin house, not a dream_ , he concluded and pulled the curtains back. They had an interesting view of the Black Lake from the Dungeons and whilst some may have found it awesome, after being down in that lake in his fourth year he would safely stay away from it. The water brought no comfort to him.

Today was his first official day back at school for over a year. He had been teaching himself and learning off Hermione for a year already so to slip back into a routine of teacher and student was going to be an adjustment. Especially when he was going to be facing his Defence Professor at some point in the week.

Changing into his Slytherin uniform was odd, the Serpent crest not something he was accustomed to seeing on his chest and he missed his Lion status in the school. Looking in the mirror he shook his head so his bangs weren't in his eye and took the image of himself in.

"This is as good as it's going to get." He said to himself and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"It would be if your hair wasn't covering your face." Draco sniffed from the other side of the room.

"What's wrong with my hair." Harry raked a hand through his dark lengths and it parted in the middle, framing his face.

"You're going to turn into Professor Snape if you don't deal with it." The blonde continued and walked over to the mirror.

"And?"

"I won't dignify that with an answer."

Draco offered to help him with his hair but Harry abruptly rejected the offer, he didn't know Draco that well to have him fix his locks. It seemed the other teen understood the reasons and they both stood looking at the mirror, both of them realising how similar they now looked in their uniforms and grown hair.

Harry found Hermione sitting alone when they made it to the hall and he went to go and sit with her.

"Where's Ron?"

"With the Gryffindor's." She said as she read the paper.

The Slytherin looked over to the Gryffindor's and saw Ron sulking into his breakfast. He would have assumed that with them being so close over the summer after declaring their love for each other that they wouldn't be alone outside of classes and sleep. Turns out Harry had been wrong and his friend was being a typical Gryffindor about things.

"Guess that's why we're in different houses." He said to himself.

"Huh?" Hermione looked up having not heard but he shook his head and slid an egg onto his plate.

Professor Flitwick came up to them both when breakfast was well underway and Hermione was given her timetable, she smiled politely at him and then went through it to see what she was up for in the morning. She hummed at various intervals, to which Harry found amusing, until a piece of rolled parchment landed in front of him, just missing his breakfast. Unrolling it, he found his own timetable and he peered up at his friend who was looking past him at the Slytherin's, in particular, Professor Snape.

"Guess he hasn't buried the hatchet." She mused and he shook his head.

"Apparently not, but at least I don't have to look at him until tomorrow." He replied and took a long gulp of water.

"So, how's Slytherin?"

"Just as I remember it." He gave a coy smile and she looked down with a large smile across her face.

"Of course, you have already been there with Ron." At this she laughed and he finally gave a wide smile, both looking down as to not surprise anyone.

"And Ravenclaw?"

"Relaxed, lots of books. It's practically heaven." She almost swooned but instead showed him the title of a novel she had started reading.

Movement from the end of the Gryffindor table caught their attention and Ron walked over to them, standing awkwardly next to Hermione before asking what they had first thing. Considering there weren't many from their year left, she deduced that they would be in all the same core classes to which Harry's timetable confirmed her suspicions. There was only eleven of them left this year, but she was surprised that the smaller extra classes that she'd taken throughout the years were also available, some that would only likely have a handful of students.

"So we have the same classes, cool. Ready to go?" He asked her and she nodded, picking up her bag. Harry stood also and followed behind them to their first class.

Reconvening at lunch, the trio sat down by themselves where Ron started grumbling about Potion's they had for the rest of the afternoon.

"I'm not even sure what I'm more annoyed about this year. The fact that Professor McGonagall enrolled me for Potion's or that Snape is taking Defence."

"I'm quite looking forward to both, Professor Snape always wanted to take up that position and now he can do so. He might be a different teacher without the added pressures he's had over the years." Hermione opened her novel as she ate.

Harry on the other hand sat there staring at the wall off in the distance thinking about the afternoon. The last time he had been in a Potion's classroom he had been using the Half Blood Prince's textbook, despite the fact that it had been Professor Snape's book, he had grown a fond attachment to it. Sadly, it was now ash along with the other items in the Room of Requirement and had been lost by the fire. His eyes searched out for the customary black robes and sour face up at the head table but found an empty setting, Defence was surely going to be interesting with Professor Snape in charge.

"We should go, it's nearly time for class." Hermione said standing, and the three of them went on their journey to the Dungeons.

"It feels odd that you're down here now." Hermione commented as they passed the entrance to the Slytherin common room.

"You're telling me. This morning I was sure a giant shark swam past the window." Harry commented and shuddered.

"Creepy." Ron added as they neared the classroom.

By the time they got there, most of their year had arrived and they found their stations quickly as Professor Slughorn entered from his office at the back of the classroom. He was looking older than when Harry had last seen him and frail. He supposed this was going to be the norm from now on, everyone he looked at appeared tired and worn out. It was going to take time before people settled and practiced a carefree life.

"Harry, such a joy to have you back in my classroom." Professor Slughorn announced and Harry wanted to shrink on the stool he was sitting on.

"Professor." He replied with a tight smile and looked down at the table.

"Splendid. Today we will be going through the curriculum, so no brewing at this stage. We will start with some potion basics as there was a somewhat lacking and inconsistent teaching the past years…"

"Basics?" Hermione pouted as she whispered to her friends then she put up her hand.

"Yes, Miss…?"

"Granger, sir." She bristled at the fact that he couldn't remember her name, "What do you mean when you say _basics_?"

Ron leaned over to Harry and mentioned what happened the year before in this class. Unfortunately, Hermione heard him and she threw him a withering glance at the reminder of not being top student for one of her classes. Smiling down at the table, Harry ran his finger on their textbook and opened the front cover wishing desperately that it read his favourite name on the inside.

Unsurprisingly by the end of class, their bushy haired friend stormed out of class and started ranting about the development of their class.

"I can't believe we aren't going to be brewing properly until week three. Do you know how much we are going to have to cram for the exams?"

"We just need to pass this, I doubt the Ministry is going to be looking at individual marks for each class." Ron said, he didn't care for Potion's but he figured that he'd need it to become an Auror. He had forgiven Professor McGonagall for that one.

"And you, Harry? You don't have the Half Blood Prince to help you this year."

"Thanks for the reminder, Hermione. I'd almost forgotten about him." Their hero sulked and stopped walking when they were passing his house and the others stopped also.

"I'm going to sit outside, are you coming?" He looked to her for a moment and then nodded but said he wanted to put his bag away.

"I'll catch up."

He ducked into the Slytherin common room and put his things away but was in no hurry to catch up with them. He was feeling very overwhelmed by the day, and he was exhausted with the memories that would surface at any given time. Potion's had been hard for him and he wondered if he could seek out the Room of Requirement just to have a look, anything just to look through the pages where he could lose himself. He shook his head at how ridiculous it sounded and flopped onto his bed for a few minutes, staring into a green abyss.

Hermione and Ron were sitting outside and resting against a large tree that sheltered them from the sun. The red head turned to his girlfriend and looked at her gravely, they hadn't had a chance where they could talk about what had happened that night and would going to happen going forward. He was quite upset that his two friends had been separated from him even though he still had Seamus for company.

"So…"

"Yeah." She bit her lip and went to hold his hand.

"You're in a different house this year."

"Doesn't mean we can't still be together."

"But I can't see you as often."

"We'll make it work." She offered him a reassuring smile and shuffled closer, allowing Ron to put his arm around her which is where they stayed for a while, occasionally sharing a kiss.

Harry was standing up the hill, seeing them in this embrace made him feel alone and hollow inside. It wasn't that he wanted a lover to fill that gap but he wished it didn't sting as much as it still did seeing them like that. One could say that he was even the third wheel in their friendship now and going down there to interrupt the moment wasn't something he wanted. He was still happy for them, but couldn't deny the feelings he had in association to them being together.

Instead, he slowly turned and made for the castle but finding Draco sitting on a rock also overlooking where Hermione and Ron where sitting, he wandered over. He had no doubt that the teen wanted to be left alone but he figured that they were housemates he would go and say hello. Perhaps sit with him so neither of them had to be alone. As he got closer, the blonde seemed to be very much in his own world so instead of announcing himself, the ex-Gryffindor moved to sit on the rock that was plenty big enough for two people.

They stayed in silence for a long time but considering there had been no fight or curse flung his way, he decided that he was welcomed.

"Do you ever wish you had that?" Draco asked softly.

Harry, who had been looking at the ground below the looked at his two friends and hummed quietly. Did he want a relationship? Another person who could comfort him and understand what he'd been through? Of course he did but he also knew that people like he and Draco didn't simply get to move on quite that easily and Harry knew that if he were to find someone, it would be likely he'd push them away.

"Do you?" The brunette countered.

"Sometimes."

Harry found when he looked to his classmate that he was already looking back at him, _sometimes_ could mean anything but it was the tone in his voice that told Harry that they both felt the same.


	2. Chapter 2

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Harry nervously ran his hands through his hair and dropped his head between his thighs. He was considering the idea of running to the bathroom as his stomach churned and brow began to grow beads of moisture. His leg was thumping the ground anxiously and his mind clouding over. He didn't want to go, he could have happily done any class whether it be History with Binn's or Divination with Professor Trelawny but no, he was expected to be in Defence against the Dark Arts with Professor Snape.

He was pale, paler than usual, and he refused to eat breakfast feeling like this. It had weighed heavily on his shoulders the moment he'd started preparing for bed that night making him toss and turn. Professor Snape, a force to be reckoned with and a sour man at the best of times when he's not laying on the floor covered in blood.

The image flashed across his mind before he could stop it and immediately his stomach churned with so much force that he had to run into the bathroom. Doubling over the toilet he let whatever contents was left in his stomach out and gagged on the chunks that got stuck in his throat. Coughing and spitting, he dry wretched a few times before he felt like he could stand up and leaned against the door of the cubicle to catch his breath. He knew that after this reaction to having a class with their Defence Professor that it was going to be a long and arduous year.

Flushing and opening the door to wash his face, he noticed Draco leaning against one of the sinks. The brunette swallowed the best his dry mouth could muster and continued to the sinks to rinse and wash his mouth. Feeling highly embarrassed, he refused to make eye contact or even acknowledge that his housemate was even there until the blonde spoke.

"I was the same when Mother informed me I was going back to school."

Peering through his bangs, Harry raked a wet hand through his hair and propped himself up to look at his housemate with his other hand on the edge of the basin. Harry found himself nodding, he didn't really know what else to say about the statement other than he felt some relief that he wasn't alone in his pain. _There_ , he thought, he finally admitted that he was in pain. That feeling and emotion that couldn't be touched or held, something that was invisible to those who had not felt it and so obvious to those who had. _Dr. Fletcher would be proud_ , he thought bitterly and then stood up right.

"Defence?" Draco prompted and Harry nodded.

"I watched him die." This time Draco was the one to nod and then looked at his watch quickly.

"If you're coming to class, we need to leave now."

Harry took one last look in the mirror and winced at how disgusting he looked. His eyes were bloodshot and there was absolutely no colour in his face. His hair hung like a damp cloth around his forehead, so he wet both hands and smoothed it back much like Draco did with his. This had to work, it was the best he could muster by this point and went to get his bag.

The two Slytherin's walked into class with seconds to spare and both found respective seats at the back of the class. Keeping his eyes trained on the chair in front of him, Harry missed the worried glances from Hermione but she was at least happy he made it into class considering how he had been reacting for the rest of the day.

Severus said nothing as his students arrived, the brunette looking worse for wear than the blonde. He had been dreading this class the most out of all he was teaching, he almost wished he could be supervising the first year Potion's students rather than standing in front of the graduating class. He had been scratching his head for the past month trying to establish a curriculum that wouldn't bore them to stupidity but also covered the Ministry's requirements.

Potter, Granger and Malfoy were always going to be an exception, though he refused to include Weasley until he proved himself otherwise. These were the four students that needed to be nurtured and watched over the year, Potter and Malfoy in particular, but he refused to coddle them. He didn't even know coddling would be in his vocabulary and even if it was he sure as hell wouldn't be acting it to them.

He decided not to state the fact they were only just on time because of this fact, he was going to stay away from them and see how they went, stepping in when he felt it necessary to do so. By the state of Potter, he appeared to have had a rough night and he wasn't surprised. He too had experienced a less than stellar night on occasion since being properly up and about; this castle haunted him and he could only assume that these two teens felt the same. But bringing himself back to the present, he had a class of more than competent Witches and Wizards in front of him that were expecting a miracle.

"I would offer you a warm welcome back to Hogwarts but between you and I, we know it's a very blatant lie." Severus could empathise with the returning students, "The content this year, admittedly, could use some colour as to ensure you feel you've accomplished something constructive." He paused expecting Hermione Granger to raise her hand, however when it didn't happen he eyed her critically and continued.

"Therefore, we will spend some time on the curriculum and for the time we do after that will be something far more advanced." When a hand wasn't raised he narrowed his eyes and couldn't stop the biting remark from slipping past his lips, "Miss. Granger, do you have nothing add or query?"

There was a snort from beside her from the obnoxious Gryffindor red head and a shake of the head from the new Ravenclaw. He was remarkably impressed and irritated in equal parts, he usually gained some form of satisfaction from knocking her down a notch or two for her ridiculous comments. So when he moved on to their first topic he felt the spark missing from the students, they all looked somber and their minds somewhere else. It certainly made for a tedious first lesson from the surviving students. The worst of them all were the two students sitting at the back of the class and it irked him to the point where he brought it up during dinner that night with the Headmistress.

"Draco and Harry, you say?" She thoughtfully chewed her carrots.

"Potter came to my class with a questionable dishevelled appearance whilst Mr. Malfoy zoned out five minutes in."

"I would expect some change in them, Severus. Perhaps we should let them settle before taking rash actions." She offered and then continued to say she would pay extra attention to them when she saw them.

As Headmistress of the school she was no longer in charge of any classes, but had offered to cover should one of her staff fall ill. She felt the exercise strange and even after day two, admitted she missed interacting with the students on that level. Harry and Draco were the special cases this year, she knew that she needed to look out for them to ensure they were healthy and safe. Albus had also mentioned it to her that morning and worried they would get lost in the system. No, she wasn't going to let that happen and seeing as they were now both in the same house it made it a lot easier to keep track of them together.

"I respect Professor Snape a lot for what he said today. He's right after all, the Professor's will just be looking at getting us to pass and not teach us anything more."

"Like Slughorn?" Ron snorted.

"Precisely. I think we're going to enjoy Defence this year." Hermione chirped rather happily but Harry was checked out and pushing the peas around his plate.

Draco didn't stray far from his mind, their interactions in the bathroom had been circling his sub conscious all day and continued to play over. Perhaps tonight he would go searching for that missing piece of himself and seek out the Room of Requirement, it was worth a shot and he still had possession of his fathers invisibility cloak.

Severus watched his newest Slytherin. The two of them hadn't said a word to each other, upon his arrival back at the school. There were a lot of skeletons between them both that, on Severus's part, had been buried long ago. Hagrid's Hut, the Great Hall and then finally in the Shrieking Shack. The last one haunting him the most and the memories that he had given the teen at the time, they had only been because he was dying that he bared that part of his soul. There was always going to be an element of risk in giving them to him but to have survived and now acknowledge that another knew the most painful part of his being. It scared him.

Harry was actually enjoying his time as he sat within his mind at the very end of the Gryffindor table. Hermione and Ron were chatting away and he let his thoughts carry him away where he wasn't alone. Whilst the memories of him and Draco weren't the most pleasant ones he had, they surely acted as a good distraction for him and with that bubble firmly intact he stood slowly and said goodbye to his friends.

He never made it to out of the common room that night, his dreams carried him away the moment his head hit the pillow. Instead, he was woken in the early hours by a nightmare, the same nightmare that he had regularly that couldn't be shaken, not even through therapy. The smell of a forest and the flash of green. It haunted him to the core and always left him feeling a little more empty inside when he woke.

He gasped in his bed, a simple whimper escaping his mouth before he had the chance to ascertain where he was. It was too late when he came to and rose from his sweat soaked sheets. Draco and Blaise were already moving about but no one said anything and Harry excused himself quickly, going into the bathroom to assess how he looked. His eyes were rimmed red as he sniffed and wiped his nose up his shoulder. Green was everywhere, green followed him where ever he went.

Wiping his eyes dry by the backs of his hands he righted himself and squared his shoulders. There was no time for crying, what happened the in past couldn't be changed and he had to deal with the outcome in due course. He had dreams, he accepted that. They were from the past, he accepted that too. They were part of him now, and he accepted that also.

In this moment, he cursed Dr. Fletcher for ever suggesting that coming back to Hogwarts for the year was a good idea.

.

"He's looking a little distracted today." Hermione commented as she chewed on a piece of toast.

"Just today? He always looks like that now." Ron replied

"I know, but he just looks worse. Do you think he had a nightmare?" She continued, the piece of toast just millimetres away from her lips.

"Again, he always has nightmares. Just leave him, he'll be fine in an hour or so." Ron waved her concerns off and helped himself to more food.

Hermione wasn't convinced, they had spent so much time together now that even the smallest change she had noticed. They hadn't even talked about what had happened before their Defence class but now didn't know how to bring it up as he seemed in his own little world.

Harry's mind was replaying the nightmare over and over. It was on a loop and today they had Care of Magical Creatures which was going to be held out by Hagrid's new shed. Hopefully they weren't going to be out in the forest, he wasn't sure that his feet would even carry him there. An owl swooped above him and a letter dropped onto the table distracting him for the moment and he picked it up to read. The writing looked familiar but the crest on the back sealing it was not.

As soon as he read the first line he screwed the parchment up tightly in his hand and let the ball fall onto the table. Lazily drawing his wand from his pocket, he cast a small _incendio_ on the letter and watched it smoulder away until it was ash. Closing his eyes, the smell of smoke reminded him of the burning pages of a book and it started to choke him mentally. Standing suddenly he bolted from the hall and found the nearest bathroom, feeling his breakfast coming up immediately and depositing in the toilet.

Hermione gave Ron a no nonsense sideways glare as their friend disappeared and he gave her a shrug as if to deny that it was his fault that it happened. She shook her head in irritation and then left the hall herself, the first class on her timetable was not with Ron so she was going to deal with him later once she'd cooled off. As she left, the thought occurred to her that perhaps it was for the best she was now in Ravenclaw. Not only was she surrounded by people that were fellow intellects but she got to spend some time away from her boyfriend so they weren't always in each other's pockets. Knowing the red head though, he was easily distracted and so she hoped that after all they had been through that she could trust him to stay with her and be happy.

Harry sat on a rock just away from the small group that had gathered by Hagrid's new hut and stared off into the forest. Seamus was whispering to Neville about Harry, he couldn't hear what was being said but when Seamus laughed he felt his heart ache. Turning towards the two boys, Neville gave his ex-Gryffindor friend a tight smile but Seamus just smirked and turned away. He knew it was partly to do with the fact he was now a Slytherin but he didn't know what else he could do not to put attention on himself.

"Morn'n all." Hagrid came out of his hut and beamed at them all as he put his hands on his hips, "Today we be goin; in 'ter the forest 'ter look at – " Harry rested his forehead against his drawn knees and gritted his teeth.

Hagrid kept talking but he didn't listen, instead he hung back from the group as they walked towards the forest and stopped when he reached the threshold. He wasn't going to do this, his nightmare was too fresh in his mind to even begin contemplating bringing up the memories so instead he turned on his heel and proceeded back up towards the castle, trying to hold his breath when the scent of pine needles hit his nose.

Care of Magical Creatures wasn't something that he required in the future so cutting class didn't bother him. What bothered him was what he was going to do for two hours as he didn't particularly want to be alone. His friends were both in class and he couldn't risk going to the common room in case he bumped into his Head of House on the way, so he opted for wandering the upper levels of the castle.

It was so much lighter up in the fourth and fifth floors that he looked out the window and let the sun sink into his skin. The Quidditch pitch was off in the distance and he had no issues with not playing the sport he once loved for the year. He snorted and smiled when he thought of he and Draco both turning up to trials going for the Seeker position, he could imagine the scandal that would break out over that.

Turning a corner, he found himself standing in front of the large wooden doors of the Room of Requirement. His heart started to drum louder in his chest and the smell of burning embers filled his nostrils. Of course he knew this was all in his head and he moved forward to place a hand on one door, running a finger down the charred edge of one door and taking a deep breath. He looked to the corner on the floor and imagined himself sitting there, Voldemorts voice in his mind and the image of Draco and Blaise scampering away like scared bunnies.

It was going to be now or never, so he went to push on the doors to find them open easier than he thought and he lost his footing, spilling into the room and landing on all fours. Remnants of ash that had been dislodged to his fall came up off the floor and up his nose as he inhaled causing a series of sneezes that echoed in the vacant room.

After he was able to compose himself and could stand, he brushed himself down and then looked around the room to find nothing. No blackened walls, no ash piles, nothing. He didn't exactly know what he had been expecting, perhaps the room to have been left untouched as he wasn't supposed to be in here, or that miraculously the room had repaired itself and the contents along with it. Whatever it was, it was not this and he felt disappointed. Continuing to walk into the room until he was standing in the centre, he turned slowly, taking in all that there was to see, only to find nothing of note.

He decided that no one was going to come in here at any point and so took the time to sit down and stare at the ceiling. Falling back onto his bag, he used it as a pillow and felt the movement of warmth as the sun's rays were repositioned to cover him from neck down. Even though he was on the hard stone floor he began to experience a sense of peace from within and a small smile pulled at his lips as he closed his eyes.

Hermione rushed to their Defence class and found Ron sitting up the back. She wasn't exactly early, but she wasn't late and the only person she could see missing was her friend. Leaning over to Ron she asked if he'd seen him but shook his head.

"He disappeared at the start of Hagrid's class and no one's seen him since." He whispered back and then the door was shut which caused the room to fall silent.

"As we discussed yesterday, we will be working on – Where is Mr. Potter?" Severus stopped and folded his arms as he looked over his students.

"Mr. Malfoy?" He prompted.

"Haven't seen him, sir."

"Miss. Granger, Mr. Weasley?"

"Haven't seen him either, sir." Hermione answered for them both and watched the man grow an ambivalent expression before continuing on with his sentence.

"We will be going through shielding attacks…" The man continued and Hermione looked across to watch as Draco Malfoy looked off into the distance.

At the end of class, Severus called on Draco to come and see him and the teen stood in front of his desk with hands in his pockets. The man waited until all students had left and then motioned for him to come up the stairs to his office where he shut the door behind them. Draco took a seat in front of his Professor's desk and looked down at his hands until he was spoken to.

"I won't beat around the bush, Draco. You are not coping." He said stiffly and the blonde looked up and shook his head before looking away.

"Everything is a reminder."

"Of what precisely?"

"The choices I made." His voice was small and Severus inhaled deeply, letting his breath drag out.

"We all made questionable choices for what we believed to be the correct thing to do at the time." Severus stood and took the seat next to his student.

"My mother was insistent that I come back."

"As was I for you to return." At this Draco looked up and frowned, it was the first expression Severus had gotten from the teen since he left Narcissa's home three months ago.

"Why? Every day I've had to deal with guilt and – "

"You cannot run from them, you must accept what you did and move on. Rebuild yourself." Severus was a hypocrite, he always ran from his problems, it was the reason Albus had taken him in for protection.

"Harry feels it too." Draco hung his head and his hair flopped over his eyes.

"I can imagine he does." Severus shifted uncomfortably, "Where is he, Draco?"

Draco shrugged and looked up for Severus to see the pain that lingered behind his eyes. He had tried to shelter his Slytherin from as much of this as he could, that was why he honoured the Headmaster's wishes for him to be the one to kill him. He couldn't imagine Draco having the stomach to do something so disgusting and wrong, yet everything else had worn him down, tested him. Now they both wore the brand of their mistakes on their left forearms.

"If I were to look anywhere in this castle, where would I be best to start?" He himself wasn't going to approach the teen, he would be turning this over the Headmistress, but he needed something to go to her with.

"Sir, I honestly don't know. We don't exactly talk." Draco gave the man a perplexed expression so he decided to drop it and offered the Slytherin some tea to calm him.

After their chat, Severus made his way to the Headmistress's office and let himself in. She raised an eyebrow at his abrupt entrance but he took no heed of this and continued on until he was in front of the large ornate desk.

"This office does not suit you." He commented and she smiled.

"Please, take a seat, Severus. Believe it or not, I simply do not sit here to look good and have _much_ work to do." Her sass put him in his place and he had the good grace to look away.

"Potter, yes?" She offered and his head swung round.

"Yes. How did you – "

"Albus." She smiled and looked behind her at the sleeping Headmaster, "He informed me that Harry left his class this morning and is currently on the seventh floor."

"Room of Requirement." Severus whispered to himself and she nodded.

"I understand his behaviour isn't to be condoned, however, he is safe and will be in his remaining classes this afternoon."

Severus narrowed his eyes at the portrait above the Headmistress and stood, he should have known the fool would have been keeping an eye on his new student. Merlin, he was probably watching Draco and himself like a hawk making him instantly frustrated and went to take his leave.

"When you see, Mr. Potter. Please tell him I would like a word."

"Are you not going to deal with him yourself?" He spoke before his filter had a chance to kick in.

"You are his Head of House, yes? Surely the two of you can work out whatever differences you had without getting me involved. He has Potion's this afternoon and it would be prudent for him not to miss that class."

"Of course, Minerva." Gritting his teeth, Severus left and went to the hall in search of the ex-Gryffindor's friends.

Hermione started to get nervous even though Ron seemed unaffected by her mood change and the absence of his friend. She whacked him in the arm with her book and accused him of not caring when his face went pale and he looked down at his plate. Hermione's hair flung round when she looked to see what caused this change and saw their Defence Professor approaching, his face impassive which meant he had some unwelcome news.

"Mr. Potter is currently residing in the Room of Requirement. Please tell him the Headmistress would like to see him."

Hermione jumped up and grabbed Ron as she did as their Professor walked away. Pulling her boyfriend, they left the hall and found the doors standing proudly along the wall. Pushing slowly on one, Hermione poked her head inside and found her friend lying in the sun. He didn't stir as she stepped in and quietly they both walked over to the apparently sleeping brunette.

"He looks peaceful, doesn't he?" She whispered, and Ron rolled his eyes, kneeling and shaking his friends shoulder.

Harry woke with a start and took a moment to adjust before realising it was his friends. Sitting up, Hermione helped him and he dragged his bag around, almost hugging it.

"We've been so worried, why did you come here?" She asked, sitting in front of him.

"Didn't feel like going to class." He replied.

"Well, Professor Snape wasn't impressed you missed his class and Professor McGonagall wants you to see her."

"What? What's the time?"

"Lunch, are you hungry?" Ron asked hopefully, he hadn't finished what he'd had.

"Lunch?" The overwhelming feeling he had been experiencing was back and anxiety growing, "Lunch, er yeah sure."

"Do you want to talk about what's going on, Harry? You're awfully quiet." Hermione asked as they walked down the stairs.

"It's just all very… Real." He said and she nodded, "Don't say anything, but there have been a couple of moments with Draco, and it turns out that he and I are – We understand each other." He didn't know how else to finish off so he stuck with that.

"I suppose he would understand. Perhaps being sorted in Slytherin was the right thing for you."

"The green follows me everywhere."

"I know it does, but perhaps getting close with Draco will be good for you. Perhaps you could open up and chat about things." She offered and Ron kept quiet, he was far out of depth with the emotional things.

"We'll see. Hey, I might just go and see Professor McGonagall now and get it out of the way." Harry said when he spied their Defence Professor having lunch.

"Aren't you hungry, mate?"

"I'll see you later."

Harry waved them off and departed the hall after making eye contact with his new Head of House. He swallowed and felt the nausea returning, but as soon as he left it settled and he made his way to the gargoyle guarding the Headmistress's office. With a gentle knock on the door, it swung open and he found Professor McGonagall walking towards him with a smile. He hesitated, not having been in the room since he'd watched his Potion's Professor's memories, and his gaze went to the penseive that was tucked behind glass doors. He lingered, but then found a hand on his shoulder, guiding him towards the seats in front of her desk.

"How are you, Harry?" She asked softly, taking the chair beside him.

"Fine, Headmistress."

"I know that's what you'd like everyone to believe, Harry. I know it isn't the truth." She gave him her no nonsense stern look and he looked down into his lap, sighing.

"Coming back here was a mistake, I shouldn't be here."

"On the contrary, Harry, here is exactly where you need to be." The elderly voice made Harry sit upright and eyes immediate go to above the desk.

"Headmaster." Harry stood and walked closer, a mixture of emotions running through him.

"You are looking tired, dear boy. Not that I can say I am a _picture_ of health." He beamed in his frame and Harry fought the urge to smile when he heard his Headmistress groan out of frustration.

"Albus, honestly." She clucked about and Harry turned his attention back to her, "Harry. I know this is hard for you and I will never understand the depths of your pain. However, Albus is correct. You cannot bury all of this, you need to heal and accept what has happened. You're not the only student to be struggling and we are here to help."

Harry worried his bottom lip as she spoke.

"Now, I also understand that your relationship with Professor Snape _is_ strained. Give it time and hopefully the two of you can work out your differences." She turned him away from the pricked ears of the Headmaster and walked him down the steps. "Between you and I, he is equally anxious about you as you are of him but he is your Head of House."

"I guess I did tell the hat to place me in Slytherin."

"As you should have been in your first year." Dumbledore interjected lightly and Harry glared at him.

"This is a fresh start with new people. I see Draco Malfoy and yourself are close, confide in him and perhaps you can help each other." McGonagall stored the previous comment in the back of her mind and moved on.

Harry nodded and noted his dismissal graciously with one last look at his mentor hanging on the wall. When the door shut Minerva whipped round and put her hands on her hips.

"What do you mean he should have been in Slytherin?" She sounded almost wounded but the Headmaster winked and pretended to fall asleep in his chair to signal the conversation was over.


	3. Chapter 3

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By the end of the week, there hadn't been any more trouble and Harry was lying on his bed reading through his Potion's text book when Blaise opened the door and caught his attention.

"Meeting in the common room."

Harry followed him out and saw the entire Slytherin common room full of its students. Their Potion's Professor stood in front of the empty fire and their Head of House stood to the side, looking through the students as if he were looking for someone. Harry leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets next to Blaise, then saw Draco appear from somewhere across the room.

"What a great start to the year it has been Slytherins. We are rightfully in the lead with house points which I hope is a reflection on good behaviour in classes. The reason I have called this meeting is that Quidditch will be starting soon, so we will be holding trials next weekend."

At the mention of Quidditch, Harry gave a knowing look to Blaise, who returned his hesitance and then found Draco's eye across the room. The three of them shared a look, an understanding even, about the sport and the brunette had a feeling that neither of the others had touched their brooms since the fire. He wondered how this would work with Blaise being the Slytherin Quidditch Captain, or if he'd given that role to someone else.

"We should have very strong team this year, with our newest member, Harry Potter."

 _Dear Merlin no_ , Harry thought and immediately shrunk down the wall with his hand covering his face. _This cannot be happening_ , he could feel the looks surrounding students were giving him and hoped Draco didn't think he was actually going to try out. He was joined on the floor by Blaise seconds later.

"If you wish to sign up for these trials, Blaise Zabini – where are you? If you could put up our sign for the willing Quidditch partakers at the start of the week."

"Surely someone else could do it." Blaise complained as he sat on the floor next to his new classmate. Harry would have laughed it wasn't so tragic for their reasons for not wanting to be involved with Quidditch.

When the meeting was over, Blaise stood and then offered his hand to Harry who took it without a second thought. They were soon joined by Draco who had wound his way quickly through the sea of Slytherins to stand with them and as they stood there, Harry felt something bloom in his chest. Not sure what had caused it, he let it slide and didn't think of it much longer and let his eyes roam the common room. At some point, he found Professor Snape looking in their direction with an odd expression and when he turned to the others they were watching him too.

"Am I missing something." Harry whispered to them, not understanding if there was a reason for the weird situation he was finding himself in.

"He knows about the fire." Draco whispered back and it occurred to Harry that perhaps their Head of House was showing some empathy in his gaze across the room, he was certainly still watching them when Harry looked back.

He wanted to know why the man knew this information, obviously one of the two Slytherin's had said something but context meant everything and if it had been discussed with official matters, it created an anxiety he didn't want to deal with. The teen was going to ask but when he went to address them, Blaise had disappeared and Draco was walking away.

The green was consuming him, and he needed some time to himself, so going to the dormitory he grabbed his invisibility cloak and slipped out of the common room. The darkness of the corridor helped calm him, but he still felt like it was suffocating so climbed the stairs to find an alcove on the ground floor.

So, Professor Snape knew of the fire, knew who had been involved. Harry wondered what else he knew, if he knew what happened in the forest that night, if the man knew that he pined over the memories that he watched before going on that suicide mission. Of course, there was always one way he could find out this information but with his Professor making him nauseous each time they bumped into each other he doubted that was a realistic goal at the moment.

Hearing footsteps coming his way and low voices, he ensured his feet were covered and huddled tighter in his alcove.

" – He would be the best fit and he's done it before." It was Slughorn's voice.

"As you are well aware, Horace, the boys will be leaving at the end of the year and this would be the perfect chance to have someone else take the lead." Harry groaned at the sound of his Head of House's voice that dripped acid-like scathing replies.

"And you expect me not to be excited that Harry Potter will be on our team. I've heard that Draco Malfoy can be unreliable."

"Mr. Malfoy is a competent Seeker who was bested by Mr. Potter on occasion and vice versa. None of these students should be entertaining the idea of signing up this year and I implore you to find other students."

Harry moved from his position and had to see for himself if what he was hearing were true. It sounded as if Severus Snape had just offered him a compliment, even if it was indirectly. Unfortunately, he over extended his arm and tumbled out of his hole just as the two men rounded the corner out of sight and hoped neither of them came back.

"Fine, Severus but for the sake of Slytherin's pride, we should be using these students. If they do not show up, I will ask them myself." It sounded very much like Professor Slughorn being stubborn.

His Professor's almost kind words sat with him for the rest of the weekend and the start of the week until he stepped into the Defence classroom and his confidence took a nosedive. Sitting up the back he was joined by Draco, it seemed the blonde would do this when he had the chance, especially in settings such as this one. Sure, the other two Slytherin's were in this class also but they were already established at the front of the room.

"We worked on shields last time." His new roommate whispered and Harry was thankful he hadn't been there, he was still having issues with duelling and combat, something he hadn't quite covered off with his therapist.

"As with last week, we will start with theory and move on to practical. We covered shielding last week, so I expect you to use those shields when we move on to practising various ways to disarm them."

Harry couldn't think of anything worse than this, shields and disarming, it all seemed so basic even though he knew why it was like this. He scanned the pages they had been told to open and proceeded to zone out for the next hour. Hearing the man dribble on about various applications of disarming only made him think of how he managed to work his way around Voldemort. There were more than just ways with a wand to get through someone's' blocks and so he noted them down in the margins of his text book.

He was so caught up in his own learning that he didn't realise they were going to move on from reading. He stared down at the pages in his book, flicking over to find the next chapter when he heard his name being yelled from a few meters away. Snapping out of his daze he lifted his head to find himself staring down the length of his Professor's thirteen inch wand and immediately his vision distorted. Believing that he was standing in the Great Hall, his wand pointed at his Potion's Professor come Headmaster, he was up and out of his seat immediately, his own wand raised in defence. His heart was racing and his anger was fuelled, ready for an attack standing in his duelling stance.

Out of Harry's mind however, and back in the classroom the students stood around watching. Hermione recognised what was happening and slowly started approaching her friend, having dealt with this regularly over the past few months.

"Harry?" She called his attention in a calm voice and then went to stand in front of him, putting her hand on his wrist to make him lower his wand.

"It's okay, you're in a safe place." She placated him slowly and watched as his gaze came back into focus and he looked at her.

Harry looked around the room and found everyone watching him with either surprised or blank faces. He dared to look at Draco who was deep in thought, his brow softening like it did when the two of them were alone together. His Professor on the other hand seemed to be thinking and Harry found that he didn't want to be under this scrutiny any longer and reached for his bag panicking.

"You're shaking." She commented softly and glanced over her shoulder, silently imploring their Defence Professor to let her leave with him, to which he gave a small nod and she took Harry's elbow.

Severus knew the signs of trauma and whatever his Slytherin thought he'd seen had definitely tricked him into believing he was somewhere else. When the door closed behind the two teenagers, he moved his hand and looked at his wand curiously before addressing the class to find a pair and practice what they had been going over. Whilst they organised themselves, he slipped into his office and found his owl waiting for him on a perch. Penning a quick note, he tied it to the leg of his owl and watched it fly away through the window, it was addressed to the Headmistress.

Out in the corridor, Harry crumbled to the ground and Hermione went with him, looking both ways to ensure they were alone. She wasn't sure what he thought he'd seen but the immediate reaction to having a wand pointed at him, even if it was for instructional purposes, clearly suggested that it threatened him. She wasn't going to ask, she'd learnt early on with these incidents that he wouldn't answer or would get anger so instead she sat with him and rubbed his back.

The Slytherin was on the verge of tears, his heart beat wildly in his chest and his body shook. He didn't know what had come over him, one minute he was deep in thought and the next he was staring at the end of a wand. He wanted to get away, wanted the darkness that weighed on his shoulders to disappear, for the pain to leave.

He was grateful that he had a friend like Hermione, even though her attention was mostly on Ron these days, it was still nice to know that she was there for him. They were all there for each other, but unlike over the break, it didn't fill him with comfort and warmth like it had. He figured it was because his two best friends were now together. But for the moment he was going to hold onto the safe feeling until he felt confident to get up and walk away.

.

Harry was surprised that no one came to talk to him about his episode in Defence class over the week. In fact, none of his Professor's really spoke to him until he bumped into Professor Slughorn when he was heading to the Great Hall. The man gave him a knowing smile and blocked his path in the door way, so he stopped and gave the man a no-nonsense expression as he waited for the inevitable.

"You were at the meeting last week, I expect to be seeing you at Quidditch trials. It would be a great personal honour to have you on the team." His positivity didn't faze the Slytherin, and he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Sir, I have no desire to play Quidditch this year whether it be for Gryffindor or Slytherin." At that, he tried to get past the man but found his path blocked once more.

"You know, Regulus Black was – "

"Listen, I'm not interested okay?" He raised his voice and stormed off to sit across from Draco who was alone, he wasn't going to bow to the man for 'collection' this time round.

Draco watched as their Potion's Professor dithered about and seemed to want to say something else but decided not to and made his way to the head table. The blonde sighed and shook his head in disbelieved resignation, he too had been bailed up earlier and had turned the man down. He wondered if Harry's reason was the same as his.

"He asked me also." Draco commented.

"I heard him speaking to Professor Snape, he'll ask Blaise too."

"What were they saying?" The blondes interest was piqued.

"Our Head of House believes that we should be focussing on other aspects of our lives than Quidditch." Harry felt a shudder run down his spine when he said it.

"I see." Draco pushed his food around for a moment before continuing, "What else did he say?" Cautiously, his grey eyes connected with green of his classmate but shrugged off his interest.

"That I bet you on more than one occasion and that you wouldn't stand a chance." He smiled down at his plate waiting for the bite and it came when he felt peas hitting his forehead.

"Tosser." Draco smirked down at his plate and the two shared an amused moment together with Harry picking up the stray peas that rolled across the table.

"Need I even waste breath in telling you I was correct." Severus mused as Horace came to join the table.

"A strapping young lad such as Harry has so much potential. It's a shame to see him waste it by not doing anything constructive." Both the Headmistress and Severus turned to look at the man as if he had lost his mind. They then shared a look between themselves that meant they would be meeting later to discuss some matters however, in the mean time they remained silent.

When dinner was finished, Harry broke off from Draco and headed down a dimly lit corridor, not in the direction of the Slytherin common room. Curious as to where the ex-Gryffindor was going during the day he followed him where they ended up on the seventh floor. Harry had become addicted to sitting in the silence, letting peace wash over him for those brief moments in the day. It was as if the room was still functional and would create this space for him, even though it wasn't hidden, it just knew what he needed and provided tranquillity.

The blonde gave it a few minutes before he went to check the door, he too initially surprised that the doors were no longer hidden when he first saw them but after a beat it made complete sense. This room had been through a lot and yet, something always made his classmate come here. Slowly pushing on the door, he carefully went inside and looked around, only to find Harry sitting on the stone floor staring towards the window.

"So, this is where you've been coming." He said as a way of announcing himself.

"It's peaceful." Harry replied and didn't mind when the Slytherin sat down next to him, facing the same window.

"And you just sit here?"

"No, sometimes I fall asleep in the sun." Harry replied wistfully and fiddled with his shoe lace, "Why are _you_ here?"

"Curiosity."

They were silent for a while, letting time tick by without interruption from anything outside of the space they were in when Harry decided to disclose the real reason he stumbled over the space.

"I actually first came here to see if anything survived the fire."

"And it was like this?" Draco pondered and Harry nodded.

"A friend left something in here… I wanted to see if it would still be around."

"It wasn't?"

"No." Harry closed his eyes and let his head hang, he wanted that book back, anything just to feel something again.

"Can it be replaced?" Draco turned his head to assess his classmate and saw the pained expression behind his bangs.

"No." Harry repeated and slowly lowered himself backwards so he was laying on the floor.

It wasn't cold as he had first thought, it crossed his mind the floor might have been heated for them but he tossed out that idea and went for a logical one such as, the suns warmth still resided in the stone. Out of his peripheral he could see Draco shuck off his robe and roll it up, the teen then joined him on the floor and he focussed his attention on the ceiling. From that point he wasn't sure how long they were there for, but all he knew was that when he rolled over to get away from the light shining on his face he realised that it was morning.

When he became fully conscious, he grumbled and stretched out his body. The clicks and groans were considerably worse after having spent the night on the floor and with one eye blinking rapidly to adjust to the light he noticed he was alone. Draco must have disappeared throughout the night and he was annoyed that he hadn't woken him up.

"I wonder what the time is." He thought aloud and as if the clock tower had heard his question, chimed eight times in succession making him jump up and run to the door.

He was going to be late for class at this rate and even with dodgy ankles shooting pain up his legs, he made it to the second floor in record time. Taking a moment outside the door to compose himself, he took a deep breath and gently pushed on the door only to find an empty room beyond it. He was positive he had Transfiguration first thing and walked in just to make sure everyone weren't hiding from him. They weren't and he backed up, closing the door behind him and looking about.

"Potter, you're up early this morning and may I ask why you are in your school robes?" Professor Flitwick was hobbling down the corridor towards him and immediately Harry questioned what day it was.

"Saturday. Dear me, someone has a case of the sleeps this morning." He chuckled to himself and continued his merry way making Harry toss his head back and search the roof for a plausible reason why he'd forgotten.

If it was just after eight, then he was certainly up early for a Saturday and that meant he would still be in good time for breakfast, however the idea of walking into the hall with his uniform on wasn't the kind of attention he wanted to draw, so decided on a detour to the Dungeons first.

When he did, every possible person he could have done without seeing he managed to walk past which included most of the Slytherin house and majority of Hufflepuff, three Professor's and that wasn't including his own Head of House he almost collided with as he rounded the final corner. He had almost made it without having been ridiculed and the very last person he wanted to see managed to find him. If there was ever a moment he wanted to evaporate into the cracks in the stone floor it was definitely now.

"Potter." Severus acknowledged when he saw the teen, mainly out of surprise at having met the boy in the corridor, not even taking note of his appearance until he started walking away.

"Potter?" He called and they both turned to face each other, ample distance between them to not feel intimidated.

"Yes, sir. I did forget it was Saturday and no, I do not intend to wear my robes all day."

Standing still and not saying a word, Severus watched as his Slytherin spun around and stormed into the common room. He had clearly not been to bed, or if he had slept he hadn't been asleep in his own bed. Judging by the disgusting state of his crumpled uniform he hadn't been sleeping with another person, but then again, he didn't think that in the boy's ill frame of mind that that was something he even considered. Whatever the reason, he felt it prudent to inform the Headmistress as he still didn't feel comfortable approaching the brunette about, quite frankly, anything.

Draco was snacking on some cereal when Harry came to sit in front of him and huffed. Too many people had seen him and the brief encounter with his Head of House had made him irritated and flustered.

"What time did you leave?" Harry growled as he snatched a piece of toast as it floated past.

"About an hour after you fell asleep. You looked too precious to wake." Draco sat there with a smug expression that only irritated Harry further.

"Well, thanks to you not waking me, I forgot it was the weekend, bumped into every person in this place that laughed and pointed out the fact it was Saturday and that I was in my uniform – "

"Well, nothing – "

"I'm not finished. Then the very last person –" He lowered his voice, "– I wanted to see, Professor Snape, has the gaul to give me his _you're an idiot_ glare just as I make the common room."

"Are you done?"

"Yes." Harry sighed, dropped his shoulders and let both arms rest on the table either side of his plate.

"Good, because you have mail and jam on your face." Draco said pointing to the letter beside him.

Frowning and hastily wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his jumper, Harry reached for the letter, took one look at the wax seal and ripped it to shreds all whilst Draco watched with interest. He had seen this happen with two previous letters and he wondered who was trying to contact him that he didn't want to even read what they wrote. It wasn't his business to ask and so he said nothing, instead gave his classmate a raised eyebrow before looking away to show he was interested by wouldn't touch the matter. Instead he changed the subject.

"Quidditch trials are today."

"They are." Harry replied.

"So, are you going to go?" Draco pushed but received a glare.

"Absolutely not."

"Oh, okay." Draco replied ambivalently but Harry wasn't in the mood for mind games and wanted a straight answer.

"Why?" The brunette's voice was exasperated but he was made to wait a few moments as if Draco was trying to work out how best to say it.

"I was going to watch, no try out. Thought you might like to join me if you're not doing anything else."

"Oh," Harry said surprised, "All right then." He gave the teen a small smile and then they both went silent.

The sun had come out by the time the teens made it out to the Quidditch pitch and they went up the stands to find a reasonably secluded area to watch from. There were a group of Slytherin's down below that were huddled around and Professor Slughorn was talking to them animatedly. Harry rolled his eyes and looked off into the distance, not paying attention for now until they started flying.

"What are _they_ doing here?" Draco grumbled and Harry turned to face where Draco was looking, following his eyeline over to the adjacent stand.

There, dressed in red and gold, was a large group of Gryffindor's and he could make out the unmistakable mop of red hair in the middle of them. Hermione was there also standing next to him, looking very uncomfortable and figured that Ron had made her come out with him. Ron hadn't mentioned anything to him about Quidditch this year and he wondered if he would be trying out for the Gryffindor's.

"Where's Blaise?" Harry asked as he thought about other trials and he saw Draco pointing down to the pitch.

"He said he'd only be on the team on a mentoring and coaching capacity. He wouldn't be playing or flying at all."

"And Professor Slughorn agreed?"

"Didn't have much of a choice, he could either take it or leave it. Mainly he's there to guide the fourth-year student who's been named Captain."

It made sense, not that Harry would have offered Gryffindor the same if he was in Blaise's situation. He didn't particularly want anything to do with it at all because he knew that the moment he touched a broom he'd miss it and want to join. But to do that he would need to overcome the fear and anxiety of touching a broom, mounting it and not having flashbacks.

The Slytherin's finally made it to the air, Harry was leaning forward with his elbows propped on his thighs so he could watch and Draco leant back, pulling something from his pocket and rustling it. Harry looked back at the blonde and found him offering an opened white paper bag that was filled with red twisted confectionary. He'd seen these before and not wanting to be rude he took one and took a bite, it was raspberry liquorice with a hint of apple flavoring and tasted delicious.

When Draco snorted, he was looking at the player who had the number seven written across his back and bit back a smile.

"No form." The blonde muttered, popping another piece of liquorice in his mouth, "He looks so rigid, he'll never make the tight turn." He continued and sure enough when the Snitch darted off in the other direction the third year smash straight into the seating.

Harry chewed thoughtfully on the chew and huffed his amusement at the situation he found himself in. He'd always thought that Draco was a poser, someone who was able to get their way because his father had money but the way he was continuing on about broom positioning and body language reminded Harry that he knew a thing or two about Quidditch.

"Why did you _really_ join the Quidditch team in second year?" Harry asked, leaning back so he was in line with his classmate.

"Father wanted me to. He didn't like that you were on the Gryffindor team. Boy, the controversy in our first year when Snape saved you, that was ugly." Draco was relaxed and laid back as he spoke, watching his team fly around them.

"How do you know about that?" Harry sat up and turned to the blonde.

"It was a contentious topic in our family." He shrugged and looked away but Harry wasn't going to let up and Draco rolled his head back in a dramatic sigh.

"You have skeletons, Potter, I have skeletons. How about we leave it at that?"

Harry nodded and they both went back to watching fools fly around the pitch. Hermione made an appearance by them later in the practice but stood off to the side until Harry noticed her and motioned for her to joined them. She looked apprehensive for a moment when Draco looked at her but when he offered her the white bag, she smiled and sat with them, enjoying her favourite candy.

"Where's Ron?" Harry asked.

"He's with the Gryffindor's. They've assigned him as Captain."

"I thought he'd want to give Quidditch a miss this year." Harry thought out loud.

"Now that you're not in Gryffindor, a lot of the older year levels are joining because you're not there." She winced when his face turned sad and he sat forward again, looking at his shoes. "You were an amazing Captain, Harry. But a lot of people were intimidated by you." She continued and he closed his eyes, feeling shame spreading through his chest.

He stood and climbed up a row before walking off, Draco watching him from over his shoulder and Hermione went to go and follow him but was stopped when she was told not to. Looking to the blonde she asked why but he shook his head and told her to leave it, that it was the last thing he needed was someone trying to smooth things over.

"Just enjoy the show." He finished, pointing to a girl who face planted into the ground and he let an uncharacteristically dark chuckle out.

Harry went to the seventh floor to think things through, slipping into the Room of Requirement slowly and feeling the stress melt away. On top of everything that he had to deal with, he now learns that he restricted people from doing the things they wanted, the things they loved just because of who he was. That seemed unfair and cruel. It made him wonder why no one told him this sooner or why he didn't pick up on it. Disappointment surrounded him and the darkness wrapped around his mind like a snake, blacking out all the good he had done.

He sunk to the floor, looking out of the window as the sun shone through and wondered if these feelings would ever start to fade.

A noise from just beyond the door roused him, there usually wasn't anyone about on the seventh floor, especially not at this time of the day so he stayed still and tried to ignore it. His ears pricked up when he thought he could hear his name and cautiously stood, straining his ears to see if it was a coincidence. When he heard his name again he went to the door and opened it to find no one there and frowned, then dread set in when he thought about the times he'd heard voices as they were never a good sign.

"Over here."

Harry looked at the painting across from the door and saw the Headmaster standing next to a hippo, leaning against it casually. He looked both ways and then crossed the corridor to stand closer, wondering what the Headmaster was doing there.

"Sir?"

"You come here a lot." The man said and Harry narrowed his eyes.

"You've been following me?" Harry asked cautiously.

"No, my friend Harold has been." He patted the fat neck of the hippo and smiled broadly.

"Right." The brunette was unconvinced and was about to walk away, he still had mixed emotions about his ex-Headmaster.

"Why do you come here, Harry? What are you looking for?"

How could Harry verbalise his desires, they all sounded so petty and small. How could he come out and tell the man what he wanted most was memories of the past and happier times? That for once he wished to be able to control some element of his existence? He didn't see a way and it appeared to the Headmaster that he could use some help.

"What brings you happiness?" The man tried again and watched as Harry let the smallest smile tug at his lips.

"Memories, sir." He replied, "But none that I can retrieve." He was now referring to something that didn't necessarily bring him joy but perhaps security.

Glancing up at the picture, the Headmaster had his meddling expression firmly in place and Harry only hoped that it would be to his favour, not that he was expecting anything from his old Headmaster. He was in a portrait after all.

"The Headmistress leaves her office for the night at exactly ten o'clock."

"What?" Harry didn't know what he was referring to.

"The penseive is where it's always hidden."

"Sir, what are you suggesting? That I break into her office and do what? Look at her memories?" Admittedly the Slytherin was shocked and didn't hide it.

"Not hers. _His_. Professor Snape's." Harry opened and shut his mouth several times, thinking back to the day he was caught viewing memories he shouldn't have, "I know the ones you want, they are still within the penseive. She has not used it."

Harry knew then what memories he was meaning. The ones that his Professor had given him on that fateful night, the one where they both should have died but lived to tell no one about. He saw his mother, his father. He saw happiness and pain. But it was a powerful memory to dredge back up, he wasn't sure if he could even go through with it.

"I will ensure the door is unlocked. Good luck." And just like that the Headmaster wandered out of the portrait to Merlin knows where.

Staring at the hippo, who Harry believed wasn't actually named Harold like the Headmaster told him, he examined the reasons why he should go through with this. If the Headmistress was going to leave each night at the same time, that would allow him to watch the memories, he would keep them on him at all times so he could feel like his mother was a part of him and no one had to know. They would just look like a vial of some silvery substance that he carried on his person, almost like a potion. It could be his secret, something that he could control. Yes, he was going to do this and only for himself, no one else.

When it was dinner time, Harry walked into the hall feeling torn, seeing Hermione and Ron sitting together with a few others and Draco sitting by himself. Something about what Hermione had said to him earlier that day still didn't sit well with him and so he decided that he would join his fellow Slytherin.

He missed the hurt look his Ravenclaw friend showed as he did this, not that he intentionally wanted to hurt her, he just didn't want to be that person who brought the tone down in the group. Draco didn't seem to mind with his joining and even struck up conversation about their new Transfiguration Professor as they ate.

Minerva was sitting at the head table waiting for her colleague to arrive as she had something she wished to discuss but as time ticked on she grew steadily more impatient. It concerned Harry Potter and without wanting to be the person who dealt with the matter, her Defence Professor wasn't making it easy to step back. Whilst it had been talked about in general terms, no one knew exactly what had happened that night between her student and staff member with both parties remaining very tight lipped over it.

Whatever had happened, the two of them refused to come near each other and whilst her predecessor continually reassured her that this was the place both of them needed to be she was finding it difficult to see how. News from outside of Hogwarts concerning Harry however had come as a surprise, which is what she needed to discuss with her deputy. Fed up with waiting, she decided a trip to the man's office was in order and she excused herself quietly.

Severus was sitting back in his chair, staring at the door frame when a knock interrupted him and he sat up straight, expecting it to be a student. When Minerva walked through the door, his face changed and he picked up a quill under the pretence that he was busy but she saw straight through it immediately.

"I know you're not busy, Severus. No need to pretend with me." She poised her lips and gave him a pointed glance

"What can I do for you Headmistress?" He sighed, placing his quill down and pointing to a seat.

"I have come to discuss matters relating to one, Mr. Harry Potter." She replied, taking the offered seat and sitting straight.

"Please, Minerva, can this not wait another," He leaned over to check the time, "Seven hours, it is still the weekend."

"Oh, stop being dramatic, Severus." She snapped, "I am here in regard to the incident that you brought to my attention last week in class."

"Ah, and?"

"I received an owl from a Wizard in London, a Dr. Daniel Fletcher, who expressed his concern for Harry."

"And this Doctor would be?" Severus asked in a bored tone.

"Harry Potter's therapist." She replied seriously, and at this Severus gave her his full attention, "He has been working with Harry for the past five months and was even insistent that he return to Hogwarts this year to deal with some underlying issues. However, upon his request he had asked that they continue their sessions via mail. As you can imagine, the reason I have heard from Dr. Fletcher is because this is not happening."

Severus saw that she had an envelope in her hands, the wax seal intact.

"Harry is ill, Severus and we have a duty to ensure he is safe."

"Minerva, I'm sorry but I cannot help him." Severus stood and placed his hands on the edge of the table.

"What happened to you out there, hmm? The war changed us all but I have never seen you act this distant towards one individual and, yes, I am aware that Harry used to provoke you but now it appears that even a mention of your name sends him into a nauseous wreck."

Severus scoffed to himself, a nauseous wreck seemed a little farfetched but there was no reason for the Headmistress to be lying. He supposed that because he had been so caught up in trying to stay away from the boy himself, he hadn't realised that they were actually doing the same thing. He wasn't going to entertain the Witch about what happened on the night he was supposed to die, that was none of her business and he sure as hell wasn't about to bring up those memories. He and Harry were not meant to see each other after that moment.

"What am I supposed to do then?" He sighed and looked up at her.

"Talk to him. Please, Severus. Just talk." She implored him and toyed with the envelope.

Walking over to the window, Severus looked out over the grounds and caught sight of the whomping willow swatting at some birds. He didn't know even the first thing he could say to the boy and it wasn't as if he was getting into trouble that he could warrant a meeting with him.

"I suppose I could chat to him about what happened the other day." He offered but spoke to the window.

"Considering your class will be based on combat and duelling, I would agree that it would be the best place to begin." Standing she went to leave but thought better of it and addressed her colleague. "This is a letter for Harry, perhaps you could do me a favour and deliver it to him?"

"Leave it on my desk." He replied, still not looking at her and when the door shut he leaned against the wall with his arms folded.


	4. Chapter 4

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 _ **Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.**_

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Armed with his wand and invisibility cloak, Harry waited around the corner from the Headmistresses office, getting there just before ten o'clock to make sure he saw her leave. He didn't even know why he was doing this, roaming about the castle and getting into trouble was something he would have freely done before the war but now it just made no sense. Actually, the prospect of getting caught made his stomach tighten uncomfortably.

When the gargoyle moved he saw her appear, covering a yawn as she turned and walked down the corridor. Taking that opportunity, she hadn't even made it to the first corner when he ducked behind the gargoyle just before he closed the entrance and waited, holding his breath. When it was clear she wasn't coming back, he tip toed up the stairs and found himself standing in front of the wooden door. Unsure if he would just be able to open it or need a password, he stood there debating what to do when he heard it click and open a crack.

Fearing that she was coming back he pressed himself flat against the wall, but when he didn't hear any movements, he pushed the door and it swung open. The office was empty and dark but he knew where he was going; over the years of being in this office he had almost memorised its contents and went straight over to the penseive. It revealed itself naturally, just as it did the last time and he peered into the bowl shape, seeing black swirls calling him in. Did he really want to go back into these memories? Or was it just the idea of being able to hold and control who saw them that had him so tempted to take them.

"Harry?" Dumbledore called from his portrait and it gave him a fright, thinking he had been caught.

"Sir?" He asked unsurely and walked up the steps to be closer, his heart beaing fiercely.

"Remember, Harry. What I said to you in your first year at Hogwarts." His voice was serious and Harry shook his head as if not remembering what piece of brilliant wisdom he was referring to.

"It does not do to dwell on dreams – "

"And forget to live." Harry finished and nodded solemnly.

He knew what the late Headmaster was referring to as he once felt lost in the hopes that he could be with his parents once again. Well, he knew a way to see them, to talk to them, but like in the tale of the Deathly Hallows, it did not satisfy just to talk. There was limited comfort in that, what he needed was to feel again.

Going back to the penseive, he looked at the bottles of memories that the Headmaster had left behind and found an empty one for him to use. Taking a deep calming breath, he scooped out the memory into the bottle and sealed it shut. Looking at the now silvery substance in the vial he felt something bloom in his chest but he knew he shouldn't stick around and bent down to collect his cloak.

Glancing up at the portrait of the late Headmaster, he grew cautious. A man he had once trusted so explicitly had, in the end, decieved him. Whilst he couldn't deny the protection he'd gained was what kept him alive, it didn't mean that he had completely forgiven the grey Wizard. Professor Snape's words echoed in his mind, _pig for slaughter_ , so much had changed. He didn't say anything to the old Wizard sitting helplessly in the portrait and instead snuck out.

Stepping out into the corridor, he slipped the cloak over himself and started to head back to the Dungeons. It was a quiet night, and the warm breeze whistled lazily through the exterior corridors which made for a comfortable walk. He was just enjoying the quiet and the peace, taking a moment to stand in a window and look at the moon when he heard the shuffling of feet and the abrupt movement of his cloak being ripped off.

"After everything that happened and you managed to keep track of _this_." Severus mused, slipping the soft cloak carefully over his forearm.

Harry didn't know what to say, he hadn't been expecting to run into anyone tonight apart from the Headmistress, so to be in such close proximity with his Head of House, his anxiety kicked in quickly.

"I think I'll be confiscating it." He continued and they made eye contact.

"I'll head back to the common room then." Harry said awkwardly and went to step backwards to get some space between them, his head was still buzzing from the prize in his pocket.

"Actually, Potter. I have something for you in my office." Severus figured this was a good a time as any to pass on whatever it was the Headmistress needed to give him.

Given it was a Sunday evening and they were out extremely late, neither of them seemed to be bothered and walked in silence to the Defence classroom. Harry noted with amusement that the dinosaur skeleton had been re-erected and hung precariously from the ceiling but his laughter was contained deep within him. It was the first time he'd actually taken a proper look at the classroom since he'd been back even though they'd had several classes.

When he stepped into his Professor's office, he stayed by the door and put his hands in his pockets, rolling the vial between his fingers as he waited to be addressed with whatever he was being given. When the man turned around, he handed him a letter sealed with the school crest and Harry swallowed with nervousness.

"The Headmistress wished me to pass that on." Severus said as way of explanation and Harry nodded, not looking up as he heard footsteps walking around the office.

When he did look up, he saw his cloak folded neatly on top of pile behind the man's desk and wondered if he would ever see his precious cloak again. It had seen him well, getting him out of a lot of sticky situations and allowing him to gather intel on various conspiracies when he was in his younger years at school. It was really the only link he had left to his father, and felt very sorry to have to part with it. Still standing in the doorway, Harry bit his lip and fidgeted awkwardly, wishing that he could go and be left alone.

"May I go, sir?" He managed to say and with a hesitated nod he was granted permission.

"Potter?" Harry had only made the first step down when he heard his name being called and he begrudgingly turned around and stood in the doorway with his feet firmly planted further apart than necessary looking tired.

Severus stood in front of his desk and took a moment to compose his thoughts before speaking. There was a lump in his throat, so quickly attempting to clear it, he coughed and cleared his throat.

"What happened in class the other day, it is understandable."

Harry looked at him blankly, his heartbeat increasing.

"You are entitled to have these… moments." Severus really had no idea what he was supposed to say, he would have been content in not having to speak to the teen at all.

"It won't happen again." Harry replied shortly and Severus folded his arms with his own short glare.

"Yes, Potter it will and if you are too stubborn to admit it the least you could do is talk to someone about these issues." It was clear that the reason Harry had stopped speaking to his therapist was because he didn't want to deal with the issues and wanted to push them aside.

"Are we done?" Harry snapped and the last of Severus's composure disintegrated.

"No, ten points from Slytherin for being out after curfew and you can see Professor Slughorn for detention tomorrow evening."

"Fine."

Severus closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he leaned back along the front of his desk. He wasn't entirely sure how he had expected the conversation to go but he knew that this hadn't been successful. At least now he knew for a fact that the only way the teen was going to get better was to speak with someone about whatever it was going on inside his head. This leniency or watchful eye that he would be extending to his student wasn't going to be for him, it was going to be for everyone that was around the brunette because he fully believed that at some point someone was going to get hurt. When that happened, he would have the boy kicked out of Hogwarts, he wasn't going to stand for Potter's insolence any longer.

When the morning rolled round, Harry groaned and rolled out of bed. The unopened letter fell on the floor as his covers moved and he stared at it down at his feet. Not feeling in the mood to deal with what the Headmistress had to say he opened the drawer on his bedside table and threw it in before getting ready for the day. He noticed Draco watching him from his own bed but he made no move to acknowledge the blonde until he had at least had some sour orange juice or a wiff of coffee to wake him up.

"Where did you go last night?" Unfortunately, Harry wasn't blessed with his wishes and with his bag in hand he addressed his roommate.

"Went for a walk." He lied, walking out the door.

"At ten o'clock?"

"Had leg cramps." Harry snapped and walked off.

He went to sit with Hermione on this morning to get away from probing Slytherin's and was joined by Ron and some of Gryffindor a few minutes later. He could feel the looks he was getting from the others and tried to focus on his breakfast but he was beginning to feel self-conscious when their talking stopped. Glancing around the group, Seamus made a signal to Ron and they both looked to him with apprehension.

"What is it?"

"Ron." Hermione said in a warning tone.

"Did Slytherin not want you in their team this year?" The red head blurted out and Harry's expression immediately changed to one of outrage.

"I decided not to play."

"So, it wasn't through lack of talent? Because, we know the Slytherin's are just bullies on the pitch." Seamus commented and Harry's mouth dropped, he couldn't believe he was hearing this.

"You think I can't handle it?" Harry accused them and Seamus nodded.

"Well, let's be honest, Harry. Snape didn't exactly attack you with his wand the other day did he? You made it all up, perhaps they finally see that you're mad." Seamus continued and Harry had to stand up.

"What I do this year doesn't concern any of you. If I don't feel like playing Quidditch then I won't! I hope you lose terribly to Slytherin." And with that he walked off to class.

He sat by himself in class that morning, and chose to stay clear away from and Gryffindor students during the day. He hadn't had to speak with anyone, including Draco, until he reached the common room after classes and went to the dormitory. Climbing across his bed, he pulled the letter from his drawer and sat on the bed, tossing in between his fingers, he was admittedly nervous as to what it read and almost considered putting it back to read later. It was only going to delay the inevitable so he carefully pulled away the wax seal and slipped the letter out, unfolding the parchment.

 _Mr. Harry Potter,_

 _I received word from Dr. Fletcher who has expressed his concern through your lack of communication. He has written to me as way of reaching out to you and provided evidence which supports your need to respond to his owls._

 _Harry, I implore you to seek help for your Post Traumatic symptoms. This does not make you a lesser man by accepting help after the incidents that have snowballed over the past seven years._

 _Please accept his help, he has your best interests at heart, as do I. Should you refuse his help then you give me no choice but to intervene, not only for your safety but for the safety of others around you._

 _Professor Snape is available should you require him and should you feel it essential, my door is open to you._

 _Yours,_

 _Minerva McGonagall_

 _Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy_

Letting his hand drop into his lap with the letter he felt numb and the sensation clawed its way through his body before he fell back onto the bed in total despair. This was an official summons, the Headmistress wouldn't have written this in a letter if it weren't of great importance and to have his therapist contact the woman left him extremely exposed. What else had he disclosed to her about what he was experiencing? Was there any point where she decided that this matter would be spoken about to his Head of House? Everything pointed to this being the case and his interaction with Professor Snape the night prior had to of been a result of chatting to his Headmistress.

It left a bad taste in his mouth and now he had to deal with his detention. Regretting having read the letter before his detention, he shoved it back in the drawer hastily and mindlessly wandered through the common room towards his Potion's classroom. Professor Slughorn was bent over a cauldron brewing when he arrived and was instructed to sit over by the corner table. He wasn't alone as a fellow Slytherin, third year, was sitting there already but the teen didn't make any move to communicate with him. Something that sat extremely well at that moment.

"I haven't got anything for you to do, so you can sit there and think about why you are here." Slughorn called from across the room and Harry put his arms on the table, burying his head in them as he waited out the time.

Professor Snape invaded the majority of his thoughts as he sat there, his stomach twisting and knotting as he imagined him speaking with the Headmistress about his issues. If the man felt exposed for giving up his most precious memories to Harry then he considered them equals now. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the vial and inspected the contents as it swirled around the glass tube. He had half a mind to break into the Headmistress's office just so he could watch them one more time, however he believed that if he were to watch them, they would be the last as his luck didn't seem to be on his side. A little bit of liquid luck would have been perfect for that but he didn't know where he could get any more. After having found the potion in a textbook when Professor Slughorn had first come back to teach he shut it quickly knowing that there was no way he would ever have the skills to brew it. Slughorn had been right, it was extremely tricky and probably the reason no one he knew had ever attempted it.

Back to the issues at hand however, he wasn't going to be writing to his therapist anytime soon. He hated going to those sessions from the beginning and was only due to Hermione's insistence and persistence that he went out and did it. Now that they were at school he could very much lie and say that he was cured or that he was in correspondence with his doctor and Hermione would never know. Too bad the Headmistress wouldn't be fooled. Being in separate houses was proving to work in his favour, he didn't feel crowded all the time and get the sense that he was being watched. He didn't have to put up with Ron's incredibly stubborn and unintelligent ramblings nor Hermione's badgering about homework and study. He still missed them terribly, especially Hermione but it was nice to have some space.

Harry lifted his head off the table and exchanged a strange expression with the other Slytherin before both looking over to their Professor as a foul odor started to spread across the classroom. Whatever the man was brewing either had an extremely pungent scent or it hadn't gone to plan. Regardless, they were promptly dismissed and they both ran from the classroom with their mouths covered.

.

The next time Harry had Defence, he spent the morning preparing himself and running through a few strategies to ensure he didn't have an episode again. He didn't think his pride had much holding itself together, threads were probably the best way to describe how it felt and he certainly didn't want to give his Head of House or Headmistress anything to further gossip about when they talked about him.

They were going to be further extending upon shields on this lesson which was something felt he could handle rather proficiently. His go to was _Protego_ and the ever-so-handy _Expelliarmus_ that he had learnt from none other than Professor Snape in his second year. It had gotten him through the crux of his fight with Voldemort and believed it was the best he had.

"Pair up." Severus stood in front of his desk and watched his students wander about slowly, "Today would be excellent." He barked and they got their acts together.

"Are you going to be alright with this?" Draco and Harry stood up the back standing next to each other and the blonde leaned towards him, whispering in his ear.

"I'll be fine, let's just do it." Harry replied and they stood a few feet apart, their wands aimed at each other.

This was the first time he had done this in class with Draco and it certainly felt weird not having their wands aimed at each other to kill. It was comical to both Slytherin's and both let smirks appear before looking away from the other students. Harry started with testing his classmates shields and wasn't disappointed when all were deflected with ease, so he decided to up the stakes and send some of the more unfriendly ones he'd learnt hoping that it would be returned. Whilst Draco was surprised at first, he focussed and seemed to be enjoying the test.

Severus watched his Slytherin's at the back, impressed they were taking initiative to increase the difficulty unlike the others he was watching. His ex-housemates looked as though they could up the pressure and in the corner Parkinson was sending bubble attacks towards Longbottom. Taking a long deep breath, the man looked to the ceiling and folded his arms across his chest in an attempt to let his temper settle before he said anything more but it was difficult.

"Alright, switch." He ordered and Harry stepped back into a natural standing pose.

There were the customary light hexes and Harry went through the shields that they had been going through in class but wanted to change it up. Shielding was all well and good but so was jumping or ducking out of the way. Unfortunately, the space wasn't wide enough for him to do such a thing so he instead went about changing the angles in which he blocked the curses. Draco realised what he was doing and instead of aiming for where Harry's chest would have been he tried the head, knee, feet.

"Is that all you've got?" Harry called and Draco gritted his teeth, enjoying the exercise immensely.

" _Expelliarmus_." The blonde called and Harry matched it so their wands connected in a fierce battle of will and power.

Severus stood upright and the other students were stopping to watch as the connection between the Slytherin's wands caused small sparks to erupt at the middle. Whilst he was pleased that they were actually taking the class seriously, it was supposed to be shielding and attacking, not disarming, so he stepped forward and waved his wand. Both wands flew out of the teens hands and the spell backfired towards them, sending their bodies backwards and onto the floor.

"Impressive, but not what we are focussing on today. Potter, Malfoy, you may get your wands back after class and in the meantime find the section of your textbooks that define shielding. The rest of you, continue." Severus held the two wands tightly and placed them on his desk before wandering around the others.

Dusting themselves off, Draco and Harry grabbed their books and sulked for the rest of the class. Harry had actually started to have fun, not that he would admit that to anyone straight away and glanced up at their Professor to glare at him. Okay, so no it wasn't what they had been supposed to be doing but up until that point they had been so why did they have to stop?

"I enjoyed that." Draco whispered but the brunette didn't respond, instead he let his lips form a small smile.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang that made the two Slytherins jump in their seats and looking up it appeared Seamus still hadn't let go of his ability to make the strangest things explode and from his wand this time. It was at this point that the class was cut short and an essay set for them to complete before next class. Being dismissed, Draco made his way up to the front whilst Harry remained seated, hoping that his classmate would come back baring both wands.

"Mr. Potter, I require both of you." Severus called and saw the irritation on his face before he hesitantly joined his house mate.

"I don't understand what the two of you are up to, but I would appreciate it if you would stick to the curriculum and do as you are told."

"Yes, sir." Draco replied and Harry nodded.

"Mr. Potter, you may go. Malfoy, I require a further moment with you."

Harry took the offered wand in his hand tightly and without a second glance at the other two, left the classroom in a much happier mood than he had entered. Draco on the other hand followed his Professor towards his office and when the door shut took a seat in front of the man's desk.

"I see you have made a friend." Severus commented, sitting behind his desk.

"Friend?" Draco choked and folded his arms, he would never call Harry his friend, they just happened to be in the same house.

"You disagree? Certainly a lot of time is spent together." Severus continued and the blonde almost saw the glisten of hope in the mans eyes.

"We don't exactly share our deepest secrets, as I mentioned before." Draco replied defensively.

"Why not?" His Professor probed and Draco shifted in the seat, swallowing a lump in his throat.

"Sir, why is this important? I may not be happy at Hogwarts but it's not exactly difficult to be here."

Severus leaned back in his chair, Draco was clearly trying to play this off and he wasn't going to believe a word of it. For all the years he knew the boy, he had never really connected with anyone to the extent that he potentially could with Harry. Times had changed and whilst Severus didn't know the extent of each teen's struggles he knew on no uncertain terms that these two were the perfect match and could help each other adjust to a normal life after war.

"Because, Potter could use a friend, as could you." He replied bluntly and Draco made a noise as his face distorted in, not disgust exactly, but something unpleasant, "You needn't deny it, I can see past your bravado better than anyone but it is merely a suggestion."

"Was there anything else that you required me for, or are you going to continue questioning me about, Potter?" Draco replied, testily.

"You may go." Severus replied and refrained from removing points for the teen's attitude.

When the blonde left, Severus let out a breath. If he could support his newest Slytherin without actually having to speak with him then he would consider that a personal triumph. He knew that Harry didn't want to talk to him and he was happy with that but with the Headmistress breathing down his neck about the teen's wellbeing, it wasn't something he could ignore. He knew too well what it was like to be left struggling on your own without the support of those who understood.

The next morning, Draco walked into the Great Hall to see a mop of brunette hair bent over a long piece of parchment with his breakfast plate pushed aside and went to sit beside him. Before he sat, he looked up at the head table and made eye contact with their Head of House and pursed his lips as he slumped down next to his classmate.

"What's that?" He asked, helping himself to food.

"Defence." Harry replied before adding the finishing flourish of his signature at the bottom, "How's yours?" He asked, rolling up the parchment.

"Fine." Draco snipped but when he felt Harry's gaze he met his eye, "Haven't started." This was the truth, he hadn't quite gotten around to it after he spent the afternoon in the Room of Requirement, he wasn't going to tell him where he had been though.

Harry went to put the parchment in his bag but felt someones gaze on him, when he looked up his Head of House was staring at him and when he went to ask Draco what he had wanted after class the day before he found the two looking at each other. Harry definitely believed he was missing something and turned away from the head table to focus on a piece of toast he had let go cold. As he watched the school flow in and out of breakfast, he saw Hermione and Ron sitting alone together and embracing each other with a quick kiss and holding hands on the table. He felt bile rising in his throat and threw the piece of toast down, having to look away.

He didn't really think it was fair that the two of them had found solace with each other when he was left to deal with things on his own, even though at the start of the year he'd thought it great. It seemed that Draco was reacting the same to having witnessed the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor fraternisation and made a choking noise before looking down.

"Couldn't they find somewhere else to do that?" He muttered and Harry hummed in agreement.

Zoning out, Harry pulled the vial from his pocket and rolled it between his fingers, letting his thoughts carry him away. He snagged the string that had been secured around the Daily Prophet Draco had received and pocketed it for later.

Before he knew it, he had skated through the day and was walking towards the main entrance to sit outside in the cooling sun. Autumn was definitely in the air and he was able to reflect on its affects, the leaves turning brown or orange and falling to the ground. Sometimes he felt like a leaf that was withering away in a sea of students, no one there for him. Of course, he knew that wasn't true, there were a lot of people who cared about him but what he wanted the most was someone to understand.

He had only been there alone for half an hour when he heard the crunching of footsteps and found Draco wandering towards him. He woudn't deny that the company was okay, they never really talked anyway and it was good not to feel completely alone. But when he started to speak, Harry started to realise that perhaps they weren't so different after all.

"Do you ever wish we could have what they have?"

"Ron and Hermione?" Harry clarified.

"You used to be so close." Draco was picking at the grass as he said it.

"Yeah, well people like us don't get a normal life like that. We don't get to move on and find solace easily. We don't get that happily ever after." Harry sighed and picked at the grass also, more brutally than his housemate but was distracted when he thought he'd heard someone approaching.

"My father was arranging a marriage after I graduated." Harry's head whipped back round when he heard the admission.

"And then what?" Harry asked, pulling the vial and string from his pocket.

"Then happily ever after. Be a secret Deatheater, hold a Ministerial job. Exist." Draco watched as Harry started tying the vial with string. "What about you?"

Harry stopped what he was doing and heard twig snap from behind them but then turned back to what he was doing as he thought of an appropriate answer for the blonde. He had been incredibly honest and Harry wondered if being marked as a Deatheater was something he openly spoke about to others. He appeared not to have fit the mould of a typical Deatheater, as he seemed to actually have a conscience much like their Defence Professor but that was only something he found out when he watched the memories he had in his hands.

"I wasn't expected to survive." Harry admitted and whilst he had always dreamt of becoming an Auror, the past few years had changed his circumstance.

"The war?"

"I was raised to be the ultimate pawn in Dumbledore's plan. Like… Like _a pig raised for slaughter_. I was meant to die." He laughed darkly then became distant but continued, "But then again, no one knew how the war was going to end."

"That sounds awful." Draco admitted but Harry made no motion to acknowledge his words and they sat there for some time.

"Sometimes I wish I had what Hermione and Ron have, then other times… I don't." Harry shrugged.

"What's in there?" Changing the subject.

Harry had finally finished tying the string around the vial and had turned it into a pendant so he could wear it around his neck. He didn't trust it not to fall out of his pocket or be crushed if he fell over which he was known to do frequently.

"Memories." He replied and slipped the twine around his neck.

"They must be special." Draco said quietly.

"Special wouldn't be a word I would use to describe them." Harry replied and looked up towards the castle.

It was starting to get dark and he was starting to feel the coolness seeping through his school robes so he stood and brushed the dirt off his pants, offering the Slytherin his hand when he went to stand. Eyes appeared to be watching the silvery memories move in the vial and Harry, feeling nervous about it, decided to tuck them down his shirt. He hoped that they would be forgotten about soon because having them was a risk and he didn't want them getting into the wrong hands.

"Professor Snape has a penseive, if you ever want to look at them." Draco commented and Harry stopped walking with a sigh.

"I know and believe me, I'd rather face Voldemort once more than trip into that trap again with him." A shudder when down his spine at the thought of his Professor skinning him alive.

"Again?"

"It's a long story and I'm done talking today." Feeling short with his housemate, he waved him up the hill to indicate he was going to dinner and like a puppy, Draco followed him feeling an odd emotion developing within.

Perhaps he _was_ capable of making friends.


	5. Chapter 5

_**.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **I can neither confirm nor deny that Severus was under the cloak.**_

 _ **.**_

Harry woke from another nightmare, he had been chasing Draco and Professor Snape through the forest yelling at them. Either they couldn't hear him or they were ignoring his screams, but they didn't acknowledge him until they came to a clearing where a mob of Deatheaters were standing there waiting to kill. Harry saw them both turn and stand either side of Voldemort, the man cackling in his deranged manner and trying to unnerve him. He was standing alone, no one by his side. He had no friends or allies, they turned their backs on him and he had to finish this by himself. When Professor Snape had stepped forward, the Dark Lord had put a hand on his shoulder and whispered something. The last thing Harry saw before he was jolted awake was the bright flash of green and an evil laugh.

Wiping the stickiness off his face, Harry slowly sat up and looked around the dark room. It was very early in the morning, too early to be up so he rolled onto his side and felt the vial slip across his chest onto the mattress. It didn't provide much light, the memories, and it reminded him of a dimming Muggle glow stick as it ran out of juice. Closing his eyes, the vision of Professor Snape killing him popped up and he gasped, his heart and chest restricting and tightening, making him open his eyes immediately.

He had to remind himself that his Head of House wouldn't do something like that. He wouldn't suddenly turn, not after everything they had been through. It still made his stomach tighten uncomfortably, making him feel nauseous.

Resigning to not being able to get back to sleep, he rolled out of bed slowly and went to the bathroom. The bright lights were difficult to adjust to and he squinted the whole time he used the toilet. He looked at his appearance in the mirror as he washed his hands but had to look away when he caught his green eyes that shone brightly in the lighting. Green was everywhere, even accented in the bathroom. He splashed water onto his face and then looked back up at his reflection, his face looking pale and sickly making him realise why no one wanted to be his friend.

"Hey." A voice came from the doorway and Harry rubbed his arm across his eyes to dry them before looking to see Blaise standing there.

"Hey." Harry replied and put both hands on either side of the basin.

"Can't sleep?" His housemate asked and Harry shook his head, "We heard you. But I just wanted to tell you that we understand." He continued and Harry glanced over at him again to find Draco standing behind him.

"Yeah." Harry said softly, managing a small smile and the two boys came into the bathroom properly, seemingly neither of them tired and looking into the large mirrors along the wall.

All three of them looked defeated, exhausted and tired but that was to be expected Harry thought. It certainly felt different to be standing there with the two other Slytherin's and couldn't ever remember a time where he had experienced a reflective moment with Ron or Hermione. There was hope in the situation and Harry let it fill him before he made a move to get back into bed. When he looked at a clock he saw it was five in the morning but he was too awake now and simply sat there as the others climbed into bed.

Harry grabbed his wand and pulled the closest book he had towards him and flicked open to the last page he had been reading. It was his Charms textbook so decided that until it was time to get up he would occupy his mind with Charms. As he read, he played with the vial around his neck and put one point up to his chin and stopped reading, instead just looking at the words.

He continued to zone out for the morning and through his classes but when it came to his Defence class, his stomach started to build with butterflies. The nightmare was still fresh in his mind and when he laid eyes on his Professor who had his back to the class, he felt a lump growing in his throat. Finding a seat, he watched the man move about the front desk and found himself taking in his appearance as his eyes glazed over. This man looked so different to the one in the memories he carried, he was stiff and proper not vulnerable and soft. Even the Half Blood Prince persona was different to this man that stood in front of them all teaching his wisdom, he felt nurtured and guided rather than on edge and nervous.

So why did the man make him nervous? Aside from berating him with various tongue lashings and insults, he had ultimately saved his life and carried one of the biggest secrets in the war. He definitely preferred the Half Blood Prince but that person was gone, he would have appreciated the exposed man he saw in the memories but alas they were just that, memories, and he was stuck with this version. He exuded strength, intelligence and independence which was to be respected. Obviously, he didn't appreciate having the man shoot a killing curse towards him in his dreams and put a bit of a damper on his thoughts which was just as well when a piece of chalk hit him square on the forehead.

Frowning and rubbing the spot it hit, he refocussed to see the man staring at him expectantly. Inwardly, he groaned and realised he'd done it again and spaced out for the first part of the class before their practical session. He didn't make any move to stand up and there was a moment where he just stared at Professor Snape without batting an eyelid, the man was also doing the same until his Professor's eyes flicked down to the hand that was holding the outline of his pendant. Harry snapped out of it at that point and cleared his throat to stand and Draco pulled him away from their desks.

"He's been staring at you for a while now. Get it together." Draco whispered as he looked over his classmates shoulder at their Professor who was still watching but the class finally moved into positions and the room finally filled with some noise.

Harry rubbed his forehead again, self conscious that he had white chalk printed on his skin before pulling his wand. Looking lost and flapping his arms weirdly he went up to Draco and asked what they were supposed to be doing. After he gave the brunette an irritated glare he shared what the goal was and then began.

Severus hardly took his eyes off his two Slytherins but assisted the others when he needed to. He'd had the teen space out in his class before but not with his bright green eyes following his every movement like they had. He thought that perhaps Harry had known he'd used the cloak that had been confiscated but surely there would have been anger strong enough to have been confronted? If not, something had obviously happened to be the subject of the teen's obsession.

When class was finished, Hermione stood in front of Harry's desk and looked at him with worry.

"Everything okay?" She asked and he nodded mutely, "Well you don't look it. You were practically undressing Professor Snape with your eyes during class." She said seriously and his head snapped up, wild with anger.

"Excuse me?" She had the decency to blush and shrugged.

"Harry's having a rough day, Granger. Cut him some slack." Draco said from beside them and Hermione opened her mouth several times before not saying anything, just looking at her friend.

"Potter." Harry tensed his shoulders when his Professor called for him and shoved the book he was holding into his bag.

"I'll see you later." He addressed both of them and pushed past his Ravenclaw friend.

Hermione and Draco lightly glared at each other for a few moments before the blonde picked his bag up and pushed past her also, leaving the classroom quickly. Miffed, Hermione followed him and they went their separate ways as Harry stood in front of his Professor feeling that knot in his stomach.

"Do I bore you, Mr. Potter?"

"No, sir."

"Well then, I find myself in a bit of a predicament." Sarcasm dripped off his tongue and Harry felt a shiver go the length of his spine, "You see, all my students today were offering their complete attention. Everyone, except for you. So, my question to you, Mr. Potter is why you felt above everyone to ignore my teachings." Harry swallowed and refused to make eye contact with the man.

"Do you think you could do a better job, hmm?" Severus was standing tall behind his desk watching his student be taken down a few notches and his shoulders sag.

"No, sir."

"Are you sure? Next week we will be covering Patronus Charms and seeing as you are so proficient at this particular shield, it would be a personal honour to have you teach my class." Harry looked down and closed his eyes, the conversation getting too much for him and he could feel his temper rising.

"And I would hate for you to feel that your time is being wasted." Severus was enjoying this, he hadn't been on this much of a roll for a couple of years and it came so naturally to him.

"Okay, so I zoned out but I don't claim to know everything. There's nothing wrong with the way you teach us, it's me that can't seem to stay focussed."

"Ah, the 'it's not you, it's me' excuse."

"What?" Harry replied in utter disbelief and looked at the man with a pained expression.

Severus began to feel that this was a lost case, he thought that he was going to get a smart bite back like he had in the past but apparently the Slytherin was too far unfocussed on his life that the retort he was attempting to pass as a joke went completely over his head. Instead of replying to the brunette, he picked up the rolls of parchment that were his assigned homework and went to walk into his office.

"Pay attention next time, Potter or you will find yourself _zoning out_ in detention."

Harry stood there and flinched when the office door slammed closed making a couple of the paintings close by shudder against the stone wall. Was he in trouble? He wasn't entirely sure now and he had been left not understanding what the point of the conversation was. Yes, he wasn't paying attention but last he checked he was fine in all the content they had covered. _Patronus charms_ , he thought and pulled out his wand, looking at the piece of wood. He hadn't used that charm in quite some time and actually wondered if he could even cast it at all, there wasn't much he was happy about these days so the positive emotion he needed to cast it was going to be an issue.

 _Perhaps I should practice_ , he couldn't imagine what the class would say if he couldn't cast it and the sympathetic look Hermione would give him if they were to collectively practice wasn't something he wanted to think about. His head felt like such a mess as he remained standing in his defence classroom so without any hesitation he headed up to the seventh floor to clear his mind and centre himself. The sensation was immediate when he walked in and he dropped his bag at the door as he made his way to the centre.

Whilst the autumn weather brought on cooler temperatures, the sun filtering through the windows created a warm space for him and he lay back to let the sun soak into his robes. Closing his eyes, he thought about all the happy and positive memories he could draw on to produce the force field. There were the classics, such as his time at school with Hermione and Ron but they seemed to sour when he thought about their current relationship and had to cast it aside. Then there were his parents, seeing them standing in front of him with Sirius and Remus so he sat up and allowing the emotions to fill him up and pointed his wand out in front of him.

" _Expecto Patronum_." He said softly, but nothing more than blue sparks emitted from the tip of his wand.

 _Odd_ , he thought before trying again with the same emotions. Still however, nothing happened and when he continued to think about the four of them he felt the emotions fade into a grey depressing sadness when he remembered why he had seen the three of them.

 _I'm ready to die,_ the words echoed his head and whilst at the time he had felt at peace with his destiny it now created a cloud in his mind that was sucking him in. At least when Draco was older he had a purpose even though it wasn't the healthiest one, it was better than feeling lost and alone. He shook his head of those thoughts and moved on to something that naturally made him feel something different inside. He wasn't sure if he would have classified this as an emotion but when he opened his eyes and cast the charm, a pulsing ball of blue energy developed from his wand and floated a meter in front of him.

"Where's my stag?" He said aloud and let the charm die out before he tried again but he ended up staring at the same ball shaped energy formation that looked like it was trying to find a shape.

Not understanding how that was possible, he went to his bag and dragged out his textbook to read a head into the next chapter to see if there was anything in there that would tell him why his charm wasn't working. He knew the animal that appeared represented something that the individual loved which is why he believed that he had a stag. His mother had a doe, and his father the stag which meant they were completing each other. On the other hand, the pink monstrosity called Dolores Umbridge had an unhealthy obsession with cats and so hers had been a cat.

Did that mean that his desires or perception of love had changed? Did it mean that he no longer loved his parents the way he had before the tipping point of the war? He had no idea, but considering his positive thoughts had changed, to even conjure the charm this meant something and it had to be important. It left him feeling dejected and slowly he lowered himself back to the ground so he was looking at the ceiling. He wanted out of this school.

.

Another slow morning and another letter from his therapist. Harry didn't bother opening this letter either and with his wand set the paper on fire. He had gotten over his issues with smoke and fire now and watched in fascination as the flames engulfed the parchment and melted the wax seal. The Headmistress's warning wasn't far from his mind but they couldn't force him to do something he didn't want to.

Whilst he had his wand out he lazily made movements with it and muttering the patronus charm under his breath but nothing had changed, it still resembled nothing and the not knowing slowly ate away at him. He was currently sitting by himself, if Draco or Blaise had of been there it might have been different, but he enjoyed the solitude. In the distance his eyes focussed on Hermione who had been watching and ducked her head away when she saw that she'd been seen.

At lunch she finally approached him and sat at the Slytherin table in front of him. He glanced at her briefly and gave a short hello before continuing with his reading not that she seemed deterred. He heard the loud sigh and then looked up, his eyebrows raised to prompt her to speak.

"Your love has changed." She said matter of factly and he looked at her weirdly.

"My love has changed? What are you talking about?"

"Your patronus, I've watched you casting it at meal times. It used to be a stag because there was some connection to your parents undoubtedly, but something's changed. Your patronus is nothing, just ordinary." His heart sank at her words.

 _Ordinary_.

"Furthermore, your patronus is no longer as strong as it once was. If anyone can produce the patronus, that's what they get and it isn't nearly as strong as your animal protector."

"Wow, thank you, Hermione. You know you could have just stopped at the ordinary part and not continued with the fact that I'm now not a strong Wizard." Harry sulked and went to stand.

"I didn't mean it like that." She tried but he shook his head and walked away, bumping into several people as he left the hall.

Breaking into a run, Harry sprinted across the courtyard and down towards the lake, he felt like he was reaching breaking point and all it had taken was for his best friend to tell him he was ordinary. Well he wasn't ordinary was he, because if he was then he wouldn't be feeling this way, he wouldn't feel alone and scared. He wouldn't constantly be in an anxious state or throwing up after dreams.

Ragged breathing and soft lips of the water hitting the stony shore were all he could hear when he reached the water's edge. Throwing his bag to the side he stood on the pebbles and balled his fists fiercely before screaming across the lake. It hurt his throat but he didn't care, it felt satisfying to get it all out and when he ran out of breath he screamed again, and again after that until he felt dizzy and dropped to his knees. Pain shot through his kneecaps and without realising it he had tears running down his cheeks.

"I'm not ordinary." He choked through the tears and allowed himself to sob.

 _She's jealous. She's ordinary and you're special._

A young Severus Snape popped into his mind as he threw himself back onto the shore; most pebbles were rounded but some stuck into his spine. _But I'm not special am I, sir? I'm just ordinary; a broken ordinary second rate Wizard_. His thoughts were growing darker by the moment.

Staring at the sky as his chest heaved with loud sobs. He wasn't ordinary but for all that he could try, it kept circling his mind and making him angrier as time ticked on. He was sick of this, he was going to be in control of his emotions, no one could make him feel inferior, only he could do that. He was in control of the pain that he felt, no one else could hurt him.

With his mind set, he sat up and rushed to his bag to pick out his wand, hunched beside a large rock he stripped off his robe and jumper then rolled up his sleeve on his left arm. If he was going to hurt, then he was going to do it himself. The green, it was all around him, the grass, the moss and trees in the forest, in his common room and bedroom, on his uniform. He wanted red, he was going to let the red run free, a reminder of who he was before being resorted. It was the only way; his wand was raised, the way to slice just sitting on the tip of his tongue.

The wood was pressed to his left forearm, this was for him, this he could control, this was going to be pain. He hissed, his wand dangerously pushed against his flesh as it started to cut. Harry shut his eyes tightly but continued, it was completely worth it, the blood and the red. It was warm and reminded him of comfort. The blood trickled down towards his wrist and across his palm from the two-inch cut now on his arm. It felt euphoric and the only thing he could think of was how in control he felt.

His tears streamed down his rose coloured cheeks as a fresh round of tears came fourth and feeling drunk in the moment he lifted his wand upwards before pressing down again and marking himself once more. It burnt and it stung, his tears dropping down on the stones at his feet.

"I'm. Not. Ordinary." He gritted through the tears and fell awkwardly to his knees, clutching his wand tightly in his right hand before falling sideways.

He felt a nothingness from within, he felt lighter and free. The pain he felt on his arm was nothing like he had been feeling for the past few months and enabled him to finally see clearly. This was a pain he could identify with, the physical pain and one that would eventually get better.

Harry's crying subsided after a while and as he lay there amongst the pebbles, he allowed himself to take a refreshing deep breath. He took in the throbbing that was a constant keeper of rhythm. It allowed him to feel safe and relax.

And with that, he allowed himself to drift into darkness.

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 _ **Bit of a shorter chapter, the next one makes up for it.**_

 _ **:3**_


	6. Chapter 6

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 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Sometimes, I feel like she has too much knowledge that she's numb to normal emotions. As if she lives through textbooks and information. But that's just me.**_

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 **#WereBunny87:**

 _ **I'm glad you're enjoying the story :D**_

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 **#Onyx Thanatos Theodore Lerins:**

 _ **Darling, it is so amazing to hear from you again. I've missed you immensely! #SnarryForLife**_

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 **#Nixas:**

 _ **Thank you for your amazing review. I will endeavour to keep this level of writing up to your standard. #NoPressure :) I hope you enjoy this chapter just as you have the others.**_

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 **Thank you to everyone else that placed feedback. I'm glad everyone who has reviewed is enjoying the story.**

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Draco sat at dinner alone and kept looking at the place setting in front of him that had been set. He dared to think of Harry as his friend but didn't friends always make time for each other and turn up to meals? Now, he just felt silly and looked down the bench where Blaise and Pansy were talking to a few of the sixth year students. They weren't exactly laughing but it seemed like they were having some element of fun through dinner. It looked depressing, not to mention he had to look at the Gryffindor table from his seat. He watched Harry's friend, Granger, as she sat in the middle of a male ruckus that looked extremely uncomfortable for her. They made eye contact awkwardly when the boisterous red headed boyfriend leaned over her to pass something down the table so Draco gave her some form of an understanding glance. He wouldn't have called it a smile, and Hermione wouldn't have either but she took that as an invitation and left them to join the Slytherin.

"How did I put up with it all these years?" She joked, taking a seat.

"To be honest, I never took any notice." He replied and she smiled softly, then looked down the Slytherin table.

"Where's Harry?" She asked with a frown and Draco shrugged.

"Haven't seen him since lunch." Looking to the door he almost expected the brunette to walk through but when he didn't he turned back to his dinner.

From that point, they both sat there in an awkward silence not knowing what to say as they hadn't exactly been close in the years leading up to now. Hermione didn't mind it too much; the silence was actually rather refreshing for her after being around boisterous boys all day. Draco on the other hand was wracking his brain for a conversation starter but when nothing that didn't sound ridiculous he decided to keep his mouth shut. The fact that her presence didn't bother him was surprising but he realised that they were adults now, _except Weasley_ , he thought and sneered in the direction of Gryffindor.

"No Harry tonight?" Minerva observed.

"Evidently not." Severus replied not looking up.

"Have you spoken to him?"

"I passed on your note."

"You know that's not what I'm asking, Severus." She turned her head and gave him a soft glare.

"I instructed Mr. Potter that should he feel the need to, my door was open. Mr. Malfoy has also been swayed into opening up his self-absorbent inner circle and accept a friend. However, judging by tonight's developments, I see that Mr. Malfoy has gained two." Severus answered blandly and took a sip of wine.

"Be that as it may, Harry has not shown up for dinner. Given his current state of mind, wouldn't you be concerned?"

"Mr. Potter is more than capable of looking after himself." Severus replied, but even he had to admit that after the consistent appearance at meals, his lack of attendance should have been cause for concern though he would never admit that the Headmistress was correct.

"For your sake and his wellbeing, I hope so." She finished and stood, patting him on the shoulder as she passed him.

She had said to Harry about not getting involved in his affairs and realistically she shouldn't have been pushing Severus as much as she had been to make sure the teen was being looked after. However, as she passed Draco and Hermione she decided to drop by and ask them a couple of questions. They were both visibly surprised to see her, and Draco was envious of how at ease the ex-Gryffindor was in speaking with the Headmistress but wondered why she was concerned about the new Slytherin.

"And how are your classes going?" Hermione puffed her chest proudly and answered their Headmistress with pride, whilst Draco nodded.

"And do either of you know where Harry might be? I imagine he's studying?" She was disappointed when both students shared a look and her previous Lion disclosed that they hadn't seen him since lunch and hadn't been to classes.

"I see. Well, I woudn't be too concerned, I'm sure you'll find him in the common room." She offered a friendly smile and then turned to look at the head table.

Severus had been watching and sniffed at her interferrance, though it meant he didn't have to go snooping on his student. He had already done that and felt like he'd been caught, not that anything had been mentioned. But when the Headmistress turned and gave a worrying expression with a shake of her head he knew that something was off and with his dinner finished he stood and made his way out of the hall also.

"He hasn't been to any afternoon classes; Severus this means it's a little more serious. Find him, Merlin have the portraits look for him. I will not have a student missing in action and not attending classes without ensuring consequences are dealt."

"Of course, Minerva." He replied and looked out the main doors, taking a deep breath and running a hand through his hair.

He thought back to his recent experiences with the brunette and whilst he zoned out and seemed distant, he wasn't exactly failing from what he had heard from other Professor's. His mental state of mind wasn't the best; though he didn't think the student would be silly enough to do something idiotic. He took the Headmistress's advice however and spoke to a couple of the portraits to pass the word on that they had a missing student. There wasn't anywhere apart from the common room he thought Harry would be so he started with Slytherin and was going to go from there. Of course, the common room was practically empty when he arrived and he asked the students if they had seen Harry to which they denied they had.

As this was happening, Harry started to stir and grumbled at the headache he sported as he came to. It was pitch black and he was starting to shiver in the cold temperature but with his wand still secured in his right hand he cast a lumos and found his bag down by his feet. He was aware of the deep throbbing pain in his arm and when he refocussed his eyesight he saw the blood soaked arm which made him smile triumphantly. He needed to clean this up before he went back into the castle however, and staggering, he crawled to the water and dunked his arm in the icy lake. He hissed at the stinging but it only made him feel more sure of his decision to do what he did.

He pulled his sleeve down and threw on his robe, wincing when the fabric rubbed against his open wounds but knew that he had to get back to the castle. He didn't want to deal with anyone and was feeling exhausted. A nice hot shower was all he needed and then sleep.

He stumbled most of the way back to the castle and when he reached the main courtyard he felt something warm running down his palm. Swearing softly he took his jumper and hugged it to stop the bleeding until he could tend to himself back in the dorm room. As he entered the castle, he felt like the portraits were whispering around him and when he glared at one of them he was given a smile and a nod. He had this odd sense of dread that began to sink into his stomach as he neared the Slytherin common room and certainly wasn't disappointed in his senses when he saw his Head of House and Slughorn standing outside the entrance. They seemed to turn as one to face him and Slughorn immediately looked relieved before making his exit down the corridor.

Harry tried not to make eye contact with the man as he approached and without any comment or questioning, he entered the common room not noticing how his Professor eyed him the whole way as if expecting something to happen. There were a couple of people that he passed that informed him their Head of House was in fact looking for him but he simply half smiled and told them he'd already seen him.

The dorm room was another issue altogether and as soon as he entered Draco pounced on him asking where he had been. Aparently – _sorry I feel alseep_ – wasn't the best answer even though it was actually what had happened and quickly said he needed a shower. Grateful that the teen didn't follow him, he undressed and carefully slipped under the hot water, the wounds open and fresh continued to bleed. He hadn't been the best at healing spells and only relied on his base magical core to heal him when he was out of school terms at his Aunt and Uncles.

He had two ties, so when he got out of the shower he tightly wrapped the one he'd been wearing around his forearm in an attempt to stop the bleeding until he read something that would help. In the mean time, he just had to be careful and needed to get the blood off his jersey. A basic _scourgify_ would do the trick for now and keep people off his back.

By the time he got under the covers and his head hit the pillow he was gone, entering dream world once again and for the first time in months he dreamt of something other than flashes of green.

When he woke in the morning, he felt more refreshed than he had in a while, he all but skipped to the Great Hall for breakfast. His positivity took a nose dive however when a familiar owl swooped down and deposited a note that was rolled up. Unravelling it, there was a short note from his Head of House requesting his presence after classes and had no doubt it was to do with his absence during the prior afternoon. He hadn't intended on missing class, it had just happened but now it seemed his Professor's leniency had dried up. He only hoped that there wouldn't be questions, he wasn't going to hold his breath.

During Potion's class, he stared helplessly into his cauldron as it bubbled dangerously because he'd completely messed it up. Scouring the recipe and instructions he fully believed that it should be fine but the mass that was getting thicker by the second seemed to be showing otherwise. Glancing over at Draco's potion, his was simmering nicely and he worried his bottom lip, wondering what to do. He turned the heat down for a start and it started to reduce the number of bubbles but he knew it was a complete write off.

As Slughorn did his rounds he looked disappointedly into Harry's cauldron and noted down an extremely low grade. The teen already felt crap about the result and could have done without a sympathetic glance as his Professor continued on to the other students. He felt like a failure, and Draco could tell his classmate was feeling down about it but when Harry reached out to grab his cauldron for cleaning and the end of his sleeve pulled away from the white school shirt, the blonde grabbed his wrist to stop him.

Harry glared at him and pulled his arm away, the motion making him wince as Draco's fingers scraped across his cuts but didn't make any other motion to prove that he had any issues. The blonde watched as Harry walked over to the sinks with his cauldron but didn't say anything. He wanted to, but considering he knew that the brunette wanted some privacy he decided to wait until they were alone to bring anything up. That was if the new Slytherin didn't run off at any given point in the day and hide, he looked as though he could pass out at any moment.

The day dragged on slowly and Harry could feel himself getting more and more irritated due to the pain in his forearm. It had been a great release for him at the time and he'd never felt more free but if he didn't get medical attention soon he was going to snap at someone. With his meeting scheduled with his Head of House at the end of classes, he figured that he needed something before then and at lunch, went to the Hospital Wing to see Madame Pomfrey.

"What seems to be the matter, Potter?" She asked, sitting at her desk and he pulled the sleeve of his jersey down self-consciously.

"A headache, Matron. I just need some pain relief." He said softly and she nodded, coming back with a vial and handing it to him before writing down his name in her book.

Immediately he felt better and calmness spread through his arm to which he was very grateful for. Handing her back the empty vial he thanked her and then quietly disappeared to the hall for lunch where Draco was sitting waiting for him. He cautiously sat in front of the blonde who said nothing and they ate quietly, it didn't make Harry's anxiety get any better and he was just waiting for something to be brought up. When it didn't he just looked at the teen and found narrowed eyes aimed at him in a short glare.

Knowing exactly what he was upset about, Harry looked at his plate and didn't say a word. He didn't utter a single syllable until he stood in the doorway of his defence classroom and sighed, hesitating on the threshold. He was walking to his doom he knew it, and yes he admitted he'd brought this on himself but he could have done without what he presumed to be some form of detention with his Head of House.

Severus, sensing that his student had arrived, opened his office door and stood at the top of the stairs, propping himself on the stone landing and eyeing his clearly nervous student critically. From this distance, Harry looked like a scared little boy as he fidgeted with his left sleeve, but he knew that he would see something else in his eyes once closer. They were looking at each other and try as he might, Severus found that he couldn't muster a disgraced expression, instead he let his words be the sharp knife and barked for him to come in. His Slytherin flinched at the tone but slowly walked into the class and made his way to the bottom of the stairs.

Severus had been trying to put this off, but with the Headmistress's interference he couldn't ignore this any longer. Turning into his office, he went in and waited for the scared brunette to walk through the door. He stood in front of his desk and glared when Harry seemed to wait in the doorway as he had last time, looking extremely pale.

"You're going to take a seat, Mr. Potter." He said, pointing to one of the two chairs in front of his desk, he was intending on sitting in the other one.

Harry felt sick, he didn't want to be here at all and found he was taking deeper slow breaths to try and refrain from vomiting over the man's immaculately polished black shoes. He sat nonetheless and was surprised when he saw his Professor take the other one rather than sitting behind his desk. This meant something important, they weren't going to have a usual conversation, it was far more intimate than that.

Severus sat and leaned his right arm on the edge of the chair, his left leg crossed over the other as he regarded his Slytherin. Various emotions flowed through him not that he let them show, and intertwined his slim fingers.

"Harry." He started and the brunette looked up with a frown, "I need to know that you are coping." Swallowing, Harry glanced down at his left arm and fiddled with the hem of his jumper.

"I said before that having moments of flashbacks and memories where okay, neither of us are strangers to these. My concern however, is that you appear to be travelling backwards, not forward." Severus's voice lacked its usual bite and this was something Harry felt comforted by.

His Professor had a point, coming back to Hogwarts had definitely meant his nightmares increased and mood soured but he didn't want to speak to someone who didn't understand. The therapist was good at his job, he was in fact top in his field only because Harry could afford it but when it came to the deep topics, that really hit his core, it appeared that there was something missing. His therapist didn't know how things and people impacted his life, how certain people were revealed to be on different sides. His Professor was one of those people that he felt deeply for but was too scared to delve into those dark corners to pinpoint what exactly he felt and how it impacted his life. Certainly sitting there in such an informal setting was making him uncomfortable enough, he could only imagine what unhinging the closed doors would do.

"The Headmistress has not disclosed any details to me in regard to your therapy sessions, only that you aren't communicating with your therapist. I won't ask you why, nor ask that you respond to his continual messages you ignore." At this, Harry felt the bile slowly rising up his throat causing a lump he couldn't swallow.

"What I ask is for you to think about how _not_ doing these things will be effecting you and the others you so desperately want to keep at arms length." Severus was watching the teen holding something back and he wasn't entirely sure if he was listening but suddenly his green eyes looked up desperately for a moment, almost vulnerable, before being cast down once more.

Harry was actually listening and for a moment he _did_ think about why he kept everyone distanced but he always came back to the same reasons; that they just didn't understand and likely never would. He never wanted to put himself on a pedastal or make himself the centre of attention but the way his life had panned out, being thrust in the spotlight was part of being _The Chosen One_ and it made him feel nauseous. He kept people at arms length because he didn't trust easily, Seamus was a great example of why. It didn't matter that they had fought side by side against Voldemort, in the end for someone as small minded as him it all came down to what house you were in. He certainly didn't believe he was a rude bully, the hat saw past all that and clearly wanted for him to find closure when he was placed in Slytherin. Well if that closure included being in Slytherin, then he supposed it was something he'd have to live with.

"He will never understand." Harry finally said, in the smallest voice he possibly could above a whisper.

"I don't doubt that." Severus responded after a beat when he recovered from the surprise of an answer.

"Harry." Severus was almost leaning out of his chair, not wanting to necessarily get close to his Slytherin but just to make sure he was listening, the raised head was a good indicator of that, "Don't bottle this up. If you can open up to someone, say Draco or Miss. Granger, I think you'll find that certain individuals will take a step back and leave you in peace."

He was of course referring to himself and the Headmistress, they were the two immediate people he believed that were directly involved. The therapist, who Severus didn't care for in the slightest, could be left out of the equation if the teen showed some improvement but he feared that it wouldn't happen at his current rate.

"You mean – " Harry stopped himself when he realised there was hope in his voice and bit his lip, looking at his lap once more.

He felt incredibly small at this point, it was undignified to be sitting there like a child being bargained with. It wasn't something Harry was appreciating and suddenly wanted a quick exit. Fortunately, with a heave of his chest he finally felt the lump dislodge but he noticed his Head of House stand quickly. The door was quickly opened and he took the opportunity to believe their chat was over, so without another word he made a swift exit, breaking into a run when he made it halfway across the classroom.

Severus felt a shiver run through his spine at the prospect of having to see the contents of his students stomach. He found himself requiring a glass of water as he instinctively went to swallow and found his mouth dry. At least he had tried to speak with his student, something within had settled and he realised that perhaps he had been anxious about it. He certainly had been adament that he didn't want to do it but aparently that was because he himself was nervous, not that he would ever admit these feelings. He was far too proud for that.

. . .

Over the weekend, Harry spent it sitting or sleeping in his bed. He didn't particularly feel up to dealing with people but did go to meals. He was too focussed on trying to find something he could love so that he didn't look like a fool in front of his classmates. He hadn't been alone however, and Draco had been spending some time with him, mostly reading or completing homework, and ocassionally watching Harry practice spells.

On Monday night, Draco was sitting on the edge of his bed watching Harry who was practicing the Patronus charm. He himself hadn't been able to cast it and he wasn't an idiot, he had done his research behind it over the weekend. There was a possible chance that he would never actually be able to cast one with his past, the Dark Mark on his left forearm was going to be evidence of that. Whatever the brunette's reason was for practising, he didn't want to fail in front of the class and was plucking up the courage to ask his roommate for help. He had been part of the group to tear down what the students had called _Dumbledore's Army_ , and he knew that Harry had been the one taking it. Rumor was that they had all been practising this charm so majority of their class were already proficient.

"Lose something over here, Draco." Harry said as he sat at the end of his own bed, vial twirling in his fingers as he looked at the blonde expectantly.

"Oh," Draco hadn't realised he'd been staring and felt caught out, "You've been practising your Patronus, right?"

"Yes." Harry replied bitterly and wrapped the twine around his hand as he fiddled with it.

"Could you teach me?" His composure was really no where to be seen and he found himself looking away awkwardly.

"Sure." Harry replied and moved off his bed, letting go of the pendant around his neck and standing at one side of the room, "What part are you stuck on?" He asked and Draco stood.

"The memory." He replied and Harry nodded before explaining what he needed to do.

"Some Witches and Wizards can't cast a full Patronus but the ball of energy would be enough to send a message or hold back a Dementor for only a short period."

Draco looked like he wanted to say something but refrained as he closed his eyes and thought of his memory. With some deep breathing and focussed brow knitting he felt the positive and happy memory from his childhood bubble up from within and when he felt he was ready, raised his wand.

" _Expecto Patronum._ " Draco spoke softly but only a slither of magic came from his wand.

"It's a good start, just practising like that, let the memory build up and take over. That's what's going to get you a powerful shield and ultimately your protector." Harry went and sat on his bed, watching as the blonde practised a couple more times.

At one point, Harry stood and went to correct his wand movement, but mainly stayed out of the way as he continued. He thought the blonde was doing really well and remembered back to when he himself was learning from Remus. It had taken a few times but in the end he had the motivation more so than the class did at the moment. There was no pressure to learn these things, they were now just part of schooling.

Draco didn't manage to produce a full body Patronus but was very close to getting an energy ball by the time he was finished and collapsed onto his bed. Harry knew that feeling very well and smiled fondly at those times when he thought there was time to relax. However, he didn't feel like this was a time where he could relax, he needed to get his own Patronus into a full protector by the afternoon. With anxiety growing, he tossed and turned in his bed until he couldn't take it much longer and got up, throwing on an old jumper and going to the common room.

It was empty and extremely late but the fire was still smoldering away so went to sit on the couch in front of it. He had his wand, he never went anywhere without it these days, and tapped it against his left palm. The pull of his wrist on tight skin made him wince and pulling up his sleeves he saw the angry purle and red scars that lined up along his forearm. Over the nights, his instinctive magic had taken over to start healing the cuts but they were going very slowly to the point where he could still bump his arm and they start bleeding once more. He still didn't regret what he'd done but if the time came where he was in that much pain, he thought that he would try focussing his magic on blowing some rocks up instead.

 _I need something for tomorrow_ , he thought as he sat there and put his feet on the table in front of him as he leaned back and thought. He wondered if the euphoric feeling of when he sliced himself open would be enough but when he focussed his wand in front he realised that dark thoughts wouldn't work. Sighing and letting his head fall back along the couch he stared at the ceiling until he couldn't hold his eyes open any longer and before he knew it, was asleep.

In the morning, Severus was helping himself to coffee when he saw two extremely sleep deprived Slytherin students walk into the hall. They were looking more and more alike these days. He wondered what had kept them awake this time, he knew that Draco suffered nightmares and would hazard a guess that Harry experienced them on a more than regular basis.

"Er, Professa Snape?" Hagrids deep voice floated from down the table and displaying irritation, Severus looked down to him, turning his head very slowly.

"I wonder' if perhaps I coul' 'ave a chat to yer before classes." Hagrid was very nervous, even now.

"Fine." Severus snapped and took a long sip of black coffee to wake his senses up.

The thought occurred that he should get his two students drinking coffee but stopped himself there when he realised how idiotic it seemed and very caring. Instead, he watched the students who were in deep discussion with each other and he wasn't sure if he could work out whether they were worried or not. Draco was never one for expressing his emotions very well, whereas Harry was an open book; but neither seemed to be giving off one particular vibe. He saw the blonde draw his wand and give it a perplexed expression before placing it on the table and resting his head on his folded arms. Whatever they were dicussing, seemed to be troubling them both.

Drinking the rest of his coffee, Severus stood and wandered over to Hagrid who stood also and half turned his back to the hall. Severus folded his arms and stood in a bored fashion whilst the giant conposed himself.

"Thank you, Professa Snape."

"What is so important?" He snipped and Hagrid rung his hands anxiously.

"Well, yer see – it's 'Arry's class today."

"Your class?" Severus snapped impatiently.

"Yer, see, we're plan'n on another trip in 'ter the forest an' well, ther last time he disappeared an' I would hate fer 'im 'ter get in 'er trouble once again fer missin' class." Hagrid looked over his shoulder and Severus turned to face his Slytherin also.

Severus made eye contact with Harry and saw the teen swallow before looking away and whispering something to the blonde and he looked over. Severus didn't make any comment to Hagrid and wondered what he was supposed to do about it, was he going to be asked to talk to his Slytherin and let him know what was happening? Or was this a courtesy call for him to be advised there would be a missing student? He attempted to express this through a glare at Hagrid, a glare that screamed, _and I am going to do what about it?_

"If he don't wan' 'ter be ther', I won take offence but – "

"Are you suggesting that I pull my student from your class just because he has a fear of the forest? Or are you wanting to warn him prior to class that he will be expected to be joining his classmates?"

"Well, see, I… Well I though' maybe – "

"Save your energy." Severus rolled his eyes and nodded at Hagrid indicating that the conversation was over, then walked away.

Heading towards the Slytherin table, he stalked quickly towards his two students, stopping in front of them. Watching the colour drain from the brunettes face, he regarded them and decided to have a quiet word. He didn't think that Harry would mind Draco knowing about his forest fears but believed having the rest of the house hear would be embarrassing, so he spoke quietly.

"Mr. Potter, I require a word with you." He nodded towards the doors and Harry nodded hesitantly, looking to Draco before he stood.

They were standing at the back of the hall, in the corner and Harry worried his lower lip, trying to keep a comfortable distance between the two of them.

"Hagrid has informed me that your class today will involve venturing into the forest," He stopped when there was an expression of defeat forming on his studen'ts face, "So, I have decided that in light of what happened previously, you may choose to not attend."

Severus hadn't exactly thought through what he was offering, but just seeing the fear shining in his green eyes made him think that perhaps he needed some more time to process what happened. There were plenty of nightmares and flashbacks that the teen undoubtedly had on a daily basis through just being in the school but the forest was another matter. He had heard of the teen's sacrifice, that it had been in the forest where he had 'died' at the wand of Voldemort. Coming to terms with this and actually following through with it, well, Severus openly admitted to himself that he respected the teen. No one knew he was supposed to survive, and Severus wondered if Albus had known this and was just trying to make people do as he required them to do.

"I don't have to go?" Harry's voice was unsure and he was looking to his blonde classmate every few seconds.

"Potter. Therapy or not, what happened is not a soft topic. Should you wish, I will grant you a pass exluding your presence – _but only_ – because it involves the forest. You will get notes off your friends for the content you will miss and I expect you to provide Hagrid with a roll of parchment outlining your understanding of the content." Severus hovered over his student with an expectant look, waiting for the confirmation that he had understood what was to happen but when he didn't receive anything he cleared his throat.

"Yes, sir." Harry finally vocalised and his Professor nodded.

"I expect you at my classroom tonight, eight o'clock sharp, with all the reading material you will require to complete such task. I know how lenient the man is with homework." At that Severus spun around and walked out of the hall.

Not that Harry was aware at the time but as soon as his Professor said that he might have been going into the forest he had frozen up and not taken a breath, but now that the man had walked away he inhaled sharply and let a smile form. There was the sudden burst of the man's cologne as he walked away that Harry caught and something odd wriggled it's way into his mind as he stood there.

"What was that about?" Draco asked, handing Harry his bag.

"Just class." He said vaguely and they walked off to their morning classes.

Professor Snape's kindness had a weird affect on Harry and he sat through the morning thinking about it all. He propped his head on a hand as he listened to Professor Flitwick drone on about some new found research he'd discovered into colour charms and played with the vial in his other hand. His Head of House had been lenient on him, there were very few occassions where he could ever remember this happening, in fact all of those times had been in the few months they had been back at school.

Whatever the reason, he was grateful not to have to be in his next class but then when he realised Defence was after lunch he grumbled internally. He and Draco still hadn't moved past their energy balls and as the weight of this embrassment started to grow, in turn, so did his anxiety. He needed a happy memory, something that filled him with immense joy. Closing his eyes he put the full weight of his head onto his palm and thought back through everything that had recently happened that might bring him joy. He thought about his friends thus far, how things had changed between them, how a change of house had entirely changed his perception and how Professor Snape had changed. _Professor Snape, how strange he's become_ , Harry thought, remembering the scent he'd caught that morning. The man had reached out to him the past week and he hadn't even been entirely respectful, mainly due to the oddity of it all and also because his body reacted in a way he couldn't control.

 _All this time_ , his thoughts were carrying him away.

 _Always_ , they continued.

A quick jab to the ribs and Harry refocussed on the world around him and looked to find Hermione looking at him sideways. He shook his head and they made their way out of class until they were heading towards Hagrid's class but he stopped when he realised he wouldn't have to go and it pleased him immensely.

"Coming?" Hermione asked but he shook his head, a small smile on his lips.

"Why not? And why are you smiling? You have the same goofy smile on your face as when you were sitting in class just now." She was almost snappy with him but he shrugged and looked past her at Ron who was still walking.

"I forgot something in the common room, I'll see you later." He said and waved her off, disappearing around the corner.

He wondered what he should do in the remaining hours before lunch and then it hit him, he could practice his Patronus.

"I'm worried." Hermione said catching up to Ron and the others.

"He does seem distant but then he always looks like that these days." Commented Ron, who admittedly had shunned Harry as of late due to pressure from other Gryffindor's.

"He has a lot on his mind." Luna chirped as she sidled up to Hermione.

"He's just given up on everything." Seamus interrupted and then pulled Ron off in the distance with some Quidditch world news.

"He'll be okay though, won't he?" Hermione turned to Luna because she knew that the girl had seer-like tendancies.

"Harry's just in a confused space right now," She said dreamily, "But everything will work out after Christmas." She finished and smiled up at the sky as they walked down the hill.

Meanwhile, Harry was heading to the seventh floor when Professor Snape came out of his classroom and stopped when they saw each other. Harry looked down a corridor he was about to turn down but looked back to his Professor feeling a strange because he wasn't in class. Severus too was feeling odd about it, he should be taking points away and issuing detention but fact was he had told Harry if he didn't want to go then he didn't have to. They continued to stay like this for a minute before Harry made the daring decision to keep walking and Severus let him, he had no right to go back on his word.

Continuing on their respective ways, Harry was half way down the corridor when he glanced over his shoulder just as his Head of House was walking past and they met each others eye once again before he turned back around and kept walking. The feeling was surreal, strange and made his insides warm gently. He wondered if the Headmistress had been made aware of this arrangement, or if she had even suggested it in the first place. Which ever it was, left him feeling lighter on his feet and he made his way quickly to the Room of Requirement.


	7. Chapter 7

.

"Oh, now he decides to show up." Hermione commented when Harry approached her and Luna at lunch.

"I had my reasons." He said, "Can I sit?"

"Of course you can." Hermione replied, miffed.

"I also had permission." Harry continued, holding onto his wand tightly.

"From?"

"Professor Snape."

"Oh, well you missed a really important lesson. Hagrid showed us – "

"Yeah, that's actually why I'm here." Harry blushed and looked up at her hopefully.

"So you get to skip class and then have the nerve to ask me for my notes?" She huffed and folded her arms but then her face softened and immediately she caved, saying he could, "I know things haven't been easy." She conceded and leant over, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you." He smiled, a genuine smile of gratitude that took her by surprise but to see him that happy she would have done anything for him.

"So, have you sorted your other issue?" She asked almost callously and she watched him tense his shoulders.

"Not really. I thought I saw a whisp of something before but, no." Frowning and turning to look at his housemate, Draco, he looked just as sad, they only had a small amount of time before class.

That time went far too quickly and soon Harry and Draco were sitting up the back of class, books out and scanning the last pages before their awaited fates. Harry's heart felt like it was beating furiously and he had to wipe the palms of his hands down his robes when their Professor entered the classroom.

Severus was quite excited to see the Patronus charms this year, when they were full body protectors, the animal represented an aspect of the casters life that was crucially important. His, for example, was a Doe and the only person alive that knew why was sitting at the back of the classroom refusing to look up. He was getting rather tired of looking at a mess of dark hair rather than focussed eyes because he wasn't sure if the teen was even paying attention. Nonetheless, he started the lesson, it seemed, all of the students were excited about showing off their charms, all but two.

"You've read the chapters so I expect that you know what the role of a Patronus is." Severus stood at the front of the class and waited for someone to raise their hand, looking expectantly to Granger.

"The role of a Patronus charm is to positively force a Dementor away. That is it's primary role, however, many strong Witches and Wizards use it for other purposes, such as communication. They simply cast their Patronus and report the message."

"Correct, Miss. Granger. Each Witch and Wizard's Patronus animal is different, that is, if they can cast the Protector. It is infact rare to produce a full body charm but the energy blast is exceptionally good for passing on messages. I don't expect many of you to have mastered a full body Patronus," At this he looked to Harry but was surprised when he didn't see a confident student sitting in his chair, "And is not an indication of how strong of a Wizard you are."

Harry's ears pricked up when he heard that last bit but otherwise didn't react until Hermione decided to run her big mouth and ask another question that hit home for him.

"Sir, what if you were once able to cast a full body charm but no longer can?" Hermione had been itching to ask this question since the moment she saw that Harry was only getting the energy ball.

Severus frowned, he had not been expecting that kind of question at all. Then again, these students shouldn't have ever learnt it before now and therefore would not have experienced knowledge. He didn't feel like he could answer that question and had only read a little on the subject, quite possibly the same information that this Ravenclaw had already researched.

"Miss. Granger, why don't you tell the class what _you_ know? I'm sure this thought had you running to the library the moment you thought it." He snapped and oh did it feel good to kick her down a notch, he didn't think she'd have the gaul to share it to the class if his suspicions of her friend were correct.

With a shake of her head, he sneered impressively down at her and continued on, explaining the ways of procuring positive, happy memories. Of course, this was something that he believed the students would struggle with; how their bad tempered Professor was able to establish such positive memories. The sad fact was, he didn't have many happy memories and instead his Patronus was fueled by an emotion. Love.

"Allowing the memory, the _feeling_ , to build within. It needs to consume and wrap around you like a blanket. Then, speaking the words, _Expecto Patronum_ ; a positive force with erupt from your wand. It will shield you and protect, depending on which level of Patronus you have."

Harry sighed and scratched his left forearm across the cuts, he needed to feel something other than the disappointment that was growing as class progressed. He knew that one wound had opened up as he could feel the slow leak soaking into his white shirt but he didn't care and kept rubbing until the throbbing took an edge off.

"I believe its now time to practice. Take a few moments to think about a memory before you proceed." Severus could see the teens waiting to jump out of their seats and wasn't disappointed.

"Sir, are you able to show us yours?" Pansy Parkinson piped up from one of the corners and immediately he felt all eyes on him.

He knew it was customary to demonstrate to the students how it worked and he wasn't afraid of casting it but there was one person in the room it would affect and seeing the large eyes that resembled cup saucers at the question, he knew it would be difficult. He thought a moment and nodded to Parkinson before walking through the students to the door, standing in front of it under the pretence that he needed the long space but in reality he was blocking the door so that one particular student didn't run away.

"Pay particular attention to my wand movements, I will take it slower so you may observe." Severus was stalling and as he spoke, he looked directly at Harry.

They made eye contact briefly and Severus allowed his expression to soften, it was noted when he saw the brunette take a deep breath and then look to the floor. Severus then looked over the rest of the students and allowed the feeling to fill him up, taking a breath he moved his wand slowly as promised and used his free hand to fuel a boost of magic to add a flourish to the casting process. As expected a Doe leaped from the end of his wand and landed elegantly at the front of the class. It was larger than usual as he put more energy into the charm but that was only to show the students. There were a few gasps and majority of the class were enthralled by his Doe, Parkinson in particular, who went up to it and started looking all over it as if it was the most fascinating object in the room.

The rest of the students then started practising and Severus wasn't surprised when Granger was the first to show off her full body patronus. However, she seemed surprised by it and instead of gloating about her abilities, spent the time analysing something about it. Weasley was the second to show off and a large Golden Retriever leaped from his wand and started running around the classroom until it knocked over Longbottom and it disappeared as he helped the Hufflepuff stand.

"I don't know about all this." Draco leant over to Harry and they turned their backs to the class.

"Professor Snape said that not everyone will get it first go." Harry whispered back and they looked over their shoulders to find a couple of them had completed the first stage, the energy ball.

"But you showed me, we practised." Draco was sounding desperate but Harry didn't know what more he could do.

"Mr. Malfoy, Potter. Unless you are discussing your inner most personal and positive memories that doesn't look like practice." Severus had a reputation to retain.

"Sorry, sir." Draco muttered and turned away from Harry, swallowing hard and pointing his wand.

It took a few a couple of attempts but finally Draco achieved the first stage, to which he was rewarded with praise from the other Slytherins, including Harry. Blaise and Pansy also managed them and although they weren't full body Patronus' it was surprising to see them celebrate. Harry thought that maybe he had been putting too much pressure on himself, but when he looked around the others who had been in the rebellious Dumbledore's Army all had their shields either flying or galloping around the room.

As he stood and watched, he forgot about his Professor who was standing a meter behind him until he found something nudging his left wrist. Glancing down he jumped in fright when Professor Snape's Doe nuzzled against his hand and instinctively he went to pet it. A current of calmness then tingled in his fingers and worked its way up his arm, through his chest and completely around his body. He hadn't felt at peace quite like it for a long time and only the Room of Requirement came even remotely close to it.

He had this intense desire at that moment, something from within his chest, and when he closed his eyes he saw two figures as they lay on the floor. One tightly embracing the other, a male and a female, intense pain and sorrow that was suddenly over come by a powerful emotion. It was strange, felt odd, and not something he was accustomed with but he could feel it growing within and he knew what to do. He rose his wand and took a defiant stance, he remembered this feeling very well. Except this time it was different and with the sudden emotion flowing through his body he almost sang the charm as it left his lips.

" _Expecto Patronum!_ " Harry's voice raised a level and he pushed with his other hand, he'd done that once before when he was saving his Godfather from the Dementor attack and no need for it in class but having seen his Professor do it, seemed right.

As the light started to develop at the end of his wand, he watched in pained slowness as the silvery blue light started to develop into something. It was long and appeared to wrap slowly into what appeared to be a coil. Fearing that he had failed and was going to be left with a ball of energy, he gasped when the coil developed into something that he would have once feared. As it wound it's body tightly in a coil, it's tail flicked like a whip and head bobbed up and down looking at Harry eagerly. It's tongue darted out and hissed in the air.

"S-Snake." Neville commented abrubtly and took a few steps backwards.

Harry simply stared at the serpent staring back at him, there was no movement in the room aside from a coyote that was chasing the rabbit as everyone took a moment to comprehend what had happened. He was vaguely aware that someone was clasping onto his shoulders and shaking him gently, then Draco stood in front of him and he snapped out of his daze. Immediately he thought the blonde would be extremely annoyed that he hadn't been able to cast a full body for days and then suddenly be able to produce it in class but something in his eyes told him otherwise. Something he hadn't seen very often, empathy and understanding.

Of course, when the hype died off and everyone scoured their books to see the true meaning behind their spirit animals, Harry was left standing rooted to the spot where he had cast his Patronus. The Stag of his father was gone, the last shred of something he had connecting him back to them was gone. He always took pride in his Stag, it showed power and strength but he wasn't a fool to know that deer in general represented gentleness and healing. Seeing his mothers Doe being cast by his Professor had been heartwrenching but then when he'd touched it, something had rekindled deep within.

Harry didn't know what a snake represented and he wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to know. It was the symbol of his house, a representation of what had happened in the past and who he had become until now. Was this supposed to be a reminder for him, that he was different to everyone else? He doubted anyone would know.

Severus busied himself at the front of the class as the students finished up with their practical lesson with Harry not far from his mind. He had been wondering if the stag would make some question the two of them, but a snake, that was something new to him. A snake represented many things to various people but its prime role was healing. It was guidance, transformation and change. In a lot of ways it showed what Harry needed this in his life but a Patronus didn't show what the caster required, it was a repesentation of something in their life that they loved and cherished. Whilst Severus couldn't say that his emotion was cherishable, healing wasn't something that Harry was undertaking. His Patronus was a representation of everything that he _didn't_ have.

 _I'm missing something_ , Severus thought, and watched Harry leaving the classroom with his friends.

"A snake, Harry? That's incredible." Hermione beamed as she sat down for dinner and Harry cocked his head bemused.

"How so?" He asked and Draco too listened as Blaise was telling the others a story.

"Well, snakes represent life and death, rebirth and transformation. There are other things also but it just makes so much sense." She waffled excitedly even though she had yet to explore her own, "Well, there is that little issue around what it represents in terms of love but I think that's redundant."

Harry glanced thoughtfull down at his food and haphazardly stuck a carrot in his mouth. She was right, the Patronus showed the caster their deepest love as it transformed into the protector. So, did that mean he was a secret lover of the Dark Lord or even Salazaar Slytherin himself? They were the only two icons he could think of that represented the serpent. It couldn't be possible, but it had him wondering. A chill ran down his spine, imagine if his stag had appeared and then decided it was going to be friendly with his Professor's, rumors would definitely begin then.

"What about yours then?" Harry asked and Hermione went quiet, pensive even.

"I had grown quite fond of my otter." She replied and then shrugged, "It just proves that war can change things. Oh, here's my notes too." She smiled at both Slytherin's sitting in front of her and then went back to the book she had opened.

"I'm not even sure I'm capable." Draco whispered to Harry, but when the brunettes eyes darted to the Ravenclaw that was sitting in front of then he didn't speak again until they were sitting in the common room.

"I don't know much about dark magic per say," Harry began, making sure there wasn't anyone in immediate earshot, "Some dark Wizards _can_ produce a Patronus and only extremely rare cases where they produce a full body. You shouldn't have any issues really, I mean, perhaps… this…?" Harry tapped his finger on Draco's left arm but didn't say any more.

"Dolores Umbridge was able to cast a full cat patronus, when you've practiced I'm sure you'll get there."

The blonde felt a little empty over his Patronus but the fact that the other Slytherin's hadn't been able to produce a full body one either had definitely lifted his spirits. Whilst not being able to cast fully, he had done reading and knew there was another reason why Harry's one was a snake, it couldn't be coincidence that he was in Slytherin and this just proved it. They were both healing, Merlin, most people in the school were but for the first time, Draco sat in front of the fire with an Ex-Gryffindor that he could almost call a friend. They were spending more time together and whilst they didn't always talk, it wasn't talking that Draco wanted to do. He just wanted to have someone he could trust and count on, someone to be there when things were a little tricky. Harry seemed to be filling that role for him, even though he had spoken a lot to their Head of House about various things, mainly dark things, it was refreshing to have someone his own age that understood the strain that life had produced.

When eight o'clock came round, Harry was walking into his Defence classroom only to find it empty. Movement of a shadow in the office above showed that his Professor was there so he walked in further to announce his arrival but stopped short of the man's desk when the shadow of light stopped and covered him in. Looking up towards the door, Professor Snape was standing on the landing looking down on him, he didn't say a word and rested a hand on the railing as if considering something.

"Take a seat, Mr. Potter. I have spoken with, Hagrid who informed me of your class content. You may begin your assignment."

Harry turned towards the front row and set his bag down with Hermione's class notes. He wasn't entirely sure how long he was going to be there for but he had absolutely no doubt that he would be thrown out when required. By the time he'd sat, his Head of House had disappeared back into his office where he could hear shuffling around. He zoned out of this noise and focused on the task at hand. He wasn't particularly excited about this topic but he was so grateful that he had been able to skip the class that he would have done almost anything for his Professor.

Nearly two rolls of parchment later and Harry's hand began to cramp up, he had been on a roll and didn't want to stop but the moment he did, Professor Snape came out of his office and went down to stand before him. Taking a deep breath and massaging his hand, Harry glanced up then rolled the parchment together to signal he was finished.

Severus glanced at the time, he had actually forgotten that Harry had been there because it had been silent, and found himself wincing when he realised how late it was. He shouldn't have let it go on for so long.

"I apologise for keeping you so long." Taking the scrolls, he wrapped an arm around them to his chest and regarded the teen in front.

"At least it's done, sir." Harry replied and hastily packed his bag, being careful not to mess Hermione's notes up.

"Indeed."

Harry stood and glanced over his shoulder at the open door, when he turned back to the man he waited to be dismissed. Severus wanted to let the teen go, but he thought that before he did they would address what happened in class.

"Harry… I'm proud of you today." Severus said, surprising Harry but he told the truth, he had been really impressed with how their Defence class had panned out, "A snake is certainly interesting."

"It's not how it was supposed to go." Harry cast his eyes down again and his bangs covered his face.

"Your stag was definitely a signature for you, but this is a sign of change." Severus dropped his arm and placed the scrolls on his desk behind him.

"I wasn't even sure I could produce one."

"I know." Severus's voice was quiet which mirrored his students', but when Harry's head snapped up he continued, "Someone like you wouldn't shy away from confidently casting a charm he taught twenty odd students in his fifth year. So why the change?"

Harry took a moment to think of a response to the question, why the change? Well, which aspect of his life was the man expecting him to pinpoint? It was a loaded question and not particularly one he wanted to answer. He may not be feeling nauseous at the current moment in front of his Head of House but that didn't mean he wanted to divulge anything personal. So in the end he shrugged, it was going to be all his professor was going to get, take it or leave it.

"Very well then, head straight back to the common room." Severus waved his hand towards the door dismissing his student who was closing himself off and went to walk into his office.

. . .

It was a stuffy afternoon meeting, the autumn weather had taken a break and in the small meeting room it grew very warm. It was making Severus irritable as he listened to Minerva drone on about Halloween festivities. In the past they had done mystery dinners but this year, to celebrate the students coming back and creating some spirit within the castle she had decided to make an event out of it. Aparently, according to her, the Yule ball had been a raging success and the children had really taken to the spirit of it. He wasn't convinced and was adament he would be taking the night off.

At the end, Severus went to leave the room and was joined by the Headmistress who was also making her way down the corridor.

"Something on your mind, Severus?" She asked, holding a bundle of parchment as they walked.

"Nothing serious." He replied and he wasn't lying.

"Could have fooled me. You've been very quiet lately."

"And I usually – "

"Quieter than usual." She interjected and he stopped when they stood outside of the library.

It had been years since he had perused the shelves and admitted that he probably should search for something in particular. He pointed through the entrance and looked expectantly at the woman and she nodded before carrying on her way without further comments. He figured that he could look into spirit animals, not that he knew little on the subject, he infact knew a lot but the snake was not something he was familiar with and never seen one in person before. The usual cats and dogs, birds and butterflies definitely because they were things that majoirty of people loved, but never a serpent. Then there was a fact so blindingly obvious to him, and that was that for over a decade he had been teaching Potions, not Defence Against the Dark Arks. So, he felt he could justify being a little rusty.

There were a few students in the vast library at this time and he found the section he was looking for in record time, there were so many books in a comparibly small space that he walked slowly down one ailse until he came across some familiar names. There would have been a period of time when he was a student where he could have said that he had touched each book at least once, now however it was a little different.

Draco and Harry were studying in the library for their test in Transfiguration when familiar black robes had passed them by and the blonde wondered what he was doing there. Being curious as ever, he stood and told the brunette he'd be back.

Poking his head around the corner where he thought he'd seen their Professor disappear down he found the man standing in front of a section he knew only too well. He, Harry and Granger had been here many times over the days trying to find anything they could for various reasons. So he wondered why their Professor was there too.

"Evening, sir." Draco announced quietly and stood beside his Head of House.

"Mr. Malfoy." Severus gritted his teeth and resisted reaching out for the textbook he had been about to take.

"Find anything interesting?" Draco asked and reached out for one of the books that he had been coming back to look at almost every day, it had a lot on different spirit animals and figured it was why the man was here.

"Is there something you need, Mr. Malfoy?" Severus turned to address his student and glared, unamused at whatever game he was trying to start.

"It's a hotly debated topic. Try this." Draco pushed the book into Severus's hands and with a short glare himself turned to leave.

Placing the book on the bench, the man leaned on the edge with both hands and let his head fall forward. He was clearly making it too obvious around his interests and fought the surge in his anger that was only directed at himself. However, he took the book and went to see the Librarian; not seeing where Draco had gotten to until he was leaning across the bench as his book was processed. Over in one of the corners was Harry and Draco, the brunette was bent over a book furiously writing with his back to him whilst the blonde made eye contact.

When he arrived back in his office he put the book aside, wary of what he might find and busied himself with marking homework he had set. He stopped briefly when he was partway through the first students work when he considered the next lesson for his final year students. They were going to be working through passing messages with their patronus and he wondered if Harry was still a parsceltongue or if, when that part of Voldemorts soul was killed from within him, it was now gone.

The burning desire to know information finally cracked his concentration and he reached out for the book sitting on the edge of his desk. Flipping through the pages he found the serpent he so desperately wanted to interpret and skimmed through its pages. None of it made sense, the whole foundation of a Patronus was that the caster took that of what they loved and transformed that into positive engery. But the whole being of a snake was healing and remaining grounded, transforming ones life and venturing down new paths to self discovery. Nothing about Harry's current development suggested that.

 _Pull yourself together_ , he thought bitterly closing the book, he was far too busy to be mucking around with animal meanings and had homework to mark.

However, it didn't go away and during dinner it continued to niggle in the back of his mind to the point where he was no longer hungry. He couldn't understand where all this was coming from and the memory of his Doe approaching Harry floated to the front of his mind. No one had even noticed, they had all been so busy with their own charms, but _he_ had. It was maddening.

"Severus, I really must insist you disclose what's on your mind." Minerva commented, pulling her goblet from the air and holding it to the table, "Preferrably before our dinners float away." She continued.

Severus blinked and slipped his wand out to carefully place everything around them back on the table. They hadn't risen far, but enough that it would have caused the few people sitting at the end of the table to have noticed. Pushing his dinner away, he took a long sip of wine and sat back in his chair thoughtfully, arms resting on the chairs sides. His eyes sought out the one who was turning him into an inquisitive researcher and found a pair of green eyes already watching him. He gave the boy a sneer which caused a spark of recognition from the teen and he saw a light blush develop before his head turned the other way to the blonde Slytherin sitting next to him.

"Severus…" Minerva tapped his forearm and taking a deep breath, Severus glanced up at the ceiling before exhaling slowly.

"I need to speak with you both." He responded and drank the rest of his wine, standing after the Headmistress made a move to stand.

When Severus entered the Headmistress's office, he followed slowly and toyed with the handle of his wand, hesitating. It was curiosity more than anything that he wanted to find an explanation about but without sounding like he cared too deeply about the ex-Gryffindor, he wondered how he should approach the subject.

"You have our full attention." Minerva smiled, standing to the side of her desk for Albus to be apart of their conversation, "Severus has something to tell us, Albus."

"Severus has willingly come seeking our opinion, Minerva? Are you sure?" Dumbledore smiled in his protrait and straightened himself in his chair.

"You're hilarious." Severus snapped at Albus but his irritation was deflected, "Potter's patronus has changed." He stated seriously and Albus leaned forward in his seat.

"And? What is it?" The grey Wizard asked eagerly.

"A snake." Severus spat and motioned his frustration with his hands before falling into the chair in front of Minerva's large desk.

"A snake?" The Headmistress took the seat next to her colleague and looked to Albus for an explanation.

"And what is your question, Severus? Are you really surprised?" Albus stroked his beard and clasped both hands in his lap.

"Of course I am surprised, Albus. His patronus is the complete opposite of the stage he is at right now, no matter how many times I read the words _transformation_ and _healing_ in various books. The definition does not change." The Defence Professor made no effort to hide his confusion.

"What if it doesn't represent himself? What if, Severus, the snake is a representation of someone who possesses things that will help him heal?"

"What are you saying?" Severus narrowed his eyes.

"I think what Albus is trying to say that Harry has found someone who will help him heal and the snake is a representation of that." Minerva confirmed.

"Draco." Severus said and nodded, finally understanding, "I knew it, they became friends." At this he stood, but even he had to rethink what he'd just said.

Albus smiled at his colleagues stubborness but to hear that Draco and Harry were able to put aside their differences and become allies was certainly superb news. Of course, he wasn't going to impede on the man's belief that it wasn't a classmate Harry had latched on to because judging by Harry's actions, he himself wasn't aware of who the Pratronus represented. He also felt that Severus's happiness wasn't something to take lightly in a moment like this, so remained quiet as he watched the man pace slowly.

"Speaking of such student, he seems to have found his footing this year? Though I did hear of some leniency towards Hagrid's class the other day." Minerva enjoyed knowing everything that happened within the castle, it was one of the perks of being Headmistress but she would never disclose that to anyone.

"I won't ask how you found out about that, Minerva. I felt that it was in Potter's best interests that he not attend class in the forest. It is still very much a tough subject."

"I can't say I'm surprised." Albus commented from above.

"Neither can I, but you and I both know he cannot hide from this forever." Minerva said.

"I am aware of this fact. I also didn't want to cause another scene, because as you observed, he has _found his footing_." Severus drawled, not liking to have his judgement questioned.

"Do not patronise me, Severus. I know he hasn't written to his therapist yet and I suspect I will receive another owl. During the interim however, I will be lenient but _one_ wrong move that endangers the other students and I will be calling the man in to see Harry."

Severus took the threat with a pinch of salt and for the interest of this conversation simply nodded his understanding. Whilst Harry did seem to be keeping a level presence he didn't believe there was any way he was a cured patient. So, with the knowledge that the teen had made a friend, he excused himself from the Headmistresses office and made his way back to his own office.

"What do you think will happen when he realises?" Albus stroked his beard, sitting deep in thought but Minerva shook her head, staying out of it all.


	8. Chapter 8

.

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **Thank you so much for your comments. Sometimes it gets confusing whether or not I'm portraying them correctly, so I'm glad you're following it. :D**_

 **#Nixas:**

 _ **I'm so happy that I've balanced it right, thank you for your amazing comments! Fingers crossed you enjoy this much like you have the other chapters. I hope you find the angst to your liking for future chapters.**_

 _ **.**_

Severus entered the Great Hall and found his Defence students sitting at the large tables chatting quietly amongst each other. He had thought carefully about the lesson plan for today and elected to keep the setting as it was, getting the students to focus on a direction for their Patronus. This was going to be a difficult lesson, whilst most had mastered their spirit animal, communication wasn't an easy task and required a high level of concentration.

"Take a seat, we will cover the first part of the lesson." Severus tapped the table with the end of his wand to get their attention and all students sat along one table.

"As you will recall from our last lesson, to cast a patronus requires positive energy and force. Now, regardless of whether you have a partial or full shield, sending communications require the same level of effort and concentration."

At this Severus pulled his wand, showing the students various wand movements and taking the time to let them write it all down. In these moments, he looked towards Harry who was sitting at the end of the table, his book open but not even glancing in his direction or that of his book for that matter.

"Mr. Potter, is there a reason that you feel unobliged to take notes?" He was done with the teen's stubbornness and reckless behavior, he wouldn't be getting away with zoning out in his class anymore.

"No, sir." Was the short and quiet reply, then glanced at the Ravenclaw's notes in an attempt to catch up.

"Detention tonight, Potter. You can catch up then." He sighed with irritation and watched the brunettes face flame red.

"The incantation differs in this case, instead of casting your Patronus we say, _Patroni Megallium_ , repeat after me."

Harry quietly participated in the exercise feeling very exposed, he hadn't been called out for his wayward thoughts before. Well, only when they had been about to do the practical element of their lesson but they weren't anywhere close to that yet. He listened to the man drone on, he knew that he should be paying attention, this was a handy piece of knowledge but not necessary he thought to his current position. It all boiled down to the fact that there was no danger anymore, sure failing his last year would be concerning but he was far more competent than he ever believed. Perhaps the fact that he and his friends had been forced to grow up quicker than everyone else was a cause of this, perhaps not. But for now, he played with his quill and hoped something stuck.

"Split into pairs, one of you is to stand at the end of the hall and the other up here. We will practice sending messages down the length of the hall." Severus waved his hands in the directions of the tables and stood back as the students split up.

"I'll go." Draco said suddenly to Harry and stood, following Hermione down to the other end of the hall.

 _Suit yourself_ , Harry thought and went to the closest end by the doors waiting for his friend to get ready. Looking down at his wand, he recited the incantation and closed his eyes in an attempt to find his happy place. The emotion he felt wasn't nearly as strong as he needed but he didn't have a choice to stand back, his end was to go first.

Watching Ron from the corner of his eye, he saw the Labrador bound off down the hall and bark when it reached Hermione.

"Well done, Mr. Weasley." Severus commented as he walked past, noting how the red head stiffened at the praise.

Resisting to urge to roll his eyes at the juvenile reaction, he noted that Harry wasn't even trying to cast a thing so looking down the hall, he waved his wand at Draco and the teen nodded back to him.

Concentrating, Draco imagined his positive memory and whispered his message with a smirk. Directing the ball with his wand, he made the correct wand movement and watched as the ball floated towards his classmate. He heard a quiet amused noise from beside him and turned his head to find a shaking head and smile from Granger. She had a light expression on her face as she watched the message float away and when she made eye contact with him he felt his cheeks flush gently.

He needed to concentrate on his spell and it was nearly at his target but felt his heart sink when he realized that their Head of House was still standing next to Harry. He would clearly be able to hear the message and suddenly felt silly for his immature choice.

" _Bit beyond your reach, Potter?_ "

Draco's voice sounded as if it were wrapped in silk the way it came from the ball and a faint image of his face could be seen floating within the orb.

Harry narrowed his eyes at the reference. Nothing was beyond his reach, not on a broom or in spells. _Might help if you could actually touch a broom_ , he thought suddenly and the positive mood he was in prior took a sour turn. He wasn't going to be able to do this and especially not with his Professor standing there watching.

Severus contained his reaction and noted how Harry seemed to self-implode and lower his wand. Frowning and moving forward, he stood directly behind his Slytherin and whispered into his ear. The warm breath tickled Harry's ear and his eye lids fluttered shut briefly. Lifting his arm, he made the incantation, using the current feelings to fuel his patronus. The snake materialized from his wand and landed on the ground in a coil, looking back at him, tongue licking the air. Concentrating on the message element, he spoke softly and pointed his wand towards Draco at the other end of the hall.

"Well done." Severus purred into his ear, not having moved from before.

Harry was rather short in comparison and as Severus put his hands behind his back, he leaned forward, not touching the teen in anyway as he spoke. For someone who hadn't listened in class he clearly had a knack for this type of magic. He wondered what more he could teach the teen if he had already mastered this. Perhaps he had gotten ahead of himself by assigning detention; then again, he could always make the boy have it with someone else.

" _I could beat you at anything."_

The snake slithered around Draco and hissed in his face before wrapping itself into a coil, making hissing gestures and sitting idly at the other end of the hall. Harry relaxed his shoulders when he felt his Professor's presence disappear and let out the breath he had been holding also. There was an odd sensation working its way down his spine but the moment it disappeared, so did his patronus.

The students looked exhausted after their lesson, Severus wasn't surprised. He had been extremely impressed by the competence displayed by all students and decided he would ramp things up for their next lesson, take it to the next level. He had promised the students he would do so when occurrences such as this arose.

"I wish we had of learned this during the war. Think of how handy it would have been." Hermione commented at the end of the lesson.

Harry nodded, though she wasn't directly speaking to him and when he stood up straight he saw her wandering off with Ron. Draco came to stand next to him and they watched before turning to each other.

"She's right." Harry muttered and Draco agreed.

The brunette rubbed his face tiredly and was suddenly aware of how exhausted he was. His hands were shaking gently and swallowing a lump in his throat, his eyes were hard to keep open. Appreciating the fact that they had finished their last class for the day, Harry dragged his feet and slung his bag onto a shoulder. He was going to sink into his bed.

"Where are _you_ going?" Draco called after him but he didn't reply, he just didn't have the energy.

Dinner came and went and Harry was lying face first on his covers, mouth parted slightly as he slept deep. Draco and Blaise were standing at the side of the bed, the blonde with his arms folded as they watched their newest house mate.

"You wake him." Blaise said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Potter!" He barked, but it didn't rouse him.

"Shake him or something." Blaise said again, looking over his shoulder at the door.

"Potter!" Draco ground out once more and leaned forward so he was in Harry's face.

When neither of the attempts roused the Slytherin, Draco was about to rush forward and shake him when the door opened and both teens stood aside. Wide eyed and anxious, they addressed their Head of House who stepped forward with distaste and eyed the teen lying on the bed.

"What seems to be the issue, boys." Severus's voice was low, he had been tired of waiting in the common room for Harry to emerge.

"We were trying to wake him, sir." Blaise said quickly, and cast his eyes down.

Coming closer, Severus frowned at the state the boy appeared to be in. He was extremely pale in the face but his hair seemed to be damp. Reaching out, he pulled the boys shoulder and his body flopped at the movement. Feeling his forehead, it was burning and on closer inspection his pulse was through the roof. He stood up and looked at the teen critically, there appeared to be no obvious sign that something would have caused this, it was like he was developing a fever.

"Sir?" Draco's voice was small, he recognized that expression his Head of House had, it wasn't good.

"He's reaching a fever, Malfoy. Can you think of anything that would cause this?" Severus's voice was tense and he reached forward against to check the teen's heart rate.

"No, I – we spend almost all day with each…" He trailed off and looked at his friends left sleeve, he could see a dot of red on the fabric of his jumper.

"Yes, Malfoy?" Severus prompted, and moved followed the blonde's eyeline to the boys left arm.

Taking the hot hand in his own, he turned it over and lifted the sleeve. His blood boiled at what he saw and ripped the sleeve all the way up to his elbow. Sliding the blood soaked Slytherin tie off the arm, he saw two very angry, very purple looking cuts that were starting to turn a yellow green colour. They were severely infected and needed medical attention immediately.

With no response still from his Slytherin, he made the executive decision to get the boy into the Infirmary for treatment. Without wasting another second, he scooped Harry up in his arms and pushed his way through the common room. A lot of people took the opportunity to stop and watch what was happening but he took no notice of them.

"What are you all _looking_ at?" Draco barked when he was in the middle of the common room.

A lot of people suddenly turned back to what they were doing at that point but Pansy approached him and Blaise, wanting to know what was going on. The blonde shook his head and then gave Blaise a look that told him not to say a word, to which he didn't and they both walked the path their Head of House had. She tagged along, not wanting to miss anything and the three Slytherins left the common room.

Madame Pomfrey was surprised to see Severus this late at night and even more so when she saw him carrying a student.

"Severus, what's happened?" She fussed about, following him to the first bed.

"Mr. Potter has two untreated wounds on his left arm. The infection is working its way through his body and he has a dangerous fever."

"I see." She moved to the left of the bed and inspected the cuts for a moment before waving her wand.

The three Slytherin students slinked into the room and stood off to the side, out of the way. Severus glared at them but didn't say anything. He took this moment to reflect on the behavior of his Slytherin's this year, they had taken well to a Gryffindor being sorted into his house. He would have expected some form of backlash, especially from the Pureblood families but it seemed he had been proven wrong.

Guess it was a different time for all of them really. Severus couldn't deny that things had changed between he and Harry; but he was desperately trying to retain the upper hand and keep their tense relationship in check.

"Severus, could you?" Madame Pomfrey held out her hand and he took the potion, "All of it." She continued as she applied a strong salve to the abused flesh.

Holding the back of Harry's neck, he rose his chest and was able to administer the potion. The boys body instinctively swallowed the contents which was a good sign, he wasn't fully unconscious.

"Right, he will be fine." Poppy was putting the final bandages on her patients arm and then stood back. "He will come round in the morning, what you just gave him was a strong sleeping draught."

"I would never have guessed." Severus muttered to himself and there was a quiet giggle from where the three Slytherin students stood.

Pansy was enjoying her Professor's quip but when both adults turned to face them she shrunk behind Blaise and bit her lip to remain quiet.

"Now, you three, it is very late and I must insist you head back to the common room. Severus I'll let you deal with that. Please, do not try and rouse him."

Once Poppy had left the room, Severus eyed the three of them seriously. Judging by the guilty expression he was getting from one student in particular, there was more to the story than what was obvious.

"Miss. Parkinson, Mr. Zabini; you may both go back to the common room if you're done here. Mr. Malfoy, you and I are going to have a chat." Severus straightened and looked at the blonde with a dark expression.

Pansy bit her lip and pulled Blaise over to where there new Slytherin was lying. They didn't stay long however but were still there when Severus nodded to the corridor, indicating for Draco to follow.

Once they were in his classroom, Severus slammed the door and strode over to his student, looking over him angrily.

"Sir, I only noticed it a day ago. I wasn't going to pry; he seemed very closed off about it." Draco rushed out.

Severus was admittedly angry at this but he couldn't say that he blamed the teen for not intervening. It was in the nature of a Slytherin to keep to themselves, even though this was a serious matter he wasn't going to reprimand the teen. Not yet anyway. It troubled him with Harry's mental stability, that he was not of a sane mind.

"Is he going to be okay, sir?" Draco's words brought him back to the present.

"He will live. What happened however cannot continue. Draco," He took the boy by his shoulders and shook him gently to get his point across, "this cannot continue. If this happens again, you need to let someone know."

"But, sir – "

"I was not asking, Draco. You will do what I tell you, whether you like it or not." Severus interrupted.

Swallowing, Draco nodded. He hadn't seen the man this wound up for a long time and he knew this was serious. _Stupid, Potter_ , he thought bitterly but there was worry in there too. He just wanted to get through school without all this drama but it seemed that he was going to be sucked into it.

In the morning, Draco made his way to the Infirmary only to find his Professor had beaten him to it. Harry was sitting on the edge of the bed looking very chagrinned and the thought pleased him.

"Good, Malfoy you're here. Take, Mr. Potter to the hall and make sure he eats something."

"Yes, sir." Draco came and stood at the end of the bed.

"And, Potter?" He waited until sad, tired green eyes looked up at him, "Detention tonight, since you missed it yesterday. I will be watching _very_ closely." He narrowed his eyes and leaned closer to the boys face, watching in satisfaction as he swallowed nervously.

There was no verbal response, but a nod was seen.

Once the man had left, Harry stood up slowly and shook his head in frustration. He felt quite weak but it was more a feeling of being run down. Draco looked quite upset with him; he could only image what Hermione had to say if she found out; the realization caused his stomach to knot tightly.

"So, at least you got what you deserved." Draco huffed.

"Detention and the promise of being stalked?" Harry replied with equal indignation.

"I hate to say it, Harry; but you need to get help. At least talk to someone."

"You sound exactly like him." Harry replied as they walked towards the hall.

"And he knows what he's talking about. Shit, most of us can relate to what you're experiencing. Professor Snape has a lot of miles on him and he's seen a lot."

"You sound like you know him pretty well."

"I do. He's been around my family for as long as I can remember." Draco winced at his own admission, Harry didn't visually react to it though.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Then don't abuse yourself." Draco snapped, but then his face grew softer, "Your choice."

Harry hadn't even managed to reach the Slytherin table when Hermione came bounding up to him. She hugged him tightly but he hadn't been prepared for it and stumbled backwards. She apologized when she let go and immediately asked him what had happened.

"I overheard Pansy talking about you. Most of the school knows you had some kind of accident, so what happened?"

Harry groaned and pushed himself away, sitting at the table. She came and sat next to him but he didn't want to talk. Draco was on the other side of him and started to put some food on his plate.

"I'm not a child." He grumbled but he had no choice, even looking at the head table he found an unnerving darkness in his Professor's eyes that meant he had been serious about what he said.

"Harry?" Hermione looked worried and rightly so but she didn't get anything out of her friend.

Instead, the three of them sat in silence. Hearing familiar jesters entering the hall, it went silent for a moment before whispers made their way into Harry's ears. He was afraid to turn around but if he had of he would have seen the Gryffindor students looking at him, piercing his back with their glares. A comment was made by Seamus but he took no notice of it and went to stand.

"Professor Snape said eat. Sit down." Draco pulled his sleeve down and the action made him wince.

Pulling his hand away quickly the blonde apologized and glared at the Gryffindor's but it was to no avail. He felt himself falling, spiraling into the frequently travelled despair he had experienced many times prior. Everything around him lost all meaning and consequence. He didn't care what he'd done. It was worth it. It was all worth it.

He had no appetite, he didn't want to eat this rubbish. It tasted of good times and happy memories that were gone. Destroyed when he was killed at the hands of Voldemort. His stomach lurched uncomfortably and he went to stand once again. This time he went uncontested and stormed out of the hall, wanting to get away from it all.

Hermione looked at Draco worriedly but he didn't know what to say to her. Did he tell her the truth and then get asked a thousand questions? He wouldn't go anywhere near as far to say they were acquaintances, she was just another student that attended Hogwarts; and who also helped save the Wizarding world.

Shaking his head he kept to himself, it was something he did well.

 **.**

Standing in the doorway to his Defence classroom, his Professor was sitting at his desk, hunched over marking homework. He wondered what he would be doing for his detention, if he were honest, the day had completely drained him. He hoped it wouldn't be anything strenuous.

"Good evening, Mr. Potter. Come, take a seat." Severus didn't look up, instead continuing what he was writing.

Nervously, Harry made his way into the class room and sat in the second row, wanting some distance between the two of them. Sighing, Harry entertained himself by fidgeting with the sleeve of his jumper, awaiting his fate. He had to remember that the reason for his detention in the first place was because he failed to pay attention in class, however, from the events that had transpired after, he figured the motives would be different. He was expecting a tongue lashing.

"I'm going to give you a choice, Potter." Severus drawled, pulling Harry's attention as they sat silently.

"Option one; taking this seriously, we are going to have a chat about what led to your self harm. Or, option two; you remain silent, write your lines for detention and tomorrow I sit down with the Headmistress and tell her what happened yesterday. I will give you a moment to weight up your choice."

Harry sat there looking at the man with a blank expression; he wouldn't consider either option viable for him right now. What did the man want him to say exactly anyway, providing he took option one. Would they sit over a pot of tea and share their life stories? The whole reason for all of this was because he clearly couldn't cope. Whether he be alone or with friends. It had been a friend that had set him off this time, how could he be sure it wouldn't happen again? What was the man going to do to change that?

Option two, no. Absolutely not. If the Headmistress knew about this she would be calling in Dr. Fletcher immediately. He couldn't go through with that again. The man opened wounds that he had preferred to stay closed and this only caused him more pain. He had no control over that, over where the sessions would lead. The suit would pick something he said and then make him analyze it until he felt numb.

This was a no win situation.

"Time is up." Severus finally looked up and saw apprehension shining brightly in the teen's eyes.

"Option three?" Harry tried.

"Psychiatric ward at St. Mungos." Severus was too quick for Harry to have even seen that coming and his eyes went wide at the immediate vision he had of stark white walls.

"The moment Professor McGonagall finds out about this… she'll make me contact the man I was seeing before school started. Sir, I can't do that again. Please." Harry was sitting up and hated how desperate he sounded, but he felt as though he was backed into a corner.

"Then it's St. Mungo's or myself." Severus stood proudly behind his desk, knowing full well the teen would be talking to him soon enough.

He was correct, option one it was.

Walking to the door of his classroom, Severus shut it and placed a simple locking charm on it to stop wayward students wandering in on their chat. He then came back towards the front and settled against a desk in the front row, looking down on his Slytherin.

"Look at me." Severus wanted to know that Harry was going to take this seriously, he still wasn't going to rule out informing the Headmistress if he thought he could sit there silently.

"Please don't." Harry's voice was a whisper and Severus frowned.

"Please, don't what, Potter?"

"Say that." He replied, his eyes not quite meeting Severus's, "It was the last thing you said to me." Harry continued, he figured since he was there to talk he would do just that even though he wasn't at all happy about it.

"Does this still cause you pain?"

"It haunts me."

Severus regarded the teen. _It haunts him? Seeing a man die in front of you would cause some pain but why is he still hung up over it?_ Pursing his lips, he watched the teen finally look up at him with sad eyes and he found himself nodding.

He couldn't deny that his death haunted even him, but it shouldn't have been like that for Harry. He wasn't the one that – died – in the Shrieking Shack but he was beginning to think that it was in that room where things changed between them both. Up until that point, Severus had given the teen nothing but anguish and pain to deal with so he could have easily looked down on him with disgust as he lay there, blood pouring out of his neck. Instead he didn't, he and his annoying Gryffindor friends had rushed to his aid; well, Potter had attempted to.

"We are all victims of the war."

Harry wanted to huff with amusement. Sentiment wasn't going to make him feel better. It wasn't going to make up for the guilt he felt, knowing that his Professor had risked so much to then be treated like the ultimate devil. Unwillingly, he was catapulted back in his memories, it had been too late once he'd used the penseive to go back and find his Professor. The man would have been dead. He wanted to tell him he was sorry, tell him he was eternally grateful. Could he do this now?

Just seeing the pain playing on his students face was enough for Severus to know there was a lot not being said. Harry was struggling, he was trying to bury his demons. Forget they existed. This was going to get him no where.

"What happened the other day? Why did you feel the need to hurt yourself?" Severus folded his arms, patiently waiting for an answer.

Good question, what _had_ tipped him to that point? _Oh, Hermione. Ordinary._ His mouth twisted as he remembered the conversation vividly. He was now just an ordinary teen with no special qualities what so ever. His classmates had caught up to him academically and he no longer could produce a Patronus charm. How wonderfully ordinary.

"A falling out with a friend."

"And this friend wouldn't happen to be, Miss. Granger?" His question was answered by a hesitant nod, "The two of you were known for your weekly spats, what went so wrong this time?"

 _She's jealous. She's ordinary, and you're special._

Putting his hands to his head and desperately gripping onto his lengthy bangs, he pulled. He wanted the memories to stop haunting him. He wanted the words to stop running through his head. He wanted everything to stop. The young Severus Snape was so vulnerable and that was how Harry felt right now. Helpless.

"She called me out on something. It felt like she opened a wound and then poured salt into it."

"What did she say to you, Potter?" Severus wanted the teen to spit it out, to give him specifics and not the ambiguous answers he was getting.

"You're going to disagree… but I can't cast a full body patronus – "

"Incorrect, I have seen you cast it twice successfully." Harry frowned at the interruption and glared when the man finished to indicate he still had something to say.

"Prior to class, I wasn't able to. She saw me practicing before class and went into her memorized textbook answer about powerful Wizards versus ordinary ones. She said I was an ordinary individual now that I couldn't cast a full patronus. It was bad enough that I'd lost my stag but to be told I wasn't a strong Wizard made something inside me snap."

Severus listened intently, putting an idea to the back of his mind for later analysis.

"I panicked. I've died once before too, technically speaking. So the idea of inflicting pain made me feel in control. I don't know – it's hard to explain."

Severus let out a loud sigh and nodded slowly, his lips setting in a thin line.

"Mr. Potter, I can tell you right now, without hesitation that you are not a weak person. In fact, you are the opposite. You are a very brave and strong individual, one who can recklessly defeat the Dark Lord without having to _actually_ utter a single killing spell."

"Thanks." Harry muttered, but he only said it to fill the silence that followed what his Head of House had said.

"It was not a compliment, it was meant as reassurance."

Harry rolled his eyes, feeling silly. Looking to the side, he focused on a shelf and the contents it held. He knew it had been too easy for him to say something and have it praised or acknowledged without a sneer. Clearly the man hadn't changed all that much and the bitterness still remained.

"As for the act of inflicting pain. There are many healthier ways to gain control over your life than cutting flesh."

 _Duh_ , Harry thought.

"You can start by ignoring what, Miss. Granger said to you and what she says from here out. I believe you are a regular visitor in the Room of Requirement, perhaps turning your frustrations into constructive spell casting could be a better use for your wand."

 _Not a bad idea,_ Harry considered it and nodded.

"Potter, I need to know you aren't going to be a risk to yourself." Harry frowned and made eye contact with his Professor.

"Sir?"

"Are you going to take on board anything I have said? Or do I need to maintain a close eye on you for the rest of the year?"

 _That sounds exhausting_ , Harry shook his head and sighed, dropping his shoulders mostly out of exhaustion. He really just wanted to go to bed.

"The next time I feel overwhelmed, I will go to the Room of Requirement."

"And?"

"… And utilize my dueling skills on a mannequin rather than myself."

Severus hummed lightly and rubbed his chin thoughtfully before giving a curt nod. He wasn't entirely convinced they reached any conclusions for behaviour or even remotely came close to uncovering issues that he had; but it was a start. Regarding Harry carefully, he looked tired and his face was pale. Deciding to call it a night, he dismissed the teen and insisted he escort the boy back to the common room.

"Professor?" Harry stopped short of the common room and called the man back as we started walking into the darkness.

"Are you going to tell, Professor McGonagall about this?" He had walked over to the man and spoken quietly.

"Not today, Potter." But at the relieved look he received, Severus narrowed his eyes and moved so he was standing very close to the boy, " _However_ , pull another stunt such as this and you can guarantee that I will be informing her accordingly. You must show me that you are not a risk to yourself."

"Yes, sir." Harry _was_ relieved and wasn't bothered with not hiding it.

At this, his Professor turned and walked away, leaving him standing in the cold corridor alone. His wrist was all healed now, but there were scars and he placed a hand over his jumper where they were. He wanted to believe the man hadn't changed so he could hold onto some of that hatred they both had for one another but he couldn't. They'd seen each other vulnerable and concluded this was going to be a turning point for them.


	9. Chapter 9

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 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **Damn, I'll have a re-read of it and see where I went wrong. :D Thanks for the response.**_

 **#michaela-uzuamaki:**

 _ **I am so glad you've opening up to Snarry. I hope this story doesn't disappoint in future chapters.**_

 **#bluemews:**

 _ **I'll update as quick as I can for you!**_

 **#Erin92486:**

 _ **There was never a 'fall-out' between Harry and the therapist. His hesitance just stems from the fact that he doesn't really want to address his issues. He hates that all of the pain gets brought back up again when all he wants to do is bury it and move on. Of course, sometimes it works and others it doesn't. There will never be a right or wrong answer because everyone is different.**_

 _ **But thank you for your feedback :D**_

 _ **I hope this next chapter lives up to your expectations.**_

 **#HelloDenmark:**

 _ **Thanks for your comments. Regular followers of my work may tell you that I like to draw out the build up and tease you with 'what if's' before I give you the goodies. This story will be no different, although I don't believe their relationship is the goal of this story.**_

 **#Heather Hainsworth:**

 _ **Yay, I am so happy you're enjoying this!**_

 _ **.**_

 **Again, thank you so much for all the comments!**

 _ **.**_

Harry applied pressure to the man's wounds, blood was flowing freely but he attempted to stop it. Crouching over his body, something pulled at his heart. He had been ready to kill him but overhearing what Voldemort had said, toying with him and discarding this Wizard like he had; it made Harry realize they weren't so different after all. Just pawns in the game.

"Look at me."

Black eyes seemed to be searching for something. Harry's heart was beating furiously and was overcome by numbness when a lone tear slipped down the mans cheek. This wasn't right, it shouldn't have happened this way. He had to do something.

"Hermione, a flask – _anything_." His voice cracked and she rummaged around in her bag painfully slowly.

Turning back to the man, there was no movement, the light had vanished from his eyes. He screamed, fisted the robes beneath him and shook the body gently. He kept repeating – _no, no_ – but nothing was going to change this. Severus Snape was dead.

Harry was chanting, rocking back and fourth. He was alone with the man now, the room was dark and eerily quiet. No, there was a mirror. It looked familiar. _The Mirror of Erised._ It loomed over them both, towering high above them in a mocking fashion. He could see his reflection as the mirror slid closer to him but he couldn't see anyone else.

When he looked down at his Professor, the man was gone but his hands were covered in blood. It dripped onto the dusty wooden floors. He was alone. Lifting his gaze to the mirror he could see the outlines of something appearing. It was a man who had shoulder length hair. Dark hair. His robes were dark but as the image grew closer he could see they were a dark purple.

"Professor." He whispered but when the image became clear he gasped as he saw himself.

This wasn't how the mirror worked, he wasn't the happiest man on earth. He was the opposite. He had desires, he had dreams. He had a life that he should be living.

"Where's my life? Give me my life!" He shouted, crawling over to the glass and banging on it desperately, drawing bloody smears across it.

He was ordinary. He was nothing. To anyone.

Eyes snapped open in the darkness and Harry was aware of how fast his heart was beating. Swallowing he focused on calming his breath before he did anything else. A dream, just what he needed following the conversation with his Professor. He wanted to stay far away from the man; not only did he have nightmares of dying but now he was reliving the moment his Professor had died also. _Fantastic_ , he thought bitterly.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he took the vial in his hand and squeezed it gently. _Mother, make this all go away_ , he thought sadly and dared to close his eyes again. It had been a nightmare but hadn't left him in a sweaty mess like usual, so he was able to get himself back into a position for more sleep.

Unfortunately an alarm went off and Harry groaned, pulling his pillow over his head to silence the noise. He wasn't particularly excited about today, they had their next Defence lesson and no doubt they'd be covering the patronus charm for the rest of the week. He had been too scared to practice between classes in fear that his suspicions around his ability to cast it were correct.

Speaking of being ordinary, Hermione was making her way over to him before Charms with a worried expression. Ron was trailing behind her with Seamus and he bristled at them when he looked past her. He still felt bitter about what she'd said to him and quite frankly he was done with all of them. The only person he wanted to remotely be around was Draco but the teen was late for class and he felt defenseless.

"Harry – "

He ignored her calls and walked into the classroom, finding a seat up the back. She came to stand in front of his with hands on her hips but he refused to look up from the desk, taking his books out of his bag. She was trying to get his attention but he pointedly ignored her until she huffed and went to walk away.

"Ignore him, 'Mione." He heard Ron say and there was a comment made by Seamus but he couldn't make out what it was.

He glanced up at Seamus and the Irishman was looking straight at him with an amused sneer. Harry glared back at him but was then distracted when a flustered Draco came barreling into the room and took a seat beside him.

"What happened to _you_?" Harry said without thinking but Draco shook his head.

On closer inspection, the disheveled look he was going for this morning looked suspiciously like he had just woken up. His eyes were red and hair fell over his face, which was very uncharacteristic for the blonde. He didn't push the issue however and then Professor Flitwick started the class.

During their practical element, Harry leaned on his desk in a bored fashion and twirled his wand, looking up at the window for something to do. Draco on the other hand was muttering the charm they were supposed to be practicing but nothing appeared to be happening. Turning his head, Harry went on to watch him trying but there was something in the blonde's eyes that seemed troubled.

"I have nightmares _too_." He whispered, not meeting the brunettes eye.

Harry looked away, he hadn't realised he'd been staring but the comment had definitely reminded him that he wasn't the only person struggling with things at school. He wondered if the teen wanted to talk about it or if he should just leave it. Draco always asked _him_ if he wanted to talk, so perhaps he could lend an ear also. They were after all, very much in this together.

 _Wonder what he even dreams about_ , Harry thought, effectively checking out of the lesson to brainstorm possible scenerios. _He has a dark mark, I wonder what goes into an initiation like that_. He didn't believe it would be a very attractive one, or pain free. _I bet he has nightmares about Voldemort, probably about his father too_. Voldemort _was_ intimidating but he assumed that was because he'd simply lost his mind, no one was ever going to reason with the mentally deranged. Lucius was incarcerated too, he'd lost an idol he supposed. Draco seemed like the type of person who would worship his parents, _let's not forget his favourite line._ He snorted aloud at this.

When class was over and they packed away their books, Harry took that opportunity to ask if everything was alright. The blonde looked at him hesitantly before chucking his bag over his shoulder.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not sure. Best not." He replied and Harry nodded, respectfully keeping his distance from the topic.

Quietly, they made their way outside towards Hagrid's for Care of Magical Creatures. There was always a point where they got to the bridge and Harry's heart started to beat a little harder, he could never tell if they were going to be venturing into the forest but reminded himself to trust his Professor in letting him know.

"'Arry!" He looked down the hill once they crossed the bridge and the Giant was half running towards him.

Looking sideways at the rest of his year level walking past him, he stopped and waited for Hagrid to catch his breath. It took a lot of energy to run up the hill, even more so for someone his size. There seemed to be hesitance behind his large eyes.

"Hi, 'Arry. Look, I forgot to tell 'yer Professor Snape about today's lesson." Harry's heart sank.

"The forest?" He asked and Hagrid nodded.

"I'll go and see him now. I – "

"No need to explain, 'Arry. Yer forget… I were there." With his large hand, Hagrid patted his shoulder and the Giant gave him a tight smile.

Turning around, he saw Draco standing there anxiously and he went over as Hagrid went back to his hut where the rest of them were gathering.

"I can't do it." Harry said by way of explanation.

"Okay, well I'll see you at lunch." The blonde replied, taking a step back before turning his back and walking down the hill.

Harry supposed he should go and seek out his Head of House; if he remembered correctly the man didn't have a class at this time. It didn't particularly bother him if he did, he'd just go to the library or Room of Requirement. Hermione was walking towards him, he wondered if she'd seen him speaking with Hagrid as he walked the other way.

She knew he'd been avoiding her and honestly, she couldn't blame him. She'd thought a lot about what she'd said to him and wanted to make amends. It wasn't right for her to have said what she did, it had been the wrong wording. No, she was going to make things up. If he wasn't going to class, that obviously meant they were going to the forest, and if that were the case then he'd need someone's notes to catch up and write his essay.

Harry knocked softly on his Professor's door, the classroom was empty and the man was standing behind his desk sifting through a large pile of parchment. When Professor Snape looked up, there was a moment of surprise before recognition set in and he was beckoned forward with two fingers.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, sir."

"What can I do for you, Potter?" Severus stopped what he was doing and leaned with his hands on the desk, bent over slightly.

"Well, I thought that I should tell you I'm not going to be in class right now." Harry replied awkwardly and the man gave him a pained expression as if not understanding.

"Care of Magical Creatures, sir. Hagrid said he's going into the forest." He clarified and the man nodded in response.

"I see. What are your intentions for the next two hours then?" Severus stood up fully and watched his Slytherin look uncomfortable.

"Uh – Well…"

"Potter, forgive me for sounding blunt; but this fear you have of the forest needs to be addressed. You cannot keep missing class no matter how dull or insignificant you believe it to be."

"I-I know, sir."

"Tell you what. To save face, I will allow you to stay here and study. If you do not have all the materials you need to do such activity I will allow you ten minutes to get everything you need from your dormitory."

Harry stared at him blankly.

"Unless you'd rather accompany me to the edge of the forest where we can chat about what happened."

"Study sounds good." Harry rushed out once his mind caught up and went to take a seat in the front row, off to the side that was closest to the wall.

 _Thought so._ Severus smirked and then busied himself, organizing his student's homework. As he did this, he wondered why Harry had such a strong reaction to the forest. Obviously, he knew why there was a fear but he was beginning to question how well the teen's therapy sessions had gone. Surely they'd covered things like this, it would have been part of the package. So why the hesitance still?

"Morning, Severus." He looked up to find the Headmistress walking into his classroom but her gaze found Harry quickly and she visibly grew curious, "And you, Potter."

Harry froze when he looked up and saw her approaching, he hadn't even thought of informing her also. His stomach immediately knotted when he realized this would be another black mark against his name, she could easily use this to bring in Dr. Fletcher and this wasn't something he wanted. His face paled as he choked out a quiet greeting.

"Last I checked you had Care of Magical Creatures, Mr. Potter."

Dread. He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off when his Head of House spoke up instead.

"I have withdrawn, Mr. Potter from that class today. I did not see it fit to have him in class amidst some current issues he is facing. Issues, which we are working through."

Harry's head turned slowly in the man's direction, his expression was blank and he watched in admiration how the man could openly lie so easily to the Headmistress. Stupidly, he overlooked the fact that his Professor had been a spy and possibly frequently lied to Voldemort.

"Is this true, Potter?"

"Y-Yes, Headmistress." He stumbled and watched the woman purse her lips before moving on with the reason she was there.

Putting his head down, Harry worked away silently and blocking out their conversation. It was a welcome relief that she didn't stop to ask him anymore questions as she went to leave. But once she did, Harry risked a glance at his Professor and the man was looking at him.

Severus raised his eyebrow at Harry and looked at him expectantly before disappearing up the stairs into his office. Harry had a feeling this meant he would be making payment for the flawless excuse he had executed, and instead of fearing the outcome he let a small smile cross his lips before he chewed his lip.

 _Slytherins._

Meeting back up with Draco at lunch, they sat in companionable silence. However, this was soon destroyed when they were both confronted with a girl full of bushy curls and heaving with books. Harry forced a short glare her way and Draco pointedly ignored her but she was not to be discouraged. She knew that Slytherin's would stick together so their act was useless on her.

"I thought you might want these." She said, pushing her notebook forward and against his plate.

Acting like he hadn't noticed it at first, Harry took a moment before looking at the book and seeing it was her notes from class. He then looked up at her and found her expression troubling. Taking a deep breath and sagging his shoulders, he put on a small smile.

"Thanks, Hermione. You really didn't – "

"I know you missing class will mean another essay for Professor Snape. I figured I'd save you the trouble of trying to find someone who had decent notes." He eyes immediately flicked to Draco as she said it because she had seen the blonde hadn't written anything down.

Harry too got that vibe but he didn't dare look at his friend in fear of making things worse. He was having a rough day today and Harry remembered when the blonde had stood up for him not too long ago when he was tired.

"I appreciate it, thanks." He replied and she smiled fully at him.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have been so insensitive. I know this all means a lot to you and I really hadn't thought about it hurting you like it did. Would you maybe be able to forgive me?"

Throughout her speaking, Draco had looked up and was watching her. He wondered if his friend had informed the Ravenclaw about what had happened once they'd had that chat. If she knew he'd cut himself because of what she said had forced him over the edge.

He met Harry's eye and then cast his eyes at the teens left wrist that had been so brutally set upon. Having seen this, the brunette pulled on his sleeve self-consciously but didn't say anything. He wasn't going to enlighten Hermione with something like this and he hoped Draco respected his privacy with it.

"It's fine, Hermione." He replied after a while and she smiled.

"Hogsmede weekend is coming up, let me buy you a Butterbeer."

Harry puffed air through his nose and nodded, agreeing to her offer.

With lunch done, the three students started walking towards their Defence class only to find their Professor walking towards them. He didn't say a word and they frowned, wondering if their lesson was going to be held in the Great Hall again. Shrugging, Harry turned back to follow and he was indeed correct with his assumption. Had he missed the memo?

Hermione split off from them when they sat and Harry pulled his books out, making sure to listen and take notes this time around so he didn't get into trouble. He still owed the man for his class earlier and didn't want to rock the boat.

"Today we will be continuing with casting messages. There is not much theory to continue with this, therefore I want you to get straight into it." Severus didn't have anything with him, he figured that they students would take up most of the lesson with their practical.

Rolling his eyes, Harry packed away his books and joined Draco in standing. Of course he wouldn't need his books. Served him right for being organized for once. However, his sarcastic thoughts were going to get him nowhere and he needed to focus. Anything could happen this lesson, he still wasn't convinced he'd be able to cast a full body patronus without help.

Draco was now at the end of the hall, his wand raised. Taking a deep breath, Harry closed his eyes and prepared himself for his turn. He only opened them when Draco's voice silkily oozed from the ball.

" _You alright, Potter? You seem distracted?"_

Grumbling at his observant classmate, he took a deep breath and bit his lip. Preparing the spell, he had it on his lips as he conjured a happy memory. However, his heart sank when nothing came from his wand. Looking at the end of it, his face twisted into something mixed between disappointment and sadness.

 _Okay, focus. Happy memory. My parents, their smiles always made me feel something. They're talking to me. Reassuring me._

He lifted his wand to cast the charm but nothing happened once again. Growling he disappeared from view across the hall and crouched low, his head in his hands. _Focus. Happiness. What brings me happiness?_ He was growing more and more frustrated when he realized there weren't anything remotely happy in his life. Even the memory of his parents had faded into reminding him of death.

Severus was on the other side of the hall when he saw a pained Harry Potter drop to the floor and he craned his neck to see what was wrong. A blue message was floating towards the teen from Draco but when it arrived, his newest Slytherin seemed to panic. Wondering what all the fuss was about he took his own wand out and cast his Doe. It danced across the room, causing some students to stop and watch as it stopped in front of Harry and he noted as the teen's expression changed when he saw it.

" _Potter, if there is something wrong, come and tell me."_

Blinking, Harry looked over at the man was standing there with an ambivalent expression. The doe was still standing there when he stood and he took a deep breath. _Damn, he noticed_ , Harry thought and worried his lip as he considered what the man had said. He was aware that Draco was standing at the end of the hall wondering what on earth was going on but Harry felt conflicted. He had _told_ Professor Snape that he couldn't cast it, at least not with out the man's help. Evidently each time he had successfully cast his patronus it had been when the Doe was by him and the man standing behind him.

What did that mean? Hermione's comment rang through his mind – _your love has changed –_ He shivered, what about his love had changed? Did he love Severus Snape? His face paled and he had difficulty swallowing, both literally and metaphorically. Looking at the man once more he found himself spiraling into the despair he was so used to feeling.

Breaking him from these thoughts, he felt a presence push against his palm and looking down the Doe was urging him. To do what, he wasn't sure, but instantly he felt lighter and could relax. Pushing aside his other thoughts, he let the happiness spread through him and when he raised his hand he knew that this time he could cast it.

" _I'm perfectly fine, Draco. Bite me."_

Severus saw, then felt, the energy explode from his student as a snake materialized and surged down the hall. When it got to the blonde Slytherin it's snapped its large jaw and fangs at him before disappearing. _Interesting_ , he thought, then looked back at Harry who was now looking right at him.

At the end of the lesson, everyone regrouped and Severus set them an essay, outlining what they'd learnt from the experience. Whilst most groaned, he smirked, pleased to still have that affect on them all. One student however, was looking pensive and he had no doubt it had to do with what happened in class.

"I'm going to the library to get this over and done with." Draco said quietly, packing away his books.

Harry heard him but didn't respond, instead he waited, holding back until everyone had gone. Hermione was going to stay behind so she could speak to her friend but when Ron pulled her arm she decided to leave it until she could be with her friend alone. When Harry was alone, he noted that his Head of House was leaning against the end of the table, watching him. Almost expecting him to stay behind.

"Sir – "

"You want to know why you are having issues with your Patronus?" Severus cut him off and noted how the teen started to cave within himself.

"Y-Yeah."

"It is not uncommon and certainly doesn't reflect your capabilities as a Wizard." Severus motioned with his hand that they should walk.

"Then why can I only cast it when you're around?" Harry asked, his voice void of any emotion and he gave the man a hard look.

"I would only have assumptions, Potter. I do not have an answer for that." _Not one that I would tell you anyway._

Harry frowned and took a deep breath. The only thing that stood out was the overwhelming sense of peace he experienced when the man was there. Would that warrant him the ability to cast his Patronus fully? Apparently so. It was worth exploring but not something he wanted to delve into now that they were moving on from this charm.

"Potter, if you wish to talk more about this topic then you may come and see me tonight. I doubt this is something you'd want the school overhearing." Severus noted a form of hesitance on the boys face but he didn't want to probe; not here.

Harry nodded, he needed some time to unpack and analyse what happened. He wasn't going to commit and say that, yes, he would take the offer up but it was almost _nice_ to have the offer presented.

. . .

Harry didn't take the man up on his offer, instead he buried himself into the homework he had been assigned and made sure he was up to date with everything. By the weekend, Harry let himself be able to sleep in but he wasn't able to sleep as Hogsmede didn't stray far from his mind. He hadn't been to the town since he was Undesirable Number One and it was something he still felt a little sore about.

With the cooler weather approaching he did his best to stay warm, he didn't have the best winter clothes and made sure to wrap his school scarf around his neck as they ventured outside. Hermione was hanging off his arm and Draco was to the other side of him as they walked across the bridge. Harry could hear Ron behind them and tried to pay him no mind but with becoming friends with Draco also came the territorial Gryffindor stubbornness. Hermione seemed to be coping with it well and Ron had certainly not made any serious jabs at them for the most part.

As they cleared Hagrid's hut, Harry saw where the track was heading and suddenly stopped, his eyes growing wide. He'd forgotten that to get there they would be walking through a section of the forest, now even though it was a very wide path he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Both the blonde and Ravenclaw looked at him for a moment before Hermione tried pulling on his arm.

"Come on, it's not far." She said calmly but he didn't budge.

"I-I can't do it. No, I'm not going." Harry said resolutely.

"It's really not that far, remember? It's five minutes at the most and then farmland."

"You know what I just remembered, I don't even have permission to go. What a shame." His voice was hurried and both of his friends heard the desperate tone in his voice.

"Rubbish, you defeated the Dark Lord, if Professor McGonagall still requires your permission then that's just sad." Hermione pulled his arm again.

"Harry didn't you have a detention anyway?" Draco had his hands in his pockets and sniffed in the cool air.

"Oh, yeah. That's right, Professor Snape said something about cleaning toilets. Yes, I remember now. Silly me."

"Harry Potter, you're being ridiculous, and Draco Malfoy you aren't much better." Hermione frowned at them both and then narrowed her eyes; there was something going on between then she couldn't identify.

"Fine. I'll bring you something back if you really don't want to go." She continued after a few minutes of no one saying anything.

"That would be great, thanks Hermione." Harry rushed out and then went to walk away before her resignation changed.

"I'll come with you." Draco said also, missing the pout from Hermione.

"What is it about Slytherins?" She muttered to herself and then joined Ron who was walking past them, looking rather smug.

As Harry and Draco walked back up the hill, the brunette turned towards his friend, "You didn't have to do that, you know. Hermione doesn't bite."

"I wasn't concerned about her." He scoffed, his hands still in his pockets.

"Whatever then." Harry mused and slowed when they got to a large flat rock.

Draco stopped when he saw Harry move away and go to sit on the ledge, he was looking out into the forest and as much as the blonde wanted to make sure he was okay, it seemed it appropriate to leave him with his thoughts. Looking around, he saw a group of Slytherin's; not wanting to waste his day he jogged down the hill and caught up with them, his ex-Gryffindor friend staying close to mind.

Harry stared at the trees, catching the scent of pine and moss. His heart was beating faster than usual and his stomach was knotting uncomfortably but he knew that at some point he would need to deal with this. His Head of House had been correct, he needed to sort himself out. At some point he would actually really like to go and have a drink at the Hog's Head but that wasn't going to happen with the current state of things.

Closing his eyes, he was immediately faced with the image of Voldemort standing in front of him and it made his stomach heave. Placing his hand over his mouth, he swallowed the bile that rose and took a deep breath. A breath that was filled with the scent of pine needles and his head swam with dizzying lightness.

When he was able to calm himself, only a little, until he heard the chatter of older voices; turning his head he saw the Headmistress chatting carefree with Professor's Trelawny and Flitwick. However, there was a man following them silently, and Harry's eyes went wide.

"Fuck." He whispered and slipped off the rock, hiding under its ledge and hoping they'd pass him by.

His heart started hammering away in his chest and he carefully looked around the rock to find the group walk past without stopping. He smiled darkly at it and let out a breath as well as a nervous chuckle. He was still crouching and he backed up before looking at the ground and turning around; the intention of heading back to the castle.

 _Oomph!_

Gasping in fright, Harry took a step back and let gravity do the rest. Tumbling down the small sloped area, he came to stop when his back hit the trunk of a tree. Rolling onto his stomach in pain, he was faced with an all too familiar situation. Frozen on the ground with only his arms propping him up, he felt the dirt between his fingers and the pine needles that stuck into his stomach.

 _So weak. So… vulnerable_.

Voldemorts voice rung in his mind and he groaned aloud, trying to snap himself out of the daze he'd gotten himself into.

 _You're a fool, Harry Potter – And you will lose. Everything._

"No, _don't_ kill me!" Harry clawed at the ground, trying to stand but he only succeeded in pushing himself away and getting his clothes dirty.

"Hush, it's not real." The familiar deep voice was right in his ear and only then was Harry aware that he was standing now, strong arms holding him up.

"But – "

"It's done." Severus was holding him close, his arms wrapped around the teens midsection and trapping his arms.

With a sigh, the man felt his Slytherin calm slowly and he let his arms loosen their grip to see if he could stand by himself. Aware the teen was shaking, they needed to take it one step at a time. Seeing Harry look over his shoulder at him, he gazed down impassively, he could see the pain in his green eyes and knew they needed to get away from this area. An idea popped into his head and he stepped aside.

"Come inside, Potter. You're shaking."

Harry was only made aware of that fact when the man informed him and when he wrapped his arms around his stomach, he indeed, was shaking. With a deep breath he nodded and they both set up the path towards the castle; neither saying a word.

Crossing the threshold into the man's office, he took a seat but even the warmth of the castle was unable to shake the coldness he felt inside. The red eyes sparked in front of his eyes when he closed them and he whimpered, hiding his face from his Professor.

"I can't say I'm disappointed you were addressing the forest." Severus commented, shifting some papers around on his desk.

"I would have been okay if you didn't sneak up on me." Harry muttered, but refused to look up.

"You were attempting to evade me."

"True." Harry whispered but Severus heard it very clearly in the silent room.

"Why?" Severus went to sit behind his desk.

"Oh, I don't know. Perhaps because you'd push me into a corner and force me to confront things." Harry replied bluntly, he couldn't feel much worse than he already did anyway.

"And yet here we sit." Severus grew smug for a moment but when Harry met his eye he noticed the boy was still shivering and decided to do something about it.

"Shariha." Severus sat back in his chair and in popped a house elf, much to Harry's surprise.

When the elf disappeared, he noticed something change in the way his Professor was sitting but when the elf appeared once more with a tray, he was bemused to be handed a mug that was steaming invitingly. Looking at the contents, Harry smiled and then looked at his Head of House who had come to sit in the other chair next to Harry.

"Hot chocolate?" He asked as the man went to take a sip from his own mug.

"I find myself short on chocolate, you're still shaking." Severus's voice was blunt and he didn't make eye contact at all.

"Oh." Harry shrunk in his seat and cupped the mug with both hands, feeling the warmth spreading through his hands, "Remus always used to have some on hand. It got me through a lot."

"I don't doubt that." Severus remained calm even though he wanted to sneer at the mention; the wolf had been integral in the war.

After a sip of his hot chocolate, Harry felt himself warming from the inside out and the shivering stopped. What was once an empty sensation, filled with something else and he wanted to draw his legs up. The chair didn't allow for it however, so he sat quietly until he couldn't stand it any longer.

"You said my love had changed." Harry blurted out and Severus looked over at him, regarding him coolly.

"I did."

"What did you mean by that?"

"If you don't mind telling me, what was the memory you chose previously for your Patronus?" Severus was leaning on one side of the chair, leaning closer to his student and holding his mug to the side casually.

"My parents," Harry started, his mouth dried at this and he went to take another mouthful of hot chocolate, "I… In my first year, I fell victim to the desires of the Mirror of Erised. Despite Professor Dumbledore's warnings, I couldn't bring myself to part with that image."

Harry had to look down at his lap, even the mention of his parents, now that he was feeling down, made him feel sad.

"They were talking to me. Just talking. Obviously, I couldn't hear what they were saying…" He trailed off and frowned, suddenly painfully aware why that memory didn't satisfy him like it had.

"I saw my parents that night before – _Voldemort_. I spoke to them. Remus and Sirius too. They were there." Harry was babbling and mainly to himself but the man wasn't interrupting him.

Instead, Severus was concentrating. The boy had seen his parents and other family, how? Did they somehow materialize from the Dark Lord killing him? What was he missing.

"Sir?" Severus blinked and refocused when the teen called him, "It bugged me, for a while. I saw you die, in my arms and yet after everything… when I needed you the most and you weren't there."

Severus frowned, not understanding what Harry was talking about. He opened his mouth to voice his confusion when he was floored by the response – _the resurrection stone, sir –_ As if it was supposed to be the most obvious thing to him. Then another thought occurred, that Harry said he'd needed him and needed him when it was most important. Hadn't that been what he'd done? He'd informed the teen what his fate was and had done his job.

"You spoke to your mother?" Was all Severus could reply with and he saw the hesitant, almost scared, nod.

Clearing his throat, Severus then let out a shaking breath. "This memory of your parents, it does not satisfy you when casting your Patronus?"

"No, sir. Because I was walking to my death, you said it yourself. Everything just fades into nothing, a black void." Severus blinked and looked at his student when there was a choked sob, "I have no happiness left."

"That is not true." Severus replied, placing his empty cup on his desk in front of him and then gave his attention back to Harry. "You have friends, you can create happy memories here."

"How? How can I do that when I look around and all I can see is the remains of a broken population." Harry was getting worked up and two tears ran down his cheeks.

Severus wasn't sure how to react. The teen needed someone to love him, to look after him. His immediate thought was Molly Weasely, she had been good to the boy but that obviously wasn't something he needed right now. Instead, he stood and did the only thing he could think of.

Harry was looking down at his shoes, holding the nearly empty mug of his drink in both hands when he felt the warmth of a hand on his head. Stilling, he closed his eyes and the fingers traced his skull before lifting and coming back to still at his crown. His lips parted and a breath was let out as he felt calm surround him once more.

"You are not alone, Potter. You have friends here who love you and the image of you hurting yourself in turn hurts them."

How many people had said that to him over the past few months. Too many. He was becoming immune to it, he had nothing to live for any more. The numbness was coming back, it was filling him with the cold. But when the hand moved once more, those thoughts vanished and he went to look up, his Head of House removing the hand on his head and revealing a soft expression.

Harry reasoned that there was perhaps, _one_ person he didn't want to hurt.


	10. Chapter 10

**.**

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **I actually have no idea if they do or not... I figured they'd have to right? Hogwarts is basically surrounded by trees.**_

 _ **.**_

 **Trigger Warning. Massive… Massive Trigger Warning.**

Dumbledore tumbled off the ledge in a flurry of green light and robes. Harry felt sick, his breathing had stopped as he watched the man he'd considered a father figure falling to the ground. Bile filled his throat, his stomach knotted and eyes wide as saucers.

 _Snape, it was always Snape!_ He screamed to himself.

Footsteps, they were running down the stairs. Snape, he had to get to him. Snape was the one responsible for all of this. Malfoy too, he helped, he disarmed Dumbledore. He's marked, he's the chosen one also. One light, one dark.

Bellatrix could be heared cackling as she made her way down from the Astronomy tower.

 _That bitch! She killed Sirius!_

Running, tripping, collecting himself. He sped after the Deatheaters and followed their hollow laughs and taunts at the Auror's that had been stationed at Hogwarts to protect the students.

 _Snape. Fucking Snape._

He could see them entering the forest and he ran after them. Snape was leading them, he could see the stiff man leading the pack down the hill. So arrogant and evil.

 _I'll kill him!_

"Coward!" Harry yelled.

His wand was drawn and he threw a hex down at them, narrowly missing his Professor. The traitor. In the distance a building was exploding, _no… Hagrid_. Growling he ran faster, dragging oxygen into his lungs viciously and struggling but he had to get them. He had to make them pay.

Snape was just in the distance, he was yelling at Bellatrix. Harry's scar was searing with pain, his vision distorting and he rubbed his eyes trying to focus but it wouldn't get clear.

"Aaargh!"

He's flung back but he gets to his feet quickly.

"He trusted you!"

He can't even see who he's yelling at but there are several figures coming towards him, they're all armed with their wands. Blonde hair, frizzy and messy black hair, wolf eyes, straight black hair… They circle him, he's on the ground, clawing at the earth. Why can't he stand, why can't he get up?

"Pathetic."

"Filthy half-breed!"

Harry tosses and turns in his bed, sweat is gathering around him but he can't wake himself up, he's in too deep. Draco and Blaise turn a light on, Harry's various words waking them from their sleep. The blonde gets out of bed and walks over to where his friend is screwing his face up in pain and realises he needs to wake him. Reaching out and shaking Harry, he gets no response, it looks like the teen is having a fit.

Dirt gets in Harry's mouth, making it dry and irritable. Snape leans close to him and grips onto his jaw like a vice. The man is sneering at him, like he is accustomed to seeing but there is something hidden deep in those black eyes. He lets himself get absorbed into black pools, there is a pulling but he isn't sure where it comes from as everything fades to black.

His head is being smashed into something solid, words echo around his head but he can't work out what they are. Snape is there, he could identify that baritone voice anywhere. He is concerned but it doesn't feel right. He shouldn't be saying that. Snape is evil, he is the devil. Voldemort corrupted him.

"No! Don't kill me!"

Blaise gets out of bed and stands next to Draco, they share a perplexed look. He thinks about casting a Patronus to their Head of House, he knows what to do in things like this but the blonde isn't keen. He knows exactly what Harry is dreaming about, no correction, it's not a dream but a twisted memory.

Harry hears a woman's cry, she's screaming at the top of her lungs, a blood curdling cry. It's his mother, Lily, he hears it often enough to know what she sounds like. She has protected him, shielded him with love, but it's not enough to protect herself. She's gone.

 _Voldemort, I'll kill him! I'll kill them all!_

He's being mocked, the Dark Lord stands over his body and pushed his face into the forest fauna with his dirty bare foot. All he can smell is a dried musty blood scent that emits from the man's filthy robes. It's the scent of death and decay. The forest, it's damp and smells of rotting pine needles. It's suffocating.

Snape is standing next to the Dark Lord, he is happy… smiling even, in a sadistic sneer type of way. They have succeeded and Harry has failed. He is there so he can die. It was all he was ever meant to be… a weapon in this war.

 _You've been so brave sweetheart._ No… His mother can't save him now.

Voldemort raises his wand, his laughter permeats the forest and seemingly echoes for miles. It's loud inside Harry's head and he screws up his face… why can he still not get up? He must get away from this place. He doesn't want to die, he never wanted to be like this.

Harry screams at them in frustration, he is now bound by his wrists and ankles. Voldemort laughs at this twisted perversion. Harry looks to Snape, he is compelled. A smiling Snape is nothing good but it isn't reaching his eyes. His eyes are dead. His eyes…

"Come on, Harry, wake up." Draco shakes his friend once more and Blaise moves across the room to his bed, taking his wand.

 _Avarda Kedarva_.

Harry sits bolt upright with a scream, the room is green, it's all green and it never leaves him. Draco is standing there with his wand, looking vulnerable but he's seen that look before, the teen is evil. He's there to kill him too. Voldemort sent him. He lives.

Knocking things off his bedside table, Harry grabs his wand and aims it at the blonde. Putting both hands above his head, Draco surrenders but the brunette isn't satisfied.

" _Stupify!_ " Harry's wand spits out the curse directly at Draco, who flies back against the back wall and falls to the floor.

" _Bombarda!"_ The wall beside them explodes with a loud bang and Blaise ducks next to his bed, wand at the ready.

Harry runs a hand through his hair, there's still time for him to get Snape, the man is going to pay and Voldemort – he is going to suffer at his hands. He doesn't waste time, he throws on the hoodie at the end of his bed and runs for the door. There are people standing in their doorways, they are the enemy but he has his sights set on two people in particular.

He bursts through the common room portrait and starts the ascent to the main courtyard. There are voices all around him, they speak to him and sound disgruntled. He shoots a curse at one of the voices and a shout is followed.

The ground is cold as his bare feet hit the stones. He doesn't remember it being this cold. He looks behind him and sees a shadow, growling he shoots another explosion in their direction and continues through the grounds to the forest.

Reaching the threshold he freezes, an image invades his mind and it's Snape. _Professor_ Snape. He's on the ground, he has a woman in his arms and she's not moving. He's crying, devastated.

 _Mother_.

She's the only thing he wants, he just wants his mother.

"Why! Why me?" Harry cries out, his wand held tightly, "Take it! Take the pain away! MUM!" He's screaming and feels the sides of his throat burning.

Pressing the tip of his wand to his inner forearm he slices at the flesh through his hoodie. The burn, it feels so good. It's a release.

"I just – " _Slice,_ "Want it –" _Slice,_ "To go –" _Slice,_ "Away!" _Slice, slice, slice._ "Help me!"

Harry's sobs grow louder as he cuts into his arm, he isn't in control of himself anymore, he is gone. Cuts cover his body. He wants to end this and join his parents. He's done with this life. He drops to the ground, convulsing as his mind explodes with magic and energy. Cuts appear all over, he isn't using his wand… he's paralysed.

Everything goes black, he cannot hear anymore, he cannot feel anymore. Relief floods his senses, it's the only thing he can comprehend. He will be with his mother and father soon, with Remus and Sirius. They can be a family beyond the veil and he'll finally be happy.

 **. . .**

There is a commotion in the Slytherin common room and Severus is hellbent on finding out what the issue is, deducting as many house points as he needs to and handing out detentions. However, when he reaches the common room and finds a large group of scared children, he pauses to assess the scene. Something has happened.

Younger years are clinging to each other as the older years stand around them protectively. A student is running towards him, a fourth year who points to the dormitories and he follows quickly, wishing Horace would hurry up and arrive to support him.

There is stone and fabric strewn everywhere as he reaches the last room. Zabini is standing in the doorway, he's rubbing his arm looking lost and points to the wall where a mop of blonde hair is hunched over. Thankfully, he is moving but there is blood dripping down his face and on his hand.

"Someone tell me what bloody happened." He gritted out, pulling his wand and inspecting the cut to Draco's head.

"H-Harry, sir. He was… He was having a fit. Best way to describe it… We tried to wake him but then…" Blaire trailed off and when Severus turned to look at him, he saw the teen was motioning to the entire room.

It was a mess and his immediate thought after Draco was that he hoped the ex-Gryffindor was alright. He had been distracted in the past week after their chat and he had no doubt his nightmares were getting worse. Their conversation from the previous weekend didn't stray far from his mind.

"Draco?" Severus softened his voice and sad grey eyes looked up to him.

"I tried to – "

"It isn't your fault. We will get you to the infirmary." Helping the teen up, there was a disruption outside and Severus let out a low growl as Horace tripped through the door.

"Merlin's _beard_. What _happened_?" His voice was one of utter astonishment as he dithered around.

"We have a student who is experiencing some repercussions from the war. I am going to escort, Mr. Malfoy to the Infirmary, please round the students up and get any of the other staff to help. I need to speak with the Headmistress. Mr. Zabini, you may join us and sleep in the Hospital wing." Severus was helping a disorientated Malfoy through the corridor.

Coming into the common room, he stopped when the students all turned to him. In times like these they needed a leader, someone who remained calm under pressure and could assert themselves to calm the room. Horace was the exact opposite of what he needed but there wasn't much choice he had.

"Listen. All of you." Severus commanded the attention of the room and everyone fell silent.

"I understand what happened tonight has been a shock to some of you. Rest assured, the matter is being handled," _I hope_ , "And things will be back to how they were in the morning. _However_ , in the meantime, everyone is to go back to their dormitories."

There were some relieved sighs and others grumbled but the majority of them started to filter back into their beds. Horace appeared during his speech and nodded his understanding of what Severus had said before he started waving his wand about. Urging himself not to roll his eyes, he found Zabini standing close by him and they wandered out into the corridor.

Minerva and Hagrid were huddled around the unmoving body that had painted the pathway red. Hagrid had a tear rolling down his beard covered cheek and the Headmistress pulled on his sleeve to pick Harry up. They needed to get him into the infirmary quickly to assess the damage. A desperate Dove Patronus swooped down to them both with a message from the Matron, she was worried and had everything prepared for them.

"Hagrid, now is not the time." Minerva barked at the giant as he wiped a tear and he went to pick Harry up, the boy going limp in his arms and smothering his clothes in blood.

"We need to hurry, pick up the pace." She snapped again, hitching the front of her robes as they hurried up the hill.

Madame Pomfrey was in a fluster when Severus slowly made it to the Infirmary with his Slytherin students. She took one look at them and instead of gasping, looked relieved before she ran into her office, pulling out a small trunk shaped container and levitating it into the main bed area.

Draco looked up to his Head of House and was going to say something when his voice caught between breaths and started coughing. Severus directed him over to one of the cots and Blaise sat on the one next to his classmate, facing him.

"What seems to be the issue, Severus?" He voice was clipped and unnaturally nervous so he attempted his best to remain calm.

"Mr. Malfoy has a mild concussion, I brought him here to get checked over. I believe he will be fine but your word is always comforting."

"You flatter me, Severus." She snapped sarcastically, "Let's see, Mr. Malfoy." She moved over to them and waved her wand in front of the blondes face a few times and examined the cut on his head, "You'll live." Her voice cracked at that and stepped back, looking to the entrance.

"Poppy?" Severus went to the end of the bed and looked at her with concern.

"It's, Mr. Potter." She said and then held up her wand indicating for him not to respond as she heard voices.

Her shoes made scuffing sounds as she went into the corridor and Severus watched as her face turned into horror.

"Hurry, first bed, put him there." She shouted and went to the bed, waiting.

In came Hagrid carrying, who Severus identified as Harry, the moment he stepped into the light and placed him on the bed. The front of Hagrid's clothes were drenched red with blood and when he went to wipe his face, smeared red across his cheek. Turning to his two Slytherin's he very quietly told them to either look away or stay together and remain quiet before going over to the cot where the Headmistress and Grounds Keeper stood.

"I need you all to stand back. Give me some room." Poppy shooed them harshly and all three older Witch and Wizards stood well back.

Severus was lost for words, Harry almost looked unrecognizable. He was covered completely in blood and it continued to seep out slowly onto the white Infirmary sheets at the Medi Witch became waving her wand and muttering incantations. Noticing some odd deep gashes on his face and neck, Severus moved forward to inspect them as Poppy became removing the shredded pieces of clothing.

"Oh dear…" Poppy was healing most of the cuts along Harry's torso and arms but she frowned uncharacteristically when some of them weren't healing.

"Severus, can you identify these? They don't seem to be healing.

"That bloody brat." Severus hissed as he stood next to the boy and leaned forward.

Anger coursed through his veins, shaking his head as he raised his wand. This boy was _not_ going to end his life with the aid of a curse he had created when he was Harry's age. Absolutely not. It was an insult but he desperately attempted to reel in his outwards aggression and frustrations to focus on the counter curse, happily seeing the cuts close up and disappear. However, it seemed the teen wasn't going to be that lucky with the state of his arms, these cuts didn't seem to be disappearing but they did sow together. Whatever spell the teen had been using was powerful.

"Oh dear… oh dear…" Poppy kept saying and dabbed the large cuts with a cloth that was drenched in an antiseptic healing lotion that would have stung severely if the boy had been awake.

Severus stepped back when the last of his spell had been removed but he knew the teen had lost a lot of blood.

Minerva had her arms folded around her body protectively and pursed her lips in worry, not even taking note of the two students that were sitting behind them, watching the scene unfold. Draco was biting his bottom lip, something he had developed when he became nervous and tried moving about on the bed to see what was going on. All three Professors were blocking his way, so he carefully stood, not making any noise and went to stand behind his Head of House.

Harry looked to be completely unconscious and when he watched the expressions of all four adults, he came to the conclusion that they were worried. It certainly wasn't something he should be watching but reality was he had seen worse, his main concern was that his friend didn't die.

Poppy wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and managed to clear up the blood that was covering Harry's skin. She had stopped the bleeding but was going to require some heavy blood replenishing potions. This wasn't above her capabilities, but facilities, and turning to her most trusted ex-Potion's Master, motioned for him to come over.

"He is sterilized and the blood has stopped for now. Severus, if you could help me here, I need to get his arms bandaged up whilst I go to St. Mungos and have a chat with an old friend. Potter will be requiring blood replenishing medications fairly urgently and that's not something I have currently in my stocks."

"I will tend to, Mr. Potter." Severus nodded and she zipped past him, Minerva hot on her heels as they went into the Medi-Witches office.

There were bandages sitting on the cabinet next to the bed and so he moved towards them, turning his head to glance down at his student. He was out cold and if Severus didn't trust Poppy he would have thought that the boy wasn't breathing, he was that still.

He hadn't realised that his body was shaking until he went to take Harry's forearm and had to take a steadying breath before he began wrapping the wounds. His heart sank when he looked at the pattern and he stopped all movements, standing in stock stillness, staring at pale marked flesh. He couldn't believe what he was looking at.

"Sir?" Draco took a step forward but stumbled backwards when he hit an invisible wall.

Severus didn't want his students seeing this and he kicked himself into gear, carefully picking Harry's arm up and covering the marks. He felt sick, and Severus Snape did not feel sick. Disgusted yes, but never nauseous.

"Both of you into bed." He barked and glared up at his blonde student whose eyes went wide.

"Professor Snape… Is he…" Hagrid was wringing his hands together but Severus didn't know what to say, Harry needed strong potions which meant something was serious.

"He's in good hands." Was all he could muster and remained by Harry's side until the Headmistress appeared.

"Oh, Mr. Zabini, Mr. Malfoy. I didn't know you were here." She paled further when she saw there were witnesses.

"Mr. Malfoy is a product of, Potter's rage and Mr. Zabini was a witness. Their dormitory suffered damage." Severus drawled, explaining why his two students were there.

"Dear me." Minerva looked as though all the joy had been sucked out of her life and kept looking between everyone as if at a loss of what to do next.

Severus couldn't blame her, he couldn't imagine the sight she had seen, where ever that place was, that she'd found Harry. Surely she'd seen the markings shapes on his forearm? Due to the amount of blood that covered the teen however, there was a possibility she hadn't.

"Severus, might I have a word? Hagrid, thank you for your help." The giant nodded mutely, looking at his friend before slowly making his way out and Severus went to follow Minerva, not before pointing his wand at Draco to settle down into bed as he passed them.

Closing the door to Poppy's office, there was a roaring green flame that lit the room and the Medi-Witch climbed out, followed by a Witch who wore white scrubs that were similar to Poppy's. They were carrying a large container that clunked when it was placed on the desk.

"Headmistress McGonagall." The Witch nodded.

"Minerva, this is Greta Spunelli. She works at St. Mungos in the intensive care unit for Witches and Wizards. Her specialty is accidental magic and children's injuries." Madame Pomfrey introduced her friend and they both shook hands.

"Poppy told me what happened, I would like to see him and check a few things." Greta spoke softly but her tone suggested a focused doctor.

Poppy left with her friend and Minerva took a seat, finally feeling the adrenaline drop in her system. Severus joined her, taking the other free seat and waited for her to speak. No doubt, he wasn't going to like what she was about to say.

"I just… How did this happen, Severus? After everything, and now this?" She sounded tired and confused.

"Mr. Potter came to me not long ago and confided that he had been struggling. At the time, he was no danger to anyone and I was working with him on some issues."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Minerva, he doesn't have to say anything about the therapist for me to say this – Dr. Fletcher will be no good for him, his _demons_ , if you will, are not going to be exorcised by someone who has no experience."

"And you think that your abilities supersede those of a trained professional?" Minerva's voice was bitter and skeptical.

"I have never and will not ever pretend to know more than a babbling _fool_ who has a mastery in dissecting peoples minds. I will however, implore to you that you allow me to help him just as I have with Mr. Malfoy."

"I'm sorry, Severus. Not that I don't trust your judgement or abilities, but this will be out of my hands. I have a duty to the students of this school to ensure they are safe. That includes Mr. Potter."

Severus ran a hand through his hair.

"I will be owling Dr. Fletcher this morning." At this she stood and decided to go and check on the status of her ex-Gryffindor student.

Severus watched her leave and took a moment to take a deep calming breath. Centering himself. This situation seemed to have gone from manageable to catastrophic in a manner of hours and resigned himself to the fact that he was rather concerned about his Slytherin. Whilst the two of them hadn't spoken too often, he found himself wanting to support the boy. All those years of animosity melted away when he saw a troubled teen in need and he caught himself thinking of Lily Potter as he turned back into the Infirmary.

" – Exactly my thoughts also. He will need a strict course of these. I would wager he will wake in a few of days considering how much blood he lost and the exhaustion he will have experienced. His magic will also be weak when he finally is up and about. There is extensive damage to his magical core, something that will only get stronger as he heals." Greta straightened a loose black strand behind her ear and fixed her hat.

"Has he been seeking psychological support?" She continued and Minerva stepped forward.

"Prior to school resuming he had been seeing a therapist, yes."

"Then it would be prudent for him to continue his sessions. I am hesitant to prescribe him anti-depressant-like medications until he is conscious and has spoken to a Healer. From there we can look at whether he requires more medication or not."

Severus felt his stomach knot and his shoulders tense. They were talking about his Slytherin like he was completely insane and should be locked away in an institution. He knew that wasn't the case, the teen just needed someone he could rely on and to be kept safe. In his interactions with the teen, he didn't isolate from everyone, even whilst he didn't smile that often.

Draco was lying in bed, he didn't dare move and Blaise was lying opposite him, in the same boat.

"Okay, thank you Dr. Spunelli." The woman nodded and went to follow Poppy back to her office, "Severus, I will organize a staff meeting in the morning to let all staff know what happened. I suggest you catch the bulk of your Slytherins before breakfast so they know what is happening."

"Of course." Severus agreed.

"Right, well, Mr. Potter is well tended to, I suggest we get some sleep and tackle this fresh in the morning." And with that Minerva walked out of the Infirmary but Severus didn't move, instead he went to stand next to Harry, looking down at him.

He couldn't imagine what Lily would say if she saw this, with her fiery temper she would easily have had his bollocks for letting her son get into this state. He conceded that the Headmistress had been right, he had a duty to ensure the boy was safe and sane, for that he admitted that there could have been more. It was a complicated situation.

The vial around the teens neck caught his attention, it sparkled under the dimmed lighting and he reached down to look at it. If he didn't know any better he would have said the contents were memories but he couldn't be sure. Why Harry would have these was beyond him. He let the vial fall against his Slytherin's bare chest when he remembered that there were two other occupants in the room and stood up straight, muttering under his breath before he too walked out.

Draco had seen it, seen the care his Head of House had shown but quickly pretended he was asleep when the man went to leave. Once he had, the blonde sat up in bed and looked over at the unconscious Slytherin. Anything could happen now.

 **. . .**

 _ **Okay, I'll be honest that was kind of fun to write.**_

 _ **Feedback is always welcomed.**_


	11. Chapter 11

.

 _ **Thank you to all of you that have reviewed and commented.**_

 _ **I love hearing about how this story is going for you, and any recommendations are always welcome.**_

 _ **. . .**_

Being rudely interrupted in the morning, Draco grumbled before realizing who it was trying to wake him up. The Matron was gently shaking his shoulder and he sat up feeling very groggy indeed, his head pounding like a drum.

"Apologies for waking you, Mr. Malfoy. How are you feeling this morning?" She asked and he put a hand to his head.

"I thought as much, how do your neck and shoulders feel?"

"Tense, Ma'am." He replied, now thinking about it, his whole body ached.

"You are going to be tender today, Mr. Malfoy. I want you to take this, it's a mild pain relief. Mr. Zabini," She addressed and he was already sitting up watching, "He will need to be looked out for today. If you experience any light-headed moments, feeling dizzy or even nauseous, you are to come straight back understand?"

"Yes, Ma'am." They both replied.

"If you feel the sudden desire to sleep, do not. I'd like to see you this evening." Draco nodded slowly and was then helped out of the cot.

"I believe your Head of House will be requiring you this morning." Shooing them out of the Infirmary, she went over to Harry and shook her head, "And what are we going to do with you?" She sighed and went over to check his temperature.

Draco was pulled away from the door by his housemate and when they reached the common room, everyone was silent. The blonde was determined to maneuver himself about so ripped his arm out of Blaise's grip and walked in.

" – night was a surprise to us all, rest assured the situation has been resolved. Mr. Potter will be fine and is currently undergoing treatment with Madame Pomfrey. It would be wise to limit the gossip, I'm sure you do not want the name of Slytherin to be tainted by rumours."

Severus finished and went to leave, seeing Draco he nodded but didn't say anything. He hadn't slept at all and was in desperate need of coffee to wake himself up. Harry had dominated his thoughts and attention, as well as Lily. Even though she had passed through the veil, his stomach knotted at having let her down. Next stop was the staff room where he was the last to arrive but Minerva seemed to have already covered the basics and was speaking to Filius when he approached.

"If you could seek Miss. Granger this morning and tell her about Mr. Potter?"

"Of course, Minerva, Severus." The short man nodded and the Defence Professor responded.

"Horace has mended the Slytherin common room." Was all he said and she nodded before putting a hand on his shoulder to turn him away from the others.

"I am meeting with Dr. Fletcher this morning. He was very prompt in his response." Severus nodded gravely, he wanted to invite himself along but doubted the Headmistress would allow that.

In the Great Hall, Hermione and Luna were discussing Divination, it was getting rather heated as they often disagreed over various elements. Hermione still believed it to be a weak discipline and often wondered why she was taking it but discussions like this were what kept her going.

"Miss. Granger?" She looked up and smiled as their Charms Professor waddled over.

"Good morning, sir." She beamed but faltered when she was the hesitance in his eyes.

"I regretfully must inform you that last night, your friend Mr. Potter had a… a little accident. He is in the Infirmary and the Headmistress thought you should be made aware. Is Mr. Weasley here yet?"

"Oh no…" Hermione's mouth dropped and she picked up her bag, she needed to be with her friend.

"Ron isn't far away." Luna replied for her new classmate and their Head of house nodded.

"I'll leave you to inform him then." Professor Flitwick nodded and went to place a hand on Hermione's shoulder only to find her shooting up out of her seat.

"Everything will work out. I have no doubt." Luna tried to calm her house mate in the dream like voice she often used but it went on deaf ears.

"I need to see him." The brunette said distracted, and hurried away.

By the time she reached the floor which the Hospital Wing was located, tears had sprung into her eyes. In her haste to leave, she realised their Head of House hadn't told her what Harry had done. Her friend was known for his clumsy acts, so he could have done anything from rolling an ankle to exploding a cauldron. Breaking into a run when the Infirmary was in sight, but stopping in the large doorway she froze in fright.

"Harry…" She covered he mouth in horror and went to stand next to the bed.

She fought her buckling legs and remained strong, carefully taking the Slytherin's right hand giving it a light squeeze to let him know she was there. He didn't move and the limp hand in hers wasn't something she wanted to grow accustomed to. He was completely out cold and wondered what had gone on. Of course, she noticed the bandaged arms and a sinking feeling worked it's way into her stomach.

"Oh, Harry… what have you done?" She spoke softly and her fingers gently across his forehead, but received nothing in response.

She stayed by his side for as long as she could, but when the clocked chimed she begrudgingly stood and promised to be back as soon as she could. They had Potions that morning and when Hermione walked into the class, she sat by herself and waited. Slowly, people started to trickle in but she refused to look up as a lone tear dropped from her cheek and onto the wooden table.

Wiping her face hastily as her boyfriend came to sit next to her, he asked what was wrong but it was like a faulty tap and the tears started flowing once more. She excused herself and went outside to distance herself from the likely stares but Ron followed her out.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" He went to hug her but she shrugged him off, "Have I done something?" He asked worriedly but she frowned and snapped back.

"Not everything's about _you_ , Ronald." Immediately she regretted her tone and reached out for a hug, "Harry's in the Hospital Wing. I don't know what happened but he's not well." She explained and Ron held her tight.

"I'm sure he'll be alright." The red head had no idea what was going on and didn't know the seriousness which annoyed Hermione.

"You didn't see him. He's so pale." Looking past her boyfriend, Professor Slughorn was walking towards them, so she wiped her face and tried to look unaffected.

The man wouldn't even know that her and Harry were friends, Merlin, he couldn't even remember her name even though she was one of the top students in the class.

Mid morning and there was a roar of the fire in Minerva's office, an immaculate man stepped fourth from the green flames and dusted himself off. The Headmistress stood and gave her best professional smile to the man, greeting him down the steps.

"Dr. Fletcher?"

"A pleasure to meet you Headmistress. However, I wish they were under better circumstances." He reached out and shook his hand.

"Of course." She replied and motioned for him to sit around her desk, an elf had appeared moments prior and had provided tea and biscuits for them whilst they chatted.

"Oh, please." The man took a cup and saucers graciously and took a seat, "So, Professor McGonagall, what seems to be the issue?"

"Please, Minerva." She took a sip of her tea, "Last night, Mr. Potter not only put himself at risk but the students around him. I do not know much about his issues and such but from what I have gathered, he was immersed in a flashback."

"What is it exactly that Harry did, Minerva?"

"He attacked another student, created chaos in his dormitory and common room, then… proceeded to turn his attacks towards himself." She hesitated when she recalled the blood that encircled the teen from his body, she closed her eyes for composure. "I need to know, Doctor, how much of a danger is he?"

The man put his cup down and folded his hands in his lap, a leg crossing over the other as he leaned on the arm of his chair.

"Harry came to me after the war with a rather severe case of Post Traumatic Stress. Now, we were able to work through some of his issues and in my opinion, he was doing well. It's a shame that he decided not to continue his treatments. Do you know if he is still having the dream?"

"I do not know anything about what he is experiencing, however, there is another Professor that he might have spoken to about such things. Severus Snape is someone who was a rather prominent fixture in the war as was another student here, whom Harry has grown close to."

"Severus Snape? As in Professor Severus Snape?"

"Yes, that is him. Why do you ask?" Minerva sat up in her seat and watched the doctor shift in his seat uncomfortably.

"This was a topic that Harry found difficult to open up about. I got the impression that something happened between them but each time I got close to getting him to speaking about it, he would immediately close off. As for the dream, we categorize fears two ways, there's rational and irrational fear. Harry still has nightmares about the night Voldemort ' _killed_ ' him and in particular, the colour green."

Minerva continued to listen intently.

"For most, being afraid of the colour green would be an irrational fear but for Harry this is a very real _rational_ fear for him. In your letter you mentioned that when you resorted the students he was put into Slytherin. I wouldn't mind betting that his nightmares have increased as a result of this."

"Severus Snape is their Head of House." Minerva added and watched the man nod.

"If Harry had one of his nightmares, it could be possible that his actions last night are a result of him trying to run away. Believe me, I got the feeling he never really wanted to come and see me and that his friend – a Hermione Granger? – had been the one to drag him along."

"When he first arrived back at the school, I witnessed some actions that would be closely related to this Post Traumatic Stress you mention and Professor Snape had approached me early on at some other actions he saw." Minerva added.

"If he cannot open up and talk about what happened that night, I fear he may never recover and will live in constant anxiety of the events that took place. The very key to his recovery, _I believe_ , lies within what happened between him and Professor Snape. Where is he now?"

"Harry is being looked after in the Hospital Wing, we had a Professional from St. Mungos supporting our Medical Practitioner last night." Minerva placed her cup of tea on the table, it had gone cold and no longer had an appetite.

"I would like to see him." Dr. Fletcher straightened the front of his suit and Minerva nodded, standing.

"He is not conscious, so there wouldn't be much to talk about. However, I think perhaps a chat with Madame Pomfrey might be beneficial."

As they made their way through the castle, students began filing out of their classes for lunch and the Headmistress had an idea as they approached the appropriate floor. Taking a detour, she turned to the doctor.

"We will collect Professor Snape on our way, perhaps the two of you can have a chat."

The man was tidying up his desk when she entered his emptying classroom and glanced up, his breath catching in his throat when he saw the man following her. _Must be the psychiatrist_ , he thought and immediately slid into his poker face. Meeting her half way, he stiffened and acknowledged her presence.

"Severus, I was wondering if you'd like to accompany us to the Infirmary. This here is Doctor Fletcher."

Severus nodded but when the man came to shake his hand, he bristled, awkwardly stepping forward and offering his hand.

"Professor Snape, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

 _Finally meet me?_ He frowned and looked to the Headmistress who was now ushering them out. Severus didn't bother to say anything to the man who looked like a politician. All dressed in an immaculate navy pinstriped suit and tie with hair styled in copious amounts of hair product.

Hermione was sitting in the chair next to Harry's bed with Ron leaning on the wall when they saw the three adults enter the room. Hermione knew straight away that the man in the suit was Harry's therapist and stood, flattening down her skirt as they approached.

"Miss. Granger, Mr. Weasely, I am happy to see you have kept, Potter company, however perhaps you'd like to relax for lunch with the other students whilst we have a private word."

Hermione stepped forward and was about to argue but shut her mouth immediately when their Defence Professor mirrored a glare they were receiving from the Headmistress. She nodded sadly and grabbed Ron's hand, pulling them away.

"Hermione."

"Dr. Fletcher."

They acknowledged each other briefly before departing and Ron glanced over his shoulder at the thin man before whispering to his Ravenclaw girlfriend something unintelligent.

"That's Harry's therapist, Ron. They must be getting Harry looked at, oh this is so bad." She replied; worry etched across her tired face.

Minerva called out for Poppy and when she arrived, closing and locking the doors to ensure no other students interrupted them. The four adults all stood around the cot Harry was lying on and Severus had to stand with his back to the teen, unable to bring himself to look.

"Poppy, this is Doctor Fletcher, he was treating Harry before he came back to school. He believes that the events that occurred last night were part of a nightmare and flashback."

"It certainly explains the loss of memory for the timeframe that Greta and I found when analyzing, Potter."

"How is he doing?" Dr. Fletcher put his hands in his pockets as he asked.

"He is stable; he is on some strong medications and until he wakes up we won't be able to do much more."

"And there has been no movement or indication he may be stuck in another part of time?"

"I don't believe so, no. He lost a lot of blood last night and will most likely remain unconscious as his body heals for the next few days."

"I see." The man went to the side of the bed and bent over the Slytherin, looking at the bandaged arms, his left in particular.

"May I have a look?"

"Whatever for?" Poppy put a hand on her chest, offended that she would be asked to show such an injury to a psychiatrist.

"Lightning bolts?" He removed his hands from his pockets and shrugged almost smugly and Severus curled lips in disgust.

Poppy narrowed her eyes with surprise but did as instructed and started to remove the bandages on the teen's left forearm. When she unwound to the skin, she took Harry's arm gently in her hands, showing the other adults that the respective doctor was correct. There, engraved into the Slytherin's flesh were two lightning bolt shaped cuts, amongst the other straight cuts, though from where Minerva was standing they appeared as something different.

"They look like the letter _'s'_ to me." She frowned and Severus froze, taking a step forward to look at the arm from her angle.

Fletcher looked very pleased with himself and Severus went to open his mouth, only to stop when he made eye contact with the therapist. At first his abdomen tightened when the piercing blue eyes met his own but pushing the errant and wayward sensations aside, he had a sick feeling that soon developed when he looked at the cuts once more. He began to have trouble swallowing and his mouth developed a metallic like flavour, like he was choking on his own blood.

Stepping back and taking a deep breath, Severus had to turn away and distance himself from the scene. He himself was about to have his own flash memory and it was one he'd rather not have, especially in the presence of a psychiatrist.

"They are most definitely lightning bolts, Minerva and I have every confidence that what he experienced last night was related to Voldemort believing he'd killed Harry."

"Severus?" Minerva observed the paler face of her Defence Professor but said nothing as she indicated to the doctor, "I thought perhaps the two of you could have a chat. Harry confided in you, yes?"

Knowing that he couldn't lie, he nodded but he wasn't entirely sure what they expected him to say. Whilst Harry had spoken to him about a couple of things he doubted there was anything new the pompous doctor didn't know.

"I wouldn't necessarily call it confiding."

"Then what did he tell you exactly?" The arrogance rolling of the man was sending Severus a warning but he had to ignore it.

"He has expressed discomfort around some classes, though I'm not surprised." Severus replied, "The other two scars you can see on his forearm that appear to have healed, that was the first I knew that he had harmed himself. Said that it gave him control."

Minerva was about ready to explode, she couldn't believe something so serious hadn't been mentioned to her but reined in her temper for later. Instead she folded her arms and resisted the urge to take her wand as the conversation before her continued.

"He never appeared suicidal when I was working with him. We were very focused on minimizing the terrors and nightmares. He had many triggers when he first came to me; I am pleased that they don't appear to have returned but the major ones have been amplified. No thanks to his placement in Slytherin house."

 _I beg your pardon?_ Severus scoffed to himself but refused to give the man satisfaction of a reaction.

"As I said earlier, when he says _the green is everywhere_ , he is referring to his house. Then, there are the elements that he refuses to speak of. Elements that, I believe, refer to _you_ Professor Snape."

 _So, he spoke about me to this… this slick and arrogant man_ , Severus's face twisted into something unpleasant.

"What are you hiding, Severus Snape? What happened that night? It's certainly made an impact on the boy and yet he refuses to speak about it." The man goaded, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

 _He won't speak to you, well he certainly doesn't want to speak with me about it_ , Severus huffed and looked at the sick boy laying dormant in the cot. What was he supposed to say, he doubted they would believe him and judging by the Headmistress's expression, she was at her limits of self control.

"I have nothing more to offer, he hasn't spoken to me about anything else." And that was part truth, "And I personally do not feel comfortable divulging details of what may or may not have transpired between us whilst he is laying comatose."

A twitch in his groin was the last straw for the Slytherin Head of House as he spoke to the psychiatrist and he changed his stance before addressing the Headmistress about classes beginning.

"We will meet again." Doctor Fletcher said smirking, reaching out to shake his hand, which out of manners he accepted.

 _I cannot wait_ , he thought sarcastically and then took his leave when Minerva excused him. Once the door was shut, Minerva dismissed Poppy once she had reapplied fresh dressings.

"Once Harry has woken I would like to speak with him."

"I would expect nothing less." She responded, "I had intended on extending the invitation to you once he has regained consciousness, I cannot be seen to allow his behaviour to continue when there are other students involved. Until then, I will keep you posted on his recovery."

"I look forward to hearing from you." He bowed in respect and allowed her to escort him back to her office where he used the flue network.

 **. . .**

Hermione sat through classes feeling very distracted and Ron wasn't helping the situation as he slouched in his chair not paying attention at all. They were in Defence and whilst she admitted the content wasn't all that thrilling currently, she wanted to know everything she could. Harry still hadn't woken up; it was now day two and she was worried about what this would do for his classes.

She made the subtle move to turn and look at Draco who was looking miserable and wasn't paying attention either but his reasons were more serious than her boyfriends. Actually, when she observed their Professor, he didn't look much better than Draco and his mood had soured noticeably. He was currently sitting behind his desk, she thought he might have been marking as he had set them the task of reading the next chapter but he had been staring at the same piece of parchment for ten minutes and not moved.

Finally, unable to take the silence and tension, she raised her hand suddenly which caught their Professor's attention and he looked up expectantly, not the sneer or glare that she was accustomed to seeing, and it took her by surprise.

"Sir, if we've finished the reading, may we start on the practical?" She just wanted to get up and do something constructive and risked the points being taken away.

However, what surprised her more was the nod that she received, not a word was spoken, just a simple head nod but that was all she needed. Standing suddenly, she walked over to the side of the room with her wand and facing the window began silently casting her spell. A few others joined her later and it made the session go quicker than it had been. When it was time to pack up, she listened as Professor Snape gained everyone's attention.

"Tomorrow we will begin your paired assignment. This will go towards part of your midterm exam mark, so I suggest you pair up wisely." And without another word, he picked up the pieces of parchment in front of him and walked up to his office.

His voice sounded empty, Hermione thought, but she listened carefully and shot a hesitant look at Ron. _Choose wisely_ , she recalled and looked over her shoulder at the lonely Slytherin boy now leaving the classroom.

After classes she made her way to the Infirmary to see Harry, she had been doing this whenever she had a free moment in the hopes that he would respond to her touch. He still seemed to be in the same position as when she left him at lunch and saw Madame Pomfrey refreshing the bandages on his arm.

"Matron?"

"Yes, Miss. Granger?"

"What did he do? To his arms, I mean."

"That's a question for the Headmistress, or for Potter when he wakes up." She replied softly and then left the room.

Whatever it was that had been hidden by the bandages, she assumed that it was serious or not very nice to look at. In the back of her mind, she had to assume that he'd cut himself. Either way, people were being very tight lipped about the situation.

"So, Harry… You didn't miss anything too important today. Professor Flitwick set an interesting essay about color changing in everyday objects and we learnt how to transfigure a flower into an animal… Uhm, Professor Snape is assigning the paired assignment tomorrow." She stopped and bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears.

"And, you'll never guess – " She couldn't continue and a choked sobs escaped.

She had been all right yesterday but now she was really starting to get worried about her friend. The stress of not knowing what was going on had slowly started chipping away at her positivity and what she wanted was to be consoled. It was just a shame Ron wasn't there, a hug would have just been what she was after.

Speaking of the red head, she could feel the distance starting to pull at them. Whilst she attempted to make time for them, he was starting to get busier with Quidditch and when she wanted to study he wasn't interested. He wasn't even here to check on his friend and for someone who had been loyal since the day each of them met, she thought that was pretty poor.

The Ravenclaw smiled when she heard footsteps, thinking she had been proven wrong that Ron didn't care about their friend. Another sob escaped her mouth as she let her defences down and linked an arm with who she thought was her boyfriend only to find out that it wasn't Gryffindor robes she was holding, but Slytherin ones. Gasping and letting go quickly she apologized to Draco who had flinched and frozen when her arm had wound through his.

He blushed terribly at the action and looked around awkwardly before finally making eye contact with her. Hermione felt horrified and felt the heat rising in her cheeks at the mistake. She should have known that the blonde didn't smell like her boyfriend, Ron was more of a natural scented male where as she was getting minty tones and the spray of the sea.

"I thought you were, Ron."

"It's o-okay." Draco stammered and placed his hands in his pockets, his pale skin flushing and the tips of his ears going red.

"He still isn't awake…" She trailed off, another round of tears rolling down her cheeks.

"He should be by tomorrow." Draco added, remembering the conversation that he'd witnessed on that night.

"He… He _will_ wake up, right?" She sniffed and both hands clasped Harry's.

Draco looked at her, admiring the way the sun made her tears sparkle as it set but he couldn't be sure if his friend even would wake up. The St. Mungos lady hadn't been very convincing. He supposed they didn't really know until something changed in his status.

"I hope so." He responded softly and Hermione looked over her shoulder at him, giving a small smile.

Draco's eyes widened gently and then trained his eyes on the sick Slytherin. This was enough for him, there was no reason to be standing around being a spare wheel, so he went to leave. When he was at the door however, he heard running footsteps and was stopped with the Ravenclaw's voice.

"Did you want to be partners?" She blurted out and his lips parted, his hands still stuffed in pockets, "For Professor Snape's class." She clarified and he inhaled sharply.

Not ever did he expect to be asked a question like that from her, or anyone outside of Slytherin. It took him off guard and before he could say anything, he nodded in acceptance to her offer.

"Great." She beamed at him, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, "I'll see you tomorrow in class." And with that, she slowly stepped backwards and into the Infirmary once more.

After dinner, she had come back with her books, intending on studying but a few minutes in and she was sound asleep, resting her tired head on the bed by Harry's hand. She was still holding it and had been reading aloud to him just in case he could hear but couldn't move. As she drifted between sleep and consciousness, her hand flexed and Harry's hand responded.

Sitting upright, she squeezed it again and this time she felt the smallest of movements.

"Harry?" She cried out and this time stood, the commotion of her voice alerting Madame Pomfrey who came charging in.

"Miss. Granger, what are you still doing – "

"He squeezed my hand, I think he's coming round." She said excitedly and the Matron went serious, making the lighting brighter and examining the student with various wand movements.

From what she could see, there was no improvement from the morning when she had run a diagnostic, so she took what the Ravenclaw student had said with a pinch of salt. The girl was looking tired and could have easily been imagining things.

"Miss. Granger, I wouldn't get too excited just yet. His vitals have not changed; do not lose hope, he will come around soon. Now, I really must urge that you head back to the Ravenclaw common room for the evening."

"But – "

"Now, Miss. Granger, before I forcefully remove you." She snapped, it was truly getting late and the students had a curfew for their common rooms.

Taking one last look at her friend, Hermione huffed and picked up her bag angrily. Storming out of the Infirmary she muttered to herself, she wasn't making things up and she truly had thought she'd felt her friend twitch. A fresh round of tears started to well in her eyes, it was getting frustrating waiting for him to wake and she wondered if he wanted to wake up at all. _What if after all of this he's just done?_ The dark thought crossed her mind and unsettled her stomach. It wasn't something that she ever wanted to explore.

Severus was in his office, quill poised as he went about marking. His thoughts however were not on his students work and instead found himself thinking about the cuts on Harry's left arm. If he didn't know any better, with the placement it almost looked as though he was branding himself, much like the Dark Mark _he_ sported. This would be a question he'd have to bring up when the teen woke, hopefully it was soon because as the days ticked on without news he felt his anxiety growing.

A creak in his wooden door alerted him that he was no longer alone and when a nervous blonde Slytherin stood in his doorway, he waved a hand for the boy to come in. He stood and went to the door, manually closing it for something to do as his legs needed a stretch.

"Draco." He sighed the teen's name and they stood in front of each other.

"Sir, I'm worried." Draco said, his grey eyes were slightly puffy and Severus could see he'd been crying.

"As we all are. I don't suppose you've heard anything?" The man continued and Draco shook his head, looking down and running a hand through his disheveled hair.

"I was going to ask you the same question." The blonde said softly.

"Why are you here, Draco? You know very well that curfew is fast approaching."

"Sir, I just don't know what I'm doing with myself. Harry had this episode and I don't know if it's because I smacked my head… I suddenly feel, strange."

Letting out a long breath, Severus put his hand on the boy's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. He knew exactly what that felt like; he had struggled with this himself and still did. The only reason he was back at Hogwarts after the war was so he could find his feet and determine what he was going to do next. Shelter from the outside was a perk with this and felt hesitant about going his own way.

"This is natural." He replied, "Your mother has nothing planned for you?" He had been aware of the destiny Lucius had mapped out for his only heir but now that had changed.

"Nothing that I know of, I think she was really wanting me to get back into education."

"Then perhaps that's what you should do. Pass your classes and find something when the school year ends."

Draco looked like he was going to say something else, something that he knew was going to hinder his future but cut him off and directed the teen towards the door. He didn't want to cut their chat short but it was getting late and they were both exhausted. Draco dragged his feet, moping through the classroom, but as much as Severus wanted to cheer him up, he didn't have the energy.

Draco still hadn't cheered up the next day and sat at the Slytherin table, staring down at his empty plate. He was starting to understand why Harry had done what he had, but he didn't think he could ever get to that stage. Things had been going well with them, he actually thought that the developing friendship was making both of them happy but now he just felt miserable again. Much like when they first came back to school, not even the prospect of their Christmas break was enough to cheer him up.

He looked over at the Gryffindor's, the entire house seemed to radiate positivity, even Weasely. It made him wonder if there was something he was missing, some trick that allowed them to put the war behind them and move on. Surely it was as easy as that?

Hermione caught his attention when she walked into the hall and he watched her join the red head. He ducked down when she glanced at him and smiled sadly, there was clearly no news about Harry, she might have been more cheerful if there had been.

"Harry still hasn't woken up yet." Hermione looked at Ron sadly and put a hand on his thigh under the table.

"Still?" Seamus asked and she shook her head.

"Do they know when he will?" Ron asked quietly, leaning into her and kissing her temple.

"No, and they won't tell me anything either." She huffed and dragged some food to her plate, but it was only a little as she planned on heading straight back there.

Draco felt his stomach tighten at the disgusting display of affection he had to witness, his face twisting into a sneer. He needed to get out of there, or at least distract himself with something until class started.

Minerva was standing in the Infirmary getting a brief update on how her student was doing but it wasn't news she wanted.

"I suppose, his health hasn't deteriorated so must be something." She said in reply to the information she'd been given and Poppy nodded solemnly.

"Headmistress, I would like to request the aid of my friend Ms. Spunelli if he doesn't change by the evening. I am fine monitoring him here, but there could be something I'm missing and another set of eyes would be handy."

"Of course, Poppy, I see no issues with this." She smiled sadly and went via Harry's bed to see for herself how he was.

The boy was still pale and the dark bags under his eyes looked awful in the hospital lighting. She wished there was something she could do but knew that until he woke there was nothing more to do than wait.

By the afternoon, Hermione was making her way to Defence when she caught up with Draco. They were going to be partners for the assignment and wondered if she should sit with him from the start or if there would be an outcry from her boyfriend. She wasn't sure what worried her more, the fact Harry hadn't improved or that having the Slytherin as her class partner would have her boyfriend seeing red.

"The blonde ducked into the classroom before she fell into step with him and made the decision to sit with Ron until the assignment was announced, hopefully they wouldn't need to move and they could talk about it all later.

"I trust you have found partners for the assignment as instructed. For the purpose of this class, please sit with said partner."

Hermione closed her eyes and bit her lip before slowly grabbing her bag and standing with her books clutched to her chest. Ron was turning to her about the partners and frowned when he saw her standing.

"Where are you going?" He asked and she opened her mouth a few times, wondering what to say. Whilst he had a big ego, there was a fragile heart hidden beneath it.

"Sorry, Ron. But I need to take this seriously and…" She trailed off and worried her lip, "I've asked Draco."

"What?" Ron's face went red and he twisted in his seat, outraged at what he was hearing, " _That_ guy?" He pointed.

"I'm sorry." She apologized again and moved to the back of the classroom.

"Mr. Weasely, if you could refrain from shouting in my classroom, that would be superb." Severus snapped and pointed his wand at the board, he didn't care who partnered with who.

"So much for bloody loyalty." Ron sniffed and looked around the classroom to find Seamus.

Hermione looked to Draco and gave him a reassuring smile, opening her notebook and waiting for the class to finally start. She knew that her Gryffindor boyfriend was shooting daggers at them the whole lesson but she didn't see anything wrong in wanting to get a good grade for the class.

At the end of class, Hermione had a plan of what the two of them were going to be doing and turned to the blonde in preparation of discussing said plan. However, Ron came over and towered over them both, his face hard and glaring at Draco.

"'Mione, let's go." He grunted but she looked up at him and frowned.

"In a minute." She said calmly and he growled before Seamus grabbed his arm, pulling him from the room.

When it was just the two of them, she smiled and passed him the list. He looked over it and nodded, he liked the sound of where their research was going to take them and gave her a small smile. It disappeared after a moment and when they stood he glanced at their Professor who was still at the front of the room, packing.

"I don't want to cause trouble between the two of you." He said softly and carefully placed his bag over a shoulder.

"He gets like this, don't worry about it." She smiled and picked up her books, clutching them to her chest. "I think we should start on this tonight. After dinner in the library?"

"Okay." He replied and she turned to leave.

Draco stood there for a moment, waiting for a certain Gryffindor to leave the corridor before he ventured out himself, he really wished Harry would wake up.

"Hermione Granger?" Severus was walking out of his classroom but paused when he reached his Slytherin.

"Yeah." He breathed remembering the night before in the Infirmary.

Severus said no more and then left the classroom, he had a staff meeting and hopefully there was news about his Slytherin. Unfortunately, there wasn't and as he prepared to leave, the Minerva called him back and she did not look impressed. He remembered the meeting with Harry's psychiatrist and swallowed a lump that formed in his throat.

"Hello, Severus." She greeted sarcastically but he remained impassive.

"Headmistress."

"So, Harry Potter." She said coolly and he looked about the room to only find a couple of staff members left as they packed up their notes.

"I assume there is no news yet?" He asked and she shook her head but it was clear her mind was on something else, something that had been said the day prior.

"You know what I'm going to ask you, Severus." Her tone was tight with underlying anger so he remained calm and nodded.

"His state of mind may not have been where it should have but he was surrounded by friends after the fact and I did not deem him to be a risk."

"That was _not_ your call to make." She snapped and he fully understood, "If it had of been dealt with correctly then this may not have happened."

Severus looked over his shoulder and found they were alone. He ran a hand through his hair and took a breath. She wasn't going to like what he said next but something had to be mentioned.

"I had instructed Mr. Potter, on your word, that he was to contact Dr. Fletcher and yet he didn't. He doesn't feel comfortable with that man."

"And he told you this, did he?"

 _Harry's not the only one who can't stand him_ , he thought.

"It was implied." Severus replied but she didn't look impressed, shaking her head.

"The next time something like this happens, Severus and you do not tell me there will be consequences. Do you hear me?" She snapped and he nodded.

Poppy was making herself some tea when the flue hissed at her and she turned to see the green glowing face of her friend from the Hospital. Allowing her entry, she poured them both some tea and they sat down for a moment to chat. Greta didn't seem overly concerned by the slow progress, however she had made a note that the teenager was malnourished and therefore would hinder his recovery.

"I would expect that he will surface tomorrow, the next day _at the very latest_." She emphasized and Poppy nodded.

"There are a lot of people hounding me about this, I need to go back to them with this type of information." She replied and the lady nodded.

"Understandable. I will have a quick check over his vitals before I leave."

Once their tea was finished and they had spoken for a while, Greta and Poppy made their way into the large room where the Slytherin was laying immobile. She conducted some tests and waved her wand a few times before conferring with the Matron's record of notes, nodding at various intervals.

"How are his potions going?"

"I am able to administer them but I have to coax his body to ingest them." Poppy said, starting to unwrap the bandages to change them.

Greta had a look at the wounds and frowned when she saw how far along the healing process they were. Deep wounds, even those cast via a wand would take longer than normal to close up and heal but these didn't seem to have sown together at all yet.

"These should be healing." She noted and Poppy nodded.

"I have tried the typical potions and salves but they don't seem to be activating."

"Let me check something back at the hospital, there might be something there we can use. If you'll excuse me for one moment."

Poppy went over to the cupboard and gathered a roll of fresh bandaging as she waited for her friend to come back. When she heard footsteps coming towards her, she wasn't expecting to see her colleague, Severus entering the hospital wing and gave the man a smile.

"Poppy." He nodded and went over to his student, feeling bile rise in his throat when he saw the open wounds.

"Yes, they aren't pleasant to look at, are they?" She commented, seeing his face.

"Should they not be healing over by now?" He asked, averting his eyes as she went to dress the cuts.

"That's what we are just discussing, Greta will be back shortly." Even as she said it, the flue in her office roared and out came the slim woman carrying a small wire crate of carious potions and lotions.

"You remember, Severus?" Poppy said as way of introduction and the two nodded at each other.

"Hello, Severus. Poppy, there are a few things we can try but I can tell you that a potion will do far more than a topical salve. However, considering Harry's malnourishment, I would recommend using both as a precaution. I had a brief chat with my station manager and he recommended these to add with the blood replenishing medications."

Poppy took the vials and inspected them, as did Severus and he nodded in agreement with the young woman.

"Nutrition potions." He said quietly and Greta nodded.

"Well spotted." She smiled at him, "It should boost his recovery and allow his body to come out of its stasis. Administer both when you give him the blood replenishing potion and if he isn't coming around in another day or so, let me know. I may need to take him back with me for observations."

Severus glanced down at the sick teen with mixed emotions. He was angry for what he'd done to himself and sad that he felt that this was the only option. He was vaguely aware that the two Witches were leaving the room but he didn't react to them and went to stand next to his Slytherin, the cuts now covered. The boys right arm was laying on top of the covers and as he stood there, he brushed his fingers across the back of his hand.

Closing his eyes he took a deep breath to control himself and spun on his heel to leave. Poppy was coming back into the room but he bowled past her and stalked down the corridor, even as she called out his name. When he made it to his office, he slammed the wooden door and stood at the edge of his desk, fingers curled over the edge as he held himself up. _I've failed you, Lily_ , he felt anguish and guilt spreading through his body. He could have stopped this if he hadn't been so bloody proud.

. . .

 _ **Comment, review, recommend.**_

 _ **I'd love to know what you think.**_


	12. Chapter 12

.

 ** _Admittedly, this isn't the best chapter I've written but there are a couple of things in here that are important._**

 ** _Ch13 won't be very far away._**

 ** _. . ._**

The following day, Hermione was comfortably eating her breakfast before going to see her friend when Ron came and sat down next to her. Not once since they had been back at school had he come over to sit at the Ravenclaw table but she didn't mind too much as long as he didn't interrupt her reading.

"Any news on Harry?" He asked and she sighed, closing her book.

"Nothing yet, I'm heading there in a minute to check."

"It's odd don't you think?"

"What is?"

"Well, he should be awake by now." Ron said bluntly and Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"It's complicated, Ron. Look, I'm going to go and see him if you want to join me."

"But I haven't had breakfast yet?" He said, motioning to the food in front of him.

Hermione gritted her teeth and gave him a glare before she left, dragging her bag behind her. His actions were just uncalled for and began to think that he didn't really care about Harry now. When she arrived at the Infirmary, she walked in slowly, her bag held tightly against her chest as she saw their Headmistress and Madame Pomfrey standing around the bed discussing something in hushed tones.

They looked at her when they felt her presence and Minerva smiled, turning her body to face her ex-Gryffindor.

"Good morning, Miss. Granger." She greeted and Hermione offered a sad smile, looking past them and seeing no change in her friend.

"He hasn't woken yet?" She said unsurely and both adults shook their heads.

"When he does, I'll make sure you're one of the first to know." Minerva offered and Hermione nodded, feeling a little less anxious but when a hand was felt on her shoulder, she looked at her Headmistress.

"Hermione, he is in good hands. Why don't you focus on your studies and be with your friends."

"But Harry – "

"Your conscious friends." She soothed and Hermione felt crushed.

Nodding and giving one last look to her friend, she left and cuddled her bag tightly. She knew after this that the day would travel slowly and she was correct. By dinner she was so far inside her own mind that she wasn't even eating but staring down at the table. She elected not to sit with the other Gryffindor's as she still felt sour about her boyfriend's reactions to many things. Glancing at the Slytherin table, she spotted a mop of blonde hair sitting amongst their year group and rested her chin on her hand, thinking.

Draco could feel eyes on him and saw the Ravenclaw looking at him, he blushed a little feeling like he was being scrutinized but she seemed to be spaced out. They were supposed to be meeting after dinner for their study session in the library so seeing as he had finished and she didn't appear to be eating anything, he stood.

She blinked and followed him with her eyes but put her head down and ran a finger along a deep scratch in the table. Looking back up when she saw green robes standing in front of her, she saw the hesitant look from Draco and tried to smile.

"Hi." He said awkwardly.

"Hey." She replied and let go of her bag.

"Did you want to go and study now?" He was holding his bag down by his side and one hand self-consciously went into his pocket.

"Oi, Ron. Check it out." Seamus pulled on his classmates jumper and pointed to down the table.

"Bloody hell." He muttered, standing hurriedly, "You lost there, Malfoy?" He said, storming over to the Slytherin.

Draco looked to Hermione and she looked warily at the Gryffindor. He didn't respond, instead he looked down at the floor and went to take a step backwards.

"She caught your eye, huh? Want to make moves on my girlfriend, do you?" Ron continued and with a shove, pushed Draco backwards.

"Ron!" Hermione shouted and went to run around the table so she could intervene.

"You better keep your hands off her, ferret! We both know what happened at your disgusting manor!" He shouted and went to give the blonde another push but Hermione cut in front of them, holding her hands out.

"Stop it, Ron!" She shrieked.

The staff watched the scene in front of them with mixed reactions. Minerva was furious and had stood, making her way down to the scene but Severus sat there in disbelief. Even though Granger was a Ravenclaw, all he could see were two Gryffindor's and a Slytherin with one fiery Gryffindor standing in the middle. She reminded him so much of Lily in this situation that he felt it would not be in his best interests to get involved.

"Mr. Weasely, you will cease your ridiculous behavior right this instant." The Headmistresses Scottish shrill rung clearly through the Great Hall.

"Come on." Hermione pulled Draco by the arm as they walked away slowly.

"Hermione, what the hell?" Ron called after her and went to follow when a strong hand grabbed him by the collar.

"Thank you, Hagrid." Minerva said in relief and then addressed the Gryffindor seriously, "I don't know what's gotten into you, Mr. Weasely but your actions are a disgrace and you should be ashamed. Twenty points from Gryffindor and you will be serving detention tomorrow after classes."

Ron shook himself out of the giants grip and straightened his robes before going back to the rest of Gryffindor. Seamus was the first to voice his opinion on the situation but Ron barked at them to shut it and they moved on from the conversation.

"I'm sorry about Ron, he's never acted like that before." Hermione commented as they walked through the corridors.

"He hasn't really changed has he? I can remember his attitude a few years back."

"Well… I wouldn't say he's gotten worse." Hermione defended, whilst she was upset with the red head, she wasn't about to go slandering him and especially not to someone she really didn't know.

 **. . .**

There was a flurry of activity very early on in the morning, Madame Pomfrey's robes flapped like a whip as she stalked between the hospital room and her office. The boy had taken her by surprise in the early hours with his cries and had just managed to settle him into a comfortable slumber. She had informed the Headmistress of the news and was making her way back to her office when she heard rushed steps coming towards her.

With her wand out, the doors to the Infirmary closed and not waiting for them to reach her, continued to her office. Minerva reached the door first, her usually calm composure gone as she made her way inside and looking at their Resident Medi-Witch expectantly and motioning to the locked doors.

"No, I won't have anyone going in there this morning. He needs his rest and not to be bombarded with questions."

"So, he is awake?" Minerva asked and Poppy stood her ground.

"Mr. Potter woke this morning, I have settled him and he will continue to rest for the remainder of the day."

"Well, that is a relief." Minerva took a seat and sighed, a huge weight lifted off her shoulders.

"I am keeping a very close eye on him, you have my word. If anything changes I'll let you know." Poppy raised an eyebrow at the Headmistress, this was her Wing of the school and even Minerva wasn't exempt from her requirements.

"Of course, Poppy." She stood graciously and went to leave, the doors firmly shut and she could tell they were spelled to only open for the Medi-Witches signature.

Walking into the Great Hall she found Severus already sitting there and indulged him with the good news. He didn't respond to her verbally but gave a curt nod to indicate he had heard what she said.

The Slytherin Head of House was elated but he kept it very close to himself. He intended on telling the boy exactly how he felt about it all, how selfish he had been but would wait until he had been interrogated by the Headmistress. Speaking of interrogation, he wondered when the psychiatrist would be back to assess his Slytherin, hoping that there would be a small chance he could sit in on the session.

Taking a deep breath and looking out over the students he shook his head, getting far too ahead of himself. He needed to be patient. He supposed that he should inform Draco, then perhaps he could find some peace with what had happened. He worried about the teen, he seemed to take the absence of his new friend heavily.

Draco looked up when his Professor stood in front of him, the man's face giving nothing away as he peered down. Frowning, he went to stand but a hand was held out to stop him.

"No need, Mr. Malfoy. I simply wanted to inform you that Mr. Potter is conscious." Severus gave the teen a knowing look at this.

Draco let out a breath and when his Professor moved away, he could see Hermione looking directly at him. Fearing a repeat from the day prior from the over protective boyfriend he didn't move, instead he nodded showing his happiness in his eyes. Her face lit up and he was surprised she didn't turn around to tell the Gryffindor's that were sitting behind her.

The Ravenclaw was so happy, but immediately felt prickly that the Headmistress hadn't told her yet. She'd watched the woman walk into the hall, so was she going to say it on her way out or had she forgotten? Whichever, she knew that her friend was awake now and once she'd finished her breakfast decided to go and see Harry.

"Miss. Granger?" Hermione stopped at the entrance of the hall as the Headmistress came to see her.

"Good morning, Professor. I heard about Harry." She said with a smile and the woman gave her a warm expression.

"Madame Pomfrey has forbidden any visitors until has rested. So, if you were intending to see him now, I'll save you the trouble of a wasted journey. Your friendship is strong and he is lucky to have a loyal friend, Hermione. Give it till this afternoon and then go and check on him."

"Oh, okay." Hermione replied, suddenly unsure and pouted as she turned to find Draco watching her.

In Potions, Hermione stirred her mixture absentmindedly. She didn't know what she would say to her friend, how did one start a conversation when you thought they'd tried to end their life. She didn't know if this was the exact reason that he landed himself in such a situation but he'd worried a lot of people.

Glancing into her potion, she was horrified to see it was _not_ how it should look. Scouring the instructions to see where she went wrong, there was no way it could be fixed. Sighing and sitting on the stool, the flames of the Bunsen burner captured her attention.

"Miss. Gallawere, that potion is ruined. I suggest you take it off the heat and clean your station."

Closing her eyes, she reigned in her temper. No matter how many times she corrected him and informed him what her name was he just never remembered. She couldn't even remember the last time she had a potion that had gone so wrong; trying to forget about the book that Harry had scored in Potions before they left school.

Over in the Infirmary, Harry dozed feeling like he was lying on a cloud. His mind felt blurry and whilst he could hear sounds he wasn't sure what they were.

Madame Pomfrey still refused to let anyone see the teen as people started coming to see him after classes. The doors were firmly shut and for extra protection, locked. The boy still looked pale and tried to rouse him so she could give him his potions.

Tired eyes slowly fluttered open and the Medi-Witch waved her wand at the lighting to dim it for him, it didn't help that much due to the natural light pouring in through the glass windows but it was something. Once his eyes seemed to adjust, she looked down on him, examining the bloodshot whites around his green eyes, he looked very sick.

"Hello, Harry. You are in the Hospital Wing and are safe." She used a very soft tone with him but his eyes were unmoving as he gazed at the stone ceiling.

Frowning at his lack of response, she readied herself with one of his blood replenishing potions and held it within his peripheral so he could see what she was holding.

"Harry, I need to give you some medicine. Could you please open your mouth?" She leaned forward and tentatively put a hand on his shoulder but he still remained unresponsive.

Not wanting to stress him, she put the vial back in the container with the others she had for him and took her wand. It wasn't going to be kind but she needed to know that he was mentally there with her, so casting _lumos_ she moved her wand in front of the teen's face and watched as his face distorted and eyes closed at the brightness. Satisfied that he could hear her, she tried again.

"Harry, you need to take these. I am going to administer them with or without your help." Her words had bite but her tone was calm, to which it had the desired effect and she saw his lips part.

It was a slow process, but once the medicine was in his system, she watched his eyes close again and a deep sigh signaled his departure into sleep. Satisfied, she took the container and went back outside making sure to keep the doors locked as she walked into her office.

By nightfall, a crowd of anxious Witches and Wizards were now standing outside the Infirmary doors. Poppy was inside with Greta as they spoke about the boys progress and the possible reasons for his bloodshot eyes. When they finished up, Poppy went to unlock the doors and found quickly shut the doors behind her, trapping Greta inside.

"No, you're not going in. Not all at once, he is still resting." She snapped.

"Miss. Granger, I appreciate your concern but please take yourself and Miss. Lovegood away. I will let you see him tomorrow morning if he has a good night." Her tone was not to be messed with and Hermione pouted before taking Luna's arm and walking away.

"Minerva, Severus." She pointed to the door and went to step in when they found a wand stuck in their way, "The moment you start interrogating him is when you're out." She snapped again and both of them nodded.

The Medi-Witch didn't care if Minerva pulled the Headmistress card, she had a responsibility for the health of those in her care.

When they walked in, Greta was walking away with a small smile on her face and wrote some notes on a clipboard she was carrying. Greeting them warmly, she stepped back and let the others stand around the bed.

"He just fell asleep again." Greta spoke softly to the Matron who nodded and clasped her hands in front of her, making sure her colleagues didn't break the rules.

"When will he be up for talking?" Minerva asked.

"I will need to assess him again in the morning, he…" She looked to Greta quickly, "Was not the most responsive when he _did_ wake today."

"Is there something else going on?" The Headmistress put hands on her hips.

"Harry has experienced hemorrhaging of the eyes, I don't believe it is too serious at this point but Poppy will monitor him throughout the night."

"What could have caused this?" Minerva questioned, her motherly instincts overriding her sadness.

"It's unclear but I can only assume that with his explosion of magic and loss of blood his body went into a state of shock. Who was it that found him?"

"Myself and our Gate Keeper, Hagrid."

"Was he moving when you found him?"

"No, I don't believe he was."

"Then you would have just missed it, might have been for the best. Being near someone who is having a magical fit isn't something you want to be standing close to." Greta put the clipboard down on the tray table.

"Poppy, it's getting late. I should be getting back."

"Yes, of course." The Matron replied and ushered her out of the room, her wand pointed at her colleagues in warning before disappearing.

 **. . .**

Madame Pomfrey was administering Harry's potions the next morning when Hermione walked into the Hospital room. Clearing her throat, she came to stand at the end of the bed and watched as her friend was coaxed into swallowing his potions. He didn't look himself at all; he had no expression on his face and wasn't quite looking at her, rather through her.

"Miss. Granger, if I could have a word." Poppy said, stepping back and taking the tray of potions with her.

"Am I allowed to stay and chat with him?" Hermione asked with hope and the Matron nodded.

"Please do not bombard him with questions, nor expect that he will respond to you. He is very much in his own world so do not be upset or concerned. He is very weak so I must ask you not to try and move him, if he starts to feel any discomfort whatsoever, please come and get me."

Hermione nodded and slowly walked back into the room where he friend was propped up on pillows, still staring at the same spot across the room as when she had originally arrived. Standing to his right, she tried a small smile and said good morning but the Medi-Witch had been right and he didn't seem like he was in the room at all.

"We've missed you, Harry. And classes have been full on." Chewing her bottom lip, her brows furrowed together and tears sprung to her eyes.

"I'm glad you're okay." She let out a sob and reached down to take his hand like she had been all week.

"Please, Harry, say something." Tears rolled down her cheeks and she kneeled next to the bed, crying softly as she received no response from her friend.

She didn't like this Harry, if you could call him that. It was like he had been wiped with a memory charm and couldn't remember who or where he was. It was frightening to see and now understood what Madame Pomfrey had said when he wasn't himself. His eyes looked awful as well, they appeared red and very sore.

"Miss. Granger?" The soft voice came from the door and Hermione stood, wiping her tears away as the Matron made her way over, "I know this is difficult. Would you like me to fetch someone for you?"

"N-No, that's okay, Madame Pomfrey. I might… I might go and have breakfast." Hermione sniffed and wiped more tears away, the woman nodded in understanding.

Freely sobbing down the corridor she received curious looks from the other students who had no idea what was going on. She couldn't get the red eyes out of her mind, they looked awful, _he_ looked awful, and she couldn't do a thing about it.

"He will be okay." Luna was sitting at the Ravenclaw table when Hermione sat down, the blonde even took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Just this simple action set her off again and facing down, hunching her shoulders towards the table, she covered her face with both hands and sobbed uncontrollably. All this time with worrying about him and he wakes only to be a despondent mess who wouldn't of even know what day it was.

When she made it to Defence, she sat down next to Draco, still partly crying but had pulled herself together a little. The blonde looked over to her and twisted the quill he had in his hand, not sure what to say. He thought perhaps she had been to see Harry before class but he couldn't be sure, for all he knew she could have had a fight with the Gryffindor boyfriend.

"I thought today, I would let you work on the research project during class. If that means you need to use the library then you are free to do so once you've signed out." Severus said, holding a piece of parchment up, "Miss. Granger, might I have a word?"

Hermione was surprised and hastily wiping a tear she stood and flattened the front of her uniform. Going to the front of the room, Ron noticed his girlfriend was crying and frowned, he didn't think he'd done anything to warrant that, then wondered if Malfoy had. He gave the blonde a brief glare before watching Hermione.

Standing with his back to the class and his arms folded against his chest, Severus looked off to the side, feeling awkward about how he was going to say what he needed to without sounding odd. Minerva had spoken to him prior to class and had informed him that she was upset but he didn't know how to deal with this particular student.

"Potter, yes?" His voice was quiet but the class weren't exactly model students as they spoke amongst each other.

Hermione nodded at his question.

"If you would prefer not to be here this morning, I would understand. In fact, I insist that you either go back to Ravenclaw common room, even the library."

"Sir?" He cheeks were red from crying but he tried not to look at her.

"Professor Flitwick has already been made aware of this offer, the Headmistress brokered it. The option is there." He wanted to grumble at the situation, this was not him at all.

"Okay." Hermione replied softly and peered past her Professor to Draco who wasn't watching them, "May I take Draco to the library with me, sir?" She asked and he nodded, turning slightly to point at the parchment.

She went to step away but hesitated, looking up at the man and mouthing a _thank you_ , before she went up to her partner and told him the plan. Ron watched as the two of them left, he was almost out of his seat but Seamus held him back and reminded him of the assignment.

"Screw the assignment, that slimy git is with my girlfriend." He hissed and grabbed his textbook.

"Mr. Weasely, whilst details of your relationship seem to find themselves in the open, I myself do no need to hear about them. Perhaps instead of worrying about others you should concentrate on passing this work."

"Asshole." He muttered to himself and turned to a page he thought might be useful.

"Can I ask what's wrong?" Draco asked as they walked to the library.

"It's Harry."

"Any news?"

"I went to see him, he's awake but… He's not _there_." She emphasized and the blonde frowned.

"Not there?"

"I don't want to talk about it, if you want to see him then do so but don't say I didn't warn you." She replied and felt a shiver run through her body as they set themselves up in a corner.

Poppy threw some powder into her flue and poked her head into Minerva's office to see if she was there. Seeing the woman at her desk, he called her through and moments later she appeared.

"Good morning, Poppy." The Headmistress greeted but Poppy had her mouth set in a hard line.

"I'm concerned." She said and Minerva's positive mood took a nose dive.

"Those are two words I would rather not hear." She replied and Poppy gave her an understanding look.

"I am calling my friend back in tonight, Mr. Potter is very out character. Now, I know that he is still recovering and weak but something isn't right. I have to be honest with you, Minerva."

"And I very much appreciate that you are. May I see him?"

"Please be careful and do not ask too many questions."

They both walked into the room and Harry was now laying flat, the Medi-Witch had moved him after his potions in case he wanted to have a sleep but when they came closer his eyes were wide open and he stared at the ceiling.

"Good morning, Potter." Minerva said, coming to stand next to him, "Madame Pomfrey tells me you've made progress."

Harry lay there immobile, not responding in any way.

Minerva frowned and clasped her hands together down her front with a flourish to keep up a positive mood. She went to open her mouth again but shut it when she saw the teen close his eyes and looked to the Matron for an explanation.

"Physically, he appears to be fine. There should be no medical reason why he doesn't respond or communicate but I want my friend to check any way. I do believe it's psychological."

"Would it be too early to have Dr. Fletcher come and see him?"

"Very much so. I would prefer that he is able to sit up by himself and hold a conversation before he gets his head looked at."

"I understand, thank you, Poppy."

 **. . .**

 **Comment, review, critique.**

 **Ch13 is so much better :D**


	13. Chapter 13

.

Slytherin had been met with a large defeat at the hands of Gryffindor in Quidditch. There were a lot of wounded snakes walking about the castle with their tails between their legs as Gryffindor's chanted, skipping through the castle in triumph. Horace was sitting next to Severus at the head table for dinner and grumbled miserably, thinking about how things could have been different if they'd had their star Seeker playing.

Severus refrained from making comment, regardless of whether Harry had been on the team or not, after a week he still wasn't responding to any of the medications. Of course he hadn't actually been to the Infirmary to check on him but the Headmistress had been giving him regular updates on progress. He was beginning to feel frustrated with the teen, he was physically fine now so why was he not getting ready to get into classes?

Perhaps it was high time he hit the teen with some truths and kick him into getting up and about. He doubted that the boy was going to speak with him, from what Minerva had mentioned he hadn't even uttered a word to his friends. Speaking of which, Draco had been looking miserable over the past week and their earlier conversation struck him once more. He doubted that their chat had inspired him into pushing through his classes and maintaining excellent grades. _Perhaps Harry is having more of an impact on him than we realise_ , he thought and took a sip of wine as he watched the blonde.

"Pity, Harry wasn't able to play today." Horace said again and this time Severus had had enough, placing his goblet not so gently down on the table.

"I've had enough of this; Mr. Potter is not going to join the team no matter how many times you beg, barter or bribe. He is ill, Horace. There are more important things for him to worry about than flying circles chasing some idiotic golden ball."

"Severus, not in front of the students." Minerva reminded, leaning over when a couple had turned their heads.

"I am very aware of where we are, Minerva. Do not lecture me." And with that, Severus left.

Minerva pursed her lips and sat back in her seat irritated at the tone he had used, Horace blinked several times trying to comprehend what had happened and if his colleague had really spoken to the Headmistress like that.

Poppy was administering her patient with his medications, she seemed happy with his progress but was still concerned that he wasn't very talkative. She didn't get much of a response from him in general, but those few words had been key on working out how he was fearing. This time was no different but she noticed how he stiffened when the footsteps behind her stopped.

"Good evening, Severus." The Medi-Witch greeted, continuing with the next potion.

"No." Harry's voice was quiet, deep and hoarse and he turned his head away when she went to put the vial up to his lips.

"Mr. Potter, you know very well that you need to take this. Then you can relax.

Fear was prominent in his eyes when she made contact with them and he looked ready to burst into tears. This was far more than she'd received since he arrived and wondered if it had something to do with his Head of House that was looming behind her.

"Potter, I won't ask you again."

"Get. Out." He struggled to reach any form of volume in his voice which caused him to distress more and he fisted his hands.

"Mr. Potter, that is no way to speak to Madame Pomfrey."

Try as he might, Harry couldn't find the physical or magical energy to do anything about it. He was quite literally trapped inside his own body and all he wanted to do was let something explode. Squeezing his eyes shut, Harry's nails dug dangerously hard into his palms.

"Potter, I need to you to calm, please." Poppy was getting worried and turned to face Severus with a desperate expression, "I think you better leave."

"I will be going nowhere." He replied and stepped forward, it was time the boy stopped being pathetic.

Grabbing the front of his shirt, he pulled Harry up so his shoulders were lifted off the bed and suddenly his eyes, those bright green eyes, finally focussed on him with surprise. Pleased, he shook the boy gently, his face hard and full of malice.

"You will take this medication and you will focus on getting well." Harry's eyes narrowed.

"Severus, put him down." Poppy's voice shrieked and she went to pull her wand.

"I did _not_ spend eighteen years of my life protecting you with the risk of being killed myself, just so you could go and off yourself when things got difficult."

"Last warning, Severus."

"I'm _disappointed_ , Potter." He shook him gently again and then dropped him back onto the bed, his face twisting angrily and he saw the boys eyes widen.

"Severus!" Poppy had her wand drawn and was pointed straight at the man's head.

Not listening to her, he spun and left, pushing past her and storming out of the room. It had taken a lot for him not to do more; he was livid. How dare he refuse treatment for his reckless behaviour. He was only in this mess because of himself. He sighed once he reached his office, standing in the doorway and turning to look out over his classroom. Once calm he thought about this logically; it could have been that the boy didn't want to see him but he couldn't know for sure. Not without asking Poppy about it.

He wasn't surprised that half an hour later, he had the Headmistress walking into his office. Just as he was about to retire for the evening, her presence was irritating but quite necessary. She looked murderous but he took it on the chin and offered her a seat.

"I do not want to sit, Severus. How could you? He isn't well and you thought that it would be okay to man handle the poor boy?"

"Minerva, please. Enough of the dramatics. If he does not get his rear end into gear soon, Christmas will be upon us and he will be a walking corpse. Someone needs to take a strong hand with him."

"Are you suggesting my own work is not enough?"

It was a loaded question and Severus knew better than to answer it; instead he made himself comfortable in his chair and regarded her coolly.

"I suggest you stay away from him until he is better."

"I will not. Not until he shows me that he is serious about getting well."

"Are you directly defying me also, Severus?" She put her hands on her hips testily and watched him stand.

"Yes, Headmistress. I am. Go and speak to your predecessor, he will agree with me." He snapped and frowned when she smiled sarcastically.

"Why Severus, I am."

He grunted and stood up straight, coming around the front of his desk.

"You know my thoughts; and I give my word that I will not – _man handle_ – as you put it, again."

"Make sure to it you don't." Minerva replied hotly and without another word she left.

Severus cradled his head in his hands, feeling a migraine coming and let out a sigh. He wasn't afraid of her, he could handle his own. However, Harry Potter clearly couldn't even handle himself, and that was going to change.

 **. . .**

Harry lay awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling when morning broke. His medication had worn off sometime in the night and his body was left aching all over; arms in particular felt like they were on fire but at least when he moved them they responded. He had no concept of what day it was, or even how long he'd been there.

 _I'm disappointed._

Professor Snape's words rung clearly in his mind and taunted him the whole time he was laying there awake. He wasn't sure why they affected him so much but it had got him thinking. He'd disappointed a lot of people; his teachers, friends, family. Even just imagining the sadness in his mothers eyes would have been enough to make him feel incredibly guilty for what he'd done but it was just getting too much. The dreams needed to stop, the anxiety had to go away, and the pressure of hiding the fact he was tired, sad and frustrated was crushing him.

Hearing footsteps he closed his eyes and feigned his sleep but when the tell-tale sound of glass clinking together was heard he opened them and looked at Madame Pomfrey. He didn't like the way his medications were starting to make him feel, he wanted to think clearly and articulate his wishes. He opened his mouth to speak but all came out was a scratchy morning grumble. Helping him into a sitting position she produced a cup of cold water and moved to support him drinking it.

Immediate relief is what Harry felt and he closed his eyes happily, savouring the feel until he was given another sip. Then, came the part he was dreading. The potions. He wanted to stop her and ask if he could finish with them but he knew that she was only giving them to him so he could get better. The last one left a foul taste in his mouth and seeing this, she gave him some more water.

"How are you feeling this morning, Potter?" She asked, not expecting a long winded explanation.

"Muddled." Was the quiet, hoarse response and she frowned.

"I could expect you to feel groggy still." She replied and he nodded, seeing the medication kicking in, "You will feel tired, get some sleep. Hopefully we can start weaning you off these potions."

He liked the sound of that and watched as she walked away. He definitely felt better by the day but right now all he wanted to do was sleep; so closing his eyes he felt himself drifting but not before he heard a deep voice from out in the corridor. The last thing he thought he remembered seeing was the widened black eyes of his Professor telling him to look at him.

Hermione was watching the head table, Madame Pomfrey hardly ever came during meals times so that must have meant her friend was getting much better. His despondent expression still stuck in her mind and it was hard to think he'd be better but she knew she had to be there for support. When the Headmistress stopped by her and gave her a brief update, she beamed and rushed off, not caring that Ron hadn't followed her.

Harry was lightly dozing when she arrived, and slowly walked into the room, standing next to his bed. Her footsteps weren't enough to rouse him, so she tentatively picked his right hand up and ran her thumb over the soft skin slowly. He seemed to know there was a presence and she felt her heart rate increase.

"Hey, Harry." She said quietly, not wanting to startle him.

Sleepy eyes opened, Harry was very drowsy which was a side effect to the potions he'd taken but he was able to lay eyes on her, even if she was blurred through his lashes.

"Mmime." He tried speaking her name but he wasn't sure it came out as anything in particular.

"Oh, Harry. I've missed you so much, you worried us." She rushed out, her voice still very soft.

He didn't remember much else after that or how long she stayed with him as he felt his eyes close and darkness claim him. Hermione didn't seem to mind too much and stayed with him until it was class time.

By nightfall, Harry's stomach grizzled unhappily, he had been feeling rather peckish all afternoon when he slipped in and out of sleep. He wanted to get the Matron's attention but he knew that he'd have to wait until his night medications to speak with her as he doubted his voice would carry. Lucky for him, he had a visitor. Hermione Granger, his best friend. He didn't know how he felt about seeing her and felt quite silly but she smiled at him warmly when she saw he was awake and trying to sit up. He didn't want to be lying down when she was here.

"Goodness, Harry. You're looking so much better today." She commented, taking a seat next to the bed.

"H-Hi." He rasped out and, if possible, she beamed even brighter that he had responded to her.

"Do you feel up to talking?" She asked softly, not wanting to disrupt Madame Pomfrey who might kick her out.

He considered her question for a moment, he didn't know what to say to her. Actually, he frowned when he realised he wasn't sure why he was even here and feeling so weak. Professor Snape said he'd tried to off himself, did that mean he'd tried to commit suicide? There was a massive hole in his memory where he felt there should have been something. Instinctively, he knew that he'd had a nightmare but things were blurry.

He shook his head, "Water."

"Oh, that I can do." She smiled and poured some water into a cup that was next to his bed but when she went to hand it to him, he hesitated.

He'd never been given the chance to hold anything yet, so with heavy arms he took the cup slowly and paced himself. Hermione could see the struggle but she refrained from mothering him for now and just let him do this. It was difficult and the water seemed heavy with his weighted arms but he managed to take a sip before he felt the cup slipping from his fingers. Hermione was in there right away and covered his hands with her own and aided him in having some more before taking it away from him.

"Thanks." He said quietly and she smiled still.

"I don't know if you've registered anything I've said for the past week but – " She stopped when his eyes went wide. "Yes, you've been out for nearly two weeks." She filled him in and he immediately felt his stomach knot.

"So much has happened, but doesn't it always feel like that? Did you want the short version?" She offered and when he refocussed on her, he nodded.

After a while, Hermione noticed some discomfort in her friend and then heard a growling in his stomach. She asked if he was hungry and with a hesitant nod she went to find Madame Pomfrey. Harry couldn't believe how much he'd missed out on or how long he'd been away from classes.

"Madame Pomfrey said she would get something easy for you." The Ravenclaw came back and took her seat once more.

"You've had a lot of us worried. We still don't know what happened. Everyone has been very tight lipped."

"Club." Harry responded sadly, he didn't know what was happening either.

"Join the club? I'm surprised by that. Hasn't Professor McGonagall spoken to you?"

"He doesn't talk to anyone, Miss. Granger. You and I are exceptions." Madame Pomfrey came walking into the room with a tray that had a bowl on it.

Hermione felt a little pride in hearing that. He was her best friend, so it made sense but to not have spoken to the Headmistress… That was strange. Perhaps he was worried that he'd get into trouble.

"Vegetable broth, Potter. Something easy to start you off. Do you think you'll manage?" She asked and he shot Hermione a hopeful glance.

"I can help him, Matron." She replied for him and whilst the Witch didn't look happy she conceded and warned them not to get the bed messy.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I know you want to do this yourself." Hermione empathised and took the bowl.

"Fine." Harry replied and opened his mouth as she spooned some soup into his mouth.

It wasn't too hard, he was relatively in control of his upper body but he seemed to struggle with his arms. They were heavily bandaged, all the way up his biceps. Hermione realised there was always a possibility he'd been attacked, she had completely over looked that point. Why had she thought that he'd hurt himself over everything else?

"Did you want to try? Or are you full?" She asked quietly, hearing footsteps approaching.

"Enough." Harry replied and even mustered a small smile.

"Well, it's not that much but at least you've eaten." Her motherly instincts took over and she took the napkin, passing it to him so he could wipe his mouth.

She moved and put the bowl back onto the tray that was down the bed and took the napkin. However, when she went to stand to take the leftovers away, she felt a hand on her wrist and it stopped her. Harry's expression as vulnerable, he looked lost like a little child, and her it pulled at her heart.

"Th-Thank – you." He struggled with it but the sentiment was there and she melted at his attempt.

"You're my best friend." She replied and tried to do something with his fringe in a loving gesture.

His fringe was far too long and she remembered fondly the day she tried to give him a haircut. Smiling she excused herself and went into Madame Pomfrey's office where the Medi-Witch was writing a long piece of parchment.

"He didn't eat much." She commented, setting the tray down.

"I expected as much. Did he say anything?" Madame Pomfrey looked up and stopped what she was doing.

"No, only replied with one-word answers." Hermione didn't look discouraged when she said this, "But I suppose we had a conversation nonetheless."

"Well, that's more than he's given me, Miss. Granger. Thank you."

"Matron… I know you said I should ask the Headmistress but is there anything you can tell me about what happened? Perhaps I could help if I knew."

Honourable though Hermione's intentions were, Poppy wasn't going to inform her of what happened. But she suggested that Minerva should seek the girl out and tell her. If Harry had a good night and she made it to the hall for breakfast she decided to bring it up, but for now her patient needed to rest.

"I appreciate your concern, Miss. Granger. However; in this instance I am not the right person to divulge such knowledge. I will speak to Professor McGonagall in the morning about meeting with you. I agree that Potter should have his friends. Hopefully you can bring something out that I, nor Professor Snape or Professor McGonagall can."

"Professor Snape has come to see him?" Hermione failed to hide her surprise, and frankly she surprised herself with the question, she didn't even consider that he was Harry's Head of House.

"You should go back to Ravenclaw common room. I can look after, Potter from here."

"Of course. Thank you for letting me stay." Hermione smiled and then left the room, going back to see Harry who now had his eyes closed.

"I'll come back and see you in the morning." She told him, whether he was awake or not and put her hand on his forehead.

 **. . .**

Hermione was sitting with Neville and Luna at lunch the following day when Ron came over at sat next to his girlfriend. He took her hand in his and she smiled distractedly at him as she read. He seemed to want to say something but remained quiet, he was worried about her and felt like they never saw each other. He wondered if they could spend some time together today, he was still sore from the game yesterday so a quiet day with her sounded perfect.

"You went to see Harry last night didn't you?" Neville asked as he tapped his quill against the page of his book.

"He's doing better, but he doesn't really say much."

"Do you think we should pay him a visit?" He asked once more and Hermione considered it.

"I think he might be up for some visitors. I was actually going to see him soon, you should come with me."

"Harry will be feeling very overwhelmed." Luna chirped in, her dreamlike voice floating softly through the air.

"Don't you think he might like the support?" Hermione asked her.

"He knows who his friends are." She replied and Hermione looked at her with a pained expression before glancing back at her book.

"'Mione, I thought we could spend the afternoon together." Ron whispered to her when she'd looked away.

"We can do that. I still want to see, Harry first though."

"Yeah, of course."

"Miss. Granger – Oh, Mr. Weasely, good you're here too." They turned to see the Headmistress coming towards them.

"Good afternoon, Professor." Hermione replied.

"Madame Pomfrey has spoken to me in regards to your visit with, Potter. Did you have a moment now to chat?"

"Of course. Actually, we were just going to see him."

"Then my office is on the way." Minerva pointed out the door and Hermione shared a look with Ron before they left in her footsteps.

"We'll just… wait." Neville shouted after them awkwardly, but Luna just smiled at him knowingly and took his hand.

"Everything will be fine." She soothed and the ex-Gryffindor nodded mutely.

In the Headmistress's office, Hermione and Ron took a seat in front of her desk and the tension rose immediately. Hermione noticed it but when she looked at Ron he seemed oblivious. She paid him no mind and watched the Headmistress sit, something appeared to be troubling her.

"What happened to him, Professor?" Hermione asked, unable to stop herself.

"I appreciate this must be frustrating for you both. Harry is not well, but I would assume you both knew this. He certainly has loyal friends who look out for him, Hermione you in particular, for getting him into therapy. However, whether you are aware or not, Harry has not been keeping up with sessions with Dr. Fletcher. There may be some correlation with this stopping and his return to Hogwarts this year but he experienced a flashback."

Hermione put her hand to her mouth in preparation for what was no doubt about to be said.

"Until he starts talking, we are unsure exactly happened but he turned the anger onto himself. I will forgo the description of what was found but he is a very ill man."

"Harry…" Hermione felt tears in her eyes, she could only imagine the pain her friend had felt during this time.

"Yes, Hermione. That's what the bandages represent. There will be scars that neither Madame Pomfrey or Professor Snape can heal."

"He tried to kill himself?" Ron's voice finally spoke up and Hermione looked at him angrily.

"Didn't you hear her, Ron? He wasn't himself!"

"Miss. Granger, please." Minerva reminded her of where they were before she turned to the red head. "There was extensive damage to his body that could have easily meant he didn't make it through the night. However, Madame Pomfrey and Professor Snape did their best to heal him."

"How could he do this?" Ron, seemingly not understanding what their Headmistress had said, continued.

"Ron, he wasn't in his right mind. Do you remember when Voldemort would get inside his head?"

"Well, yeah – "

"I wouldn't be surprised if he was flashing back to that. You _know_ how that impacted him when he was sleeping."

Ron indeed _did_ understand that. There had been many times his friend had woken the dormitory with his screams after a nightmare or vision. He could never understand how it affected Harry but he could appreciate that it was tiring, especially the unknowing. It had certainly put a strain on their friendship a few several times.

"Mr. Potter has been through a lot. Had some provisions been made for him, we may not be in this position but alas we cannot change the past. He will recover but it is slow going for now."

"Provisions, Professor? You mean people were aware of this but didn't say anything? Who would do that?"

Minerva gave the girl a serious look and pursed her lips. She wasn't going to say, she knew the Ravenclaw was a smart Witch, surely she'd be able to work it out for herself. Judging by the dark look she sported, she'd hazard a guess and say she had worked it out but didn't voice her thoughts.

"Dr. Fletcher will be making a call through in the next week or so. Hopefully, Potter is up and about by then and is able to talk. In the mean time, I suggest you make sure he knows where his friends are. He's going to need you in his recovery."

"Of course, Professor." Hermione smiled sadly.

"And you may want to extend that invitation to, Mr. Malfoy. I see they have grown close this year."

"I will." Hermione replied.

In the corridor, Hermione seethed but she tried to reign in her temper. Of course there had been one person that would have known. Draco may have been that innocent looking student but he could have easily told Professor Snape what was going on. Surely he would have stepped in if necessary. _Wait… perhaps she was referring to Professor Snape all along. She did just mention Draco._ Their defence teacher always had a knack for gathering information and intelligence being an ex-spy. Frowning, Ron was looking at her strangely, but she took his hand and then walked towards the Infirmary.

Harry was sitting up in bed by this point and he had a book in his hand. She smiled at him and rushed over, giving him a gentle hug before standing back with Ron. The Slytherin seemed to look at Ron a moment, as if he were considering something before his eyes settled on her.

"How are you feeling today?" She asked and then went to look at the book he was reading.

"Fine." He replied and she nodded.

"Gryffindor won against Slytherin in the last game." Ron said out of the blue and Hermione shot him a dark look but he was only trying to lighten things up.

It didn't seem to affect Harry however and the brunette just looked at him before turning back to his book.

"It's good to see that you're getting back into classwork." She commented after seeing that he was reading his Transfiguration book.

"Mate, are you going to say anything?" Ron asked, getting frustrated with the situation, he thought Harry was being quite rude.

"Didn't you listen to what Professor McGonagall just said?" Hermione hissed and Harry tensed.

"McGonagall?" Harry said, posing it as a question.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Harry. She had a brief chat with us about what was going on. I wanted to know what happened to you. She couldn't really tell us all that much though." She could see the hurt in her friends eyes so she tried to play it off but the damage had evidently been done.

"Go."

"But Harry – "

"You heard what he said." Severus had only come to check on his Slytherin to see how he was getting on after his stern word and was pleased to hear what appeared to be conversation.

"Yes, sir." Hermione knew her place but she glared at their Defence Professor, pulling Ron behind her as she left, knowing there wasn't anything she could do about the situation.

"I wish you would be a little more sensitive, Ron." She whispered when they were out in the corridor.

"What do you mean? I just asked some questions."

"Oh, how Gryffindor beat Slytherin? Or did you forget he's not in Gryffindor anymore? He isn't going to open up and talk if you're going to tell him to."

"Well… I'm just doing what I always do." He sulked and Hermione looked at him sadly, she supposed he was right, the red head was quite stubborn like that.

"Come on, let's not dwell on what just happened. We wanted to spent some time together." She offered him a smile but Harry didn't stray far from her mind.

Severus eyed the teen critically, he looked disturbed – he resisted the urge to humor himself further with that thought – and pale. Moving across the room to where the boy was propped up he looked down at him, no expression, just looking. The longer he stood there the more Harry seemed to be struggling with something and he cocked his head gently with a light frown before he saw tears well in the corners of green eyes. He was desperately trying to concentrate on the book he was holding.

It was a strong sensation, Harry didn't know what was happening. He felt small, insignificant and pathetic. He was worthless in the face of everything to the point where he'd wished that he _had_ killed himself. It seemed everyone was thinking that's what he did and because he couldn't remember he just had to go with it.

But just as suddenly as it had come on, the dam burst and he felt his cheeks grow wet with tears. He didn't want to deal with the consequences of what might have happened, he just wanted everything to go away. Severus watched this happening but didn't do anything, it seemed that the teen was going through something so decided the best thing was to let him do it. Perhaps it was built up tension.

He saw the teen open his mouth a few times, he appeared to be trying to form a sentence but the words were clearly struggling to surface. Severus was aware that at any moment Poppy could come through and see him standing there. His track record was not in his favour so decided to stop the boy before he caused himself more pain.

Reaching out and placing a hand on the teens forehead, he pushed it down so he was supported by the pillows. Then, he went to sit on the edge of the bed, looking at Harry sternly.

"There is no need to panic." His voice was deep and soft, something that appeared to calm the boy briefly before ragged breathing was all he heard.

"Why?"

Severus wasn't sure what the boy meant by this and he frowned, shaking his head almost unnoticeably.

"Why, what, Potter? Single syllable questions and answers will not satisfy." He was going to get the boy speaking, when no one else could.

"What's h-happening?"

It was a start but Severus wasn't going to let him off lightly.

"I am going to tell you what happened in plain terms. Whether you remember them or not." He paused, waiting for the tell-tale signs of a nod, "Eleven days ago your mind took over any rationality. You self-imploded, turned your pain to the only thing you could. That was yourself. The potions you take are for blood replenishing, nutrition and pain. The Headmistress is waiting until you are more responsive to tell you all this."

Harry didn't respond, he was, for the most part, stunned at what was being said. No wonder his arms were all bandaged up, he obviously cut himself again but this time it was rather extensive. He had to know, he had to see what they looked like and in a fumbling attempt, he tried to start removing the white bandages off his left arm only to be stopped by a pair of warm hands.

"Yes, you will have scars. You aren't ready to see these yet, give them time to heal first." His voice was steady and straight to the point.

"Bad?" Harry's voice was haunted, quiet and hoarse.

"Yes." Severus could only be honest with him, he would find out eventually anyway.

"Severus, what in Merlin's name are you doing in here? I thought I told you to stay away?" Poppy had emerged but Severus didn't move, he was looking at the changing emotions on his Slytherins face.

"Are you deaf?" She came up to him and put her hands on her hips.

"I'll see myself out." Severus stood, the pain was evident on Harry's face.

"Good riddance." The Witch commented, she had come to ask if the boy was hungry.

Harry watched the man go, he didn't want him to, he wanted Professor Snape to stay and tell him more. There was still such a big part of his memory that he couldn't remember but seeing as the man had been honest he had no reason to doubt him.

"Mr. Potter," He was brought back to the Witch standing beside him and she looked sternly to him, "If he hurt you in anyway, I need to know."

He shook his head.

"Very well. Did you want something eat?"

At this he nodded, sinking under the covers suddenly feeling very cold and exposed. He wanted to know what was going to happen.


	14. Chapter 14

**.**

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **Thank you again your your amazing comments. Yeah, Ron isn't a general bad guy but like everyone he has flaws. Ha, I find he reminds me of an ex-boyfriend who was often clueless just like I see Ron. Also taking things for granted and not necessarily working for them once he has them.**_

 **#Delia Cerrano:**

 _ **Thanks for the feedback :D**_

 _ **I feel bad for Severus too and after re-watching the final Deathly Hallows film, I just get this gut wrenching sensation watching the memories he gave Harry (obviously I'm not basing my story on the films, it was just an observation). He never really gets a choice in things and I think it's safe to say he's had a pretty shitty life.**_

 **#Little Luna:**

 _ **Oh, don't you worry my lovely. There will be PLENTY of Severus/Harry interactions and moments in future chapters. Hang in there, I won't disappoint you :D**_

 **#Nixas:**

 ** _Oh my gosh, I'm so happy you're still with me. Your thoughts are a valuable asset to this story._**

 ** _You certainly won't be disappointed for what I have in mind with Harry and Severus having more time together. I've taken our conversation into account and I think I'm going to slip it into this story (you'll know what I'm talking about). It just feels right I think._**

 ** _Hmm, Dr. Fletcher... Yeah he's not my favourite character and oh yes, it just gets better with him soon [insert angel face]. I like to think that Minerva and Poppy are just doing their best to make sure he's safe but they are both quite strong and stern characters._**

 **. . .**

"Have you had a fight with, Draco?" Hemione asked, placing Harry's bag on the end of his bed.

Harry shook his head and frowned, Draco hadn't come to see him at all the entire time he'd been locked up and bed bound.

"Well, something must have happened because he didn't want to help me out at all. I almost had to beg him to get your bag from the dormitory." Miffed, she sat in the seat beside the bed and watched the emotions crossing his face and waited patiently.

"He hasn't… been here." Harry said slowly, speech was an issue for him, unsure why.

"I'm sorry for the other day with Ron. Professor McGonagall only wanted to keep us informed and I had no idea she hadn't told you yet. I'm rather disappointed in her really, I thought she was better than that."

"Snape." Harry said and shrugged, it was the only way he had known what medications he was on and in relative terms of what had transpired.

"Professor Snape?" She looked confused.

"Told me."

"Professor Snape told you what happened? When and why? It's not really his job." Hermione sat back and thought about this for a moment.

"He's… the only… one." Harry sighed and with difficulty he reached forward to get his bag.

"Well, I suppose he's never been one to beat around the bush with things. As long as he wasn't mean to you." Harry shook his head and her and managed a small smile.

It disappeared when he remembered the two words that stung him greatly – _I'm disappointed_ – It still sent a shiver down his spine and he winced.

"Mr. Potter, I have a treat for you this morning." Madame Pomfrey came into the room with a tray and placed in across his lap.

He took a deep breath, the scent of mouth watering pancakes hit him fiercely and his stomach growled in appreciation. This was usually something they served in the weekends, not the middle of the week so he wondered why the rules were being bent for him. Licking his lips, he thanked her quietly before picking up the cutlery. He had been making steady progress with his recovery and strength since he'd started eating but that didn't mean he was by any means strong. Even cutting the fluffy discs was difficult but Hermione was there to help him and he found that he suddenly didn't care.

"It's so good to see you eating properly." She mused, cutting the pancakes into bite sizes.

"Thank you." Harry had a sad smile on his face and it made the Witches heart pull.

"When you're back up and about, I want to help you. Please let me help you, Harry. Whether it be to talk, to study, to just be there. Would you let me? I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, it's not a feeling that I _ever_ want to feel again. Please don't put us through that again."

Harry gasped at her plea and he put his fork down gently; yes, he had disappointed a lot of people and let his friends down. Professor Snape had every right to say what he had. People had died _for_ him and now here he was sitting in a hospital bed because he couldn't cope with what was happening inside his head. The storm raged deep within, he could feel it building again, like a ram in the distance that ran straight for him. But not just one ram, a herd.

"Okay." Harry nodded, his appetite had disappeared with her admissions and he moved to push the plate away when she stopped him.

"Hey, you can't pass up pancakes." She smiled at him warmly.

"I can." He grumbled but she took the plate from him and looked over her shoulder.

"Waste not." She joked and he reached out to take the plate back pouting.

Hermione left for class not long after this and he sat in the Infirmary by himself for the remainder of the day. He flicked through his text books, almost dreading his return to classes. He had missed so much content and with less than two months until their mid-terms this wasn't the best situation for him to have gotten in to. He was reading his Potion's textbook in the afternoon when he found the Headmistress making her way towards him. As she came and stood next to him, Madame Pomfrey joined her and the two Witches looked at him solemnly.

"Good afternoon, Potter." Professor McGonagall addressed him and he gave her a wary glance.

"Headmistress." He acknowledged softly, letting Madame Pomfrey undress his right arm.

"Potter, I wondered if you were up to having a chat. Madame Pomfrey has approved your health is well enough but I would feel it only right if you were ready also."

The woman was stiff and strict like usual, but that didn't stop the bitterness that began to worm its way through him. He was at the centre of all this and yet, everyone else knew what was going on except him. It had been a blow for Hermione to have said Professor McGonagall had told them what happened and if he hadn't of had that stella conversation with his Head of House he may still not really know what occurred.

"It's fine." Harry replied and she nodded, moving to stand on his left.

"You must be eager to know what transpired the other week. It is my understanding that you are not aware of what happened?" Minerva tried her best to not look at the boy too harshly, but she couldn't shake the feeling that this could have been much worse.

"Professor Snape told me." He replied, he too struggled to remain impassive but he knew his voice failed to conceal the bitterness.

"He did, did he?" She looked at Madame Pomfrey who shared an irritated expression, her voice alone told him it was a touchy subject.

"I can't remember much." Harry went on to say, feeling as though he'd just landed his Head of House in hot water.

"That is to be expected." The Medi-Witch commented, placing his arm back on the bed carefully.

"What _can_ you remember, Potter?" The Headmistress asked eagerly.

"A dream… nightmare." He took a deep breath and dropped his shoulders, "Memories."

"The war?" Minerva prompted, seeing the teens eyes grow dark and saw the nod, "And you do not remember anything more? Your actions or where you went?"

Closing his eyes, he tried to think back, what had he been doing that night? _Hogsmede, it was the weekend, wasn't it?_ He could remember that, he shuddered thinking back to the awkward encounter as he backtracked with his friends. He couldn't bring himself to walk through the forest. Then there was a rock, he had tried avoiding the Headmistress… and Professor Snape. _Damn that man, sneaking up on me_. Harry's eyes snapped open, staring through the Headmistress and felt the blood drain from his face. He made the mistake of looking down at his right arm…

He was going to be sick.

Minerva saw the colour in his face change to a gentle shade of green and whipped out her wand, transfiguring a vase into something a little more appropriate. Making it just in time for Harry to lose the contents of his stomach, she shoved the bucket under his nose and looked away. Poppy was beside herself and rubbed his back before leaving to get some water. She had no reason to believe this was something related to his medications but did a check on him to make sure even as he continued to dry wretch into the pale.

"Dear me, Potter." She tutted and when he lifted his head, she could see tears in his eyes.

"Minerva, perhaps another time." She offered gently and there a small nod.

"We can try this again later, Potter."

Harry put his head back down and through the heaving, he sobbed into the bucket where no one could see his face. Tears tracked slowly down his cheek as he thought back to that weekend. But stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up to see Madame Pomfrey looking at him concerned.

"Are you finished?" She asked and a solemn nod later, he was laying back in bed with his face clean.

Staring at the ceiling, his stomach continued to churn. The forest – _Snape, it was always Snape –_ It was _always_ the forest. Tracking the day in his mind, he came to the part that he felt most satisfied with – _Hot chocolate?_ – Warmth spread through him just like it had that day. He wondered if his Head of House had one too or if it had been coffee. He seemed like a coffee man.

 _He seems a lot of things now._

Harry closed his eyes, softened features and concern was how he imagined Professor Snape's face, how it looked when it was just the two of them. And yet at the same time they were unyielding, like he could still snap at any moment. It certainly made Harry feel like he had to be on his toes. Sometimes he felt like he was being pushed away, and others brought closer. Closer to what he wasn't sure but as he lay there, drifting between consciousness and dreams, he wanted that closer.

 **. . .**

"What's going on?" Neville snuck up behind Luna and Hermione as hushed angry voices floated down the stairs in the main entrance.

"Professor Snape versus Professor McGonagall." Seamus clung to Ron in excitement, wanting to see what happened.

"Honestly, we shouldn't be li – "

"She'll win for sure." Ron cut Hermione off.

"What are they talking about?" Neville was still confused as he craned his neck.

"We don't know, but it's great entertainment." Seamus chuckled.

Hermione had a sneaking feeling she knew what they were talking about, she'd initially heard Harry's name being thrown about casually before the crowd had gathered. This wasn't really fair to anyone involved and she went to move forward, the Professor's clearly didn't realise they had an audience. She was about to walk forward when she caught sight of a blonde mop of hair as Draco pushed through everyone and walked towards the stairs. His face looked murderous.

"All right, break it up." Filch came down some other stairs with his broom and started to break the group up, catching Hermione's heels as he prodded them out of the way.

Various huffing and grumbles were heard as they all dispersed in different directions, but Hermione went and followed the Slytherin, not that she was noticed by a certain red head. She cautiously rounded the corner and found the Headmistress nowhere to be seen but Draco was standing with their Defence Professor and talking quietly. She didn't want to interrupt, she had no right to, so she headed in the direction of the library. She didn't even notice a pair of grey eyes watching her but the older Wizard did.

"When will he be released?" Draco asked his Head of House quietly.

"I would not know. Professor McGonagall has not informed us yet." Severus's voice was quiet but by no means soft.

"Can't you go and ask Madame Pomfrey yourself?" The blonde snapped.

"Why are you suddenly so concerned, Draco? This is the first time in three weeks you've expressed some form of _worry_." Severus resisted leaning against the wall as he probed.

"I don't care. He can stay there." Draco half sneered, shoving his hands into his pockets and walking off.

It was nearly three weeks since his Slytherin had been back in classes and Severus would freely admit that he was concerned. He made the decision that night to make the trek into the Hospital Wing where he hoped Poppy would not bother him. It had been a tense week, including the run in with Minerva about his meddling. Well, she wanted the boy to get better didn't she? Why was everyone still hung up on that one moment where he'd had a go at him? In hindsight, doing so in front of Poppy probably hadn't been the wisest thing to do but he was fed up.

Peering into the Infirmary, Harry appeared to be alone and the lights had been dimmed in preparation for sleep. The boy was tucked under the blankets and this time his whole body was. He had heard about Harry's reaction to seeing the cuts along his arms, Minerva had paled even retelling the situation. He could only imagine how they looked now.

Sweeping into the room silently, he saw that the boy was asleep and looked about the room wondering what he should do. He should have realised that at this hour he'd been out to it and his journey a waste of time. Noticing the teen had his bag beside his bed, his dark eyes were drawn to the wand sitting on the bedside table. _Oh yes,_ he thought, _I'll be having that_. Picking up the wand, he twirled it between his fingers and put it up to the light shining dimly through the doors.

"Sir?"

Harry's voice croaked in the dark room and Severus looked down on him, hoping he hadn't actually woken him. To silence any further questions, Severus put his index finger to his lips, indicating for his Slytherin to be quiet. With a faint nod, it was acknowledged.

Sitting in one fluid motion, Severus took the seat next to the bed. Leaning forward, with Harry's wand still in his hands, he whispered for Harry to show him his arm. Thankfully he was sitting on the teen's right, he didn't think he himself would be able to stomach seeing the angry branded left forearm again just yet.

Hesitantly, Harry complied and moved his arm from out under the covers. He had to look away, it wasn't something the boy wanted to look at and caused him immense emotional pain. Severus could see it perfectly clear in the dimly lit room, his Slytherin was conflicted and he wasn't surprised. The cuts were now the faintest pink colour and raised, in time the colour would disappear but the raised marks would continue.

"You will need to make peace with these." Severus's voice was soft this time but the teen wasn't looking at him; he bit his tongue when he was about to ask the boy to look at him.

"I don't know if I can." Harry whispered, his voice getting stuck in his throat.

"Dr. Fletcher will have a tough time then."

That caught Harry's attention and he turned his head around so they were looking at each other. Severus held himself in check, he wanted to take a closer look but to pick up his arm and do so would be seen as inappropriate. Especially in a room dimly light as this.

"I don't want to talk to him."

"Once you are out of the Infirmary, arrangements will be made." Severus said plainly.

"And I have no choice?" Harry sounded dejected.

"You made your choice, willingly or not." Severus replied, using Harry's wand to motion at the scarred arms.

They sat in silence for a moment, Severus could see that there was something on the teen's mind. Taking in the silence, he went back to inspecting his Slytherin's wand. Dark wood, polished. However, he could see the marks and indentations from heavy use. Another reminder for the teen that his wand had been rigorously used.

"Am I in trouble, sir?" Harry broke the silence, he was now sitting propped against the pillows and both arms now uncovered.

Severus's eyes instantly went to the forearm but there were still heavy bandaging covering the worst of his cuts. His heart had skipped a beat but now slowed as he calmed addressed the teen.

"What makes you say that, Potter?" He asked, curious as to how he came to this assumption.

"The Headmistress… She isn't happy."

"She has a duty to her school. I would not take it personally should you bare the brunt of her frustrations." Severus explained, he wasn't a kind man himself, but he knew the Headmistress had her strict tendencies; something the boy should have remembered after seven years.

"It's not nice."

And there it was, Severus could see it plain as day. Harry was scared, vulnerable, isolated. His friends swarmed around him and yet he would feel the most lonely in a crowded room. He knew that feeling well, living constantly in that state he had grown some immunity to it but there were moments where he would have appreciated the sentiments of another.

"Show her you are strong enough to overcome this. Get help, Potter. Let someone support you."

"I'm not even sure I know how anymore."

"You'll think of something. That blasted Gryffindor bravery and stubbornness is buried inside you somewhere." Severus mused, maintaining his low voice as to not rouse the Matron.

"Should I not be embracing my cunning ambition?" It slipped off Harry's tongue before he could stop himself, then proceeded to freeze in shock when he saw a smile in his Professor's face.

"Indeed."

It was time for Severus to leave, he had spent more time than he intended and the risk of getting caught was looming ever closer. He was only two steps away when he heard Harry's whispered voice and holding the wand to his face he glanced over at the boy who was frowning.

"I'll be keeping this for now."

Leaving a gaping Harry Potter, he slipped out of the Infirmary and hightailed it back to the safety of his office. Satisfied that he had procured the one thing that aided so much destruction. The rational side of his brain was telling him it had been the wrong thing to do whereas the realistic part nodded their approval. He let out a curt snort when he noticed a collection of Harry's possessions growing in his office.

 **. . .**

Friday afternoon and Harry was sitting up in bed, reading his Defence textbook as Hermione sat beside him working through homework. He enjoyed her presence, his isolation was beginning to get lonely and he began anticipating her visits. Quite frankly, it was the only thing keeping him sane as the week stretched on.

"I wonder what Professor Snape has planned for your paired assignment." Hermione mused, drawing her legs up and sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"There's eleven of us, I would assume I'm doing it by myself." Harry replied, flicking through to the next chapter.

"You should join Draco and I, we've almost finished but I'm sure there's something you could do."

"Draco? You're paired with Draco Malfoy?" Harry's surprise was evident and Hermione smiled weakly.

"Y-Yeah, unfortunate assigning I know." She lied and went back to her parchment.

Shaking his head, he remembered that their Professor hadn't changed at all. However, his thoughts were interrupted when Madame Pomfrey came into the room with his school robes freshly washed and pressed. His heart jumped into his throat and he tensed realising that he was being discharged. Back to reality. Back to his classes.

"Oh, hello Miss. Granger; how opportune your presence is. Mr. Potter, after speaking with the Headmistress, she is eager to get you back into a routine and with your friends. I see no issues with letting you go this afternoon."

"W-What?" Harry dropped his book and looked anxiously towards Hermione.

"That's wonderful, Harry. Come on, get dressed. By the time we get you back into your dormitory it'll be time for dinner."

He wasn't so sure about this, he still felt very weak and he hadn't really been up and about walking. The standard bathroom breaks aside, that didn't count for walking around the school as well as going up and down endless stairs.

"Do you not want to go, Potter?" Madame Pomfrey brought him back from the musings and he worried his bottom lip, he didn't really have a choice did he.

"Harry?" Hermione asked softly, putting her hand on his knee.

"It's fine." He managed a weak smile and the Matron walked off, pulling the curtains around his area for some privacy.

Hermione jumped up off the bed and started putting her things away before moving on to Harry's books and packed his bag. Then she stood awkwardly at the side of the bed, glancing between him and his uniform.

"The last thing I want to do is sound insensitive, Harry." She picked up his Slytherin robe and folded it over her arm, "But would you like some help?" She looked at him nervously.

Sighing, Harry moved himself so he was in a sitting position on the edge of the cot and placed his bare feet on the cold stone floor. He was able to prop himself up so he could stand but stumbled forward; Hermione caught him quickly and smiled righting him before stepping back. Putting his cloak down she moved away from him and went around the curtain, giving him some privacy after she got the feeling he felt uncomfortable.

After a few minutes, she heard her name and peered around the corner to find Harry struggling with his tie and smiled warmly at him before helping with it. Once he was done, she looked at him properly and hummed to herself at his state. Whilst his uniform looked immaculate, his face looked awful, drained and sickly. He had no colour and his bangs were growing far too long for his face. She ran her fingers through his fringe, trying to pull it to some order with no avail.

"Are you ready? We'll take it slowly." She said softly and he nodded.

Madame Pomfrey caught them before they left however and both students went into her office.

"Now, you know we have been weaning you off the pain medication and you no longer need blood replenishing, however I still want you to be taking these nutrition medications for the next week. I'm sure, Miss. Granger would agree that you are looking very malnourished."

He blushed at this and put his hands into his pockets.

"Get some meat on that frame of yours, Mr. Potter. You will certainly see your strength grow when you do." She finished and passed him five vials of the nutrition potions he was to be taking.

Hermione took them and placed them in his bag that she was holding before leading her friend away. By this stage it was dinner time and Hermione didn't want to waste any time, she knew he still didn't eat a lot and wanted to make sure he had as much time as possible to eat.

"I don't know if I can do this." He said as they reached the main entrance, he could hear the chatter from inside the hall and felt his stomach twist.

"Come on, Harry. We'll slip in the back, no one will even know. Come on." She encouraged and he hesitantly followed her.

He had been the talk of the school for those three weeks of being absent from classes, so naturally, when one person saw him standing in the doorway, within seconds the whole school knew he was there and the noise level dropped for a moment as people looked at him. He immediately wanted to shrink, or at least hide behind Hermione. Why couldn't he have been let out of the Infirmary tomorrow when people would dribble in and out of the Great Hall. It was embarrassing.

"Shit." Draco growled, standing suddenly when he saw Harry.

Hermione was muttering something to the brunette when an angry Draco Malfoy stormed up to him and with one swift move, his fist connected with Harry's jaw. Losing his balance, Hermione was able to hold him up at the sacrifice of both their bags and shrieked at the blonde for what he'd done.

" _That's_ for hexing me!" His face twisted in anger and he sneered down at Harry who was holding his face.

"Draco!" Hermione warned, trying to navigate her hand towards her wand as she held Harry.

"I deserved that." Harry said, finally standing up straight, his lip was split and pulled when he gave the blonde a lopsided smile but he didn't mind.

"What?" Hermione breathed confused.

"Yes, you did. Now are you going to eat or continue to stand here?" Draco pointed down the Slytherin table where he had been sitting alone and Harry went to move forward.

Severus gripped onto his cutlery in an attempt to remain calm. He couldn't blame Draco for his actions and it made sense now why he didn't go and see the teen. He had been angry and understandably so. He had to placate the Headmistress who was about to rise and yell across the room and had stopped her.

"I don't care for how you treat your students, Severus." Minerva said finally with a sigh, pushing her plate away.

"I know them better than anyone." Severus sniffed, not taking his eyes of Harry.

"That boy better be sitting in detention this week, I won't have you bending the rules for them just because they are Slytherin, _or family_." She chided and looked at her colleague.

"What are you insinuating, Minerva?"

"Oh, I think you know, Severus." She snapped but immediately softened, she wasn't in the mood for another argument with the man.

Huffing, Severus sipped his wine, his eyes never straying from Harry and the boy could feel it. Subtle glances, that was all it took for the man to know his Slytherin was aware. His expression remained impassive for now as he watched the teen taking small bites thanks to his Ravenclaw friend. Harry had a lot to catch up on and he was going to make sure, if anything, Defence was top of his priority.

"I wish he'd stop staring." Harry muttered, looking at Draco.

"Do you blame him?" The blonde responded, he didn't even have to turn around to know that their Head of House was watching all three of them.

"Who are you talking about?" Hermione whispered, but she didn't get an answer from either of them.

When Harry finally made it back to the Slytherin common room, he felt onto his bed fully clothed and huddled under the covers. He wanted to hide from everything and everyone. He didn't even want to comprehend how much work he needed to catch up on, they covered a lot of content in three weeks and it wasn't going to be easy.

So, when he woke in the morning, feeling groggy, he dragged on some clothes before going to the hall for some breakfast. There were a couple of Professor's up at the head table so he thought he'd better get a start on catching up. He approached Professor Flitwick who was surprised to see him and with little explaining they slowly toddled off to his Charms classroom where they both took a seat.

A whole morning and part of the afternoon later, Harry had all but one class to deal with and he was exhausted. He'd left the worst for last, Defence. Professor Snape hadn't been at meals so he couldn't ask the man then and he didn't particularly want to find him. He knew there was every chance he'd be kicked out of the room or he might not even be in his office at all.

He was almost asleep in his plate that night at dinner and Draco nudged him to make sure he didn't faceplant into the mash potato.

"Go to bed." The blonde sniffed when he had to nudge him again and Harry nodded.

"So tired."

"You look wrecked. Go." Draco agreed and pushed him away.

"Okay, okay." Harry grumbled, rubbing his eyes and covering a yawn.

He wasn't sure how he'd go with classes this week, if he was this tired already how was he going to concentrate on catching up? By the time he made it into the common room he started to panic, what if he couldn't catch up? What if he was going to flunk his mid terms all because he couldn't control his nightmares. The war was still messing with him, even now. It had to stop. However, the only thing that stopped tonight was his legs as he dragged off his clothes and slipped between the sheets.

 **. . .**

After sleeping the remainder of his weekend away, by Tuesday, Harry was dead on his feet. Dragging them towards his Defence class, he almost walked into the doorway, misjudging it completely but recovered in time to see his Professor watching like a hawk. Grumbling, he went to sit up the back and slumped into his chair. He still hadn't approached Professor Snape about the work he needed to catch up on, he honestly thought he'd be fine anyway, Defence was always his strongest subject and it helped that they had a decent teacher.

Harry didn't even register anything that went on in class, he had fallen asleep within the first fifteen minutes as tiredness and exhaustion over took him. It wasn't until he was shaken gently that he opened his eyes and rubbed them, groaning lightly in the silent room. Dread filled him instantly when he realised no one else was there and his head shot up only to find Hermione standing in front of him, Ron behind her.

"Professor Snape needs to speak to you." She whispered, blocking his view at the front of class, "He doesn't look angry." She added and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Uh, thanks." He replied and picked his bag up, putting his book away.

"I'm going to be in the library, usual place when you're done here. I was serious about my offer." She commented, then pulled Ron from the room.

With his view of classroom now unobstructed, he saw his Head of House standing at the front of the room moving about as if he weren't even there. Frowning and growing with nervousness, Harry squared his shoulders and made the way up to the front. His Professor finally looked up at him when he stood a meter away from the man's desk and he was regarded coolly, without a sneer. He felt terrible for falling asleep but there wasn't anything he could have done about it, his eyes wouldn't have stayed open at all.

"Your assignment." Severus indicated several pieces of parchment that were all rolled together at the edge of his desk and Harry reached out to read them.

"You will be working on your own for this, Potter." He continued, not stopping with what he was filing away.

"Is the – Was there anything else I need to catch up on, sir?" Harry asked, not understanding how the man could be so calm.

"Luckily for you, this assignment was handed out right after your… _accident_. I have noted the relevant chapters on each page and extra reading beyond your textbook will be required."

"Oh." Harry couldn't hide his surprise, the man was being very generous.

"Potter, how worn down do you feel?" Another surprising moment for Harry and he blinked for a moment before answering.

"I'm sorry for falling asleep, sir. It won't happen again, I'll stay focussed."

"That's not what I asked you, Potter." Severus made eye contact and his gaze penetrated the boy fiercely.

"I could lay down right now and sleep another twelve hours." He sighed and let his shoulders sag.

"Thought as much." Severus replied and motioned for the teen to follow him to his office.

Rummaging around in a case, he found some Pepper Up potion he had lying about. He noticed the frown his student had but didn't comment as he handed the boy a vial.

"This will help you get through tomorrow. Take it at lunch and you'll be fine until after dinner."

Harry inspected it, the colour and texture looked familiar and then he clicked to what it was. It was essentially the Muggle version of a caffeine shot and he gave the man a grateful expression. It didn't particularly help him right now but certainly he would be able to make some progress over the week with it.

"Thank you, sir."

"You have a long road ahead of you, Mr. Potter. If you need more, you know where I am."

The kindness that his Professor was extending almost knocked him back, how was he supposed to accept an offer like this? Sure this meant that he was going to want something in return. That was how Slytherin's worked, they didn't do anything unless it was of benefit to them so what was it that he was expected to give? It must have shown on his face that there was doubt because the man folded his arms, eyes gazing at him critically.

"What do you want in return, sir?"

"You're a quick learner, Potter." Severus smirked but it came out as more of a sneer before he went behind his desk and sat down.

Harry saw his belongings, he wanted his wand back. It felt rather odd, naked even, without it.

"I expect you to catch up on your work. I will not stand idly by whilst you become buried with the stress of studying for mid-terms. What I ask for in return is that you absorb yourself into becoming a better Wizard."

"And a Pepper Up potion is the least you could do, right?" Harry replied, without filter and he regretted it instantly.

"Mr. Potter, your best interests are what I am paid to oversee like the rest of the students in this school. Just because you happen to be in my house, doesn't mean you get special treatment – but your recent actions do."

Whatever the man said, Harry didn't quite understand and he narrowed his heavy eye lids. He was fading, and fast.

"I will be watching you. Monitoring your movements. Catching before you implode." At this he stood and walked around his desk to loom over his student, "Because – it's – my – job."

Harry swallowed and felt very small. He nodded nonetheless and took a step back from the man before he was dismissed. Severus sneered at the back of Harry as he retreated, trust him to take his offer like a typical Gryffindor. _If he wants to fall asleep, he can do it on his own time_ , he thought bitterly. Yes, he was selfish, _selfish_ for wanting the teen to excel and move forward from his issues.

 **. . .**

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 **It's always welcomed.**


	15. Chapter 15

**.**

 **Many apologies for the delay in updating... It's been a hectic week and I didn't get a chance to get onto my computer.**

 **Enjoy.**

 **. . .**

Harry was on a roll with study when an owl swooped down and deposited a small rolled note on his book. Opening it, he saw it was a summons from the Headmistress and he crushed it in his hand. Hermione looked up from her own book at this and asked him what was wrong but he only muttered – _Headmistress_ – before packing his things and leaving the Great Hall. The Pepper Up potions that his Head of House had been giving him were working wonderfully, he'd had two so far and found that they lasted him till late in the night. Sure, he knew from theory that he shouldn't be abusing his body but as he studied he was able to escape the pain he felt inside. It kept him from thinking about his scars, about people and about life. It was theory and knowledge.

Knocking softly on Professor McGonagall's wooden door, it swung open and he walked inside only to come face to face with his therapist, Dr. Fletcher. His body froze and stomach knotted tightly as he looked over the immaculate man, his brunette hair brushed back and styled. Harry wanted to back out of the room and run away but he knew the Headmistress would not allow it, so swallowing the lump in his throat he walked forward. His heart drummed away in his chest and he was greeted warmly by both adults.

"Harry Potter." Dr. Fletcher came down the three steps and took his hand warmly but it just made Harry's skin crawl.

"Thank you for being prompt, Potter." Minerva stood and brought them both over to the desk, "I'm sure you now know why you are here." She continued and Harry nodded with distaste.

"I was horrified to hear what happened, but let me tell you that we will get to the bottom of all this." His tone suggested that it was all for show and Harry bristled.

"Wonderful." Harry replied sarcastically but he earned a dark scowl from his Headmistress.

"Mr. Potter, in light of recent actions I have brought Dr. Fletcher here for you to get help. I understand that you are in the process of catching up with your school work and therefore we have decided that meeting once a week will be sufficient for now."

"I am very much looking forward to hearing about your school so far." Dr. Fletcher chirped from beside him.

"Glad one of us is." Harry muttered under his breath.

"Shall we?" Fletcher went to pick up his briefcase and Harry turned to his Headmistress in confusion, they weren't doing it in her office?

"You won't be leaving the grounds, Potter. I suggest you find somewhere comfortable." She explained and he nodded mutely.

Harry thought for a moment and then had an idea, there were always classrooms and other rooms that we often left unused but they were dusty and unkept. The Great Hall was out of the question as there were plenty of people in there and he thought maybe the Hospital Wing would provide some privacy. He trusted Madame Pomfrey but then inspiration hit him, _the Room of Requirement_ , it was perfect.

"How much further, Harry? This is surely a long way up." Dr. Fletcher was almost out of breath once they reached the right floor and Harry smirked.

"Nearly there."

Opening the doors slowly, he was greeted by a very cosy setting. Two armchairs, a coffee table and a nicely lit fire to create a relaxing atmosphere. It seemed the man was in awe when they walked into the room as he nodded slowly in appreciation. Harry relaxed into this setting easily, he hadn't been here for about a month and it was good to finally relieve some of his stress. Ultimately, he knew it would return, they were about to delve into things that he didn't want to chat about.

"So, Harry," They both sat in opposite wingbacks armchairs and the man crossed his legs, leaning to the side, "What's been going on?"

Harry gave him an unamused expression, he was still the same arrogant suit that he'd been dealing with earlier in the year and it didn't fill him with hope that he would finally find a cure for his emotional rut. Still, if he was to get the Headmistress and Head of House off his back then he needed to take these sessions seriously.

"Hard, but then again you know that. It hasn't been easy to transition back into learning."

"I can only imagine what that must feel like, why don't you explain it further for me." Fletcher's blue eyes sparkled in the light and Harry felt a shiver run down his spine.

"I find it hard to concentrate mostly. Well, that was before all _this_." He motioned with his arms to indicate his accident.

"And now?"

"I'm trying to catch up with all the work I missed. I guess it's keeping my mind occupied for now." He admitted.

"Something that you tend to do a lot, isn't that right?"

"Evidently." Harry sounded dejected.

"What happened, Harry? What happened three weeks ago? What tipped you over the edge?" Fletcher relaxed into his chair and waited expectantly for an answer.

"I don't really remember much…" Harry trailed off when he recalled the time he'd had with his Head of House, the hot chocolate and the chat. "I was supposed to be walking to Hogsmede with my friends but, as you'll remember, I couldn't face going through the forest. I guess it must have been on my mind and I sat on the edge of the forest alone for the afternoon thinking about things." He finished there, not wanting to put Professor Snape in the firing line once again.

"I woke up nearly two weeks later with, uh – these." He referred to his scars again and felt the bite of bile rising from his stomach.

"That is a long time in between for you not to remember. It is quite possible that your desire to block things away has overridden any attempts to recall what happened. Can you think back to any dreams you had? Anything that might hint to what might have caused this?"

Harry thought about this but he couldn't remember details, it was more a feeling. Helplessness and pain.

"It's all really blurry." Harry replied, pulling on his sleeves self-consciously.

"So, it comes back to the forest, doesn't it? That's where you were found and I can see how it mirrors your prior experience at the hands of the Dark Lord."

"I – " Harry stopped and Professor Snape's face came into view, with it his heart increased as he looked at the empty eyes.

"Yes?"

"I don't know." Harry lied again, he remembered dreaming of his Professor from that night but not the context, there was certainly anger though.

"Hmm," Dr. Fletcher scratched his chin in thought, Harry was being vague once more, "How are things in Slytherin?"

"They're fine. This wasn't something any of us thought would happen, a resorting that is. I think I've grown used to the emerald shades that surround me in there but when I wake from a nightmare or dream it still takes me a while to settle."

"Of course. And the nightmares? What are they?"

"Haven't changed." Harry shifted in his seat, feeling uncomfortable about his dreams with Draco and Professor Snape, they seemed more recurring than Voldemort these days.

"Are you sure?" The man wasn't convinced.

"Of course I'm sure." Harry snapped in defence.

"I see." The man grew smug and Harry narrowed his eyes before looking into the fire, wishing the flames would engulf him.

They sat in a comfortable silence after this but Harry was getting frustrated that he was here and not studying. They were wasting, what he believed, precious learning time and his agitation was picked up by the older Wizard who observed him carefully.

"Harry, what is on your mind?"

He left the question open and remained seated, perfectly still and watching. Harry was remembering things, thinking about situations or people, his mind was running fast but his body relatively calm. The odd twitch here and shift in chair there, the only signs he could tell of his restlessness came in the form of his breathing.

"I really need to study." Harry finally said and turned his head to look at the man.

"Well, why don't we leave it here for today and next week we can examine the forest some more. I know you're holding back on me, and you also know how much I will push until we get there."

Harry, indeed did, remember how much he pushed but it wouldn't do him any good. The last time he retaliated it had reminded him of Occlumency lessons with Professor Snape and he'd left the therapy session having broken the man's nose by accident from a wayward spell. His Head of House had possession of his wand, so unless a burst of unchained magic erupted from him, the man was safe. Perhaps that's why he brought it up, somehow he knew that he didn't have his wand.

Severus was walking into the Great Hall when he saw Harry being accompanied by the arrogant psychiatrist and sneered, feeling something territorial from within. The teen looked distracted and downright miserable but Fletcher looked as though he'd eaten a canary. It didn't settle well with him but there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"I will see you next week." Dr. Fletcher extended his hand which Harry took out of respect.

Harry joined Hermione again in the Great Hall and sat down with sagged shoulders, he suddenly didn't feel very studious and wondered why he'd even come back into the hall to begin with. A billowing black cloak caught his attention and he looked up to see his Head of House striding past them, his head turned towards him. Catching his breath for a moment, Harry glanced back down at the wooden table and got his things out again. Least he waste the gift of energy that the man had given him.

 **. . .**

"I thought we could look at Transfiguration after dinner." Hermione declared as they sat down.

"What about Ron?"

"What about him?" She countered, frowning and looking down the Gryffindor table at the red head.

"You've spent more time with me than you have with him in the past week. I'm worried about you both." Harry explained.

"Oh, you don't need to be concerned with that." She smiled and dug into some food.

Harry looked at her oddly but he didn't push it, instead he looked down the Gryffindor table also and found the red head sitting amongst a ruckus. He didn't even seem to be concerned that Hermione wasn't sitting there with him. _Transfiguration?_ Harry finally caught up to what the Witch had said and he groaned, giving a passing glance to Professor Snape who was very close to them both.

"Something wrong?" She noticed the change in him immediately.

"Can we work on something else? Like Potions perhaps?"

"Oh, Harry you _know_ we can't do that. How about Charms?" She offered but he shook his head.

"I can't." He muttered and stabbed at his boiled potatoes, feeling backed into a corner.

"What do you mean? You're a natural at it and – "

"I don't have a _wand_!" He hissed loudly, and the students sitting by them turned at the raised voice.

Severus wanted to sink into his chair and pinch the bridge of his nose, he could immediately feel a heated glance from beside him but refused to acknowledge it.

"What? Did you lose it?" She tilted her head and appeared perplexed.

"It was confiscated."

"Harry, a Professor _cannot_ confiscate a wand. That's totally barbaric." Hermione continued in outrage.

"Stay out of this, Minerva." Severus muttered when he felt the oncoming comment, "Insufferable Gryffindor's." He continued, but his voice was only but a whisper.

Harry turned and looked at his Head of House, he couldn't stop himself even though Hermione would have known straight away and connected the dots. He _did_ need his wand but there was doubt over whether he would get it back. His eyes connected with the Headmistress for only a moment and he could tell she looked livid. Everything was spiralling out of control and it wasn't anything that he had any say over. His anxiety was rising, stomach churning, chest heaving and head swimming. _Damn, Fletcher for bringing the pain back._

" _Gah_." He growled, swiping his arm at a goblet, letting it fly off the table.

" _Harry!_ " Hermione gasped, watching him.

He had to get out of there, hide from the prying eyes and interested gazes. He needed to find shelter and serenity before he did something stupid. With that, he stood and all but ran from the hall, leaving a confused Ravenclaw, disgruntled Headmistress and irritated Slytherin Head of House.

"Severus?" Minerva placed her hands neatly across her abdomen, elbows resting on the arms of her chair as she chided the man beside her.

"I'll let you think this through, Minerva. Where do you think he's going? And if not where you think, _what_ do you think he'd do if he had his wand, hmm?"

Severus was finishing up his meal, not hearing a peep from the Witch sitting next to him. He knew that if that boy had his wand he would immediately go and find some place to hurt himself. It was never going to be a question of if, it was _when_ and Severus firmly believed he was doing everyone a favour.

"You should have informed me, Severus." Was all he got in response and that was enough for him to know he was right.

Heading back to his office after dinner, he was surprised to see the huddled form of a Slytherin student sitting outside his classroom door. He didn't need to walk any further to know who it was. Sure enough, Harry glanced up when he heard the footsteps and then proceeded to stand, brushing off his pants.

"Potter? What's this?" He asked, unlocking his classroom door with a flick of his wand.

Harry wasn't really sure. When he'd left the hall this was the first place he'd thought to come, not even the Room of Requirement came to mind but now that the sour man was standing in front of him he wondered if he should have just gone there instead.

"I'm not sure." He admitted and took a step back, the intention to walk away, "I'll go."

"Come in." Severus replied, moving forward and through to his office.

Hesitating, Harry followed him and stood on the threshold of the office, not sure whether he wanted to be trapped in there. The man gave him a scrutinising glare which made Harry move forward. He watched as his Professor picked up his wand and turned to face him from behind the desk, he was toying with it again and Harry found it mesmerising watching the slender fingers twirl it.

"Do you know why I took this from you, Potter?"

 _Cause you're a bastard?_ Harry thought, but knew that wasn't entirely true. He shook his head in response to the question.

"You are still too volatile. Where do you think we would find you tomorrow morning, hmm? Bleeding out in the grass? Or dead perhaps?"

"That's not fair." Harry whispered, feeling suddenly very nauseous.

" _Life_ isn't fair, Potter. I believe you and I have already had that conversation in previous years." Severus snapped, coming around his desk and advancing on the boy.

"I took possession of your wand because you are _scared_. You are too afraid to face the consequences of what you have done."

Harry couldn't deny everything the man was saying. He _was_ scared, he wanted to bury all of this and vehemently he wished it had never happened. He couldn't look at himself, not even in the mirror because all he saw looking back was an ugly lie. Everyone was right, his therapist, his friends and his Professor. They all knew him.

" _However_ , I am aware that you still need to practice for your examinations. Therefore, I have a proposition. You have no other option, take it or leave it." Severus stood up straight, holding the handle of Harry's wand protectively and using it to accent his points.

"What's that?" Harry's voice was hollow and quiet.

"When you require practice, you will come and see me. I will oversee your study in the classroom." He pointed out the door. "Bring Miss. Granger or Mr. Malfoy if you have to, but you do not get possession back until the end of term."

Harry considered it and whilst not ideal he nodded in agreement with the proposal. He couldn't believe his Professor was doing this but at the same time, he felt something odd about it all. It wasn't an entirely unpleasant feeling but it was certainly confusing. There was no malice, or sneer when he spoke. It was genuine help. It made him feel… cared for; filling him with some hope. This wasn't a feeling he got from his therapy sessions, it was purely whenever he was interacting with his Head of House. It caused a surge of energy and emotion that he wasn't able to identify but with that feeling he rushed forward suddenly and wrapped his arms around the slim waist.

Severus held out his arms, mostly out of surprise to the action with his feet rooted to the stone he was standing on. Harry Potter was hugging him, what astonished him was that the teen had every right to hate him, mock him with gross distain for what had happened and yet, here he was clinging to him desperately.

" _Potter!_ " He growled, not wanting to touch the boy.

With wide eyes, Harry realised what he'd done and took a large step back, his face flaming bright red as he stuttered out what was supposed to be some form of apology. They were both too shocked to act and stared at each other for a moment before Harry hightailed it from the room. _Merlin, fuck_ , he swore as he left the classroom. With the common room in mind, he ran all the way to the Dungeons and hid in the dormitory, dragging breath into his lungs.

He couldn't believe he'd just done that, but as he calmed down and sat on the edge of the bed he realised worst of all, that he'd do it again.

 **. . .**

"Whoa, what happened to _you_?" Draco asked, seeing Harry's red rimmed puffy eyes.

"Rough night." Harry replied, pushing the eggs around his plate.

"Is it to do with last night?" The blonde probed.

"Sort of. Professor Snape has my wand. He doesn't trust me." Harry said, half-truth but it was enough to keep the Slytherin happy.

"I'm not surprised." Draco commented, reading the front page of the paper.

"Yeah." Harry dejectedly glanced up at the head table and felt heat rising to his cheeks when he laid eyes on his Defence Professor.

 _Fuck_ , he thought, looking away and hiding his face. _Why, why him?_ He continued to rage in his head. _He's only concerned because he's worried you'll blow up the school or yourself_ , he tried reasoning the actions but he wasn't doing a very good job of it. _He's risking a lot_ , taking a wand from a student… Even the Headmistress hadn't looked happy by it. Perhaps she hadn't known about it. It was all so confusing.

When it was lunch, Harry tossed up what he should do and if he could handle seeing his Professor alone. Physically he was still feeling weak and it was fear of falling asleep in class that had him dragging his feet towards the Defence classroom when he should have been eating in the Great Hall. However he stopped short of the wooden door and stared at the shelfing that was just in inside the classroom. He couldn't do this, he couldn't face the man alone; and what if he didn't want to see him?

"Are you going to continue standing there?"

Harry jumped at the voice that came from behind him and he swallowed when the man brushed past him. Figuring he couldn't just stand there like an idiot he put on a brave face and walked into the classroom. As soon as he walked into his office, a vial was pushed into his hands and he took a step back at the force.

"Sir, I – "

"Get out." Harry's eyes widened when he saw the door coming towards him and he jumped back just in time before it slammed shut, shuddering the stone wall with its energy.

Feeling put out by the abrupt treatment, Harry moved away and went to his afternoon class. He didn't end up taking the Pepper Up potion today and wondered how he would do going without it. Arithmancy was able to hold his attention for most of the period but he felt the tiredness overcoming his ability to keep his heavy eyes open.

Instead of his Arithmancy classroom, he appeared in a field with a warm summers breeze whistling lazily around him. It ruffled his hair and created a light weight around him. The sun was out and he felt incredibly relaxed. Taking a deep breath he let himself breath in the fresh summers air and closing his eyes he fell backways into the soft tufts of green grass.

Around him he heard childish laughter, it was light and happy, much like his mood right now. He hadn't felt happy like this in years. He longed for this again.

The laughter was beside him now, singularly. Whilst at first, Harry had been given a fright he opened his eyes and with a lazy smile turned to look at whoever was beside him. Wide black eyes gazed at him and shoulder length hair was fanned out beneath the boy. But this wasn't any boy, this was Severus Snape. He gasped and heard his own young voice escape, it was then that he realised they were the same age and both wore clothing showing their poverty.

Harry felt his heavy eyes fall and even with the summer wind brushing his skin softly, his eyes grew heavy and couldn't hold them open. The higher pitched laughter echoed in his mind once more before he was aware that a deeper voice was saying his name. Grumbling at the interruption he was suddenly aware that he wasn't in a lush green field but in a dark classroom with people who all appeared to be looking at him. It was Draco that had been saying his name and the teen frowned at him.

One detention later and wounded pride, Harry snuck out of the class once it was over with his tail between his legs and pushed his way through the crowds of people. He could hear laughter behind him and he knew exactly who it was based on the awful Irish twang that rung through it but he tried to escape away.

"What's the matter, Potter? Who's name were you moaning?" Seamus roared down the corridor and Harry felt his face flame wildly.

"Ron, do something." Hermione hissed, holding Ron back so he wasn't with the group tormenting their friend.

"It'll go away." Ron responded but Hermione wasn't impressed.

Draco walked slowly behind everyone, watching closely. He couldn't see his Slytherin friend any longer, he had disappeared around the corner by now and he didn't blame him. It must have been hard to deal with the betrayal from old housemates, they weren't very forgiving and Draco was left wondering if this was how he'd made Harry feel over the years. Maybe it was because he was wiser and more mature, but he couldn't stand this type of behaviour. There was no taste or style. How could they torment a fellow war survivor? They had no idea what Harry had been through.

It was enough to make him snap, the fire had been lit beneath the blonde and pulled his wand only to find Hermione blocking his way. She smiled warily at him and was trying to speak but he wasn't paying attention and tried to get past her to the Gryffindor's.

"Out of my way, Granger." He finally said but the firm grip around his wrist stopped him.

"Don't lower yourself to their level." Was all she said and then showed him the cover of her Defence book, "We need to work on this." She continued and broke his frustrations.

Harry skidded into the dormitory and stripped down before getting into bed. As soon as his head was buried beneath the covers, he let tears stream down his face. He knew it was because he was tired, that the scathing words called out down the corridor were meaningless but it made him question what he'd said in class – rock and a hard place – that was how this felt.

A dream about his Professor… Well that was nothing new but the contents were. His heart had always gone out to that younger Severus Snape. Actually, they seemed eerily similar now when Harry thought about his own expression in the mirror. Their faces sallow with dark circles, hair longer than it should be and lanky forms. Innocence and youth. His body tingled still with the dream.

He stayed put until he had to report for detention. Walking hesitantly into his Defence classroom he was surprised to find Draco sitting in the front row, scribbling on a piece of parchment. There were two other lower years also but he went up to his Professor and himself shrivel up at the glare he received.

"Potter. Why am I not surprised?" Venom dripped off his tongue like the acid infused man was renowned for, "Sit away from, Malfoy. This is not a holiday."

"Yes, sir." Harry sighed and went to sit up the back, a piece of parchment beat him to his seat and he read the lines he was supposed to be writing.

 _Wonderful_ , he thought and slouched in his chair.

 **. . .**

Friday night, Halloween, and Harry was sitting slouched on the couch. Things hadn't gotten much better for him over the week, if anything they'd gotten worse and he was feeling miserable. It was the Halloween ball, classes had even been cancelled after lunch to allow for the staff and students to get prepared for the event. Harry had decided he wasn't going. Not only was he not interested but he had nothing to wear.

"Why aren't you dressed yet? Dinner starts soon." Draco said, coming to stand in front of the fire.

"Not going." Harry replied, staring ahead at the wall.

"Suit yourself." The blonde huffed, stepping away hesitantly, sliding hands into his pockets and walking out with Blaise.

He and Blaise were half way to the Great Hall when the other Slytherin asked what was wrong with their roommate. Draco had suspected something had happened between their Head of House and the _golden_ boy – come Slytherin – earlier in the week due to the drastic changes in both individuals. He'd only be speculating however so he didn't give his house mate an answer. Instead, he remained quiet and introverted; if things went slowly this evening he knew that he could go back to the common room and have some company.

When they arrived, the hall was decorated with elaborate orange and black decorations. The enchanted ceiling showed off a clear nights sky with a large white moon. He ducked suddenly when a bat swooped down low, narrowly missing his head then proceeded to where the rest of Slytherin were congregating.

The hall seemed to have doubled in size, all four tables lined the edges and made way for a decently sized dancing area. Each staff member that Draco could see where wearing something different to their normal teaching robes, except the Slytherin Head of House. He looked just the same. _Typical_ , Draco sniffed and made eye contact with the man. There was confusion that briefly passed over the older Wizard's face as he looked either side of the blonde, and he knew that their Professor was looking for Harry.

A blonde eyebrow was raised at the questioning look and he shook his head lightly. It caused something to spark within his Professor's eyes before the man glanced away as if something had become extremely distasteful. He had been correct, something _had_ happened between them and with his friend's absence he knew something would happen.

Harry was lying on the couch with his legs hanging over the arm rest, staring at the ceiling when he heard the faintest squeak of the portrait opening. The feast must have been over already and the early leavers were coming back. However, he nearly jumped off the couch when he heard the sultry baritone voice echo through the otherwise silent common room and turned his heard quickly.

"Sir." Harry said, worrying his lip and sitting up.

"Why were you not at the feast?" Severus stalked into the room but stood several meters away from the teen.

"Didn't want to go." _Didn't have anything to wear mainly_ , he corrected to himself.

"You need to eat something." Severus commented, remembering the withering look Minerva had given him when she asked where he was.

"Not hungry." Harry replied petulantly.

"Blast it, Potter." Severus growled and he saw the widening of green eyes as he approached, "Get up." He snapped and grabbed his arm.

"Let me go!" Harry retaliated but the grip was too strong for him to resist.

They headed towards the common room entrance and it wasn't until they were out in the corridor that the man let him go. He wanted to fight back and argue but he found that he didn't have the energy and followed like a diligent puppy. It was clear where they were going when they rounded a corner and he saw the familiar portrait ahead.

"Sit." Severus pushed on Harry's shoulder towards a bench, narrowly missing standing on a house elf as she whisked around the kitchen.

"A plate of what is upstairs, please." Severus was talking to another elf who did as they were instructed.

Harry glared at the man who then came to sit in front of him. Whatever it was, could have waited until the new week but even as he sat there waiting a low grumble was heard from the empty and obviously hungry stomach. He blushed when he saw that his Professor was looking at him expectantly and averted his gaze to the other side of the room. He felt positively depressed by this situation.

"Eat." Severus commanded, placing the plate in front of his student and sitting on the other side of the bench.

Harry looked at the man painfully, wondering why the hell this was happening and at what point his Professor had felt that his last resort was to watch him eat. The last time they'd been anywhere this close to each other was earlier in the week when Harry had stupidly done one thing he shouldn't have. _Hugged,_ his Professor. He still felt embarrassed about it, he believed that it made him look weak and immature. _Why_ had he done it?

" _Eat_." The command was far stronger this time and he picked up the fork, slowly eating what was on his plate.

There was no way he was ever going to eat this much, as Hermione had put it, he still ate like a chicken, only pecking at his food. He tried anyway, ignoring the burning gaze he was being given from above. It certainly didn't make him eat any faster or any more than he usually did.

Severus watched the boy, it felt strange – odd even – what had happened the other day. Was the teen _that_ desperate for attention and affection that he felt the only thing was to lunge at his person? Touch him? It didn't make sense. Now though, he felt a small amount of regret at the way he'd treated Harry afterwards, he could have been less vicious but then that was how he had learnt to react. It was better to be feared than loved; and he didn't want Harry getting emotionally attached just because he was given some attention. He was not a nice person, remember?

"I'm sorry." Harry was hunched on the bench, plate pushed to the side when Severus focussed his eyes on the boy.

"What for, Potter?"

"The – uh – hug." He stammered, his face brightening again.

"Think nothing of it." Severus replied, turning his head away to watch the elves.

Harry felt even smaller now, whatever he had thought would be the response that hadn't been it. He played with the vial around his neck, surprised that after everything it had remained where it was and not lost.

"Master, Harry Potter. Kreacher at your service, my Lord." Harry's head snapped around at the familiar scrawny drawl and felt a sense of familiarity at seeing the elf.

"Hi, Kreacher. What are you doing here?" Harry asked, thumbing the vial.

"Sewa tells Kreacher that his Master is in the kitchens. Kreacher has to see for himself."

"Well… here I am?" Harry replied awkwardly, his face a mixture of confusion and fondness.

"If Master Harry Potter is finished, would my Lord like dessert?"

Harry glanced at his half eaten dinner, he wasn't hungry but he didn't want to upset the elf and nodded with a small smile. Then he looked at his Professor who was eyeing the vial around his neck and seemingly not engaging in the conversation.

"And he'll have some too." Harry nodded in his Professor's direction and Kreacher bowed low before running off.

"What are you doing, Potter?" Severus asked, but it was more a resignated sigh than anything else.

"I don't particularly want to eat by myself." He forced his voice to remain level and it worked, but the man didn't seem invested in that train of thought, instead he changed the subject.

"I noticed the pendant when you were in the Infirmary. Memories?"

Harry felt the blood drain from his face, forgetting that they were actually memories that _he_ had given. He immediately felt guilty for having them in his possession but then a mischievous thought crossed his mind and it alleviated any doubts that he about them.

"I think you know what they are, sir." He replied, letting the pendant go but not able to meet the man's eye.

Severus's heart rate doubled at the comment and his lips parted in some form of gasp. Harry had been carrying around the memories of that night for how long now? Who knew about them? He didn't feel comfortable knowing that his deepest memories were being paraded around daily, especially not on Harry Potter.

"Was there anything else, Master is requiring?" Kreacher interrupted the tense moment by placing two bowls in front of the Wizards.

"Oh, a Butterbeer would be ni – "

"He will not." Severus interrupted and glared at the elf who scarpered away.

Harry couldn't face the tension any longer and pushed the chocolate delicacy around his plate, having a quick taste from the spoon and not once looking up. He thought maybe he'd gotten away with his admission over carrying the memories as they sat in silence for a while, the only noise was ambience from the house elves. Harry decided that he quite enjoyed what was in front of him and continued eating, not that he noticed the other Wizard sitting there unmoving.

"What purpose is there for holding on?" Severus found himself asking, noticing the way his Slytherin blanched at the question.

"I thought it would bring peace." Harry replied honestly, there was no point in hiding.

"It does not?"

"It's complicated." Harry said dejectedly but his eyes looked at his Professor when he heard the snort, "What?" He asked defensively thinking that if he'd known the man would laugh he would have kept his mouth shut.

"Potter, _we are_ complicated. Things are never black and white with people such as us. This includes your friend, Mr. Malfoy."

Instantly, Harry felt a little better after the explanation but it caused him more conflict within because his Head of House understood. How was he supposed to tell the Headmistress this? That he'd rather speak with the Wizard sitting in front of him than the slicked git of a therapist. Well, if he was forced to speak with anyone that was. He still didn't like opening up about everything, he'd much rather keep it to himself.

Groaning and pushing his bowl away, he ran his fingers through his unruly locks in frustration at the situations he kept getting himself into. Sighing and spreading himself lazily along the table, he stared at the bowl his Professor hadn't really touched. He was pretty sure this was how being at the bottom of the barrel felt. Being inconsequential and spare.

"I guess you're right." Harry finally acknowledged.

"When is your next meeting with, Dr. Fletcher?" Seeing the boy looking sad, it reminded him of the other day.

"Wednesday after classes. We didn't really get far and I don't intend on letting it get any further."

"Potter, you are aware that is _not_ how therapy works."

"Sir, we've been over this before. Can I go now?" Harry sat up, he was very tired now and just wanted to get some sleep.

Seeing as the boy had eaten and kept himself out of trouble, Severus decided that he had no reason to keep him there any longer and nodded, standing. They remained silent for the walk back to the common room where a few people had trickled into but the main event was still upstairs. Minerva hadn't granted him the night off from chaperoning and he would be required to monitor the grounds soon.

He didn't bother escorting him any further than the portrait into the common room and stood there for a moment before bidding him farewell. Harry turned around, holding the portrait open as he watched the man's retreating form. Whatever had just happened between them… left an impression that had Harry smiling, even if it was just a small tug of the lips.


	16. Chapter 16

.

Harry tried his best to get comfortable in his high-backed arm chair as he felt the impenetrable gaze from Dr. Fletcher in front of him. He hadn't been looking forward to this at all and thought he could just not turn up. Unfortunately, the better part of his subconscious didn't allow him to do such a thing and here he sat, fiddling with the cuff on his school jumper.

"So, how has this week been, Harry?"

"It's been fine I guess."

"I heard there was a Halloween ball over the weekend." The man rubbed his chin, leaning to one side.

"Yeah, I didn't attend." Harry slouched and stared into the fire.

"And why not?" He probed and Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Because I didn't want to. I had no need to go."

"You forget, Harry. Your friends would have liked to see you, yes?"

"I _couldn't_ go! Okay, just drop it." Harry frowned and sat upright, not liking that he'd had to burst out like that because he knew the man would continue to ask until they got to the main issue.

"Couldn't go? I don't believe the Headmistress had excluded you from the event."

"She didn't. I chose not to go. I chose to stay in the common room alone. I chose to be by myself because I felt more comfortable that way. Because… I had no dress robes anyway." Harry sighed and looked into his lap with sagging shoulders.

"My school robes are the best I've got." Harry glared at his therapist who had an odd expression on his face but finally it settled on ambivalence.

"I see. Shall we talk about the forest then?"

"I'd rather not." Harry replied but he knew there was no hope in changing the subject.

"Okay then, what else would you like to talk about?" He surprised the teen with this and sat there with a smile.

Harry thought about this for a moment and then looked at his left forearm. Madame Pomfrey had tried to remove the bandages, saying that he could go without them but he'd refused. He still didn't want to deal with them and felt immense shame. No one had told him what was underneath them, when they'd tried he'd blocked out their voices. He had a sneaking suspicion but he would rather have it unconfirmed and live his life with the bandages covering it.

"Does it… Will I… My scars?" Harry wasn't sure how to populate a question.

"You want to know when looking at your scars will stop feeling nauseating?" Dr. Fletcher asked and Harry nodded.

"There's… well there's some that I don't ever want to look at." Harry pulled up his jumper and rolled his sleeve up to his elbow.

The cuts on his arm were fading well and would soon just be raised lines along his skin but the bandaged ones were what he really wanted to address. Whilst burying it away seemed fine, he knew that eventually he would need to deal with them. He couldn't go through the rest of his life with a bandage on his arm. As much as he preferred it, the rational side of his brain was telling him to quit being stubborn.

"I have seen these, Harry. Unfortunately, I was not surprised to see what they were."

"They?" Harry frowned, he had two Dark Marks on his forearm?

"Yes. They. Have you not seen them at all?" The boy shook his head and Dr. Fletcher closed his eyes, looking down for a moment.

"Please don't tell me what they are. I know they're different but I don't want to know."

"Harry, how do you expect to move on if you are so scared of exploring this?"

"I'm not scared of this, I just don't want to do this with _you_." Harry rushed out and then pulled his sleeve down, "Okay, you are always talking about these things but you don't understand what it's like. You don't know how it feels to relive every moment of pain – or how Voldemort's perverted fantasies fills my nightmares. You don't know what it feels like to drag myself out of bed, knowing that there's another pointless mind-numbing day to get through. You don't understand how afraid I am to even hold my wand, to raise it in practice for a class knowing that _very_ wand could kill someone."

Harry's chest was heaving and his fists were clenched.

"You don't know what it's like to see the ones you love, _die_ right in your arms." Tears formed in Harry's eyes, "You didn't find out that all your life you were raised to die! I'm no war hero, Dr. Fletcher. I'm a product of war, a machine built to survive until the right moment. To – _slaughter_ myself in the name of the Wizarding World."

"Harry – "

"No! Don't – _Harry_ – me. I'm done with all this. We get nowhere in these sessions and I don't want to talk with you. The only reason I had this massive self-implosion was because I _tried_ facing my fears and it back fired. Now I am forever scared with the physical memory of what happened."

He was growing warm, he could feel the shirt on his back starting to stick and it wasn't because of the fire that was calmly dancing in front of him. He was the opposite of that fire, he was getting wound up. Now, Dr. Fletcher would have remembered his patient getting like this once prior and the results hadn't been all that great. He didn't know that Harry didn't have his wand now but he kept pushing nonetheless. It was like the man had a death wish.

"So how _does_ it feel, Harry? How does it make you feel when no one around you understands?" He asked passionately, leaning forward in his chair and a glistening shine in his eyes.

What happened next, Harry didn't know; one moment they were just sitting in the Room of Requirement and the next he was being held up against the wall by an invisible force. He screamed, not in pain, but in frustration. Dr. Fletcher had his wand out and his arm extended, pointing it at him. His nostrils flared and his stomach jerked forcefully as he looked down the end of the man's wand and tried kicking out to get away from him.

Dr. Fletcher took the situation in his stride and with complete control. He recognised the signs in Harry's eyes immediately and lowered his wand but his face was set with a hard expression. He wasn't impressed at the explosion of angry magic but he was a therapist, someone who needed to remain calm. He approached carefully, seeing Harry's breathing change to softer gasps for breath.

"That was uncalled for, Harry. Your magic, even after blasting all your reserves a few weeks ago is fierce and protective. It is remarkable how you have bounced back. But this fear you have, this unbridled emotion that you allow to build up needs to be addressed. Your strength and bravery are unquestionable and you are _correct_ , I do not know what it's like to feel as you do but the one thing I am able to do, is talk."

It was at that moment the doors to the Room of Requirement burst open in a flurry of robes and wands, the three individuals assessed the situation before making any rash decisions. Minerva saw her student magically bound to the wall and walked in closer when she saw the tired but panicked look on his face. Severus growled at the scene and he too walked, following the Headmistress's footsteps. Poppy stayed where she was until the spell was taken off Harry and rushed forward when he collapsed to the ground. It had just so happened that the three of them were standing in the Infirmary when an alarm went off for Minerva, alerting her to an attack on a student by an adult.

"Explain." Minerva ordered, spluttering in utter astonishment.

"Harry was on the verge of another magical explosion, I had to stop it before he destroyed not only me but the room as well." Dr. Fletcher's voice was calm.

"I am surprised by that." Poppy murmured, cradling Harry's head to make sure he was alright but he seemed out of consciousness.

"And what, pray tell, had him _so_ wound up that he felt this was the only way to escape it?" Severus was openly frowning and sneered in the psychiatrist's direction.

"He was on a roll, I certainly wasn't going to stop him. It was the first time he ever mentioned the death of someone in his arms. How he was forced to watch a loved one pass on." Severus blanched and averted his eyes, looking over to his student that was starting to rouse; unfortunately this didn't go unnoticed by Dr. Fletcher.

Harry groaned and was able to open his eyes slowly, when he did and took stock of who was in the room he felt relief when he saw the pooling of black robes at the feet of his Head of House. There was an unmistakeable Scottish voice speaking but the fogginess in his mind wasn't able to articulate what she was saying.

"Potter, can you stand?" Poppy used a hushed voice as to not disrupt the other three adults in the room and he tried standing, even if it was on wobbly legs.

Looking in the direction of his Defence Professor, Harry met the man's eye to find something odd stirring within the dark onyx pools. It soon ended when the man looked away and Harry found that the Headmistress was talking sternly to his Doctor.

"Let's go, Potter. I'll look you over down stairs." Madame Pomfrey supported him as she went to pull him out of the room but he resisted for a moment.

"No, wait…" Harry muttered, looking back at what was going on.

"Mr. Potter, I must insist." She said again but he suddenly panicked, worried that something was going to happen.

He'd snapped, yes, he accepted that, but he didn't want to have this discussed without him in the room. He'd spent too long being kept in the dark about various aspects of his life and he sure as hell didn't want it to happen again. His cry out caused the Headmistress to turn around and address him but she was very firm in the belief that he needed to leave the room.

" _Sir?_ " It was Harry's last ditch attempt at gaining some control of the situation but it was to no avail.

Severus could feel the anxiety rolling off the teen and he found himself stuck between a hard place. The Headmistress was very set in her ways in what she wanted but surely she couldn't ignore what was plainly in front of her. Here was a student who was once again being backed into a corner, having any decisions about his future taken away from him. He wouldn't allow it, not this time. Severus had seen enough and it was time to put his foot down.

"Why don't we continue this in my office." Minerva offered and the three of the vacated the room.

They turned in the opposite direction down the corridor and Severus paused for a moment, glancing over his shoulder at the shaky teen slowly walking away. He needed a voice in all this and Severus was going to take it upon himself to make sure the boy was heard.

Settling in Minerva's office, Severus and Dr. Fletcher took their respective seats. Severus remained silent for now, he would have his input when necessary but first he wanted to know what had happened and what was _going_ to happen. They went straight into it and it seemed Minerva was rightfully blunt with her questioning.

"With all due respect, Headmistress. I have encountered this with Harry once before, though I am grateful I caught him before he unleashed his wand."

"He is not in possession of his wand." Minerva replied, looking quickly at Severus, "We felt it best to limit the use of it until he is not likely to act against himself."

"Ah, well I suppose I should thank you, Minerva. It was no – "

"It was Severus." She cut in and if Severus could read between the lines, he sat there with satisfaction that she knew it had been the right thing to do.

"I would like to speak with him again this week, the progress we made today was good."

Severus looked from the psychiatrist to Minerva and back several times before he focussed on the Witch. She seemed hesitant and their eyes met for a moment before she leaned forward on her desk, considering something.

"May I ask what prompted him to start reeling off his losses?" Severus filled the silence and regarded the man critically and watched how he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

Whatever the man was trying to hide, Severus was going to extract it whether willingly or by force. He hadn't trusted the man to this day and at this rate he would continue to do so. Minerva too, seemed to be considering the situation and her eyes narrowed at the man impatiently as he formulated a politcal response.

"He refuses to acknowledge the two cuts on his left forearm and they remain bandaged. When we were – " The man clearled his throat.

"Go on." Severus was like a Panther, ready to pounce as he saw the self confident structure beginning to crumble.

"He and I have been through this before, he doesn't trust that I understand him. That was how the tirade began; like I said – about loved ones."

"And I will assume that he is correct." Severus was holding back ever so much, the smirk was just one confirming comment away from spreading across his mouth.

"Severus, please." Minerva chided, rolling her eyes and not in the mood for one of the Slytherin's beat downs.

When Dr. Fletcher didn't say anything, he pounced elegantly, standing and looking down at the man. Fletcher stood out of respect and attempted to size up the Defence Professor but Severus had been in situations such as this before. Standing straight, Severus took two steps forward so he was looming down on the man even though he wasn't that much taller. Then, with a chillingly quiet and deep voice be began, articulating like an icy blade.

"So, you are telling us that you have experienced the loss of a being, hmm? You have held on to them tightly, their limp body cradled in your arms; talking, _begging_ for them to stay with you. You have watched… as the _light_ leaves their eyes? Every moment you have spent together, it flashes across your eyes as the heartstrings snap… singularly… _one_ by _one_ … in an achingly slow pace?"

Dr Fletcher took a step back only to find it was matched, until he felt his back hit the wall and he realised he'd been cornered. Severus's eyes shone darkly, his face void of any emotion except a satisfied smugness as he placed a hand on the wall by the man's head. The visitor swallowed heavily at the intimidation he felt, not something he was generally accustomed to.

"Severus…" Minerva warned.

"No." Dr. Fletcher breathed, in answer to the man.

"No? Well, _Harry does_." Severus commented plainly and Minerva glanced up at Albus who was watching with interest.

"How about we reverse the situation, hmm? Lying there, on the floor… Blood _dripping_ down your body and the only person in the room looks paralyzed with fear. _Your_ life flashes before you, hearing the _desperate_ begs. But you know this is the way it is meant to be, you cannot control this now… As your blood slows… breathing becomes shorter, _heavier_ … your eyesight blurs. Then suddenly nothing ceases to exist."

Dr. Fletcher swallowed heavily again, he felt Severus's warm breath on his neck and the shell of his ear. He was trapped in a darkness, one that felt oppressive and one sided.

"Do you know how that feels, _Doctor Fletcher?"_ His voice dripped with a mocking tone and he felt rather than saw the shake of the man's head.

" _I. Do_." Severus's voice was nothing but a wisp of breath before he pushed himself back off the wall and took several steps backwards.

Oh how he _missed_ this controlled dominance, making an individual squirm under his words and actions. This was an easy take down, his prey had cornered himself into submission through no fault of his own. _This_ was how he believed Harry felt on a daily basis, that look in dazzling blue eyes were watching him in caution, wary even. What the man had done, winding Harry up like he had, it wasn't right. The man deserved every bit of explosive, untamed magic Harry had to offer.

"That's enough, Severus." Albus's voice floated down from his portrait, and he willingly stepped back.

"I misjudged you, Severus. It seems I have also misinterpreted, Harry." Dr. Fletcher seemed thoroughly pegged down and if Severus didn't despise the man so much he'd have thought he had an alluring dishevelled look about him.

In the background, Severus could hear the chiming of bells which indicated that his presence was required elsewhere. He shot Minerva a knowing glance and she nodded.

"I would like to continue this conversation with you, Severus. Perhaps, Dr. Flether if you could come back at a later date so we may finish."

Severus didn't wait for a response, he turned quickly and left the room. As he descended the stairs he felt the faintest interest rubbing against his thigh and grumbled unpleasantly. He'd always gained satisfaction for exuding his presence over another, but not to this degree in a very long time that he found it an irritation rather than pleasant. He had always been known for treating his students in this way, it wasn't the individual at all, it was what he called, _control_. But of course, he never felt like _this_ after exuding his control over a class of students, satisfaction yes, but not arousal.

When he made it to the corridor however, he'd only managed a few meters when he heard the rushed footsteps coming down the stairs but didn't make any effort to stop until he heard his name being called. He paused where he was but didn't turn around.

"I am petitioning for Harry's care to be put into your hands. I believe you can offer him more than I."

Severus took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. This _was_ a surprise and he wondered if the little scene he'd set just minutes prior had anything to do with the man's decision. He certainly didn't feel a burden was being placed on him, quite the opposite and he wondered if now, Minerva would finally listen to him.

"Severus…" He paused, and walked closer and as Severus looked over his shoulder he saw the man had recovered some of his tattered composure, "I hope that in time, Harry finds peace."

Severus narrowed his eyes.

"And in turn, I hope _you_ can find peace _with_ him. There are many layers to you both, I haven't spent any time with you to know the extent but I have witnessed enough."

"Indeed." Was all Severus replied with, he was still bristling from the man's presence.

"If you find at any point you need – "

"I will manage." Severus snapped, giving the man a head to toe go over and sneered, turning back around and heading to his classroom.

"That's what happened between you, yes? He watched you die?" Severus halted and spun viciously before stalking back and impaling the man with the darkest expression he could muster.

"Whatever happened between Harry and I is no longer relevant to you. If he has not told you, then I will not disclose anything. Am I clear?"

He didn't wait for an answer and instead went on his way, classes were about to start and he wasn't going to be late.

Still steaming when he arrived for his fifth year class, he growled at them all like he would have done two years ago and watched them all jump. One student made the grave mistake of picking up on this and voicing his opinion, so naturally, feeling disgruntled he made sure the entire Ravenclaw house felt the repercussions. There were a lot of house points taken and the best part for Severus, was that the student shrunk and didn't utter another word all lesson.

 **. . .**

Feeling drained, Harry was released before dinner and made his way to the Great Hall. He found Draco sitting alone and immediately went over, sitting in front of him. Draco only seemed to glance up but when he noticed something on Harry's face he frowned.

"I suppose that expression is the reason you weren't in afternoon classes?" The blonde commented and Harry nodded but left it at that.

He felt exhausted, but from what Madame Pomfrey had said it was to be expected. Everything was such a mess, he wanted some order and control. This chaos was partly the reason why he was anxious all the time and when he looked at the head table he hoped to have seen his Head of House. He needed to know what was going on. Feeling disappointed, he turned back to his dinner but hid his face when he heard leering from the Gryffindor table.

"Hey, Harry! Is it true you're going into the mad house?" Seamus called from behind him, "I don't think they do green straight jackets, white should work though!" He laughed and so did some of the other lower years in the Gryffindor camp.

"Shut up." Harry whispered to himself and Draco sneered in their direction.

"I'm surprised they haven't locked you up, already." He continued and Harry was just about to turn around to spit back at them when a black cloak snapped past him and Professor Snape stood by the boys.

"Mr. Finnegan, if you cannot refrain from yelling during dinner then perhaps you would benefit from having detention on the Quidditch pitch." Severus drawled, before taking points away for disorderly conduct.

"Lucky he's your Head of House, Potter. _Both_ of you should be in straight jackets!" Seamus hissed across the table once Professor Snape had walked away and this time Draco couldn't hold back any longer.

"The only reason you're still here, Finnegan, is because of Harry. Shut your trap and choke on a carrot." The blonde said, standing and thumping his hand on the bench.

"Oh, look, Potter you've got yourself an admirer." The Irishman sniggered, as did a few others but it seemed he'd ruffled a few Slytherin feathers also and soon he found himself knocked to the floor by an unidentified curse.

Harry surveyed what was happening and went into a panic. There were people standing up around him and there was yelling. Cussing and noise. It was chaos and he maintained his position sitting in front of his empty plate, pulling at his hair and covering his ears.

He wasn't aware that he'd started rocking until he stopped as a hand was placed on his shoulder. Not trying to see who it was he stood and exited the hall in a hurry, his eyes stinging from unshed tears. The voices in his head were talking to him, telling him everything was going to be alright but he couldn't believe them, why should he?

He wanted to disappear. So… that's what he did.

Hermione was holding Ron back and away from the fighting. She hadn't seen quite this level of violence since their fifth year when people thought Harry and Professor Dumbledore were plotting psychopaths. She didn't want Ron getting involved and Gryffindor was losing enough points as it was. Not that it actually bothered her anymore, but she didn't want him getting into trouble.

"Ron, come on, let it go." She pulled his arm but he resisted for a moment.

"'Mione, that snake just messed with us and now look at the whole of Slytherin!" His defence was weak and she looked at him bluntly, seeing through it.

"Fine, get yourself into detention. See if I care." She commented passive aggressively and went to walk away, surprised when he slipped his arm around her waist.

"Please don't be angry." He said, knowing they were already on rocky ground.

Sitting away from the madness that was ensuing down the table they sat together and watched from afar, holding hands tightly.

"Ron, I just think it's time for you to grow up." She started, her voice tense. "You don't even seem to care that Harry isn't here now, he disappeared a few minutes ago. Take a moment to look at what you've become, who you're turning into. Don't you remember when Draco used to taunt Harry like Seamus just did? How can you not see that you're becoming _like_ them?"

"But, Hermione – "

"No, Ron. You need to work out whose side you're on." She finished and looked down the table, Professor's were splitting up the group and going their separate ways.

She only hoped now that Harry was okay.

As Minerva rallied up the worst offenders from the outburst, she marched them to her office in a huff. Severus wasn't impressed either, none of the other Professors were and he heard the Headmistress demanding to know what had caused the ruckus. Casting his eyes around the Great Hall, he growled when he couldn't see an unruly mass of dark hair sitting amongst the students. He had to admit that Harry hadn't had the best day and this was just icing on his cake. He was also disappointed in Draco for acting the way he did when the blonde walked past him on his way to the Headmistresses office.

"Silence." He commanded at the noise level in the hall, just because Minerva had left didn't mean the remaining students could continue, "Any person heard _gossiping_ about what just transpired can also find themselves in detention."

At this the hall went silent and for once, Severus was able to continue his meal in a subdued hall, not that he felt particularly hungry now.

 **. . .**

Harry leaned sideways against the railing as he sat in the Astronomy tower. The cold wind was refreshing and mirrored how he felt on the inside. Empty. Well, that wasn't entirely true, there was a storm brewing within his veins but for now he was trying to calm himself into a happier place. Letting the side of his head drop against the metal railing also, he looked out over the castle and lower grounds. It was going to start snowing soon, he could feel it in the air and he took a long deep breath.

 _You've been so brave, sweetheart_.

No, he hadn't, he had disappointed everyone and continued to do so. He could only imagine what his Head of House thought about him.

 _Blast it, Potter! What idiocy was going through that thick skull of yours?_

Professor Snape's voice invaded his mind and he huffed darkly at the tone he dreamt. He could always count on the man to be sour about things but then again, he could be kind also. Or was it understanding? Hmm, he shouldn't get these two confused. It would only lead to dangerous thoughts otherwise. Regardless, Harry really wanted some comfort from this internal storm. He felt so alone.

"You left me alone… I needed you." He said to the cold wind.

Pulling the vial from down his shirt, he looked at the silvery contents and gripped it tightly, remembering his mother, then his family. _They should be here_ , he thought bitterly and moving his gaze to the rippling shore down by the lake. His left wrist throbbed in remembrance of the first time he cut himself. He felt exactly the same right now, except there was something different about him, and it wasn't because he didn't have his wand.

"What if I did it…" He said aloud, gripping the chilly railing with his hands and hoisting himself up, "Would anyone care?" He continued, leaning across and looking straight at the ground.

 _Avarda Kedavra_.

A shiver went down Harry's spine at the deep voice that resonated within and he glanced over his shoulder. He was standing where Professor Dumbledore had been when Professor Snape had killed him. He remembered how angry he'd felt but now – _He was only doing what he was asked –_ He no longer felt that anger, it stung obviously, but he couldn't get upset about it. Not after finding out the truth.

"Avarda Kedavra." He whispered into the winter breeze before turning back to the railing and leaning on it with his elbows, one leg pressed against the first row.

It would be easy, it would take the pain away – he would be falling to his freedom. Closing his eyes, a lone tear slipped down his cheek as he let the wind sweep through his hair as if he were flying through the air. _Wouldn't that be something…_ He thought in awe as he considered slipping off the ledge. The air whistling around him, weightless and falling. Then nothing, it would be blackness.

He gripped the ledge forcefully with both hands, his leg still on the first stepping and took a deep breath in.

" _Avarda Kedavra!_ " He shouted across the night sky.

Minerva was standing in the shadows below where Harry was, eyes wide with what she'd heard. Casting her Patronus the cat slunk away with her message and waited, wand drawn just in case the teen decided to do something silly. Her heart went out to him and she recalled the way he entered the main courtyard at the beginning of the year. She should have known that he needed help back then but she'd played it to chance. How much of a lapse in judgement had that been? Almost catastrophic.

She stood with baited breath, she believed that Severus knew what should happen in this situation and didn't trust herself to approach her student. After what had transpired between Dr. Fletcher earlier in the day it unnerved her the unpredictability that he had. This wasn't a teen she recognised, this was a damaged student who needed help and support. Hopefully, this came in the form of her Defence Professor.

She could hear distant steps on wooden floorboards and when the shadows moved, she placed a finger across her lips and motioned with her wand, upwards. Frowning, Severus moved his eyes to look between the floorboards and could see the outline of a student. Stepping backwards carefully, he peered through the gap and saw Harry standing there, leaning over the edge.

 _He wouldn't_ , Severus thought and immediately pulled his wand from his pocket and nodded to the Headmistress before creeping up the stairs as to not surprise the teen. He was precariously close to the edge and any sudden movements could startle him into losing his balance. This wasn't something that he wanted to see, he thought that he and Harry had gone over this. Sighing, he reached the same floor as the Slytherin and leaned against the wall in the shadows, hoping that his magic would be identified before he had to reveal himself.

"Fuck it." Harry finally said, peering over the side one more time, "I can't do this." He muttered and turned around to sit on the floor, his back against the rails.

He huffed with dark amusement, he couldn't do anything right. He couldn't even kill himself correctly. Shaking his head he began muttering but it wasn't anything intelligent. Then he looked at his pendant again, he just wanted a family, someone that cared and nurtured him. Someone he could rely on. Leaning his head back against the railing he went to look at the ceiling when something caught his attention, frowning and looking into the darkness he thought he could see the outline of a person and slowly went to stand.

"Relax, Potter." Severus said softly, coming into the moonlit area.

Crouching, Harry watched the man warily and was glad it was him instead of the others. If he had of been spotted by the Headmistress, well then he was as good as gone wasn't he? St. Mungos and a cup filled with pills. He shuddered at the thought.

"Why are you here?" Severus asked calmly, both hands in his pockets.

"I didn't know what else to do." Harry replied, standing now and leaning his lower back against the rails, "Are you going to tell, Professor McGonagall? She'll send me away this time, won't she?"

Harry's voice was small and Severus found himself frowning at what was said. He surmised that it didn't look particularly good, what had occurred today, but that didn't mean they were going to expel Harry for this. No, it was quite the opposite and there was a small shimmer of pride he felt when he realised he'd be the one to tell the teen his fate.

"I think you will be surprised." The man commented, walking forward and leaning against the closest pillar where the teen was.

"It appears that Dr. Fletcher has seen a lost cause and is no longer able to fulfil that role for you." Severus toyed and he saw a range of emotions morph across the youthful but aging face before it settled on defeat.

"He is gone, Harry. After what happened today, he has realised that perhaps he is not the best person dealing with your case and has passed the baton on to another." Severus explained and Harry looked at him painfully.

"Does that mean I'll be seeing someone else then, sir?" Harry turned away and looked over the grounds, the wind sweeping his hair out of his eyes.

"Yes."

There was a sigh and Harry looked down at the pendant again, wishing that he could apparate away from everything and start a new life. One where he didn't have to talk to anyone or even be around anyone. Perhaps a life with Charlie Weasely would be good for him, living amongst the dragons. It certainly wouldn't ever be boring.

"When does she want me looked at, sir?" Harry sounded like a sad, distant little child and Severus decided it was time to put the boy out of his misery.

"Well, Potter let me check my already overloaded schedule to see when I can fit you in." He was rewarded with an unguarded surprised expression when Harry's head twisted round but was unsure whether he looked relieved or apprehensive.

"You?" Harry choked out.

"Indeed. Interesting, isn't it?" Severus was smug, no doubt about it and his reward was relief from his Slytherin.

"How – "

"Seems that after your performance today and a few stern words from myself was enough for him to realise that he was not going to understand." Severus raised an eyebrow and then looked out over the grounds himself, Harry had moved and there was enough space for them both so he moved beside the teen.

Harry couldn't believe it, he'd been worried all this time that if he didn't improve the Headmistress was going to get rid of him but now he had a chance. He had someone who understood and could support him; even though he was unsure about how this would look in the future, but right now that storm had calmed. Allowing himself a relaxing breath, he closed his eyes before smiling into the darkness.

"You know what this means now, Potter?" Severus broke the silence with a stern tone.

"I start talking?" Harry answered but when he looked at the man standing very closely beside him, he saw the shaking of his head.

Turning sideways to watch the teen now in front of him, he leaned forward but Harry stepped backwards. _Big mistake, boy_ , he thought and cornered Harry against the stone pillar, putting his hand on the railing to close the teen in. Able to lean forward now without Harry backing away, his face was very close to the Slytherin's and with a dangerous smirk he whispered quietly into his ear.

"I own you now, Potter." Harry closed his eyes and gasped at the seductive tone in his ear.

Holding his breath now and fidgeting, his knee touched the man's thigh before his Professor moved his head back so they were looking each other in the eye.

"I will help free your mind. We will unchain those wings so they may stretch and grow. You will learn how to control your emotions and _hopefully_ discipline your mind."

Harry wasn't thinking at all, the familiar words rung in his mind but the only thing he was doing was eyeing the lips that were so very close to him. Dark eyes pierced him passionately and Harry forced himself to swallow. This was what he wanted, he wanted to be free of the voices and haunted memories of the past.

Severus didn't say another word, he didn't have to. Instead, he let a smirk pull at his lips before backing away from Harry and into the shadows, pleased to hear footsteps following him from behind.

 **. . .**

 _ **Too far?**_

 ** _;)_**


	17. Chapter 17

.

 ** _Oh yes, I love to tease ;)_**

 ** _I'm glad you enjoyed the 'close but not close enough' moment._**

 ** _Happy reading._**

 ** _. . ._**

When the weekend hit, Harry was enjoying a dream that felt all too real. Yes, he was actually _enjoying_ something other than suffering through pain and depression. This enjoyment he felt was quite real, in fact when he rolled onto his stomach he felt the hardness of his enjoyment pressing into the mattress. He groaned and fisted the pillow as his hips ground against the sheets.

Eyes snapped open when he realised where he was and what he was doing. _Dear Merlin_ , he groaned but this time it wasn't from pleasure, rather frustration. This hadn't happened much, well at all, for a very long time and he got a thrill out of it. Still lying on his front, he glanced over his shoulder at his roommates and sniffed at his unfortunate situation, there was no way he could act on this, not here. Looking at the time, he grumbled at how early it was and buried his face into the pillow. There was no rush to get up, it was the weekend after all.

Sighing and rolling onto his front, he attempted to clear his mind of anything sexual he may have been thinking about. He needed the morning wood to disappear or at least soften so he didn't look like he was going to poke someone's eye out on the way to the bathroom. What had he been thinking about anyway? His dream seemed a little hazy but he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _Mmm, a warm body… right…_ He remembered his head dropping back against something cold and hard. _Stone…_ He let a smile spread across his face as he remembered the way a cool breeze whistled past his face. A body pressed up against his, pressing him into the solid wall and a hand brushed past his cheek.

Harry snaked a hand down his body and wrapped his warm fingers around the hard length tenting the covers. He bit back a moan, his teeth pushing down on his bottom lip fiercely, almost drawing blood. It had been so long, the temptation to shoot off was too great this time and he gave himself a couple of experimental strokes to start off, his hips rising off the bed gently. His eyes snapped open when he heard movement from across the room so he quickly rolled onto his front and pulled the pillow over his head. The mattress stimulating his erection gently as he shifted and he bit back another moan.

Grumbling to himself he looked back at the other two and saw they were still in bed. He wasn't going to pleasure himself in this room, it felt too weird and the blood that had been travelling south slowed, softening him. He took that as his cue and grabbed some clothes, covering his groin as he made it into the bathroom. He had the room to himself at this hour and locking himself in one of the stalls, he turned the water on.

Standing under the hot spray, he closed his eyes and felt the jerk of his cock springing back to life. It was too much for him, he had to do something about it, after months – _years_ – of nothing he thought he was going to explode. Wasting no time in delaying his orgasm he grabbed himself roughly and gritted his teeth as pleasure shot through his entire body. Biting his lip and placing his other hand on the wall he fisted his erection and beat it as if his life depended on it.

He thought back to the pleasant dream he'd been having, the figure in front of him was so close, his body warm against the cool breeze. Hanging his head, still stroking himself, he wanted to pull the figure to him. He wanted release, he wanted to feel cherished. But most of all, he wanted to feel those hands of another caressing his body and bringing him to release.

 _I will free your mind._

Harry moaned and pressed his forehead against the shower wall, his arm too weak to hold himself up as he readied for the inevitable. He wanted to pull those lips to his own, he wanted to feel that body pushing him harder into the cold stone. Dreaming of the figures hands on his waist, pushing and pulling him between the stone and his solid body, Harry came with a prolonged grunt and panted out through the waves.

"Oh fuck…" He whispered as his head swam in the afterglow of his orgasm.

Feeling ashamed of what he'd done, he finished up his shower quickly and then went upstairs for breakfast. Running a hand through his damp hair, he sat down alone and stared at his plate for a while, spacing out and thinking about the shower. Straightening in his seat and stretching his shoulders he felt lighter in a way, like a pressure or weight had been lifted and he smiled lazily at the empty plate before he picked up an apple from the fruit bowl in front of him.

Lost in his thoughts, he was watching the morning pass him by until he laid eyes on his Head of House and wondering when the man had arrived. With the silly smile still on his face he watched as the man helped himself to, undoubtedly, coffee when something strange happened to Harry. He frowned and looked at his apple as if it held answers, then took another bite, chewing slowly. Then something dawned on him.

"Fuck." He said aloud to himself.

Looking back up after he said it, he met a pair of dark eyes that looked surprised for a moment before they narrowed. Holding his breath, the teen felt a twitch from his groin and his ear tingled at the memory of a whispered promise. Was it a promise? _I own you, Potter_ , was more of a threat wasn't it?

"Harry?" He was briefly aware Hermione was calling him and placed a hand on his arm but he couldn't look away, he was watching the man who was meeting his eye.

Breaking eye contact, he raked hands through his hair again and then looked down at the table, his heart hammering away in his chest and stomach twisting uncomfortably. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and his right leg fidgeted under the table as he stared at the half eaten apple on his plate.

It couldn't be. Severus Snape. It just couldn't. Out of everyone he knew. It had to be him?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." His head was swimming and he clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Are you alright, Harry?" Hermione spoke again and put her hand on his arm trying to rouse her friend out of whatever thoughts were going through his mind.

"Hi…" He frowned at her and she noticed the pale of his face.

"You don't look so flash. Are you feeling okay?" She asked, worrying.

"Yeah, uhm.. Yeah I'm fine." He stammered swallowed a lump in his throat.

"Here, have some coffee." She soothed, pushing a cup towards him.

The scent of roasted coffee beans invaded his nostrils and he thought about drinking it but couldn't bring himself to taste. He wasn't a massive coffee drinker anyway, he preferred that it was mixed with chocolate as it took some of the bite away. _Mmm, hot chocolate_ , he thought with a small smile. Damn, he needed to be studying today and he had planned on Charms for the morning. As he didn't have his wand that meant seeing his Head of House but suddenly, he didn't feel so confident about his ability to stay ambivalent with his thoughts.

"I have to say, you're up unusually early this morning, did you have plans?" Hermione commented, holding onto her own coffee.

"I just happened to wake up," He blushed as he remembered the bathroom stalls, "But I have to see, Professor Snape anyway so I can practice Charms and Transfiguration for the mid terms."

"That's right, he has your wand. When are you going to get it back? You must feel weird without it."

"Actually, Hermione, it's rather the opposite." He replied honestly.

It was true, there was some pressure, a force that he couldn't describe, that came with owning a wand and he felt it's disappearance lately. He certainly didn't trust himself with it and he assumed that his Professor would agree. Speaking of which, Harry glanced up at the head table once more and found that the man was still watching him closely. With a frown, Harry looked away and once again raked a hand through the unruly locks on his head.

"What happened to you the other night by the way? I'm sorry I haven't come to see how you were but Draco seemed to be sticking very close by."

Harry looked at her solemnly, he couldn't forget what happened during the week and what Slytherin had done. He felt partly proud that his house gave Gryffindor a run for their money but the blonde didn't seem to have taken well to the detentions he'd been assigned. Actually, a few Slytherin's and a lot of Gryffindor's had been issued a weeks worth of them for the outburst. He'd thanked Draco for it all but the blonde had been a typical Slytherin about things and said he hadn't done it for him. It reminded him of Professor Snape's attitude and letting his eyes wander to the front of the hall the man was still watching him.

Sagging with disbelief, Harry mouthed an angry – _what?_ – in his direction and watched the narrowed eyes pierce him with something fierce before they finally looked away.

"I just needed to get away, I ended up in the Astronomy Tower and Professor Snape found me there. I was in a very dark place." He muttered and she looked devastated.

"Oh, Harry. Please, we love you okay? You don't need to feel sad like that."

"It's not that easy, and you _know_ that. I'm working through it all, Professor Snape is helping me but at this point he wants me to focus on the mid terms before we do anything else."

"I think that's wise." Hermione smiled and patted his arm.

"Actually I should probably start, I'm so far behind in Charms." He realised and went to stand.

"Let me know if I can help. Are you going to be in the library? Or Room of Requirement?"

"Professor Snape wants to oversee my wand usage." Harry leaned down and whispered with a pained expression.

"Well he obviously cares." She smiled reassuringly but as Harry walked away, he remembered that Professor Snape was just doing his job and had been told as such.

 **. . .**

Collecting his books and bag, Harry walked into his Defence classroom and saw movement from his Professor's office. Quietly making his way through the room, he hesitated on the stairs before making himself visible in the doorway and knocked.

"Whether your words are heard or not, I do not appreciate your rudeness." Severus eyed the boy severely but said no more.

"Sorry, sir. It was getting unnerving." Harry replied quietly and averted his eyes, remembering that the man's voice was rather… seductive.

Severus turned his head in the boys direction and regarded him for a moment before turning around to pick up the wand he had been holding on to. Coming round the front of his desk, he leaned along the front of it and stood there for a moment before continuing to speak, his tone soft but his expression hard.

"Well, Potter, I had to make sure you were sane. You have not been to see me in days; not for your potion or your wand." Harry looked up at this and frowned, did he dare to think the man seemed genuinely put out that he hadn't been here?

"So, forgive me, Mr. Potter for showing _concern_ for my student." Severus let a small smirk tug at his lips as he finished and the teen looked shocked.

Harry didn't really know what to think about that, sure he hadn't been to see his Professor but he had been feeling better and their previous conversation had been rather… intimidating. He'd thought by giving things a couple of days to calm down he would be right, so why did he feel like the man was scolding him for not coming to see him? Then he noticed the smug expression and immediately felt his worries disappear, the man was playing with him but as for the reason why; only Professor Snape knew that. It certainly didn't ease the anxiety he was developing towards the man from this mornings actions.

"Sir, it might placate you to know that I've felt relatively calm since the other night." Harry started boldly but when he saw the flash of something dangerous in those dark eyes he swallowed and began losing his nerve as he continued, "And I've been feeling more alert through the – "

" _Placate_ me, Potter?" Severus stepped forward with Harry's wand in hand and invaded his space.

"I'm fine, really." Harry choked out and his breathing became deeper.

"That remains to be seen. I assume you are here for this?" Severus held up the boys wand and saw the nod, "Get yourself set up, I will be down momentarily."

Harry blinked when the man stepped back and continued what he had been doing, he felt very confused. Nevertheless he walked down into the classroom and took a seat, pulling out bits of parchment and his textbooks. It was Charms day today, that was what he believed he should focus on and he was seriously behind in it. Good thing he had a knack for this class, he seemed to be a natural which is why he'd left it so late.

When Severus made it into the classroom and placed his marking on the desk, he glanced up to the first row and found it empty. Finding the teen all the way up the back of his class, he narrowed his eyes and folded his arms.

"Potter, why – "

"I figured you'd want me to work in silence, sir. I can't do charms without speaking the incantations." Harry cut him off and sat straight in his chair, thinking he'd done well with using his initiative.

Severus was almost amused, _almost_. He nodded without saying another word and walked over to hand Harry his wand. There was hesitance in his bright green eyes when he was eyeing the wand. Severus could only imagine the thoughts that were running through his head at this moment, and that was a result of the varying expressions the boy showed him.

"Just breathe, Potter. It cannot hurt you."

"It did last time." He whispered, his hand reaching out but hovering inches away from the wood.

"I will not let it." Severus reassured and with a deep breath his student took the wand, shutting his eyes as if it were going to explode.

"Okay." Harry said, but it wasn't in response to anything, he was simply saying it to assure himself that this is what he wanted to do, his heart was beating furiously but listening to his Professor he took some calming breaths.

At this, Harry saw the man walk away and he took some time to just look at his wand. He needed to get back in tune with it, familiarise himself with it and remember above all that he was in a safe place. He couldn't fault his Head of House for confiscating it, he was pleased that it had been the result.

He worked quietly on his Charms. Mostly he stuck to the theory and furiously wrote down some study notes as he caught up with the class content. He felt very content where he was, the quiet only being disturbed by his quill and the distant scratching of his Professors.

He was hunched over his parchment, writing in deep concentration when he felt a shadow hovering over him and glancing up he saw his Professor looking down on him with folded arms. Looking towards the door and back, Harry wondered if he'd done something wrong.

"It is lunch time, Potter."

"Oh." Harry responded in surprise and looked at the parchment and books he'd spread over two tables and began packing up.

"No need. If you must continue you may do so once lunch is over." Severus had been impressed with his focus and lack of noise so had no issues inviting him back.

With a smile, Harry nodded and left his wand on the table between him and Professor Snape. The man looked at it for a moment before picking it up and pocketing it, then walked over to the door.

They both entered the hall, side by side, and Harry saw Draco sitting with Pansy looking thoroughly annoyed at her presence. When he sat down Draco's eyes lit up and he shifted slightly before leaning over and speaking directly to the Ex-Gryffindor.

"Where have you been? Pansy has been bugging me all morning."

"Aw, Draco… Don't be like that." Pansy sulked but she seemed to take it on the chin when Blaise came and joined them.

"I've been studying." Harry replied, helping himself to food.

" _All_ morning?" The blonde replied doubtfully, Harry had left the dormitory well before eight that morning.

"Yeah, why? I've been practising Charms but I have to be supervised." Harry whispered back and at this, Draco nodded his understanding.

"Must feel odd without it." The Slytherin commented but Harry shook his head, disagreeing.

"Not really." He felt a sense of déjà vu after just having this conversation with Hermione.

Speaking of which, he turned around to try and see her but felt disappointed when she wasn't in the hall. Instead he found his Defence Professor who was leaning slightly towards the Headmistress in deep discussion with her.

"What are you doing for the holidays?" Draco suddenly said once Pansy and Blaise vacated the table and Harry considered the question for a moment.

"I figured I'd be best staying here. I don't really want to spend Christmas alone in my godfather's house." He confessed, it wasn't even something that he'd thought about until now and figured that he wouldn't be welcome at the Weasely household this year.

"You?" Harry asked but Draco simply shrugged.

"Going home, it will be the first Christmas with just mother and I." He blushed a little at the half truth and looked away but Harry wasn't paying attention and nodded.

"Sounds nice." Harry replied but wasn't looking up, instead movement along the head table caught his attention and saw Professor Snape standing.

"That's my cue." He said to himself and shoved the last bite of food into his mouth, chewing quickly. "I'll catch you later." He said standing and left.

Draco frowned and leaned on the table with a sad expression, he wasn't overly excited to be studying alone. He found that Harry's presence ignited his passion to do better, they had always been competitive whether it be due to rivalry or personalities. Sighing, he stood also and with his bag, went to the only place he felt would be peaceful at this time with everyone studying for exams. The Room of Requirement.

For the afternoon, Harry busied himself with study also and felt confident in the progress he made. He worried his bottom lip as he sat back and read over his mock essay for Charms and nodded at various points believing he'd covered the correct criteria. Leaning back against the chair and rubbing his face, he realised how tired he was and let out a yawn, massaging his hand at the same time.

In this spare moment, he looked at his Professor who was also working away with, what he assumed, to be marking. There were a lot of red marks being splashed across the paper that he was reading and he remembered the many times in Potions he had received those same red marks. He smiled, almost in fond memory of that, but wiped it from his face immediately. Instead he leaned forward and rested his head between his hands and closed his eyes for a moment or two just to give his eyes a break.

In the silence, he could hear distant muttering and trying to subtly look up at the man he was correct when he saw a roll of eyes and a shake of his head. He humoured himself with that action and then looked back down again, he just wanted to rest for five minutes, then he'd get back to study.

"Mmm." Harry moaned softly but happily when something warm ran over his head, then sighed as he relaxed.

 _Hang on_ , his eyes sprung open when he felt the warmth disappear and then work through his hair again. Sitting up suddenly the hand slipped off his head and he looked up in panic at his Professor who was reading a piece of parchment with his hand writing on it. Taking a second to remember where he was, he cleared his throat and began picking up a book and various pieces of parchment, cleaning up his area.

"Sir, I'm sorry, I was only out for like five minutes maximum!" Harry tried defending his actions.

"Twenty three, actually." Severus corrected and placed the parchment he'd been reading on top of Harry's books.

"I – what?" Harry's voice was only a whisper before he felt his stomach tighten at the prospect of being told off.

"You have worked hard today, Harry. It is dinner time and I think you should stop for the night." Severus said calmly, then pointed to what he'd been reading, "That is very well written."

"Oh… thanks?" Harry frowned and the sudden compliment and then went about slowly packing away his things, rubbing his eyes out of tiredness.

"By all means, Potter, move at a glacial pace." Severus drawled, leaning against the open door.

"Sorry, sir." Harry grabbed his bag and pocketed his wand in the rush and went to walk through the door when he was pulled back by the collar.

Letting out a disgruntled choking sound, Harry found his footing and righted himself as the hand disappeared from his hoodie. When he looked to his Professor the man gave him an expectant look, his eyes moving to his pocket then back up but Harry was confused.

"Forgetting something?" Severus murmured, before letting out a sigh. "Your wand, Potter."

With widened eyes, Harry finally understood and pulled his wand before passing it over, he hadn't even realised that he still had it. With a curt nod, he was finally let go and he went to walk but stopped a few paces away from the classroom, waiting for his Professor to join him. He didn't know why he waited, but considering they had spent almost the entire day together he felt it was appropriate.

Severus was surprised, but he said no more as he locked the classroom and headed to dinner. He was impressed by the diligence Harry had shown, he had even benefitted from this himself as it forced him to mark all day. This meant tomorrow he was free to do what he pleased and there generally weren't many days in which he could do that. His thoughts were interrupted however when they were one corner away from the Great Hall and the teen spoke.

"Sir, would I be able to study tomorrow also? I need to work on Transfiguration."

With a sigh, Severus agreed. He would need to work out something that he could do whilst supervising the brat in his classroom. It was a shame he didn't have a potions laboratory in his Defence office because then he could at least been productive throughout the day.

"Thank you, sir."

The small smile he received took him off guard and when they broke off from each other, there was a light shake of his head but it wasn't out of frustration or irritation.

 **. . .**

Harry was glad he'd stopped when he did last night, thanks to his Professor, because he woke on Sunday feeling like he could easily do another day of study. He was able to sleep in this morning and Draco joined him for breakfast but something about the blonde seemed off. Not wanting to pry, they sat in silence until the mail arrived and a black owl landed in front of Harry, preening itself once the letter in its mouth was dropped beside him. A slither of fear ran through him when he thought it might be something official and he swallowed a lump before taking it in shaky hands.

Opening it carefully and reading the contents he immediately raised both eyebrows and his mouth popped open. It was an invitation to spend the Christmas break with Narcissa Malfoy and Draco. He was stunned and he looked up to see a paled expression on his friends face.

"Did you know about this?" Harry asked dumbly, still in shock.

"Of course I did." He replied, affronted. "I was the one that suggested it to mother." His tone was a little more subdued when he saw the smile on Harry's face and he was glad that he was happy.

"I'll reply this afternoon to her. It will be good to get away from here." Harry murmured, rereading the letter just in case he missed something.

"Just… don't advertise it." Draco suddenly said when Harry was about to stand, their Head of House walking towards them.

"Uh, okay?" The brunette shrugged and Draco watched as Harry disappeared with their Professor.

"Where's, Harry going?" Hermione commented, sitting in front of her Slytherin friend.

"Study session." He replied and then regarded her carefully, "With Professor Snape." He continued as an afterthought, he wasn't sure why.

"Oh, okay. Well, yes that makes sense. Hey, do you want to finish up our assignment? We don't have much to go – or I don't mind completing it." Hermione spoke faster than she normally would and Draco picked up on it but when she looked over her shoulder he figured it was because Weasely must have been nearby.

"I have time." He replied and she nodded distractedly.

"Okay, I'll meet you by the restricted section in the library in half an hour?" She offered, standing.

"Sure." Draco replied and watched her quickly walk away.

It was bad enough that he had detentions for defending his house and Professor Snape, but now Hermione was becoming distant and he couldn't shake this irritated feeling that was brewing. If he was honest, not having to deal with the disgusting red head was always good but he almost missed spending time with the Ravenclaw Witch as their assignment started to wind up.

Severus sat at his desk with a book in hand as his student sat up the back of the classroom again and was whispering his spells. It wasn't that he wasn't enjoying his novel but he would have preferred to be in his quarters, sitting in his favourite winged back with the fire crackling distantly in front of him. He didn't get many weekends free, well what he would consider, _free_ , but he had made a promise to himself that the teen would be supervised.

Angling his book down slightly, he moved his eyes just over the edge so he could carefully observe the boy. The Slytherin was concentrating hard, the light frown lines proved this. He huffed amused when Harry then stuck his tongue out and angled his head as if considering something. He wasn't sure why it was now that he decided to think about this but throughout the years he'd never really seen the teen so focussed on work. Whether it was due to his irritation towards the boy or the fact he had overlooked it due to carrying circumstances, it was refreshing to see such a studious Harry Potter.

When it reached lunch, Severus was fighting back a yawn and he put his book down in time to see Harry transfigure one of his quills into something bright pink with purple polka dots. Raising an inquisitive eyebrow, he stood silently and walked over to where the teen was, who looked rather pleased with himself. The item was still a quill but had horrendous colours.

"How distasteful, Potter." He commented, leaning against a desk in the next row.

Harry looked up and he was taken back by the glistening in his eyes. They spoke to him, reminded him of those mischievous years that caused him frustration and he narrowed his eyes in preparation of what would be said in retaliation.

"The brief was to shock or surprise, so I feel that I met the criteria." Harry smiled and went about tidying his papers up, knowing it was now lunch time.

"Indeed." Severus replied but when Harry had finished tidying his area, Severus wondered if the teen had something else he wanted to work on.

"How confident are you with your study, Potter?"

"In Transfiguration? I think I'm doing pretty well." He gave a short smile and held the quill up between them to emphasise his point. "In general though… I guess, I hope I'm keeping up."

Severus folded his arms and took a deep breath, considering his options. If the teen was doing alright, then they could arrange a time during the week for him to work on spells. This would leave him with an afternoon free to brew and relax within the privacy of his own living area. He didn't want Harry to feel like he was pushing him out, but really, he was.

"I have other arrangements after lunch this afternoon. If you are feeling confident to work on another area of study then we can arrange another time during the week."

Harry looked down at his bag with a somber expression and then nodded, putting away the rest of his books, quill and inkpot. Looking at the pink quill he had transfigured, he thought a moment before pulling his bag over a shoulder. He handed the man his wand first, then picked up the quill.

"That's fine. I need to work on my Potion's theory anyway. It's a little harder this year that I don't have your old textbook to help me through it."

Harry smiled at his stunned Professor and then decided to completely floor him by holding out the quill. His Professor simply blinked at him a few times unmoving until Harry urged him to take it with a simple motion and went to walk away.

" _What_ am I supposed to do with this, Potter?" Severus sneered at the teen who didn't look fussed in the slightest.

"Write with it, sir?" And just like that, the teen was gone and out of his classroom.

"Blasted, brat." Severus growled and stormed into his office where he dropped the quill as if it were contaminated.

 **. . .**

 _ **Heh, Snape with a pink quill *sniggers***_


	18. Chapter 18

.

 **#SarahAshlyn:**

 _ **Heh heh, of course! But just not yet. I promise we will get there.**_

 **#LittleLuna:**

 _ **That's what I thought too. I'm toying with the idea but you won't see too much in the next few chapters.**_

 **#i-am-siriusly-sherlocked:**

 _ **Love the username ^^. Sorry, no kiss yet - YET. What Snarry story wouldn't have it. Lol, patience sorry :D**_

 _ **. . .**_

Stretching happily, Harry bound out of bed and into the showers. He had a great feeling about today and was simply beaming at the prospect of classes. Exams started today but he was well prepared, he had been studying diligently for weeks now and knew that Hermione would be proud at least. Draco was getting ready when he went back into the dormitory and the teen smiled at him.

"What exam did we have this morning? I can't remember." Draco asked as they walked to breakfast, he was rummaging around in his bag for something as he spoke.

"Potions, then we have Charms." Harry replied with a grin and Draco mirrored it when he looked up.

"Are you going to do it?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I? Weasely deserves it." The brunette was grinning, he had been planning this for a few days now and it was time to get the Gryffindor back for his attacks last week.

They walked into the Great Hall and slumped down at the Slytherin table, other Slytherins joined them and they all started chatting to fill in the time. Harry helped himself to coffee, he was happy that the elves knew what he preferred and had added some chocolate to his cup.

Everything was going to plan, the hall filling with students that were concentrating on their exam material. It was perfect really, Harry thought everyone needed to relax and take things a little easier. He was feeling perfect, it was a perfect day. Nothing could go wrong.

Harry was nudged when Ron walked into the Great Hall followed by his body guards. Harry wanted to sneer at Finnegan and Cormac but he refrained and instead pulled his wand, ready for the pay back. Unable to wipe the grin off his face, Harry began and the Slytherin students who knew about it waited with baited breath.

Weasely walked past them and his trousers were tugged down, revealing a very embarassing sight indeed with his pink frilly boxer briefs with purple polka dots that Harry had quickly charmed. The hall erupted into laughter but the Slytherin wasn't done yet and applied a slippery lubricating liquid to the stone floor that the red head stepped on to and then fell over as he attempted to pull his school trousers up. He fell onto his backside and the Slytherins roared with laughter at the clumsy Gryffindor.

Draco patted Harry on the back and he was jostled with others who laughed and poked fun at the Gryffindor throughout breakfast. Oh yes, it was a perfect day.

Mucking around until their Potions theory exam, Harry and Draco were fooling around and causing a nuisance to the other students as they sauntered into the hall. Professor Slughorn was standing at the front of the room with his back to everyone and Harry shared a look with Draco before shrugging and finding their seats.

Draco leaned over and whispered to Harry, he was still on a high from causing embarassment to Gryffindor that morning and with a mischevious wink, Harry stood and waltzed over to their Professor. He grinned and looked at Draco briefly before speaking.

"Sir, why exactly do – "

The man turned around and Harry stopped talking. The temperature of the room dropped to dangerously chilling temperatures. There, standing in front of him was Voldemort. His red eyes pierced through Harry and he felt the air leave his lungs, as if he had been punched in the stomach. A crooked smile and leer, Voldemort stepped forward and loomed over him. He felt like the floor was swallowing him up but then the derranged Wizard moved his face impossibly close to his own, red eyes shone bright, until he couldn't see the face anymore.

Gasping, Harry woke and found himself hanging precariously close to the edge of his bed. His heart was racing, his body ached and his skin felt damp. With a groan, Harry rolled onto his back and looked at the canopy, not that he could see it in the darkness however. Another nightmare, another disturbing dream about the madman. He knew it was because exams were on his mind; they started now and he had been studying to the point of exhaustion. Today was going to be no exception.

With a pressing need to use the toilet, Harry wiped his face and carefully made his way to the bathroom. When he went to wash his hands, he looked into the basin feeling lost and his mind jumbled. He had a dangerous sense of dread about something to do with Voldemort, a shiver running down his spine that felt so familiar. Splashing his face with water and shaking his head in an attempt to clear his mind of these thoughts, it only took one glance in the mirror for him to scream and punch the glass suddenly.

The sound of glass shattering echoed through the silent bathroom and Harry stumbled backwards in fright, unsure of what he was seeing. Was it happening again? Was he spinning out of control? He certainly didn't feel like he was in another body and he fell to the floor, scooting backwards until his back hit the adjacent wall. Harry's breathing was shallow and quick, the anxiousness about Voldemort growing and for a moment he believed that there was a very real risk the man could come back.

A sob was a surprise to him, he didn't know he was crying until he wiped his face with his left arm. Looking at the floor, was the smeared blood off his right hand and wished he had his wand to clean this up before someone came in there and saw.

Too late.

The door swung open and a seventh year prefect he hadn't learnt the name of walked in with wide eyes, his wand poised. Harry panicked, this didn't look good and for the life of him he wanted to get out but found his legs wouldn't cooperate. When the teen vanished his panic only grew and using his left hand he ran the fingers through his hair, pulling the damp greasy strands and hitting his head back against the wall.

Moments later, Draco came rushing in, took one look at the scene and carefully walked over to where Harry was sitting. To his credit, the blonde didn't say anything and aimed his wand at the mirror, casting a _reparo_ and watching all the pieces slot back into place. Harry noticed the pulling at his knuckles and saw a couple of small shards fly out and join the rest of the mirror. Relief was temporary and Draco turned back to him looked very solemn. In that moment, the brunette didn't want to talk to his friend. No, he wanted the presence of their Head of House.

"I… I-I need, Professor Snape. Where is he? He – I need to talk to him." Harry was now shaking and he was very afraid, the anxiety had manifested into something cruel and he could feel it wrapping around his body like an oppressive blanket.

"Did you have a nightmare? A dream? We can wrap your hand and you can see Madame Pomfrey in a few hours – "

" _No!_ I have to see, Professor Snape." Harry's voice was now shaking, "He's the only one that can help me."

Draco struggled to hear the last part but he resigned that if his friend needed their Head of House, then he would take him to the man. From past experiences, he only accepted serious cases so for Harry's sake, he hoped that this was an urgent matter which needed attention. If it wasn't, well he hadn't experienced the wrath before but had heard it caused students to cry.

"You need a jumper or something." Draco commented when they walked out of the bathroom, "You're shaking."

"I'll be fine, I _need_ Professor Snape."

"So you keep saying." Draco commented simply and pushed Harry against the wall gently as he darted back into their dormitory, carrying both Slytherin robes.

"Wrap this around yourself. Let's go."

The walk was shorter than what Harry had expected as they stood outside of a plain wooden door that he'd never seen before. Actually, he'd never been down this corridor before and wondered where in Merlin's name they actually were. Draco hesitated before knocking, almost as if he was making sure this was the best course of action to take but Harry was resolute. The man had said that if he was going to do something idiotic or if something happened, he wanted to know. So here he was. He'd done something… not idiotic, but as a reflex to what he'd seen.

"This better be impor – " He paused when he saw who it was and one look at Harry Potter showed that there indeed was something wrong.

"Get in." He ordered and Draco pushed Harry inside, "Malfoy?"

"I did what he asked. There's no need for me to stay." Draco put his hands up in defense before the door was slammed in his face, making the hair covering his forehead move from the force.

Harry was standing in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around himself and looking like death warmed up. Severus frowned and moved forward, wondering if this was the result of another nightmare. The teen looked desperate, his eyes darting around the room and it wasn't because he was taking in the ambience or décor.

"Potter?" Severus stood in front of him, the wide eyes shifting to make contact with his own.

"I-I think… He's…" Harry closed his eyes and rubbed his face with both hands, he was about to pull at his hair when his right wrist was grabbed and pulled forward.

Making an undignified squawk as his body lurched at the pull, the lighting increased so it was easier to see the wound. Frowning and narrowing his eyes, Severus made a growling noise before pulling the teen towards the couch that was in front of the fire and told him to sit. He did so, quietly, before Severus walked the length of the room to a door and disappeared for a moment.

Harry could hear various pieces of glass clinking together as he focussed his gaze on the fires cooling embers. He could feel a cold sweat coming on in the cool room and it did nothing to stop the shaking in his bones. This wasn't a shiver from cold, this was a sensation that came from deep within. His attention was pulled when the couch next to him dipped and he turned his head to see the man holding a jar of something purplish. Everything now seemed to be a haze, almost like he was dreaming again and it didn't sit well with him at all.

"Harry?" Severus could see the boy's focus fading and he reached out, placing a hand on the teens cheek to rouse something other than the thousand yard stare he was receiving.

Shaking his head, Harry was able to gain focus for a moment to mutter a weak apology.

"Tell me what happened." Severus picked up the damaged hand and scooped some of the salve onto his fingers before massaging it into the cuts on Harry's knuckles.

"It was an accident, I swear." The brunette whispered, watching almost with fascination as both of his Professor's hands were massaging the crème with his thumbs.

"I am not concerned whether _this_ is purposeful or accidental. I need to know what happened. Was it a nightmare?"

Harry nodded slowly and took a deep breath.

"I saw… I think… I – " Another sob escaped Harry's lips and he quickly covered it with his free hand.

"Spit it out, Potter." Severus's voice wasn't bitter but the inarticulate response was irritating him.

"Voldemort," Severus flinched and glared at the teen for using the name but it went unnoticed, "There's no way he can come back right? He's gone?"

 _How interesting_ , Severus thought, pausing with his ministrations briefly.

"Potter, were you not there that day? Did you not see him dissintergrate in front of your eyes? In front of everyone?"

"But he came back before, he – he could do it again!" Harry's panic was back and he went to take his hand back protectively only to have it yanked back.

"Potter, I assure you he will not be returning." Severus frowned and watched the teen's eyes carefully, smoothing the crème into his knuckles.

"How did you get these cuts?" He asked, changing the subject.

"When I looked in the mirror… it was like the last time he was in my head. I saw him. I saw his eyes. My eyes were his." A tremor went through his body as he remembered and Severus felt it through the hand.

"Open your eyes, Potter." Severus ordered, and when the boy did, he looked into them closely noticing the way his Slytherin licked his lips and swallowed at the closeness.

"They are green. Just as they have been all these years." He hoped this calmed the boy.

"It surprised me and I – I punched the mirror." Harry finally got to the reason why he was cut and Severus nodded, hoping the evidence had been fixed.

Letting go of the hand, he looked at the time and inwardly groaned. There was no way he was going to get back to sleep now and looking at his Slytherin, the brunette didn't seem like he was going to either. Going to his desk in the far corner, Severus took his wand and pointed it at the fire, the flames roared into life and he watched as Harry's gaze turned to it. What was he going to do? Exams started in mere hours but the way the teen looked, he doubted he would be able to focus on anything.

He didn't have any chocolate on him just yet, actually he had intended on getting some when he was last in Hogsmede but that had ended rather abruptly and he'd never gone. _No thanks to the very brat it was for_ , he huffed and summoned a house elf for some coffee and hot chocolate. He knew full well he should be sending Harry back to Slytherin common room but he didn't trust the boy to be alone right now and oddly enough Draco hadn't seemed willing to help this time around.

Moving back to Harry, he stood in front of the teen and handed him the mug of hot chocolate warily, noticing how weak the boy seemed.

"Drink it." Severus said as if the teen needed it to be explained to him and went to sit next to him again.

They sat in silence for a while, the warmth from the fire and the warm mug seemed to calm Harry a little and he drew his legs up, his bare feet were sore from the cold stone floors. As he sipped his drink and warmed up, he suddenly came to terms with what was happening. He was in his Professor's quarters, sitting on his couch, drinking hot chocolate… and the man himself sat close by. _What am I doing?_ The question was in his head before he realised it and his eyes carefully took in the wall that the fire was on, not wanting to turn to face his Professor just yet and burst the calm bubble he'd developed in the time he'd sat there. There were a lot of books.

"What do you want from me, Potter?"

Harry blinked and closed his eyes for a moment, letting the question sink in. His Professor used the calm tone he was growing accustomed to and caused a pleasant shiver this time to work its way down his spine. What did he want from the man? He'd been so sure that he needed to see the Professor Snape that he hadn't thought about what would happen next. His hand was mended and he'd told the man what had happened. What did he need now?

"Why are you here?"

Severus rephrased the question seeing as the teen wasn't answering. Normally he would have barked out his distaste in having to wait for an answer but now was not the time, he needed to tread carefully. The whole situation needed to be treated as such really. He had a student in his rooms, and yes that student may have been the volatile Harry Potter but he had strict rules and protocols about this sort of behaviour. Only Horace seemed to be the one to be lax with these and his _dinner parties_.

"I did something reckless. You needed to know." Harry knew this was a partial lie but how did he tell the man that this, right now, is what he needed.

"You did nothing of the sort and you didn't answer my question. _Why_ are you here?" Severus took another sip of his coffee, this was the only thing that would get him through to breakfast without falling face first into his bed.

"I needed to see you."

 _There_ , Harry thought, _now you know._ The man commanded such a presence about himself that it was hard for Harry not to get swept up in it. He presented a calm atmosphere, which in the past would have been laughed at, but now it was becoming a solace for him. Did he trust this man? Explicitly. He had told him what was going on when no one else had and yes that included the war also; he didn't even beat around the bush or sugarcoat things and that was something he admired about his Professor.

Noticing the silence that followed this statement, Harry turned sideways and finally took note of his Professor, surprised to see him not wearing robes. Instead, the man was wearing what appeared to be a black tee with black pajama pants and a deep green, almost black, gown that was securely wrapped around his body. He was sitting there with one leg crossed and staring into the fire, holding his own cup in his lap. He'd never seen the man in such a state of _undress_ or casual attire before. It seemed odd.

"Yes, Potter. It is _very_ early."

Harry hadn't realised he'd been staring but when the man turned to meet his eye, he swallowed and nodded. The anxiety and fear he had been feeling prior to coming here was now gone. Well, almost gone but it was on the back burner for now and Harry was just enjoying the company. He felt safe here, he didn't feel alone.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know what else to do and it was a prefect that found me."

"Despite the fact it is tremendously early," Severus said, standing slowly, "I commend you for doing the right thing."

He looked down at the suddenly starstruck teen and scowled, looking at the time again and resigning himself to getting ready for the day. A shower was what he needed now and the boy needed to get himself ready for the day also. It was exams afterall.

"It is time you went, Potter. I am sure you have some last minute study you would like to get done. I realise it is still early but you will not be too early for breakfast once you are dressed."

Harry looked down at mug and swished the remaining liquid before chucking it back. He didn't particularly want to leave. He didn't want to go back into the common room, nor the bathroom. Everything was cold and uninviting unlike this room. His disappointment was clearly evident but Severus was drawing the line at this, the teen seemed fine now and he would not bend the rules.

"Potter. Out." He articulated and this got the teen into action.

"Sir, I – "

" _Out!_ "

Growling, Severus didn't believe he needed to tell the boy this amount of times to leave his own rooms and was about to reach forward and grab him when finally the younger Wizard moved. Following his Slytherin to the door, he opened it and watched as the calm exterior began to crumble the moment he entered the corridor.

"Get yourself cleaned up and start studying in the Great Hall. By the time you are ready I will already be there."

With the briefest of nods, the teen disappeared behind the closed door and Severus frowned to himself. He wasn't sure why he'd explained himself but he knew that if the fear returned, his midterm results could be affected. His hand still on the back of his wooden door, he let out a long sigh and rubbed his face. It was far too early for this, sure he was an early riser but not like this.

 **. . .**

Staring at his Potion's notes blankly, Harry felt very disorientated. He had been so ready for exams but now everything seemed meaningless and confusing. Grumbling and closing his eyes, he rubbed his eyes tiredly and wondered if he should smash back some coffee to keep him awake.

Professor Snape hadn't arrived in the hall yet and Harry looked at his usual place setting to pass the time. He was sitting right in front of the man at the end of Gryffindor's table but he didn't care where he was, he just wanted to make sure that he was close to his Professor.

"Merlin, Harry. You're here early this morning." Hermione commented, coming to sit in front of him, her perkiness only making him feel worse.

"Morning, 'Mione." He yawned and looked longinly at the pot of black coffee that was at the head table.

"Couldn't sleep?" She asked, getting herself ready.

"Not really."

"I'm not surprised, I only had a few hours myself. I hope they don't try and slip something in to trick us."

"Yeah." Harry replied, vaguely listening to her as he focussed on even long strides walking towards them.

He wasn't disappointed to see the black robes billowing and flicking up past him from behind as his Professor past them by and went to the head table. Turning back to his notes, he took a deep breath and read over them, praying that something would stick. However, he couldn't help but look up at the teachers table a few times and each time he hoped they'd make eye contact, alas they didn't.

"Potter, why are we at the Gryffindor table?" Draco whispered in disgust when he joined them some time later, "I see your hand is better."

"This is pointless, I can't bloody study and I'm going to fail it all." Harry swept his notes aside, a couple of pages falling to the ground beside him.

"He didn't get the best night sleep." Draco spoke up before Hermione could say anything and she looked worried.

Harry was glad no one pushed the issue and he tried, hopelessly failing, at focussing on his notes that he hadn't thrown away. Soon enough, it was exam time and Draco walked into the Great Hall with Harry in toe. Once they were settled and Professor Slughorn stood at the front of the room, undoubtedly holding a set of the exam questions, he was about to announce something when the doors opened and someone strode in.

Harry's heart skipped a beat when he saw Professor Snape walking to the front of the room, even more so when he made eye contact and Harry swallowed nervously. The man walked straight up to their Potion's Professor and was speaking in hushed tones, however the subject was clear enough when they both turned and looked straight at him. _Oh no…_ Harry wanted to be swallowed up by the stones.

Nothing more was said however and Harry focussed on what Professor Slughorn was saying before he commenced the examination. The questions were about what he expected but half way through he began to question his own knowledge and scratched his head with the end of his quill, frowning. He didn't remember learning about half of this stuff.

 _Wait… Garrotting Gas… Horn of Bicorn is in that right?_ Harry pulled his hair and grumbled before looked to the ceiling for inspiration. How was he supposed to finish off this exam? His mind was a muddle. Looking back at the question – _What is the base ingredient for Garrotting Gas?_ – He thought back to his notes… the ones that he'd left on the floor during breakfast. _Fuck_. He slumped in his chair and looked towards the stained glass window, Professor Slughorn was sitting at the desk under the window and was looking out over the students.

 _I wonder where Professor Snape is…_ Harry looked around and found the man standing behind him two rows back, leaning against the wall and arms folded. Turning back around quickly as to not be tried for cheating, Harry sighed and tapped his quill against the parchment sadly. He was going to fail this, that's for sure.

Movement from the left caught his attention and turning his head slightly, he saw his ex-Potions Professor had moved and was watching him critically. The man's eyes darted down to his parchment and then he looked at the papers he was holding, flicking over a couple of pages and reading. Harry was still watching him and received a short glare as if to say – _Potter, dithering idiot, you should know this_ – Well, yes he should know this. Bicorn Horns were commonly used in the Polyjuice Potion and made for a base in most gaseous potions. _Aha!_ Harry remembered the answer and quickly hunched over his parchment to scribble it down.

Severus watched recognition dawn and sighed softly, keeping Harry in his peripheral as he watched the other students to ensure there was no misbehaving. The Slytherin was starting to concern him, the teen had been relatively good the past few weeks leading up to his examinations, then again perhaps it was the stress of them that was causing these pains. He knew Harry had all the information, he'd had a solid base of learning for Potions for five years, surely after this length of time he'd know the difference between Erumpent and Bicorn horn.

 **. . .**

Walking out of their afternoon exam, Harry and Draco slumped down on the couches in Slytherin common room. There were many students who mirrored their expressions and to think, it was only day one of examinations.

"I'm going to be exhausted when these are done. Good thing we'll be away from school." Draco muttered, his head back against the couch and staring up at the ceiling.

"Couldn't agree more." Harry replied, mirroring his position and closing his eyes.

"Did you want to talk about what happened this morning?" The blonde offered.

Harry considered it for a moment, he hadn't ever really processed what did happen. All he really remembered what the bathroom incident and then demanding Draco take him to see their Head of House. Then of course, _that_ happened and soon after he was revising for his exams. Did he want to talk about it? Not really, not when it had something to do with Voldemort. He couldn't image what the reaction would be, expecially bringing up such a touchy subject in the presence of over a dozen of other Slytherin students.

"Best not." Harry replied softly, his eyes still closed.

Once dinner was over and done with, Harry sat up in his bed reading through his notes for the next day. He frowned down at the parchment, taking the vial that was still around his neck, he kissed it and said a small prayer, he wanted his mother to keep him safe during the night. He was already feeling anxious, he didn't know if he would be able to live with the consequences if he had another dream like he'd had that night. He wanted to believe Voldemort wouldn't come back, but could anyone really be sure?

Only time would tell.

 **. . .**

 _ ***Nervously bites nails***_


	19. Chapter 19

**.**

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **I love this! I can imagine it all too well :D**_

 _ **Anyway, I am trying to keep this story as real as possible so that's great feedback.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **To be honest, I'm a bit of a Ron hater. Like, he's a cool dude and fiercely loyal but there's just something about his character that bugs me so pink frills is what he gets, haha. I figured having Severus sitting in on the exam would have been a given, like you wouldn't just had one Professor there right? And he's been teaching Potions for quite a while. Buuuuuuut, good excuse to make sure Harry's okay XD**_

 **#CallicaXx:**

 _ **MORE is coming! :D**_

 **#Addison7413:**

 _ **Wow, thank you for your review! I'm blushing a tiny bit. I hope this chapter is up to the same standard :)**_

 **. . .**

"Okay, so the Patronus charm… Positive energy and a memory that fills you up. There are two levels to this charm, an energy mass and the corporal figure that's primary goal is to defend against Dementors."

"And what are Dementors?"

"They are the cruel entities that guard the gates of hell."

Harry gave Draco a blank look and turned the page, unamused. He was helping the blonde study for their Defence exam and they both felt over prepared for it. They were simply filling in time before it started but Harry was feeling anxious about it. He needed to get his wand off Professor Snape before he went into the exam and it would have been great to use for practice but the man had been extremely adamant he couldn't have it back.

Grumbling at his own misfortune over this, he read out the next question for Draco to repeat back to him. They were sitting in the common room and Draco was partially playing a game of chess with Blaise as they studied.

"Are you going to concentrate or not?" Harry finally huffed but Draco simply waved his hand dismissively and then took the black knight.

"Another one bites the dust!" Draco goaded to his Slytherin friend and Harry rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I'm going to see Professor Snape. I need my wand and when I get back, you'll be sorry for passing me off." Harry grumbled as he left, not before hearing a cat call from behind him, causing a growl to erupt from deep inside him out of irritation.

" _Stupid… bloody… infuriating… Slytherins_." Harry muttered to himself, making the journey through a corridor he'd only ventured down once before.

It was very dark in the dungeons tonight and the air colder than usual. Pulling his robes around tighter, he looked over his shoulder when there was a shuffle from behind. He really wished he had his wand, it was eerily creepy down here tonight and was sure that if he puffed out some air, he would see his breath.

The door to his Professor's living quarters seemed bigger than he remembered, even a darker type of wood. He must have really been out of it the last time he'd been down here. Hearing a rustle from down the hall, he quickly rapped on the door and frowned in the direction of the noise. He could hear something, something scurrying… no scratch that, it was slithering and a hiss in the air had his eyes going wide. _Damn it, Snape. Open the bloody door!_ He ranted and knocked again, not looking at the door what so ever, instead focusing on where the hissing was coming from.

"Harry Potter."

Harry's head whipped round as he saw a man, dressed in his Professor's robes but the person wearing them was _not_ Severus Snape. No, this man had discoloured skin, a bald head and was missing a nose.

"V-Volde – "

He backed up, cutting himself off in sheer shock of what he was seeing. His blood went cold, his eyes wide. The hissing became louder, it was almost deafening him as it wrapped around mind. A non-physical entity, he felt the air around him get impossibly colder and he started to shake. This was happening, it _couldn't_ happen. Voldemort wasn't back, he would have been told… wouldn't he?

Suddenly, Harry screamed out in immense pain as something bit into his left forearm. The pain radiated from his arm and entire body, making his head light and legs weakened. He was falling, falling without ground to land on… it was darkness all around him. It wrapped around him like an oppressive blanket and the air was only filled with the sound of a deranged laugh. No, it wasn't a laugh, it was a sickening noise that made even the happiest person alive shrivel to nothing. There was no love, no light… No life.

"No!" Harry yelled, his eyes springing open as he rolled out of bed and hit the hard floor.

Sweat was pouring down his face, back… everything. Another dream, no this had to be a vision. Voldemort knew that Professor Snape had been a spy and now he was going to die again. _But what if it wasn't?_ He remembered what Hermione had said when they'd taken Sirius. What if he was planting this image in his head?

"Shit." He swore, standing haphazardly and grabbing his Slytherin robe, fumbling in the dark.

He needed to warn someone, he needed to make sure his Professor was safe and that Voldemort couldn't get to him. He needed to speak with Hermione, and he needed to do it now. It was going to be long trek up to Ravenclaw tower but he had to do it – he couldn't tell Draco about this.

Running through the castle as if he was being chased by Voldemort at that moment, Harry ran up the many stairs and took several turns until he came to a large door that held a singular knocker. He wouldn't be granted entry looking like this, Hermione needed to come out and get him. It was going to be the only way.

 _Shit, I don't have my wand_ , he stomped his foot. The only way he was going to be able to pull this off was by casting a Patronus message to her but he didn't even have his wand back yet. Looking around the hall, he wondered if he could sneak into the Defense classroom and get it. His wandless magic had improved but it wasn't the best, if the man used a simple locking charm he would be fine, right?

Decision made and his breathing ragged from running, he desperately made it down to the classroom and tried the door. _Damn, it_ is _locked_. Well of course it would be, he remembered seeing the man lock it every time he'd been there studying and they'd left. _Okay, concentrate._ He gathered his energy, his magic together and pressed it towards the door. _Alohamora. Alohamora. The unlocking charm. Alohamora._ It wasn't working.

What else did he know? There was always his favourite charm to blow things up but no,that would be too obvious and rather excessive. _Portaberto. It would melt the lock enough to open it hopefully. Portaberto._ He focused on the wand movements required as if he were holding it in his hand. _Concentrate, Harry._ He focused all his energy into releasing the spell and imagined the lock incinerating. _Portaberto._ The lock glowed for a moment before it jutted inwards and smoke started to seep from within the metal lock. Success.

Slipping inside the classroom, he ran towards the man's office where the next issue made itself present. Another door. Presumably locked. What ex-spy wouldn't have locked it also? Except this one wasn't. _You're slipping Snape_ , Harry smirked to himself conspiringly, entering the office and immediately felt like he shouldn't be there. His body tingled for a moment before he made a beeline for his invisibility cloak where the man usually put his wand but it wasn't there.

"Fuck." Harry muttered and turned his attention to the large desk that commanded its presence in the room.

He rummaged through papers and books before turning his attention to the drawers. _Success!_ Harry grinned when he found it in the top draw amongst inkpots and quills, including the pink charmed quill he'd given the man a little over a week ago.

A light from inside the classroom and steps made him freeze, of course Professor Snape had his classroom charmed to alert for intruders and he'd obviously been there for longer than he should. _Shit, shit, shit_. Grabbing his invisibility cloak, Harry moved effortlessly across the office and crouched by the door, his wand secured in his palm tightly. A sudden chill ran through his spine, what if it wasn't Professor Snape… Could it have been possible for Voldemort at this point?

"Show yourself. I know you are here." Harry's heart beat dangerously loud in his chest and took a quiet deep breath in case the man could hear it.

Seeing the office door open must have caught the man's attention and soon it was being pushed open and a figure wearing black clothing stepped inside. Waiting with baited breath, Harry bit his lip and waiting for the older Wizard to walk inside a little more so he could slip past. He needed to breathe, his heart was racing to the point he was almost panting. He watched the man's face, it was how it should look but there was doubt worming its way into the back of his mind. Voldemort's signature curses were Unforgiveables such as the _Imperios_.

Finally, _finally_ the man moved inside with a frown but his wand was still poised. This was his chance. He could escape but it had to be impossibly quiet, not an easy task for someone who had a tendency to be quite clumsy.

His Professor walked further into his office, frowning at the papers on his desk and taking another look around the room. Harry took that as his chance when Professor Snape was behind his desk, tiptoeing from the room under his cloak. He didn't even let out a breath until he was half way across the classroom and bolted for the open door.

He didn't care if he was heard now; he was out in the corridor and his footfalls echoed off the stone walls. He was aware of a slamming door somewhere behind him but he ducked into another corridor. He took the cloak off as he ran, there was no use for it now, even as he skidded to a stop outside Ravenclaw tower.

 _Okay, Harry. Happy memories, use anything… Parents… Friends… Flying. Anything._

Closing his eyes and calming his breaths he lifted his wand and muttered the correct incantation. He thought of the only thing that came to mind first – Professor Snape. More specifically, his presence, his warmth… A body against his. A pleasant feeling filled him within and letting a smile form on his lips he uttered the incantation softly, revealing a soft blue light that bubbled and formed in front of him.

Just as it disappeared through the door, he saw the development of a snakes tail and with wide eyes he realised he'd done it. He hadn't needed any assistance, finally when it counted… it worked! He was elated and he used that feeling to further fuel his Patronus. Hermione had to get it, she had to get out here and see him. He didn't know what else he could do.

"Come on, Hermione." He muttered, holding the cloak tightly and wrapping his Slytherin one around himself tightly.

There was a quiet – _ouch_ – that sounded through the door before it was slowly pushed open and a very sleepy looking Hermione walked out into the dark corridor, rubbing her eyes.

"Harry?" She croaked out, frowning at him through tired eyes.

"Hermione, you have to help me. He's back. Voldemort, I think he's really back. I had a – I think I had a vision." Harry was already worked up by this point, so his voice came out as several pants.

"What?" She gave him a pained expression before pulling him closer to the door, not wanting to let it close.

" _Voldemort_ , he's back."

"No, no I heard you the first time. Are you sure you aren't dreaming right now?"

"Hermione, please you have to help me. Professor Snape is in danger. He's going to try and kill him!"

"Okay, just lower your voice." She looked down the hall and pulled him closer again until they were standing inside the Ravenclaw common room.

"Wha – "

"No, Harry you need to listen to me right now." Her voice was calm and a little confused as she took his hand and went into the moonlit area so she could properly see his face.

"Harry, I think you're dreaming. The Dark Lord is _not_ back, he can't return. Remember, we spent the past year hunting his Horcruxes? You were the last one, he's gone." She took in the scared expression on her friends face and let her own soften.

She watched as something began to tick over in his mind and she waited patiently for him mind to completely return. Harry had been so sure, he'd seen Voldemort as Professor Snape, it was a warning.

"You're safe, Harry." She reached out and wiped away a fresh tear that was slipping down his cheek.

It seemed to draw Harry back to the present and he wiped the other side of his face with his sleeve wondering when he'd started crying and _why_ he was crying. He needed to warn someone that –

"I can see that mind working, Harry. How can I reassure you that he's not coming back? Surely, _someone_ would have known about it by now – and no not necessarily you. The last and largely unintentional horcrux was you, Harry. If he were to come back then you'd still have the scar, still have something tying you to him." Hermione put both hands on his shoulders but suddenly covered his mouth when he was about to rebut.

"No, please, Harry. Please believe me. You are completely safe – _Professor Snape_ is completely safe." She repeated and pleaded, then they both went quiet for a moment.

"Oh, shit… What have I done?" Harry's face turned into horror and Hermione brought him over to the fire where it was crackling away still.

"What do you mean? What _have_ you done?" Hermione ran her fingers through his fringe and parted it away from his eyes.

"I, uh… Well, this…" He held his wand up and place it on the floor between them, his invisibility cloak pooling at his knees, "And my cloak..."

"Wait, Professor Snape had th – Oh my gosh, Harry did you _break_ into his office?" She gasped but looked around, remembered where they were.

"He'll kill me."

"No, I'm sure you'll be fine. We'll explain what happened, okay? He can't be angry at you for this?"

"I burnt the lock on his door."

"Wandlessly?" Her eyes went impossibly wider when he nodded.

"Wow, Harry. That takes a lot of strength." There was a tiny bit of pride in her voice but it didn't ease the anxiety he was feeling in his stomach.

"What do I do? I… Professor Snape is probably hunting my head right now? He'll know what's gone. He nearly caught me."

"Relax, I know it's hard but you need to remember what's going on with you at the moment – and I'm not meaning that as a weakness, okay? Didn't you have a nightmare similar to this a few nights before? I _know_ it's because you're stressed about exams. We all have these moments."

"Like breaking into a Professor's office? It just _had_ to be his, didn't it?"

"Well, not that I'm condoning breaking into an office at all, but yes, you could have chosen another one." She let a small smile appear and reached forward to give him an awkward side hug.

"Hermione, I don't want to be alone." Harry's voice was muffled by her hair but he didn't want to let her go.

"You're never alone, Harry. Never." Hermione rubbed his back gently and went to pull away only to find she couldn't.

"I feel it." At this he moved back and looked down at his hands, the helplessness taking over the rational part of his brain.

"What do you want to do? You can't stay here, someone will notice."

"Please? Just for tonight? I'll… I can wear your Ravenclaw cloak? No one will know."

"They'll know; you're Harry Potter. It will be noticed, but… It's very late still." She cast a _tempus_ on her wrist, showing it was just past midnight.

"Stay here, I'll be back." She whispered, standing and disappeared up some stairs.

He took that time to have a quick look around the common room and frowned at how calm it all felt. This felt nothing like the Slytherin or even Gryffindor living areas and the blue felt very peaceful. He couldn't see much due to the darkness, but the parts that were lit by the moon certainly made him feel welcomed. Hearing footsteps, he ducked by the couch and stayed there until Hermione came into view, the last thing he needed was to be caught at this hour.

"Here." She had brought two thick blankets down with her and two pillows, placing them on the couch.

"You can sleep on the couch but we need to be up early to avoid the traffic." She whispered, looking over her shoulder at the stairs before sitting at one end of the couch.

"You're staying down here?" There was too much hope ringing in Harry's voice for Hermione to have decided against it and nodded.

"You'll not be alone, Harry." She gave him a sad smile and brought him in for a quick hug, "Try and get some sleep."

"Hermione, tha – "

"What are friends for?" She smiled through a yawn and bunkered down at one end whilst Harry did the same at the other.

It wasn't the most comfy of positions and the couch was only a two seater so he did the only thing that came to mind and slipped off the couch onto the floor. Fluffing up the pillow she'd given him, she was about to question him when he told her not to worry and pulled her ankles so she was laid out.

"If you're going to help me, the least I can do is make sure you're comfortable."

Rolling onto his back and looking at the ceiling, he was surprised to see a twinkling nights sky. A gentle tug at his lips was all the indication he was willing to give for a smile at this before he took a deep breath and tried not to think about the repercussions of what would be happening in the morning. Professor Snape was going to murder him.

 **. . .**

"Put the cloak on." Hermione whispered, pushing Harry against the wall, "No – don't, just do it." She hissed, looking around the torch pillar when she saw the Headmistress speaking with the very man they were attempting to avoid.

"It is a gross breach of privacy, Minerva."

"Yes, Severus I agree. However, until we find out who the culprit – "

"Harry bloody Potter." He muttered and sneered at her when she gave him a hard look.

"Until we have _spoken_ to him, Severus, I would just let the matter be. Have you seen him this morning?"

"He was not in bed. Gallivanting off around the castle no doubt for the night. Merlin, he may be lying in a pool of his own blood."

"Severus, please keep your voice down. Has he not been making good progress?"

"Until a couple of days ago. Yes."

"Something I need to know?" Minerva folded her arms and Severus was about to reply when he spotted a familiar Ravenclaw girl acting a little too suspiciously in the morning.

"Just zip it." Hermione said, talking into the open pages of her book as they turned towards the Great Hall.

"Miss. Granger." Severus greeted with a cold voice and Hermione pretended to be so engrossed in her book that she simply smiled as she walked past with a nod.

"Sir. Headmistress." She replied and kept walking, much to Severus's irritation.

"Severus." Minerva raised an eyebrow towards him and then shooed him towards the hall. "We can discuss this later."

Harry was hiding behind the pillar still and had stuck his head out to watch the scene, his heart hammering away in his chest. Out of all the times this could be happening and it just has to be in the middle of their mid term exams. He felt awful, his stomach twisting and warping in the most unpleasant of ways.

Hermione let out a breath once the two adults were out of ear shot and closed her book before turning into the Great Hall for breakfast. Immediately she was attacked by black and green robes that pulled her out of the door way and to the side. Draco Malfoy didn't look impressed and his cheeks were lightly flushed.

"Have _you_ seen him?"

"Seen who?" She replied, glancing over her shoulder.

"Potter! Professor Snape almost blasted our dormitory door off this morning looking for him."

 _Oh dear,_ she thought.

"Uhm, no. Haven't seen Harry Potter. Don't know what you're talking about." She smiled and then turned to walk away.

"Bull." He grabbed her arm again and pulled her back.

"Look, now's not really the time." She glared and took her arm back, "We have exams starting in an hour and I'd like some breakfast.

Turning around in one fluid motion she collided with their Defence Professor and let out a squeak as he caught her, rather undignified.

"Sir, I am _so_ sorry." She looked up at him with wide eyes before righting herself and disappearing out of the hall.

"Oh my word." She whispered, now not having gotten anything to eat, it looked like it would be a trip down to the kitchens as she passed the Headmistress.

"Harry?" She whispered to thin air and he took the cloak off his head, looking at her in a panic. "I know, I'm sorry… Should we be telling Professor McGonagall? She would be able to help you."

"Last time she got in my therapist and look how well that turned out."

"Gah, Harry why are you so frustrating? Of all the bloody offices you could have broken into…" She ran her hand over her face and looked at him sadly.

"I don't know what more we can do." She took a deep breath and looked around them. "No, we're making this a bigger deal than it needs to be." She nodded and pulled him with her.

"Wait, where are you – "

"Professor McGonagall?" The Ravenclaw called down the corridor just before she entered the hall.

Minerva turned in the direction of the voice and saw a half visible Harry Potter and a flustered Hermione Granger walking towards her. Inwardly groaning and muttering about every single prior experience she'd had with two of the three trio, she knew this had something to do with the office break in her colleague was stewing over.

"Good morning, Miss. Granger. Is everything all right?"

"I think you know it isn't… Right, Harry?" Hermione gave him a stern glance and he had the good grace to look to the floor.

"Why am I not surprised?" Minerva gave them both a tired expression and let her hands clasp in front of her casually.

"It's not what it appears, Professor. Please, this needs to get sorted." Hermione took the cloak off Harry fully and handed it to the Headmistress.

"Your wand, Harry." Hermione continued and held out her hand.

Handing it over to the Headmistress, who looked utterly confused, Hermione explained that this was what their Defence Professor would be missing.

"Perhaps we better discuss this in my office." Minerva offered, and escorted them both up the stairs.

Once they were all gathered inside the office, Minerva faced them, placing the cloak and Harry's wand on the round table beside her.

"Explain."

"Well, Headmistress, Harry – " The Ravenclaw stopped when she was given a customary glare with pursed lips, "You should… probably tell her…" She whispered to her friend and he nodded, not taking his eyes off the floor.

"I believe, Voldemort is back." Harry's voice was toneless and Hermione rolled her eyes at the sentence.

"Excuse me?"

"I… I had a vision last night and Professor Snape – " He cut himself off at this and dropped his shoulders, tears forming in his eyes.

"Oh, Harry. Hush, we went through this last night okay?"

"Last night, Miss Granger?"

"Uh…" Hermione had the right to look guilty and pulled away from the hug she'd given Harry.

"It's not Hermione's fault, Professor. I thought…" He wiped a tear at his pause. "I had another nightmare about Voldemort." Harry sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve, thankful they had gone via the dungeons so he could get changed into his school robes.

"Harry, come and sit." Minerva felt her heart go out to the teen and ushered the Ravenclaw with them.

"Did this nightmare have something to do with breaking into Professor Snape's office?"

"Yes, Professor. I… _Shit_." He groaned.

"Language, please, Potter."

"Harry came to me, he needed his wand for that, to get me from Ravenclaw tower. I figured he usually goes to Professor Snape with this but it involved him. Professor Dumbledore, do you remember in our fifth year at the Ministry?" The younger Witch glanced up at the grey Wizard sitting precariously in his frame.

"Indeed, I do, Hermione."

"Those visions?"

"Oh dear." Albus stroked his beard and Minerva looked between them all, having a fair idea of what was being spoken about.

"I don't know if I can face, Professor Snape."

"Harry, my dear boy, none of this is real. Do you understand?"

"But what if he comes back, what if after all of this, he finds a way to – I don't know – _resurrect?_ " Harry felt fresh tears forming and let out a sob; Hermione was quick to wrap an arm around his shoulder.

"Leave Professor Snape to me, Potter. I will speak with him this morning whilst exams are in session. It seemed to me that everything was going well between the two of you. Is there anything that would assume otherwise?" Minerva leaned forward in her chair and gave him a sympathetic look.

"No, Professor… Just this one thing." Harry said, his eyes not leaving the twisting fingers in his lap.

"Very well. I shouldn't make allowances for this kind of thing but… Harry I _do_ worry about you. This has been hard on everyone but I think you've worn the brunt of everything. I am not angry with you, please remember this; but I must insist you recognize the seriousness of your actions last night. For the most part, you seem genuinely upset about the events that transpired so, yes, I will deal with your Head of House whilst _you two_ prepare for the examinations."

Harry didn't know what to say, he was speechless at the leniency he was being shown. Even Hermione seemed surprised by the generosity but stood eagerly, gathering Harry up as she did.

"Professor, thank you." Hermione said softly and received a nod before she directed Harry towards the door.

"But, Potter? When exams are over I expect you to be talking about this with someone."

When the wood shut with a soft click, Minerva slumped down in her chair and rubbed her temples. Albus was speaking to her about the situation but she waved him off, trying to decide what she should do next. Harry had broken half a dozen school rules if the implied notion was that he spent last night in Ravenclaw tower, not forgetting the breaking and entering, stolen property – regardless of the fact it was his to begin with – and destruction to school property.

"How on earth did he manage to melt Severus's door without a wand?" Albus muttered in his frame, _this_ Minerva _did_ take note of and nodded her perplexity before finally making her way to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Severus was sitting at the head table when she arrived and he was boring holes into the back of Harry's head as he sat at the Slytherin table, picking at his food. He had a good right to storm over there and pick the student up, throwing him over his shoulder and showing him how terrible he could be… but refrained. The Headmistress was making her way over and he had a few choices words for her too.

"I do not want to hear it right now, Severus. Please let me at least have some tea before you start bombarding me again."

"Headmistress, this is a serious – "

"Severus, be quiet or so help me I will spell your mouth shut." She finally snapped and his mouth popped open.

 _Dare I continue?_ Severus wondered, rather shocked, but remained silent. Something had obviously happened in between the moment he'd had with her before. He had thought she was right behind him heading to breakfast but perhaps _someone_ had done the right thing and spoken up.

He continued to drill Harry with hard eyes, on further inspection of his office he noticed that the boy's wand and invisibility cloak had disappeared. He wanted to believe Harry had changed, that he wasn't that same arrogant brat that he'd had to battle each previous year but with actions like this is was difficult to see past it.

"I can feel him staring."

"Just ignore him." Hermione whispered, looking back at the head table to indeed see their Professor glaring in their direction.

"What did you do, Potter?" Draco asked, his voice not quite hissing but something in between curiousness and a sneer.

"I broke into Professor Snape's office. But it's not what you think." Harry tried to reassure his housemate but the blonde seemed skeptical.

"We'll get it sorted, now, we have Transfiguration this morning, then Defence. Want to go over your notes one last time?" Hermione offered, to both of them, and Harry closed his eyes when he had the dreadful sense of foreboding.

 **. . .**

"Please take a seat, Severus. I'll make this prompt." Minerva offered him some tea, which he refused and sat in front of her desk.

"Harry was in a state this morning, my boy." Albus commented from his frame and Minerva shot him a glare.

"Potter was here this morning? And?"

"Severus… he is a very sick child."

At this, Severus paled and let his head fall back as he pinched the bridge of his nose. What had the blasted boy done now apart from breaking the school rules?

"It is my understanding that you know of his _visions_ of the Dark Lord's return?" Severus outwardly groaned, his composure gone as he nodded.

Minerva had never been made privy to the true extent of what Harry had been put through with the Dark Lord. How he was able to dissect the teen's mind and put images into his head. Only Albus and himself were aware of the Occlumency lessons, which was a direct result of having the pink disaster, Dolores Umbridge, snooping around with veratiserum and they didn't want their plans foiled or exposed.

"He came to me a couple of mornings prior, I put this anxiety over the Dark Lord down to his stress towards examinations. He has been working extremely hard and I have no doubt it has finally caught up with him. What made last night's one different?"

"It was about you." She replied plainly and at his surprised expression, she continued with a sigh. "Look, Severus we shouldn't chat too deeply about this. I am trusting that you are making progress with, Harry. Whilst he needs to be reminded of the consequences for his actions, perhaps a softer approach to this would be welcomed."

Severus sneered at the implied actions he would have taken but inside, he knew what she was referring to. The anger he had experienced mere moments ago faded, not completely, but enough for him not to be grumbling. Harry was indeed a sick teen, but how he was going to worm this out of the boy, would take some thinking.

 **. . .**

 _ **Phew… Intense much?**_


	20. Chapter 20

.

Harry stretched the knots out of his back as he and Draco walked out of their last exam. Midterms had been rough, well rougher for Harry, but he'd gotten through them with only one more nightmare about Voldemort. This time, he'd managed to calm himself with a shower and getting back into bed.

Making it into the common room, they both slumped down onto the couch and let their heads rest against the back of it, staring at the ceiling. There was relief, acceptance and peace that flooded Harry's system as they sat in silence. The comradery was nice, even though they didn't talk much about what was bothering them.

"Has Professor Snape caught up with you yet?" Draco asked softly, not taking his eyes off the ceiling.

"No, but I won't be surprised if he catches me tomorrow before we leave for break. He promised to give me back my wand." Harry replied, then took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

"Yeah." The blonde said, almost to himself.

"I might go to bed." Harry said suddenly, he was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to shower and slip between his sheets.

"A bit early, isn't it, Mr. Potter?"

A painful chill ran down Harry's spine at the deep voice which commanded attention of the room even though it was spoken quietly. Closing his eyes and turning back towards where the voice had come from, he saw their Head of House standing there with an expectant expression.

"Yes, sir. I suppose it is." Harry knew a summons when he heard one and let his shoulders sag.

"Good. You and I need to have a chat." Severus raised an eye brow and turned sideways, extending his arm to the direction of the entrance.

Nodding, and resigning himself to a fateful end to his night, he walked towards the man and followed him out. Holding his breath for most of the way up towards his Defence classroom, he thought about all the ways he might be dissected and tortured. Even though Professor Snape wasn't their Potion's Professor anymore, he could bet a lot of money on the idea that the man still brewed in his spare time. Brewing those potions that he probably shouldn't have in the school, with ingredients that were most likely illegal.

They walked in silence and only when they stood in front of the classroom door did his Professor regard Harry in any way. With his wand, he pointed at the lock and then gave his Slytherin a sly face before continuing into the room.

"If someone had told me, Potter, that the lock had been _wandlessly_ broken… I would not have believed them." Harry frowned, anxiety growing and stomach twisting.

"Sit."

Harry sat in the front row where a piece of parchment sat with a self-inking quill and he swallowed a lump in his throat. Lines, he was going to be made to write lines – no wait, there was something written at the top of the parchment. But before he could read it, his Professor leaned against the front side of his own desk with arms folded, clearing his throat.

"As I see it, Potter, you have two options." Harry gave the man a plain look remembering the last time he was given options and Severus internally smirked.

"In front of you there is a piece of parchment. Along the top – please read it – is your assignment and once completed you may go. Or, option two is that we discuss objectively what transpired the other night and what led you to think it was perfectly normal to _break into_ my office."

Harry didn't need to know if there was an option three this time and peered at the parchment in front of him reading the title – _I broke into Professor Snape's office because…_ – The writing trailed off and Harry sighed.

"You have two minutes to make your decision." Severus continued, looking down at the Slytherin with a pointed gaze but the boy was inspecting the parchment.

Harry dropped his shoulders and slouched forward in his seat. _How bad will it be?_ He thought. _It's not like he seems outwardly upset at you… He has a right to cut off your balls but he hasn't. Should I? Do I dare?_ He warred with himself and tossed up his options. If all else failed, he wouldn't be allowed to stay at Draco's over Christmas and would be given two weeks worth of detentions. It was highly possible, but after chatting to Hermione about it, he decided that he needed to own up to his actions. Whether he was in a daze or not, he had broken the school rules and Professor Snape was offering to talk about it.

"Time is up."

Harry looked up at his Professor feeling determined, but it didn't let it show, and took the parchment in his hands. He noticed the way the man narrowed his eyes, it was clearly in disappointment, but the moment he crunched the paper between his two hands into a ball and set it aside, the expression changed into something else. Something deeper and lighter.

"Very well. Follow me." Severus nodded and walked into his office.

Harry shut the door quietly behind him and was about to take a seat when his robes were grabbed from the front and he was brought anxiously close to his Professor's body. The movement took him by surprise and he let out a soft moan before he looked up into black eyes, eyes that seemed to be searching for something.

" _What_ , in Merlin's name, possessed you to break into my office instead of coming to speak with me? You, _insolent_ and _pathetic_ piece of – "

"Sir, I'm sorry! I was afraid and he was you – _you were him_ \- I thought he was back, please, please you have to believe me!" Harry's voice was incredibly desperate but he had been taken by surprise and actually, weren't they supposed to be talking about this like adults?

Severus let the boy go gently, but didn't move away.

"It started like a… like some weirdly positive situation. I was studying with Draco but then things changed and I was coming to see you for my wand. But you weren't you. Vold – "

" _Don't._ " Severus glared and Harry took that time to inhale slowly.

"He looked like you but not the face. Not the eyes…" Harry shivered and looked down between them, hardly able to see his shoes because the older Wizard's black robes distorted the image.

"Nagini bit my arm, well I assume it was Nagini." Harry sighed, his shoulders tense as he retold the events that led to his episode.

Severus reigned in his own temper for now, he had gotten the real reason for what happened and placed a reassuring hand on Harry's shoulder which relaxed. He could imagine how the teen must have felt but that did not excuse him from what had happened. The dreams, nightmares and visions were all normal and in Severus's case, all too familiar so when it all boiled down he didn't feel anger, rather an understanding.

"I was so sure you were in danger, sir. But… now that I think about it, I really messed up."

"Indeed." Severus decided to take pity on the teen.

"Sir, I'm really sorry. Can you… the lock can it be fixed?"

" _Portaberto_ , am I right?"

"Yes, sir."

"Hmm. It can be repaired. Sit." Severus moved his hand and it slid up towards Harry's neck as he motioned for the teen to turn around before going to his desk.

"I must say, Potter, to have done that wandlessly, I am almost impressed." Harry's head shot up and in surprise. " _Almost._ " Severus emphasised and understanding dawned on the teen's face.

"I was able to cast my Patronus too. Once, I – you know – had… my wand."

"That is pleasing to hear, Harry. I know you were having issues but to have moved past them is pleasant news." Severus sat back in his chair with a mildly pleased expression.

Harry didn't want to inform him that it was because of his Professor that he'd been able to cast it. Even at the thought of it he blushed and ducked his head so his bangs hung dramatically over his face. He was aware of a brief rustling sound but he didn't dare look up.

"Here." Severus pulled out Harry's wand and left it on the edge of his desk.

Taking it back, Harry ran it through his fingers and smiled at finally taking possession back of his wand. It was good to hold it and know that he hadn't stolen it or would be needing to give it back when he left.

"I am unaware of your plans for the Christmas break, however I will not be in the castle. I am trusting you with this, Potter. If you so much as cut yourself shaving I want to know about it. If I see you at the welcoming feast and you are cut in some way, there will be consequences."

"I won't be here either, sir. And I won't… hurt myself."

"Forgive me for not believing you, Potter. Who knows what would have happened if you'd had possession of your wand in these past few days."

"Sir, I wouldn't have."

Severus narrowed his eyes but nodded slowly regardless. Speaking of cuts, he let his eyes wander to the brunettes arms considering whether any progress had been with coming to terms with the scars. He could ask the teen now, but did he want to set things up for the Christmas break like that? He had no doubt Harry would be spending it with the Weasely family, Granger included. Perhaps he could ask… There was no harm in that, no?

"Potter, if I may ask… It will either be now or when you return from break, however are you coping with those cuts?" He stood at this and went to sit in the other chair in front of his desk, pointing at Harry's arms.

"Which part, sir? Both arms or my left forearm?" Harry looked at the man warily, not wanting to delve into this right now.

"Which ever you prefer to discuss."

"That would be neither."

"You have not dealt with them at all then?" It wasn't really a question and Harry knew it.

"No, sir." He rubbed his thighs with the cuffs of his sleeves and hid his hands.

Severus sighed and raised an eyebrow at the boys actions, he wouldn't discuss this now. They could wait until school resumed and by then hopefully they could get into the harder areas of Harry's recovery.

"Very well, we will leave it for now. However, I expect you to think about this over the break and come back prepared to uncover the issues."

"I still can't take the bandage off." Harry replied suddenly, and Severus cocked his head, not clear on what Harry was meaning. "This one." He continued and pointed to his left forearm.

"That is not healthy, Potter. You need to let the skin _and scars_ breath."

"I know… but I can't bring myself to look."

"Then this will be the first thing we cover when you come back. I will not take up any more of your time, Potter. I am sure your presence is being missed."

"You know what they are?" Harry asked timidly, standing when his Professor did.

"I do." Severus replied with a sigh, quickly running a hand through Harry's hair before turning back towards his desk.

The move took Harry off guard and when the warmth left his head, he replaced it with his own hand. He was watching Professor Snape walking back behind his desk and when they made eye contact something in the room shifted, the aura or energy. Harry made a small gasp at it and then blushed, awkwardly turning to leave.

Severus was watching, blinking with surprise and felt the change. It was electric. Taking a deep calming breath, he was about to wish the boy happy holidays but then he was gone. Disappearing out of the door at lightning speed.

 _Odd._

 **. . .**

At the end of term feast, Harry was sitting in companionable silence with Draco, picking at his food and periodically stealing glances at his Head of House, then he sighed.

"I won't allow you to mope about when you're at home with me." Draco whispered.

"I'll try not to." Harry muttered back.

"Good, so you can stop pushing the food around your plate and eat something. What did Professor Snape want? You've been weird ever since."

Draco's voice remained low, and for good reason, he didn't feel that Harry wanted things out in the open for everyone to hear. For that, the brunette was grateful. But what did he say to Draco? Something weird _did_ happen but he was sure that it was imaginary. He still felt guilty about his wank in the shower to the image of his Head of House, even if it was unintentional at the time. He couldn't work out why it felt odd, was he growing some form of feelings for this… this _sour_ and _angry_ man, or was it more a friendship and he was just coming to terms with how things had changed? The break would be a good time to work that out because he didn't want to come back into the new school term and have these unresolved weird feelings circulating and he be caught off guard.

 _Like before for example_ , he thought and raised his hand to run it through his hair.

"We just talked about what we were doing over break – well not that, just what I had to think about over that time." Draco's heart leaped into his chest in between Harry's statement but calmed immediately.

"Speaking of weird, what's that look for?" Harry frowned.

"Nothing." The reply was far too quick not to be forced but the brunette didn't push it.

When dinner was done, Harry and Draco were heading out when Harry heard his name being called. Turning, Ron was catching up to him with Hermione very closely behind and there was a growl from the blonde beside him.

"I've got this." Harry reassured, but Draco wasn't budging.

"Harry." Ron said by way of greeting.

"Ron." Harry replied, things feeling tense.

"Draco. Now we have introductions out of the way, what do you want?" Draco sniffed, folding his arms but Harry gave him a side on glare.

"Put that ferret on a leash whilst we talk, will you." Ron snapped, looking at the blonde.

"Ron, don't say that." Hermione said, coming forward and putting a hand on his arm.

Ron grumbled and pulled his arm free from Hermione, glaring at the blonde Slytherin before looking to Harry expectantly.

"So, are you coming to the Burrow for Christmas? Mum is quite keen to see you again, and Ginny hasn't stopped asking about you in her owls." Ron's voice was tense, even as he spoke and Harry had to step in front of Draco so he could look his friend in the eye.

"He's staying with me, Weasel. Good riddance too." Draco had his hands on Harry's hips, pushing him out of the way gently and standing right in Ron's face.

"Was I asking you, asshole?" Ron barked.

"Look, both of you just stop it!" Hermione cried and Harry had to agree, this was getting them no where.

"Draco, go back to the common room. I'll meet you back there." Harry was holding his shoulders and tried turning him in the direction of the dungeons.

"If he so much as lays a hand on – "

"I'll be sure to hex him _with my wand_." Harry hissed in a dangerously low voice.

Hermione looked between everyone and then slipped away from her two friends, walking into the entrance hall. She gave a hesitant look at Draco before he disappeared around the corner, she justified her actions as making sure there wasn't another blow out like the other week. It was good to see that Harry had a fierce friend in Slytherin. Even if that friend happened to be Draco Malfoy, but she would be lying to herself if she didn't think he had matured with the rest of them. _Although, Ron…_ She looked back at her two friends and sighed, Ron was making this more difficult than it needed to be and they'd blocked the doorway.

"Would you two just find somewhere else to do this?" She said, coming to take Ron's hand and pulling them to the side.

"So, that's it then?" Ron asked, "You're just going to forget about us and everything we did for you and spend it with that blonde bimbo!"

"I didn't want to say this, Ron but he's been a better friend to me this year than you have been. You go about thinking that friends can only remain within your house, well look at Hermione. You're dating a girl in Ravenclaw, and you treat her like shit!"

"Harry…" Hermione tried to interject.

"Your _best friend_ is a Slytherin and the best you can do is insult me, goad my house mates and be a general bastard. We went through so much together and all you're worried about is bloody inter-house rivalries. Draco was able to man up and move on, and _that's_ saying something! We were natural enemies from the day we were both born."

"Look just - "

"No, Ron. You listen to _me_! End this stupid perception you have of Slytherin. Not everyone is as evil as you've believed all these years." Harry shoved both hands into his pockets and went to move away when Ron's small voice floated towards him.

"I miss my friend."

"And I miss my family. Guess we can't have both."

Hermione gasped at this and Ron's jaw dropped to the floor. Harry didn't care he'd burnt that last bridge. Draco was right to act the way he did and it wasn't because Ron was a Gryffindor, the blonde was defending him and he saw fit to defend his house back. No, he wasn't going to let Ron use him like this anymore and if they were true friends then more effort would have been made. Admittedly that was from both sides but Harry had never goaded the Gryffindor's into a fight. They did that themselves.

"Ron, just leave it. We're spending Christmas together and that should be enough." Hermione said sadly.

It was going to be strange without Harry being at the Burrow. They'd spent the last two years together but this time it would only be her and Ron. This didn't pose many issues, she thought that perhaps with the absence of Harry she might be able to salvage what was left of her relationship with the Gryffindor, or at least get to the root cause of their distance. She took Ron's hand and pulled him away from the hall.

"Come on, Ron. Let's go." She said, her intention of dropping him off at Gryffindor tower before she made her way Ravenclaw tower.

 **. . .**

The wind was bitter and snow flurried around all the students as they ran towards the Hogwarts Express. It was toasty when they got inside and when Harry was about to file through the crowds to find a compartment he felt Draco pulling him back.

"We sit up here." He commented, and Harry looked past the blonde to see a group of Slytherins all sitting at the front of the train.

He should have remembered this from his years of taking the Express and he rolled his eyes mostly at himself for the stupidity.

He settled himself against the window seat where Pansy and Blaise were also sitting, Draco sliding into the booth next to him. He blocked out their conversations, preferring to look out the window at the scenery whizzing past them. Christmas at the Malfoy's. If anyone had of told him he'd be doing this at any point in his life he would have laughed at them but now it was a reality. He could see how Ron would be upset but the red head brought it on himself. How dare he try and act like everything was fine when he acted like an asshole. No, he'd done the right thing, he hoped… _Damn_ , Harry thought, sinking into the seat further.

"Everything alright, Harry?" Blaise questioned as he took in the sober expression.

"Yeah, nothing to worry about." Harry replied distantly and Draco bit his lip, wondering if he should pull the teen aside and tell him about Christmas.

Deciding against it, he waited until they were at Kings Cross Station to speak again and once the two Slytherin's had their trunks, Draco made a beeline for the exit. Harry followed, wondering how weird it would be to see Mrs. Malfoy standing on the platform waiting for her son. However, it seemed they were not going to be greeted by the Witch and instead Draco stopped in front of a stern looking man, dressed entirely in black.

"Master Malfoy." He said as way of greeting and Draco nodded stiffly.

"Shrink your trunk, we're apparating." Draco said, leaning towards him and Harry nodded before they pushed through the exit, trunks safely in their pockets.

Arriving with a snap, Harry fell into the snow as he took in the sight.

The manor was vast, considering Narcissa had split from Mr. Malfoy and was now on her own; Harry wondered how wealthy the Malfoy family really was. It was an ancient stone house that towered above all else around it, even the forests that encased the mansion seemed small and he fully believed that standing on the second or third floors and you'd see right over the tree tops.

"Welcome home, Master Draco and Harry Potter." A small elf greeted them at the door and Harry looked down warily at the elf, the last one the Malfoy's had had, Harry set free.

Ornate furnishings complimented the dark walls and wooden floors, it certainly looked grand from the inside as well as the outside. Hoping he wouldn't get lost in the maze of corridors, Harry and Draco were led through the first floor to where he found his bedroom. Thankfully, his room had navy wallpaper and a black rug that ran under the bed with other dark wooden furniture.

"This is your room, mine is next door." Draco confirmed and he nodded before fully walking inside.

There was large wooden wardrobe that stood promiently in the room and when he saw a door in the far corner he opened it to find a Jack and Jill style bathroom that Draco shared with him. Walking through the other open door he found himself in Dracos bedroom and was surprised to see it looked very plain. He wasn't sure what else he would expect, perhaps some posters on the wall or Quidditch souveneirs, but he couldn't see any of that, only a picture frame on his bedside table. However, from his distance he couldn't make out what was in the frame.

"Nothing special." Draco said, filling the silence and Harry shared a small smile before turning back to his room.

It felt surreal, he was in a Malfoy house and wasn't being beaten or tortured. He wasn't sure how well he'd have felt about being in the prior mansion, he probably would have had to say no to that. Sitting on the edge of his bed, Harry flopped backwards and stared at the canopy, he wondered what they would get up to, getting away from Hogwarts had been a good idea but he didn't want to be bored. _Shit, what about Christmas day?_ He shot up and was about to stand when Draco stood in the doorway.

They walked down the long corridor and back down to the ground floor before walking the maze of various rooms and corridors before coming to a part that looked as though people lived in it.

"This is the main living area, dining room is through here and kitchens down and around the corner." Draco listed the main areas he believed they'd be staying in and mentioned it was only one section of the house, "It's… pretty big just for Mother."

"Draco, darling is that you?" Narcissa's voice floated through one of the doors and they found her back in the main entrance area that would have been as large as the entire house at Number four Privet Drive.

"Welcome home." She walked up to them and gave Draco a quick hug before she looked to Harry.

"Harry Potter, it's an honour to have you staying over the break." Her voice was softly spoken and kind, almost warm, and he couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Malfoy."

"Are the both of you settled? I'm sure you must be hungry. Shall we?" It wasn't actually a question, Harry thought but he followed them both and sat at the large dining table.

There was four places set at the table, Draco and Harry taking one side and Narcissa the head, so the brunette wondered if they were expecting someone else. He didn't voice his question though and instead helped himself to some food, he was infact rather hungry.

At night, Harry opened the door to his balcony and went to sit on the thick stone wall, his back leaning against the house as he looked out over the forested area. He could hear various animal calls but it was the cold winters breeze that truly calmed him. He was heavily rugged up in thick layers and his hair flicked across his eyes as the wind whistled past him. It was peaceful here, little distractions and very few people.

He was aware that through the wind there was a crack of apparation and the crunching of someones feet along the stones leading the driveway but from where he was sitting he couldn't see anyone. It wasn't his place to pry anyway, not his house and definitely not his type of people. He shuddered and wondered if he'd be bumping into any current or ex-Death Eaters whilst staying there. He could only imagine their expressions when they saw who was staying here, but then again he surely wouldn't have been invited if there was going to be an issue.

A light turned on just by where he was sitting some time later and heard the shower go, he relaxed further against the wall and closed his eyes, his backside getting damp but not worrying about it. He'd have a shower once Draco was done.

"You'll get a cold." Draco's voice gave him a fright and he dropped a leg to balance himself, "Or fall off."

Realising that the shower was coming from the other direction, he slipped off the wall and shivered as he walked back inside.

"I was enjoying the view, thank you." Harry sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"And you couldn't wait for tomorrow? I can show you the beach if you like."

"The beach?"

"You can see it from the back of the house." Draco clarified and went to walk into their shared bathroom, "See you in the morning." He called, then shut the door.

Harry closed his double doors leading to the balcony and then pulled the curtains. Waiting until his friend was out of the bathroom he then took a shower, his Professor was right in his assumption that he hadn't come to terms with his scars. Hell, he still showered with a shirt on just so he didn't have to look at them, spelling the bandages on his left arm dry once he was done.

 _Professor Snape had been so angry_ , he remembered, and then the sentence that had rattled him the most, _I didn't spend half my life trying to protect your sorry behind for you to throw it all away and off yourself_. It made him shiver, even now, when he remembered that night. He had never felt more alone than after the man had left him there on the hospital cot. He rubbed his eyes as tears started to sting his eyes and he chose to move onto another topic as he rinsed off the suds. A holiday without the man was just what he needed so he could get his head on straight.


	21. Chapter 21

.

 _ **Who is this guest, you ask?**_

 _ **Read on and find out...**_

 _ ***Insert minor evil laugh***_

 **. . .**

His heart was racing, skin clammy and head pounding. It was another dream but this time it had been different and not a nightmare, in fact it was the complete opposite. Shifting under the heavy sheets he felt a rather stiff part of his body rub against the material and he froze before a moan slipped through his lips. _Not again…_ He was very much mortified and rolled over to place his face into the pillow.

A knock through his bathroom door roused him and Draco appeared, he had just showered and his cheeks flushed but he got the feeling something was wrong. The blonde seemed hesitant and with a look he asked what was wrong but received something in response.

"Breakfast will be served soon. I… thought you should know so you're not late. Mother will be expecting you dressed and well presented."

 _So much for a relaxing holiday_ , Harry thought but he nodded nonetheless. Draco then hesitantly turned on his heel and walked out, back into his bedroom. _Odd_ , Harry moved slowly out of his bed and rushed to get his jacket, wrapping it over his shoulders to cover his morning wood.

"Draco?" Harry called when he was ready for breakfast through the joining doors but when he didn't receive a response he went to his main door huffing.

Making his way down the corridor, he passed one of the bedrooms and caught a scent of something spicy and earthy, like someones cologne. It smelled familiar but came to the conclusion that someone else was indeed staying in the manor which would explain the extra place setting. He snorted to himself, digging his hands into his pockets; he was being very observant, not something he usually did but he supposed this could be debated as enemy territory. The thought made him smile, thinking back to the resorting ceremony at the beginning of the year, the hall had gone so quiet.

An inviting scent of breakfast filled his nostrils as he entered the dining room and he spied Draco hunched over his breakfast. There was another occupant to the manor today who had the Daily Prophet covering his face but Harry didn't mind, he and Draco were going to the beach this morning.

"You grill me for being late, your mother isn't even here." Harry sniffed as he sat, keeping his voice low as to not interrupt the other guest.

"Well, my deepest apologies, _Potter_." Draco hissed back, putting emphasis on his last name.

Harry frowned and looked offended but when the sudden crunching of paper was heard from in front of them, he turned his head only to find the person behind the paper was none other than his bloody Defence Professor. His jaw dropped and face turned sour suddenly when his eyes met the unfortunate sight.

"You cannot be serious." Severus muttered with a loud groan and then folded his paper back out so it covered his face and the unsightly view from in front of him.

" _You_ are going to experience a very _slow_ and _painful_ death. You knew about this didn't you?" Harry whispered to Draco but the blonde smiled in response and took his mug for a sip.

Harry reached out for the water, his heart was beating furiously in his chest and when he took the glass jug to fill his glass, his hands were shaking. Clinking against the glass he was attempting to pour the water into, Draco gave his friend a sideways glance and was about to help him when Harry snapped.

"I can manage."

"If you say so."

Severus smiled from behind his paper, if his presence intimidated the teen that much then he had every hope that he wasn't going to do anything stupid whilst he was living at the Manor. These thoughts were very pleasing but was all over ridden by shock that neither Malfoy's had informed him of this situation.

"Good morning everyone." Narcissa walked elegantly into the room and graciously took a seat, "I hope you slept well, Harry."

"I did, thank you." He blushed, remembering the state he woke up in.

"Now Draco, I hope you told him about the Christmas Eve gathering we are having." Harry looked between Mrs. Malfoy and his friend confused, "Ah, it's my annual event that I host before Christmas. You'll see some friends from school, such as the Parkinsons, you know Pansy don't you? Lovely girl. And the Elliott's will be here, oh, Severus did you hear back from Braithwait?"

"Unfortunately, he cannot attend this year." Severus folded his paper neatly and placed it to the side.

"That's a shame, it would have been good to catch up with him. What about Collins'?" Severus nodded, "Wonderful, Draco darling you must show their son, Viktor the Manor, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you again."

Harry was feeling very overwhelmed and sat there, sipping water and losing his appetite as Narcissa continued with her speech about the party. He didn't doubt that it would be a large event and filled with a lot of people that quite possibly didn't take to kindly to him.

"And of course there will be some of our friends from the Ministry, hopefully the Minister himself will be attending. It is an amazing night, Harry, I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself immensely."

It was hard not to get excited with how passionate the woman was about her event. It was only two days away and Harry remembered that he didn't have anything remotely appropriate the wear and put his head down. He was going to need a trip into the Alley to find something, but he didn't want to tell anyone, it was a little embarrassing.

"Are you not feeling well, dear?" Narcissa noticed that Harry's plate hadn't been touched and she was concerned that he might have felt out of place.

"I think I'm just tired." Harry lied and swallowed a lump in his throat when he sensed he was being watched from across the table.

Severus wanted to roll his eyes, Harry was an adult and didn't need to be spoon fed at the breakfast table. Resisting the urge to make a scathing remark about such a thing he sat back and eyeballed the teen, sipping his coffee periodically. After a few minutes, Harry finally raised his head and in turn, Severus raised an eyebrow, motioning with his eyes down to the empty plate. With a sigh, Harry picked a piece of toast and cut it in half, before eating it dry. This time, Severus didn't stop himself and his eyes rolled skywards before drinking the rest of his coffee.

After breakfast, Harry was rummaging through his trunk and found his new Slytherin scarf. Wrapping it around his neck and zipping up his winter jacket he went to the window and watched the sky turning into a dark grey colour. _Must be a blizzard on the way_ , he thought before going to seek out his friend.

Draco was standing in front of the mirror when Harry knocked on the door and laughed at the way he fixed up his hair.

"What's so funny?" The blonde sulked.

"Just that we're going to the beach where it's windy. Put a hat on or something." Harry saw a beanie on the teen's desk and threw it over to him.

"I'll be fine without it." And he placed it in a drawer before addressing Harry, "Shall we?"

The weather was bitterly cold and within a few minutes both of them started sniffing. Harry could imagine that the area would have looked lovely in the summer, they even had a pool but he wasn't going to be taking a dip anytime soon. Suddenly Draco stopped and looked back to the house, his face distorting as he thought, then looked at Harry.

"We should fly there." He said bluntly and Harry took a step back.

"I can walk."

"Well I'm not, it's ages to walk there and this weather is cold. We could always do this another time."

But as Harry considered that, it meant having to be in the same space as his Professor. _How bad could that be?_ He wondered, thinking about getting on the broom. He had gotten over his stomach churning incidents when it came to fire and ash so a broom would be the same. He lived in hope anyway.

"I'm _not_ going back inside with that man wandering around. We'll fly." Harry stubbornly stormed back to the house, his feet already feeling the wet of snow as it seeped into his boots.

Draco caught up and directed them to the outdoor shed, well Draco had said shed, Harry would have said miniature house. It was opposite the pool and would have technically been called a pool house but there was a lot of miscellaneous items stored in there also. Stepping out of the wintry blast, Harry shivered and took a moment to look around, in the corner were several broomsticks, all Nimbus two-thousand and ones. He smiled at the memory of when they first came out and how Draco had _bought_ his way onto the team.

Wandering in further he saw a living area that was surrounded by boxes and thought about what it might look like in summer, he could see himself taking a poolside trip here. But his attention was taken when a broom was thrust into his hands and he gripped it tightly. His heart skipped a beat and the room increased in temperature, then as if the handle was white hot he let it go, the thudding of it hitting the floor brought him back to the pool house. Putting his hand on his heart, Harry took some deep breaths to control his breathing and stepped back.

Draco stood and watched, frowning at the response. The brunette really hadn't been joking when he said he hadn't touched a broomstick since the incident, if he had of then this had a very unlikely chance of happening.

"Did you want to talk about it?" He offered but Harry shook his head.

"Let's just do this." Harry muttered picking the broom up once more and taking it all in his stride.

Draco didn't say anything else and followed his friend outside, closing the doors behind him. The wind was really starting to pick up but Harry decided that getting his head up in the clouds might be a good idea. Suddenly, he smiled. His memories of Quidditch and fooling around with Ron at this time of the year put a positive aura around him. He didn't need to fear flying, he'd had fun all these years and the one person that he'd fought to save that night in the Room of Requirement was standing right next to him.

"We can go back inside if you prefer." Draco offered, his voice almost unheard through the wind.

"Race you there." Harry replied with a grin, kicking off of the ground suddenly and disappearing into the white breeze.

With his own smile, Draco sped off after him.

Severus was standing at the window watching the two teenagers until they disappeared into the sky. He rarely saw either of them smile but it was good to see they were getting along. Having Harry around him over the Christmas break couldn't have been more perfect, he would never openly admit that however. He was half tempted to confiscate the teen's wand again but threw that idea out right away, he needed to give the boy a chance to prove he wasn't going to go down that path once more.

After Christmas day; that was when they would be sitting down to talk. He would also have most of the exams marked by that point also so he could put some attention to his Slytherin. Speaking of which, he needed to make a start on the examinations and headed in the direction of the study Narcissa was allowing him to use whilst he was there.

 **. . .**

Sitting through lunch, Harry was overcome by a feeling of dread. He was in a stalemate with what he was going to do in the afternoon, did he strip down his pride and admit to Draco he needed clothes for the party or did he bare all to his Professor? He assumed that with them both being in the same place over Christmas that he would be expecting to spend time together. It made his stomach knot and he propped his head up on the table as he stirred his bowl of soup.

"Are you going to hole away in your bedroom for the rest of the day, or do you want to do something?" Draco asked quietly, his Mother was absent, most likely out and about, and didn't want to interrupt his Head of House.

Harry glanced at the man sitting across him who paused and met his eye. Looking away, Harry turned his head towards Draco and asked if he wanted to go shopping. There wasn't much else they could do with this cold weather and he didn't particularly feel up to sharing with his Professor.

"We can do that. I need to get some things for Christmas."

 _Thank Merlin!_ Harry perked up immediately, finishing his soup quickly.

Wrapped tightly in warm thick clothes, the two teens made their way through the Alley and to Gringotts. A lot had changed since the war and Harry could remember when he, Ron and Hermione saw the tattered ruins of Olivanders. The man hadn't come back yet and new Witches and Wizards were having to travel to Russia or other European stores to get their new wands. His shop was still there, it had been boarded up and tidied as shops began reopening around it and there was some bustle going on which created a lovely atmosphere.

"Last time I was here, we broke into a vault and escaped on a dragon." Harry commented bluntly as they stood outside the bank, a small frown crossing his features.

"Seriously?"

"Let's hope they don't kick me out." Harry feigned his chirpy voice and went on ahead leaving a rooted Draco Malfoy.

The bank hadn't changed at all, except there were no more cobwebs and the lighting had been improved. He could feel the eyes on him as he walked further inside but he had no business robbing Gringotts today, he just wanted to take some money out so he could buy some robes and perhaps a few presents as well.

"Mr. Potter." The head goblin at withdrawals glared at him over the counter but he wasn't going to be intimidated right now.

"I would like to make a withdrawal, here's my key." He passed it over and the goblin and then stepped aside for Draco to come forward.

"Me too." Draco passed up his key with a shy blush and the goblin sneered at them both.

"Follow me." He said and sharing an anxious look, both teens followed.

Draco had never actually been here by himself, his father had always given him money before he went out or he had paid for everything if they were all together. He almost clung to Harry but restrained himself, he had _some_ dignity left and refused to be seen weak at this new experience.

"That wasn't so bad." Draco commented when they stepped outside.

"No, quite pleasant." Harry replied and they both laughed, "I need to see Madame Malkins. What do you need?"

"I'll come with you, I need a new tie for the party."

Harry sighed and nodded, he honestly didn't think that he would get any stick for not having a proper suit or dress robes. It was Narcissa and his Professor that he was most worried about. He and Draco had become quite close friends, especially over the past month and he supposed it had a little to do with his melt down but in a way, he was glad they were now. Hermione and Ron had been good rocks for him during and after the war, but Ron lacked understanding with the idea that he was the pawn for the light and Draco for the dark. The blonde understood his burdens even though they didn't really speak about it, the silence was good. That left Hermione, she had been particularly kind to him during exams and after his Infirmary visit. It reminded him that sometimes he would feel alone and that's why he had friends, friends like her that could offer human contact.

Then there's Professor Snape, _he's different recently,_ Harry perused the formal suits with ambivalence, _almost clingy and always watching me_. Was he surprised? A little, but he didn't understand why there was a need to be watched constantly. _I like it when he touches my hair…_ He ran his hands over a black suit that shimmered emerald shapes when he rustled it.

"That would be perfect." Draco was suddenly by his side and it made him jump.

Harry wasn't sure, he was trying to get away from green at the moment and wanted to have the same thing with a maroon trim instead. The blonde turned his nose up at the suggestion and asked why he didn't want green.

"You know it works perfectly with your eyes, and these things are threaded together to last."

"What's green and can kill you?" Harry whispered and looked at the old lady who was looking at some blouses.

"Still the nightmares about it?"

"Yeah." Harry sagged his shoulders and looked at the suit again, it was actually very nice.

"What about this instead? Blue can work." Draco smiled softly at him and looking it over he had to agree it was a lovely deep shade of blue but the green one was calling him and he wanted to make a good impression at the party.

"Try it on." Draco continued and grabbed what he thought might be Harry's size before pushing him towards the dressing room.

"It fits nicely." Harry called from behind the curtain and suddenly it was ripped open, "How did you know my size?" He narrowed his eyes and Draco blinked innocently back.

"Ah, magnificent!" The lady behind the counter came over to them and started pulling Harry this way and that, the measuring tape working of its own accord, "But'chu know…" She paused and scratched her chin before clicking her fingers and it changed colours.

The blue was replaced by green and she gushed. Looking down, the thought of green made his head swim and become light but when he turned around and saw himself in the mirror his jaw went slack. _Wow_ , he thought, _perhaps I could get away with this_.

"Told you." Draco went and sat down, crossing his legs and inspecting his fingernails.

"Stop preening like a peacock, you look absurd." Harry smirked and smiled at the shop keeper who was noting down his sizes to have it properly fit.

"Would you like to get any shirts? I recommend black, or even a dark grey. I think a green tie will be too much, so a simple black tie would work well."

Harry just nodded, he really wasn't the best with these kinds of things and figured if anything stuck out, his closet gay blonde friend would inform him. He smirked at his own humor.

Feeling better once he had sorted an outfit, they walked down the alley looking at the new shops that had opened. The Weasley shop was still ticking along and had a constant stream of children going inside. Harry wondered if that was the kind of thing Draco would be into, practical jokes and having fun. All the time he'd know him he had always been a calm person when they weren't coming to blows with each other. He wondered if the Draco he knew was the same back in their first and second years.

"Ever been in there?" Harry pointed to the joke shop and Draco scoffed.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'd never be caught dead in there."

"All right, you can stay here then." And Harry strode over to the front door and pushed his way through the children.

It was simply packed and we wondered if Ron would be working over the holidays for some extra cash. He couldn't see anyone he knew, so went over to one wall and looked at the new products they had brought out. Popping candies and the famous animal lozenges. It wasn't anything too exciting, but suddenly George came flying around the corner on a ladder followed by a very young wizard who was roaring like a Lion. It made Harry smile and remember when Ron had come back from his overseas trip with those same sweets.

"Ugh, it's so busy in here." Draco complained.

"I thought I told you to stay outside." The brunette teased as he weaved through the crowds.

"It was cold." Draco replied as he looked about, bumping into Harry when he stopped suddenly.

"Harry? Didn't even see you there, how are you bud?" George reached forward took Harry into a strong hug.

"Hey George, business looks busier than ever!"

"Doesn't it just, had to rope in the whole clan to help out now that Fred's upstairs. But we make it work." Even as he spoke about his brother there was no sadness and it was something Harry admired.

"Is _he_ with you?" George whispered and Harry looked over his shoulder as Draco entertained himself by the love potions. If it weren't for the pink light display he could have sworn the blonde was turning green.

"I'm surprised you haven't heard from, Ron. I'm staying at Malfoy Manor over Christmas." Harry explained and George nodded, "It's his first time." He mocked and George gave him a wide grin.

Draco didn't particularly fancy this shop, it was bright and loud, with children running around him. It was like he was invisible to them and standing next to some love potion was seriously cramping his style.

"I better get him out of here, but before I do..." Harry eyed the boy still roaring and inspiration hit him, George knew exactly what he was thinking and with a wink, threw a bag of the candies at Harry.

"It was good to see you again, Harry. Don't be a stranger." The red head smiled warmly and took him in for a hug, it was always comforting to get a brotherly hug from the giant red head.

Ron was stocking a shelf when he saw unmistakable blonde hair walking out of the shop, then he noticed Harry trailing behind him very closely. He was quite bitter about the Christmas break, he hadn't really spoken to his friend all term and now he was preferring the company of a Slytherin, the same family that had tortured them through the war. He shuddered when he recalled Hermione being constantly self-conscious about the scar on her left forearm. _Mudblood_ , it made him sick to his stomach and the scar wasn't even on him.

Scrambling down the ladder he found George winding through the crowds and he bailed his brother up.

"Heya bro, you just missed, Harry." George beamed and saw someone he knew, waving to them.

"Yeah? How's his new friend?"

"Malfoy? He looked like a right spare piece in here." His older brother laughed and patted Ron on the shoulder, "Why don't you take lunch and go after him, I bet he'd love to chat."

"I doubt it." Ron sulked and ripped off the apron he was wearing before storming out the back of the shop.

That night when Ron arrived home he found Hermione and gave her a hug, holding her tight. She giggled at his actions but he didn't let her go until she started pushing him away. She put a hand on the side of his face and found him gazing at her with an odd expression before he leaned in to kiss her softly.

"What's this all about?" She commented when they broke away and shut her book.

"I missed you." He replied and she took both his hands, squeezing them gently.

"I missed you too, how was work?" She drew both her sleeves up, feeling warmer now and noticed Ron look down at her arms, his face distorting, "Hey…" She pulled his head back up and he shook it free.

"I know something happened today, you're never good at hiding your emotions." She soothed and gave him her no-nonsense glare.

"Harry came in to the store today."

"Oh, did the two of you talk?"

"No, the Ferret was with him. It's his fault you have that." He motioned down at her arm and she pulled her sleeve down.

"I told you, I hardly notice it and it's faded a lot."

"That's not the point, and I know you're conscious of it. I can't believe Harry is friends with that weasel, they have nothing in common."

"Ron, we've been through this before. You _know_ they have more in common than just their house choice. They had to deal with a lot during the war." She reminded him but it didn't seem to calm him.

"And what about us? What we had to deal with?" Ron snapped and she removed her hands from his, they had been through this before and wasn't an argument that needed to be dredged up once more.

"Just leave it, Ron. I'm actually happy he's found someone to connect with. They seem good for each other."

"Good for each other?"

"What's going on?" Ginny came into the room and Hermione huffed in Ron's direction.

"We're talking about Harry's – "

"It's nothing, just Ron being stubborn." Hermione cut him off and his sister smiled sadly.

"How is he? You haven't really mentioned him." Ginny's voice was forlorn and Hermione knew that she missed their friend.

"He's doing okay." Hermione lied, missing out the point that he tried to kill himself and she glared at Ron to keep it quiet, thankfully he did, "I think he just wanted some space this Christmas."

"And he found that with Draco Malfoy?" Her tone was sceptical.

"Evidently." Hermione gave her a sad smile and then went to stand, they could smell food from down stairs and Hermione could wager a guess at dinner being ready soon.

"I'm not done talking about this." Ron hissed at her but Hermione shrugged and wormed her way out of his embrace.

"I am."

 **. . .**

Severus was laying awake listening to the blizzard that had come through earlier than expected across the township, the howling wind rattling the windows and causing a small draft. He wrapped the covers around himself tightly, not that he was cold but the idea of the wintery breeze certainly made him think he could feel it.

Opening his eyes, he heard a yell from the next room, Harry's room. Listening carefully he trained his hearing to see if anything else was going to come out of the teen's mouth. Wondering if Draco had heard it and thinking about the boy's recent meltdown, he tossed up whether he should go and see if everything was alright.

When another noise was heard and the smashing of glass echoed through the first floor, Severus was up quickly and throwing on his dark green robe. Opening the door quickly he made it two steps before Draco's door opened at the end of the hall and the sleepy boy saw him. They met outside Harry's bedroom and Severus noted the hesitant look in his grey eyes.

"He's having a flashback again." Draco said bluntly and Severus nodded.

"I will deal with this, go back to bed." He didn't want the younger Slytherin to be in Harry's firing line again if he was indeed having another flashback, the last time happened everyone ended up in the Infirmary.

He knocked on Harry's door, it was only polite to do so, but when he heard a small sob he went inside. It was only to check that whatever had broken wasn't going to cause injury but when he walked in, the bedside light was on and a glass was shattered next to the bed. Harry looked horrified when he turned and saw who had entered, frozen in shock was the best way to explain his expression.

"W-What are you doing here?" Harry asked, pulling the covers up to his chest, tears still freshly glistening on his cheeks.

"Checking you are safe, Potter." He replied and with slow hand movements, cast a spell to repair the glass that lay broken.

Harry felt silly, he should have cast a silencing charm around his room so that no one could hear his screams. It was bad enough that Draco heard them but if his Professor was standing in his room then he must have heard them also. Sniffing, he was about to wipe his nose on the sleeve of his pyjamas when a small white cloth was produced, his Professor extending his arm with what appeared to be a handkerchief.

"Take it." Severus said seeing the hesitance from the teen and then went to sit on the edge of his bed.

"Thanks." Harry muttered and wiped his nose before dabbing the tears away. He felt horrified and went to give it back to the man who put his hand up.

"Keep it." There was then a long pause, Harry didn't know what he should say and neither did Severus, but he could feel movement along the bed and realised the teen was shaking. "Don't move, I'll be back."

Harry frowned as his Professor disappeared out of his room, looking down at the cloth in his hands he fiddled with it and then noticed the embroidered _S.S_ in one of the corners. He didn't think that the man was the type of person to carry around something such as this and let a small smile pull at his lips. Even though his heart was beating in his chest and his head pounded, something as small as this reminded him that his Professor was a real human being. He let the smile fall when the Wizard arrived back, he was holding a potion and Harry wondered what kind of medication he would be taking now, he felt like the ultimate pin cushion but with potions.

"Calming Draught." Severus clarified when he saw the look on his students' face, "It will calm you enough so you can get some more sleep, it is very early." Looking at the time it was only just past one in the morning.

"Open." He continued as Harry was about to reach out for it, this wasn't a typical potion, he had infused it with an extremely mild sleeping potion, but for it to work the individual had to be tired.

 _Of course I can't administer myself_ , he thought bitterly and with flushed cheeks he tilted his head back and let the man pour some of the liquid down his throat. Sitting there for a moment, he was aware that a peaceful wave spread through his body, making his limbs weak and eyes heavy. His Professor was watching carefully and he wanted to stay awake in front of the man but his state was deterioating quickly, falling into a deep slumber. He sunk down into the sheets and nuzzled the pillow, feeling the height of relaxation.

"Better?" His low voice coiled around Harry's mind and he let his eyes flutter closed, turning on his side so he was facing his Head of House and humming quietly.

"Goodnight, Harry."

He went to stand when the he noticed the relaxed form of his student as he slept. It was such a contrast to the wild teen he'd had to face over the years, unruly and stubborn. In his sleep however, when aided with a calming draught he seemed completel different. It was a softened expression, unworried and not stressed. The frown lines that were deepening and the age to his face seemed much younger and how it should look.

Bringing the covers up, he covered Harry's shoulders so he would remain warm with the blizzard attacking outside and let his hands wander up to the teen's head. Unable to resist, he raked a hand through the soft locks that were growing longer than they ever had. He wished his Slytherin pleasant dreams until he woke, perhaps once the sun cleared the trees in the morning they could have a chat about what had him waking up in a panic, but for now he would let him rest.

 **. . .**

 _ **I mean, deep down he's a bit of a softie don't you think?**_

 ** _Comment. Review._**


	22. Chapter 22

**.**

 **Please forgive me! I was going really well with weekly updates but this last week just turned up on it's head and I didn't get around to proofing in the weekend!**

 **Thank you all for the lovely reviews :D**

 **Yes, CallicaXx he is a little smitten really, isn't he?**

 **Chaoskitten247, I'm so glad you're enjoying this story, and super sorry you've had to wait a little extra for the next chapter.**

 **. . .**

 **Enjoy ;)**

 **. . .**

Draco was putting the final touches to his suit, pulling it this way and that, smoothing it out and messing with his hair. Everything had to be immaculate, and if it wasn't, his mother would surely notice. He didn't mind these events even though they were completely fake, he had always been told that this is where business is made, contacts are established and this lifestyle continues. Well, his father had told him that, his mother was more of a social being and kept up with latest trends. Her fellow associates, she didn't call them friends, were her circle and she lived off the attention.

This time, it would be the first year without his father badgering about the event and telling him to make a good impression. He had to remind himself of this and be a good child for his mother. He doubted she would be lax in her standards, especially seeing as they were on their own now.

Finally happy with his presentation, he wandered into the bathroom, looking at himself again and slapped his face with his signature cologne. It was an expensive Wizard brew and stayed fresh all night long; it contained hints of bergamot which really gave it a zing.

When he was ready, he went over and knocked on Harry's door. There was a muffled _enter_ , and he peered into the room to see Harry sitting on the edge of his bed, suit sitting beside him. Harry refused to look up and Draco frowned, coming over to him.

"You're not even close to being ready." He said and Harry sniffed, nodding. "Why?"

At this, Harry looked up and he could see the puffy red eyes, he appeared to have been crying for some time. But he wasn't sure why. He didn't know what to do, or what to say.

"I don't know if I can do this." Harry replied, running the handkerchief through his hands.

"Sure you can. Are you worried they won't like you? It's not like that anymore." Draco was floundering and he put his hands into his pockets.

"Come on, get ready and we'll do the customary rounds of greeting everyone. Then, once that's out of the way we'll grab some drinks and have our own party. Pansy should be here by now, we don't want to be late."

Harry wasn't convinced, but the sound of alcohol certainly had him glancing over at his suit. He nodded, his hands in his lap and playing with the white embroidered cloth. He could always go and if he didn't feel well, could leave.

"Okay. I'll be down soon." He resigned, standing and making the move to take his suit.

"If you're not down in fifteen minutes I'll have Professor Snape come and get you." He thought the threat might provoke his friend into actually committing to getting ready and then left.

Downstairs, Draco entered the room with a flourish and sought his mother out. She was surrounded by a group of ladies who were all holding champagne flutes and chatting. When Narcissa saw him, she beckoned him over and he politely smiled to them all as he was introduced. They all gushed over him and he stood straight, disliking the attention but knowing it had to happen.

"Darling, where's Harry?" She whispered, pulling him aside for privacy.

"He's still getting ready." He furrowed his brow and hesitated.

"Is he all right?"

"I'll go and find him if he isn't here soon."

"Darling, please do not pressure him. Severus told me what happened." She whispered and brushed something off her son's shoulder, "Leave him be." She smiled and Draco wondered why the rules were being changed just for Harry.

Feeling put out but understanding, they re-joined the party and in the distance, Draco spotted Pansy standing with the other young Wizard that had been invited, his cousin Viktor.

"Hello, Draco." Pansy purred, she was holding a flute of champagne and he gave her a hard look.

"Evening, Pansy. Viktor." He addressed the tall teenager with a nod and cringed when Pansy started fluffing about, flirting with the taller teen.

Harry stood at the top of the stairs, he could hear the orchestra playing softly through the large doors leading into the ballroom and he sighed. Flexing his shoulders and correcting his posture, he focussed on controlling his breathing. He reminded himself that if he wasn't able to deal with it he could leave, he was staying in the house so he had a right to escape into his bedroom.

Slipping through the doors, he cautiously made his way inside and held his breath, seeing familiar faces amongst the crowd. He sought out Draco or even Narcissa and his Professor but he couldn't see them immediately. With a shaky breath the people closest to him had started to turn around and look at him; the longer he stood there, the more people turned. He took a couple of steps forward when the room started to go quiet and he fully believed that his presence wasn't going to be welcomed.

Draco noticed the change in atmosphere and saw a large circle where his friend was now standing by himself. He rushed forward, sliding past a few people but stopped suddenly when Severus swept through, putting an arm around his friend and walking off to the side.

"Do not react." Severus whispered, his arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders, walking them through the hall and towards the back.

Harry's mind was reeling, if it hadn't been for the man's voice calming him he didn't know who had worked him away from the stares. But now that they slowed, Harry glanced over his shoulder to find the party back in full swing with no one paying him any mind. Relief flooded his veins and he took a deep breath, stepping out of the man's arms and turning to face him.

His jaw physically dropped when he took in the man's appearance, it was like nothing he had ever seen before and he blinked a few times. Severus was dressed head to toe in black with accents of a deep blood red throughout. His hair was pulled up into a loose pony at the base of his neck and secured with a ribbon that matched his accented suit. Breath taking was a word that came to Harry's mind and he swallowed heavily as they looked at each other.

"Harry?" Pansy couldn't believe her eyes and quickly interrupted whatever moment was occurring between Harry and Severus to give him a gentle hug, "I'm surprised to see _you_ here." She continued and linked her arm.

Harry remained in shock, Pansy had never outwardly expressed her delight in his presence. They had a tolerable attitude towards each other at best he thought. He figured everything was still odd after she tried handing him over to Voldemort when he returned to Hogwarts. Perhaps right now she was just being polite.

"Harry Potter? Well, I never thought I'd see the day. Viktor Collins, Honour Student of Durmstrang, Legacy of Viktor Collins the third." He reached out to shake Harry's hand, which he took only out of politeness.

"Uh, Harry Potter, Average Intelligence at Hogwarts and not from anyone of note." He wasn't trying to be funny, but he heard Pansy giggle and a noise that sounded like a snort from their Professor still standing within earshot.

"So, how are you enjoying this?" Pansy asked just as Draco arrived back.

"He'll start enjoying it soon. Viktor, mother said you'd like a tour of the house." Draco spoke stiffly.

"Very good. Lead the way." The tall boy replied and Draco turned around, rolling his eyes at his Professor.

"Let's get some more drinks." Pansy whispered, leaning right into Harry and he nodded absentmindedly, his eyes looking over his Professor.

Severus watched the two of them go and finished off the rest of his drink, placing it on a tray table as one of the waiters passed him. Harry looked like he had been crying but apart from that he was absolutely stunning. In a room full of Slytherin's, he had taken the initiative of wearing a green hued suit but what surprised him was that he had chosen green. Well, emerald to be correct. He wondered if he was torturing himself or if the fear of such colour only occurred when he was in a dream. Whatever the reason, he was pleased to see him mingling with his classmate. But he would be keeping a close eye, aware that he was still volatile and could have an episode at any point.

"Here." Pansy passed him some champagne and he sipped a little.

Harry had never been a drinker, never really been allowed it and at the wedding of Bill and Fleur, he'd tried to stay away from it in case something had happened. He was pretty sure nothing would happen tonight so he chose to indulge himself in a little alcohol. It tasted remarkably fruity, not what he expected, and turned to observe everyone at the party.

There were Ministry officials and the Minister himself arrived later on in the evening. Harry could see two people he suspected were Death Eaters, so he stayed clear of them and found himself being introduced to various people by Pansy and when Draco came back they headed to the far back corner.

"This evening is going pretty well." The blonde commented, screwing his face at Pansy and Viktor.

"I expected it to be worse." Harry whispered back and his friend gave him a small smile.

"At least you made an impression." Draco sipped a fresh glass of champagne, "And Professor Snape hasn't taken his eyes off you."

Frowning, Harry scanned the room and found their Professor speaking with an older gentleman but his eyes were focussed on his student rather than the associate. Harry felt himself swallow again, he wasn't used to seeing the man so impeccably dressed and his stomach tightened at the view. He had to turn around when the stare felt heated and downed the rest of his drink.

"I'm not sure if that's good thing or not." Harry replied, almost to himself as he didn't know what to make of the situation.

A clinking of silver to glass caught everyone's attention and a small circle developed around Narcissa who began to say a few words. She thanked everyone for being there, commenting on what a wonderful evening it had been so far, but now she directed everyone outside and onto the large patio area that had been cleared of any snow. Draco and Harry made their way outside and the brunette asked his friend what they were doing.

"Fireworks. It's a large display." He commented and looked behind them to see his Professor slowly moving towards them, "Brace yourself." He whispered and Harry frowned not understanding until a hand came to rest on his shoulder for a moment.

Severus locked eyes with his student with an impassive expression, he felt that he should be present in case something triggered the teen. He noted the slight panicked glance he shot at Draco but paid it no mind, instead moving to stand behind Harry in preparation for the fireworks.

The first firework went off and shot up into the clear night sky. Harry jumped when he heard it and stepped back straight into his Professor but the man didn't move and instead he found a hand gently placed on his hip. He took a deep breath and was prepared when the next few started. It was an amazing lightshow, the colours bright and vibrant and Harry was actually starting to enjoy the patterns. He let himself relax, the greens made his heart race but he simply pushed back against the man who was guarding him, a move that had another welcome hand placed on his other hip. With his neck craned up towards the sky, he almost rested his head against the man's solid chest but he resisted.

With a flurry of fireworks banging and popping, the show ended with a loud pop and a green serpent exploded out of the sky, shining brightly down on them. Harry's gasped and wanted to take a step back or run but found he couldn't when the two hands on his hips moved. Encircling his waist and trapping him. Severus held him tightly, he wasn't going to let the teen go, not right now and especially since he had started to shake.

Harry felt the cold creep in under his clothes, the darkness of the night catapaulting him into another nightmare. He could hear the distant chants of Death Eaters, their poisonous curses echoing in his mind. As the party started to migrate back into the warmth of the Manor, Harry started to panic.

Severus has one hand splayed on the teens abdomen and the other on his chest, holding him firm. With the aid of the green light as it started to fade he looked down to see what the teens face was doing. He could see the anguish and the tears so decided it best he get the boy away from everyone before someone noticed.

He pulled them round and loosened his grip, tucking him under his arm as he gracefully slipped through the crowd. Draco stuffed his hands into his pockets and watched his friend get guided away but decided to stay and find his other classmate.

Harry was trying desperately to hold onto his tears, he didn't want to be crying in front of his Professor and certainly not to the rest of the guests. He was guided towards his bedroom and only then was he let go. He felt like crawling into bed and feeling sorry for himself but it seemed his Professor had other ideas, so went and sat in the bay window that was next to the French doors. Facing the window and looking up at the stars he didn't hear his Professor moving about until the man came and sat next to him, facing the other way.

"You seemed to handle that well." Severus commented, his voice soft.

Harry hugged and rested his chin on his knees. _Suppose I did_ , he thought but a shiver ran down his spine at a flash of green from outside that caught his attention. Then again, he could have done better and not ended up in his bedroom with tears staining his face and his teacher watching over the situation.

"I think… we both know the reason for that." Harry sighed and moved to cross his legs.

"Do we?" Severus replied and leaned back against the window.

Loosening his tie and undoing the top buttons, Harry put his hand down and pulled up the pendant, the silvery contents sliding about as he moved it. Pulling hard on the vial, he felt the twine snap at the knot and he played with it for a moment. He didn't find comfort in the memories like he used to, not when he had his Professor there with him in reality. He had to admit it, the man's presence had been a pivotal part of his recovery but he was by no means healed just yet. This was a good a time as any to return the memories, there was no way he would be able to view them anyway so holding on to something like this wasn't going to do him any good.

Severus observed the teens face, with the clear sky and shine coming off the moon he could see thoughts taking up his focus.

"Here, you should have this back." Harry finally said, handing the vial over and Severus frowned.

There was an almost inaudible gasp from the older Wizard as he took the object in his hand. Actually, knowing that this was what Harry had been carrying around with him for the past few months made him feel something odd. It wasn't an emotion he was able to articulate, only that he had felt it before, long ago.

"Where did you get these?"

"Headmistress's office. Dumbledore may have helped me." Harry admitted, he knew that he had to be honest with the man.

"Harry – " Severus was now watching the teen who looked broken sitting beside him.

"I know it's not much but… Merry Christmas." Harry said deflated and a tear slipped down his face.

"Hey," Severus reached out and wiped the tear off his cheek and cupped the teens face gently. "If it means something to you, then it is more than just _not much_." Severus clarified.

"You spent a great deal of your life protecting me and I shouldn't have refused treatment."

"What's done, is done." The man replied, watching as Harry subtly leaned into his hand, "You have hit, what I hope, is the lowest point of your life. Now, what you do to build yourself back is up to you. That is how people will remember you."

His Professor was right, he had hit rock bottom, possibly even further than that. But it wasn't a place he liked to be, he needed help and he freely admitted that it was his Head of House that could get him there. Admitting it to himself was one thing, he wasn't sure if he could vocalise it to anyone else just yet.

"How do I even begin that?"

It was a good question and another one Severus had was how he would be able to help. Harry was opening up to him, slowly, but it was still occurring. The vial in his hands gave him an idea and he stood suddenly before walking out of the room. Harry glanced over his shoulder, frowning when the man hadn't even responded to him. Disappointment spread through him and he spun around before standing himself, taking his jacket off and placing it on the edge of his bed. A shadow in his doorway caught his attention and his Professor was walking back into the room carrying something, when he was in front of him, he realised what it was.

"You should have this back."

"My invisibility cloak." Harry whispered, taking the soft, silky material between his fingers.

"I had planned on returning it sooner, however you never asked to have it back and stealing doesn't count." Severus said, standing very close in front of Harry, well and truly inside his personal bubble.

"Thank you."

"To answer your question – " Severus paused, putting a hand on the teen's shoulder, sliding it towards his neck, " – Start with indulging things you enjoy."

Harry's lips parted slightly and a small gasp was heard when they locked eyes. Admittedly, Severus was very close but he didn't mind it for once and allowed himself to be drawn in for the moment.

"You should get some sleep." Severus said after a beat, it was very late, "You look exhausted." The festivities wouldn't be busy tomorrow but an extra few hours sleep would benefit him.

Harry sighed and nodded, putting the cloak on the covers with his jacket, his heart still beating furiously in his chest from the man's presence. He didn't particularly want him to leave and when his Professor turned away he started to feel empty. Of course it was a silly thought, something that he shouldn't have experienced with his Professor, but it was there.

Looking at the door, the older Wizard paused and looked at him before closing the door with a click. The room seems to plummet in temperature making him feel even more sad, so without further hesitation he undressed and went to have a shower, leaving his shirt on. The hot water made him feel a little better and by the time he was in bed, the exhaustion finally caught up with him.

Lying on his side, he looked at the cloak and reached out for it. He had felt something with Professor Snape, something he couldn't identify. His heart pounded in his chest, he felt his face flush and his lips had suddenly going dry. Pulling the cloak toward him, he let his fingers slip through the silvery material. _He had it the whole time and just decided not to give it back?_ Feelig bewildered by the idea, he realised that he could have always asked him for it back and no, stealing it that one time didn't count.

Nuzzling his face into the soft material, he took a deep breath in and his eyes snapped open. It had a familiar scent, the one he'd caught on his way down to breakfast… _Professor Snape_.

 **. . .**

Draco walked into Harry's bedroom in the morning and blinked a few times not understanding what he was seeing. There was an outline of a body under the covers but the bed didn't appear to have a person lying in it. Frowning, he called out softly and pulled his wand out in caution. He hadn't even seen the teen for the rest of the night after he disappeared with their Head of House and wondered if something had happened.

The lump in the bed moved a bit and Draco had a spell on tip of his tongue before Harry's head appeared as something slipped off him. His mouth popped open and he stared for a while before he was able to articulate a sentence through his gaping.

"What – Is that an invisibility cloak?"

"Morning." Harry grumbled and sat up, rubbing his face and running hands through his messy hair.

"How did you _get_ one of those?" Draco reached out for it as Harry looked about sleepily, feeling like he'd had the best sleep in years.

"Oh, that? Yeah…" Harry had the grace to blush, the story behind it running through his mind and wondered if Draco had heard of the Deathly Hallows tale.

"Wicked." Draco wrapped it around himself and went over to the mirror, "My body's gone." He spun around like a child and Harry looked at him with amusement.

 _That's how I acted when I first put it on_ , he thought and dragged himself out of bed to take it back. It was still precious afterall.

"Happy Christmas." The blonde said suddenly, holding a small box out in front of him.

Harry gave the teen a small smile and took the box, pulling the ribbon and opening it up. Gasping, inside was a ring, a silver signet ring. Looking up to his classmate he found himself speechless, it was incredible.

"This is incredible." Harry whispered and took the ring out of the box to inspect it more closely.

On the flattened surface was a snake and a lion engraved into the silver, one emerald and one ruby stone set into the eyes of the animals.

"Mother and I had it made for you." Draco explained, his face growing a pink hue, "Gryffindor and Slytherin. We don't really celebrate christmas, but considering everything we wanted to get you something special. To also say thank you."

"To say thank you?" Harry frowned and found Draco looking back at him with embrassment and hesitance.

"Yeah. Let's leave it at that shall me?" He waved his hand dismissing the conversation and went to walk away only to find arms around his chest holding him back.

Harry was hugging him, he didn't know why but for a fleeting moment it felt nice. He hadn't ever really been hugged, especially as a child and certainly not when he was older. When he grumbled about it, he was let go and looking warily at his friend he felt something warm spread through him. A friend, a hug, a christmas. _I wonder if this is how Gryffindor feels_ , he thought quietly before turning to leave the room.

"No, wait!" Harry remembered he had something for Draco and rummaged around in his trunk. "It's not much but I thought it might make you smile."

Passing the box over, Draco opened it cautiously and peered inside. Frowning as he read the label he went to take one of the candies when Harry stopped him with a sly smile.

"I don't think you want to do that right now. Promise me you'll wait until later when I'm around, I want to hear this."

"These are from that Weasely shop? Will I _actually_ sound like a – " He stopped and read the label, ' – An elephant?"

Harry's returning grin was enough for him to gain confirmation and put the lid back on the box. Draco felt that same warm feeling spreading through his chest and seeing his friend awkwardly happy made him smile too.

"Thank you, Harry."

"What are friends for?"

So, Christmas was starting out pretty well. Harry didn't know what he'd been expecting but when they made it down for breakfast, everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Even Professor Snape, not that he was looking at him at all, in fact the teen thought he was going to many lengths to ignore him, which after last night wasn't a nice feeling.

He tried to push past these emotions, it was Christmas, it was a happy day… everyone with their families.

 _Oh._

That realisation hit him hard then he saw Narcissa holding Draco's hand in a loving gesture. Without Molly Weasely fussing over him like she had in the past, there was an emptiness which began creeping into his chest. He had no family… Now that he wasn't friends with Ron, he'd lost his mixed family. He could never go to the Burrow again with the spat still hanging in the air between his ex-best friend.

He was alone.

Standing suddenly and excusing himself, he only just made it through the door when a tear slipped down his cheek and he sobbed. Severus's eyes flicked straight to the doorway his student had disappeared through and straightened in his seat, listening to any movement outside of the room.

Harry was taking two stairs at a time towards his bedroom where he grabbed his coat and scarf. If Draco could have his mother and Ron have his family around him on Christmas Day, then Harry firmly believed that he should also be able to be with his parents.

His feet thudded lightly against the runner lined hallway as ran across the landing and down the stairs once more. He didn't want anyone stopping him, he was an adult now and he should be able to spend time with his own parents. An elf was standing by the main door when Harry came barrelling towards him and the large ornate door creaked open a little as he slid through the crack.

It was bitterly cold outside but at least the blizzard had passed. His feet crunched under the freezing snow covered gravel driveway and with a deep breath he apparated away to Godric's Hollow. Severus's head snapped up at the sound but remaining calm he turned to Narcissa.

"Forgive me for intruding, Narcissa. Are you expecting visitors today?" He asked carefully.

"No, Severus. Why is that?" The older Witch replied, placing her fork daintily on the side of her plate.

"If you'll excuse me, I must attend to, Mr. Potter." Severus gave her an apologetic gaze, to which she nodded in understanding and then left the room, Draco's eyes following him the whole way.

Harry shoved his hands into his pockets and stood outside his wrecked family home that stood out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of the street. He wondered if it belonged to him, or if the bank had sold it off. _It's a shame no one has fixed it_ , he thought, turning away and walking slowly to the graveyard.

There, sitting amongst all over graves were his parents. Their stone was covered in a light dusting of snow, so with his sleeve he wiped it away so he could read their names. Nothing had changed since the year prior.

 _Pain._

 _Anguish._

The tears caught him off guard and his eyesight blurred as they gathered before falling. At that, the damn burst, his tears uncontrollable and his pain coming out for the world to see. _It's not fair_ , Harry thought, falling to his knees and burying his face into his hands. _Why me? Why them? Why couldn't we have been a family?_ The questions kept coming. It had been a long time coming. Crying.

His wish, every year on Christmas, had been to have a family. To have his own family. But every year he was let down. He managed to get the Mirror of Erised, then it was moved away. He meet Remus and Sirius, they were going to be a family then Sirius was killed and Remus found a family for himself. He wished desperately that he had the resurrection stone, just think of the conversations he could have at this moment if they were there with him.

 _Loneliness._

He wrapped the coat around himself tighter and a fresh round of tears developed, chilling immediately when they ran down his face. Reaching out and placing a hand on the cold stone of their grave, he let the chill invade his body. He didn't deserve to be warm, he needed that harsh coldness to remind himself of the life he led.

The hand he held out had the signet ring on the third finger of his right hand and its silver shine caught the light of the snow surrounding him. The Lion and the Serpent. It had a nice symmetry to it, showing him that he was both a brave and ambitious individual. He didn't feel like that right now however, he felt like a coward, a weak and sick Wizard who couldn't be trusted with a wand. Well, if that was how he was perceived, then he shouldn't disappoint right?

Sniffing, Harry pulled his wand and stared at his parents tomb. It was scary to think that one spell, two words, could end his life. No, he couldn't do it… Is this how he wanted to be found? Sighing he placed his wand in front of him by his knees and saw the raised scar at the top of his right wrist.

Professor Snape was right, he needed to be at peace with these. He needed to find a way to find that happiness once more and with this in mind, he pulled up his right sleeve a little and saw more of the cuts. Bile rose in his throat when he saw them and promptly pulled the sleeve down again just as he heard the distant crack of apparition.

 _Took him long enough_ , Harry thought and picked up his wand again, aiming it at the grave and charming a wreath filled with lillies to the base. Shutting his eyes with the pain of his tears, he sobbed louder and leaned forward so that his forehead touched the snow. Why was the pain so great? Why couldn't someone take it all away from him?

Severus stood at the edge of the cemetery, his cloak tightly done up and nuzzling his nose into the scarf he wrapped around his neck. To see Harry physically fine was pleasing to see but he did narrow his eyes at the fact his wand was drawn. He didn't want to impede, his presence was just to ensure he was safe which it appeared he was.

When the sobs got louder however, Severus thought he should intervene. The last thing he wanted was for his Slytherin to implode. _Again_. So, he carefully walked closer, hearing the sobs continue with no clear intention of letting up.

"Harry?" His voice was soft, he didn't want the teen to push him away.

Severus watched the teen hide his face completely but the sound of crying stopped, making way for ragged breaths and jerked movements. He could understand how lonely it was, all the boy wanted was a family, nothing had changed since the day he was born. Everyone wanted a family, to feel loved and accepted, cherished. Well, neither of them really had that, when it all boiled down.

Movement in front of him pulled his attention back to what he was here for, well, _who_ he was there for and the shaking teen stood slowly. His pants were visibly wet from the knees down and a deep part of Severus wanted to take him back to Malfoy manor and give throw him in the bath. He was going to catch a cold if he stayed out here any longer.

Seeing how upset the teen was, Severus began struggling with a guilt that he'd not felt in quite some time. Whilst not completely responsible for the death of Lily Potter, he certainly had an incredibly large part to play in it. It was in this guilt that he realised he should be trying to take the pain away, comfort the boy, make him feel safe.

Stepping forward, Harry half turned towards him and without thinking more, Severus wrapped his arms around his Slytherin's shoulders, holding him tightly and resting his chin on the boys head. The body started shaking and Severus soon realised it was because Harry had started crying once more. His heart was going out to the younger Wizard, something that some might laugh at but deep down, he was human too. He felt emotions just like everyone else, just choosing not to outwardly express himself like others did. If he had of, he would have been dead many years ago.

Feeling Harry pull back, he looked down when hands fisted his jacket and their eyes met. Harry's wet eyes glistened in the brightness of the snow surrounding them and he wiped the teens cheek with a thumb, cradling his head with the other. His Slytherin looked so broken, so _helpless_.

 _He_ did this, Severus caused this to happen.

Drowning in the eyes of Lily Potter, Severus closed his eyes, saying a silent prayer that somehow, he could make this all better. That one day, Harry Potter, a war hero, would smile again and find happiness in the world. Currently, he felt as though he was sharing Harry's ache, certainly the subtle tugs of his heartstrings made him aware that he was in pain also.

He was holding the boy tightly, an arm wound around his waist, the other carding through cold brunette hair before settling at the base of an equally cold neck. The warmth that then proceeded to press against his lips in that next moment was completely unexpected. He'd been seen unguarded, vulnerable… and Harry was using this. Those lips, so soft and innocent, unmoving just pressing. So foreign.

Then, as soon as they were there, the warmth disappeared. Opening his eyes Severus was forced to look at horrified green gems. At this, he realised what had happened, the older Wizard so wrapped up in his own battles he hadn't even processed the blatantly severe fact that his student had kissed him. Harry Potter had felt so lost and desperate for – _something_ – that he'd reached up to kiss him and what's worse, he had let it happen.

When Harry tried pushing away from him he refused to let the boy go. He wasn't angry, not in the slightest. These were the actions of someone so broken that they acted on impulse to feel something. Harry Potter certainly had an odd death wish.

"Sir – "

Severus grabbed the back of his Slytherin's head and pushed in into his jacket to mute any talking. Talking wasn't what either of them needed right now, not after that. Instead, they stood there in the cold for a while longer, time had stopped or sped up, neither of them were conscious of how long they'd been there. However, when Severus felt the first bite of cold seeping through his own coat, he squeezed the boy and apparated them back to the Manor.

 **. . .**

 _ **Ooooooooh**_


	23. Chapter 23

**_._**

 ** _I felt so bad for leaving you guys waiting before so I've smashed out this chapter to make up for my delayed sins! I hope it's up to par :D_**

 ** _. . ._**

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Darling, I love you - you're too adorable, thank you for commenting! I'm so glad you're reading this story :D I miss our chats!**_

 **#chaokitten247:**

 _ **Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing comments :3 Unfortunately, cliff hangers and teasing are my specialty (my friend Onyx would definitely attest to this). But wait no longer for an update, we are now back on track! I hope you enjoy this chapter too.**_

 **#surfingprincess25:**

 _ **Agh, I'm so sorry... There's a lot more teasing to come yet before anything happens *bites nails* Don't hate me :P**_

 **#Evelyn Harrison:**

 _ **Sorry, not sorry? Hehe. Patience a bit longer! Plenty of other teasing moments are coming up :D**_

 _ **. . .**_

Harry woke in the morning feeling awful. His head pounded and his muscles ached from being out in the cold for so long. The rest of Christmas day had been uneventful and once he had returned back from Godric's Hollow with his Professor they had gone their separate ways; albeit hesitantly.

 _Kissing a Professor._

Harry thought he'd done everything dim-witted and reckless over his years at Hogwarts, and actually in his life. But to have kissed his teacher? Like Hermione had said when he'd broken into Professor Snape's office – _Out of all offices, it just had to be Professor Snapes?_ – Well, he'd really outdone himself this time. His head throbbed, a reminder of his devastatingly painful headache.

He didn't want to surface today, he wanted to stay in bed, wrapped up in the most luxurious of sheets and covers where he would be warm. Draco wouldn't have allowed for this, so he tried sitting up in bed when the pain radiated through his skull once more, he couldn't go down to breakfast feeling like this. The sensitivity to every movement was akin to receiving a bludger to the head and groaning loudly he cradled his forehead.

Perhaps, Draco had something he could take for this…

Wandering down the corridor, he rapped gently on the teen's door when he heard another open from along the corridor. Turning his head slowly and looking over his shoulder he saw his Professor emerge but quickly snapped his head back towards the door he was standing in front of. When the soft padding of feet disappeared, he let out a breath and dropped his shoulders. It seemed Draco was already down at breakfast, there was no answer.

He was going to have to face the man before long, he couldn't just ignore what had happened. Even though he felt incredibly stupid for what he'd done. _Kissing a teacher… really Harry_. Getting dressed into something a little more appropriate, Harry concluded that he needed to get away from the manor for a little while. With the weather holding out, he thought it might be a good day to finally get to the beach and enjoy some of the fresh air.

He went to take his wand off the bedside table when he noticed his wand sitting on something that hadn't been there before, a small bar of chocolate. Frowning he found the edge of his bed and took a seat, there was chocolate next to his bed. When did it get put there? _How_ did it get there?

 _Eat, you'll feel better._

Remus's voice invaded his sore head and he smiled softly, reaching out to pick it up. Well, he _did_ have a headache and normally once he'd had some of the confectionary it would get better. He really thought a potion would be best but… _What if Professor Snape left it there?_ The man must have known he'd feel utterly disgusting today. He could only live in hope that things wouldn't be awkward.

The chocolate melted on his tongue as he popped it into his mouth and he closed his eyes, falling back against his mattress to look up at the ceiling. It provided him with comfort, small as it might and a lazy smile crossed his face.

Down in the dining hall, Narcissa was making herself a cup of tea and eyeing the empty spot next to her son. She met Draco's eye when he turned to her and she suggested that he go up and get his friend. With a nod, Draco pushed himself away from the table, taking the piece of toast he was eating with him. When he arrived at Harry's room, the door was ajar and he could see the brunette lying on top of the sheets. Scoffing at the state of him he announced his presence and the brunette slowly sat up with an expression that looked pained.

"Bloody hell." Draco said, stopping half way into the room. "What happened to you? Is this about yesterday?"

Harry shrugged and nodded, fighting back a yawn.

"Breakfast?" Harry mumbled.

"Mother sent me up to get you, she's worried too. Did something happen with Professor Snape or…?" He trailed off, not sure how far he should be prying.

"It's nothing personal, Draco. I just… It's finally hitting me what I've lost. It was hard to see the love Mrs. Malfoy has for you when I don't have that any more. I was part of the family with Ron and his parents, brothers… even Ginny. I don't really fit anywhere now."

Draco blinked in surprise. He really had no family left? He'd lost his best friend – even though it confused him as to why they ever _were_ friends – and he'd been moved houses to be around people who potentially hated him. This teen confused him completely. Why would he have given up his adoptive family just to spend the break here? He had to know.

"Why are you here, then?"

"You asked me first." Harry replied instantly and Draco averted his eyes at the cutting sentence, "And because you've been a better friend this year than Ron has." Harry stood up at this and walked over.

"You got that bit right." Draco murmured and Harry let a small smile appear.

"Your mother is waiting for us, right?"

"I can say you're not feeling well."

"Professor Snape would come storming up here, I'd rather not have another encounter with him." Harry was already at the door and waited for Draco to join him.

"Where did you go yesterday anyway?"

"To see my parents." Harry replied plainly as he kept walking.

 _Oh_.

Draco bit his bottom lip and wondered how their Defence Professor, _his_ Godfather, knew where Harry would have gone on Christmas day. Bizarre as it was, he knew there was something between them he didn't know about. It was different than teacher and student, Merlin, it was even different between him and his Godfather.

"Oh goodness, Harry. You simply look dreadful." Narcissa commented when they walking into the dining hall.

 _Must be where Draco gets it from_ , he thought as she snapped her fingers and he took a seat.

She was talking to a house elf but he wasn't listening, instead his attention was focussed on the older Wizard sitting in front of him who was staring into his mug. _I guess he's mad with me…_ Harry concluded and reached for a glass of water that appeared in front of him suddenly.

"Harry, there is a tonic in there to perk you up." He looked over at the Witch and smiled gratefully.

"Thank you." He replied, downing the entire drink.

It tasted sweet, like candy but it was extremely refreshing. Immediately he felt a lot more energy that he'd had before and closing his eyes with relief, the headache vanished also.

"Perhaps the two of you should get outside today. The fresh air should do some good." Narcissa commented, looking out the window and seeing a small ray of sunshine in the distance.

She had been correct of course, the cold wind brushed past Harry's face as he raced Draco to the sandy shores. Sitting on a torn up log, their brooms leaning against it also, they took the time to enjoy and relax.

"I wish we didn't have homework to do." The blonde was poking a stick into the sand.

"It's going to be the last few months of our education. Sort of… scary. Don't you think?" Harry responded, watching a wave come crashing against the large rock along the shore.

Draco hummed. It certainly was going to be interesting what everyone would be doing. He still hadn't worked out his own plan yet and the time was coming upon them to start making those types of decisions.

"We've talked about it before but do you know what you're going to do?"

"Once we graduate?" Harry asked and his friend nodded. "I haven't really thought about it. I'd like to go travelling though, get out and see the world. Not everyone knows who I am… well I'm going to naively believe they don't."

 _Travelling?_ Draco had never thought of that. He had been many places with his parents growing up but now he was an adult, he could explore what he wanted to. The world was completely open for him.

"Has your future changed?" Draco was pulled from his thoughts at the question.

"Not that I'm aware of. Mother hasn't said anything."

"Hmm." Harry propped his head up as he looked out over the ocean, waves were crashing but at the same time they flowed together seamlessly.

"Sometimes I feel like the waves represent what's going on in my head. Utter chaos…" The brunette trailed off.

"Like a tsunami is building." Draco finished, now looking out at the ocean.

Harry let out a puff of air, nodding. His tsunami broke yesterday it seemed, but he could feel another one developing; and this time it wasn't because of school or his friends falling out. It centralised around one man, one action… one _stupid_ mistake. It played over in his mind, over and over, like the waves that continually crashed against the shore. Why did he have to do it? It was utter madness – but those lips felt so good.

Closing his eyes, his mouth tingled as the scene floated in front of him. Standing on the cold snow, surrounded in silence, just the two of them. Snorting, Harry realised that a cemetery wasn't the most romantic of spots to have had this weakness. _Madness_ , he repeated and shook his head.

"He's concerned about you. Actually, they both are." Draco commented, breaking the vocal silence.

"Professor Snape?" Harry frowned, had something been said about yesterday?

"I've known Professor Snape a long time and he's always been so reserved. You could never tell what he was thinking, as you well know, his emotions are hard to read."

Harry's frown deepened as he turned his head to look at Draco.

"All the years I've known him and after all the trials this family and he have been through… Not _once_ has he ever looked at me, the way he looks at you."

Harry blinked, was he missing something?

"I'm not saying that he doesn't care about me. I know he does. He protected me from a lot of the – from some of the gory situations my family was subjected to." Draco's voice was forlorn and guilt worked its way into Harry's body.

"I'm sorry, I don't – "

"What are you apologising for? I'm telling you this so you won't make his life harder than it is and that's not saying you're a burden. Rather… the opposite."

Harry's mind was reeling. Professor Snape really cared about him? _Impossible_. The man was a dank, sour Wizard that had a bee in his bonnet about life in general... No, that was wrong. What was he kidding, Severus Snape was many things and caring definitely had to be one of them. He'd never really paid that much attention to the softer looks he may have received, they all seemed either hard or just blank with narrowed eyes.

"Just thought you should know that before you start blowing off his interests as nagging." Draco shrugged and then stood up, the breeze starting to seep through his coat.

"Coming?"

"I think I'll stay here for a bit longer." Harry replied, straddling the log so he could lay on it flat.

"Suit yourself."

A moment later, Harry was left on the beach alone. But he didn't feel alone, he was experiencing something different, something strange. _So, Professor Snape doesn't mind my company? I bet that was prior to yesterday…_ Harry growled but he couldn't work himself up to be angry or even disappointed. What happened had been done, he couldn't change the past.

 **. . .**

"Do you know where, Professor Snape is?" Harry came into one of the sitting rooms and found Draco spread out in front of the fire working on homework.

"One of the studies, he'll be marking no doubt. Try the second door on the right through there."

Harry paused outside the door, took a deep breath and then knocked. When he was granted entry, he opened the wooden door slowly and peeked inside. The man wasn't looking in his direction so he fully presented himself, then shut the door with a soft click. The study was quite large, much larger than necessary for just a study. It was larger than his bedroom and he'd thought _that_ was spacious.

"Potter…" Severus was surprised to see the teen and quickly looked back down at the paper he was marking.

Harry didn't know how he felt at the obvious dismissal of his presence. Not sure how he had expected to be greeted, this apparently was not it. He felt his cheeks grow warm as yesterday materialised in his mind and biting his bottom lip, he thought that perhaps he shouldn't have come here.

"Sir, I – "

"Your pain on a family orientated holiday is understandable and expected." Severus refused to look up in fear of something he might see.

So, they weren't going to address the kiss at all? Harry huffed softly and nodded, feeling extremely silly. He should just go and do his homework, forget like it ever happened. _Something I'm good at anyway_ , he thought bitterly and turned to leave.

"Harry, wait."

 _Hope._

Harry didn't turn around, he remained facing the door with his hand on the knob waiting for what was to come. There wasn't an angry undertone to the man's voice, in fact it was quite difficult to say _Harry_ in negative connotations. _Potter_ , could be spat out but not _Harry_ , it was softer.

"I will be done within the hour. Be back here then."

Harry swallowed and nodded.

"Wear a short-sleeved garment." Severus added, just when he heard the door open.

Confused, Harry looked over his shoulder and caught the end of his Professor glancing back down at the paper that was in front of him. It was the height of winter, so a tee shirt sounded absurd. It didn't matter what the temperature was outside, in the manor was warm, but it sounded odd.

However, when he went to his bedroom and went about finding his favourite light blue tee shirt with the dark blue hemming he realised why he had been requested to do this. By wearing a tee shirt, it would expose his arms. He was going to have to wear a jumper or his hoodie because there was no way he'd be walking around the place with a tee shirt on.

He was growing nervous when the hour was up. He sat on his bed with a worried, twisting feeling in his stomach. He actually felt rather nauseous. He had no doubt that if he didn't show however, that he would be found. Professor Snape was good with these sorts of things and it caused a shiver to run the length of his spine in anticipation. There was still some chocolate on the bedside table, and he considered eating it but thought better of it when his stomach lurched.

Severus couldn't focus on the last exams he was marking and kept looking at the clock. What had happened the day prior was… inexcusable; he shouldn't have entertained the teen quite like he had. He could only imagine how confused Harry must have been feeling afterwards but it wasn't as though Severus had experience in this area to know what to do. The actions had shocked him into not thinking about consequences and now – well, now he… he wanted to experience that again.

A knock on his door caused his breath to hitch and he told the boy to come in. Harry looked very nervous, he could understand and didn't feel bad in the slightest for what they were about to do. Christmas was over now and they had almost two weeks before school started back to deal with the issues Harry had. Casting what happened yesterday aside, it wouldn't do well to dwell on it and would spell trouble for them both.

Standing, Severus went over to the two arm chairs that were positioned in front of the fireplace and moved them so they faced each other. Setting himself in one of the chairs, he motioned for the teen to take the other one but looked into the roaring fire as Harry moved towards him. Once seated, Severus crossed his legs and leaned casually to one side, regarding his Slytherin before speaking.

"The promise of dealing with your cuts after break, I have decided to bring forward. Seeing as we now both have two weeks under the same roof, I thought it wise to start now."

Harry groaned and slumped in his chair.

"Yes, Harry and this time you cannot escape from me. We will deal with these, you will come to accept them and together we can move forward."

 _I will free your mind_.

Severus's own words sent a shudder flowing through him, he hadn't known what possessed him to act like that back then but the teen seemed to silently goad him into acting. Now however, things were a little different but he couldn't explain how just yet.

"I'd rather not do this." Harry replied, full well knowing that the day prior he'd sworn to himself that he'd address the scars.

"I am very aware of that, Harry." Severus set his lips in a hard line and gazed into the fire for a moment.

Harry did the same and they fell into a comfortable silence whilst each of them processed what was happening. Severus then nodded to himself and adjusted in his seat, causing Harry to look at him.

"The intention is not to break you, but to free you from the pain that you administer to yourself on a daily basis. Whilst I cannot control your dreams, the more physical side of your trauma I _can_ help with. Therefore, to ensure both of us are comfortable I suggest we use a colour system, such as a 'safe word', for want of a better phrase." Severus emphasised his point with quotation gestures and Harry swallowed, the twisty nervous feeling growing, mixing with his anxiety.

"It is not my wish to corner you, or push you so far that you feel trapped. I need to know that you will be open for discussions at any stage of this process."

Harry half shrugged, looking unsure.

"Muggles have those… lighting contraptions, yes? That helps in directing traffic."

"Traffic lights?" Harry's expression morphed into something pained and Severus found his heart skip a beat thinking he'd said something wrong but he pushed ahead regardless.

"Green means that everything is fine, we can continue and it is safe. Yellow, is slow down or in our case can represent the need to stop where we are at and analyse the situation. Call yellow, and a discussion must be had before moving forward. Then red, that means we stop where we are but do not use this lightly. Red means we immediately stop then regroup."

"I'm not sure how I feel about green being associated with this." Harry replied in a soft voice once the man was done.

"Then we can choose another colour. Anything."

"Blue?" Harry offered, it was calming, just like the ceiling in Ravenclaw's common room.

"Blue can work. Now, having said this I assume you now know why I asked you to change clothing?"

Harry nodded and fiddled with the cuff on his zipped hoodie, not meeting the man's eye but feeling every inch of his body being pierced by those onyx orbs. He was a fool, he shouldn't have come down here. He shouldn't have bloody changed and then the man wouldn't have been able to do anything.

"Please remove your right arm from your jumper." Harry's eyes snapped up and he swallowed, eyes widening slowly.

"Did I, or did I not say we were going to be addressing your scars."

"You did but…" Harry trailed off, thinking about what he could say and immediately had an idea. "Yellow."

Severus simply raised an eyebrow, there was no cheek and he was quietly proud of the teen for using his brain. This was precisely the reasoning behind this system and taking a moment, he sat back in his chair. Satisfied the boy would be taking this seriously.

"Then let's discuss."

"I don't feel comfortable showing you."

"Showing me? Or seeing them yourself?" Severus remained calm as he studied Harry's face, attempting not to admire the way his complexion radiated under the warm glow of the fire.

"This will only work if you are honest, even if it is simply to yourself." The older Wizard reminded and hesitantly Harry nodded.

"Both. I feel self-conscious about showing you and I feel sick when I have to look at them, so I don't look at them." Harry slumped further into his chair.

"I can assure you, there will be no judgement from me." Severus casually held out his hands and then motioned to Harry's arm.

Grumbling, Harry wrangled his right arm from within the hoodie but promptly looked away into the fire so he didn't have to look at the marks. Getting a fright when his seat started to slide forward, his knees slid between his Professors before the man moved forward. They were incredibly close, their chairs almost touching if it weren't for the fact their legs were in the way. Harry's breathing hitched when his leg brushed against his Professor's and he had to avert his eyes, a pleasurable jolt making something jerk. He hoped the dim lighting produced by the fire would cover this up.

Severus reached out and carefully took Harry's wrist in his fingers, the other hand cradling higher up his arm as he leaned forward and looked over the raised lines. Harry was refusing to look his direction but he wouldn't push it just yet. Instead, with his thumb, he ran it over a couple of lines, stroking the teens forearm as if it were completely normal. It caused the younger Wizard to slowly look at him and when they made eye contact he could see his pupils dilate.

"They're ugly." Harry commented, then hesitantly looked between them where his arm was being held.

"Harry, these do not define you."

"But I will never forget this experience."

"That may be, but you could choose to change your opinion. Think of them as a learning tool. You don't like the look of them? Okay, do not act it again, do not mark your body with more. Use it to motivate your growth." Severus moved further up his arm and he tensed, not understanding what the man was doing.

"Yellow…"

"I am mapping your skin. Do you wish for me to stop?" Severus asked, going to pull his hands back but when Harry shook his head, he let a gentle smile tug at his lips before nodding and continuing.

As Harry got used to the touch, he sighed and continued to watch as finger brushed up and down his arm in careful, repetitious movements. He considered the action and had to remind himself that it was easy for someone to just discard the scars when they weren't the one wearing them. Frowning, Harry's eyes went to his Professor's left arm and realised that the man _did_ actually understand what it meant to have imperfect skin.

"I feel frustrated in myself when I think about them." Harry started, and Severus moved his eyes from the soft but marked arm to vulnerable green eyes in front of him. "I wasn't in my right mind… and I can't help but wonder if I would have done this if I'd… known."

"And you still cannot remember anything?"

"It's all a blur." Harry admitted and bit his bottom lip as he stared into the older Wizards eyes.

"You are doing brilliantly right now, Harry. I need you to know this." Harry nodded. "Before you pull away I am going to run something by you."

Immediately Harry tensed and took a deep breath, he had a feeling he knew what was coming.

"I would appreciate it if you let me finish before interrupting. Yes?" Severus went to move back and took his hands with him, he wasn't blind to notice the disappointment that followed the action but refrained from reaching out again.

"Okay." Harry nodded and sat up in his chair.

"This is not going to be for your benefit entirely. I am not expecting to cover off this topic tonight either, as I said before you made good progress this afternoon. However, in the interest of your immediate health, I would like you to present your left arm to me so that I may inspect the healing of the scars under the bandaging. You may look away, close your eyes, Merlin you may even cover your face, but I need to have a look at them."

Harry wanted to scream red during the man's speech but showed enough restraint to contain himself and sat numbly in his seat. The man wanted to pry under his bandages, to look at the mark he'd left on himself, the branding. If no one had told him it was two scars, he fully believed that he'd have carved a dark mark into his flesh but that idea was fading as quickly as his other idea grew to fruition.

"I understand your hesitance completely." Severus commented, breaking the silence that had fallen over them.

"Do it." Harry's face morphed into a pained resignation and turned away.

"Yellow." Severus replied calmly and Harry turned back. "If it is going to cause _that_ degree of pain, I will not continue. It is clearly important to you."

"You said that it was for my health, so do it." Harry didn't meet his eye but was soon forced to when he felt fingers on his chin, turning his face around.

"And I meant that." Severus was extremely close to his student, he could see something else morph across the teens features.

He could do it, go against all morals to give Harry what he wanted. He didn't think he could forgive himself if he did, however. No, instead he moved his hands and took Harry's left one in his own, waiting for confirmation to continue.

"Blue." Harry's voice was small and he looked away, shrugging out of his hoodie completely and showing the white bandages.

Taking the forearm carefully, Severus ran his fingers over the skin before moving to the discoloured bandages. Shaking his head, he swore and grumbled about the teen's lack of hygiene. This couldn't continue, but a sudden thought came to mind and he narrowed his eyes.

"Forgive me for having to ask, Harry… How do you get along bathing?"

Harry's head whipped round with wide eyes that soon turned confused. Severus hadn't expected quite the quick reaction and found a warmth growing in his cheeks and down his neck at the steady gaze he was given. Clearing his throat, he went to clarify what he'd said when the teen opened his mouth to speak.

"I just use whatever I'm wearing… then spell it dry." Harry felt extremely ashamed.

"That is not healthy." Severus responded, going to unwrap the bandages.

"I know."

Shaking his head lightly again as he pulled away the last layer to reveal angry purple scars that contrasted with the pale porcelain skin they were etched into. Whilst he had been prepared to see them, he was not prepared for his own reaction and he swallowed a thick mass that felt as though it was developing in his throat. It tasted metallic and heavy, making it hard to breath but he knew this was all in his head.

"They look fine, all considering." Severus said softly and covered the marks with his other hand.

Inspecting the teen's face, he seemed to be struggling with something and he wanted to know what it was. Leaning around slightly so he could get a better look at the youthful complexion, Harry turned his head to look at him on the verge of tears.

"What is going on inside your head?"

"Anger, frustration… confusion." Harry rattled them off then took a deep breath. "Disappointment."

"All natural."

"Is it bad?" Harry asked, not moving his eyes from the older Wizard's.

"They will get better." Severus whispered calmly, making sure the marks were covered.

"When I first realised that these weren't normal cuts like the rest of them… I thought I had carved a dark mark into my arm." Harry's voice cracked at the end but Severus made no movement.

"Then Dr. Fletcher hinted at two cuts. I have suspicions but…" Harry bit his lip and then looked away.

"You have no desire to know what they are?"

"I don't want to be in pain."

Severus let out a breath and moved back a little, his hand still covering the marks as he didn't want to put the same bandage back on. The teen needed clean ones but none that were in this room.

"I need to get fresh bandages for you. I meant what I said about discussing this later, one step at a time." He explained.

"Thank you." Harry whispered, a tear working its way down his cheek.

Pulling Harry's hoodie from behind him and placing it over the boys arm, he pushed his chair back and stood. Explaining that he would be back momentarily, Severus disappeared through the door and suddenly Harry felt empty. The bubble he'd been inside with this older Wizard, his Professor, was now gone and a shiver worked its way down his spine. His arms were covered and he was tempted to peak, just so his suspicions were confirmed but found that he couldn't bring himself to move.

Now that he could relax somewhat, Harry realised that he was actually rather tired and his body exhausted. With the fire crackling away beside him, he drew his legs up and swung them over the arm, shifting so he could sit sideways. Resting his head to the side he allowed his eyes to close, his breathing even. It felt odd not having something on his left arm, it felt lighter in a way but he didn't dare to move it and allowed himself to relax.

When Severus came back into the room, he saw the state his Slytherin was in and immediately his face softened. Placing the items in his unoccupied chair, he went back to the desk and looked down at the remaining marking he had to complete. Not wanting to disrupt what appeared to be a peaceful sleep, he sat and pulled his marking forward.

The room was peaceful, quiet and for a moment Severus realised it felt... nice. His gaze kept flicking to the other occupant at various intervals, he was expecting him to wake any minute. It was late in the afternoon now and the warm room was such a beautiful contrast to the weather outside.

A soft moan came from by the fire and his eyes flicked up, seeing the teen rouse after an hour. Preparing himself to stand, he watched as Harry stretched in the chair and sat up, the hoodie falling off his lap and onto the floor. Holding his breath, he watched in painfully slow motion as the teen glanced down at his left arm only to pale even further than he usually did.

He did the only thing he could think of in that moment and jumped up, within a few strides he had moved over to the boy who looked as though he would let out a scream at any moment. Instead his Slytherin made the move to take his wand and immediately it was snatched out of his hand.

"No, not like this." Severus said, taking the teen in his arms and holding onto him tightly.

The scream he had been anticipating finally broke forth a moment after he pulled the teen to his chest. If he hadn't had a firm planting of his feet on the ground, the sudden pull as Harry's legs buckled would have sent them both toppling over but they remained upright.

"Hush." Severus was carding a hand through the unruly hair in an attempt to calm him but it didn't seem to help.

 _Lightning bolts? Fucking lightning bolts?_ Harry screamed in his head, screwing his eyes closed but it was no use trying to rid the image that engraved into his retinas. His whole life, he had looked in the mirror and seen the scar on his forehead. He had finally been rid of it, it was gone, the last reminder of Voldemort had disappeared. Only to be replaced by two of them carved into his arm when he was having a weak moment. It was unfair, it shouldn't be like this…

Tears formed and burst from his eyes.

"You are safe, Harry."

 _Mama loves you. Dada loves you. Harry, you are safe, you are strong_.

"No…" Harry choked out, his mother's voice in his head trying to soothe things only made it worse and he felt something in his heart snap painfully, then he heard himself screaming out the tears.

"What is done is done." Severus didn't know what else to say but felt when Harry had hit rock bottom of his emotions.

Looking behind him, his seat was conveniently placed to the side, so pulling Harry with him he sunk into the arm chair with the teen nestled on his lap. Under normal circumstances, there was no way he would have condoned this behaviour on himself, but this wasn't a time where he could leave the boy to his own vices. No, this was what he'd hoped had happened long ago, being at the bottom. It was almost as if he _felt_ the teen's heart cracking, breaking in two and he found his own pulling at the pain exploding from the younger Wizard.

It certainly was a rough few days for not only Harry, but for himself as well.

Harry pushed his face into the rough black robes and cried. His eyes remained shut for now, his left arm was very close to his face as his Professor held him close and he didn't want to run the risk of looking at it again. He felt an idiot. A reckless, blithering idiot. _Really? Lightning bolts?_ He couldn't believe it, his suspicions correct but had been in denial about it since he'd been discharged from the Infirmary.

As he started to calm, he became more aware of the hand that had stilled in his hair and nuzzled his face against the man's shoulder as the crying subsided. He had never been held like this. _Never_. It felt… Safe, secure. He should have been held like this when he was younger. His father should have held him when he cried, his mother should have been there to play with his hair. He missed out on so much.

His breathing became ragged and uneven, his body jerking as his senses came back to him. He was sitting on his Professor's lap, he was being held like a small child. But he never wanted to move, he felt like this was where he belonged. Sniffing, he went to shift but the arms were heavy around his shoulders and he found that he couldn't. Instead, he stared into the flames, managing to turn his left arm over so he wasn't looking at the marks.

"I need to ask, Harry… What were you about to do with your wand?" He felt the teen tense and felt that was answer enough.

"Take it back, I don't want it." Harry's voice was partially muffled by the man's robes, the action of Harry's head almost _nuzzling_ against his shoulder and neck causing a pleasurable shudder to work its way through his body.

"If that's what you need, then I will oblige. I will keep it in here, so you know where it is."

A movement on his shoulder was all the answer he received to this as they continued to sit in a companionable silence. However, when a knock was heard at the door, Harry tensed and went to move away when the arms holding him wouldn't budge. Fearing that it was Draco he refused to look around, those fears only confirmed when he heard the surprised voice of his friend.

"Excuse me, sir… Mother wanted to let you know dinner was almost ready."

"Thank you, we will be there shortly." Severus replied, unmoving.

Closing the door behind him, Draco's heart clenched in his chest painfully. To be held and comforted, how he ached for it to be him. He ambled back to the dining room, thinking about all the times he needed that comfort and not receiving it. His mother had given him the occasional touch but that was all. Oh, he craved the love he felt was lacking and it didn't matter that he was eighteen.

Walking into the room, his face ashen, his mother looked at him with worry. Approaching her slowly, his grey eyes welled gently with unshed tears.

"Darling, what's wrong?" She stood from her seat and walked up to him cautiously, "Has something happened?"

"Hold me?" His voice was hollow.

He'd never asked for such comforts before, he'd felt that he was never worthy or that it was weak. But seeing Harry, that Wizard wasn't weak, just someone who had been through a lot. He too had been through a lot but what surprised him the most was that she didn't have to think about his request. She moved swiftly and carefully, embracing him with a firm but loving hug.

They held on to each other for more than just a few minutes, time seemed to stop when he was finally embraced and she wasn't pushing him away. Unbeknownst to him, when he went to finally pull away he caught the breeze on his cheek and realised he'd started crying. The confused expression on the Witches face only fuelled his sadness and she took him again in her arms.

"Not once, in all the years have you asked for this." She said softly, moving back to kiss him on the cheek.

"I never felt like I could." He replied softly and her expression changed from worry to hurt.

A clearing of a throat from behind him alerted the presence of his friend and Professor. Looking over his shoulder, the four of them didn't say a word but silently understood what was happening. It was different for the students than the adults.

 **. . .**

 ***wipes tears***


	24. Chapter 24

_**.**_

 _ **I spent so long trying to edit this chapter that it ended up being two days late. Oops! Let me know if it's not up to scratch... I may end up changing a couple of things.**_

 _ **Thank you for all the amazing comments in the last chapter!**_

 _ **. . .**_

Both teens had woken the following morning feeling very sorry for themselves. Harry in particular had seemed the most affected and at breakfast Draco had withheld comments about the puffy red eyes. Instead, he dragged his brunette friend outside into the cold weather and grabbed their broomsticks. Whilst the weather wasn't kind on their faces, it felt soothing for Harry and soon they were hovering over the forest that surrounded the manor. Looking from this height, Harry was still amazed at its grandeur size and asked how large the property was.

"I don't think it really stops until that clearing over there and the same in the other direction." Draco said, hovering close to his friend and pointing in both directions.

 _Wow,_ Harry thought and slipped a leg off his broom so it dangled. Propping his other leg along the handle of his broom to free both hands, he pulled back the sleeve on his left arm just to a point where he could see the end of one bolt. He had elected not to cover it again, he knew what it was now and the only other way people would see it was if he showed them. It still made his heart gather speed when he saw the pink scars but because he'd had a sneaking suspicion on what they were he was not surprised to note that it didn't cloud his judgment. He supposed giving their Professor back his wand had a small part to play in it and they would be discussing more on the subject later.

Sighing, Harry realised that without the aid of his wand, he would now be forced to practice up on his wandless magic. It wasn't a totally foreign concept to him and when he needed it most, his magic always pulled through for him. The night he broke into Professor Snape's classroom popped into his mind at that and he nodded to himself, deciding to start working on this.

"Harry… what happened?"

Looking over to the blonde, he swallowed and pointed his eyes back towards his arm before pulling the sleeve right up to expose both scars. Draco was close enough that he didn't have to move to see what was being uncovered and his nostrils flared before eyes dulled.

"When did you do that?" The blondes voice was timid and because there was little wind, he was clearly heard.

"The night I had that massive meltdown. Last night was the first time I'd laid eyes on them. Couldn't avoid it forever." Harry's voice was whimsical and with his right hand, ran a finger over the raised lines causing a sickening chill to run down his body.

They were silent after this but it wasn't uncomfortable. It seemed they were just happy to be in the air and away from the responsibilities down on the ground. Draco however, wanted to make sure Harry knew that he wasn't alone, showing him these scars clearly meant something. So, he knew he'd have to voice this, otherwise it might never be said.

"I don't judge you. For that." Draco said abruptly, causing Harry to frown in confusion.

"What happened that night. I don't think I've ever said directly to you that I understand what occurred. Seeing those on your arms, I know that every day you're going to look at them and wince, you'll endeavour to keep them covered just so you can deny that they are even there. Pretend that you're not hurt and are perfectly fine. But deep down, you know it's a lie and it eats away at your soul until you can't bear it. There becomes a point where you just hate yourself so much for the marks that are left behind that you try and act like you don't care and then do something else stupid to override the feelings you have when you look at them."

Harry was surprised by the speech, it seemed to capture exactly how he felt about the marks on his arms. But it wasn't until he saw Draco mirror his position on his own broom that he understood what was about to happen.

"I feel that every day." The blonde continued, pulling his own left sleeve up and half presenting it to Harry.

The dark mark had lost some of its bold black markings and had started to fade. He wondered if in time it would be no more than a faint scar like his own marks but only the future could show them that. Harry didn't think he'd ever see this again and seemed fixated for a moment before nodding and looking into sad but understand grey eyes.

"You and I aren't so different in this regard but I refuse to mark myself further because I know that I would hate myself _more_ for that then the mark itself."

"It looks like it's fading." Harry said, it was the only thing that came to mind.

"Yeah, hopefully it won't be more than those." Draco's finger pointed to the white raised lines on Harry's arm below the lightning bolts.

"I appreciate you sharing this… And I can understand the difficulties you're facing or going to face with that mark." Harry gave the teen a half smile, which was returned as they both pulled their sleeves down to shield against the winter chill.

"Hang in there." Draco offered before they were quiet again and Harry found himself looking off in the distance to where he thought there was a built up village or some sorts.

"I gave my wand back to Professor Snape last night."

"You tried to cut yourself again?" Harry noticed the disappointment in the blonde's eyes and voice.

"I'm not even sure _what_ I was going to do… We… It was an accident seeing these and he was at me from the other side of the study in a flash to stop me as I took my wand. I just had it there, between my fingers but I don't know why. He snatched it as soon as he grabbed me, I think he thought I would too. That was what you walked into." Harry adverted his eyes and pulling at his sleeve. "Not one of my proudest moments." He added.

"No one's perfect." Draco responded, gripping onto his broom and nudging Harry's shoulder with a sad smile.

"No." Adjusting himself on his own broom he followed where Draco started turning and they shot off across the sky.

 **. . .**

By nightfall, Draco had disappeared into his bedroom after dinner before meeting Harry in another living room come library sitting area. The brunette was curled up by the fire in a large arm chair reading when he heard the teen enter, the crinkling of plastic pulled his attention. Giving the blonde a sly smirk, he sat up and discarded the book.

"Swallow some of that Gryffindor pride I know you still have and chew this." Draco said, throwing a candy at Harry casually as he sat in front of the fire.

Grinning, Harry sat up onto his knees, one hand on the arm of the chair to hold himself up as he popped the chew in his mouth. Feeling the orange flavouring running down his throat, he let it coat the vocal chords and took a deep breath. Draco was watching in apt fascination before Harry bowed his head then threw it upwards, eyes shut and mouth opening wide.

His own mouth dropped open when he heard the almost deafening roar of a lion coming from his friend. He couldn't hide his joy, it shone brightly in his eyes as Harry went for it again, rearing up and throwing his head up as he growled and roared at the ceiling.

"Wow." Draco said as Harry cleared his throat and sat back down.

"Your turn!" Harry almost bounced in his seat.

Draco looked into the box where the animal chart was, going through the different colours to find one appropriate. He had wished there was a snake in there but seemed out of luck before stumbling across a brown one and shrugged. _What could go wrong?_ He thought briefly and chewed the candy. It was a curious feeling, it seemed like any other fudge but when he started chewing and swallowing it appeared to turn into a liquid, coating his throat generously.

Coughing at the odd sensation, it came out more like a bark from a dog. His eyes went wide and tried to make another noise, speaking properly only for it to come out in a variety of barks and whines. It took him mostly by surprise and he didn't do much after this as it wore off, he huffed realising that Harry was an expert at these but just seeing how excited he'd become was worth the chip to his pride.

"Wicked. You'll get the next one no problem." Harry smiled and slipped off the chair to sit by his friend.

"Unfair advantage. Try this one." Draco passed him a light brown candy with a smirk and watched the teen eat it.

The chirping and jovial echo of a monkey filled the room and for emphasis Harry jumped up, dancing around the room. Draco couldn't hold in the laughter that threatened to burst when he'd passed the chew over and then doubled sideways, holding his abdomen with both arms. Laughing hard, with his eyes half closed, he saw Harry jump back down beside him and wiped a lone tear off his cheek.

"It – suits you – Potter!" Draco gasped lungful's of air between his words and Harry joined in with laughter.

"Try the lion." Harry said, rummaging through the bag for the correct colour.

"Pfft, as if." But even as he said it, Draco reached out and took it cautiously between his fingers.

"Come on, it'll be fun." Harry encouraged and grinned when he saw it being eaten.

The lion had sounded awesome when his friend had done it but Draco wasn't sure if he'd do it to the degree Harry had. It seemed the brunette saw some hesitance and explained how to get the best outcome. He didn't say anything until he felt his throat coated liberally and puffed his chest out as he took a deep breath.

Holding his own breath, Harry sat with crossed legs, his grin never wavering as Draco exhaled an enormous roar of his own. It looked weird seeing the teen do something like this but he couldn't deny that his sadness had disappeared for the moment. It felt just like it had when Ron brought the same lollies back from Egypt and he revelled in the positive environment, even encouraging the blonde to keep going with the different animals.

There were more monkeys, an elephant, pigeon, domestic cat, songbird and more over the course of the hour. The longer they continued, the more they laughed and the closer they became until exhaustion caught up and they collapsed in front of the fire. Harry had his head on Draco's stomach as they lay looking up at the painted ceiling of ancient Wizards that moved about. He let out a long sigh and closed his eyes briefly when a thought came to him about various animals. Deer to be precise.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to become an Animagus?" Draco seemed to speak his mirrored thoughts and he nodded gently.

"I've often wondered it. To be just like my father and godfather." Harry mused, unmoving but feeling the rise and fall of the blonde's breaths.

"Your father was one too? I thought it was just Black." Draco replied and at this Harry turned his head before he was unceremoniously dumped on the floor as the blonde went to sit up.

"All of them were." Harry lamented, coming to sit up, "Even Peter Pettigrew."

"That's rare… Isn't the process extremely difficult?" Draco asked curiously.

"I wouldn't have a clue. My father was a Stag, just like his Patronus." At this Harry smiled gently but then frowned.

"Perhaps registration throws people off?"

"… Maybe."

Harry was staring into the fire for a moment after this, wondering what he might be if he were to master the Animagus form. He would have thought a lion or panther might be suitable with being in Gryffindor but his perception had changed after everything he'd done the past few years. Perhaps something domestic and _tameable_ , then he could blend into the crowds unnoticed.

A light chuckle from beside him forced his focus back to the room and Draco was smiling down at the box.

"We should give one to Professor Snape."

"Draco Malfoy, you sly dog." Harry grinned mischievously but when the hairs on the back of his neck started to stand he thought better of it.

"I have a better idea." Harry was grinning with devious mirth.

Severus was finally settling back at his desk after being curious about what his two Slytherin's were up to. He had snuck out of this office and down the hallway, standing just on the threshold of the living area and watching their interactions. It pleased him to see their friendship strengthening and to see Harry in such a relaxed manner after everything they'd been through together excited a warm feeling to blossom. It pleased him immensely to see him smile, both of them really but Harry's seemed to resonate more with him.

Sighing as he looked at the pathetic exams in front of him, he shook his head and stood, only to walk a step so he could lean against the windows frame and look out at the snow covered landscape. When he had been in school, he had longed for a relationship like Harry and Draco and he had had that for a while until that very fateful day. He was finished with trying to work out why he'd said such an awful thing to Lily Potter. He'd worried and stressed about it for years, knowing full well it got him nowhere every time.

Even after he'd graduated from Hogwarts, there was never another that fit the mould of someone he'd call a friend. He'd resigned himself to the bitter fact that he never would and made it a reality after being pulled closely into the higher Death Eater ranks. He learnt not to trust anyone and partly that had to do with Lucius Malfoy. Alas, it had been Narcissa that he'd grown close with once they had their son which forced him to cozy up with Lucius. Later in the scheme of things it seemed to have benefited his position greatly but he still felt nothing for the senior Malfoy.

Closing his eyes and letting his head rest against the stone work, he took a deep breath to clear his mind of these thoughts. They were the past, he had made closure with most of his demons and realistically made a resigned peace with the rest for now but it wouldn't do to dwell on these. He had a student that needed him to remain strong and letting his own emotions get in the way of his recovery wouldn't be wise – even if that teen was having an impact on his life.

Suddenly however, he stiffened and the air within the room changed. Calming himself and searching the room for the source of change with his magic, he narrowed his eyes and very slowly turned his head in the direction of the fire. From the corner of his eye he could see the study door open ajar even though he could clearly remember having closed it not so long ago.

From his right, there was a low grumble of a growl, one like a predator. Instantly knowing what it was he took a confident breath and went to sit behind the desk once more, looking dead ahead where he thought the noise had come from. _I will not be a fool to Harry's antics_ , he reminded himself and went to open his mouth when a different, lighter growl sounded close to his left. Turning his head and reaching out a cautious hand to remove the invisibility cloak the teen would have been wearing he almost jumped in his skin when a fierce roar erupted from in front and a grinning Harry Potter jumped up.

Recovering from his surprise rather quickly, he forced a glare towards the Slytherin but even he had to admit it was a half assed attempt. Seemingly, the teen knew also which broadened the grin he received. It took his breath away, this boy looked so carefree and happy in front of him when only hours beforehand he had been a mess in the chair in front of the fire.

"Potter." He drawled finally and the teen cocked his head sideways, feeling very accomplished.

"I hope I didn't scare you, sir." There was absolutely no apologetic tones heard in the statement and Severus shook his head softly, the smallest of amused smiles appearing on his face.

 _He looks so much younger when his face softens like that_ , Harry thought but didn't vocalise anything as Draco was standing in the corner beneath the cloak. In fact, Harry thought that perhaps he should come out and went to look in the direction he thought the boy would be, only to hear the creaking of a door behind him. He didn't turn around, his Professor's flickering of eyes behind him was enough to know he'd high tailed it from the room but he didn't mind. He was probably going to be summoned tonight even though it was late because they hadn't spoken all day about what occurred previously in this room.

"I see you had help." Severus commented dryly.

"Why, sir, I have no idea what you're talking about." Harry smiled and half shrugged.

Not believing a word the Slytherin was saying, he went to stand and walked around the desk, shuffling the examination papers as he went to cover them up.

"What can I do for you tonight?" He asked, coming to lean against the front of the desk, making Harry take a step back.

"I'm not sure… I thought perhaps you might have wanted to talk about last night." He replied unsurely.

"Do you need to talk about it, Harry?" He stood straight at this and motioned to the two chairs in front of the fire.

"Oh, well…" Harry ran a hand through his hair awkwardly and averted his eyes, thinking that he should have escaped when Draco did.

"I understand that it was a shock to see those marks, however you seem to have handled it rather well today." Severus made his way to one of the chairs, sitting with a leg crossed.

"I've had a sneaking suspicion for a while now about what they were. It _was_ a shock yesterday but it wasn't around what they were… It's difficult to explain." Harry finally took the other chair and slouched into it.

"Have you been able to look at them today?" Severus regarded him carefully and saw the teen nod.

"It makes me feel hollow. Then it makes me feel angry. Draco seemed to understand when I showed him today, I imagine you do too." Harry wasn't specifically talking to his Professor at that, it was more verbal musings to himself.

"How so?" Severus's face changed to something more calculating and wary, not that Harry noticed this as his attention was focussed more on his jumper than him.

"Draco showed me his dark mark. A lot of what he said made sense, the guilt and the pain. How do you deal with yours, sir? Have you ever accepted it?"

Harry glanced up at the man to find a wild primal rage simmering darkly behind those dark eyes and immediately swallowed. As he sat there waiting for something to happen he realised what he'd said and immediately sat up, an apology on the tip of his tongue when his Professor beat him to it.

"Red."

"Sir, I'm sorry. I wasn't implying - "

"Enough." At this Severus took a deep breath and also shifted in his seat to calm his nerves before he spoke once more.

Harry felt awful, it sounded exactly what it meant and he wished that he'd kept his size nine boot out of his mouth. Honestly, implying the man had a dark mark was probably correct but it wasn't something you brought up in general conversation. He hoped he could salvage this but judging by the dark look he was now receiving he supposed it was time to go and distract himself with something like homework.

"I think you better leave, Potter. We are done for the night."

Even though Harry had just been thinking it, to have the man pushing him away after such a blunder had him feeling empty. It was an awful feeling and he wanted to make things better. Knowing Professor Snape however, he knew that if he wanted the man's respect and attention it wouldn't be by ignoring him but following exactly what he said without arrogance. So silently, he stood and made his way over to the door but hesitated when he reached for the knob.

He was going to say something before he left but when he turned his head he found a very strange sight, Professor Snape was lost in deep thought staring at the fire, but he looked sad. The teen decided that he deserved to feel crap about what he'd just done to the man so he didn't speak and instead slowly made his way back to the living area where he'd dropped his book a few hours ago.

Wanting to find Draco sitting but being disappointed when he wasn't around, he curled up in the chair that was in front of the fire and covered his face. This wasn't how the night was supposed to end.

 **. . .**

Severus Snape was a proud man; a private man. He enjoyed the idea that he could hold his secrets close, that he needn't have told people personal things about this life to have thrown back in his face. But of course, that was before Harry Potter barrelled head first into his life and thought to destroy all that he held close. Mainly that of his privacy.

Did he blame the teen for asking such a personal question? No, not particularly. However it wasn't something that should have been spoken about in such casual climates. He may have had such a conversation with Draco earlier that day but that didn't mean he was going to indulge the brunette.

Only three people in his life had seen such a disgusting imperfection on his skin. Albus Dumbledore, the Minister and Lily Potter. This was aside from the psychotic Tom Riddle that had branded him in the first place, he hadn't even divulged this print to Lucius Malfoy who seemed overly proud of his own mark. He found it revolting, the black ink contrasted harshly with the pale porcelain skin when Tom had risen back to power, thankfully it was fading and likely that Draco's was also.

Despite all of this, Severus still felt bitter that it had been brought up but simultaneously regretted sending Harry away from him. He knew exactly what it looked like and he could have easily been called a hypocrite from running away from the conversation rather than just answering it. How bad could it have gone? What was the question he'd asked anyway… _Have you ever accepted it?_

Looking at the spot on his black robes where he could imagine the serpant like mark, he nodded to himself. Yes, he had accepted it but it hadn't been overnight. There were too many things conflicting and manipulating the situation for him to easily define his acceptance. There were times when he caught sight of it and felt remorse and regret but those feelings were growing far apart.

It was only when he hit a nerve with Harry that things seemed to come back to him. Such as looking him in the eye. Seeing part of Lily there as well as James, almost as though it was mocking him. Lately this had not been the case, seeing the boy in his own right and not that of his mothers or fathers. Harry had developed well into his own person now, as broken as he was at the moment.

 _Damn, I should go an find him_ , he thought and went to sit on the edge of his bed, looking at the door longingly. He should, but then the boy probably needed some time to get his thoughts together. He didn't want to leave the boy alone for too long but one night wasn't going to be an issue… surely, right?

 **. . .**

Exhausted and emotionally drained, Harry fell into a restless and disturbed sleep. It seemed that mere moments after he drifted into the sub conscious mind, the nightmares started.

 _So weak. So… vulnerable_.

Voldemort's voice curled around his mind and the cloak wrapped around his unconscious body. Harry couldn't move, his limbs felt like lead. There was nothing he could do, he couldn't see anthing and was relying on what the man was saying to indicate what was happening. The sickening voice made bile rise in his throat, to a point where he felt like it was choking him as he lay immoble on his back.

 _Look at yourself, Harry Potter. Pathetic._

Harry twisted in his bed, the sheets getting caught in his legs as he convulsed unwillingly.

 _Useless._

A gurgled scream erupted from deep within his body but there was no way anyone would know what was happening within the confines of his bedroom. He was alone and isolated, nothing and no one would ever care or love him.

 _Worthless piece of Half-Blood Wizard._

Harry was fisting the sheets beneath him, his body still contorting and twisting at unnatural angles. Deep within his mind, he wanted to cough as acid burned away the back of his throat. He could see now but it wasn't because he was pulling memories up, it was Voldemort. The derranged maniac was in his head, filling it with the most gut wrenching scenes that had made up Harry's existance.

 _You cannot defy me_.

Harry wanted to scream and shout, he wanted to push the bastard out of his head. He struggled agaisnt the mental bonds forcing him down but to no avail. He saw his mother, the light leaving her eyes. He saw Sirius turning ghost like grey and floating into the veil before disappearing. A flash of green, his heart stopped and eyes consciously went wide, Dumbledore stumbled backwards and disappeared over the railing before Cedric followed.

Everything grew cold, his body was shivering and he couldn't feel his toes. Voldemort was laughing, he was happy that he had Harry restrained at his mercy.

 _Crucio_.

Voldemort cast the curse and Harry convulsed in his dream much like he was doing in person, his cries were blood curdling, his throat feeling raw from the thought of bile and the overuse of his vocal chords. Everything was a blur. What was real and what wasn't? He couldn't tell anymore. He couldn't trust anything.

He was all alone.

He was cold.

"Fucking bastard!" Harry screamed, his body levitating off the bed and being thrown against the adjacent wall.

It was enough to wake him suddenly but was extremely disorientated, so much so that he felt like there was an itch on his left forearm. Agitated and grumbling, he pulled up the sleeve on his pajama's and saw the black serpentine outline adorning his scarred forearm.

" _No… Impossible."_ Harry screamed and ran for it, straight towards the bathroom that joined both rooms.

Gritting his teeth, he felt the sharp needle like pricks to the underside of his feet that immobilised him and collapsed by the large windows. The room was freezing and dressed in just his thin pajama's it seeped right into his skin. Starting to shiver, he wrapped his arms around himself, aware that the movement seemed to crackle beneath him. The only light filtering into the room was from the curtains that were blowing about as if he'd left the door or window open and it was then where he realised they weren't open, but gone completely.

Without his wand he didn't stand a chance to right the room; he wasn't even sure if he would be able to make it through to the bathroom. Not wanting to cry out for help, he did his best to move his way across the floor, getting onto his knees slowly and shuffling. It came as a surprise that he was not already being visited by either his friend or Professor, perhaps that was all he needed to realise his Professor truly was mad at him for what he'd said. It didn't sit well with him at all.

"Draco! _Draco!_ " Harry finally made it into the bathroom and called out to his friend.

He sat, panting lightly as he rested his back against the doorframe unable to continue. There was a pain in his side and at the back of his head but he had no recollection of why they hurt. Clearly he had hurt himself during the dream but it only confused him more that no one had heard; perhaps both of them had put up silencing wards because they were sick of his issues?

"Draco!" He called again, closing his eyes but immediately regretting it when he saw glowing red eyes behind his eyelids.

Stumbling from behind the door ensued shortly after this and soon enough the door opened with a flourish, showing a flustered blonde who fumbled around for the lights. Both of them squinting at the light, Harry adjusted first and watched as his friend's eyes became unbleary and took a drastic shocked expression. He was soon down at his level within a heart beat, his wand secured in his hand tightly.

"Harry, what in Merlin's name happened? Why are you bleeding? Oh man…" Draco's voice was strained and when he looked past the brunette into his bedroom, his eyes widened.

"I don't really know, I woke up like this."

"And destroyed the room in the process? It's freezing." He commented, moving into a crouched position and inching towards the bedroom, "The bloody windows are gone!"

"Shh, keep it down! I don't want Professor Snape to see me like this and I sure as hell don't need him seeing _that_. Help me fix it." Harry was still feeling disorientated and without his wand he knew he'd be useless.

"I doubt a simple _reparo_ will do."

"Professor Dumbledore showed me one once, pass me your wand."

Skeptically, Draco looked down at his friend then back out at the room. The bed had been stripped of all top covers and lay mangled along the wall, beside that the drawers that had housed Harry's clothes were splintered and cracked, said clothes strewn across the room. Not to mention the glass in both windows and doors leading to the balcony were gone and littered the floor in tiny shards. Whatever his friend had done, it certainly wasn't going to take a few minutes… Or maybe this spell would.

"Fine, just don't hurt yourself with it." He snapped, handing his wand over.

The insult went straight over Harry's head and he manouvered his way back into the room, still sitting on the floor and went about waving the wand. Draco huffed and folded his arms, impressed but frustrated that his friend was so proficient in wandless magic when it wasn't even his own wand. Putting that aside, the room slowly started to move about and presumably right itself. He couldn't see much as the _lumos_ he'd cast moments ago was gone in favour of the mending spell.

There was another light switch right by where the blonde was standing, so he leaned around and flicked it on when things had stopped moving. It looked fine now but when he saw movement from below him he could see blood up the side of Harry's legs and feet. Snatching his wand back, he went to sit on the floor and inspected the cuts; they were more like grazes than anything too serious and with his basic knowledge in Healing medicine he pointed his wand at his friend.

"Just relax, Potter. I can fix these." He said by way of explanation, pleased when the wounds cleared up.

"I want to know how you can do this." Harry said softly.

Reaching up to a shelf, the other Slytherin grabbed a facecloth and then stood to soak it under the warm water before sitting back down, resting his shoulder against the other side of the bathroom door.

"It's something not a lot of people know about me. I'm actually really profocient in healing charms, having had to fix some of my classmates up a few times and it helps that Professor Snape is my god father. Before I even came to Hogwarts, I would sometimes spend a day or two over the summer holidays brewing and reading with him. Obviously in recent years I haven't as much because we have a Potions classes now… but it's one of the fonder memories I have."

"That goes a great way of explaining why you seemed to ace potions in the first year. Not fair really."

"I remember that first day well." Draco smiled fondly, wiping Harry's feet of the blood.

"He seriously tore me to shreds just because I was writing down what he was saying."

"Oh, is that all?"

" _Oh, is that all?_ He says." Rolling his eyes, Draco chuckled and shook his head.

" _Any_ way, what are we going to do? You still haven't told me what happened." His tone went serious suddenly, causing the brunette to sigh loudly.

"Nightmares. Naturally of my favourite dead man."

"Oh."

"Ugh, I'm so confused right now…"

"Did you hurt your head?" Draco suddenly asked, watching his friend wince when he scratched the back of his head.

"I think I hit it when I flew into the wall."

" _What_?"

"Yeah… I woke up in the pile of sheets that were over there." He twisted around and pointed along the wall.

"I'm going to get Pofessor Snape, what if you have a concussion?"

Harry groaned, gripping the blondes wrist tightly as he went to stand. He didn't want to deal with that man right now, he should have already been there anyway – how could _neither_ of them have heard his screams? It was clear their Professor wanted nothing to do with him, so including him in this would have been worse. He shook his head desperately, then was hoisted up to standing.

"He could help you." Draco's tone was worried.

"No, absolutely not. We had a fight and I don't want to talk to him."

"Harry, you've just had a nightmare, trashed the room and I don't see you wanting to go back to bed. Not to mention you're injured, what other injuries are you hiding from me?"

"None, I promise. I said something stupid yesterday and he kicked me out after we pranked him. It was so dumb, I really wish it could be taken back."

"What did you say?"

"I got over confident with you and I revealing my scar and your mark. I… might have eluded to _his_ and he got really angry." Draco slapped his face with a palm and closed his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Of course you did. Have you not learnt anything?" His tone exasperated.

"Apparently not… "

 _And I told him not to be an asshole_ , Draco thought to himself before walking fully into the now straightened bedroom, looking to see if he needed to do anthing else. Not seeing anything however, he cautiously turned to his friend and noted the wary expression. He couldn't go back to sleep in his own room when Harry looked like he did, he was wounded and scared. Not being a stranger to these feelings he decided that he would stay with him.

"Get back into bed, I'll be back."

Frowning, Harry squeezed up against the frame as he passed him but then slowly limped back towards his bed. Sliding under the covers, he assessed his knee that he'd obviously knocked also in the process of his adrenaline rush. Another night, another nightmare; he just wanted it all to stop. He'd gone to sleep feeling exhausted and now he felt even worse; that wasn't even including what in Merlin he was going to do about the fractured relationship with his Professor. He knew by morning it would be difficult to look the man in the eye without being bitterly disappointed and upset.

"One condition," Draco said, coming back into his bedroom carrying his top covers and pillow, "Don't even think about cuddling me."

Harry laughed even though he was stunned at how the night, well morning, was panning out. He had to agree however, he wasn't the type to be touchy-feely, especially when that person wasn't Professor Snape. _I really fucked up again, why does this keep happening to me?_ He flopped backwards, careful of his head and stared up at the canopy as he felt movement beside him as Draco burrito wrapped himself in the covers he'd brought through with him.

"Harry, promise me you won't do anything stupid tonight… well, anything _else_ idiotic. I'm going to wake you up if you start dreaming again too."

"I'll try."

"No, promise."

"Look, I can't control myself in my dreams… But if it makes you feel better I will promise not to do anything drastic whilst I am coherent and able."

"Better." The blonde mumbled, his back turned to his friend the entire time.


	25. Chapter 25

_**CHAPTER UPDATED!**_

 _ **So, I went to bed last night not being happy with the ending of this chapter and decided to change it slightly. After a couple of reviews, I have realised that it did seem odd that neither Draco or Severus heard what had happened but I will look into that for the following chapter.**_

 _ **If you re-read the part from when Draco and Harry return back to the Manor, that's all that changed.**_

 _ **Hopefully this update is much better, please let me know if you think it needs to be improved.**_

 **. . .**

There were times during the war where spaces were tight and people had to bunk together, but no one could have predicted that Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter would have been found sleeping in the same bed. Alas, they woke together when one started to wake, stirring the other. With sleepy, almost closed eyes, Draco wondered why he felt so weird waking on this morning but when he saw a brunette mop of hair facing away from him he was given a stark reminder of how he ended up here. There had been no hesitation in making himself at home on his friends bed, not after seeing the state of him.

He still felt odd not having gotten their Professor involved, he would have felt better should they have done so but with no other issues during the night the blonde surmised that it was okay. This was a different experience however, he was usually reserved when asking Harry what he'd dreamt about or what was going on inside his head but being brought into the fold he felt that he had the right to ask. There was no judgement about nightmares or flashbacks; in fact he had them too but seemingly not as often. It sometimes made him wonder what his friend had been subjected to that had created such a broken monster, but he remembered clearly that the Dark Lord had been an insane mad man.

Gingerly sitting up, he rubbed his face and dislodged the sleep in his eyes before staring ahead at the wall in front of him. It was during this time that Harry rolled over and saw the sleepy blonde waking himself up and he let a small smile pull at his lips. Disbelieved beyond comprehension for the events that had transpired, he was glad that he had Draco to help him back up; he needed some close allies and friends that understood him and he definitely trusted him. However, when he remembered why they were currently in the position they were, his positive mood soured somewhat. Stretching his limbs, he groaned in satisfaction before he too made the move to sit up in bed.

"Morning." Harry croaked.

"Mhm." The blonde said in return, not ready to start speaking.

"I uh… Thanks for last night…"

"Mhm." Draco nodded his head slowly, trying to focus his eyes but still being tired was an issue.

They stayed silent for a little while longer until Draco took a deep breath in sighed loudly. Turning his body half towards his friend he was finally ready to address the day and say hello. Harry chuckled at this, his friend hadn't changed all year.

"I need coffee." He sighed, heaving himself off the bed with the covers still wrapped around his shoulders.

"Ugh, how can people drink that stuff?"

"Good people who enjoy good coffee have good days." Draco replied, dragging the bed covers behind him and through the bedroom.

"Okay, well I'll wait for you to get ready then." Harry called out, not wanting to be by himself just yet.

All alone, he found himself looking at the wall he'd remembered being thrown against and shuddered; not being able to hold his eyes towards that space, he instead focussed on something else and started by pulling the curtains back to reveal the oddly bright morning. Whilst still cold and snowy, the sky was clear with the sun shining across the land. In complete contrast to how the day _had_ started in the early hours, he felt it calming him.

Once dressed and moderately ready to face the day, he waited for Draco who collected him on the way through and slowly made their way to breakfast. Their Head of House had already left his room and Harry felt his stomach lurch, anxiety beginning to worm its way into his organs. It wasn't pleasant and made him feel sick but with his friend by his side he bargained that if breakfast was a success then the rest of the day would follow.

As it was, the man was his usual self, absorbed in the Daily Prophet that he held up to cover his face. Whilst it provided some comfort, it wasn't a lot and Harry kept his head down whilst helping himself to water first, then dry toast. Draco carefully picked up a jar of jam and placed it in front of him, looking confused, Draco motioned with his eyes towards their Professor and the brunette deduced that it was so he didn't pull attention to himself. Looking down at the piece of toast on his plate he realised that in times when he wasn't hungry or didn't feel himself, he'd always grab something that wasn't particularly breakfast-like.

Grumbling but understanding, he felt a stomach churning wave flow throw him when he caught the scent of raspberry jam but was going to force himself to eat it for the sake of not drawing attention to his emotions. Frustrating as it was, he knew his Professor's assessment previously was correct, he was an open book and very habitual. Like the toast for example, he didn't eat properly when there was something on his mind or when he was troubled, it made a lot of sense now why the older Wizard was always able to tell.

Struggling through breakfast, he pulled a face at Draco melting into the cup of his coffee, groaning happily at the proper way to wake up. Harry couldn't understand it, the taste was so bitter he thought it burnt away the taste buds on his tongue. Sure, he would put a little bit with his hot cocoa but that was only to take away some of the sweetness of the chocolate.

"One day you'll learn to love it." The blonde side eyed him with a smirk.

"Possibly when I'm dead, because it'll match how bitter I am inside." Harry responded, making the other two huff.

Frowning when he'd heard the noise from behind the newspaper, Harry pursed his lips and momentarily forgot about being scared about his Professor. The man had the nerve to kick him out for a comment that had no motive or ill will towards it; but was now laughing at his expense because of said comment made in jest? It pissed him off. Draco seemed to sense the change in his friends aura but said nothing, holding his breath when his mother walked into the room and sat down with a letter in her hand.

"We've been invited to spend an evening with the Wilbert family, darling. Won't that be wonderful? You'll be able to spend some time with their daughter, Victoria. She must be quite the young woman now, don't you think?"

Draco watched his mother warily as she spoke, his heart sinking when he heard her mention the Wilbert's youngest daughter. She was a lovely girl, but the way she mentioned it made the situation feel strange and knew that he'd be expected to spend some time with her. This was an arranged meeting.

"Yes, she would be. It's been a long time since I last saw her; were we ten?" He replied out of politeness.

"That's right, it was her eleventh birthday and she'd had her acceptance letter from Beaubatons'. The two of you will have much to catch up on." His mother smiled at him and he nodded, feeling dread building within him.

Harry noticed it, he was trying to pay attention to anything other than the sour man sitting behind his paper. The way Narcissa had been talking about the Wilbert family, whoever they were, it sounded as though Draco's luck in not having an arranged marriage was coming to an end. It must have been a Pureblood family; it sounded rather depressing actually.

The next natural progressional thought that came from this conversation was what Harry would be doing whilst they were out. Surely it would just be the two of them going which would mean that he would be stuck in the Manor with his Professor. Well, it was a large building, surely he could hide so he wouldn't need to infect the man with his presence because aparantly it wasn't something pleasant afterall. Huffing, he kept all thoughts to himself and then excused himself quickly.

Draco wasn't far behind him and soon they were both back in Harry's room, sitting on his bed and looking at various things in the bedroom but not making eye contact with each other.

"Let's go out." Harry said suddenly, feeling like Draco might prefer to get out of the house for a bit to think about what was going on.

"You heard it too, didn't you?"

"About Victoria Wilbert? I assume it meant what it sounded like."

"I suppose by mother telling me about it, she's giving me _some_ choice. If it was going to be an arranged marriage they wouldn't really give you any notice of it happening, they'd just do it and you'd meet the person on the day of your wedding. Or, it's talked about as if you weren't in the room and then it just goes ahead. I've been witness to that before, Pansy's cousin had that happen to her… The way Pansy described it sounded awful. This feels different to that."

"I don't really understand all of this arranged stuff. What if you don't like the person?" Harry asked, a perplexed expression on his face.

"That's too bad. You're stuck with them really. You get married, produce an heir or two, get into business and then live unhappily ever after. A lot of unrecorded family violence happens in arranged marriages, most of the time Witches are seen only as the baby makers and are then useless. So, many affairs happen on the side which can cause more of a rift between everyone." Draco shook his head sadly, he would never be that man.

"That… sounds perfectly awful."

"Pureblood families aren't all they're cracked up to be. They follow very strict traditions and unwritten laws to ensure bloodlines stay pure. I used to believe in it all," At this, he looked down at the hands in his lap sadly, "But I've spent too much time around people who seem to live happier lives when they aren't forced into things."

"Maybe this Victoria girl will be different?"

"I remember she was a nice person back when I last saw her, but I was a bit of a bastard to be honest… I'm not sure she'll want to see me or be happy to either."

"You were pretty conceited when I first met you."

"Oh really? _Mr. I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself_." Draco huffed sarcastically, glaring.

"That was a pretty vivid encounter wasn't it?" Harry laughed, smiling brightly despite the anxiety within him.

"How could it not, you were the only person with balls to ever stand up to me like that. Everone else just cowered away from me." There was admiration in the blondes voice.

"So much has changed since then though, look at us."

"Agreed. But let's not simmer away in our misery, why don't we go and do something?"

"That sounds perfect, I could do with getting away from here, if only for an hour to clear my head and forget about what happened last night."

 **. . .**

"If we go away having only seen one animal, it has to be the tigers." Draco said, letting Harry pay for their admissions and maps.

"How interesting, I want to see the snakes." Harry replied with a smile.

"You are _such_ a closet Slytherin. All these years of being in bloody Gryffindor and you were a slippery snake the entire time."

"We've been through this before, you know. The hat wanted to put me in Slytherin but now that I know everything it was actually not _me_ he was conflicted with, it was that other asshole."

They wandered through the main areas that had souveneir stalls and childrens play areas, heading towards the monkey enclosure first.

"We should have bought those candy things with us. Freak the Muggles out." Draco whispered as they looked into the baboon cage.

"That one's Ron." Harry pointed out, seeing an orangutan off in the distance causing the blonde to burst out laughing.

Whilst the two Slytherin's were having fun, Severus was making his way towards the main living area when he was accosted by Narcissa who had a serious expression on her features. They met in the corridor and he stopped to face her, wondering why she looked so grave.

"I apologise for intruding, Severus."

"It is no issue." He nodded, wondering if this would be a conversation better taken sitting down and he extended his arm towards the room he was about to enter.

Nodding, she preceeded him and took a seat, sitting with her legs crossed at the ankles and sat partially sideways, her back straight. He took a seat in the other arm chair, crossing his own legs and sitting in a relaxed manner.

"I felt that you should be informed of an incident that happened in the evening, one that it seems Draco and Harry would rather not discuss in your presence."

"Oh?"

"The house elf was in a rather flustered state this morning, believing that an intruder had blasted through the exterior wards surrounding the buildings walls. However, this is not the case… I would hazard a guess that Harry had another nightmare or flashback as you mentioned the other day. This is not something I want to make an issue out of, we all have our moments but perhaps you might want to watch him over the next few evenings to ensure he doesn't injure himself again."

"This is rather disappointing to hear." Severus sighed, leaning to one side, "Was Potter healed?"

"I believe that was Draco who performed a basic spell. You should know yourself that he excells with healing magic."

"I do not doubt his abilities, Narcissa. He is a very bright and capable Wizard; Potter on the otherhand should not have lost control. If there is any damage to the property then I will deal with that myself, and I will speak with him."

"Oh, Severus please no, there was no damage now. It has already been mended, which by my understanding, was thanks to Harry." She smiled sadly, "I merely wished to voice the events that occurred last night."

"Thank you for informing me, regardless."

Severus was very disappointed in Harry but in retrospect he only had himself to blame. Well, not entirely, they _both_ were to blame for the current situation and he was going to make it better. Perhaps it was a positive thing for Harry to get out and about with his friend for the day, to go and act their age, whatever it was that they had decided to do. He had no doubt it was mindless entertainment, completely barbarick and not something he would ever consider partaking in.

In London, Harry and Draco were making faces at the monkey enclosure. They'd managed to capture one of the tree monkeys attention and were in a face morphing challenge with the little brown creature that had longer limbs than its body. It had both teens in stitches and a group of young children were watching them in fascination as they continued.

"I almost want to take him home." Harry said, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Aww, he left."

"Boy's got to eat." Harry said, elbowing the blonde when he spied the zoo keeper with a bucket of food.

"Onwards then, next enclosure is the reptiles. Why do you want to see these so bad?" Draco wondered, inspecting the map and seeing the obvious candidates that were in there.

"Oh, something about setting a python on my cousin that one time, doing accidental magic and trapping him behind the glass whilst said snake slithered free." Harry said, nonchalantly and staring ahead.

Draco gaped at him, realising he didn't really know Harry _at all_. Then he remembered that Harry was a parselmouth and suddenly it didn't become strange that they were heading towards the serpents.

"I really wish that I was part of your adventures." He commented suddenly, pulling Harry from his inspection of corn snakes.

"Slytherin a bit boring for you back then, was it?" The smirk was evident and Draco narrowed his eyes.

"Not boring as such, just dull with thick heads for associates."

The comment made Harry frown, "I thought Crabbe and Goyle were your best mates."

Draco scoffed loudly, "Hardly. I was only friends with Goyle because our fathers were in the same _circle_ , if you know what I mean."

Indeed Harry _did_ know, the graveyard where Voldemort had been resurrected coming to mind instantly.

"Crabbe was just part of the package that came with that tall tree trunk. They were never really my friends… Actually, you're the closest thing I really have. Blaise isn't so much a friend, more just someone I trust."

"Oh, well that's surprising." Harry mused, a concerned frown disappearing as he found the python he'd remembered so vividly.

"Plus, back when I had this whole – _I'm better than you_ – attitude, they were good to – "

"What do you mean, _back then_? You still do!" Harry laughed and promptly found a shoulder shoving him aside.

"You're annoying."

"Ditto." They both laughed and watched the python coil its body, unmoving.

"Can you speak to it? Make it do something." The blonde leaned along the railing, reminding Harry of his cousin immediately.

"I can't."

"What, you can't just lose the ability, try it."

"No, I mean I actually can't. That was _his_ power, not mine. Now that a piece of his soul isn't stored in my body I just can't do it. And before you ask, no I can't understand it either."

"Well, that's disappointing. What was the point in coming in here then?"

"Nostalgia. Come on, let's go. This isn't even the same snake, I think I really did set the other one loose." A nervous laugh followed his statement and they proceeded through to the next section.

Severus was watching the flames dance in the hearth, thinking about what he was going to do. Harry did not have his wand, he must have used Draco's if he managed to fix the room, but what had the room looked like and why had he not heard anything? There would have been evidence of a silencing ward placed around the walls and he certainly didn't have any on his own for the specific reason for hearing if the teen was in trouble.

Annoyed at himself for the reactions that night, which he believed added fuel to the flashback, he knew that something had to be done to make things right again. However, not wanting to overreact in the current situation, he was going to leave it for a day and see if things didn't improve. He did not believe it was going to be as simple as aprroaching his student and asking what happened, not when he was closed off and trusting Draco more than himself.

It had been a few hours since the boys had left for London and he wasn't expecting them back until later that afternoon if they decided to stay and shop. In the mean time, he had work to complete and occupy his mind but made the decision to let the dust settle before anything was said. Giving Harry space was always good in the right circumstance, having a friend close by, one that knew his reactions and habits was a good thing. Perhaps he would wait until Draco and Narcissa were out for the night, then he could get Harry to himself without any distractions.

 **. . .**

Tumbling out of the flue, both teens were exhausted and stuffed to capacity. Having elected to stay out for dinner and have a couple of Butterbeers at the Leaky Cauldron before they came back, it rounded their day out perfectly. Now, they had to climb their way up the stairs and to their rooms to sleep off the food coma.

However, what awaited them as they stepped into the main hallway was a figure dressed in black who looked stiff and irritated. Unable to restrain a groan, Harry tried to not make eye contact and shuffled towards him as he was in the way towards the stairs. Draco hesitated but he followed the brunettes lead, passing their Professor silently after all giggles and happiness had disappeared at the sight of him. Harry, unfortunately wasn't going to be in luck for dodging this bullet and once he was halfway up the stairs, heard the low voice calling him back.

The blonde stopped on the same step as his friend and gave a reassuring expression before he continued up the stairs until he disappeared around the corner. Harry stayed where he was for the time being, simply turning on the spot and looking down on the man tiredly.

"Why did you not come to me." Severus said, his voice void of any emotion and still facing the hearth where the two teens had fallen out of.

 _Bastard, he did hear and didn't say anything to me._

"I could ask you the same thing." He replied hotly.

"Should I have heard a disturbance, despite what occurred the night prior, I would have." At this, Severus looked over his shoulder, "You could have hurt yourself."

Harry was pissed off; and to prove this, he stormed down the stairs until he was standing a foot away.

"Why do you suddenly care? You chucked me out last night after I tried to ask a simply question. You said I could trust you, that you wouldn't hurt me like I had been in the past but you clearly lied to me. In hindsight, I realise that what I said was a major assumption but you could have done anything other than chucking me out for us to move on with the evening." He balled both fists, looking at the man wildly but knowing he was only flying off as he was because of the butterbeer he'd consumed.

"I don't know how you found out about last night but you can probably work out that it was a product of our interactions last night among other things. I had to relive all my worst nightmares in one night and only woke up when I threw myself against the wall. How, _how_ did you not hear it? Why did the shattering of bloody glass not wake you up?"

Severus blinked, Narcissa had not informed him of what had happened and this was immediately concerning for him.

"If you're done with me, then just say. I won't bother you again and we can go back to hating each other. I can tell you it won't be easy but if that's what needs to happen for you to have your life back then so be it. I'm obviously not as important to you as I thought so, forgive me for infecting your life with my presence."

"Harry, I – "

"Save it, I'm tired and this isn't something I want to deal with right now. I just want to be left alone."

With that, Harry spun on his heel, stomping up the stairs and all Severus could do was stand there and watch him go. Not having expecting such an outburst like he'd just witnessed, he allowed himself to listen carefully to what was being said. Harry was simultaneously upset about their conversation that night and bothered that he hadn't gone to see if he was okay. Hearing the younger Wizard explaining what happened made his stomach twist uncomfortably and wanted nothing more than to run after his student to make everything better.

He needed Harry to trust him, there had been a long history between the two of them but Severus was genuinely upset about what the teen was going through. Not just for Lily's sake, this was getting beyond his debt to her in looking out for her son. This was Severus understanding that his Slytherin was in pain and enjoyed being there for him in both the good days, and bad. It stemmed further than being just a teacher for the young man, their interactions were more than that. They were developing something else, something stronger and more personal.

Was he angry that the boy had just thrown a fit? Absolutely. As his Professor it was completely unacceptable but as a friend, or confidant, it had been justified. Even the prospect of Harry being anything more than a student was daunting enough but to realise that he might have found a friend too, it was almost incomprehensible.

He needed to make things right, he refused to go on like this where the two of them would be walking on eggshells. It was unfair to both of them, especially when Severus promised to make him better, to free his mind and body. Tomorrow was another day and he was going to make the effort to speak with his student, not only for his own benefit, but for Harry's as well.

 **. . .**

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	26. Chapter 26

_**.**_

 _ **PREVIOUS CHAPTER UPDATED!**_

 _ **Before reading this chapter, please go back and read the end of the previous one. I just wasn't happy with it and have updated the ending.**_

 _ **. . .**_

The wind bristled past him as Harry sat precariously over the ledge on his balcony. The temperature was cool but not freezing for a change and he welcomed it. Taking a deep breath, he leaned his head against the wall and looked up at the orange and pink sky as the winter sun set over the trees. He admired the peaceful environment, the way he could sit here and look out over the grounds and into the sky, just forgetting everything and letting the wind seep his memories away. Just the negative ones mind, he didn't want to rid himself of the good times that he and Draco had had over the past week.

Everything seemed to change for them on that one night, the one where the teen had walked in on Harry and his Professor sitting in a chair and embracing one another. If Harry had thought things between he and Professor Snape had changed, then Draco was in his own league. It felt like comradery, brotherly. He felt at peace with the past he shared with the blonde and in turn their physical closeness had blossomed.

Smiling at the distant memory of lying in front of the fire after having chewed down some of the animal candies Harry had given his friend at Christmas, he allowed himself a deep breath, letting it out slowly. They hadn't spoken any more about exploring Animagus transformations and he didn't want to push it but in the back of his mind, he felt like it would be one hell of an achievement. Following in his fathers footsteps, the Marauders, and becoming an Animagus just like them, just like his ex-Head of House now Headmistress. He just really wanted to prove that he wasn't weak.

However, whilst things with Draco were blossoming he had hit a road block with his Professor. They after he'd told the man exactly what he thought after their zoo trip, he'd managed to escape his clutches so they didn't have to interact. Of course, he attended meals as requested but he didn't stay a moment longer; time around that he refused to mope around his room and had bunked with his friend when they weren't outside. It seemed like a good strategy at the time, however two days had passed and now Draco was going out with Mrs. Malfoy to meet the Wilbert family. Knowing he couldn't hide forever, he had resigned himself to finally staying in his room and if the man approached him, then so be it.

A knock at his door was distant and he glanced over his shoulder before pulling focus on his magic, he didn't feel like getting up at walking over because he knew _exactly_ who it was going to be. His Professor. Professor Severus Snape and the asshole that chucked him out only for being inquisitive then ignoring him for days.

The door clicked softly open with his magic and with hesitated footsteps he finally heard them traverse over the stone floor and out to where he was sitting. Eyeing his Head of House carefully, he looked back up at the sunset, pulling his jacket more firmly around his lean body.

"Sir."

"… Harry." The hesitance caused a stir from the teen and he looked back towards the man warily.

"Is it dinner already?" Harry asked for lack of anything else to say.

"No. However, I _am_ here to discuss arrangements this evening."

 _Oh_ , Harry thought, still sitting in a lightly slouched manner against the wall.

"I thought you might enjoy a night out of this house, there is a large village not too far from here if you would be interested in a change of scenery."

"With you? You want to have dinner out, with _me_?" Harry asked sceptically and the man nodded after a beat.

"I owe you an apology, Harry. It was not my intention to upset you and I can clearly see that I have." Severus put his hands in both pockets and went to lean against the short stone wall encompassing the balcony.

"Why do you suddenly feel all chatty? It's taken you almost three days." Harry looked away at this point and sniffed as the cooler air had suddenly made his nose runny.

"If you allow me to take you out for dinner, I will explain."

Harry narrowed his eyes and looked at the man awfully wary of the whole situation but if he had to toss up his options, a night out might not have been the worst idea. His Professor said he wanted to apologise, well he certainly wasn't going to make it easy. All he'd wanted to do was get to know the man who was helping him through a tough spot, that made them more than just student and Professor.

"Okay." Harry resigned, sliding off the wall and holding his arms out awkwardly, "Let's go then."

"Wait." Harry turned and half glared at him.

"Sir, I just – "

"I will meet you down at the entrance hall in fifteen minutes." Severus said, then stalked out of the room quickly.

" _Weird._ " Harry thought at his door closed but as he shut the balcony doors and shook himself out of his jacket, he looked down at himself and shook his head.

"No, this won't do." He thought and rummaged around for something a little more decent.

Trying not to let the anxiety and knotting experience fill his stomach, Harry met the man down by the main entrance but halted mid step when he realised he'd changed also. It was such a contrast and yet nothing had really changed. He still wore prominently black but as he walked closer, he noticed the man's merino wool jumper was a dark navy blue. There was a scarf wrapped around his neck and he'd almost buried his chin into as he waited and Harry swallowed a nervous lump. He seemed so… Muggle and normal.

"You look star struck, Potter." Severus prickled.

"You're not known for a large wardrobe." Harry frowned but his face brightened under the scrutiny.

"Muggle village, muggle attire. I thought that might have been obvious." Severus commented wryly before heading towards the door and opening it for the teen.

"Take my arm."

Once they were outside, Harry regarded the outstretched arm and took a deep breath before he touched it and gripped on tightly, he really hated side-long apparation. Barrelling head on into the wall of a building down an alley, Harry rubbed his forehead with a dull groan but straightened when he felt a hand wrap around his shoulders. He brushed the man off, feeling embarrassed by his wounded pride before he followed diligently.

The village seemed very popular and large, lots of people were out and about, mesmerising Harry only because he hadn't expected to see this many people. As they turned another corner, it opened up into a large openly spaced square with a giant Christmas tree standing tall in the middle. He heard a small whisper escape his lips at this, _wow_.

"This way." Severus commented, looking sideways at the teen.

Harry looked over the glittering lights and allowed the happiness to fill him before following his Professor into a nearby restaurant. It was a rustic looking place, certainly busy enough to have a good reputation and the smells were incredible. It simply made his mouth water. He bumped into the back of the man at one point when he'd been looking at the enticing pork belly a woman was consuming on his way past but didn't risk glancing at his Head of House, instead tuning into the conversation between the front of house staff member.

"Tobias? Right this way." The thin man elegantly slid from behind his post and weaved through the restaurant as if he knew the place like the back of his hand.

There, in a corner, was a table set for two and Harry raised his eyebrow at the convenience of such a thing happening when the restaurant was as packed as it had been. Stripping out of his jacket, Harry draped it over the back of his chair and sat down, his gaze resting on his Professor as the man did the same before meeting his eye.

"Funny. Convenient." Harry said with a smug expression, then took up the menu to hide his face.

"I would have gone by myself if you had of refused."

"And leave me alone in that mansion?" Harry dropped the menu and shot him a dark, panicked sneer.

"Indeed." Was all Severus replied with, taking up his own menu.

They perused the items for a while before Harry had made his decision and then took a moment to take in the atmosphere around the restaurant. He hadn't noticed a pair of eyes watching him in that time and then when he had, they were giving their orders over to the waiter. Once he left, there was a weighted silence that hung over the two Wizards and Harry fidgeted under intensity of it.

"The other day… we were talking." Severus said finally and Harry's face took on a sad expression.

"You mean the day you kicked me out."

"Yes. I would like to chat about it." Severus replied calmly, he'd taken nearly three days to pluck the courage to discuss this once he realised what was happening between them.

"Okay?" Harry replied, feeling wary.

"I have been doing some thinking about what is happening between us. Prior to asking you to leave, we were having a simple conversation, which unfortunately took an unpleasant turn for us both." Severus started, sitting upright in his chair and watching confusion cross the teen's face, "Having taken some time to look into our interactions in retrospect, I have come to a conclusion."

Harry remained silent, what was he supposed to reply with?

"Harry, you are my student and I, your Professor. However, it is clear that something else is happening that may complicate or enhance things, depending on how you see it."

"What do you mean?"

"Simply put, Harry, I missed your presence and have grown rather fond of the relationship that is forming. A friendship, perhaps." At this he reached out and took a sip of water. "As I just said, this is not supposed to happen though I am aware it does. You were always going to be different, I know the Headmistress was rather familiar with you over the years and that bond with your ex-Head of House remains strong."

Harry smiled, remembering some of the occasions when the woman _had_ bent the rules for him or congratulated his arrogant behaviour, mainly aimed at Dolores Umbridge. _Have a biscuit, Potter_. He had to rub a hand over his face to stop the grin breaking forward, it had been one of the weirdest and most satisfying conversations he'd ever had with his ex-Head of House not including what had happened with his new Head this year.

"I can see I was correct with my assumptions, but even then that relationship you share with her is still a Professional one." Severus commented seriously as he watched the teen attempting to smother a smile, an emotion that followed this was sadness, or envy.

"Why is ours any different? I mean, you're helping me get through a lot and I owe you so much for that. Especially for getting Fletcher off my case as well as the Headmistress. Forget about what happened in the last few days, right now that isn't important." At this Harry reached for his water, feeling his throat drying out.

"My apologies, Potter. I had not been made aware that Professor McGonagall and yourself had kissed." Severus smirked in satisfaction as Harry inhaled the water in his mouth, choking and hacking as he tried to cough it back the right way.

Once he _had_ composed himself better, his face twisted distastefully and the unwelcomed image that burned his eyes, even as he closed them. Shaking his head, he attempted to deny what had been said, not wanting to think on it any more.

"You decide to bring the kiss up, _now?_ "

"Naturally. It seems a good of time as any." Severus responded casually, frustrating Harry in the process.

"But before, you - "

"I resisted speaking about it because we were working through things. Now, however, we are speaking as associates or comrades. Why delay the inevitable."

"You don't seem particularly upset about it all… You just let it happen."

"I did. You were hurting the first time, though I admit standing in front of a grave – not forgetting it was your parents – quite possibly was not the best location."

Harry worried his lip as the man spoke but was distracted when their meals arrived. Was he missing something here? His Professor should have been shutting him down and discouraging him but it seemed almost the opposite. Then he thought back to the Headmistress, that thought had completely repulsed him but glancing up at the man in front, he didn't feel that repulsion at all. Not _once_ this whole year had he felt that.

"You let me do it a second time." Harry's voice was small now, almost hollow with confusion.

"Ah, yes." Severus didn't know what he should say to that, he hadn't been expecting the first kiss but the second one...

"And?" Harry picked up his cutlery, looking longingly into his ribeye and the glistening gravy.

"I had expected it."

Harry paused before putting the forkful into his mouth. Did that also mean he accepted it? It was maddening, Professor Snape was similar to attempting to draw blood from stone. Not something easily done, rather quite impossible. This dinner was supposed to clear the air between them, not make it more damn confusing. There had been an apology, then the mention of friendship… Was there something else?

"And if I did it again?" Harry asked cautiously, feeling that tightrope he was walking across wobbling.

Severus looked into Harry's eyes at this point, his cutlery poised as he had been about to cut into his chicken. Did he dare tempt the teen? Did he cross that not so invisible line between his responsibilities as a teacher to his student or the invisible line between himself and a matured teen who were naturally growing closer regardless.

"I would dissuade you, however your actions are your own."

 _There, that should get him to think_ , Severus continued with his meal and left the comment strung between them. And think it did, after of course the mouth-watering meal before him had been consumed.

Harry wondered if he tried again would he be pushed away or would it be left to happen. Hearing the man's words, he _did_ feel slightly discouraged but that was because he had been hoping for some returned feelings. Forbidden as they were, he could always have the hope that one day it might happen. For now however, he wanted to mend the bridge that been set a lit before it disintergrated because he _did_ enjoy spending time with the older Wizard. This distance that had plagued them over the days needed to be done with; spending that time with Draco was great but he equally wanted to spend it with his Professor.

His Head of House hadn't exactly said no to another kiss which made Harry wonder if there was something beneath the surface when he'd allowed the first two to happen. Whatever it was, he felt the temperature in the air between them grow cooler and awkward. But Harry was resolute, he was sitting in a restaurant with his Professor, and aside from Hagrid or even Remus back when _he_ was still around, there wouldn't have been anyone else he could do this with. Even with Professor Dumbledore, their chats had been off, which was saying something because Harry really did see him as a prominent male figure in his life up until the very end.

"Okay." Harry sat up a little straighter in his seat, now that he'd processed what the man had said, they could move on from it.

"Was everything to your liking?" The waiter was back and removed their plates before continuing and offering the desert menu.

"Yes, please." Harry said cheerily, then looked back to his Professor who had a perplexed expression briefly.

"I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry. You're right, it was a weak moment for me the first time and the second I guess I'd just been pushing my luck. I'm not even gay." Harry's face went bright red as he steamed along, shrugging for emphasis. "Thanks for not… making it… weird…"

Severus stared at him blankly, a smile threatening to show but was able to restrain himself a little while. _I'm not even gay_. The comment stuck in his mind as the blushing in Harry's cheek dissipated somewhat. He didn't know why it struck him like it had but not wanting to get caught up in dramatics he pushed it aside and nodded when the teen looked to him.

"Harry, this is not an easy time for either of us having to adjust to a world that seems so far removed from what we experienced. If I were to push you away once that happened, not only would it hurt you but we would not be in the position we are currently. You chose to speak with me over the others about your experiences and consequences of this war, which is something I am not taking lightly, certainly not after what has just happened. Should you be feeling confused, I can understand. Quite frankly, Harry, I would rather you do that with me than with someone who may use it against you in the future."

Harry blinked, his desert menu forgotten.

"As much as I loathed your attendance when I first saw you in my classroom, you are _not_ that child. You are not someone who revels in the fame that was thrust upon you. I understand now that when those things happened during your school years that made you centre stage, it was not because you wanted to be there. It was forced and cruel. Not that Albus particularly sheltered you like he should have. Aside from the past, it still affects you even now and quite possibly worse. I am not blind to see younger students looking to you for guidance and a particular few who idolise you whether it be romanticised or hero worship."

Harry continued to blink, floored by the words.

"You cannot be lax in what you say and who hears. I do not want to see you putting effort into something or some _one_ only to be hurt after the fact because there were ulterior motives. Draco and Miss. Granger I would wager are your closest friends. Merlin, I would consider _myself_ your friend _after_ being your Professor first and foremost."

Harry's lips parted as his jaw went slack. This man _really_ considered him a friend? Of course, teacher first but Professor Snape just uttered the words _friend_ and _myself_ in the same sentence. It was a major revelation and suddenly his vision became blurry as a smile gradually spread across his face.

"Harry?"

"Would you like to order desert?" The waiter was back and Harry swallowed the lump that had formed, hastily wiping away the tears that had formed before pointing to something on the menu.

Severus shook his head and handed the menu back, all the while his eyes trained _only_ on the Slytherin in front. The tears, they weren't sad but happy evidently. Severus had brought the Wizarding hero to tears with an admission he thought probably would never be uttered.

"Friends?" Harry propped himself up with elbows on the table, sniffing a couple of times.

"I may not have many, but I would consider you one nonetheless." Severus took a breath in slowly, holding it for a moment, _my second friend_.

"I feel honoured." Harry said almost to himself but he was clearly heard over the busy restaurant.

"Honoured? What ever for?"

"Well… I imagine you're very selective of your friends." Harry had a weird kind of smile, Severus thought and couldn't identify whether he was being genuine or sarcastic.

"Indeed." Severus didn't want to say anything else, he felt he'd already divulged more than he was comfortable with and sat quietly as the teen's desert arrived.

Eyeing the delicacy and licking his lips hungrily, Harry grabbed his spoon and moaned when the chocolate touched his lips. Severus glanced up and subtly bit the inside of his lip after the noise, seeing Harry thoroughly enjoying his desert made him happy. All he wanted was for his student to get back to a place where he was safe and sane. Even if it meant there was a dull ache and fire in his loins at the idea of the time they spend together.

He was going to strike conversation up after the moments silence but decided against it. It was intended that he bring up school but considering they were sitting in a restaurant, he held his tongue until they made it back to the house. Instead, he admired the way Harry politely devoured his desert before slouching back in his chair with a full expression.

"I don't think I'll be eating for a couple of days." Harry commented quietly, it had been meant for himself only but Severus fully heard him.

"You will get that when you eat like a sparrow."

"Hey, I eat plenty." Harry scoffed, trying to sit up.

"I beg to differ." Severus replied with a smirk, enjoying the dynamic change between them.

Harry noticed it too and wondered how much more he could get away with in terms of being cheeky to this man. It wasn't as though he would go out of his way to be a nuisance, no he and his friends had done that when they were younger and it was in the past now. However, one memory threatened to kill his calmness and it did so at the worst time possible when their plates were cleared. Chuckling to himself, he attempted to cover his smile but it was no use and Severus had already seen it.

"No." Putting his hand up and covering his face, the brunette wasn't going there right now.

"I am not entirely sure I _want_ to know what you are thinking. Are you ready or shall I roll you out of here?"

"No, no. I can walk." Harry smiled, grabbing his coat.

Once outside, Harry shoved both hands into his coat pockets before walking ahead of his Professor and towards the town centre. There were still plenty of people about and the feeling he'd gotten walking through this prior came back. It was calm and peace, he felt safe here. The tree took his attention again and he stood there looking at it for a while, not noticing his Professor standing next to him quietly until his elbow brushed against the man's arm. Feeling confident enough to engage some form of contact, Harry pulled his right arm from his pocket and carefully linked it through the older Wizard's without a word.

"Thank you for dinner."

"It was my pleasure." Severus replied, moving his arm out of Harry's and draping it over the teen's shoulder, pulling him closer.

 **. . .**

There were very few times where Harry Potter felt safe and secure. He had been battered, bruised and abused for so long that he hadn't the foggiest idea what love was. The Weasely clan had always made him feel welcome, he _had_ felt loved when with them; well he thought it was love but it paled into nothing for the security he experienced with Professor Snape. The man was a force to be reckoned with but at the same time there was this other side that Harry had been given a glimpse of. He was fairly sure not a lot of others had seen this side of the man and the more he thought about it, the weirder the sensation in his chest became.

As he sat at the dining table, staring into his bowl of warmed oats, he couldn't help but smile. It had been a while since he'd felt genuinely happy for _no apparent_ reason, his interactions with Draco the past few days were different. If anyone had of asked why he was so happy, he couldn't have given them an answer, only Professor Snape would have understood.

Once they had arrived back from dinner, they had gone their separate ways but not before they embraced each other one last time. Well, it _may_ have been Harry that had rushed forward first but his Professor certainly hadn't pushed him away, the gentle squeeze right before they broke away being the only indication that feelings were returned over the amicable night they'd shared.

Glancing up from his oats, said man was sitting in front of him with the paper spread across his setting, covering his face as usual so Harry felt safe in staring ahead, he even took a look at the front page but saw nothing of note. Draco was absent from the table, which was odd considering he always beat Harry down each morning but even Mrs. Malfoy was looking a little tired and he wondered what time they arrived home.

For the morning, the brunette kept himself busy by taking a look in the vast library that was slowly being built up again. There were many holes but he preferred it this way so he could actually navigate his way through the mass of books. He was paying particular attention to Transfiguration and Animagi transformations, trying to find anything else on the subject that the school library may not have. It was slow going, but provided a nice distraction.

Draco emerged some time in the late morning with dark circles under his eyes that made Harry wince as he flopped down into a soft armchair in the library. Harry noticed a hangover when he saw one that judging by the pale, almost green, face he figured the blonde had a good one. Remembering that he had been going out last night to potentially meet his future wife, the hangover made him sit up in concern thinking that things had gone wrong.

"Blimey, you look as though you've been through the wringer."

"I have so many regrets." Draco muttered and Harry plopped down in the arm chair beside him, two books in hand, "What are you doing?"

"Researching Animagi, anything to do with it really." He kept his voice low, not that it was required for a personal library but he figured Draco would have appreciated it.

"I don't think I could even think about looking at words right now."

"Why don't you ask Professor Snape if he has something you could take?"

"And let him know what a light weight I am? No thank you." Draco looked affronted, but then smiled. "No one can beat that man at alcohol, he has an iron liver."

"Or maybe he has potions to lessen the affects so that it only appears that way?" Harry smirked but Draco was having none of it.

"If you're going to keep speaking logically, I'm going to leave."

"Fine, go feel sorry for yourself and sleep. Meanwhile, I'm going to get a head start on this transformation stuff. You can tell me about your night later." At this, Harry stood and left the blonde in the library, he almost looked as though he was half asleep already.

When he walked into the main living area he found Professor Snape already there and sitting comfortably on a couch, book in hand. It seemed that whenever Harry saw his Head of House he either had his nose buried in marking, the Daily Prophet or reading. It was simply bizarre how much the man read, he couldn't ever fathom being able to hold his attention like that for so long. How did he do it?

Trying not to stare, Harry silently moved to the other side of the room and sat on the floor in front of the unlit fire. Even though there was no heat coming from it he still felt it was comfortable and he didn't want to get in his Professor's way otherwise by sitting closer.

Severus glanced up from his book and saw the teen sitting on the floor and raised an eyebrow, huffing lightly to himself. He had thoroughly enjoyed their evening and admittedly, he hadn't wanted to part company when the time came. Things had changed between them and he was starting to see where it was going but it wasn't up to him to pursue anything, it would be inappropriate at best. Still, their friendship was growing and he was happy enough with that. In fact, he was more than happy and it created a warm current to flow through his chest when he thought about Harry in such capacity.

The teen may be damaged and going through a tough transition in his life but there was a kind soul, he had been proven this many times in the past. Countless times. That soul reminded him so much of Lily and he allowed himself to smile, even if it was the smallest of tugs at his lips. He was surprised however that the teen was willingly sitting down to read a book, judging by the cover it wasn't anything to do with homework and he _so_ wanted to know what had captured the Slytherin's attention but refrained and busied himself with his novel. Past actions had warned him that whenever Harry was fixated on something, nothing good ever came from it.

Time ticked on, and Harry's backside began feeling numb the longer he sat on the floor. He regretted taking up this position but he was there now and wouldn't change seats to bother the man even though he wanted very much to curl up beside him. Unbearable as it was, in the end he just couldn't take it any longer and five minutes after he caved by standing and brushing his trousers down. It was a relatively nice day in comparison to what they had experienced closer to Christmas and he could even see the winter sun trying it's hardest to peek through the light cloud.

It was the perfect day to go for a walk but he didn't particularly want to go by himself, not when he didn't know the grounds all that well. He could see the trees framing the garden and he wondered if he could give it a shot, even if it was just sitting along the edge. Going up to the window, he leaned his head against the frame and considered his options before turning towards his Professor only to find him already looking in his direction. Feeling heat rise in his cheeks, he turned back to the window so he didn't have to see the odd expression on the man's face but when he heard the deep tones of him speaking he did turn back.

"It seems like a nice day… I was just considering if I should go for a walk." Harry responded to the question, and his Professor nodded.

"Would you want to come with me, sir?" Harry took his bottom lip between his teeth in anticipation.

"A stretch of the legs could be ideal." Severus replied after a beat and went to stand, book in hand.

 _Wicked_ , Harry thought and he too grabbed his book, well _books_ in his case, and they went to get their coats before venturing outside. The air was cool but not necessarily cold, Harry stuck both hands into his coat and with his Professor in toe they meandered through the gardens. Heading in the direction of the trees, a knot began to grow in the pit of Harry's stomach but he attempted to ignore it.

Severus quickened his pace so he could walk in step with the teen, turning to carefully watch the myriad of expressions that morphed across his face as they approached the tree line. They didn't walk between the trees, but alongside them and down a makeshift track in the dirt. The man wondered if this should be something they discuss, he still hadn't established whether it was just the forest at Hogwarts causing his Slytherin pain or if it was woodlands in general.

He decided that he could bring it up, it wasn't as if they would get very far in this direction anyway if they didn't go through the forest as they would run out of property soon enough. Taking a deep breath and slowing his steps, Severus stopped and looked into the forest, making it obvious to the teen that he wasn't following. Thinking about the potential dangers that could be lurking in a woodlands such as this, he couldn't immediately think of any reason why the two of them couldn't venture through the trees but it was even more incentive for him to bring it up with his student who had now stopped also.

"Sir?" Harry swallowed heavily, refusing to look anywhere but his Professor.

"I have wondered for some time now whether it would be beneficial to test a theory I have." Severus commented, turning to face the teen who was only three steps away from him.

"And that theory would be?" He was pretty sure he knew what was going to be said.

Severus didn't say anything in response, he simply held his hand out expectantly and raised an eyebrow. Harry looked affronted and surprised before he frowned, not wanting to play ball with the man's request to go into the forest. That's essentially what he wanted to test wasn't it? His therapist had asked him the same bloody question but now he had no way of worming his way out and bluffing.

"I know what you're trying to do." Harry took a gentle step back.

"Think on it rationally, Harry. Tell me, in plain terms, what you think will happen if you stepped in there, right now?" Severus took his hand back and let it rest at his side, fully turning in the teen's direction now taking a step forward.

Harry didn't know what to say, he wasn't actually able to articulate why he didn't want to go in there. He felt safe looking from a distance but by now he couldn't ignore the fact his heart was beating crazy in his chest and the image of Voldemort kept trying to creep into his vision. Severus could see the hesitance on his students face but stood his ground, not moving closer or further away, just standing and waiting for an answer.

"I don't know." Harry answered finally after a few minutes, sounding defeated.

"Precisely. I know exactly what you are afraid of Harry. Uncertainty. I can see you are hesitant but you are not alone this time. So, shall we?" Severus offered his hand again but Harry shook his head.

"Yellow… bordering red." Harry whispered, taking another step back.

"Very well." Severus nodded and glanced around them briefly before moving towards a cleared flat area, there was log just in from the treeline that had been felled, so taking his wand he waved it about as Harry watched and transfigured it into a wooden bench.

Sighing, Harry moped and went to join his Professor on the small bench. It was rather short in length, therefore their bodies touched gently along the thigh but it didn't seem to bother the older Wizard who simply placed an arm around Harry's shoulders. It was such a simple action but from the night before it meant a lot.

"You are afraid that if you go in there, you will see him again. I am right, yes?" Severus's voice was soft and deep, Harry let it sink in through his body.

"I've had enough dreams for it to be rational for me."

"That, I do not doubt. You must remember, though Harry, he cannot come back. Do you understand this? There is no _possible_ way for him to disrupt our way of life. Only his remaining deranged followers may be a thorn in the Ministy's side, but not to you."

"He came back before."

"And that was because he had buried eight pieces of his soul amongst various items, one of which I am holding." Severus squeezed the teen gently to emphasise his point.

"What if we missed one."

"Then you and I would not be sitting here and he would still be standing." The man's words we slightly comforting but there was this large chunk of his consciousness that couldn't fathom the information, it was almost as if it didn't _want_ to accept this reality.

"Do you trust me?" Severus leaned his head closer, turning it slightly so his lips were millimeters away from the shell of Harry's ear.

Harry gasped lightly, spluttering, "Of course I do!" He couldn't believe the man had to even ask.

"Then take my damn hand."

Harry could tell he was smirking at the outburst, which made the insult moot and the tone more seductive. He couldn't deny the man to that, he should just get this over and done with then perhaps they could move on with their afternoon. His eyes were trained on the trees in front of him and yes, he took Professor Snape's hand once they stood, not sure whether the thrumming of his heart was due to the forest or physical contact with this strong man that was protecting him.

He supposed the confusion was a good distraction for the time being, it meant he could focus on something other than his confused sexuality and the imminent feeling of death as the trees came closer. Two ridiculously opposing themes. His Professor was in front of him, their arms out straight as Harry tried to slow their pace but when the grip on his hand became tighter he stumbled forward and gripped onto the back of the man's coat tightly. Hiding his face, he distracted himself further by burying his nose in the rough fabric of his winter coat. The scent calmed him immediately and the hand that was still holding his own twitched to rouse him from where he was standing so he removed his face from the material and glanced sideways.

They were now _officially_ standing in the forest even though Harry was merely twenty centimetres within it. Swallowing a sudden lump, he took a deep breath and moved to stand beside the man, looking off into the distance. He could do this, he was a Gryffindor for fuck sake, they were brave and foolhardy and – so very not Slytherin… He remembered the sorting hat had placed him in a new house this year.

 _I can do this, Professor Snape is with me, he has a wand and outlived Voldemort. You'll be fine, just walk. One step at a time. Nothing bad can happen to you here._

Taking the first step, his Head of House matched it and then took another. So far so good, however his heart was continuing to race.

"How does it feel?"

"Overwhelming." Harry replied and closed his eyes for a moment.

Severus nodded but didn't say anything more, the heat radiating from the teen's hand told him more than words could have. All he needed was a push, a gentle reminder that he needed to face this fear in order to move forward. If they could conquer this here, then when they got back to school in the new term they would tackle the next hurdle. Focussing on the present however, he tugged on Harry's hand to walk further into the woods and was surprised when he was not met with resistance like he'd expected.

"It's quite peaceful in here." Harry commented after a few minutes and Severus had to agree, it was very still and not even wildlife graced them with their presence which was probably for the best.

"Take in this feeling, Harry. Memorise, catagorise and document how you feel and what you see. I guarantee the Dark Forest will be the same, each forest has unique quirky things that make them individual, however there is no immaterial presence that will harm you." Severus stopped them, they couldn't see the way they'd come in by now, it was covered by dense tree growth but in this moment, Harry realised he didn't feel fear at all.

Closing his eyes and moving forward, he kept hold of the older Wizards hand as he reached around for an embrace. It was the only thing he could think of in that moment that could further relax him and it appeared to be gladly returned when an arm rested across his shoulders.

"As I said, you are safe." Severus whispered, pulling his mouth close to Harry's ear.

"I know… I should have tried harder to believe you."

"You trusted my judgement, that is sufficient enough."

They stood like this for a while longer before Harry moved back and released the hold he had on his Professor's hand. He took a long hard look around the area, there was a niggling sense of anxiety, however it was only a dull linger in the pit of his stomach. He had done it, he had walked into the forest and no visions had cropped fully into his mind. The longer he stood away from his Professor however, he felt a pressure on his chest, as if something was crushing him. It steadily got harder until he found that his breathing was affected and wildly looked around for the exit but he was totally disorientated.

Harry spun around and raked a hand through his hair, breathing shallow and eyes wide.

"Calm yourself." Severus noticed the teen starting to spiral but he took action and grabbed Harry's hand.

It wasn't until Harry started seeing the bushes from Malfoy manor that he could breath and even then, he was beginning to feel light headed until they reached the end of the trees. He could hear the deep tones of his Professor talking to him but at this point, Harry had no idea what he was saying. He just wanted to get away from there, back into the safety of the manors gardens.

Severus had thought it all seemed far too easy for the teen to have been petrified of such area to be able to freely navigate even with him standing there. No, he had expected something and had been prepared for such an occurrence. What he _wasn't_ going to do however, was the leave the younger Wizard to his own devices. Whether Harry was aware or not, he would be keeping an extemely close eye on him for the remainder of the afternoon and evening. He considered saying something to Draco but as Narcissa had informed him, the blonde was feeling rather under the weather and unsurprisingly hadn't surfaced for the day.

"I – I thought I was doing okay…" Harry's voice was almost a whisper through Severus's words but it made the man stop for a moment.

"It is by no means a failed attempt. We will get you there, Harry."

"Free my mind, right?"

"And unchain those wings." Severus continued before pulling Harry towards the house.

 **. . .**


	27. Chapter 27

**_._**

 **#Onxy:**

 _ **Darling, I honestly love you so much! You're too adorable for me right now. But true to my form, you'll be teased further in this chapter. Though, I am currently writing a special chapter right now that will happen in the future. If you're good I may let slip a little bit about it...**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Yes, I took your comment on board when looking at the finish of that chapter. It wasn't something I'd considered (foolishly), so I appreciate your feedback. Please never stop!**_

 **. . .**

 _Native American Animagi have been closely linked to the legend of the skin walkers. Myths told of evil witches or wizards that could transform into animals, and gained their powers through the sacrifice of a family member…_ Harry's eyes went wide and skipped past the history, getting into the more practical information.

 _The process is complex and does not happen over night. The Witch or Wizard is required to hold the leaf of a Mandrake for no less than thirty one days and nights. It is usual during these times to find visions or hallucinations, therefore this process must be carefully monitored..._

"Well, that's charming." Harry said to himself, shuddering at the thought of a hallucination during class or a vision when he was wandering the corridors.

He was currently stretched across his bed, reading a text he'd found in the library and it was proving to be very educational. He knew exactly where they could get Mandrake leaves from, and if they found trouble he was sure Neville could help him out. A whole month though, that was a long time to be holding anything in your mouth, what if he accidentally swallowed it?

 _Whilst a month is recommended, it has been noterised that strong Witches and Wizards have taken shorter time frames. There are many references to the astrological position of earth and moon that can interfer with this process…_

"Too bad I don't do well in Astronomy…" Harry muttered, rolling onto his back to stare up at the canopy.

"Your exam results attest to that statement." Harry glanced over at the open door to find his Professor standing there with two envelopes in his hand. One of which, was aparently his own as the man came in and placed it on the bed.

"Is it depressing?" Harry asked, taking the envelope and slicing it open with his index finger.

"I believe you will be surprised." Severus replied before promptly turning on his heel and walking out of the room.

Harry had secretly been expecting below standard results due to his meltdown during examinations but when he opened the parchment he almost dropped it. _This can't be right… He's given me Draco's…_ Harry looked at the envelope and saw his own name, then looked at the top of the parchment and saw his name again written at the top.

 _Astronomy – Poor_

 _Charms – Outstanding_

 _Defence Against the Dark Arts – Oustanding (top three)_

 _Potions – Exceeds Expectations_

 _Transfiguration – Outstanding (top three)_

 _Arithmancy – Exceeds Expectations_

 _Care of Magcal Creatures – Exceeds Epectations_

 _Divination – Acceptable_

 _Muggle Studies – Outstanding (top three)_

 _Ancient Runes – Acceptable_

How he managed to get an _Exceeds Expectations_ from Care of Magical Creatures he had no idea, he had hardly been to the class all year… There had to be some mistake. He was going to get up and talk to his Professor but then heard low murmurs coming through the bathroom where the doors hadn't been shut properly. He decided to leave it for now, but would definitely be asking about his grades at a later date.

 _An outstanding in Transfiguration is a great start to this Animagi journey. Perhaps the Headmistress would take me seriously if I ask for her help._ He let a smile appear for that thought and turned back to the book he was reading, suddenly spurred on with reaffirmation that he was strong and knowledgeable to complete this process.

He was quietly reading when he heard the creak of the bathroom door and a sick looking blonde headed boy slowly walked over to the bed before gingerly sitting down. Harry frowned at how unwell he looked but he did have some sympathy for him and offered a small smile.

"Still no better?"

"I don't even remember drinking the levels that would get me feeling this bad. Professor Snape said he had a tonic that might help perk my senses up." Draco commented, pulling the book around on the bed covers so he could read the page.

"Told you. Perhaps you would like to retract your prior statement about Professor Snape's iron liver?"

"My what?"

"Seriously? You don't remember our conversation this morning?" Harry let out a small huff in amusement and shook his head, taking his attention back to his grades, still slightly disbelieved.

"Fuck, I have _never_ been this bad before… and please don't ask me about last nights agenda." There was a pleading in the blondes ovouce, "I couldn't be down for dinner… I just wanted to see if you were okay with your exam results. Professor Snape just gave me mine."

"I'm surprised. I think I'll ask him about them because I shouldn't have gotten some of the grades I should have." Harry replied perplexed, curious now more than ever to know what happened at the Wilbert's.

"I wouldn't argue them. Any luck with this?" Draco narrowed his eyes as he attempted to concentrate on the words.

"Skipped through some grim history but the whole process should take a month or two. I haven't really gotten that far through. You want me to wait until you're feeling better to discuss it further?"

"That's an idea. Sorry, Harry… I'm going to shower and then crawl back into bed. I hope you found something to do today."

"It's fine, go and sleep. I did some more therapy with Professor Snape so it wasn't a wasted day. Perhaps we should visit the beach again tomorrow, some fresh air might help that headache even if the sun doesn't."

"Remind me tomorrow." Draco was already up and by the door when Harry finished and the brunette smiled as he disappeared.

Severus was in his guest bedroom, he had just showered and changed into his nightwear when a soft knock sounded from his door. Knowing exactly who it was, he glanced down at his attire but resigned himself to appearing as such to his Slytherin. Concerned that it was something that he was upset with, he made his way to the door and opened it to find exactly who he thought and gave the teen a short – but half hearted – glare.

"Harry."

"Oh… Sir, I'm sorry I didn't realise – "

"Potter." Severus's eye twitched and he leaned against the wooden frame, his deep green bed robe tightly wrapped around his body.

"It was about my grades, but it can wait. Sorry, again, sir." Harry stepped back, licking his suddenly dry lips and gave the man a once over.

He could remember seeing the man dressed as such at school but he hadn't completely been in his right mind with it all and was only now that he realised how _appealing_ the man appeared without his teaching robes on. It wasn't thoughts he ought to be having though and he quickly turned to scurry down the corridor, pausing at his door to look down at where the man had poked his head around the corner. Blushing, Harry ducked into his own room and slammed the door, pressing his back against the wood. _Merlin's beard… How different did he look?_ Sure, Harry had seen the man in muggle attired the day prior but this was different.

Slinking into bed, he lay on his back and stared up at the canopy in a daze. The image of his Professor reminded him of the old James Bond movies he'd been able to watch at his Aunt and Uncles, mainly because it was Dudley that enjoyed watching them. Bond, with his sultry night robes, mainly red with threaded patterns seducing the gorgeous women with just a look. Professor Snape reminded him of that kind of man, strong and skilful, but was that really correct? Did Harry see the man like that? A shudder worked through his body and a lower part of said body jerked to attention.

Bloody hell, they were friends. Friends didn't exactly think about each other like this did they? _Fuck, it's not like they kiss either_ , Harry reminded himself and cringed at the two times he'd pressed his lips against his Professor's. These indecent thoughts didn't go away however and when he finally closed his eyes he imagined opening them to find his body covered by another, encasing him in a protective hug, blocking him from the rest of the world. Remembering how his Professor made him feel after that night in the Astronomy Tower. His body jerked again and Harry let off a soft moan out of frustration.

He wasn't going to going to commit. Nope, he wouldn't do it. Not when he was in a strange house, with people that he didn't completely know. No, his hand wasn't itching to do it… He couldn't feel the ache in his chestnuts or the tightening in his abdomen. Nope… He… He couldn't wait, no one was going to stop him. His hand acted on its own, his cool fingers just happened to find his hard center and stroked it gently. He wasn't in control what so ever – An Imperios, that's what it had to be be.

" _What am I kidding_?" Harry grunted, slipping his pajama bottoms down to pull himself free.

 **. . .**

Severus woke in the morning, mostly feeling well rested until he realised that something appeared to be missing. It wasn't that he was upset it wasn't there but that niggling in the back of his mind alerted him to something that hadn't been there but appeared to be missing regardless. It was once he was in the shower that he remembered that he'd slept the full night, no interruptions. Was this strange? Absolutely not, especially if one wasn't given the role of caregiver to a certain beautiful green eyed monster called Harry Potter. He had actually expected to be woken that night with some form of yelling or other trauma but he hadn't. It had been a peaceful night, one that left him with a spring in his step as he left for breakfast.

He of course should have realised that it was too peaceful when he saw the mop of brunette hair sitting hunched over a bowl of food. The teen didn't seem to register his arrival until he was moving to sit just in front of him. When Harry _did_ look up, he knew why it had been so quiet that night, it was because his Slytherin hadn't slept a wink at all. His eyes were red but not from crying, just that of exhaustion. His next immediate thought was why he hadn't come to get something for the restlessness but the image of Harry running off after their encounter reminded him of why not.

"Good morning, sir." Severus just looked at him, slightly wary and let it show on his face for a moment before he helped himself to coffee.

"I suppose for those of us that slept last night, then yes, it would be a wonderful morning." He was glad to see the teen recognised what he'd said but it didn't make the man feel any better.

"It's not so bad. Got to see the sunrise." Harry smiled weakly, before going back to his breakfast.

Severus sighed softly and pulled his coffee up to his lips, taking in the aroma before drowning half of it into his stomach. Perhaps a light pick me up would do the younger Wizard some good, he considered this a moment and noted how out of it Harry seemed, then put his plan into action. Eyes lit up as soon as a mug was placed in front of the teen and green orbs filled with something unidentifiable.

"Thank you." Grateful is how Severus defined the tone and he nodded in recognition.

"What had your mind fully occupied last night?" It was just the two of them, so Severus used this to his advantage.

"Nothing in particular. I just felt odd about something, but I still don't know what it is." Which was partly true, to begin with, it had him feeling anxious about the guilty thoughts he'd had about the man but had snowballed.

"You forget, Potter, that I can see when you are lying." _Damn_ , Harry thought and hid his face with his hand as he played with his spoon.

"Ah, you are looking _much_ better today, Draco."

"I definitely feel it, thank you." The blonde replied, taking his seat and helping himself to a large glass of water. "Did you get your grades sorted, Harry?"

"No." Harry avoided any eye contact with Professor Snape and half turned towards Draco, feeling a blush cross his face.

"Can you believe that, sir? Harry thinks he deserves lower grades." Draco was attempting to lighten the mood and it seemed to work for the moment.

"Do not." The brunette mumbled.

"Well, Potter I can certainly arrange something if this were the case."

"Nope, no I'm fine." Harry was adamant and he frowned at Draco who sat there smugly.

The table went silent once more and when Narcissa joined them Severus and Draco were drawn into conversation with her. Harry stayed out of it for now and thought about what he should do for the day. Their winter break was coming to an end and aside from completing his reading requirements he felt like he hadn't really achieved anything. Whilst having started on the Animagi process, he thought that perhaps the wandless magic was a little more important for his situation.

Glancing up at his Defence Professor, he wondered if the older Wizard could offer any helpful hints and tips in regards to mastering this process. Harry knew it wasn't an easy thing to do and required a lot of concentration of energy. He could remember in the Ministry at the end of his fifth year with the Headmaster who was duelling Voldemort, suspending the mental headcase in a sphere of water and used his free hand to boost that magic. If he thought about it carefully, it was almost as if the grey Wizard had been drawing magic from that hand, using two spells simultaneously.

He brought his hands up and looked at his palms, it was worth a shot even though he really had no idea what he was doing. They had learnt in classes about the flow of magic very early on in their education, how it is a current that mirrors that of a meandering river but through the body. It is a continuous circuit and wraps around the magical core deep within the soul. He then remembered an excert from a book he'd been reading with Animagi that had mentioned this energy flow as a key element in the transformation.

Excusing himself from the table, still looking at his open hands, he disappeared and went in search of sanctuary away from prying eyes. Heading through a part of the manor he had yet to venture, he felt a chill run the length of his spine before he opened a door and found a cold room at the end of a corridor. There were many portraits in this room, littering the walls, and turned as one to look at him as he entered. For a moment he wondered if he should even be in the room and with prying eyes focussed solely on him, he knew there was no chance he could focus on his task.

"Creepy." He whispered, back tracking from the room and ignoring the small outrage he caused in the process.

Having a small chuckle to himself he found another room that appeared to be another study and was void of books that should have been lining the shelves. Either this room hadn't been moved into yet or it was just a spare one in the vast manor but Harry didn't care and went to sit in the large bay window that overlooked the gardens towards the beach. Most of the landscape was still covered in white but in the distance he could see the brown sand and blue of the waves. It felt quite peaceful up here and he took a calming breath, cracking the window open so he could get some fresh air into the room.

He looked at his palms once more, folding his legs and placing the backs of his hands on his knees. He needed to find the current, feel the flow of his magic. There was nothing more powerful than a Wizard being in tune with his magical core and if he were to be honest, there had been a lacking in this department for many years. There needed to be some responsibility for himself now, he wasn't a child, it was a maturation into adulthood so why not become in tune with ones magic. It wasn't like he knew what he would be doing at the end of the year anyway.

Severus frowned when Harry left the room with something extremely fascinating about his hands taking his attention. It seemed odd, and considering the state in which he'd found his Slytherin this morning he was most certainly concerned. However, he didn't move for he was mid conversation with Narcissa but stored this action in the back of his mind for later. By later, he meant mid morning where he checked all the places he thought the teen might go but to no avail.

"Blasted brat." He said, standing in the middle of a corridor with no clue where he was supposed to look next.

"Who are you looking for dear? A skinny runt passed through here a while ago."

"What a perfect description." Severus drawled, his hands in both pockets.

"He is at the end of the corridor, last door to the right. I would warn you not to rouse him too suddenly, he is concentrating."

"Concentrating? On what, precisely?"

" _Magic._ " The portrait whispered conspiringly and with a smirk, but Severus ignored it in favour of finding Harry.

He hadn't even made it to the door yet when he felt what appeared to be a surge in a magical signature. Whilst he hadn't been able to identify who's precise signature it was, he was positive that it was Harry's. His next question however, was why the teen was doing this. It took a great deal of strength to be putting out an aura like this and dangerous if it manifested too strongly. The portrait had been correct, if he were to barge in there and surprise Harry then it could hurt them both. So, instead he went back to where he came from, nodding to the woman as he passed her frame.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief when the intrusion came no further; he didn't know who it was but he was afraid that he'd be in trouble. He had found his current and let it fill him up so he was feeling lighter. The magic caused goosebumps up his arms but he felt so in tune with it, as if it were a direct extension of himself. Quite an odd sensation. However, he hadn't managed to visually portray it yet, unlike the previous Headmaster of Hogwarts, as cool as it looked.

 _Perhaps if I focus the magic into my hands…_ He wondered and brought them up so both palms faced each other but were shoulder width apart. Closing his eyes and bringing the magic through his body, he imagined a stream going between his hands, the passing of power from one finger to the other in the same direction as his body's flow.

Draco was half way through lunch when he realised they were a person short and he frowned at Harry's empty place setting; not that he was the only one however. Severus too was eyeing it deep in thought when both were roused by a woman muscling her way into the frame of some fruit up on the wall behind Draco's head.

"That runt."

"Ah, yes." Severus dapped the side of his mouth in preparation of what would be said.

"Has passed out by over doing it."

"Naturally." Severus rolled his eyes and stood, excusing himself from the table with a curt nod to Narcissa.

"Why? What's he been doing?" Draco went to stand also when he was given a glare from his Professor.

"Nothing sleep cannot cure." He replied, leaving the room.

Sure enough, when he carefully opened the aforementioned door at the end of the corridor there was a sleeping form of Harry Potter sprawled across the floor. There was only one thing for it and that was to get him back into bed so he could recover his energy. Perhaps after this they could delve into what had kept the younger Wizard awake that night, he had no doubt that if he had of slept well this wouldn't have happened.

Carefully picking up the seemingly weightless teenager, he manoeuvred his way through doors and the stairs. He went straight for Harry's bedroom, though there was a brief moment where he considered his own as there were books and such he could occupy his mind with whilst the teen slept. Yes, that's what he was going to do, he couldn't brew anything while they were at the manor and so the best he could do was marking, reading or going outside for a wander. He reasoned that Harry's wellbeing was his excuse for sliding onto the bed next to his Slytherin, even though he was on top of the covers and Harry beneath them.

 **. . .**

Severus had been reading for a few hours and was feeling drowsy himself. This wasn't exactly how he'd thought to be spending his last few days at the manor, but alas here he was. His hand rhythmically ran across the teen's head and it was this repetition that had his own eyes closing as he sat almost upright but slightly slouched against the headboard.

Over the course of these hours, he had heard various mumblings that were incoherent but this was a waking groan that had Severus tensing. Harry shook himself from the sheets that had kept him in place and rolled over to face him. As if sensing his warmth through the covers, he watched in horrifying slowness as his Slytherin slid closer to him, pressing his forehead into Severus's waist. There was a deep sigh from the teen after this and a hand came up, loosely draping over his thighs.

It seemed so casual, so carefree… and completely inappropriate; but for what of a better action, Severus had no option but to rest his free arm along Harry's side, curling around his stomach as he lay on an angle next to him. It was a loving gesture, completely trusting. It would have been the perfect time to remove himself and escape the room to get some belated lunch but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Why? Because secretly Severus Snape, lifelong loner and bit of a bastard, had never experienced something so tender in many, _many_ years. As he had realised before, Harry had a kind soul, an innocent one but kind.

"Don wanna go."

Severus smiled fondly down at the sleeping Wizard and let his thumb stroke the material of the teen's jumper sub consciously. As he did this, he felt an overwhelming sense of peace wash over him. Whilst at first it made him uncomfortable as he hadn't ever experienced an embrace such as this, now he felt something else. Something strange but not unwelcomed.

 _And in turn, I hope you find peace with him_.

The echo of Harry's psychiatrist's voice invaded his mind as a tiny frown marred the young Wizards face for a moment before disappearing. Was peace even achievable? Full inner peace? Whilst he was experiencing something akin to that right now he didn't believe it was permanent and was not a fool to think otherwise.

The grumbling form beside him shifted once more but this time it was because he began to wake properly. Severus withdrew his hand at this point but a loud groan caused him to pause for a moment, long enough for warm fingers to lace with his own and pull the hand back. To say he was surprised would be an understatement, the act was completely unguarded and Severus had a hard time trying to pull his hand back.

"Harry…" He let his words speak for him, trusting them more than his actions.

He was given a soft mumble in response, so he repeated the teen's name, a little more forcefully this time and went to pull his hand away.

"No."

"Harry, please." He tried for a third time, finally rousing the teen who lifted his head until Severus was looking into two tired and wary emerald orbs.

There was confusion for a moment, then realisation hit and Harry froze. Severus was watching him carefully, his eyes sliding down to where their hands were still intertwined but neither made the effort to move away.

"I, uh… H-How did I get here?" Harry looked back and then licked his lips, not meeting the older Wizards eye.

"I think I should be the one asking what on earth you were doing in that room? It was clear you were exhausted to begin with, it seems you tired yourself out."

"Oh, that's right." Harry shifted finally, the awkward half angled position had started to cramp up his back, however he refused to let go of the man's hand and came to rest against the headboard with the strong arm behind him.

"I was practicing my wandless abilities after remembering seeing Professor Dumbledore doing something."

"You could have hurt yourself." Severus reminded the teen, unstable magic was cause for concern.

"To be honest, I didn't really know what I was doing." Harry met the man's eye briefly and shook his head in tired amusement.

"Indeed."

They sat there for a moment, Harry felt drowsy and groggy after the nap and it wasn't something he liked to feel. Being next to Professor Snape was nice though and for the first time since he had parted ways that night with the man, he felt fully relaxed. It was becoming clear that after the exhausting venture into the forest, he should have stayed closer to his Professor, should have let the man look after him. He should have done a lot of things, but that was in the past, even as recent as it was.

"What kept you awake last night? Would it have something to do with our activities yesterday?" Severus took a deep breath, feeling safe enough to leave his arm where it was, holding onto his student.

"I just didn't want to annoy you." Harry replied honestly, and Severus's eyes widened slightly.

"Annoy me? What possessed you to think this?"

"Are you kidding?" Harry leaned forward so he could twist his upper body to turn back towards the Professor, "You've always been a man who valued his space and privacy – Well, it's been assumed anyway… I figured you wouldn't want me impeding on your break when you have to deal with me for the rest of the year."

Severus just sat there and looked at the teen, his brows raised mostly in surprise but he felt himself growing that little bit closer to his Slytherin, respecting him all the more for the consideration he was being given. It was unnecessary however and he intended on telling him this before he got any more ideas that he was being a nuissance.

"I appreaciate the concern, however you forget who volunteered to tack onto this journey with you." At Harry's confused look, he continued, "It was I that pushed for this, I that could see how Dr. Fletcher was hindering rather than helping, and I who pursuaded the Headmistress. I will admit that it surprised even myself where I became so persistent, though I do not regret any action I took that has led to where you and I are today." Harry listened carefully and at the end of the man's confession he felt his eyes well gently with tears.

"I was not intending for quite that reaction." Severus felt his cheeks redden suddenly but his self consciousness disappeared when Harry landed on top of him, burying his brunette hair into his chest and wrapping arms behind his back.

"Thank you." The words were muffled but Severus made them out, "I really need to remember this."

"And why is that?" Severus huffed with a small smile.

"So that when I feel the world is overwhelming me, you'll be there to help me."

"Would you like to know something that no one else has been informed of?" Severus pushed the teen back gently so they were looking at each other.

"What's that?"

"I always have."

Harry was about to wipe away the tear that worked its way free only to find a warm hand on his cheek, wiping it away for him. At this moment, he felt as though it were just the two of them in the world. It seemed to be a bubble encompassing them both into a space entirely their own and no one was able to penetrate the safe walls. _Always_ , it was a word that had been thrown about freely this past year from both his mother and the man he was still clinging on to. Severus could feel it also but he knew the dangers of continuing this path and decided to change the subject, remembering that Harry had wanted to discuss his grades from examinations.

"You wanted to question your marks?" The question seemed to confuse the teen for a moment before realisation dawned and he suddenly moved out of Severus's grasp, leaving a cool spot beside him.

"I'm not entirely disputing them but – "

"You are."

"Well – " Harry snorted, "Yeah… I am."

"Which part is confusing for you? The fact that your hard work paid off even though the stress had you in a tail spin?"

"Why are they so good? I was sure that Potion's would have been a complete write off… and look at my Care of Magical Creatures. I hardly even went to that class." Harry frowned and passed the parchment to his Professor, settling back against his side like they had been sitting previously.

"Harry, have you heard of compassionate consideration?"

"No, sir."

"It is where a student, who may be struggling for one reason or another, is given an average grade across each class through various tests and such that are given out during the term. It is not common, but in your case, Harry, we felt that these extra ordinary circumstances were not a true representation of your knowledge. So, whilst you may not have been in class with Hagrid for part of the term, those assignments I had you do went a great deal towards that final grade during examinations."

"Oh…"

"You should be proud of your results. Not all classes were necessary however; you did exceptionally well in my class for example. I did not need to take your previous tests for that, it was all you. If you need further proof of this, then look at the comment next to that grade."

"Top three…?"

"One of the top three marks across your year. I can tell you, though I am not supposed to, that you achieved _the_ top mark for Defence."

This made Harry feel a little better and he gave the man a satisfied smile, taking the parchment back and putting it back on the bedside table. He supposed it would be beneficial to get up, he had no idea what the time was but given it was still bright outside, he assumed it was just after lunch. A quick glance over at the clock next to his bed however showed it was mid afternoon and he gasped.

"How long did I sleep for?"

"Your body required it, though I would like to have you eat something before dinner. How hungry are you?" Severus was desperately trying not to let his stomach grumble when he mentioned food.

"If I said I wasn't hungry?"

"A light snack it is." Severus gave the teen a quick smirk and peeled himself away from the slender body, reluctantly letting go. "I shall get the house elf to organise something, I will meet you in the dining room in ten minutes."

Harry nodded and watched the man walk stiffly out of the room, he appeared to be limping gently. When the man disappeared and closed the door, he flopped back down onto the bed and extended his arms out either side of his body. He really enjoyed the man's company, he never wanted this break to end if this was the type of quality time he got to spend with the older Wizard. He was so different when out of the classroom and even more so when he was off Hogwarts grounds.

He didn't want the holiday break to end, but with only a few more days before they were to be boarding the Hogwarts Express, he felt minor panic that he wasn't going to have this once they got back. Time was precious and limited, perhaps he should take the man up on his assurance that he wasn't a pest and spend as much time as he could with him.

 **. . .**


	28. Chapter 28

**.**

Realisation that Harry had only one more day before he had to pack up and pile into the Hogwarts Express had him in a mood from the moment he woke up. Even worse was that Professor Snape would be leaving later that night so he wouldn't see him again until the welcoming feast back at school. This mood was so extreme, petulant even, that he refused to get out of bed and missed breakfast completely. In his mind it was completely justified but also overlooked the fact the more time he spent wrapped up in a burrito of blankets, the less physical time he could spend with his Professor.

Due to Harry's absence at the breakfast table and general lack of presence as lunch rolled round, Draco stormed towards his bedroom and all but kicked in the door, ranting like a madman. He stopped halfway through his speech when he saw the pile of blankets and pulled out his wand.

"Potter, you have three seconds to show yourself before I blast the bed to pieces."

" _You wouldn't do that._ " Harry replied, but it wasn't comprehendible through the muffling of blankets.

"I have no idea what that was, but you're being ridiculous."

Harry finally popped his head out, "I don't want to go back."

" _Seriously?_ " Draco's eyebrows disappeared under his fringe, then he went in further and sat on the edge of the bed as Harry wrangled himself partially free.

"It's peaceful here. Mrs. Malfoy is very hospitable, I get to hang out with you and Professor Snape is here. It's literally a dream." He half smiled, suddenly feeling a stupid for his reasoning and blushed.

"Being around Professor Snape is a dream?" The blonde half laughed.

"When you say it like _that_ it sounds different." Retorting with a grumble, "He calms me, it's nice not to always feel anxious."

"Oh, okay." At this Draco shrugged, "I suppose that makes sense. But regardless, if you're holed up in here that's less time you get to spend with him doing… whatever it is you two do."

Harry grumbled, realising his oversight, "Damn."

"It's nearly lunch, by the time you get yourself ready it will be served."

Severus pushed himself away from the wall and wandered back down the corridor before he was found by Draco. Hearing his newest Slytherin speak the way he did, it sounded like he had made his home here but knowing the teen more personally it was clear that _he_ was the reason for this. To find out that Harry suffered daily anxiety was normal but he knew how crippling it was to experience. Suddenly there was an emotion that he was quite familiar with, guilt. He felt guilty that he hadn't spent more time with Harry, that they hadn't gotten very far with scars and forests… Having a spat in the middle of their break had done an injustice for them both.

Not wanting to seem desperate or to lead the teen on, he would quietly make himself available after lunch if that's what the younger Wizard wanted. He hadn't quite expected such a dramatic reaction to being told he would have one day less together but Severus was not a fool to realise they had formed a close bond.

When Harry was alone once more he slipped off the bed and with a change of clothes shut himself away in the bathroom. After turning on the water, he looked himself over I the mirror once his bed shirt had come off. He looked no better than when he'd come to the Manor physically; he still had large bags under his eyes and the paleness of his face was still there. At least he could look at his arms even though the moment he did a gut-wrenching emotion twisted his stomach.

What had happened as an accident, had now brought him one step closer with coming to terms with the deformed skin. Exposing the flesh to fresh air, it had lost some of the pink colour but it was still a long way from healing unlike the other lines along his arms. _I'm still a long way from accepting these but at least it doesn't make me want to throw up_ , he thought, taking his eyes off his arm and back up towards the mirror.

By lunch, Harry quickly moved down towards the dining hall where the other three were. Draco huffed when he took a seat but what disheartened him was that his Professor didn't seem to even notice his arrival. Narcissa passed comment but he couldn't lie to her, that would be unfair and a major insult to her hospitality.

"I just didn't feel like getting up, Mrs. Malfoy. My mood would have ruined everyone's breakfast."

"Oh dear, well I hope you're feeling better now." She smiled warmly at him and he nodded.

His comment had clearly been heard from across the table and when he slid his eyes around the room he found himself catching a pair of black eyes. They were curiously observing him, almost wary, which was something Harry couldn't understand and caused him to experience a cold chill. He dared himself to look away, not used to maintaining eye contact for this length of time but it seemed after a moment the older Wizard had seen what he was looking for and glanced away.

 **. . .**

Harry wandered the corridor, in an attempt to find a certain tall, dark and brooding individual. He had tried the normal places to no avail and was about to give up when he caught sight of a foot lightly swinging from the corner of his eye. This was a living area Harry hadn't been in before, though there were many, and realised it was the very man he had been trying to find. He was sitting there with the fire crackling away but didn't have a book or the newspaper, he was simply staring into the fire as he relaxed into the arm chair.

"Sir…?" Harry roused him quietly, using a soft voice.

"Harry." Turning his head, Severus saw the hesitant student and tilted his head.

"May I join you?" Timid as he was, the brunette was still walking slowly into the room but quickened his pace when he received a nod.

"I had expected to see you this morning, how it surprised me that you were in such a foul mood."

Harry paused on his way past, he had intended on sitting on a couch not far from where the man was sitting but thought of a better idea. Going back to school meant less time together, it meant less time for talking and for touch. So, recalculating his journey, he stopped right at the man's feet and plonked himself on the floor, sitting half sideways so he could look at him as well as lean against the chairs arm.

"I realised it was only a day away from school starting again… and a day less that…"  
He stopped himself, wondering if he was about to sound pathetic.

He needn't have worried of course, Severus had already heard the conversation from earlier and had had time to think about the next course of action. Noting how hesitant the younger Wizard was, he lifted his hand that rested along the chairs arm and brought it forward, resting it on Harry's head. It was a calming gesture, he noted this not too long ago, and also had a therapeutic affect for himself. The teen clearly hadn't expected it as he watched the young face morph in surprise, to relax, then shift so he could see whatever anxieties were plaguing him disappear from those bright green eyes.

"We will continue meeting regularly, if this is something you are worried about."

"I guess I was a little bit." Harry replied, sagging his shoulders.

Severus hummed in response to this, "I had noticed."

"I'm sorry about this morning."

"Your apology is not required, I believe you have already done so to Narcissa. You should not be so afraid to return, you are almost at the half way point of the last year. It should be exciting to finally finish."

"I feel like it isn't that straight forward."

"And what is complicating it?" Severus removed his hand and placed both hands in his lap as he looked down upon his student.

"Well… I still have a long way to go, don't I? I just feel so confused about everything, like literally everything." He looked through his bangs at the man, reminding him of his sexual confusion, "This year isn't particularly panning out the way I wanted it to. I didn't even want to come back."

At this, Severus straightened up and leaned against the arm before moving his upper body forward and closer to his student. It stung to hear Harry didn't want to come back and he shuddered to think where he might be right now if he hadn't of gotten some beneficial help. He bent down far enough so that he could whisper, not that it was required but he felt it might give a different reaction and meaning.

"I am very glad that you _did._ "

Seeing the smallest widening of eyes at his response, the aim was to ensure Harry had meaning, that he wasn't coming back to school just for the sake of it. He needed to remember that there were people that cared about him. There was still so much self-deprecating going on in that young mind, it reminded Severus that deep down, there was a fragile soul healing from years of abuse. Abuse dealt by his _family_ , though he used the term loosely, and from Albus; even the Dark Lord. Physically Harry was becoming an adult, emotionally he had an old soul but mentally he had been broken and stripped back.

That was why Severus wasn't surprised to see the teen sticking his chin up, bringing their faces closer together. He didn't budge, instead holding solid ground as he held eye contact with Harry. There was a dare, but his eyes were hard and resolute. If this was what Harry truly wanted then it would happen and he held his breath at the same moment his Slytherin stopped. They were quite close, enough that one push forward would see them colliding.

After a few moments, Harry lowered his eyes and in turn turned his face downwards. There was clear embarrassment, the blush appearing on the teens cheeks giving it away but had proved a point Severus had thought earlier in the break when they were at dinner together. Harry's small voice broke through is musings, and he noticed his lack of action had caused the teen distress.

"You didn't exactly dissuade me."

"There was no need. Your reaction has told me more than I could have ever said to you."

"I don't follow." Harry felt ashamed.

"Let me comfort you in other ways, Harry. It is not me that you want, you couldn't want that. It is the idea, a faint image or fantasy – " Harry's face went tomato red, feeling that he had been caught out for prior actions.

" – that thinks it is appealing when in actual fact, the reality of it happening scares you. I am not about to breach your trust in me by giving you that only to have you turn around and regret it. _That_ is why I did nothing; your mind knew better. If I were to keep denying you, you would keep wanting it."

"I'm sorry."

"Simple psychology. Think nothing more on it and concentrate on the other ways we can work through your needs."

Harry wasn't entirely sure, he wanted to kiss him badly but why hadn't he? His Professor said that deep down he knew better, so supposedly that might have been true but he didn't completely believe it. There was more of a disbelief that he hadn't been stopped and supposedly been allowed to. But it made Harry wonder what would have happened if he'd suddenly chosen to go ahead with it. Perhaps that was the whole point, to get him thinking about what he wanted. _Still, he didn't have to degrade himself like that – you couldn't want that – he doesn't know what I want_. Huffing, he belatedly realised even _he_ didn't know so it was all really a moot point.

"Why don't we get out of the Manor for an hour. After that, regretfully I must head back to Hogwarts."

Nodding, Harry was about to stand when he found a hand being held out for him. Taking it, he was easily hoisted into standing and stumbled straight into the man. However neither really cared, Harry even staying pressed against him for a little longer than was necessary. He didn't want the break to end but it had, and tomorrow they would be getting back on the train to school. How that was going to change things between him and his Professor, he didn't know. All he knew was that as they disappeared around a large hedge and an arm lazily draped over his shoulders, whatever challenges he faced would never be alone.

 **. . .**

Harry walked onto the Hogwarts grounds with mixed emotions, there was a lot more noise than he had dealt with over the Christmas break. His eyes immediately sought out the head table when he walked into the Great Hall with Draco and a sense of calmness washed over him. He had been so anxious that he had started to see the darker rings under his eyes which were permanent but looked worse that he hadn't slept very well.

Draco and Harry had started reading over that time on Animagi transformations. There were a few books on the subject but he knew that there would be more in the Hogwarts library. He knew that they needed to source some Mandrake leaves, and both agreed that this would be something to get done quickly. Neither of them were taking Herbology but with Harry's invisibility cloak, the blonde had been adamant it would be an easy fix.

"Stop staring at him. He was gone for one day." Draco whispered half way through dinner.

"What?" Harry relinquished his held gaze on their Head of House and focussed on Draco.

"I'm not blind, you've been watching the head table ever since we arrived. It's not like he disappeared."

"I know… I've just been feeling anxious." Harry admitted, and played with his food.

"About what? You've seemed fine." Draco didn't seem to understand.

"Never mind." Harry looked back up at the head table and right into the eyes of his Professor.

Severus brought his goblet up to his lips, took a gentle sip and placed it back on the table all without breaking eye contact with his favourite student. Yes, Harry Potter had wormed his way well into his life and it had taken him only one day to realise this once he had come back to the castle. It had been pleasant having the teen around but when he was in his private rooms, looking about as if he thought to be missing something he realised it was the presence of another. He had gone and spent an evening with Minerva once he realised this, they had things to talk about anyhow but it wasn't the same.

Plainly put, Severus missed his friend. Harry was firstly his student, but he had meant what he said when they went out for dinner. Looking at said student now however, there appeared to be something wrong, he could see the pale face glancing up at him nervously. Instinctively he thought the teen had done something stupid but that didn't seem to be it, it was his eyes that gave him away and he wondered if he should seek him out after the feast. He had to be sure that he was safe of course, so it wasn't that he was itching to be with Harry once more.

Finally dragging his eyes away from Professor Snape, Harry found his gaze locating Hermione sitting across the hall, she seemed sad and he frowned, trying to look subtly around some ones head when they shifted. The action caught Draco's attention and he too looked in the Ravenclaw's direction.

"Is something the matter with, Granger?"

"It looks like it, she usually seems grateful to be back. I'll catch her after dinner." Harry replied, then went back to his dinner that had gone cold.

Hermione Granger _was_ miserable, she hadn't had the best time at the Burrow, even though she thought that the relationship with Ron was salvageable but it seemed like it was not to be. Christmas Eve had started the ball rolling and he couldn't drop the topic of Harry staying with Draco Malfoy for the break. She was, on occasion, self-conscious about the blade carved scar that branded her arm but she didn't need to be constantly reminded about it. Whilst she was touched that Ron seemed to be angry about it and wanting to avenge the act, it was growing tiresome.

Ginny hadn't helped the situation, every time Ron brought up Harry's name she would then start talking about how much she missed him and wished he had been there. It was suffocating after a week and she was glad to be back at Hogwarts, her boyfriend had been by her side right up until she sat at Ravenclaw table. It seemed that even he was starting to see that something was wrong but his presence wasn't what she needed right now. She wanted her friends…

Harry was looking at her, she could feel his gaze for a while so glancing up she noticed the dark circles under his eyes and frowned. Managing a weak smile, she nodded to him, signalling they would talk later. For now, she just wanted to be with Luna, in times like these she was proving to be a lovely distraction even though she still didn't have a clue what a Wrackspurt was.

"I wonder if something happened with that red bulldog?"

"I'll find out later… unless of course you want to comfort her?" Harry let a small smirk pull at his lips, it was clear Draco was more concerned than he let on.

"What? No way, she's _your_ friend." The blonde sniffed in response and this time Harry couldn't help but smile.

 **. . .**

Harry didn't manage to catch Hermione after dinner, he was almost at Ravenclaw table when Professor Snape had stepped in front of him, indicating they should leave together. Frustrated that he couldn't comfort his friend, he gave her a pleading expression before following diligently towards the Dungeons. She seemed to understand, if not a little disappointed, and got up herself when Luna mentioned an early night.

"Potter, I distinctly remember telling you that should your appearance have changed upon arrival back at Hogwarts, that it would be noticed. You did not inform me you were having trouble." Harry glanced up at the man he was walking in step with and frowned.

"I promised I wouldn't hurt myself and I didn't." Harry glanced behind them both to make sure no one was within ear shot only to find they were alone, save for the portraits.

"Then why does it look like you have not slept a wink since I left?" Severus kept his head forward, not looking in the teen's direction once.

"I just couldn't."

"Will you sleep tonight or do you require help?"

Harry thought about it for a moment, he should be okay for the night. He was back at Hogwarts anyway and yes, he felt better now that his Professor was within that same space also. It felt strange, he had been anxious for since the moment he apparated away and now he felt exhausted, relaxed but low on energy.

"I'll be fine." He replied, then as if on cue a yawn slipped through his mouth and he covered it quickly, but not before he heard an amused huff from beside him.

"That will satisfy for now." Severus had walked them to the Slytherin common room and they stood outside in the cold corridor.

"I have been thinking about how we progress from here. It would be beneficial to see you at least once a week, perhaps in the evening. Would a particular day suit?" Severus put both hands in his pockets, the cold starting to creep into his fingers.

"Perhaps a Wednesday? It's in the middle of the week…" Harry shrugged and raked a hand through his hair.

"Wednesday will suffice. We will start this week, come and see me at seven thirty, down here. There seems no point in us both trudging up to my classroom and it will be more comfortable."

 _Wow, an open invitation to his rooms…_ Harry tried to hide his glee at this and simply nodded mutely, slouching his shoulders a little to show some form of hesitance.

"Very well, off you go. I do not want to hear that you have fallen asleep in class tomorrow."

"Yes, sir." Harry gave the man a short smile before turning towards the portrait, however just before he went inside he turned around only to find his Professor hadn't moved, "Goodnight, sir."

"Goodnight, Potter."

Turning back to the portrait he finally heard the shuffling of feet moving off down the corridor and took a deep breath. It was good to speak with the man again, things hadn't really changed between them which he was glad to note, he didn't know how he would have felt if it was all stiff and formal again. Of course, the older Wizard was his Professor, but they had done things that teachers and students wouldn't normally do.

Harry slept like a log, as soon as his head hit the pillow he was out for the count and didn't wake until Draco dragged him out of bed the next morning. He felt well rested, calm and for once – happy. It still felt early and he yawned as they entered the Great Hall but when he saw Hermione he bolted over to her and sunk into the bench beside her, forgetting about Draco who tailed him gingerly.

"Morning, Hermione." The brunette smiled at her and she grinned right back.

"Hi Harry, it's so good to see you." She leaned around him and gave him a tight hug, "Draco." She nodded and the blonde returned the nod as he sat in front of them both.

"How was the break?" Harry looked down the hall and saw the very bunch of Gryffindor's he assumed she didn't want to see.

"It was okay, although it does feel good to be back. Ginny kept asking about you… I'll be honest, it got a little frustrating. You should really owl her to clear the air."

"I know, but it's hard to know what to say. Plus, I don't have an owl remember?" Harry ground his teeth, still bitter about his first ever friend dying at the hands of a filthy Death Eater.

"It was either going to be her or you. I think you know what the preferred option was."

"I would have preferred neither of us died, thank you." Harry sniffed and shoved his plate away.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up." Hermione brought his plate forward and handed him more bacon as a peace offering, she always knew what food he liked.

"I'm sorry for snapping, it's still a sore topic. Both of them actually, I mean what do you even tell your ex-friends younger sister that you just don't want to be with them anymore? That your preferences have changed and there are things a _little_ more important than worrying about love." Harry sighed into his breakfast and missed the shared look between Hermione and Draco as he said it.

"Probably what you just said really." Draco offered, and shrugged when Harry glanced up at him.

"Yeah, to the point would be best. Then she has no way of misinterpreting." Hermione added, "But moving on, how did the two of you enjoy the break?"

"Yes, Harry, how _did_ you enjoy my hospitality?" Draco smirked, taking a spoonful of cereal.

"Oh, right – funny guy of the century sitting in front of us." Harry rolled his eyes but smile nonetheless.

"Okay… what have I missed?" Hermione grew a warm smile at them both, it was good to see them working so well together.

"Only that Draco failed to mention that Professor Snape is a very close family friend of the Malfoy's and had been invited to stay for the break also."

"Don't be fooled by his attitude, he rather enjoyed the company. Didn't you, Harry?" Draco goaded and Hermione let out a small laugh.

"It's good that the two of you are getting along then, isn't it? Hopefully he wasn't too awful to you." Hermione smiled warmly at her friend who nodded hesitantly.

"It was fine, Hermione and Draco you really do know how to tell a tall tale."

"Oh, come on, your reaction that first morning was priceless. I wish I'd taken a photo, you were both so pissed." At this the blonde laughed freely, not a sound many had heard in a long time and the Ravenclaw watched him in subtle awe for a moment before looking down at her plate.

"The manor was fine, we did a lot of homework and reading, then – "

"Wait, reading?" Hermione could hardly believe her ears.

"Yes… reading?" Harry narrowed his eyes at her but she waved it off.

"Apologies, please continue this tall tale." She teased and Harry rolled his eyes.

The conversation was light and continued for the remainder of breakfast until they trudged their way into class. Throughout the day, Harry partially paid attention as his mind was on other things, mainly his Animagi transformation. He wanted to start the process immediately but he had read on the dangers of attempting this magic before the body was ready and didn't particularly want to be stuck in a partial transformation. It was hard to change back if a Witch or Wizard were to get stuck.

As he sat through his final class for the day, he doodled on the page he was supposed to be writing notes on. He hadn't a particular shape in mind but as he drew one line, then another… he realised, sitting back, that he'd drawn the Deathly Hallows symbol. Pulling a face, he tore the page out of his book gently and threw it into his bag. It had been haunting him for a while now, connecting the dots around the tail and working out who had played what role in the war.

Voldemort died for power, that much was painfully obvious. Harry, well he'd greeted Death as a friend, didn't he? Professor Dumbledore had been there to see him before giving him a choice on whether he wanted to go back or not. That left the one that died for love; some might say this was many people but for Harry he knew exactly who that would have been. It still gave him goose bumps to think about how he treated Professor Snape when they'd arrived back at Hogwarts to find the lost Diadem of Ravenclaw.

 _Always_.

He'd heard this word a lot recently. It seemed so permanent, promised so much. It took that of what was in the present and foretold the future, that someone or something would still be there, always. Harry puffed air out of his nose gently, _sort of looks like an 'A', doesn't it_ , he thought as he unknowingly had drafted another on the fresh page of his book.

 _Always._

It could be a symbol of his, couldn't it? No one would know what it meant but to him it would represent something new that was developing. He was healing, even though it was slowly, and largely due to the fact that Professor Snape was now an integral part of it. He smiled and turned the symbol into a fancy _'always'_ and then sat back in his seat, feeling rather proud of the connections he had made.

 **. . .**

Wednesday evening and Harry walked down to his Professor's private rooms, knocking on the door loud enough that it stung his knuckles. He didn't have to wait long for the door to open and his Professor to usher him in. The room was warm, toasty enough that he didn't need his jumper on but hesitant about taking it off, he idly wondered if this was a ploy to initiate talking about his scars.

"Hello, Harry. Please, take a seat." Severus led him to the couch and gently touched his shoulder, motivating him to sit before took the other end of the couch.

"How have you transitioned back into classes?"

 _No need for small talk then,_ Harry thought.

"They've been fine although being out of school is always better than being _in_ it."

"Now, is that how you _truly_ feel?" Severus wasn't as serious as he usually was and Harry picked up on the lighter tone immediately.

"Of course, I would much rather spend that time with you than in class." Harry realised what he'd said immediately after he said it and felt his cheeks blush, he hadn't meant it to sound so soppy.

"Indeed." Severus almost chuckled but deemed it necessary to move onto the real reason why they were meeting, "I would like to know how you coped after I left Malfoy Manor, you clearly did not sleep. Why not?"

"I was feeling anxious but I didn't feel like there was one direct reason for this."

"And whilst you were laying awake at night, what were you thinking of?" Severus was leaning comfortably back into the couch, his body angled so he could watch the transformation of emotions showing on the teen's face.

"Uhm…" Harry didn't particularly want to answer that, it sounded quite desperate and not something he wanted to admit.

"Harry, what were you thinking of?" Severus asked again, a little more force in his voice than the first time he asked, he didn't like to repeat himself.

"School work and coming back to Hogwarts. I thought about the forest and that time we went into the one at Malfoy's…"

"And?"

"Why does there have to be an ' _and_ '?"

"You are an atrocious liar and story teller. I can tell when you are not giving me the complete truth."

"Fine, I was thinking about you. How I missed spending time with you and the security you gave me." Harry rushed out and emphasised the point with extending his arms out before dropping them into his lap.

"Was that so hard?" Severus asked, crossing his legs, "I also found myself missing your presence, however that was over ridden by the thoughts of how you were getting on. I should have informed you earlier that I was leaving, but admittedly I did not realise it would impact you this great."

"It's done now, sir."

"Indeed, it is. You have had time to digest what happened in the forest over the break, how do you feel about exploring it once more, this time at Hogwarts?"

"Nervous. It was easier to separate things when I wasn't at school."

"Understandable. If you do not have pressing matters to attend this weekend, perhaps we could venture to the edge of the Dark Forest and try once more."

Harry looked into his lap and chewed on his bottom lip; anxious memories and feelings were starting to develop in his stomach at the mere mention of entering the forest and he was nowhere near it. He could only imagine the mess he would be in the weekend when he was actually made to confront the trees once more.

"I don't like the sound of it."

"Even if I am there with you? I gave you a promise, Harry. You are never alone."

"I know you did… but…" Harry took a deep breath, a weight on his chest pressing down and his throat closing.

"There is nothing to fear, absolutely nothing." Severus scooted across the couch when he saw the teen closing in on himself and placed an arm around his shoulders.

"There is a fine line between taking your time and delaying the inevitable. _You_ know, deep down, that this is something that requires attention; just like those scars on your arms. Best to get it out of the way now and allow yourself time to heal."

Harry heard what he was saying, he knew that the man was right but they had just gotten back to school and he had things he wanted to achieve. A set back would only cause him more pain which is why he was stalling. The arm draped across his shoulders wasn't helping his resolve either, the man was stroking his bicep and he was enjoying it.

"What if I lose it again?"

"I think you should have a little more faith in yourself. Then again, we will not know until we try." Severus squeezed his shoulder gently and angled himself so he could look at Harry's face.

The closeness had Harry feeling very hot, not only was the fire making the room warm but his school shirt was starting to get damp along his back and the heat radiating from his Professor only increased his internal temperature. He fidgeted and then had to move forward out of the older Wizards touch, he was almost panting and his face was growing red. He had to strip a layer, it was either that, or leave but he didn't think the man was quite done with him yet.

"Is it just me, or is it ridiculously warm in here?" Harry commented, pulling his jumper off and over his head, revealing his white school shirt and Slytherin tie that dislodged itself.

"Are you comfortable with me, or are you not conscious of them any longer?" Severus rested his arm against the back of the couch as his student rolled up the sleeves on his shirt, clearly oblivious to the action.

"What? Oh…" Harry looked down at the marks on his arms and went to roll his sleeves down again only to be physically stopped.

"No. I will not have you covering them up. Not when you are with _me_. Do you understand that?" Harry was surprised at the passion behind his Head of House's voice.

"I – "

"No, do you _understand_?"

"Y-Yes." The brunette stammered, taken back by the action.

Severus let Harry go and sat back to let the teen think about what had been said. He needed the younger Wizard to be okay about the marks now bared on his arms, he couldn't go the remainder of his life covering them up. Naturally, Severus wasn't the best advocate for such actions but Harry didn't need to connect those dots just yet. He wanted to create a space where his Slytherin could be himself, he didn't care about the warts to Harry's personality because he wasn't perfect either.

"No one but I can see you here and I have seen your darkest moments."

"And yet, you still want to be friends."

"Indeed." Harry gave him a soft smile and carefully leaned back so he was under the wing of his Professor once more.

So, the Dark Forest; this weekend. He supposed it wouldn't be the end of the world if he just agreed to go and stand at the edge. Even if they went in, just a little bit, he was sure he could be fine. If anything, the last situation he wanted to find himself in would be freaking out in front of other students. Perhaps if they did it during lunch time or later in the afternoon when the temperature became cooler, then no one would be around to see the two of them. He thought on it some more in silence and it seemed the quiet was welcomed as they both sat there, not talking for another half hour.

 **. . .**

"You spend enough time with Professor Snape that you could go into his personal laboratory and take two leaves."

"I'm pretty sure I read somewhere they must be fresh." Harry said, almost too hopefully.

"You're seeing him on Saturday, yes? Just do it then." The blonde was being relentless.

"I'd rather not, it isn't a social event. It's therapy." Harry grumbled and flicked through the pages of a book he swiped from the Restricted Section the night prior.

"Where's your cloak, let's go to green house five and get them." Draco was itching to get the process started on their Animagi.

"All right, all right, _let's_ go." Harry pushed the restricted book under his bed and rummaged around in his trunk for the cloak before following Draco out into the common room.

"Hey, where are _you_ two off to? It's nearly curfew!" Harry glanced over his shoulder at a seventh year Prefect that he hadn't learnt the name of still but didn't stop, if he were then he would have left by force.

"Who is that guy anyway?" Harry asked when they were out in the corridor.

"Gerard Finnacky. Don't worry about him, he's a bit of a push over. Just a bit of hot air." Draco replied quietly as they ascended the stairs.

"It's a bit insulting that they didn't have more Prefects, taking into account we are a year older than them."

"I'm not overly bothered by it. He can have the damn role all he likes because then we couldn't do stuff like this and I prefer getting my own way than having to follow others rules." Harry laughed at this and nodded.

"Oh, how I know the feeling."

After dodging Mrs. Norris and nearly getting caught by Sir. Nicholas on the ground floor, they made it to the green houses and slipped under the cloak. There was a low murmur from the Mandrakes as they slept but neither Slytherin wanted to disturb them so it had to be a quick dash in to grab them. The young plants were surrounding them at the entrance but they needed fully grown Mandrakes for this exercise and therefore needed to walk well into the greenhouse to find them.

"What do you suppose will happen when we take one?" Draco whispered, spying the ear muffs they walked past.

"No idea, let's hope they don't start screaming at us."

"Well… shouldn't we use some protection then?" The blonde slipped his hands out from under the cloak and swiped two pairs for them both.

"Best to be safe than sorry." The Ex-Gryffindor shrugged, seeing the older looking plants up by the teacher's post, "Here, these are the ones."

Draco pulled a face before slipping on his ear muffs, Harry doing the same as they shared an anxious look. He decided it was best to get it over and done with and reaching out snapped one of the leaves off the stem. Waiting for a moment, nothing seemed to happen so he took a second, his hand starting to shake. It was then that they heard a strangled and slightly muffled sound from the plant before it wriggled in its pot and let out a scream.

"That's our cue." Draco jumped, put his hands over both ears and going to pull Harry by the arm.

For whatever reason at the time, he picked a third from the plant beside it and pocketed all three leaves as he stumbled under the cloak keeping up with his house mate. By the time they reached the door, most of the Mandrakes had started screaming and the youngsters were waking up also. Running at full speed, they both sped out of the door and away from the greenhouse, hoping that the further they got away the less obvious it would have been that they caused the disturbance. Luckily, when they reached the main courtyard, it was only a soft murmur in the distance and they stopped for a moment to gather their breath.

"At least we didn't pass out." Draco breathed, taking off the ear muffs.

"Only problem now is getting these back without being suspicious."

Wandering back to the common room, they slid out from under the cloak and went inside. Avoiding the curious looks from across the room from a few select individuals, they set themselves up on Harry's bed with the leaves on the top covers. Harry felt his anxiety heighten as he looked upon the greenery, was he really about to do this? Anything could happen to them both and with his close interactions with their Head of house, he would need to be extra careful.

"We're really doing this?" Draco picked up a leaf and inspected it, "Why did you get three?"

That was a good question, at the time he had just gone and done it but now the question had been asked which demanded an answer. Subconsciously, Harry thought that Hermione might like to join them, she too had said in the previous term that she found the classes boring. She might enjoy extending herself like this… But then again she always badgered them about doing things properly and would most likely take her time in exploring everything that could go wrong.

"I'm not sure… I guess I've been so used to having three of us that it seemed natural to do so." Harry shrugged and sprawled out over his bed so he could reach under his bed.

"Three…" Draco said, as if he were testing the word.

Harry glanced up over his shoulder to see the blonde thinking and he smirked as he felt the book and dragged it up. Draco, for all that he was the proud Slytherin Prince of Hogwarts, was terrible when it came to the softer side of emotions. He wasn't blind, it was clear Draco had warmed to Hermione but there was that little problem of their Ravenclaw friend having a boyfriend, even though he was a bit of an asshole these days. Or perhaps he always had been and it wasn't until now that he'd realised. The second problem that Draco seemed reluctant to talk about was Victoria Wilbert.

No, that wasn't fair. Ron had been a fierce friend over the years and he couldn't count on his hands how many times he had stuck up for him even when the whole world hated Harry _Plotter_ – not his favourite nickname but the easiest to remember. His stubborn red headed friend had understood what it was like living on the bones of his ass and feeling like a worthless tool in society. That had been their connection for the best of their schooling and it frustrated Harry that he could have changed so drastically over a few months. Perhaps he was having his own issues and the easiest thing to do was to take it out on those closest.

"Hermione would probably be the best person to do this with. Not that I'm shunning the great work we've _both_ done to research it but I'm sure she would come up with something we over looked.

"You want Granger to be a part of this?"

"Oh, well if you're feeling territorial over it then by all means we'll just do it ourselves." The brunette smirked and watched a light blush dusting Draco's cheeks.

" _Territorial?_ Please, Potter. As if."

"Let's think on it tonight and approach it again tomorrow."

"I thought you said we needed fresh leaves?" Draco sniffed, sliding off the bed.

"Did I? Huh, must have misheard me." Harry retorted, hiding a smile as he placed the leaves between the pages of his book.

Draco whispered something insulting about Harry's intelligence as he made his way to his own bed but he ignored it in favour of reading over the next chapter in the book he was holding. He hoped Hermione wouldn't be too angry with them if he mentioned it to her, she was forever going on about breaking school rules. Then again, they had shattered them completely over the years so odds were she was a lot more relaxed about it now.

 **. . .**


	29. Chapter 29

**.**

 _ **I'm on a roll at the moment, hope you're enjoying the quick updates.**_

 _ **. . .**_

Harry and Draco sat huddled together at over dinner, they both clutched a leaf each and the newest Slytherin had his book open on the correct page so he could read the process one more time. They hadn't approached Hermione yet, which was mainly Draco's doing and the brunette suspected it was because Draco wanted this to just be between the two of them. He couldn't say that he blamed his friend because he didn't know the Ravenclaw like he did.

"So… we just put it in our mouth and then try not to swallow it for thirty one days and nights." Draco bit his lip as he spied the leaves on Harry's plate.

"How hard could it be?"

"Not like we could swallow it in our sleep. Does it cover that in the book?" The blonde remarked sarcastically.

"It didn't, but I think I read somewhere else that you just have to start the process again." Harry recalled, his back turned to the head table.

"Another reason why not many people master it." This time Draco picked his leaf up and quickly glanced around the room to make sure no one was watching too closely.

Harry saw this and glanced over his shoulder towards the staff, he didn't want to be busted and their actions weren't exactly subtle. He was so screwed for his meeting with Professor Snape tomorrow, especially if the hallucinations began right away. Taking his own leaf, he nodded to Draco and tucked it to the side of his cheek, wincing at the taste of bitterness, his face distorted to further prove he had eaten better things in his life.

"Just do it." Harry growled, his body shuddering at the taste.

Draco went through the same myriad of reactions before they both sat facing their empty plates, wishing there was a less invasive way to this transformation. Closing the book and placing it between them, Harry took in a deep breath and ran his tongue over the distasteful leaf in his mouth. All they had to do now was get through the unexplored effects of this exercise, meditate and then hopefully transform.

Unfortunately, they weren't aware of the curious sets of eyes watching their odd actions at dinner. One looking on with curiosity and the other knowing that nothing positive could ever come from plotting. However, the two teens were not approached on this evening and instead were left to wonder what would happen.

 **. . .**

Harry wandered towards the edge of the forest that next morning, he was earlier than he should have been because he wanted to use that time to think things through and evaluate the situation before he let the man take him too far. He was worried that people could see him and didn't want to take the attention of others, not when it was a highly personal and delicate matter he was tending to.

Thankfully he was alone when he arrived at a large flat rock that he'd been to before and he took a seat, flopping backwards onto his back so he was only able to see the tips of the trees. The forest was a place he had never really found solace and he started thinking back to his second year with Ron and meeting Aragog, then there was almost losing Sirius to the Dementors in his third year. He laughed when he remembered Hagrid taking him to see the dragons in his fourth year, the bloody Hungarian Horntail had almost singed his eyebrows off that night. He briefly wondered what happened to Hagrid's brother after the war and if he was happily frolicking somewhere other than these haunted woods.

Then… there was the main reason why he was here. Voldemort. Death. Like he had thought prior, nothing ever good happened in this forest so why should it change? Professor Snape didn't have to do this with him, he wouldn't go into forests when he was gone from Hogwarts so why bother dealing with it all now? Taking a deep breath and sighing rather loudly, he turned his head sideways so he could look up towards the castle and noticed a black form walking towards him.

"I was not expecting to see you so promptly, Potter. You had given me the impression that this was something you would rather not do." Severus came and stood next to the rock his student was splayed out upon and raised an eyebrow.

"I guess you could say I am committed to getting better, sir." Harry replied, hoisting himself into a sitting position and crossing his legs at the ankles, body propped up by his arms.

"Which is pleasing to hear. Tell us, where we should begin."

"Huh?" Harry frowned and let his tongue run over the leaf that was tucked on the side of his cheek.

"This is for you, so tell me what you wish to do." Severus tilted his head, then looked off into the distance, his gaze going into the forest.

Harry thought for a moment, he too, looking into the forest but was distracted for a moment when he heard laughter coming down the hill and some younger students goofing about by the bridge. Not wanting to cause a scene in front of anyone, Harry stood suddenly, balling his fists and taking a determined breath.

"Right, let's get it over with then." He announced, jumping off the rock and walking straight towards the trees.

Severus watched with widened eyes as his student stormed forward and disappeared into the trees, his view partially covered by some shrubs he had walked behind. Realising what was happening he too walked forward and when he entered the trees his Slytherin was standing stock still, staring ahead. Wincing, Severus went and stood in front of him, he was pale and physically shaken by the presence of the woodland which both amused and worried the Slytherin Head of House. Stubborn Gryffindor bravery.

"Whilst I commend you on the foolhardy actions, perhaps this was not the best approach." The older Wizard offered but his student shook his head, it seemed as though he looked to be having breathing issues.

"Harry, please, one step at a time."

"No! I'm here now, let's go." Blinking Severus was pulled forward when the teen gripped his forearm and they trudged ahead.

If someone had been looking down on this situation, or observing from afar, they would have seen a confident young man walking through the forest. However, Severus knew better and he knew Harry would have checked out of the situation much like he had done so at Malfoy manor. This was going to get them nowhere but trouble so he pulled his arm back and stopped his student from progressing any further. He was aware that he could no longer see the rock the teen had been laying upon when he arrived, therefore not able to see their entry point.

"Stop, Harry. Look how far you've come." Severus motioned to the entry and it seemed realisation dawned at that moment, whatever mood he had been in was snapped away and he was left with reality.

"I-I – "

"Deep breaths. Tell me what you are feeling." Severus put a hand on his shoulder but did not get to see his green eyes tearing up as his Slytherin glanced away.

The voices in Harry's head, the ones he'd heard so often and caused him pain were returning. His mother mainly, she always told him how brave he had been, how strong he was – but she was gone and there was nothing he could do to bring her back. Voldemort's blood curdling venom always came after that, as if he were whispering into his ear, letting his sick fantasies known. A violent shudder went through his body at the vision of himself being tied up, levitated into the air by the filthy black ropes transfigured out of the Dark Lords robes. It made him want to vomit, put on display like he was, for all the Death Eaters around to see.

Severus was too late to catch his Slytherin as he crumpled to the forest floor, his knees digging into the moist fauna. He could see the tears now; his student was in immense pain but there wasn't a lot he could do but to comfort him later when they went back to his rooms. The teen was staring straight ahead, his breathing ragged but there was no way he knew there was someone standing with him, he was so far into his own mind. Severus figured this was something he should let continue, hoping that by working things through in his mind would help afterwards.

Harry could almost feel those cold, dead hands wrapping around his throat as the deranged man threatened his being, taunting him with the imminent death he was to endure. He felt trapped, not only physically but within his own mind. All he could see were trees blurring and his vision distorting, the bushes were swaying and moving in time with the blurring of his sight. It frightened him and the pressure around his chest and neck were growing; it got to the point where he felt suffocated and subconsiously brought his hands up around his neck, clawing at it.

Severus crouched in front of him but the gaze went straight through his body. This was a different response than he would have thought, he presumed that he would be holding back a scared Harry Potter, that he would be screaming and wanting to get out. This was the opposite, he seemed to be internalising it all; all but the claw marks against the reddening neck.

"Harry?" He caught the teen's wrists and pulled them away.

"I saw them you know, standing through there." Harry pointed past them both and into the distance.

"Saw who?"

"My mother… father… Sirius and Remus. They were there."

Severus remembered this, Harry had been so confused as to why _he_ wasn't there with them. He huffed, could he have imagined what that reunion would have been like? That bloody mutt goading him even in the afterlife, it was barbaric. Seeing Lily would have been a low blow, he hadn't seen her since they left school and knew she wouldn't have changed since then. What would he have done seeing her again, even if she were only a figment of ones imagination.

"I recall you mentioning this before. Are they the ones that speak to you?"

"Only mother… and that scummy, filthy, perverted asshole that killed me. Teasing me, mocking my abilities…" The sniff roused Severus from his anguished thoughts and decided it was time for them to go.

Pulling the teen up, he wrapped his arms around his waist and held the slim body close. He promised Harry to free his mind, well he wasn't doing the best job at it right now was he? No, they had to leave, get to a safe place and then talk about what had happened. Pulling on his student, he dropped down when he moved but Harry didn't, falling to his knees again instead.

"Snap out of it, Potter. We are done for now, let us get you back to the castle."

"Don't leave me!" Harry shouted, his voice echoing through the forest.

The force of such an outburst took Severus by surprise and he dropped the hold he had on Harry's arm. He certainly wasn't going to leave him, especially not in the middle of the damn forest.

"Bloody hell, Potter. Get your sorry behind up and moving. I will not be letting you go off alone, now come along."

It seemed to snap the teen out of whatever stupor he was in and gripping his wrist tightly he pulled them both free from the forest. Harry was shaking rather violently by this point and even the sun shining down on them was unable to get a grip on taking away the thoughts. As they approached the castle, there were a few people wandering about so he took his arm back and saw to it that his student could walk without aid, to which he seemed to be okay with.

He ushered Harry towards the couch once they made it to the dungeons, he was suspiciously quiet so started acting on some damage control. Getting the teen to sit at one end, he walked into his bedroom to get a thick blanket and managed to wrap it around his student before taking the seat next to him. If Harry didn't want to be alone, then he wouldn't let him be.

"Sir, I – "

"No talking, not yet. Let it sink in and process, then we can discuss." Severus kept his voice soft and low.

Harry nodded slowly, feeling out of character and disorientated. He leaned into the man sitting next to him, he felt that he could because he had seated himself so closely, if he hadn't wanted that closeness then they would be at opposite ends of the couch. He soon found an arm draping around him which caused him more comfort that he wanted to continue, so, feeling brave he half turned and swung his legs up so they sat across the man's lap. Resting his head against his Professor's shoulder, he immediately felt calm and closed his eyes as he took in the familiar scent and presence.

Severus sat still for the most part, then adjusted the blanket to cover his student better. He knew he should have said something about this, made a move to correct their position but once he knew the teen was comfortable, he thought it would be futile to move. The body laying across him relaxed, muscles softening and enjoying the position they were in. This was a bizarre situation he was finding himself in, Harry was growing incredibly close, quite possibly closer than they should be getting. Through this process, Severus was thinking about his own emotions to it all and realised he wasn't so averse to what was occurring… whatever it was that happened to be occurring.

"I want them to stop talking to me." Harry had his head half buried against Severus's shoulder.

"Do they get worse at a particular point?" Severus asked, not at all surprised that the ghosts and memories haunted him.

"The forest… Sometimes when I'm alone, like when I shower. They've been okay for a little bit… But… What can I do for them to stop?"

"So, they appear when you are vulnerable. Do you think there are unresolved issues?"

"Of course, my mother is dead." Harry's voice grew a sulky tone, something that set Severus's teeth on edge, "Probably it got worse when I saw her the night he killed me."

"Just out of curiosity, what ever happened to the stone? Do you still have it in your possession?" Severus wanted to destroy it if it still did exist.

"I dropped it in the forest. I might be able to find it if I looked hard enough but – " Harry huffed darkly, " – As you can see, that will be an issue."

"I think we should find it, their presence is causing you pain. That resurrection stone should never have been created. That's what made the Deathly Hallows tale so dangerous, usually old wives tales are supposed to reflect some life lessons."

"That's why I snapped the Elder Wand." Harry tightened the blanket around his shoulders, but it was more out of comfort than to keep the chill at bay.

"We will keep that away from Albus, shall we? I do not think he will be overly impressed by that news." Severus's lips curled into somewhat of a smile and it was at that moment Harry decided to lift his head and saw it.

"Call it karma, then." Harry smiled back in response before repositioning his head to where it had been.

Severus knew there should be a reprimand in there somewhere for the comment about the late Headmaster but he couldn't bring himself to say it when he knew it was the truth.

They went silent for a little while after this, Harry swallowing the gathered saliva in his mouth and wincing at the awful taste of the leaf now tucked under his tongue. He was now fully aware that he had to be conscious of swallowing the damn thing. It was temporary reprieve from his emotions that had him sitting across his Professor like a little child. He didn't ever want to move from this position, he felt so safe here, he didn't need to worry about the dead trying to speak with him or memories cropping up. He felt neutral in the arms of his Professor, but that wasn't normal was it?

"If I may ask, Harry. You mentioned something back in the forest about the Dark Lord, I would like clarification, if you are able."

"I can't remember." Harry replied sheepishly and Severus took a moment, breathing deeply in preparation.

"I believe you called him a filthy, perverted asshole."

Harry couldn't help it, a small bubble of laughter caught in his throat at his Professor using some form of profanity.

"I amuse you?"

"Sorry, sir. I'm not used to you using such… language." Sitting up a little better, they were now able to look each other in the eye as Harry thought about how to answer.

"You-Know-Who was a great punisher, a true sadist… I witnessed many meetings that would attest to that idea." Continuing, the brunette looked hesitantly at his Professor, wondering if he should broach the subject of meeting attendance but continued without it for now.

"I'm not sure what you've heard from Professor Dumbledore but he seemed to enjoy restraining me at any possible moment, it was like he was afraid I would actually manage to attack him."

"He restrained you?"

"I see the Headmaster was null on that then. In my fourth year, when Professor Moody wasn't really Moody and I was port-keyed to that graveyard, it was the first time… He uh, he tied me to his father's grave stone. Then went parading about as if he finally caught his prize; it was rather disgusting. He kept repeating, _I have finally got you – you cannot escape me now_." Harry shuddered, "Then he touched me."

Severus felt the shudder and then his blood went cold, it wasn't something he thought he'd ever have to hear from any student but to hear it from Harry, seemed worse.

"He touched you?"

"Oh, no – no , no, no! Not like that. On my scar." Clarifying what he'd said, then another snort of laughter erupted from Harry, "That psychopath didn't even have a nose, I doubt he had a Jimmy."

Whatever possessed Harry to say what he had, he did _not_ regret it because in the next breath he was experiencing a Severus Snape laugh. It was a deep chuckle, a pull at his lips and a shine to his onyx eyes. This was a true treat, he had _never_ seen the man in such a light before and he knew that if he could do anything, anything at all, it would be to get the man to laugh. It suited him so well and took away all the bitterness he glorified when outside his private room.

"Any thought of the Dark Lord makes ones mood sour, however the mention of whether or not he had genitals is not something one should ever bare witness to."

"Sorry, sir." Harry scrunched up his nose, still smiling, "I didn't think before I spoke."

"Let us carry on then, it is good for you to speak about these. Did Dr. Fletcher ever get this deep into what happened?"

"No, it never seemed right. I mean, it's not something I would talk about in everyday conversation… Well, we sort of are, aren't we? But it's different with you. He always took the wrong idea anyway. I would say something but out of a situation he would pick one thing he thought important that wasn't really that special or an issue. You, on the other hand – and please don't kick me out for saying this – but you knew the Dark Lord _and_ Professor Dumbledore, so you understand the balance on that tight rope and knew the mechanics of the war. I said to him one day that when I looked in the reflection, I was reminded of the green flash before I died; he then kept badgering on about how I would experience post traumatic episodes whenever I saw the colour green. It stuck in my mind for a good while and when I came back to school I started to believe that I truly was afraid of it."

"Hearing you say otherwise makes me question his qualifications." Severus sniffed, pulling a pained expression before placing his hand on Harry's knee, mostly out of comfort in the position he was sitting in.

"The day I attacked him, the first time before coming back to school, was an accident. He kept pushing and pushing me towards trying to believe something that wasn't true; said that he wanted to know what had gotten so under my skin that I continued to block out."

"May I ask what that was?" The older Wizard was curious, neither Fletcher or Harry had ever mentioned what it was but it seemed important.

"… After the war, I blocked everything out. I refused to read the papers or listen to the radio; the Burrow was good for that and allowed me to hide away in my bedroom. I didn't know what was happening or what had happened; I even made the Weasely family, plus Hermione, promise that they wouldn't mention anything about what was going on to me. I guess I wasn't ready to deal with it… Then Hermione took me to see Dr. Fletcher and he began telling me some things."

Harry paused and swallowed another sickly round of Mandrake leaf, watching his Professor observing him closely.

"But as the months went on, everything was just repeating. I heard Hogwarts was back up and running, which was fine and I heard Professor McGonagall was appointed Headmistress..."

"Who did you _really_ want to hear about?" Severus gave his student a knowing look and received a tight smile back.

"I think that obvious, sir." Harry replied, looking down, "Of course, he overheard me talking to Hermione in the reception area one day about you and questioned me about it in the next session but that wasn't something I wanted to approach yet. I didn't know if you were alive or in a coma, you could have been left paralysed for all I knew and unable to speak. I felt like we had so much more to say and do… I was scared."

"I am right here, you know this."

"And I am so grateful. Who knows what kind of ditch I would be in now if it weren't for you. Even now, I feel so much better even though an hour ago I was a mess – ugh, my trousers must be so dirty." He went to move the blanket only to find his Professor's hand on his knee, so he stopped his movements.

He then sat up a little more, both hands were in his lap as he continued to lay across his Head of House. Not sure when the man's hand had appeared there, he had a sudden desire to reach out and touch it, so he did. He pulled it towards him and looked at it as if Professor Snape's hand was the most interesting body part he'd encountered. It didn't register that he shouldn't be doing it, or that it was inappropriate, just that he wanted to run his fingers along his knuckles, mapping it out. There was a thick vein and connected past his middle finger, it was raised and for some strange reason, he found it intriguing.

"Anyway… what were we talking about?" Harry didn't know how they managed to get on such a tangent but he'd forgotten how they'd gotten there.

"We were discussing about going upstairs to get some lunch."

"We were not." Harry frowned but smiled at the man's blatant attempt to change the subject.

"Do not fool yourself with the illusion that we are finished, oh no, we are far from done on these topics, Harry."

"I didn't think we were… but could we save it for another day now?"

"Yes, I think we could do that. We will stick with a midweek catch up and if required, I can make myself available in the weekends."

"Does that mean I can't come back here after lunch?"

"Indeed it does." Severus didn't particularly want to let him go but he knew it was the correct thing.

"Oh… Okay."

"I am sure there is homework for you to complete."

"There's _always_ homework." The teen groaned, lifting his legs and swinging them back to the floor, "But that doesn't mean it has to be done in the common room or library. I think you'll find I can be very quiet when I need to be."

"Your attempts of staying in my presence are futile." Severus stood, a small smile on his lips as he attempted to get the teen out of his room.

"What if I need help with Defence?"

"You had the highest score for examations in my class, you should be teaching it instead." Severus dead panned him and pointed to the door.

"Potions then?" Harry refused to let the blanket go from around his body.

"Last I checked, Professor Slughorn took that particular class."

" _Futile, huh?_ " Harry muttered, finally let the blanket go and folding it up.

There was a lightness in the air that Harry was enjoying. He had just experienced a rather exhausting exercise but now he didn't feel so bad about it. It was a shame he had to leave, he could have done with a nap on the mans couch for the afternoon but as he was ushered towards the door he realised that it was going to be the night that would cause him the most trouble. His hesitance was noted by his Head of House and the man stopped him before they left the room.

"I do not open my door to just anyone, Harry. You have had a tough morning and I expect that to be mirrored in your sleep this evening. I would like to hope that you use discretion and your common sense before running to seek me out this evening if that is what you so require."

Harry nodded, then looked at the door they were standing in front of. He didn't want to leave, it was a safe bubble within these walls and could happily stay there for the remainder of the evening. Alas, he knew he had to leave. Draco was probably wondering where he was and he needed to check the teen was okay, Merlin forbid he had started having hallucinations already. The taste of this Mandrake leaf was truly disgusting, but the only person he could talk to about it was probably sitting upstairs.

"Till next time then." Harry offered and his Professor nodded, going their separate ways.

 _ **. . .**_

 _ **Do you feel like there's too many tender moments between Harry and Severus?**_


	30. Chapter 30

**.**

 _ **Okay, so yes to the tender moments. Thanks for the feedback!**_

 **. . .**

"Nothing has happened yet; do you think we're doing it right?" Draco asked, pushing himself up on his bed.

"It's only been a couple of days, I think we need to give it time. This month is going to go so slowly… Are you still getting the bitterness with each swallow?"

"Hmm, it's pretty nasty. The taste of pumpkin juice doesn't even wash it out."

"I think we should start the meditation process. Perhaps it'll speed things up a little."

"But what are we supposed to be meditating about?"

"Well, it's not thinking about things, meditation is the process of clearing your mind and opening yourself up. A lot of people who are master Legillimens casters have amazing meditation skills." Harry rattled off the exert he read from a book a few weeks ago and had wondered if Professor Snape could offer anything with meditation, he was very good at Legillimency and Occlumency after all.

"All right then, seeing as we have nothing better to do. How about we go upstairs after lunch and we can start?"

"Sounds fine, not like we haven't finished all our homework." Harry replied, knowing full well he had never ever been this organised in his life with school work.

Perhaps it was because finally they were doing something he saw as useful, extending his knowledge and testing the skills he'd learnt over the years. He was feeling motivated to excel but there was always that tiny part of his brain that said, _if they could do it so can I_ , when he thought about his father and the marauders.

The moment they stepped foot into the Great Hall, Harry's eyes immediately found his Professor sitting next to the Headmistress. The day prior had been a rollercoaster, but overall he was amazed at how they had ended things. Just his presence was enough to calm Harry and when they spoke or touched he genuinely felt like there was nothing in the world that could go wrong.

Harry supposed after all these years that letting someone else take the ropes and be the strong one was something he needed. Even when he was in first year, Hermione and Ron – whilst having his back – were always the ones to follow, he was always made to lead. Whether or not that was just the way their personalities fell within the three of them, it was nice to have someone take that control for him. Better yet was when Professor Snape fought the battles, speaking when he had no voice and wasn't present. That in itself was enough for Harry to completely trust this man and everything he had to say.

He hadn't had the dreams or nightmares he'd thought he would experience that night, he didn't dream at all but when he woke there was definitely an element of exhaustion. It wasn't enough for him to want to stay in bed, more of a mental exhaustion. He believed that through meditation he would be able to combat the more serious nightmares, calm himself rather than running off for help. Focussing on breathing rather than wild, untamed thoughts.

"You know what, I'm not even hungry anymore." Draco slid his plate across the table and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Yeah…" Harry was trying to navigate his way around chewing on a piece of ham he pulled from a sandwich and anchoring the leaf under his tongue.

"And to think… Four weeks of this."

"It will be so worth it though, think about that. If things are stressful or you just want to hide away in plain sight, being able to transform would be pretty neat."

"I know, I know." Draco grumbled, now leaning over and picking at Harry's sandwich too.

Severus was watching his two Slytherin's with interest. He had every belief that this had nothing to do with yesterday's activities, though upon the more trained eye he could see that his closer Slytherin looked ragged. He had woken up surprised to find he had not been interrupted during the night but considered that a positive reflection of their care session after venturing into the forest. Thinking back to that time, he was pleased to see Harry attempting to tackle it however a stubborn attitude wasn't going to get them far; he hadn't even intended on going within the trees anyway, just taking a step back to evaluate what could happen and was occurred in the past would have been sufficient.

"How is Harry progressing, Severus?" Minerva asked softly, leaning over gently.

"Narcissa failed to mention his presence at Malfoy Manor over the break, he and I worked some and continue to do so."

"Oh, I hadn't even realised Potter wasn't at Molly's this year. How odd, but pleasing that he is making friends." Minerva couldn't hide her surprise and Severus snorted.

"Even I am not blind to see the rift between your blasted golden trio." Severus goaded, wiping his mouth with the napkin.

"Well, I suppose distance was inevitable but I had no idea Potter was that close with Mr. Malfoy." She added, which made the Slytherin Head of House roll his eyes.

"If you would adjust your gaze to the Slytherin's direction, you may just find yourself surprised." He drawled, leaning back into his chair and waiting for the connection to be made.

Harry was propping his head up with a hand, turned towards Draco lazily; said blonde was slightly facing his brunette counterpart, still feeding himself scraps from the picked apart sandwich still in front of the newer Slytherin. Minerva hummed, pleasantly surprised at the turn of events and sat there with an otherwise ambivalent expression as she watched them both.

"It is still rather sad seeing the two of them like this, there should be something we could do to make them look as thought they would like to be here." She lamented, causing Severus to frown slightly.

"They are bored, not depressed. This curriculum the Ministry has us teaching the children of war is nothing short of insulting to their intelligence."

"I agree, though there is not much I can do about it."

Severus sat there for a moment and thought about his own class. The students seemed to excel when they rushed through content to move onto the more trickier aspects of Defensive magic, though he didn't dare tell the Headmistress he wasn't spending the allotted hours on said basic content. He hummed as an idea popped into his head, then looked out across the hall at the sullen expressions gracing them on a Sunday morning.

"Why not start the Duelling Club up once more? It seemed to work for the short time Goldilocks taught my position." Severus offered.

"Duelling Club? Won't you think the likes of Potter and his classmates will want nothing to do with it?" She was concerned that if they started focussing on duelling, it would trigger some of the older students.

"I will be seeing Potter through the week. I will mention it to him; he can then speak with the others and get their opinion. He would have a better understanding with the others than the likes of us."

"This is certainly an odd situation but I will not discard it. If it brings some life back into the eyes of each student then I cannot deny them that." She replied, standing and taking her leave.

Severus hadn't thought how it might impact Harry to duel again, he had seemed to revel in it when they had been working on shields back in the first term. He remembered thinking how it irritated him having to break he and Draco up because they were doing the content, but at their own level. Perhaps duelling might be fun for them, get some pent-up frustrations out of the lower years also. He would speak with Harry during the week, however for now he kept close watch, something not sitting right with him as he observed the teens acting strangely.

 **. . .**

Having tossed and turned all night, Harry woke feeling restless and irritable. His stomach growled and his mood soured drastically as he eyed the delicious looking spread in front of him. Draco wasn't far off his attitude either and scowled into his juice as he went to take a swig, pinning the leaf down under his tongue as to not swallow it by mistake. They were only a few days in to this, not even a week yet and it had hit them both hard that night. Draco said he'd had an odd dream and Harry thought he'd been walking aimlessly through the forest but he put that down to the fact he had been there over the weekend and his session with Professor Snape was at the end of the day.

"I – Just – Want – To – Eat!" Draco whined, fully prepared to swallow the Mandrake leaf and scoff down eggs and bacon.

"This was harder than I thought it would be." Harry complained, dropping his head to the table and feeling ill.

They sat like this for a while, until Draco's stomach protested audibly and he sat up straighter to try some eggs, letting it slid down his throat so he didn't have to chew. Harry watched on with longing, he wanted to eat so badly that his stomach was cramping with just a look in the blondes direction as he let the whites slide into his stomach.

"This isn't half bad actually." He said and side eyed Harry before pulling the whole tray towards them.

Harry sat up at this and speared the white part of the egg with his fork and pull some off. It felt slimy going down his throat but he knew his stomach would stop arguing in a matter of time when it started to digest.

"Heaven." He muttered, taking another piece.

Both of them were oblivious to the dubious glances they were receiving from across the hall until one of those pairs of eyes couldn't take the suspense of not knowing and stormed over. On her way, she was stopped suddenly by a strong pair of arms, watching her adoringly and whispering about heading to class. Huffing, she nodded and linked arms with a red headed Gryffindor, glancing over her shoulder as they left for class but resolved to find out their deal later on.

Care of Magical Creatures felt like torture in the rain that morning, both Slytherins were still feeling miserable and the rain was _not_ helping them one bit. Sitting amongst the wet grass, their uniforms not only soaked but filthy also, they attempted to listen though failed. Instead their focus was on the trees in the distance, both feeling something strange at the sight of the tall pines swaying in the light breeze up there.

Harry was the one to feel most strange about this, his fears only too well known for both of them for him to experience a euphoric buzz deep within his chest. It was gone however in a matter of seconds, but it had registered in his mind for that brief moment and instead of focussing on the lesson, thought more about himself instead.

Draco was moaning about his uniform the whole way back up the hill and when they walked inside, he left out a large sneeze, sniffling and wandering straight to the bathroom so he could blow his nose. Harry followed, for lack of a better idea, and let his hands run under the hot water in an attempt to warm them up. Sniffing himself, he wiped his nose on his sleeve and heard the tell-tale sounds of water pouring onto the concrete floor as Draco wrung out his Slytherin robe.

"This is ridiculous, are we not Wizards?" He muttered, pulling out his wand and pointing it over himself.

Harry smiled and was about to pull his own when there was a loud bang as the door was smashed open, then slammed with equal vigor. Dropping his wand in fright, he was about to scramble in an attempt to get it back when he saw an irritable Ravenclaw girl with damp curly hair standing there with arms crossed.

"Hello, Slytherin's." She said sweetly, using her silent magic to lock the door with an audible click and leaning back against the wood.

"H-Hermione, what are you doing?" Harry asked in surprise, bending down to get his wand now that a major threat was now extinguished.

"That's what I'd like to know. The two of you have been acting weird and you're _going_ to tell me what you're planning." She deadpanned them both but Harry was used to this kind of attitude and took it in his stride.

Draco however, bristled at the accusation but remained stone faced, giving a quick glance towards his housemate before he went to wash his hands. Hermione simply stared at her ex-Housemate coolly, folding her arms and waiting for an explanation. She would have been more concerned rather than curious if it had been either of the two Slytherin's that were acting strangely but because it was _both_ of them she knew they were up to something. Harry was far too easy to read in that regard, he had this look in his eye when there was plotting but this was different, she couldn't place what it was but a gut feeling told her she should look into it.

"How bored are you this year, Hermione?" Harry asked, remaining calm for the moment.

"Bored?"

"When you go to class each day, how excited are you? Does it thrill you that we learn the basics for what we already know and have experienced? Doesn't it frustrate you that the year below us is learning the exact same content. Admit it, Professor Snape's class is the only one that really gets any of us to pay attention."

"It certainly doesn't have the same spark as it used to." Hermione offered, but thinking about how she had to obliviate her parents, nothing really _did_ spark as it used to.

"Then how would you like to join us on an adventure?"

"What are you doing?" Draco hissed, pushing his shoulder.

"Look, I said this once before that we should get her to join us. Don't think I haven't seen her looking into it over the years. I _know_ she'll be interested."

"What are you two doing? If it's breaking the rules, you know how I'll feel about it." The Ravenclaw commented, pushing off the door and walking towards the ex-Gryffindor.

"See? She won't be willing to go to Azkahban will she?" The blonde soured, huffing and folding his arms defensively.

"It was a rhetorical question, prat." The brunette Slytherin rolled his eyes and gave his best friend a sly smile.

"Whatever." Draco puffed as Hermione finally stood within a meter of them both.

"So? What are you doing? Is it what I think it is?" Suddenly she was excited.

"What do you think your spirit animal might be?" Harry was smiling too now but that only got brighter when Hermione started to beam.

"Get me a Mandrake leaf tonight; how far behind you am I?"

" _Hah?_ " Draco stood straight and defensively at her, "How did you know that's what we're doing?"

"I've only been dreaming about it since our first year when Professor McGonagall openly transformed in front of the entire class. Surely you remember? You were there." The girl laughed and leaned on Harry's shoulder as she retold the story.

"I remember…"

"Well, it's been in the back of my mind ever since and then with Sirius Black I started researching it more… How much research _did_ the two of you do?" She asked incredulously, aiming her wand lazily at her friend and drying off his robes.

"A fair bit, but probably not as much as you." Harry admitted, looking to Draco for confirmation and hesitantly he nodded also.

"Why don't we compare notes at lunch. Then tonight you and I can get that Mandrake leaf." She smiled and Harry agreed.

However just as they moved towards the door he groaned, tilting his head back towards the ceiling and grumbled.

"I just remembered I have to see Professor Snape this evening. You'll have to go with Draco."

"What? No way, I'm not getting caught." The blonde sniffed, walking past them and dismantling the Witches lock.

"Fine, Harry give me your cloak and I'll go by myself." She huffed, amusement shining in her eyes as she too exited the male toilets and flipped her hair back over her shoulder, leaving them both in the corridor.

Harry watched with a smile, it was good to see the two of them getting along after all they'd been through. He realised that anyone else looking upon this situation, they'd think nothing had changed but that wasn't the case at all. I reminded him of how Ron and Hermione used to bicker when the three of them were all together.

"It won't be that bad." Harry whispered, patting the blonde on his shoulder but knowing it was on deaf ears.

Defence wasn't all that interesting for any of the three students who were doing their own self learning. Harry was attempting to focus on the content but gave up after half the lesson when he felt disinterested and glanced at Draco. The blonde had stopped paying attention long ago and found his gaze watching Hermione Granger, the Ravenclaw Witch that sat across the room with a pig-headed boyfriend who stole glances at them both throughout the lesson. Hermione wasn't only not paying attention, she was instead working on something completely different and had a textbook open that had nothing to do with Defensive magic, writing notes down furiously.

Severus sighed in between his lectures, it was clear he hardly had anyone's attention and began questioning why he was teaching this class at all. It was clear his efforts to educate the already educated we to no avail so he stopped at the end of his sentence and folded his arms, looking at the bored faces in front of him. Some began to look up question the odd silence, others were not paying attention to realise and then there was a whispered sentence spoken to a classmate that had a couple of other students stifling a laugh.

Harry, who had taken a moment to glance at Hermione saw the whispering classmates and then turned his attention to the front of the room, finding his Professor staring right at him but with an odd expression. He quickly checked to see if Draco was watching and found the teen looking at him also.

"What?" He whispered but Draco frowned and shook his head.

"It is clear to me, that not one student in this class has bothered to take note of one word I have said, therefore, I am not going to waste any more of your precious time. All of you can get out." With one wild swoop, he let his cloak billow out behind him and made his way up the stairs to his office.

The door shut with an oddly soft click as the students all still sat there, looking among themselves and wondering what in Merlin's name had just happened. This silence was only broken by certain Gryffindors who shrugged and gwauffed at their good fortune and hustled from the room at lightning speed.

"What was the lesson about anyway? I can't remember?"

Harry looked up as Neville, looking a little flushed in the face, spoke to Luna who was holding his hand openly as they walked past him. The Slytherin had no idea what the answer to that question was either and went to look at Draco who shrugged also. He felt incredibly bad about the situation and a nasty emotion started to fill his gut as he thought forward to that evening when he would be gracing the man with his presence.

"Suddenly, I don't feel so great about going to see him tonight." He whispered and the blonde nodded.

"To be honest, it must be hard in his position. I don't particularly blame him for just giving up." He responded gingerly and they walked to the Great Hall together.

 **. . .**

Harry came out of the Slytherin common room holding his invisibility cloak and handed it to Hermione who took it gratefully. As discussed over lunch, she would join them in their quest to become a successful Animagi and between them they hoped to keep their secret hidden from the other students. Hermione had warned them that the hallucinations could happen at any time and therefore she urged the two Slytherin's to stay together; she knew that she had at least a week before hers would start so it benefitted her greatly to see them go through the changes first, that way she could prevent herself from getting into a sticky situation.

"Thanks, Harry. I hope Professor Snape doesn't take the lesson out on you… That would be pretty low of him considering he appears to have changed his ways."

"I'm so nervous! I think I'll just walk out if he does." Harry slouched and pulled a face as they walked in the direction of their Professor's quarters.

"Come and find me if you do, I'll be in the library. Draco said he'd meet me there once I've taken what I need."

"It tastes horrible, just so you know." It pained him to say it but it was true, only cemented by the action of swallowing his saliva and tasting it once more.

"I bet, especially if its hallucinogenic. Good luck, Harry; I'll see you later." She waved him off as they split and nervously Harry knocked on his Professor's door, taking a deep breath.

It opened slowly and Harry found it had been done so with magic as there was no one to greet him. Stepping cautiously inside, he saw the man sitting on the couch with a glass goblet in his hand as he seemed to stare off in front of him. Harry shut the door quietly and then cleared his throat as a way of announcing himself before walking over to where his Head of House was, slowly sitting at one end of the couch and chewing his lip.

"I do not bite, Potter." Severus said with little emotion, not evening moving to look in his Slytherin's direction.

"I know." He defended, getting comfortable on the couch at those words.

"You are afraid that I am upset about class earlier, yes?"

Harry frowned at the lack of real emotion behind the man's voice and that's what began to worry him the most. It was always those moments when Professor Snape was quiet and brooding that he was scariest. The screaming matches they had in the past only fuelled him on to bait the man but when he was quiet and in control, he was like another person. A shudder worked its way through Harry at that and he swallowed nervously, wincing at the foul taste as he did so.

"I'd prefer it if you weren't… But I can understand if you are." Harry admitted.

"You are not the entire class, stop putting that pressure on yourself. It makes you appear self-absorbed, and I do not believe you are that conceited." Severus commented, then pausing to take a sip from his goblet, "There is no sense making this a burden."

Harry's eyes moved from the man down to his own hands that were folded in his lap, fiddling with the hem of his jumper as he thought of a response to what the man had just said. It seemed as though he didn't blame him for what happened but there was guilt he felt at the admission that something definitely eating the man and he wanted to know what he could do to fix it. This Professor Snape was odd and out of character to him.

"Why _did_ you stop the lesson, sir?"

"I would rather not waste my time teaching pointless content to a bunch of students that could quite easily teach my class. Clearly, I am unable to hold the attention of senior students who know that my true allegiances are for good. My imposing manner just does not seem to cut it now."

"I still find you intimidating." Harry offered and finally the first bit of emotion broke through as an amused huff sounded through the mans' nose.

"Indeed, Harry. You know the true value of my presence."

 _Eh?_ Harry thought.

"So, are you still thinking about it? Can I do something to help?" Harry felt weak saying it out loud but he genuinely didn't like this despondant Professor.

"Help me, Potter?" At first, Severus scoffed at the possibility but immediately sat up a little straighter and cleared his throat when the conversation with the Headmistress came back into his mind.

"Actually, I would like to run something by you."

"You do?" Harry was very surprised.

"If you remember back to your second year with Gilderoy Lockhart and the _duelling club_ he attempted to maintain… I had mentioned to the Headmistress about the idea of bringing it back."

"Oh… Okay, how do I fit into this then?" He was confused.

Severus shifted in his position and turned his body more politely towards his student, leaning against the arm rest and setting the goblet in his lap with both hands clasped around the stem. He hated having to go about it in this manner but he knew that there were students that could be affected by the establishment of the club once more. One student in particular, the one sitting next to him, was one of those students he was concerned about.

"I wondered if you thought it might be beneficial to the senior students."

 _Wait… is he asking me for help or permission?_ The Slytherin stayed silent and gazed on with a perplexed expression.

"I am aware that some students, including yourself, may find this more stressful than others."

 _Oh, so he thinks I'll freak out and go insane if he starts this back up? Well, what a way to build my confidence up, sir._

"It'll be fine." The younger Wizard said quickly, looking ahead into the roaring fire and letting his emotions build inside himself.

"Never easily concealing your true feelings, Harry." Severus commented with dry amusement, setting his goblet down on the side table and then shifting down the couch so he was closer to his student.

"It sounded like you were worried I'd blow up again."

"I certainly was not. I have seen you duelling with Draco in my class earlier in the year but was extending my concern to other students who do not get to have this type of conversation with me." He gestured to their proximity, then reached around and put his arm on Harry's shoulders.

"What? You want me to talk with the others then?"

"Harry, they will not give me their honest opinions if I were to ask myself. You were the one to take Dumbledore's Army, _you_ were the one to lead them through all this; they will give you an honest answer. Most have seen or heard about what happened earlier in the year but I will not have you tormented if this club starting up brings back trauma for you. Fighting valiantly in the war was one thing, being _forced_ to fight is another; and I will not be the one responsible for causing you pain."

Harry was a little taken back by the statement but realised that the man only wanted to make sure he was okay. So, what would it look like having the duelling club back up and running? He assumed that they weren't going to force the students to take part, that would go against what he had just said anyway.

"I know you are bored, it is clearly observed. You all are." There was a tinge of sadness in the man's tone and it made Harry turn his head and observe his expression which gave nothing away like usual.

"I'm guessing you've already spoken to Professor McGonagall about content then?"

"You assume correctly. Our hands are tied, however this could be good for the students."

"Then do it." Harry said, turning suddenly so their knees bumped together, "You're right, we are bored – " _And there are three of us taking matters into our own hands,_ " – So I think it would be good to get it back up and running."

"You are sure about this?" Severus was skeptical about the sudden approval.

"I'll ask a few people tomorrow, see what they think and let you know." He gave the man a short smile and received a nod in recognition.

"Now, moving on to other matters," Severus started, patting Harry's knee once, "How has the week been? Any nightmares you wish to speak of?"

"Not really, is that normal?" Harry frowned suddenly and stretched his legs out only to feel one being lifted and draped across his Professor's lap.

"What would you consider normal? Certainly the past would suggest that this be a positive sign. Have you done anything differently?"

Harry thought for a moment, bringing his other leg up so he could fully rest against the man. He was sinking into the side embrace and wanted to lap up every moment he could of it, he enjoyed the closeness immensely. Remembering the meditation throughout the week, he supposed that had something to do with it, being able to clear his mind – especially before bed – had most likely helped. Did he say that though? He hoped the older Wizard didn't ask him why he'd done it.

"Meditating? I think clearing my mind before bed each night has helped. Draco has even started doing it with me."

"That is pleasing to hear."

Harry had his head resting against the man's shoulder so he couldn't see his face and vice versa but there seemed to be a dulled tone in that voice. Almost like when someone smiles but it doesn't reach their eyes and it sounded off. He was going to find out why and went to raise his head when there was a knock at the door, giving him a fright and shifting himself so his feet were on the floor.

"Do not go anywhere." Severus said, whispering into the teen's ear.

He stood, hand anchored on the back of his couch just by Harry's head which made it easy for him to get close before he pushed away and walked stiffly to the door. He hoped it would be quick, whatever it was, so that he could get back to speaking with Harry, he was enjoying their night together until this moment.

"Argus." Severus gritted his teeth.

"Professa Snape, there be stud'nts out er bed in ther library."

 _Damn_ , he thought. Tonight he was not going to be lucky enough to speak more with his Slytherin.

"I will be there in a moment."

Harry looked over his shoulder with wide eyes; Hermione and Draco were supposedly in the library and they were about to get into trouble. He wondered if he could bargain with the man into letting it slide this one time. If anything was mentioned about the reason why they were there he could always say they were studying further in the curriculum, his Head of House couldn't fault them on that, right?"

"I apologise, Harry. Tonight has been cut short." Severus commented, stepping into his bedroom to gather his coat.

"What if I told you I knew who it was…?" Harry turned his body and rested both forearms on the back of the couch, his chin resting on them in turn.

With a deadpanned expression, Severus sighed before starting to pull on his coat and closed his eyes briefly before commenting.

"Why does this not surprise me."

"Would you stay and let them be if you knew?" He was skating on thin ice, he knew that, but it could potentially be worth it.

"Potter, your friends are out of their common room area after curfew. Even _you_ are not above that rule."

"And yet here I sit?" Harry bit his lip as soon as he said it, realising he might have just gotten himself thrown out.

"Such cheek." Severus continued to pull his coat on and walked over to where his student was almost pouting across the back of his couch, "Brat." He commented again lightly, this time running a hand through Harry's hair.

"Guess it's time to go, huh?"

"Correct, Potter. Five points to Slytherin for your observtions, now scoot."

"But what about – "

There was a thwack as Severus's palm connected lightly with the back of Harry's head when he managed to stand and walked towards the door.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"Being a nuissance, now get to bed before my good mood sours and your friends end up in detention."

Grumbling, the brunette did what he was told and nodded before bidding the man goodnight. He felt ripped off, he didn't get to spend nearly as much time as he thought he would tonight and it made him feel uneasy. Not wanting to get the man angry however, he walked straight down the corridor to the Slytherin common room and there he stayed.

Severus on the other hand made his way up the many stairs towards the library where he was expecting to find two students. One Ravenclaw and one Slytherin. Why those two? He huffed, it was obvious enough without explanation as he slid silently through the door and rounded a corner just in time to see the dimming of light and a soft thud. Shaking his head, he took his own wand and tip toed to the restricted area of the library where students _weren't_ allowed and heard shuffling of feet.

"Miss. Granger. Mr. Malfoy, reveal yourselves."

There was a soft gasp and more shuffling of feet as he luminated the area and saw the reminents of Harry's blasted invisibility cloak slide off the blonde Slytherin's shoulders, pooling at his feet. That cloak was going to be the death of him but he resisted in snatching it up for now and looked at the two students who were caught red handed in an area they should not be in at an hour most unacceptable. War survivors and senior students or not.

"Well, Mr. Malfoy it seems that your succession of new friendships has led you down a disobedient path. I am not sure whether I should be proud you have put animosity aside or frustrated that you are now breaking the rules."

"Sir, I – "

"I do not need to hear it. You may thank the other friend of yours, Mr. Potter, for informing me of who was here tonight, however before you do I would exit swiftly to your respective common rooms and remain there for the evening. He has saved you from detention and deducted points."

Hermione frowned, it wasn't like Harry to throw them under like that and wondered if she was missing something. Not one to dwell on it in the middle of a pitch black library, she nodded and apologised but at the unamused huff she received, they both knew she was only sorry for being caught. She caught _herself_ smiling at that, aware that he was not yelling at them or seeming even remotely angry at their presence and went to walk away.

Draco picked up the cloak and was about to walk past his Head of House when the man's arm stopped him and motioned for the cloak. Begrudgingly handing it over, he wore an expression akin to a puppy who had just been kicked as he too walked away and hopefully back to the common room. Severus wasn't going to deduct points tonight, he considered that Harry's doing as he had made the teen leave him for the evening.

Folding the cloak neatly over his arm, he noted a text book on the floor that was well out of place under the table. With wand in one hand, he knelt down and picked the text up with the intention of placing it back in the correct place. He knew Madame Pince would not react kindly to having her space ramsacked in the night, by student or staff. His eyes widened; the title read – _Animagi: Becoming one with the Spirit_. Putting the pieces together, the odd behaviour and the even curiouser reaction to his Slytherin this evening, he wagered that the three students were embarking on a dangerous course of discovery.

Turning back to look at the front door, he had some decisions to make.

 _ **. . .**_

 _ **Oops...**_


	31. Chapter 31

_**.**_

 **#OliverDemitri:**

 _ **Oh my goodness! Please drink something :3 I am so happy that you're enjoying this story. It is always my aim to make this seem as real life as possible, something that can be hard when there's magic involved.**_

 **#Michaela-uzumaki:**

 _ **I've been thinking very long and hard about their spirit animals… I think I've got them figured out but I don't want to sound too clichéd with them. Thanks for the comments and I hope you enjoy this chapter also :D**_

 **#i-am-siriusly-sherlocked:**

 _ **Okay, now your comment was literally the best I've read! A slow burn? Damn, darling you have no idea what I'm capable of! ONYX, did you see that comment? Actually, the two of you remind me of fangirls, with rivers streaming down your cheeks. It's adorable!**_

 _ **Anyway, back to your questions. There will be a few more chapters before anything happens. It actually wasn't my intention to make the story a smutty Snarry because I didn't want to detract from the issues. HOWEVER, now that I am writing… I think I have to concede that there is going to be a focus on their relationship going forward. It is definitely going to happen, just… not yet. I still have drama to pack into the story before that happens.**_

 _ **Your second question… I think that may be answered in this chapter. Even Severus is human, these reactions were bound to happen, right?**_

 **#delia cerrano:**

 _ **Hehe, that would be too easy. Besides, he doesn't know how the process goes. If anything, it would be Minerva to help them… But again, that would seem too easy :D**_

 _ **. . .**_

 _ **I was so inspired by the comments that I couldn't wait any longer before uploading this chapter.**_

 _ **. . .**_

 _[… Panting was uneven as his legs carried him quickly. The wind brushing through his hair, the smell of the night cool and crisp. The moon shone brightly above him, only obstructed softly by the trees that stood high above. Sniffing the air, tasting it through his damp nose, it was sweet like nectar and called to him…]_

Draco sneered across the room, his blonde hair falling over his face as he eyeballed the sleeping form of his housemate. He couldn't believe the brunette had dobbed them both in, how rude was that? He thought they were friends but that's not what friends did; it wasn't the pact they had made with each other going into this strange process. The lack of a decent sleep and food was a known culprit for his testy attitude lately but that didn't excuse what had happened last night and when the newest Slytherin woke up, he would regret the day he ever selected Slytherin as his new home.

Hermione too woke feeling strange and swallowing around the leaf in her mouth she winced at the taste. It was a new morning however and she needed to get ready for the day. She couldn't wait to get her hands on Harry Potter, that toe-rag, telling Professor Snape that they were both there. Why had he done it? Surely Professor Snape hadn't forced it out of him, or had he put two and two together? She had to know.

By the time Harry woke from his sleep, he immediately had a pillow thrown in his face that had him flopping back down into bed and grumbling mercilessly at the assault. He wasn't in the mood for one of Draco's petulant spats but it seemed that this morning it was aimed at him rather than the world, something that he really could have done without after feeling anxious about the time he hadn't spent with their Head of House.

"I can't believe you told Professor Snape we were in the library! You're part of this too remember?"

"What?"

"Last night, you idiot! Professor Snape came storming into the library and caught Hermione and I but it was just convenient that he _knew it was us_!"

Harry ground his teeth and ripped the sheets of his bed, he had trusted his Professor with that knowledge and wasn't particularly happy that the man had thrown him under the bus with it. He grunted at Draco, showing his displeasure before going to shower; he wasn't going to entertain the blonde this early and wanted time to properly wake up.

" _This isn't over_." The brunette sighed as he heard the voice floating through the door but shook it off for now.

He was still reeling from the odd dream he'd had, nothing in the forest was ever a positive thing for him but there he was running through it like he was enjoying it. When he closed his eyes in the shower, he could feel the breeze on him and when he took a deep breath, the scent of pine assaulted his senses. It took him by surprise and he stumbled backwards into the shower stall wall, putting a hand on his chest and blinking. The last time he'd started to gain the scent of pine was earlier in the year when he was rather ill and not in the good space he was now. He took a moment for himself, breathing deeply and keeping his mind trained on the water, the steam and the noise to eradicate anything else that might crop into his mind.

He had an anxious feeling about what he'd experienced, no longer was the dream a positive reminder for him… It caused a knot to develop in his stomach and the foul taste he swallowed in the process of calming himself did nothing for his nerves. He needed to speak with Professor Snape; he wouldn't ignore this.

Luckily, once he'd done with his shower, Draco had left the common room all together and he made his way up at a leisurely pace until he was dragged towards the Ravenclaw table and forced to sit with Hermione pulling his arm down. In front of him was still the irate blonde Slytherin, glaring daggers in his direction but found comfort in Hermione's less angry one instead.

"I can explain." He started, putting his hands up in defence.

Severus watched the scene carefully, seeing how Harry's friends assaulted him the moment he walked in the door. Did he feel guilty for what he'd done? Not particularly, at least now he knew what the students were getting up to and it certainly explained their odd behaviour as of late. His favourite Slytherin seemed to take it all in his stride and soon enough all three heads were brought together as they presumably spoke quietly about the secret developments. Shaking his head and busying himself with the morning paper, he ignored the trio for now in favour of relaxing into his morning.

"Alright, I only said that to him last night so that you might be spared the lecture and detention. Filch was the one that came and told Professor Snape that there were people in the library so I thought that if I told him who it was that he wouldn't go off and be angry. I suppose it partly worked, he tried to tell me that the three of us weren't above the rules and that it was dangerous to be out after curfew."

Hermione snorted at that and shook her head, all anger gone and smiling at him with the loving expression he had been given so often when he knew he'd messed up. He was half forgiven in that aspect, Draco was the other half he needed to convince.

"I don't know if you're smart, Potter or just incredibly thick sometimes." He commented, pulling a sour face.

"I think he's both." Hermione continued to smile and brought them all closer so they could talk more privately.

"I guess the next question is if either of you have experienced the weird dreams or visions. You will start experiencing them in the next couple of days and we need a plan for how we deal with them. They could appear at any time, anywhere and be strong or weak. From what I read, they are usually triggered by something that you're doing, whether you're walking or looking at something. But they all have your spirit animal's nature in mind."

"I wouldn't say I've had any weird dreams." Draco said, shaking his head after she spoke, then looked to Harry.

"I don't think so, I mean I – "He stopped and thought about the dream he'd had last night.

"But what?" Hermione put her hand on his arm and shook it gently to rouse him.

"I wouldn't say it was anything, I'm still having dreams about the forest."

"There wasn't anything different about it that could mean you're starting?"

Harry shook his head, though at the back of his mind he wondered if he should have said it was, just to be safe. No, he would leave it for now and see what happens.

After this they all went silent, thinking about things in their own right and Harry risked a glance over his shoulder at his Head of House. The man was focussed solely on the paper in front of him but that didn't stop the brunette from blazing him with a dark expression before turning back in his seat.

 _Oh, that reminds me…_ Harry thought, addressing his friends once again.

"So, I had this interesting conversation with Professor Snape last night and – "

"Funny, I thought you were gossiping about us?" Draco snapped but both Hermione and Harry deadpanned him, then the Ravenclaw motioned for him to continue.

"Secretly, I think he was a bit wounded about us all goofing off yesterday in class. I asked him about it and he said that there isn't much more he can do for us, same for the Headmistress. They're sort of bound by the curriculum set by the Ministry."

"How does this help us exactly?" The Witch asked sceptically, wondering where he was going with the story.

"Well, he wondered if he should start the duelling club back up."

"Oh, really? That could be beneficial… I guess?" She responded rather strangely and the brunette frowned at her, "I mean the younger years will get a great deal out of it, but how does that help us stay focussed on classes?"

"I think he's just trying to motivate us to be honest."

"Then why hasn't he pulled this card out already? He kept breaking you and I up when we'd duel in class, now he's trying to encourage it?" It was Draco's turn to sound doubtful.

"He thinks it'll trigger people. A lot of students were forced to fight in the war, he doesn't want to dig up old wounds." The newest Slytherin explained.

"I think that's sensible." Hermione nodded, agreeing with their Defence Professor's thought process.

"Guess so. What else did he say?" The blonde was letting a fried egg slide down his throat as he spoke.

"I said I'd ask around, that's as far as we got because Filch interrupted."

"Hmm, why don't we ask some of the others and see what they think. I assume you'll be reporting back to him?" Hermione asked, but before Harry answered she frowned, "Why doesn't he just ask us himself?"

Harry huffed, "He thinks that we won't take him seriously and that we'll feel obligated to do it."

"Again, he's sensible in that regard." Hermione nodded again, deep in thought, "We'll ask the others later, let's get to class." She said, standing but wasn't able to take another step when she heard Ron's voice coming up behind her.

"'Mione, you going to wait for me?" He asked, his tone bristled as he looked at the Slytherin's.

"You're a big boy, Ron." She turned to her Slytherin counterparts but with a shared look between them they shook their heads and held back.

"Suit yourself." She huffed, shrugging.

They both waited until the Witch was out of the hall before moving themselves, they didn't particularly want to make a scene right now; not while they were feeling testy at the moment. There was a fight waiting to happen and Harry could feel the dark aura rolling off his blonde friend in buckets as they trailed behind the couple.

Potions class wasn't much better and the brunette had to elbow his friend at one point, whispering about how his face would stay like thunder the longer he scowled in their direction. Not only that but they were brewing a rather volatile potion that required extra special attention, none of which Draco was giving his potion as it bubbled away.

"Honestly, Draco. What in Merlin's name is wrong with you? Just focus or you'll end up with gunk all over your face." Harry huffed quietly and pulled the teens arm so he was fully facing his potion.

"I just don't get why she is giving him the time of day. He treats her like garbage and I don't understand why he doesn't like you anymore."

"Why do you care so much?" Harry frowned, chopping his next ingredient carefully.

"Because you're my friend, why else?"

"I actually wasn't referring to _me_." Harry stopped and looked at the next step, "Ever since I was in the Infirmary, you've been acting weird about her. Do you like Hermione or something?"

Draco hissed violently in Harry's direction, only confirming his suspicions but backing off immediately with a non-committed shrug before adding the next ingredient. After he had, he noticed that there was a gentle blush dusting the blonde cheeks and was trying hard not to look at the Ravenclaw across the room, failing miserably. Shaking his head with amusement, Harry focussed on what he was doing.

Draco however, had no idea what stage he was up to or what he should be doing. Harry's comment had blindsided him but he refused to acknowledge that there was a small chance he had been correct. It wasn't like he could act on it anyway; she had a boyfriend and she was a Muggleborn… No that wasn't right, he didn't care where she came from. They both had a magical core, both nurtured into the same world. He shook his head, the temper within rising gently, just like his potion was as it simmered in the cauldron.

 _Ugh, it's wrecked_ , he realised after taking a careful peek at what had become of his mixture. Glancing at Harry's he knew his marks would be doomed and slumped onto his stool, thrumming his fingers against the table top. His friend took pity and patted his shoulder, he too taking a look at what they could do to fix it.

"You know, I think if we – "

Harry didn't get to say the rest of his sentence as there was a loud bang and the contents up ended all over his uniform. Smoke billowed from his body and the cauldron, the smell wasn't that great either but he was more frustrated that he would now have to attempt at salvaging his own in this state.

Professor Slughorn was looking up in that moment and they made eye contact briefly. Seeing the other Slytherin student sitting there, Harry thought he could see the disappointment so thinking quickly, he tugged Draco's wrist and swapped places with them. He was nearly finished with his potion anyway, it was just needed a few more stirs.

"Wha – "

"Mr. Potter, is this your potion?" Horace asked hesitantly and Harry nodded.

"Sorry, sir. This is quite unusual for me… I'm not sure where I went wrong." He said quickly, showing Draco that he'd take the fall for it.

"Dear me, what a mess… Yes, well clean your station and then get yourself cleaned up. I suggest a shower, Potter otherwise you will develop a nasty rash from the ivy paste."

"Yes, sir." Harry nodded and wiped his face with a clean section of his robes, namely the green hood.

"Why did you do that?" The blonde leaned over, not too closely, as he frowned at his classmate.

"Consider it my retribution for last night."

 **. . .**

Severus sat miserably at the table whilst the Headmistress spoke to the four House heads about their activities or issues. This followed the brief encounter he'd had with Horace prior to taking his seat and was disappointed to hear that Harry and Draco had caused a commotion. He shook his head lightly at the time, lamenting dramatically at the Potion's Professor that the brunette would never improve if he was still blowing up cauldrons.

Of course, with the Headmistress being the nosy busybody she was, had heard the statement and given her two knuts worth about the situation. Severus could do nothing but shrug his shoulders, he and the teen knew the only reason why he was any good over the last full year in school but that would remain a secret to only them. Though, it did prove to Minerva that no matter who was teaching the discipline, Harry Potter would never actually be a master at it.

As he continued to sit through the rather irrelevant meeting with the other four staff, he did have an evil thought. _Evil? No, cunning thought_. He still had the night before to make up to the teen and he believed this could potentially benefit them both. _Oh yes,_ Severus smiled slyly to himself as he thought about approaching the Slytherin later that evening.

Meanwhile, Harry was sitting in the library with his two friends, fidgeting and rubbing his back along the back of his chair with discomfort. He didn't know what it was but ever since their last class he had this itch that wouldn't be satisfied by anything, it was to the point where Hermione grumbled at him to stop moving but he couldn't help it.

"Please, _please_ will you just scratch between my shoulder blades." He pleaded.

"This is your own fault, you know that right?" She mused, standing and rounding the table to stand behind him, placing her nails on his Slytherin jumper.

"You know I'm rubbish at Potions." He pouted, side-eying Draco at the same time.

"Yes, well that's what you get for cheating with Professor Snape's old school book." She used the position to attack his back viciously but it didn't have her desired effect as he moaned in extreme satisfaction.

Draco watched carefully, trying not to catch the attention of the Witch, he felt rather silly about how it all went about and wished he had just taken Harry's advice earlier that lesson and concentrated. He couldn't help himself, the red head raised his hackles and it wasn't just something that stemmed from their hatred for one another. He admitted he hadn't treated the Ravenclaw that well over the years but at least he recognised that he was an asshole, the Gryffindor just acted as though he was self-entitled when it came to her.

"Draco's seemed perfect, why don't you work closer next time so you don't mess it up. Are you going to pursue becoming an Auror? You'll need to ace Potion's if that's the case." She lectured but Draco wanted to shrink into his chair.

"Probably not to be honest, I feel so lost when it comes to the future." The newer Slytherin admitted.

Hermione stopped what she was doing immediately, much to his frustration, and took back her seat in front of him.

"Oh, well I guess our lives have been pretty shaken up…" She trailed off and continued with her work.

"You're disappointed, aren't you?" He asked solemnly.

"You know how I like to have everything planned out, I just figured that if you were going to be an Auror we'd still see each other at the Ministry." She shrugged and continued writing but Harry found the conversation odd and had completely forgotten that Draco was even there with them.

"Just, don't discredit Potion's yet." She finished, "Oh, and I was speaking to Neville and Luna just before about the duelling club and they offered something quite valuable."

"Oh?"

"Hmm, Neville was actually the one to bring it up. I think it's great how he's really blossomed this year, the war did quite a bit for his self-confidence. Anyway, he suggested that as seniors we could be the ones offering support for Professor Snape. I mean, one teacher taking on however many people want to join? I actually think that might have been what he was implying when he brought it up. There wouldn't be much point in teaching us duelling techniques when we already know how to but what if we supported him with it and taught the students."

"Bleurgh, that sounds like hard work." Draco muttered.

"Yeah, but Hermione has a point." Harry smiled and laughed, "He actually said to me that we could probably do a decent job at teaching his class anyway, so that isn't a bad idea." Harry added, Hermione giving him a knowing look.

"When do you next see him?"

"Not until next week, maybe I should hunt him down after classes tomorrow." Harry suggested, propping his head up on his palm.

"Might be sooner than you think." She nodded behind him and he twisted around to see their Defence Professor entering the library, seemingly searching for someone.

"He's probably busy." He turned back and tapped his quill against the open page he was supposed to be reading.

"Busy trying to find _you_." Draco had glanced over his shoulder and saw the relieved expression when the older Wizard looked in their direction.

" _Shit_." Harry said, tensing his shoulders as the cool aura cast a shadow above him.

"Mr. Potter." Harry sighed and glanced up at his Professor, "I need a word with you."

Nodding and clapping his book shut louder than intended, he stuffed the contents into his bag and begrudgingly stood to follow the man out. Hermione waved him off and shook her head with a wry amused expression and found the blonde Slytherin watching her oddly.

"Why are you smiling?" He asked, almost offended.

"Because I've seen that sight too often for it not to be comical now." She laughed, and went back to work, leaving Draco to think what she meant.

"Am I in trouble, sir?" Harry had a bad feeling about the development of this evening and it didn't help that he had an irritable back.

"Oh, I think you know why I asked to see you." Severus glanced slightly over his shoulder where the teen was lagging and noticed the look of discomfort.

Harry took a moment and thought the man was referring to the duelling club.

"About the club, sir? I didn't think you were expecting an answer so quickly." The younger Wizard frowned as they made for the Dungeons and quickening his pace to keep up as they descended the stairs.

"On the contrary, Potter. I was referring to your dismal performance with Potion's this morning."

"You _heard_ about that?" Harry wanted the cracks in stone to swallow him whole.

"Indeed, Professor Slughorn informed me before dinner. I am disappointed that your proficiency has waned."

Harry wanted to remind the man that it was under extra ordinary circumstances that his skills had improved briefly but didn't think that would go down quite so well at the given moment. Now that he thought though, why he pulled him from the library just to tell him this was confusing. He could have just brought it up after Defence or something.

"Sir, what are we doing?" They rounded the corner towards the man's private quarters as he asked this.

He received no response however and the door was held open for him to enter. He couldn't particularly complain at the prospect of spending time together but he would have rather known what they were doing than be kept in the dark about it all.

" _You_ , Harry, are going to remake that Potion." He commented, taking off his outer teaching robe and draped it along the back of the couch.

" _Remake_ the potion?"

"Shall we?" He pointed to the laboratory door that was ajar, Harry numbly walking through it and settling at one side of the table, pulling the strings on his bag so he could reach for his Potion's book.

"I will observe; you can find all the ingredients you will need over there in that cupboard." Severus indicated with his head towards the side of the room closest to where Harry was.

"Is this some kind of detention?" He mused, walking over to it with his book in hand.

Severus smiled, knowing full well the teen couldn't see his expression, "Not at all."

 _Okay… a punishment of some kind then? You haven't complained about my lacklustre capabilities much this year and I've boggled a few potions since I came back._ Harry processed the situation as he gathered the ingredients, wondering when he had become so tolerating of the man and dutiful when it came to doing things he asked.

"So, why am I really here?" Harry couldn't help it, he had to ask.

"Are you complaining about being able to spend time with me?" The question was out of Severus's mouth before he could stop it and was rewarded with the clattering of two jars as Harry's hand missed its target, causing them to crash together.

"Well, why didn't you just say you were extending our time from yesterday." The younger Wizard sulked, he didn't think it was that hard for the man to just summon him and tell as such.

Severus gave the teen a short look at this but refrained from commenting. Instead he settled himself opposite the Slytherin and watched as he expertly prepared the ingredients as the base started to simmer away. This was what he had been expecting to see and Horace had been correct to assume something had been strange with the incident; Harry was not as adept at Potion making as he and everyone else liked to assume.

"So, I talked to the others about your suggestion." Harry spoke after half an hour, only at a time where he could afford to divide his attention without the potion being affected.

"And?"

"Hermione made a good point, if you're open to hearing it." Harry shrugged, leaning against the table with his left hip, stirring rod loosely twirling between his fingers.

"Go on." Severus stopped what he was doing and folded his arms, after having pulled his stool free from under the work bench.

"Well, she mentioned that perhaps we'd benefit more from supporting _you_ , actually. I'm sure she doesn't mean that there isn't anything more you could teach us but that perhaps we could help teach the younger students duelling."

"Miss. Granger _might_ have a point…" Severus thought, bringing one hand up to brush his fingers across his lips.

"Neville was really the one to bring it up… She just relayed it." Harry amended, not really sure how the man would take a suggestion from the ex-Gryffindor.

There was no comment made after that statement, the younger Wizard wondered if he was now going to disregard what had been said as he sat there, eyes narrowed as if deep in thought. The silence brought Harry back to remember that his back was irritable and he fidgeted by rotating his shoulders and flexing the shoulder blades to get some kind of friction. Unfortunately, he couldn't dwell on this for much longer as the potion he was brewing required his attention and he finished it off in silence, still physically looking in discomfort.

Severus was thinking about what had been said, it hadn't been a bad suggestion for Longbottom. He had matured greatly over the past year and had proved himself well in all areas of his school work, so to have him as one of the senior students that potentially could support him, he didn't mind so much. Harry was still the one he was concerned about however, so he would put his thoughts forward to Minerva to see what she thought.

He was roused some time later when he heard the teen cleaning his station down and looked upon the perfectly brewed potion sitting in front of him. Harry had his back turned to him and he watched as the Slytherin attempted but failed to reach and scratch at something on the back of his uniform. Severus was fully aware of what had happened, the oil from the ivy leaf that had been required for the potion had obviously found its way – _somehow –_ onto his back.

"Harry?"

The Slytherin stopped dead with his actions, the sickly sweet but deep tone from his Professor sending a chill straight down his irritated spine. Swallowing and shuddering once more as the leaf in his mouth made its presence known, he put both hands on the edge of the sink and half turned his head in Professor Snape's direction.

"Sir?"

"It has since been at least five hours since your potions class."

"I am very aware of that…" Harry sulked, closing his eyes at the impending tongue lashing he was about to receive.

"And exactly _where_ did the contents of your cauldron go when it exploded?" Severus spun slightly on his stool to face the student who was attempting to _not_ look at him.

"My uniform… hands… neck…"

"And did you shower like Professor Slughorn would have suggested to you?" Severus silently stood after this, taking three quiet strides towards the cowering teen who was dying to rub his back against something to alleviate the sting.

"Yes, sir…"

"Hmm, then this is strange… is it not?"

Harry closed his eyes, ducking his head and letting his bangs hang over his face. _I really messed up_ , he thought as his fingers gripped the sink tighter. He didn't really think it was fair that the ivy managed to get down his back also, it wasn't the easiest spot on the body to properly scrub.

" _Please, sir_ – " Harry spun around expecting to find his Head of House still seated but instead found him less than a foot length away from him and looming as he did ever so well.

"Let me have a look." He took pity on the desperate expression and took a step back to allow the teen to do as he instructed.

"W-What?"

"Remove your shirt, Potter." Severus turned to face him fully from where he'd gone to find the correct ointment to apply, his voice was short.

Harry stumbled over his thoughts, wanting to stutter that he was perfectly fine but he knew that the rash would only get worse if left untreated. He could remember studying that poisonous plant in their second year and to this point he had been careful where he'd touched his body but clearly the soap hadn't quite reached the middle of his back. Resigning to the fate he had put on himself, he untucked his shirt and removed his jumper before attacking the buttons on his white school shirt. The tie was his next item to go, hesitating with his shirt until he saw the man approaching with a sour expression.

Finally, turning his back to the man, he let the shirt fall. It stopped at his elbows, the back of it sagging, providing enough room for the Professor to see but was surprised when he felt it being yanked away. This left him standing in his Professor's laboratory shirtless and feeling very exposed with the cool air making his rash feel worse and doubling its itchiness.

"Are you still convinced covering for Draco was a good idea?"

Harry froze at the question… Had it really been that obvious in class what he had done? Why had no one said anything at the time?

"Perhaps you have under estimated Horace's abilities. He may be aging but his mind has not dulled over those years, even if he seems rather flustered some days."

"I – I didn't – "

"Think he would notice? You should give him more credit than that." Severus commented dryly, wincing at how red and how extensive the rash was growing.

"Is it bad?"

"Nothing we cannot fix." He replied, putting the jar at the edge of the bench and taking his wand for extra lighting.

The irritation spread down the top half of Harry's spine and was working its way out from there, covering the shoulder blades and area below it. There were parts that would be achievable to reach but he wasn't concerned about the ointment at that point, he was now wondering if it had spread to other places.

"Have you touched the skin of your back since showering?"

"No, I was fine then but I've been really itchy for the past two hours."

"So, you have not touched this with your hands, you are _absolutely_ , sure?"

"Yes, sir! I told you."

"And you made sure to wash your hands after the shower, before doing anything else?"

" _Yes!_ " Harry groaned, wanting to turn around and tell the man where he could shove his observations when cool fingers slid around his hip to hold him still, the shock of the cold caused him to twitch.

"Forgive me for confirming that you will not be running to me in the middle of the night when something a little more _tender_ begins to swell and cause severe pain and discomfort." The older Wizard snapped bitterly and it was then that Harry realised what he was meaning.

"Oh…"

"Yes, _oh._ " He echoed, still sour, "Now keep still, this will be cold for a moment but will immediately dissipate the desire to scratch at it."

Severus swiped two fingers through the crème and lathered the teen's back with the sludge generously. It was an instant relief for Harry, whose shoulders sagged as he braced himself back against the edge of the sink. They were silent when the was happening and when Severus was done, he stepped around his student, gently pushing him aside so he could thoroughly wash his hands.

"Let it soak into your skin for a few minutes, then you can dress." He commented, noticing how the Slytherin had backed away slowly from the corner of his eye.

When he turned his head to looked at his student, drying his hands at the same time, he suddenly realised that he had a shirtless Harry Potter in front of him and felt his mouth go dry. If not for other reasons, he rationalised that it had to do with the fact he had a male in his room half naked and swiped his tongue around his mouth before swallowing thickly.

The next thought he had was in regards to the scars that lined both arms of the teen's body. It had been a while since he had looked at them so openly and felt as though a rock had been dropped into the contents of his stomach making him uncomfortable. If he could have done something to stop this earlier, if he had of know this would happen then he would have fought hard to prevent it. Unfortunately, this was not the case but he wasn't about to bring it up again, they seemed to be getting along well and Harry's progress was good. He glanced away when he noticed the darker lightning bolt shaped cuts and fully dried off his hands, this was actually a rather good test to see how his Slytherin reacted to having them exposed.

Harry wanted to shrink under the scrutiny and went to fold his arms defensively, not that it really did much good considering the other ninety percent of his top half was still exposed. There was something about the gaze he was receiving that seemed odd, especially seeing it on his bitter and cranky Defence Professor. He blushed lightly and turned his head, he still had some of his brewing gear out, so for lack of something better to do he went about putting everything away just as he caught movement from the other side of the small room where his Professor was busying himself also.

"This potion is perfect, Harry." The younger Wizard stopped at the comment and went back to the work bench, "Dare I say that it is just the same as the one _you_ brewed earlier."

"Is Draco going to get into trouble?" Harry asked worriedly.

"I do not know." Severus had the vial in his hand and peered over the top of it at the shirtless man standing in front of him, "It seems a rather moot point regardless, he would have failed the potion anyway. Should you both get punished for this? I have yet to decide. Though it does beg to question, what was Draco up to that had you rushing to his defence, hmm?"

Harry blushed and looked away, "He's having issues with a Gryffindor."

"This is hardly new to me."

"Well, no I suppose not…"

"But?"

"Why do you assume there's a _but_?"

"Harry, I have known Draco for many years, he is a little more complicated than simply holding a grudge against someone."

 _Oh_ , Harry thought suddenly feeling smaller than before. It didn't help that he was half undressed also.

"Look, Harry I will be honest with you. I do not want to see either of you failing this year." Severus's voice was forlorn, "Now, I know you mentioned that you are unsure what path you will take when you leave Hogwarts but you should not discredit the content you are being taught. What if you suddenly decide that you _do_ want to join the Auror programme at the Ministry? This stunt that you pulled today could well have ended that option for you."

"I can tell you right now that I don't want to be anywhere near the Aurors, I never will."

"The future is never certain." Severus put the potion down and stood up, leaving the room with a beckoning finger.

Harry followed him out and saw him go over to his desk, pulling a drawer open and walking back towards him with a piece of parchment. Placing it on the dining table he gave was given an expectant glance as well as a head nod to take a seat. Still feeling off about having no shirt on, he did as he was bid and tentatively sat down, sitting forward on the chair so he wasn't tempted to rest his exposed back to it.

"What's this?" Harry asked him bluntly but cautiously.

"You are going to write down what your interests are. Split the page in half, jot down everything that interests you and on the other side, everything that you do not like."

"Interests? What kind, like classes?"

"Anything, hobbies or sports. You may not like potions class but perhaps the aspect of brewing interests you."

Looking at the man sceptically, he nodded and was then handed a quill to write with. He stared at the paper as the man walked away from him but he scratched his head, not entirely sure where to start. _The obvious thing would be that I enjoy flying on a broom. If it weren't for last year I might have put down Quidditch… Well, I still enjoy it I guess._ At that he noted it down, there was nothing to compare the feeling of speeding through the air, feeling free. _He mentioned Potions, but I'm not really sure if that's something I'm passionate about._ He snorted when he thought about all the times he and Hermione had done their own brewing – namely the Polyjuice Potion – He supposed that that had been quite fun even if it was against the rules at the time.

He continued to think as he heard clinking and various other noises coming from within the laboratory but got a fright when the fireplace lit up green and a frustrated Headmistress stuck her head into the flames.

"Severus? Are you there?" She sounded strange through the flue network and Harry watched as his Professor walked briskly past him and towards the fire place.

"What is it, Minerva?"

"Oh, Severus I need a word urgently with you."

Grumbling, he agreed and then the fireplace went back to its normal orange flame. He wouldn't take much time with the Headmistress, glancing at the time it was late anyway and he knew that he should be sending Harry back to the Slytherin common room. His back was still an issue, so he wandered over and made eye contact with curious green eyes.

"I will be back momentarily. Keep working on the list in my absence." He instructed and Harry swallowed, realising he was going to be left alone there; it must have dawned on his face as he then received a mild glare.

"If you need the bathroom, it is through the bedroom. I trust that in my absence you will not linger or _touch_ anything you shouldn't."

Harry sat up straighter, his face reddening as he held up three fingers and puffing out his chest.

"I won't, Scouts Honour."

"A _what_ , Honour?" Severus frowned, wondering what in Merlin's name the teen was doing.

"Scouts… Honour, you _know_?" The younger Wizard responded lamely, trying to emphasise the three fingers but gave up half way through and shook his head, "Never mind, I promise I won't do anything you'd not want me to."

"Good." Severus said awkwardly, for lack of knowing what else to say and threw some flew powder into the flames that then turned green and stepped through it.

The room went deathly quiet after that and Harry glanced around nervously, suddenly feeling like he should not be there at all.

Severus stepped out of the fireplace in the Headmistress's office and was met with a surprising sight of Gryffindor and Slytherin robes. The unmistakable blonde and red hair setting his teeth into a tight grit as he stalked closer and stood next to Minerva. When he saw the look on Draco's face however, his eyes widened slightly before he glared at the Gryffindor sitting in the other chair, looking sour as anything. The blonde had dishevelled hair, a reddening eye and obvious broken nose with blood that had dripped down and appeared to have started drying.

"Explain." Severus ground out.

"As I was saying to these boys, for senior students this is absolutely abhorrent behaviour. I have a good mind to be expelling you, Mr. Weasley. Your actions are an insult to the name of Gryffindor _and_ to the school. As for you, Mr. Malfoy I don't know what you were thinking when you approached Mr. Weasley here but you are just as much to blame for the outcome."

Severus gave Draco the briefest of glances, wondering what could have fuelled such a strong and violent reaction from the teen. He'd had his run ins with the blonde many times over the years, mostly due to one Harry Potter – who he hoped wouldn't be rifling through his drawers at the present moment – but never anything that could have caused this level of brutality. He was surprised at the strength of Weasley, he always was a hot head but perhaps it was because of the other third of the trio that had stopped him lashing out like this.

"And how did we come to this conclusion?" Severus asked, arms folded and looking darkly between both teens.

"I was provoked by this ferret. I was only defending myself."

"Mr. Weasley, as a Wizard you should understand there are many _other_ ways to defend one's self without having to physically touch another individual." Minerva reminded the Gryffindor and Severus had to agree.

"Malfoy? Do you have anything else to add?" Severus commented but saw the hesitance in his grey eyes as though he wanted to say something but was afraid.

Sighing, Severus turned to the Headmistress and spoke softly, expressing his concern for the Slytherin's injuries and asked about punishments. Finding his house not quite in the firing line as he had thought, he issued Draco a few detentions and then offered to take him to Madame Pomfrey for a look over. She agreed, just as the door opened and the Gryffindor Head of House stepped into the room.

"Mr. Malfoy, you have been let off lightly. Professor Snape will escort you to the Infirmary, from there I would consider your future prospects carefully."

Draco nodded numbly and stood, just as the red head was starting to argue with the progression of things. He tried not to smile at this, he knew he was being given a pass by his Head of House but there was always a price for such acts. What _did_ surprise him however was when he turned in the direction of the Hospital Wing he was called back and they headed in the opposite direction.

"Sir?"

"I can mend your injuries, Draco but you will tell me what happened for you to obtain as such." His voice was level but deep down the injuries reminded him well enough of his own at school.

He was no Healer, but with his extensive knowledge in potions and a rather large array of healing spells, he would do an adequate job of making his student better. He hadn't forgotten about Harry in his living area and had thought that perhaps his two Slytherins could talk to each other about what was happening. They could even discuss the events that led to the potions accident earlier in the day.

"I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place." Draco stated, bringing Severus's attention back to the student he had with him.

"How so?"

"Have you ever found yourself developing… _feelings_ … for someone…"

The question took Severus right back to his school days, having to watch Lily Evans slowly distancing herself from him, then completely cutting him off whilst James Potter took the prize for himself. Life was very cruel, if this was some unfortunate type of karma that had been placed on him then it really had come full circle. Perhaps bringing Draco back to speak with Harry was a better idea than initially thought. He didn't know if he would be able to pass on unbiased advice for this particular situation.

"This obviously has something to do with, Mr. Weasely and Miss. Granger?"

"Yeah." Draco had shoved both hands deep into his pockets and nodded as he watched the ground in front of him.

Severus thought a moment, trying to extinguish the unpleasant feelings towards his own situation. He didn't do things like love, he was a bitter man that didn't deserve to feel that emotion and in turn to receive it. Lily had made that perfectly clear and from that moment he had never indulged himself of the feeling. This was now slightly problematic when attempting to give advice to a young man clearly caught in the cross hairs of love and romance.

"Stay away from her, Draco. If this is what it gets you, then you will need to think about whether this pain is worth it." Draco turned his head sharply and gaped as they rounded the corner towards his Professor's room.

"W-What, t-that's not –" The blondes stuttered voice was soft and almost unheard.

Opening the door to his private quarters, Harry seemingly hadn't moved from his position but he could see the teen's school shirt was on the back of the chair and he briefly wondered if it was because he could now feel the cold. The fire had dimmed somewhat, so he took his wand and shot another burst of flames toward it, another piece of wood also appearing in the hearth.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Draco said suddenly, seeing a half-dressed Harry across the room.

"Taking the heat for your stunning Potion's performance this morning." Severus answered for the brunette which effectively stopped Draco from making further comment.

"Blimey, what happened to _you_?" Harry asked when he finally looked at his friend.

" _Suddenly, I feel like a parent_." Severus muttered to himself as he disappeared into his laboratory.

"Had a run in with Weasley." He admitted sheepishly, walking over to where his housemate was writing.

"And he did _that_ to you?"

"I didn't really see it coming… I was trying to protect Hermione." He admitted once more, looking warily towards Harry.

"Protect her? What the fuck has he done?" Harry snapped the quill he'd been writing with when the sudden primal urge came through his body at the prospect of his best friend being hurt by his _ex_ -best friend.

"He didn't physically do anything… He approached us after you left and demanded that she leave with him. She stood up for me the best she could but I just – I don't know what came over me." Draco pulled out the chair and sat adjacent to his friend, leaning close so he could whisper.

"Who started the fist fight?"

"I didn't lay a hand on him, I had my back to him at the time and then suddenly I was pulled around and his fist connected with my nose." There was dried blood along the teen's lip that had been smeared from a cloth and it looked as though it were slightly crooked.

"He might have broken it actually." Harry frowned, leaning forward too and finding a defined break along the bridge.

It was at this moment that Severus remerged into the room and saw his two Slytherin's easing away from each other. He paused mid step at the scene, a mixture of emotions and twisting happening to his organs. Here he had been thinking that the physical fight had been about Miss. Granger, but was it possible he had gotten the wrong idea somewhere along the line?

"Potter, you can dress now." He commented, coming to stand in front of the blonde Slytherin with his wand pointed at the young face.

"Argh! _Damn_ it!" Draco ground out as the audible snap back into placement worked well to set his nose right.

Severus then handed the teen a damp cloth to wipe away the dried blood before producing a vial and handing it to him. Harry watched as he slid his shirt on then found a jar being placed in front of him that looked like the ointment he had been given prior. He glanced between it and his Professor, seeing the wary but angered onyx eyes staring back at him. Wondering what had just happened, he understood that his presence was no longer welcome and went to stand, leaving the broken quill and parchment on the table as he fetched his bag.

"Continue with your assignment, Potter. We will discuss this next week."

"Sure." Harry frowned at the odd behaviour.

"Draco, if you find yourself with a headache tomorrow morning, report to Madame Pomfrey and inform her of what happened."

"Yes, sir." The blonde nodded and with the cloth, walked into the other room to rinse it off, leaving Harry and his Head of House standing alone.

"You will need to apply more of that ointment in the morning." Harry nodded and was about to open his mouth when he stopped, "Perhaps, Draco could help you out." The tone was sarcastic just like he was used to in class but that was before the apex of the war, now it just sounded off.

"Oh, uh…"

"You appear close enough that it would not be an issue, Potter. Apologies if I have misinterpreted your – _relationship_."

"Well… sure he's seen my scars but I wouldn't say we're _that_ comfortable with each other." Missing the point completely, he was then focussed on Draco coming back through into the room.

Severus had definitely misread something, but the relief he felt wasn't what he had been expecting to experience. Something wasn't right here, he had almost felt disappointment but as to why, he had an inkling that complicated many things for the two of them.

"Draco, please help Potter with his back in the morning. Be sure to wash your hands thoroughly after doing so and do not touch any part of your body between that time." Severus didn't bother looking in the blondes direction, instead maintaining eye contact with the more favourable brunette standing close to him.

Harry then took the rest of his things, bundling up his robes and throwing them into his bag for the short trek into Slytherin common room. He paused at the door as they both let themselves out and gave his Professor one last wary glance before he disappeared, shutting the door quietly. This time, Severus was left in his own rooms alone, the silence not making him as comfortable as it once did. Things were changing, and he didn't know if he was entirely ready for them just yet.

 **. . .**

 _ **Muahaha, half naked Harry and some jealousy? Cause, why not!**_


	32. Chapter 32

**.**

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **I can think of a better, more painful way that Severus will swoop in and kiss Harry. I feel like the story has plateaued in terms of drama and I intend on fixing this.**_

 _ **Did someone say expulsion? Oops.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Dump him? Is that what we want to happen?**_

 **. . .**

The weather was still chilly but not unbearable as Harry and Draco sat up in the Quidditch pitch stands watching their House practice. The brunette had his list of interests that hadn't really grown since the other night with his Professor but he still wanted to make an effort, especially since things had soured somewhat in that period. He didn't know what had happened but apparently his Professor was struggling with something, it had even been evident in class but he tried not to dwell on it.

The crinkling of paper pulled him from his thoughts and he moved his gaze to his friend who was now chewing on the red candy he always seemed to have. Huffing in amusement, Harry shook his head and went back to tapping his quill against the parchment he had balanced on a hard covered book.

"You seem to have an endless supply of those." He commented, propping his feet up on the seat below him and leaning forward.

"Mother sends them to me regularly. I'm surprised you haven't noticed." Draco replied, leaning back against the stand behind him, now sucking on the red candy rather than chewing.

Instead of responding, Harry just hummed and starting doodling in the corner of his parchment. His list was rather small, he had flying and what had started out as a list of charms spells he crossed them out and wrote down _Charms class_. If he had been asked a few years ago to do this exact task, he would have wrote down breaking the rules as one but didn't think his Professor would have liked to read that.

 _He did say to write down anything… And let's be honest I am pretty good at avoiding people when I'm out past curfew_.

"What are you doing?" Draco had leaned forward by this point and rifled through his bag he'd brought along.

"Professor Snape reckons I'm throwing my future away by not having a plan for the end of the year. I don't want to be an Auror now, for obvious reasons, but he seems pretty certain that I'll change my mind."

"Funny, he thinks I'm doing the same thing."

"Have you spoken to him since Thursday?"

"I'm in detention for the most of the week, all but Wednesday, so he has me writing a list of things that interest me so that we can plan out what I might like to do with my life."

"Oh, that's what this is." Harry replied, moving his arm so the teen could see a small list.

"You haven't gotten very far." The blonde commented dryly, producing his own parchment that had considerably more items on it.

"This is basically the extent of what I'm interested in." Harry replied, sighing and sprawling out backwards against the stand.

" _Flying, Charms class_ and a bunch of doodling. Really? That's it? What about rule breaking, sneaking around, being a nuisance…"

"I don't _actually_ enjoy being a pain in the ass. It's partly hereditary." The brunette lamented, sitting up.

"Think about it, Potter. Sneaking around and breaking rules without getting caught is sort of like being cunning. It may not be an interest per say, but it's something you're good at even though when you're faced with conflict you don't hide your emotions well."

" _Everyone says that_." He grumbled, rubbing his face and hiding out the world.

They were interrupted for a moment when a Slytherin chaser came whizzing past them, their hair and robes shifting in the breeze it caused. Harry watched the chaser speeding off and barrel rolling into quite an impressive goal.

"Why don't you split the page into four parts then." Draco held out his hand for the parchment and placed it in his lap when Harry passed it over.

Drawing a horizontal line about half way down, he then wrote _what I'm good at_ , and _what I'm abysmal at_ ; then handed it back. Gaining a snort from Harry when he read what had been jotted down he half glared back but the teen was correct, he could probably fill both sides of the page with what he was terrible at. No, he needed to be sensible about it because he knew Professor Snape would not be amused if it was taken as a joke.

Yelling from the pitch caught their attention at this, Blaise was yelling at a fourth year Slytherin who had almost flown straight into the stands a few minutes ago and was looking a little sour about being called out over it. Harry took Draco's advice and began noting down some of the things he wasn't good at and wrote down, _cannot hide my emotions_ , on the other side of the parchment.

When Quidditch practice was wrapping up, the two Slytherin's started to make their way down to meet Blaise at the entrance. When Harry stepped off the stand however, his vision blurred and he stumbled to land on all fours.

 _[… Wood creaked beneath his body, the rich pine scent could still be caught even as the wooden stands had been weathered…]_

"Woah…" Harry staggered as he stood and blinked a few times to get his bearings. Draco jumped down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, looking concerned.

"What just happened?" The blonde asked cautiously.

"I-I think I just had a vision or something." The brunette answered hesitantly, looking down at his feet to make sure he had them firmly planted.

"Really?" There was awe in Draco's voice as they stood for a moment, but when Harry shook his head and took a deep breath they moved down the stairs.

"Actually, it felt quite similar to what I dreamt about the other night. Perhaps it had started back then."

"Well, Hermione _did_ ask if you were sure."

"I have dreams of the forest all the time, it wasn't as though it was too much different. But this _was_. Come on, I might go and find her."

"What do you think?" Blaise met them at the base of the stairs.

"Well, I've seen better flying from Madame Hooch's first years flying class."

"Yeah… That's what I thought." Blaise rolled his eyes and looked sullen, "We have no hope in the next match."

Harry felt sorry for his housemate, even more so for the pride that would be knocked from them when they lost the next game against Ravenclaw. Good thing Hermione wasn't all that into the sport and had only been around because her two best friends were on the Gryffindor team, he didn't think he could deal with the shame if she started having fun at tormenting them.

"Just get the Beaters to protect the Seeker so that we can have a quick game. At this point, with the state of that Keeper, you don't have much of a choice." Draco offered, shrugging and stepping in front of Harry as he continued to speak with Blaise.

This left Harry to think about what he'd just experienced. It felt surreal but familiar. It almost felt like it was in first person which created an unsatisfactory reminder about the snake attack on Arthur Weasley in the Department of Mysteries. This didn't feel like a threat however and it wasn't forced upon him at all. If it happened again, he wagered that there would be some control and perhaps this was actually his spirit animal trying to connect with him. The whole thing was bizarre but certainly not unwelcomed.

As for Hermione, she sat next to Ron in the library feeling miserable. He had hardly left her side over the last few days and she was starting to get frustrated with his protectiveness. It wasn't like she needed to be escorted everywhere and desperately wanted to speak with Harry but on her own, not with Ron looming over her like an overreaching branch of the Whomping Willow.

The fight that had caused a rift between them, it was very clear, but for the first time since she had become official with the Gryffindor she wanted to know that the other party was okay. She had always been so certain that Ron was the man for her, perhaps she had been blinded with that new romance when they first got together. They do say love makes us blind after all.

"You don't have to be here, Ron. I know how you hate studying." She commented dryly, the sight of Slytherin robes making her heart beat faster but it wasn't who she thought it was.

"But I want to." He commented lamely with a light defensive tone.

"Since when? Beginning of the year you couldn't stay further away from here if you tried."

"Yeah, well… That was before." Ron chewed out, burying his head into the parchment he was writing on.

Hermione sighed, and propped her chin up as she tapped the open page with her quill. She admitted that if this were the start of the year then she wouldn't have any qualms about him being there to study with a sinking feeling beginning in her stomach she knew something had to change. It would have been really good to talk with Harry at that point, perhaps she could corner him at dinner so they could talk. She doubted Ron would come near her if she sat with the Slytherins, who actually made her feel more welcome that the Gryffindor's did.

"Actually, I think I'm done for the night." She said suddenly, feeling like it would be better to study in the common room.

"O-Okay, I'll walk you."

"Thanks, Ron." She smiled sweetly at him, but deep down it made her stomach churn, it shouldn't be like this.

 **. . .**

Sitting at the Ravenclaw table, Harry was causally conversing with Neville and Luna with Draco slouching beside him. They had thought that Hermione would have been at dinner, it wasn't like her to miss it and both Slytherin's grew worried. It was something Luna picked up on and she touched Harry's arm gently from across the table with a sober expression, then her gaze flicked to the doors where she tilted her head with a dreamy smile on her face.

Draco was the one to turn his head and saw the bushy haired Ravenclaw waved hesitantly at him, out of sight from the rest of the hall but to those that were at Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. Nudging Harry with his elbow, the brunette looked at the doors and saw her also, frowning immediately when he saw her face. It looked suspiciously like she had been crying but he only knew that because of how many years they had been friends for. He stood immediately, stalking quickly out of the hall.

"Hermione…?" He greeted her warily then gasped and stumbled when she threw her arms around his shoulders, her body starting to shake.

"What's happened?" He asked, holding on to her tightly.

"I just need to get away for a bit… " She sniffed and he nodded, taking her arm and directing them down the corridor.

Draco huffed lightly, propping his head up with the palm of his hand as he watched them go. Hermione looked over her should before they disappeared and they briefly made eye contact but that was all it was. Feeling like a spare with another house and no real affiliations to it, he looked around the hall and glared at the Gryffindors, one in particular.

 _I bet this has something to do with him, she wouldn't just cry over nothing._ The blonde gritted his teeth as he observed the red head eating like a pig. It was that moment when something felt like it was taking over his body.

 _[… Nose sniffed the air, all the delicious scents of food. Everything was heightened, the voices grew louder with one boisterous laugh isolated out of them all…]_

Draco almost fell off the bench in surprise as his upper body twisted towards the one Gryffindor he'd like to decapitate. He was aware that Neville was speaking to him as he righted himself and stood slowly, blinking carefully so he knew that he could see with his own eyes and not that of whatever was inside him. His teeth clamped down on the leaf in his mouth and he found himself grunting when he departed the Great Hall.

Harry and Hermione snuck their way into the kitchens and were sitting at the table with desert being served in front of them.

"What's going on?" Harry asked, before spooning chocolate ice cream into his mouth.

"That obvious, huh?" She said solemnly, catching a nod from her friend. "Ron is being super clingy, it's annoying."

"I bet this has something to do with the other night?"

"He's acting more like a possessive big brother than a boyfriend right now… And he will never accept the fact that you're in Slytherin or that either of us have become friends with Draco. After all that's happened wouldn't you think he could put animosity aside and actually be happy for anyone other than himself?"

"I suppose you'd know him better than I do right now." Harry lamented, shrugging.

"Why did I even find him attractive in the first place?" She spooned her pie rather aggressively.

"I'm not sure I'd be the best person to answer that." He huffed a small chuckle at his response.

"Sorry. I suppose you're right. I said to myself before that people in love are often blind… I can't ever remember the defining moment where I thought of him as more of a friend. We'd all been around each other fiercely for years, spending almost all our time together… Then he was poisoned by that slag Romelda… I guess that's when I realised I started caring about him more than just friends."

"What's happening now? Why are you suddenly unsure?"

"That day he saw you in Fred's joke shop over Christmas, he came home really upset and said you had no right being friends with Draco. He still takes the scar on my arm way more seriously than I do and I think that's part of the reason why he says the Malfoy family are no good. I can see why he feels upset but it's _my_ body, and only _I_ should be able to be happy or upset about what's on it." At that she pulled up her sleeve to show the scar that read _Mudblood_.

"I assume you've told him that it doesn't bother you, or does it?" Harry asked, feeling a pang of regret when he saw the scar himself.

"I know it's there but I wear jumpers all the time. I guess… In summer I was more aware of it but it's just something that happened. I have no strong negative feelings towards it and it's not like its reminding me of something I'm not."

"I wish I could feel like that about mine." Harry muttered.

"Yours are a lot different, I can understand if you feel resentment because they weren't done by anyone else but you. In a way, you only have yourself to blame but we both know that you were having a rough time back then. You seem a lot happier now." She smiled sadly at him, rolling her sleeve down.

"Don't change the subject, we are talking about you." He reminded, pushing his bowl away.

She sighed and nodded but didn't say anything for a few moments, "I don't think it's going to work out."

"You're going to break it off?" Harry was both unsurprised and surprised simultaneously.

"I can't do this. He's not the man I once fell in love with… and to be honest, we don't suit each other at all.

"They say opposites attract." Harry offered but she shook her head.

"We are _too_ opposite. If you take away the time after Christmas, we hardly ever saw each other and it was a chore to get him to sit down and nut out his homework. I mean, we're all struggling with motivation this year but he's taking it for a free ride. Does he realise that failing Potions will mean he can't be an Auror? That skipping class and getting detentions will impact his final school report that goes out to prospective employers?"

That hit a tender chord with Harry and he sighed, looking away as he was reminded of someone else who had said the same thing to him recently.

"He's taking this whole, _war hero_ , thing way too far. In another few years, it will truly be history and the scars of that war will have mended. Well, for most people anyway, and the likes of Diagon Alley will have rebuilt. He doesn't understand it… Any of it. I'm wondering if he was always like this." Hermione tucked a loose strand behind her ear and felt tears welling in her eyes.

"I think his attitude had more to do with how many older brothers he had and trying to be heard." Harry offered but knew what she was meaning, "Does he really think of himself as a war hero?"

"… Yeah." She blushed a little at that and Harry shook his head angrily.

"That's pretty low."

"We helped the real hero." Smiling, she took his hand and held it for a moment.

"I will never think of myself as a hero. I did what I had to, I was the weapon they all needed."

"You still resent Professor Dumbledore, don't you?"

"He lied to me… Lied to me the entire time and made me look a fool when I stood up for him. In a way Aberforth was right, but all I could say at the time was that I trusted the man I knew."

"I'm sorry with how things worked out, Harry… I wish we could have saved them all."

"What's done is done." He tried not to think of the toll on the war right now, they were supposed to be talking about Hermione, not him.

"How are things going with Professor Snape? You seem to be taking his help well." She broke eye contact when a bowl of strawberries were placed on the edge of the table and she slyly leaned over to pull it closer.

"Things are good, I mean we talked a bit about various things but lately it's not really what we talk about that's helping. It's more just the fact that there he's there and I trust that he can bring me back from a panic attack. He's quite understanding too, which I know sounds odd given the history we've had with him."

"That was mainly because he was playing a spy, I don't particularly blame him for the way he acted now that we know where his allegiance truly lay. But it's good to hear that he's helping you, I can see the change in both of you actually."

"Eh?"

"He's mellowed out a lot, and I see the way he looks at you in class." She smiled at this, "It's rather endearing."

Harry spluttered, heat rising in his cheeks.

"And you look totally smitten with that idea." She laughed at his expense and squeezed his hand.

"I am _not_ smitten." He looked away and wanted to hide his face.

"Okay, okay. Not smitten then, perhaps relaxed is a better word." She calmed her laughter for a moment and then grew serious, "But I would be cautious of getting too attached to him, he's not going to be around forever and when you leave at the end of the year, he's not going to be available if you have a meltdown. I would work more on the talking Harry and towards developing a game plan if things get too much in the future."

Hearing those words, Harry's heart constricted tightly in his chest. Professor Snape had said he would always be there for him, was he just saying that for the rest of the year or the rest of their lives? Had he lied? He certainly hoped not, the man was an integral part of his life now and just the thought of not being able to see him made him feel cold, as though he'd just been drenched in a bucket of cold water.

"I-I won't, I mean nothing is ever certain anyway." Harry stuttered, echoing the words of said Professor from the week prior.

"Good, because I'd hate for you to relapse or struggle when it was time to leave here. I will _always_ be here for you, I hope you know that. We came to Hogwarts together and we will leave together, we had Muggle upbringings and I think that's how our friendship developed, because we understand."

"I'll always be there for you too, Hermione." He mustered a smile after that but the whole conversation was tainted with the realisation that he might not be able to hold onto his Head of House forever.

 **. . .**

Eating had become an easier task over that week, the leaf in their mouths had shrunk somewhat and now resembled the consistency of spinach when it had been cooked down. Certainly, for Draco his attitude had diminished but Hermione was struggling as her first week approached and for Harry, he didn't eat all that much still anyway. As the two Slytherins sat at their table however, they watched as Hermione went and sat with Luna and Neville, shortly after this Ron made his way over and clumped down next to her.

"I hate him, so much." Draco glared daggers at the red head.

"What's the deal with you and Hermione anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's pretty clear that you like her. A _blind man_ would be able to see that." He commented, anchoring the leaf in his mouth so he could take a drink.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on. It's clear as. Just admit it; there's no way you can act on it anyway, so what's the harm?"

"My pride." He huffed, looking away from the couple and staring down at his lunch.

"Well, whatever pride thing you have going on, you won't need to defend her so strongly in the future. I think they're going to break up."

The spluttering that followed that statement wasn't technically a surprise but Harry hadn't expected it to happen with such a flourish. Draco then took a moment to check the leaf was still in his mouth before he hunched over the table and looked back at his food. The brunette huffed and smiled before turning his attention elsewhere, the head table. Harry had been thinking about what Hermione said about not growing attached to his Professor but how could he when he had passed that point. He felt like too much had been said and done for them not to have formed some attachment but it did pose a rather brutal question. They were friends, Professor Snape had said as much, so was it only friendship until the end of the year or for the long term?

He had to find out and decided that he would wait until he was with the man on this night to voice his concern. The worst thing that could happen was that it was just for the year and then they moved on, he didn't feel like everything would stop right away.

The senior students had their classes cancelled in the late afternoon with a meeting scheduled by the Headmistress, it was odd to have this but not uncommon. Harry had a feeling he knew what this was going to be about. They filed into a large classroom that had been emptied save for the chairs they were going to sit in and found a seat down the side of the room. Pansy and Blaise sat next to them and to all four Slytherin's surprise, Hermione raced through the crowd and slipped between her two Slytherin friends.

"I don't particularly want another broken nose." Draco whispered to her and she gave him an empathetic glance.

"I'm truly sorry about that… I told him off for his behaviour, but I think it went in one ear and out the other." She side eyed the Gyrffindor house that had congregated along the opposite side of the room and saw how livid he was glaring at them.

"Just ignore him, he wouldn't do anything with our teachers here." Harry leaned across Hermione to whisper at both of them just as he saw the Headmistress walking into the room.

"Silence please, all of you." Minerva said, coming to stand at the front of the room and the students became quiet gradually as they noticed her presence.

A lot of the staff were there, including all four Heads of House, Severus stood off to the side at the front as he would have normally done. He took a quick glance around the room and found a pair of curious green eyes looking over at him and he nodded mutely before looking away.

"It has come to my attention that most of you are feeling stuck in the education we are providing here for you at Hogwarts." There was a pause as some students looked between each other, wondering if they were going to get a tongue lashing.

"We do not blame you." Again, whispers started and grew louder but were quickly squashed when Minerva started to speak once again.

"With this in mind and after many discussions, we have decided to re-introduce the duelling club for all students to partake in. We will start by hosting it once a week and be run by Professor Snape. It is our intention that as senior students, your skills and knowledge could support Professor Snape in teaching content to the younger students and broadening your relationships with them. If the need arises, I will consent to allowing new content to be taught to you that will far surpass what is taught in your Defensive class. However; this is a privilege and any misbehaving or convoluting will mean exclusion from this activity."

" _Convoluting._ " Hermione huffed in disbelief.

"Professor, did you have anything else to add?" Minerva looked to Severus who in turn shook his head, there wasn't much more to say anyway.

"This experience is open to all students and attendance is voluntary, so please do not feel pressured to participate if you do not wish to. Announcement will be made at dinner this evening, if you would like to be part of the support students for Professor Snape then I suggest you stay back now so we have an idea for numbers. For now, you are free to go."

Minerva clapped her hands to emphasise this point and then looked to Severus for a moment only to find his gaze was firmly in the direction of a student making his way to the door. Disappointment was clear on her colleagues usually stoic and impassive face. Looking at said student, she saw the hesitance when he reached the door and the brunette turned around, face redden and then he was gone.

She made her way over to her Defence Professor and stood beside him as some students started to gather.

"You cannot blame him." She commented quietly.

"I don't." He replied, then caught sight of a blonde mop of hair that had come over to part of the group.

Harry shoved both hands in his pockets as he walked away from the room alone. What he'd thought would be a good idea at first, didn't sound so appealing when he was sitting in there listening to the Headmistress. However, what he wanted to do the most at this moment, right there, was to speak with his Head of House but that would have to wait until later that night. He couldn't help but feel his anxiety rising and the more he thought about it, the worse he felt and in turn, the more he wanted to be in a safe place.

Unexpectedly, as he turned a corner he stumbled and reached a hand out for the wall.

 _[… The image of pine trees faded in an out from the stone walls, the air snapping between moist fauna and stale parchment…]_

Blinking, Harry braced himself against the cold stone wall in the corridor. Another vision or hallucination, whatever it wanted to be defined as. He desperately wanted to know what this meant, did his spirit animal live in the woods? He could tell he had a wet nose, not that he had seen it but something deep down made him feel like that was the case. Glad that he hadn't experienced this whilst standing with the other students, he carried on his journey with a new destination in mind. The room of requirement.

 **. . .**

Severus was bent over his cauldron, inspecting the contents as if he were half expecting them to blow up in his face. For this purpose, he had the top layer of his hair tied back and out of the way, the rest falling naturally down his neck. None of the students had been privy to this look before, absolutely none, due to his consistently disciplined privacy standards. He was slightly self-conscious of his facial proportions also and therefore tended to stay away from showing too much of his face. Despite what some might say, he enjoyed the length of his hair and therefore did not mind that it sometimes sat awkwardly at his shoulders.

With the potion seeming to simmer away, he was granted a small reprieve and used this time to jot down his observations. Whilst he wasn't the Potion's teacher anymore, that didn't mean he had stopped brewing. In fact, he had found his passion re-ignited since he was far away from seeing rotten and insulting sludges students produced on a daily basis. As far as he was concerned, Horace could have Potions forever, he didn't want that class back.

The faint sound of a door shutting alerted him to someone coming into his room; glancing at the time, he deduced that Harry had arrived. Since they were seeing so much of one another during the weeks he had set a charm on his door, allowing it to open for the teen without him having to go himself. At this point, he hadn't gotten around to specifying a time but he _had_ said to his Slytherin that the door would always be open to him so there wasn't any problem to date. His deductions were correct when he saw his Slytherin push the door open and lean against the frame to the laboratory, he waved the teen in without looking directly at him and missed the hesitant pose.

"Good evening, Harry."

"Sir."

"I will not be long, make yourself settled and then we can begin." Severus turned away and went to the sink, rinsing off the rod he had used to stir his concoction.

"Actually sir, I was wondering if I could study this evening. Professor Slughorn set an assignment on the tentacular leaf and I've been putting it off." Harry's voice semed different and Severus finally turned to face the teen who was biting his lip.

"And what makes you think I happen to have some in my stores?" Severus took a towel and was wiping the rod dry.

"Because you do?" Harry blushed and shrugged, his eyes darting to the cupboard where he knew the more dangerous ingredients were kept.

"Help yourself." The man sighed and shook his head with the softest of smiles before turning back to what he had been doing.

Harry made his way further into the room and went over to get the jar of highly venomous leaves that he needed to inspect. Sure he could have given the man a textbook description like most would have done but he was rather fascinated by the plant, which was mainly because he didn't have to actually get in contact with the full plant. They always freaked him out, and he shuddered at the close encounter he'd had with one in his fourth year. Besides, he was trying to stall the inevitable conversation about not wanting to join the duelling club so why not use this as an excuse.

Severus was staring into his potion once more, the cleaned stirring rod at the ready for when the consistency began to change. He could hear the teen rummaging around for what he needed and trusted that nothing of worth would end up on his floor – perhaps he should have retrieved it himself, he knew how clumsy the Slytherin was from time to time.

"I can see why you don't have your hair up often, sir."

Harry's words caused his focus to change from the cauldron to an item at the other side of the room as he frowned in attempt to work out what the boy had said and why he'd said it. Taking his eyes off the book he had fixated on for a moment, he turned his head and looked at the back of the teen's body as he stood on tip toes, reaching a long way into the back of his cupboard.

"What makes you say that, Potter?" His voice was wary and he turned back to the potion so he could hide the disappointment that was sure to follow.

"Just that people might perceive you differently."

Severus finally stood straight and placed the rod in front of the cauldron, pulling his attention fully away from what he was doing and now completely immersed in what his student was saying.

"I know how you value the strict act you put on." Harry had finally found what he was looking for and closed the door.

"Where is _this_ coming from?" Severus was most confused but partly growing self conscious with his hair being tied up and pulled the tie free.

Harry made eye contact briefly and Severus noticed how his cheeks reddened as he attempted to escape the conversation by walking off. He saw the shrug as his student inspected the jar he was holding much tighter than necessary and that's when Severus decided what ever was on Harry's mind needed to be addressed sooner rather than later.

"Just an observation, sir. It suits you." And with that, the younger Wizard disappeared into the living area.

Severus simply stared at the empty doorway and folded his arms as his right hip leaned against the table he was using. _It suits you_ , did it really? He didn't see how. His nose stuck out like a beak which generally caused everyones attention towards that particular feature. Then he had wrinkles setting into his foreheard that he would have rather noone ever saw, the lighting had to be just right to hide these. So what part was _appealing_? Was this Harry growing attached during their time together and he was now seeing past the ugly, distasteful parts of his appearance? He had been kissed twice by his student but at the time he had thought that was because he felt lost and in pain, just seeking some form of comfort.

Actually, now that he thought about it, he had allowed Harry to see this side of him that no other student had ever, only Albus and Minerva had caught him out on a occasion and that was when they arrived unannoucnced. He knew full well that Harry would be seeing him tonight and thought nothing of his appearance, he just thought it a normal part of their interactions. They were friends, of course, but this felt different.

The table he was still resting against started to shake part way through his musings but it was too late to save his creation as it exploded with a gentle bang, surrounding him in a cloud of smoke. Fanning it away from his face, he sighed rather dejectedly and went about cleaning the mess he had made. Noting down in his note book the time he had left it simmering, he set it away and emerged from his lab to find his student hunched over his work.

He chose to address it when the teen was finished with whatever Horace had set for homework. It was disappointing that Harry had left it so late and he would definitely be asking him why. He also wanted to broach the subject of the duelling club, he had been so sure he would do it seeing as all his friends seemed to think it an excellent idea, but it was almost as if he changed his mind last minute.

"Are you okay, sir?"

Severus hadn't realised he'd been standing in the doorway for so long but now his student was half turned in his seat and watching with concern. A natural reaction he reasoned, Harry had seen enough of his own exploding cauldrons that were far more vicious than the one that he would have heard just now. Besides, friends cared for one another, didn't they?

"I am fine. However, it feels hypocritacle of me to have badgered you all these years about concentrating when I cannot do the same in my own laboratory."

" _Professor!_ I am shocked." Harry gasped in exaggeration which earned him a dead look from Severus at the dramatics.

"Moving on." Severus came and sat at the head of the table, Harry in front and to his right, "I find _myself_ at a loss that you have decided to leave work up until the last moment. There was a time recently where I thought you were past this." He sat back in his chair and regarded the teen coolly, placing his hands delicately in his lap.

"Would you like the textbook answer or a real answer to the properties of a Tantacular leaf, sir?" Harry refused to look at him, instead toyed with the quill in his hand.

"Are you trying to be smart with me?"

"No, sir. Just the truth."

"I see."

"You always seemed to despise people who took their work straight from a book, I thought you might be a little more pleased than this." Harry put the lid back on the jar and slid it towards the man before closing his book.

"You misunderstand, Harry. You eluded to the fact that you left this homework till the last minute. Should you want to extend your knowledge, then that would have been a better angle for bargaining and we would not be having this conversation."

"Oh."

"Indeed. The last thing I want is for the time we spend together to impede on your work load, but if you say that this is because of educational reasons then I can accommodate. Now, are you finished?"

"Yes, sir. Thanks." Harry closed his book, resting his arms on the table, not once looking over at the older Wizard.

They stayed like this for a few minutes, Harry not wanting to say anything and Severus wondering what was going on in the teen's mind. Usually an open book with his emotions, this time he really had no idea what was taking his attention. The older Wizard was about to open his mouth when Harry moved and spoke.

"You're disappointed, aren't you?" His voice was small, and refused to glance up.

"What about?" Severus replied.

"About the club. You wanted me to be a part of it too?"

 _Ah, so this is why he is acting strange._ Severus remained silent as he thought things through before speaking again.

"I would have thought that with your declaration of wanting to prove yourself worthy of your accolades that it would have been something you would participate in. On the other hand, I can understand why you would not want to."

"What if it brought back memories? What if someone hits me with a spell and I freak out again?" Harry finally looked up, then hastily glanced away.

Severus wasn't going to stand for this and removed himself from the table, pulling Harry's chair out also and taking his arm. The sudden onslaught of manhandling caught the teen off guard and he stumbled slightly as he was dragged towards the couch. Being lightly pushed to sit down, he did so before he found his Professor almost sitting on him he was that close. The position was by far, familiar, and with the sudden hands at the backs of his thighs he soon found himself half sitting across the man's lap like usual.

"You need to start having more faith in yourself. Not every experience will be like last time and you are forgetting one very important factor." Severus turned his head so he was looking straight into Harry's green eyes once he'd caught his attention.

"What's that?" Harry whispered, aware of how close they were once he felt the arm coming across his shoulders.

"I will be there, you will not be alone."

 _I will be there for you, I always have been_. The older Wizards words echoed in his mind and he remembered the conversation he and Hermione had had recently in the kitchens.

"But you won't… You can't." Harry suddenly replied, surprising Severus, "When I graduate… You won't come with me, will you? And I couldn't come here, I couldn't _stay_ here with you. You even said it yourself that nothing is ever certain. How can we be certain that we'd still be together at the end of the year?"

"Harry… Where is this coming from?" Severus was so startled by the statement that he spoke without filter, overlooking what it actually sounded like.

"Just been thinking."

"No, _you_ do not come to that conclusion by yourself." Severus shifted, sitting up slightly and bringing the teen with him.

"Someone told me I shouldn't be getting so attached…" Harry could feel the stinging in his eyes as tears gathered.

 _Bloody Hermione Granger has her name written all over it_ , Severus bit back any further comment and attempted to refrain from snarling at the young Witches words. Sure, she was Harry's friend but last he checked, the Headmistress had tasked him, _Severus Snape_ , with the job of making a student better. Not Granger, not Fletcher, but Professor Severus Tobias Snape.

"You should know well enough by now that I do not make half-hearted gestures and that I keep my promises." Even though at the beginning of the year, he had promised himself not to get attached.

"I know you do…"

"So then why are you listening to a female who has no real understanding of what it means to be, Harry Potter?"

"Wha – "

"What gives Miss. Granger the right to tell you who surrounds you or what you should be doing?"

"Bu – "

"Who says that at the end of this year, I do not retire from teaching and work as a freelancing Potioneer?" Still with no filter, Severus dropped a bombshell he hadn't intended on anyone knowing about until later; he knew it had surprised his Slytherin by the sudden twisting of his body so they were facing each other.

"Retire?"

Unable to take the words back now, Severus nodded slowly in response. Feeling his face warming at the scrutiny of his words, he dared to look the teen in the eye and found an awe inspired reaction to what had been said. Unsure how to proceed, he remained silent for now and let the information sink in, he could see hope brimming in the unshed tears Harry had that formed a crystalized shine on his emerald eyes.

"You're going… to leave Hogwarts?" Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing and something within blossomed at the prospect.

"I had not intended on making this known, not yet."

"I won't tell anyone, I swear!" Harry replied emphatically before slumping back against the arm down his back. "Wow…"

"This news has completely relaxed you." Severus made the observation aloud and was given a soft nod in return, feeling as the teen's hair brushed against his neck when it was laid out on his shoulder.

"Even I'm not sure why." The younger Wizard replied, suddenly frowning at the rollercoaster of emotions he was feeling. "I'm exhausted, this week feels like it's been hectic." It didn't help that he was only into week two of his month-long Mandrake leaf.

"Is there something else going on that I should know about?" Harry tensed, which did not go unnoticed and Severus's hand twitched in response.

"Not really, just school…"

"Why do I not believe that." The older Wizard stated, enjoying the comfortable position they were in and the fire crackling softly in the background.

 _Probably because it's a lie_ , Harry thought. When he'd been in the room of requirement, he'd had some time to think about things and after what Hermione had talked to him about the night… Analysing those feelings that he had towards a certain tall, dark and brooding individual he happened to be sitting on. If he were honest, it was a little unfair; he doubted those feelings of security and warmth were returned. His Defence Professor was always going on about how it was _his job_ to look out for him, to make sure he didn't do anything stupid or reckless but then here they were being cosy with each other on his couch.

A rational man would have assumed something that he wasn't going to admit. The hormonal teenager within him however, had other ideas and those included various twitches and jerks from one piece of his body he was trying to ignore. He had too much going on within his head to be allowing this kind of thing to rule his brain, too bad that memo seemed to completely bypass his mind and the rational man within it.

"Harry? Please tell me what is going on, I need to know that you will be okay when leaving here tonight."

"I don't want to leave." Harry responded.

"This was always meant to be a safe place for you, so I am glad we have achieved that."

"It's not what I meant." The younger Wizard shifted, straightening his back so he could look into the mans eyes.

"Then what did you mean?" Severus's heart was beating furiously in his chest, wondering if this was going to be a moment he had half dreaded would happen.

"… I like being here – being with _you_. I… I think…" He swallowed, remembering that if he tried action something he would most likely be _dissuaded_.

The hand that was resting along his shoulder blades shifted as he looked down at his lap, his fingers lacing together anxiously as terrible thoughts circled his mind. What if he ruined everything with one statement or action; what if he was kicked out on his ass because he'd failed to heed the man's wishes back when they went out for dinner over Christmas? The Mandrake leaf made its presence known again at that moment and he tucked it under his tongue, swallowing in an attempt to curve the nervous butterflies that threatened to double.

Taking a deep breath and moving his head so he could look the man in the eye, the hand on his back had curled around the base of his skull. His Professor looked completely different with the only real light provided coming from the fireplace in front of them. He had a glow, the features on his face looking softer and more inviting; that wasn't to say that he didn't think Professor Snape didn't look good in day light, but with his hormones taking control of his thoughts he had come to this conclusion and liked it.

His heart hammered away in his chest, he could hear the blood flow in his ears as it circulated harshly around the skinny frame he had. Distantly aware that the warmth from his knee had disappeared, he'd put all thoughts aside with the intention of leaning forward to press his lips against his Professor's only to find a tightened grip at his nape and a thumb pressing across his mouth. Dread filled his body immediately and his heart rate had doubled, it it were even possible without going into a cardiacarrest.

"You do not want to do that, not now." Severus whispered, effectively thawrting any attempt for them to kiss.

Harry couldn't stop the whimper that escaped his lips when the deep voice was heard, if anything it sounded like a soft bedroom voice and dripped in seductive tones. With a beet red face and crushed ego, he went to move his head away so he could at least avert his gaze from the burning one in front of him however he found that he was trapped. Those onyx-like eyes watching him felt like a white hot rod poking into his heart and he desperately wanted to get away from it.

"I – "

"As I promised earlier, any attempts will be dissuaded. We will acknowledge that it was going to happen and move on. No harm, no foul."

The younger Wizard closed his eyes, shame coursing through his thin body. Eyes stung with fresh tears threatening to burst like a damn, he was such a fool. Voldemort was right, he was weak – spineless even – he couldn't control himself, he was so… so what? _Desperate? Needy?_ He didn't know what he wanted or what he was doing. He still felt so lost, even though he had an academically focussed challenge that was on-going it seemed his heart was trying to tell him he needed something. Why did that something have to be found within Professor Snape?

Instead of replying to his Head of House, he simply nodded and shook the first tears out of his eyes in the process. The thumb moved from his mouth to his cheek in that instance to wipe them away and nothing more was said on the subject.

 **. . .**

 **Onyx, sweetheart… Please remember to breath.**


	33. Chapter 33

**.**

 _ **Oh my, such a strong response to that chapter! I do apologize for the painful ending but I can't deny there was an evil grin on my face when I hit the upload button.**_

 _ **. . .**_

 **#TheSpaz:**

 _ ***Hands you a tissue***_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Wow, great feedback! I'm interested to know how you feel about Harry and Hermione's next interaction in this chapter. I'm not sure if fireworks are going to be how Harry and Severus finally 'get together'… Think more, intense and dramatic, perhaps. ;)**_

 **#delia cerrano:**

 _ **Ha, I agree. But remember, running away from the problems and ignoring them won't make him feel better. I do, insanely, want to get to a stage where they can kiss. I'm frustrated writing it so I can only imagine how you feel reading the story.**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Please breathe! Oh my gods, do I need to resuss you?**_

 **#i-am-siriusly-sherlocked:**

 _ **Amazeballs feedback! Thank you so, so much! You are right, that's not the Severus I created. The control and limits need to be smashed to absolute fine powder for that man to give into desires. Especially since said man has closed himself off to the world for like what, two decades? It certainly will be a delicious torturous corner once we get there.**_

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **Yeah, I thought I had their animals sorted but I'm struggling with Draco… I'm always welcome to suggestions but Harry's is set in stone, that won't change.**_

 **#Droomvlucht** _ **:**_

 _ **Well, once you get to this chapter, thank you for sticking with it! Yes, I thought the pink quill was a nice touch. Unfortunately, yes that was a DWP quote but it wasn't intentional, I just think Miranda is a Boss A** B****. I even had to stop myself from saying – "Let's make Hogwarts great again", Because it just reminded me of D. Trump. From time to time I do find myself inserting quotes from various movies and books, I just can't help it.**_

 _ **. . .**_

The Great Hall had been transformed for the afternoon into a dueling stage and almost the entire school had turned out for the first official meet to the dueling club. Severus was speaking to Filius and Minerva up on stage about various rules and expectations for the students, this was just going to be an introduction to the workshop that Severus was planning then in the following week, once he had confirmed numbers of who he would be expecting, he would work one on one with the students. Hopefully, with the support of the seniors.

Speaking of those senior students, he saw Draco walking into the hall with two of his classmates but neither of them were Harry. Glancing around the hall, he found a famous mop of red hair and next to it, the Ravenclaw Witch he had been hoping would be with his Slytherin. He couldn't deny that this disappointed him, after what they'd spoken about a few nights ago – even though it was interrupted by the desire to be kissed – he thought he'd gotten through to the teen.

"This looks to be about the entire school, Severus. We should get it started, the students still have study they could be doing; especially for the senior students."

"Of course, Minerva." He nodded and the other two left the stage so he could begin.

Taking a final glance around the hall, he began introducing the finer details of how the club would work, explaining various elements he would cover first before expanding into the more intricate of spell work. At some point throughout the speech, he hadn't seen a certain wary brunette stepping into the hall and finding a spot in the corner.

Harry had been tossing and turning the entire night thinking about it, did he participate or not? He wasn't sure the man would even want to see him after his stellar performance a few nights prior. In the end he concluded that he had made the issue far larger than it should have been and his Professor was right, he wanted to prove to people that he wasn't weak, that he could handle the pressure and become a strong Wizard. He had wanted to prove that he wasn't just a weapon that Dumbledore had molded out of a tooth pick. He had the right to be a Wizard just like everyone else.

That's why he was here today.

His Professor hadn't seen him, thankfully; they hadn't really spoken since the other night and he'd even tried to refrain from making any sort of eye contact during breaks or throughout class. It had been difficult, but each time he'd laid eyes upon the man when he wasn't looking, made his gut twist uncomfortably.

" – So with that, I believe it would be beneficial if we had a volunteer pair give a demonstration of a real duel." Severus put both hands in his pockets and cast his eye around the room to find all the senior students.

There were a couple of seventh years who were brimming with uncontrolled desire to be the pair but he didn't feel comfortable in shunting the seniors aside like that. He thought perhaps Granger and Draco would be a good fit; they were the best students at the school. _Pity they never managed to become Head Boy and Girl, if it weren't for the war…_ His thoughts trailed away when he caught sight of Harry standing in the corner, their eyes connected and all else faded into the background.

Harry blinked in confusion for a moment, then realized why he was receiving such a heated glance by the man. _He wants me to go up there and duel someone… Can I do that though? I only thought I would be helping, not putting on a fake show for everyone to see_. Then again, he wondered where the harm was in doing a quick demonstration, if only he were paired with Hermione or – Merlin forbid – Draco Malfoy.

He cast his eyes down a moment, remembering the hacked job of a duel the two of them had done in their second year. He knew Draco was standing near the front of the group, he could see the blonde hair from where he was positioned and shot a wary eye over at him. Severus followed the gaze and started to smirk when his black eyes rested on that particular Slytherin.

"What do you say, Mr. Malfoy?" Severus's voice was low but he was standing close enough for the teen to hear him.

Looking back to Harry, he finally saw the fire; that spark in his eye that he'd been so used to seeing all these years and nodded slowly in satisfaction. Harry was going to play the game and pulled the hood over his head to cover his face. Thinking that the brunette was preparing himself, he hailed Draco to come up on the stage and met him by the stairs at the edge of the platform.

"Fancy another pair off with Potter?"

"He's here?" Draco's eyes widened and he glanced around to try and see him.

"Mr. Potter, why don't you join Mr. Malfoy and finish what the two of you started six years ago?" Calling out into the crowd, the students were looking about to try and see Harry but instead were fixated on a student who was walking to the stage with his face covered by robes.

" _Should I go easy on him?_ " The blonde whispered, leaning towards his Head of House with concern.

" _Duel like you would have before, do not make an issue out of it."_ Severus whispered back, turning his head away from the students in the process, only to frown and look back when a few hecklers made their voices heard and a few started laughing.

The only thing that _wasn't_ humorous about the situation was Harry's expression. He was focused, eyes like laser beams and shooting daggers towards his housemate and Professor. What _was_ funny, were the robes Harry had fashioned himself in the short walk from the back of the hall to now. True to his first encounter with Draco in their second year, he donned Gryffindor robes to add a dramatic flair for the older students who would have remembered the original story.

Draco snorted, mostly in disbelief, "Stylish, Potter."

"It's been a long time coming, but let's finish this." Harry replied, his voice carrying strongly across the room.

"No complaints from me." Draco shot back, pulling his wand free from the holster around his forearm.

"Students, I suggest you step back and give these boys some room." Severus suggested as the two made their way towards the center of the runway.

The Slytherin Head of House watched closely, Harry's face had darkened somewhat in the time he had been spotted till now and wondered if this was such a good idea after all. _Perhaps I should have paired him with Miss. Granger_ , but it was too late now and the two Slytherin's were addressing each other with their wands upright.

"I really despised you back then." Harry spoke softly.

"The feeling was very mutual, but now we are friends."

"Why don't you tap into that hatred for a little while, we could both use the workout."

"Potter, Malfoy; take your places." Severus sighed, tapping his wand against his shoulder lazily with both arms folded.

"No holding back." Draco agreed and they both nodded.

Severus glanced warily towards Minerva, who in turn was watching the boys closely. It was clear who she wanted to win and for a moment, he caught himself hoping Slytherin _did_ win, just like old times. It wasn't until he remembered Harry was actually in his own house that it made the opportunity to bet on a winner, moot.

Turning their backs to one another, Harry looked to the floor and watched the moon fade through its cycle as he approached the end of the stage.

 _Professor Snape wanted me to do this, so here I am. I wanted to prove myself worthy of this title people have placed on my head, so I will participate. I was the chosen one, not because I had immense power or darkness within me, but because I was unfortunately selected… So why not prove that I am strong? Why not prove I'm not this weak person everyone sees me as now because I'm suffering effects of trauma. Professor Snape… Watch me; never take your eyes away!_

Taking a deep breath when he reached the end, he composed himself as his hands began to clam up. His heart had started to beat faster on the journey down the runway but he couldn't back out now. Dueling was second nature to him now, this is what he did, who he was. Machine or not, he knew how to attack and defend. This was what he was born to do.

Turning in a fluid motion, Harry addressed his classmate at the other end, his arm straight out in front of him and ready for the attack.

"On the count of three." Severus announced, now standing next to the Headmistress.

"One… T – "

" _Petrificus Totalus."_ Draco disobeyed the countdown once again but Harry had been prepared and deflected it with ease, using the shields they'd covered in class.

" _Levicorpus."_ Harry countered, a purple light erupted from his wand and was shielded with grace.

The first jinxes done, the test run had been completed. Now, it was game time. This was a long time in the making, getting back at Draco and he had no doubt the feeling was mutual. They were friends, fierce friends now.

" _Redactum._ " Draco sent the red shrinking charm towards him and he jumped out of the way.

" _Titillando."_ Harry shot the canary yellow jinx with humor, hoping it would hit the blonde, but it didn't and he looked almost angry in concentration.

This was where it got serious.

" _Reducto!_ " They yelled together.

Their wands connected, like they had in Defence class at the beginning of the year and the rush both felt caused them to smile. Severus gritted his teeth, he hadn't wanted them to boast and show off but he couldn't deny that it was good to them taking it seriously. Sparks began to split from the connection in the middle and some of the closer students gasped and took a step back. Their powers were evenly matched, the connection not wavering in the slightest but with a grunt they both broke it off when they could see neither would win.

"This is how it should have been second year." Pansy whispered to Blaise, who nodded with a nervous expression.

 _So far so good,_ Harry coached himself.

The teens then turned to non-verbal spells which they were more than proficient in. A lot of the first and second year students watched on with fascination, as did some of the staff. These students weren't children anymore, Minerva had to remind herself of this, and they were going to make extremely strong Wizards when they left at the end of the year.

A hex caught Draco off guard and hit him in the foot, causing him to hiss and limp to the side but Harry wasn't going to be fooled by dramatics and continued his barrage of attacks. Both of them were starting to tire and it was obvious to those who were watching closely as their movements became more sloppy.

"Remember, it is to _disarm_ only!" Severus reminded them in a rare moment where the two of them had stopped to take a breath in.

 _Come on, Harry,_ Severus chanted to himself. He didn't want to step in, but it didn't look like either of them were going to cave. It wasn't fair really, he realized, Minerva was clearly rooting for her ex-Gryffindor and now he was cheering for that same insufferable handsome teen also. He should really have been watching the blonde more closely.

Draco wiped his forehead and then raised his wand, putting all the energy he had left into this curse wordlessly. He didn't want his classmate to know what was coming but the moment he saw it leave his wand, he saw the horror on the brunette's face. Freezing at the sight of a green spell heading his way, nothing else around him was seen or heard.

 _So weak, so vulnerable…_

 _Who's Cedric? He your boyfriend?_ Don't _kill Cedric!_

 _You have to remember who you are Harry! – I know who I am, alright Hermione – Look I'm sorry…_

 _Are you coming to get me? I killed Si-Rius Black._

 _You've got to mean it Harry! She killed him!_

 _Harry Potter, finally – come to die…_

 _Sweetheart, let go! You're ready… You've been so brave sweetheart…_

"NO!" Harry shouted, his life almost flashing before his eyes.

This wasn't how it was supposed to end. He had people he wanted to save, people to speak to. There were things that hadn't been done or said. Triumphs and firsts that were never going to be experienced. A life half lived but not survived. He should have told him the truth, he should have said something sooner but it was too late. It was the end.

Pain radiated through his chest, he could feel the wind on his back as he was thrust backwards. Eyes were squeezed shut, awaiting the harsh impact onto the hardly padded performing stage. _**Thwack.**_ Harry's body hit the wooden platform skidded a meter back, his head hanging over the edge.

Draco watched on in horror before he thought quickly and aimed his wand again, " _Expelliarmus_."

Catching the piece of wood as it flew into his hands, he then walked the length of the stage to see how his friend was fearing. In the meantime, a loud round of applause erupted from the students, some hollering and others whistling at – what they believed – an outstanding performance of skill and endurance. Minerva, too, clapped her hands together with a sad smile at the close of the battle; it seemed Draco had won this time but she had no doubt there would be a round three. Severus on the other hand had already mentally cleared his schedule for the evening, thanking the Wizarding Gods that it was a Friday and the teen's presence wouldn't be missed that night.

"Well done, Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter," He pointed with his wand at the still unmoving body to recognize the teen's efforts, "As you can tell, dueling can be dangerous but also fun. If you were to ask either of these students how they felt, you might just be surprised at their answers. However, that concludes the introductory session, those of you who wish to partake in this class will find a notice up on your common room notice board with further instructions."

There were loud clusters of chatter as some students stayed behind and others left. Draco was crouched down on the stage carefully holding the back of his friends head as he dragged him back onto the platform properly. Hermione was quick to mingle her way through the departing crowd and over to her friend, a wince was her reaction when she saw him knocked out cold but carefully ran her hand over his forehead as her newest Slytherin friend crossed his legs and sat with his classmate.

"He's going to be sore when he comes to." Draco muttered, feeling guilty as all hell.

"You weren't to know. In a duel like that it was only going to be a matter of time." The Ravenclaw offered him a small smile before they were both distracted.

"Oi, Hermione let's go. This thing is over." Ron had somehow found her as everyone was leaving and had his hand leaning on Seamus as he stood on the tips of his toes.

"You can't be serious, Ron. Harry's hurt." She glanced over her shoulder where the red head was and frowned at him.

"He'll be fine! Let's go now so we can work on this project for Transfiguration."

Gritting her teeth, Hermione decided this wasn't a battle she would face whilst standing in the middle of a quarter of the school listening. Harry was still her friend and she wasn't going to just up and leave because her boyfriend had a grudge. He wasn't particularly making it hard for her mind to be made up, but she bit her cheek to save herself from saying something that would later be regretted.

" _You can go, I don't want another fight."_ Draco offered, but realized he should have remained silent.

"You're just as bad as he is." Glaring at the blonde, his eyes widened and then looked down into his lap.

"How is he, Miss. Granger?" The Headmistress raised a hand and put it on Hermione's shoulder for a moment, announcing her arrival.

"Well, he's out to it right now, but I think – " She stopped when a groan alerted her that he was waking and she put her hand back on his forehead.

Severus could see the small group surrounding his Slytherin, the _unmoving_ student, but had been cornered by some of the seventh year students who were wanting to know more about the program he was planning. He could have told them to go away at this point, but he knew they would be back later on with these questions; plus, Harry had a small gathering of concerned friends with the Headmistress so knew he would be looked after. This didn't stop him from worrying however.

Harry groaned, moving his head from one side to the other slowly, then rolled over so he was laying sideways. He was almost curled up around Draco, unaware of his position, as Hermione started fussing over him. The pain in his head throbbed like a bludger hitting each time and he was able to move a hand to cover the light from the room.

" _My head…"_

"You _did_ fall pretty hard, Harry. Why don't we take you to see Madame Pomfrey? You'll be right as rain in a moment."

" _No… Snape…_ " Harry said softly, not realizing the Headmistress was standing so close.

"Professor Snape is otherwise engaged. Come along Potter, the hospital wing is where you should be right now."

He blanched at the Scottish accent and hide his face completely with his hand. A hand was combing his hair but he could tell it wasn't the man he needed, rather a softer hand and a lot smaller than he was used to.

Movement from the corner of the Defence Professor's eye caught his attention as he saw his other Slytherin and the Ravenclaw Witch helping Harry up. His eyes were shut tightly and he moved slowly from the room, looking confused and disorientated all the while his head hanging forward. He could image the pain radiating down his neck, the teen had hit the deck hard after that spell. Severus sighed to himself tiredly, attempting to focus on the pushy students in front of him to distract the moments after Harry left his sight.

"I suggest you go straight to bed, Potter. You've taken a solid knock to that head of yours so you will feel tender in the next few hours. A good rest and you'll be right by the morning, no gallivanting off on adventures or flying on that death stick of yours over the weekend." Madame Pomfrey had both hands on her hips as the silent Slytherin looked down at his shoes before walking off.

" _Did she just call our brooms 'death sticks'?"_ Draco whispered disbelieved when she disappeared.

"I guess not everyone is a fan." Harry grumbled, still tasting the foul aftertaste of the potion, which didn't agree with the Mandrake leaf.

"What can you expect? How many times have you been in here from Quidditch? Quite frankly, she must _hate_ every game that's played, not to mention the various practices she must have to deal with." Hermione chipped in, not making either Slytherin feel any better.

"So, what are you going to do?" Draco asked.

"What's he going to do? Go to bed of course." Hermione huffed, helping Harry stand.

"You know that's not what I meant." The blonde defended.

"She knows Harry far too well, he'd often try and sneak out, injured or not. I was hoping you'd be more strict with him, I'm a little disappointed."

" _What?"_

Harry grumbled and blocked the two bickering friends out as he walked stiffly towards the Dungeons. At one point, he slipped out of Hermione's grasp and walked on ahead, the two still going at each other. He was halfway down the stairs when the echoing of footsteps were heard and his housemate caught up to him, his cheeks flushed and looking guilty. The new Slytherin didn't want to deal with any of it, so he didn't comment and did what he'd been told to do – sleep and hopefully feel better.

When he had crawled into bed, Draco was sitting at the end of his own and inspecting the tip of his wand.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" The brunette asked tiredly.

"For this… If I had of known – "

"It happened, I'm not mad."

"Okay, well – "

"I'm tired, Draco. We can talk about this later." Harry mumbled, the blonde didn't even really hear entirely what was said, instead he listened as his friends breathing evened out as he fell asleep.

 **. . .**

It was only an hour after the dueling club when Severus heard a knock at his door before it swung open. Looking up from his desk, he saw a confused mop of dark brown hair poking its way into the room before the teen it belonged to tentatively stepped into the room. He refrained from smiling even though he was pleased to see Harry and stood, coming over to shut the door behind him.

"I am surprised to see you. Did Madame Pomfrey not tell you to rest?" Severus asked curiously.

"She did, but… I woke feeling… strange." Harry admitted, his eyes lingering on the outer robe that was draped over the back of the couch.

"Strange how?"

"Like I should have been elsewhere… I woke up and wanted to be here instead. Plus, it's warmer in here." Actually, he had woken and felt like he _needed_ to be here, regardless of what happened previously in this room.

"I cannot argue with that." The older Wizard commented, bringing a hand up to rest on the nape of his students neck.

Sighing, the cool hand felt wonderful on his strained muscles that held his head up and his eyes slowly shut when those same fingers started massaging and lightly pinching the area.

"If you are still tired, then you may rest on the couch whilst I mark. I will wake you when it is time for dinner, I doubt the measly piece of lunch you had is helping your recovery." Severus commented dryly, noticing how little his Slytherin was heading as of late.

"You've been watching me?" Harry's tone was distant and tired.

"I already told you this much, Harry. I see everything." With his slightly taller advantage, he bent and whispered into the teens ear which caused a chill through the smaller body.

He gained no response in return as he led the boy over to his couch. It wasn't the most comfortable piece of furniture Severus ever had the pleasure of sitting on but it did the trick, his wing backed armchair was far superior in that regard but not good for sleeping on. His hand still on the back of the younger Wizards neck, he lightly pushed him down and cradled the head once a cushion was in position.

"Sleep now, we will talk later." He crouched the best he could in front of the couch and with his thumb of the hand still touching the nape, managed to stroke the defined jaw once, "Remember you are safe here."

The teen must have been more dazed and adrift than he initially anticipated as he received no response once again. He saw tired green eyes close quickly after that, a deep sigh followed and then the body he still had a hand on when limp within seconds. Surprised and shaking his head at the antics from both of them, he went in search of a blanket to make the teen more comfortable.

He could only imagine what went through his head the moment the green spell lit from Draco's wand. Desperately wanting to know but knowing he couldn't, he draped the black blanket carefully over his student before going back to his marking that seemed to be mounting. It certainly wasn't going to be an easy weekend getting this all done and ready for his students when the new week started and he wondered if the idea of retiring could be real option for him at the end of the year like he'd mentioned.

In the upper levels of the castle however, drama was brewing outside the Ravenclaw common room. Luna was standing safely aside as Hermione's anger grew steadily. Of course, she knew how this was going to end and had done so for quite some time now. It was a shame that it was turning sour, at the start she could see why Ron had taken to Hermione, less so with the vice versa but who was she to judge the odd relationship.

"I can't believe how stubborn you are being about this! Harry is my friend, just like Draco but you're acting like a child over it all."

" _Malfoy?_ How can you be friends with that murderous, treacherous and slimey git! He hurt you, the whole fucking family did and you're just going to ignore it? How about you look at your arm as a reminder of what they did!" Spittle had started to gather and erupted throughout the speech, much to Hermione's distain.

"You don't think I do look at it? Everyday I have to see this, not _you_ , but _me_! How dare you tell me what to feel and how to act. I am my own person and you don't own me, Ron! You're being selfish and stubborn about everything."

"Well excuse me for caring about my girlfriend. How dare I stick up for her and make sure she's okay! I didn't realize I was being such a bad boyfriend."

"Blimey… Ron, you aren't being a bad boyfriend but you're certainly trying to control things that aren't yours to control! You can't tell me who I can talk to or who I'm friends with, that's not right. I will never allow you to tell me what to do when there is no reasoning behind it. You don't like Draco? Then that's fine, you don't have to be around him. You think Harry betrayed you by being resorted into Slytherin? You don't have the right to tell him he's wrong or that he did a bad thing. I was sorted into Ravenclaw, but you make a bigger deal about your best friend being a Slytherin now. You're so confusing!" Hermione pinched her nose, looking up at the ceiling.

"Hermione, I love you! I just want you to be happy."

"Happy? You're making me _miserable!_ " She shouted, her voice finally showing her anger, "You're making me feel self-conscious, doubting my own thoughts; you make me feel like I have to choose between you and my friends. A boyfriend should be an enabler, not _just_ a taker and I feel like you're draining me."

"What are you saying?" Ron finally sounded like he was wounded by the comments and Hermione lost all her ability to be angry in that moment.

She glanced at the wall to her right, feeling the weight of her decision pressing heavily on her shoulders. It had been a long time coming she supposed, even before Christmas, probably before that too. Maybe it had been the resorting ceremony at the beginning of the year that really made the biggest impact on how their relationship was panning out. _I know I have to do this, if not for me then my friends too. Draco and Harry have been through so much and… and I know Ron lost Fred and his family was really torn about it all. I was too…_

"I think it's time we went our separate ways." Hermione felt the tears building in her eyes and Luna stepped forward, taking her hand gently in support.

"That's it? Just like that? After _everything_ we've been through and you're just going to walk away. I… I fucking apparated to hell and back for you, Hermione. _For you!_ Not Harry, but for _you_!"

"Please don't guilt me like that, Ron. Harry and I went through stuff too. Do you think I wanted to leave your memory in that forest? Do you think that I wanted the three of us to be split up? I didn't even know if I would see you again but you just decided that you'd had enough of this fight."

"I wasn't in my right mind then."

"It was a war and you ran away."

"I'm sorry."

"I am too, but it's done. I can't be with you anymore, Ron." There, she'd said it and out in the open.

True to his Gryffindor nature however, he was about to sent her his rebuttal but there was no point in wasting time now because she knew this was the right decision. They were no longer suited and she was moving forward; actually, having Luna there with her provided more support than she ever realized but it wasn't as though they'd planned it this way. The two of them just happened to be walking into the common room when Ron had been outside waiting for her to return.

They turned and rushed into the common room after that, within the safety of the calm blue walls, Hermione finally let her guard down a little and Luna pulled her into an awkward hug to soothe her. That was how much things had changed, gone were the days where _Looney Luna_ was being ridiculed, Hermione had a lot of respect for the blonde Witch and felt incredibly guilty at her own actions the past few years. She didn't deserve to be friends with a Witch this open hearted but in this moment it was all she wanted, plus Harry but he was sleeping.

 _He better be,_ she thought suddenly, putting her own grief aside to think about her best friend.

Another knock at Severus's door and he rolled his eyes, leaning back in the chair for a moment before pulling the door open. Minerva was standing there looking like she could feel the chill so he let her in promptly to keep the warmth within the living area and not the hallway. Remembering he had Harry laying on his couch, he spared a glance in that direction before the Headmistress had any ideas of making herself comfortable and asked what he could do for her.

"I thought we could discuss how the club went today, it seemed to have inspired and motivated a lot of students and the halls are a buzz with the demonstration." She smiled warmly at him and he nodded, indicating towards the dining table where he was going to summon them some tea.

"Oh, I did not realize you had company." Her tone was unimpressed.

Severus stopped as he went to pass the back of the couch and looked down at his Slytherin who appeared to be sleeping peacefully, "Ah yes, he came to see me after having had a rest but was plagued by unpleasant memories, as you can imagine."

At this he put his hand on the teen's shoulder and shook him gently but received no response aside from the twitch of his brow. The Headmistress seemed to not be looking at that moment and so he left the teen be and set up a tea station for them both at his dining table.

"I wish you would be more careful, Severus. Having tasked you with Potter's recovery, I did not expect to see such… such an attachment forming between the two of you."

"I am quite capable to separating his recovery from being his Professor."

"And what of Potter? He will be departing in six months and what of it then? You were never supposed to be there forever but only to aid him in his recovery. If today is any example he does not seem like he has made much progress, but please tell me I am wrong."

Severus was seething but also felt a strange sense of déjà vu, he had only just had this conversation with Harry about what would happen post graduation. Minerva was the closest thing to a mentor or friend aside from Harry, Hermione Granger was his Slytherin's best friend. Two Witches that cared deeply for both of them, cut from different cloths and yet distinctly similar.

 _Gryffindors_ , he lamented quietly.

"Minerva, you cannot expect him to be cured overnight. There was always going to be _some_ level of attachment and certainly a large element of trust when working with him but I can assure you there is nothing more to add."

"And yet there he lays." Minerva pointed out rather bluntly.

"You need to trust my judgment, Minerva. There is a lot more going on that just what happened during the war, he needs guidance in what direction he will take post Hogwarts. I will not, however, dredge up everything we have spoken about because it is not my place to speak on his behalf. Not this time. I quite clearly stated, that should a matter be of important consequence regarding his well being and mental health, I would inform you. This has not changed." At this Severus poured them both a cup of steaming chamomile tea, sliding a cup and saucer towards her as way of saying that the conversation was done for now.

"I shall have to take your word for it. For now, you know my thoughts and position on the matter and trust that you do not abuse this."

"Agreed."

"And for _your_ sake, Severus, he better find a way into his _own_ common room this evening."

From then, the two spoke about where they would go forward with the club, the Headmistress adding a few tidbits that had him thinking. By the time they were done, it was time for dinner and she excused herself by walking towards Severus's fire. Taking a handful of flue powder, she took one last glance at the man then down to the student sleeping soundly before disappearing into the green flames. Once he was sure she was gone, he walked towards his student, propping himself against the back of the couch with both hands. Staring straight at the fire, he took a moment.

"How much of that did you hear?" He asked warily.

"All of it."

Severus closed his eyes and bent his head forward in frustration. He didn't want the teen to feel like he was being singled out by the older Witch and hoped that he would understand the position Severus was in. To say he hadn't gained a strong attachment to Harry was a huge lie, he was in fact rather comfortable with the idea of their friendship now, regardless of how it would have looked to the outside world. He just hoped what had just been said didn't make Harry want to get up and leave him.

They had to go and face reality however and to remind him of why this was the case, Harry's stomach protested loudly in the silent room.

 **. . .**

Trudging into the hall slowly, trailing his Professor, Harry took a deep breath as he sought out Draco and slumped down into the seat next to him. He looked dog tired, but reached for food regardless as he had been instructed rather strictly to do so by his Professor. Draco was watching him with interest but he shook his head and refused to give the blonde any information. He just didn't want to talk about it at all.

"Ugh, what does _she_ want?" Pansy uttered in disgust.

"Hello, Harry." The dreamy voice made Harry turn over his shoulder and smile at Luna.

"Hey, what's up?" He asked, swallowing some juice.

She hesitated for a moment, casting her eyes over the rest of Slytherin house that were immediately around them.

"He asked a question, weirdo." Pansy spat.

"Shut your mouth, slag." Draco retorted immediately, surprising a few of them with Harry included.

Not wanting to cause more of a scene, Harry stood and took Lunas elbow. Directing them to the end of the hall, they stood in the doorway giving her his full attention. He didn't like the strange expression she wore and it looked like there was something on her mind.

"What's wrong, Luna? You don't usually hesitate like that. I'm sorry about Pansy too, she was way out of line."

"It's all fine, Harry. I just thought you should know that Hermione is very upset right now. She had a fight with Ron a few hours ago and is refusing to come out of the common room in case she gets cornered by him."

"What do you mean? What happened?" He balled his fists and looked angry.

"I'm not sure I should be the one to tell you, Harry. It might be better coming from her, I know you two are very close and she could use a shoulder to cry on right now."

"What's the riddle today?"

"The answer is, _time_. But wait," She pulled out her wand and tapped his Slytherin robes a few times, changing the green to blue, "That's better. It's the last door on the left."

He looked down at himself and gave a small smile before getting serious, "Thank you, Luna."

Harry took the knocker and listened carefully to the riddle, if he hadn't of asked for the answer there was no way he would have been granted entry into the common room. He now understood why it took a smart student to become a Ravenclaw. He went inside and saw a couple of lower level students but didn't waver in his journey and took the stairs, he would have liked to have taken them two at a time but the throbbing in his head had started on the journey towards the common room.

Hermione looked at the door skeptically, wondering who on earth would be knocking on the senior girls' dormitory door. Standing slowly, she made her way over and opened it only to find her best friend standing there in Ravenclaw robes.

"Harry?"

"The one and only." He nodded.

"W-What are you doing here? _How_ did you get in?"

"Luna." He gave her a lopsided grin then noticed she was in her pajamas.

"Oh… okay, come in I guess." She sniffed and wiped her nose along her wrist as she pulled it open to let him in.

"Well, this feels weird." He commented, standing in the room that had a horrendous female smell to it.

"Don't tell me this is the first time you've entered a female dorm?" She laughed quietly through the sniffly tears that caught in her throat and he turned to look at her.

"It is actually, I won't make it a habit." He pulled a face but then opened his arms and held her tightly.

"Did she tell you?"

"All she said was that you were upset, not what was wrong. I can tell for myself that something has happened and I bet I know what." He pulled away and looked into her eyes carefully, they were red and puffy.

"I broke up with Ron. I just couldn't do it any more." She sighed, taking his wrist and pulling him towards her bed.

The whole situation made him a little uncomfortable but he sat anyway, trying to keep his focus on his friend and not looking about the room. The Witch climbed into bed and pulled the covers over her legs, allowing him to bring his own feet up once he kicked off his shoes and sit cross legged in front of her. Leaning against the post, he regarded her sadly.

"I think you've made the right decision, but how do _you_ feel about it?"

"Things had to change but you know him just as well as I do that it takes a while for the stubbornness to disappear for him to see reason. I wasn't willing to wait that long. Plus, his attitude just isn't what I thought it would be."

"Luna said you didn't want to leave for dinner."

"I wouldn't have put it past him to wait for me, he's been doing it for the past wee while and it started to get frustrating. It's not a healthy reason why he's always there, he just doesn't want me around you or Draco."

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked.

"I'd have to say that I checked out emotionally a while ago. I know I look kind of ugly right now but I should be okay in a few days."

"I'll always be here for you, okay?"

"I know, Harry. You're the bestest friend I could ever have hoped for. You'll give me some space too, I know it."

"Whatever you need. I'll get it." His passion was evident.

"Ice cream?" She had her head down as she said it, but lifted slightly to give him a smirk.

"That's what girls do, don't they?"

"Oh, Harry you have so much to learn." She giggled, wiping her nose again and smiling.

"I'm not entirely sure I want to." He huffed lazily, swinging his feet to the floor for his shoes.

She watched him knowingly and got out of bed again, finding her jeans and throwing them onto the bed. He saw she was going to get changed, so excused himself and slipped out into the staircase. Putting a hand over his heart, he sneezed at the lingering scent of perfume and shuddered at the floral tones he could smell. It never occurred to him until now that he found women's perfumes to be overbearing and strong, he definitely preferred the more earthy and musk type scents to those than the girls covered themselves in. Even the Slytherin common room, with its beach and coconut scent was more appealing.

He waited outside until she was ready and then they descended the stairs. Hermione didn't want to face the great hall right now so he linked their arms and pushed her in the direction of the kitchens. The elves were all go as they sent platter after platter of sweet desserts upstairs, so they squeezed past a large cake and plonked themselves down onto the benches.

"So, how was your first experience in a female dorm?" She smiled sweetly at him despite her red eyes and he slouched.

"I'd be happy never to go back into one." He mused.

"Why? Is this because you find men attractive?" She said without blinking and he choked on the cold dairy sliding down his throat, "I mean it's not any surprise really."

"Blimey, Hermione." He coughed, trying to dislodge the ice cream lump.

Cringing, he felt the telltale signs of a brain freeze coming along and cradled his head as it started to pierce the front of his forehead. What lacked in those few moments of silence was an apology and he glanced up at her through his fingers to see her stone faced and licking her spoon.

"You think I'm gay?" He said shortly and she eyed him confidently.

"Aren't you? Don't take it the wrong way, Harry. I love you, _dearly_ , but I think you've been struggling for a little while with this."

He remained quiet, not wanting to say a word. This conversation had come up not long ago over Christmas where his Professor had acted rather the same way, entirely not bothered by the fact that he could possibly like males. Merlin, he'd kissed the man twice out of both desperation and curiosity which gave him more right to be angry but it had never come.

"I don't know what you want me to say." He responded finally, feeling strange to be speaking about it at all when she had just broken up with Ron.

"Just tell me anything, _everything_. It would be good to have a distraction for now."

"You don't find this weird?" He asked skeptically.

"Having a gay best friend is basically what all girls aspire to have and if they tell you otherwise, they're lying. Besides, they're like the forbidden fruit, a unicorn. They're the most desirable and rare as all hell." She beamed, taking another bowl of ice cream that was lined up next to her.

"Why are you so sure that I am anyway?"

"Well, you sort of mentioned something earlier in the year. It might have been out of context but Draco and I both heard it. You said your preferences had changed, I think we were talking about Ginny at the time."

"Oh." He sounded rather dejected but Hermione wouldn't have it.

"You still don't know, do you?"

"It's not like there's any guys here that'll just turn around and say, _yeah sure Harry, kiss me to see if you're gay or not_." He deadpanned her and she snickered.

"I know of two people."

"Don't even try setting me up, Hermione."

"So… is that you confirming it?"

"Why does it matter so much? There are other things I should be focusing on right now rather than who I'm making out with, and you do as well." He stated blankly to which gave Hermione the giggles.

She became serious for a moment however, "You need to realize that it's still a part of who you are. It may not seem important right now, but if you're feeling confused and don't know who you are then it's not going to make the rest of the year any better for you."

Feeling like he was being backed into a corner over this, he played with the melting ice cream in his bowl and then sighed heavily.

"I don't know, honestly. I mean, girls are still pretty but then… I guess guys smell better." He admitted.

"You _are_ allowed to like both. I believe they call that being bisexual." She explained and he nodded distantly, "There isn't a guy at school that's caught your eye?"

"Not really." He lied.

"Look, I wouldn't stress over it. Even if you just accept it to yourself that you like both, no one is going to judge you for that." She wasn't going to pressure him but a little guidance wasn't going to hurt him.

He nodded mutely after that but his attention was taken by Hermione who grumbled and pushed her bowl away.

"Strawberry and Mandrake do not make a good ice cream combination." She declared and Harry had to agree with her.

Excusing himself from dinner, Severus set about heading back to his rooms to relax and get away from the noisy students. When he descended the stairs, he could hear light chatter from a female and when he turned a corner he saw Harry walking towards him, hanging off the Ravenclaw Witch. His eye twitched at the sight but he put that more down to the fact that his _Slytherin_ adorned _Ravenclaw_ robes.

"Uh."

"Oh, I bet you two have things to talk about… I'll be fine going back up myself." Hermione said quietly but didn't move when she saw Harry's hesitation.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, then had a thought, "If it wouldn't be too much trouble… You couldn't meet me tomorrow morning could you? I don't want to deal with him that early in the morning."

"Of course. I'll be there."

She turned to hug him, then pressed a kiss to his cheek before spinning around and wandering quietly passed her Defence Professor who clearly was trying not to watch. Harry watched her disappear and waited for the older Wizard to reach him before he joined the man. Feeling weird all of a sudden, he risked a glance at his Head of House only to find no expression at all and figured whatever was going on inside his chest was only a reaction from the conversation he'd had with Hermione.

Being let into the room, Harry bit his lip and approached the couch. He paused before sitting, seeing the man coming towards him and sitting with a stern look on his face.

"What's that look for?" He asked, feeling like he was about to be told off.

"Your robes." Severus commented plainly, cocking an eyebrow and looking at the teens tie.

"My what?" Harry looked down at saw the blue instead of green, "Oh…" Unsure what to do he shrugged and played with his bottom lip more.

Pulling out his wand and waving it towards his Slytherin, he changed the uniform back and immediately felt better. It didn't suit the teen to be wearing blue robes, he definitely preferred the green. Even though he wanted to ask about what brought this on, he refrained and moved onto something more serious.

"That looks _much_ better. Now, today… Your duel with Draco went very well. Though I must ask what changed your mind, it certainly seemed as though our chat had done nothing."

Harry could hear the disappointment, "No, I came because of you, sir. I thought that after everything you had done to help me over the years and even now, that if I didn't show up it would be a bit insulting. I hadn't expected to duel, that's not why I came."

"So then why did you agree to it?"

"I suppose part of me wanted to prove that I wasn't weak. Another part just wanted to show you that I could."

"Harry…" Severus took a deep breath and sighed, "As noble and complimentary as your comments are, you must remember that it is not _me_ you should be trying to impress. All of this, what is happening inside and out, needs to be something that you are doing for _yourself_."

"I did… partially."

"Focus on yourself."

"Okay… I will." Harry frowned and looked into his lap as he sat solemnly.

"What happened at the end of the duel? It appeared as though you froze?"

Harry huffed darkly, "I'm not sure what else I expected to happen. I hadn't even thought about that occurring when I jumped onto the stage. Actually… I'm not even sure what happened after that."

"You do not remember being hit by the curse?" Severus narrowed his eyes.

"I don't think so… A lot of things appeared in front of me, mainly people and them talking to me. Obviously the usual with You-Know-Who, Bellatrix, my mother… Cedric's death and Sirius also. Just reliving memories."

"What did that feel like to you, aside from the obvious pain."

The younger Wizard shuddered, remembering _exactly_ how he'd felt as he flew backwards across the stage. The blanket he'd been draped in prior to dinner was folded over the back of the couch and he twisted carefully to bring it closer, he was going to wrap himself up regardless of what the man was going to say to him. The Slytherin Head of House noticed why this was occurring but did nothing to stop it, he wanted to wrap an arm around those thin shoulders but Minerva's silent warning had made him think twice about their physical contact.

"I got this overwhelming dread and emptiness that took over. I can remember thinking that there were things I still wanted to do, people I wanted to talk to – I wasn't ready to die. It took me right back to the times where I could have been killed and… Unlike meeting You-Know-Who to die in the end, this time I didn't want it to happen."

Severus nodded, itching to comfort Harry in any way he could. Things had definitely changed and it seemed that his Slytherin was learning that he still had his whole life ahead of him, that he wasn't supposed to just quit after everything that had happened. Despite the gory memories, this was a step in the right direction. All was not lost it seemed, the Headmistress could suck on a lemon drop if she thought there had been no progress.

Unable to hold back any longer, Severus slid over and wrapped both hands around his student as they both sat sideways. The action took Harry by surprise and he gasped but that was only for a moment when he found a comfortable spot in the mans robes where he could sit his head and enjoy the contact.

"You are making progress, Harry. This is pleasing news indeed."

"Is it?" Harry was confused but wished he'd kept his mouth shut when the man moved back a little so they could look at each other.

"At the beginning of the year, you would not have said that. Whether you were in your right mind or not, your actions made it very clear you wanted out of this life but look at you now. You have just admitted that there are things you still want to achieve and I assume there are goals you have in the back of your mind. It is something to be celebrated."

"Oh…" Harry couldn't help but let a small smile pull at his mouth, seeing the warmth in his Professor's eyes, how could he not be happy with this.

Severus's breath hitched at the sight of the beautiful smile; it was still a rarity to see such a look on the teen's face and he felt his resolve to keep things distanced melting away. Instead, he buried Harry's face into his robes where they sat, just enjoying the closeness.

By no means cured, this was a direction that would prove beneficial for them both.

 _ **. . .**_

 _ **Hmm?**_


	34. Chapter 34

**.**

 _ **Sorry for the lack of updating… I've been quite ill and haven't been able to find the time to write between shoving my head into a bucket and sleeping. Ron and Hermione had to happen, sorry, but it's true. I know people say that their relationship is understated but I've never really understood it.**_

 _ **So, having stopped vomitting up my will to live, I have also overcome my writers block and produced this monster length chapter.**_

 _ **. . .**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Yeah, I understand but there always has to be a bad guy, right? I suppose in a way she's worried about Severus too and how this might affect him. And yes, there was a reason for me putting Hermione and Harry in that position, but we all know she likes to stick her nose into things.**_

 **#Droomvlucht:**

 _ **Yuss! You've caught up, but I'm really sorry you had to wait for an update! :3**_

 **#RedRin444:**

 _ **Oh, I'm desperate for it also but the time has to be right. As another reader (#i-am-siriusly-sherlocked) mentioned, the situation needs to be set up correctly and can't just be something that suddenly happens. There's going to be a section coming up that are from Severus's point of view and I feel that needs to come first. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?**_

 _ **. . .**_

Harry _had_ made it back to the Slytherin common room, much to Severus's relief. However; the younger Wizard felt dreadful waking up the next morning and grumbled to himself the whole way towards Ravenclaw tower. Not seeing Hermione, he pulled out his wand and sent her a message via Patronus. He didn't have to wait long and soon enough an equally tired looking Ravenclaw emerged; the red puffy eyes telling Harry all he needed to know.

"It's pancake day, _that_ should cheer you up." He smiled, putting an arm around her shoulder.

"Just what I'm feeling like too." She brightened a little but he could tell she was still tired.

They remained silent on their trek down to the main level of the castle and the Slytherin pulled his friend tighter as they entered the hall so she didn't get any ideas of trying to sneak off to the Ravenclaw table. He was going to be keeping a close eye on his best friend and knew that Draco would help him also; however, the blonde was absent currently so he sat them both down with Blaise and Pansy. Safety in numbers he rationalised.

Giving a short glare towards Pansy, he saw an odd expression on her usually scowling face and looked between the two Witches. Hermione was trying to look down but it was clear the Slytherin Witch could see something was wrong. Whilst Harry didn't usually get along all that well with Pansy, discounting the Malfoy Christmas ball, he could see a silent vow being made in the bright blue eyes. Something that only happened between females.

Harry looked around and immediately found Ron and the other boys; he looked tired but apart from that he seemed to be getting over Hermione relatively well. This made him angry, after all that time together and he had the nerve not to look upset. Okay, so Harry didn't really know how relationships worked, nor how it felt to break up with someone whom you loved but he imagined it was a painful process. His only real experience was watching Ginny and Dean Thomas fighting but that seemed like an extreme case to him.

Putting a hand on Hermione's back, he rubbed it gently and watched as she went about eating. He knew he too should eat something but his mind was on other matters rather than delicious fluffy pancakes.

"Morning." Draco announced, sitting next to Blaise.

There was a soft round of greetings from the others but when he saw Hermione's face he was instantly enraged. He glanced at Harry who nodded but then put his finger over both lips to silence the blonde; an argument this early in the morning wasn't what anyone needed at this point. He also didn't think it would be fair on his best friend if other people started making the fight about them rather than supporting her. It seemed like the best idea to talk about anything else other than what was going on in her love life.

When Harry turned back to the empty plate in front of him, the vision changed and he heard the distant sound of panting. Blinking and looking between his friends, he placed both hands on the table, unable to focus properly.

"Harry?" Hermione felt him lean towards he and noticed the odd expression.

 _[… He growled and his head swung around as he caught the scent of a familiar individual that was threatening the safety of his friend…]_

"Hey, cut it out." She slapped him gently in the back of the head and the room came back into focus.

"Another one?" Draco leaned across the table, seeing movement within the green pupils.

"They're getting more frequent but I'm glad they don't last very long." Finding himself taking deep breaths, he finally focussed enough to help himself to breakfast.

" _How many have you had?_ " Hermione whispered.

" _Two? Three? Each feels stronger than the last_."

" _Let's talk about this after."_

He nodded and looking up to Draco he nodded also.

 **. . .**

"Where should we do this?" Draco asked, grumbling that he had to carry some books with him.

"It's a relatively nice day, why don't we grab some fresh air." Hermione commented, seeing the blue sky even though the weather was still cold.

"Was all this necessary?" Harry was carrying blankets.

"Of course. We've been meditating in the room of requirement but what if we're forest animals? Well, most animals live in some kind of wilderness… But this could help us try and recognise what we are. Harry, you keep mentioning that you can smell things much clearer with trees and Draco you said something similar. I haven't had any hallucinations yet but it's still early days for me." The two Slytherin's shared a relieved expression, the Witch was well and truly in her encyclopaedic element.

"I hope you're not intending on sitting in the forest." The brunette suddenly realised they were walking across the bridge.

"Of course not, Harry. I thought we could take over the stone circle. It's close to the forest but far enough away to not affect you." She had observed him being okay from a distance, and the stones provided a good barrier.

"Why the stones exactly? Anyone could walk past." Draco piped up.

"Well, when I was reading _Hogwarts: A History_ , it mentioned that the four founders of Hogwarts stumbled across this place and felt a certain magical presence." They reached the circle and she sat down, going about setting up, "I thought it had good symmetry, the stones have a great historical importance and we could really use all the help we could get."

Shrugging, both males could understand the reasoning and as Harry handed out the blankets he looked off into the distance, seeing the forest. A skip in his heartbeat reminded him of the Malfoy manor but he shook himself from those thoughts and took a seat, the three of them forming their own circle.

"Besides, I wouldn't worry about people disturbing us. It's not a Hogsmede weekend and most of the stones shelter us. Just focus on your energies and remember what we've discussed about the process." She continued.

"Didn't you do something similar when we were at home, Harry?" Draco asked curiously, sitting upright with his legs crossed.

"Yeah, but Professor Snape wasn't entirely happy about it. I was focussing on the natural flow of my magical current rather than meditating; although it _had_ started off that way."

"Did you manage to see it?" Hermione cracked an eye open, her hands palm down on her crossed knees.

"No, but I felt heightened. It was quite a cool experience but it's dangerous if you don't know how to control and enhance it. I think that's why _someone_ got upset."

"You _did_ pass out." Draco added.

"Why don't we focus on this right now, hmm?" Harry snapped but when they all finally closed their eyes a peaceful silence fell upon them.

Hermione had been correct, there wasn't anyone out here this morning and no reason for anyone to be around. In the quiet, Harry could focus on the immediate sounds around him. Remembering that he was supposed to solely focus on his breathing, he straightened his back and relaxed his body. Breathing as though he were on autopilot, he embraced the natural silence he was sitting in, this felt like a safe place with friends that he trusted.

Draco was having a hard time letting his mind settle, he wanted to desperately know what had happened to the Ravenclaw sitting by him with a few ideas popping into his head. His breathing felt forced as he attempted to control it to a level where it seemed natural. After this he tried listening to the noises around him. Visualising the blades of grass moving with the breeze, then the air itself, how it curled around him playfully before moving on.

Much like Draco, Hermione was struggling to find peace in the environment; her head felt like a mess and for her this session wasn't an attempt to tap into her magical abilities but more reshuffling her thoughts and priorities. As hard as she tried to focus on positive emotions, she couldn't help but feel guilt and sadness clinging onto her heart. It _did_ hurt to be letting go of Ron, they had shared many things together and the typical _firsts_ that teenagers were likely to dabble with. Yes, she was talking about sexual partners; she had never so much as kissed another man in her years before Ron even though Viktor had been a great temptation.

Had doubt been in her mind the whole time? She couldn't ever remember feeling that their more intimate moments had been anything wildly spectacular… Frowning, the images of them together floated through her mind like a slow movie, enabling her to reflect on the relationship they had shared together. Some were light stabs in the heart whilst others provoked no emotion and the longer this went on the calmer she began to feel.

Harry let his mind wander, he could hear the rustling of trees and creaking of trunks in the distance but this did not scare him or put his anxiety into super drive. He couldn't explain the emotion that was evident as he let the sounds fill both ears. Each new sound, be it a snapping twig or bushes rustling in a different location, caused his ears to twitch, as if they were adjusting to take in the sound.

 _[… Dirt beneath his paws felt cold, more so than the air…]_

Surprised, Harry tensed his arms just before his fingers spasmed lightly at the vision. Paws, that was something different; he hadn't dreamt or seen paws before. He immediately knew that this was his Animagi taking form and decided to concentrate on that feeling he'd experienced just prior.

Draco had finally settled into a resting pose, letting his energy gather and fill him internally. He had full concentration until he heard a small gasp from his left where Harry was sitting but it wasn't long before he found his peace once more.

Hermione was now filtering through her anger, imagining the negative memories floating away just like a few strands of hair were doing that had come loose from the bun on her head. She knew there would be some resentment in the things leading up to recent events but what was important to her right now was making sure she had her head on straight. It was in this deep thinking that she imagined the pillar of wisdom she'd looked up to for many years and allowed her shoulders to relax.

They all heard the squawk from an owl that had flown out of the Owlery, Hermione was the only one who had tuned her hearing into the flaps of its outstretched wings and caught her stomach plummeting when she saw herself in its place. Stomach churning as it was, she was experiencing an odd state and had to open both eyes before the breakfast she'd consumed emptied into their laps.

Harry sensed the change in someone's aura though he wasn't sure who it was without cracking an eye open but that wasn't what he wanted to do. Instead he moved his hands so they were facing one another and tapped into the energy flow circulating his body. He knew he shouldn't be doing it but with his body in the height of relaxation he didn't think doing it a little bit would hurt him or the others.

Hermione felt a charge from beside her and with her eyes already open she could see that Harry was not meditating any longer. Watching his expression, it appeared peaceful as if there was no physical energy exerted to reach the magic source. Quite frankly, she found it fascinating and continued to watch, her lips parted and a smile brewing.

 _[… Paws hit the earth hard, pounding in the silent night…]_

Harry gasped and lost focus, the flow of magic stopping abruptly and causing a pain in his chest. It just so happened that in the same timeframe, Draco swayed to the side and flung his arms sideways to stop himself from toppling over. Hermione looked between them in confusion, seeing Draco's blushing cheeks and Harry's ragged breathing she wondered what in Merlin's name had just happened. It was like they'd connected themselves in some way before realising it…

Harry let himself fall backwards, his body energised far more than it had been before. Looking up at the sky, he twisted his head towards the forest again, there was an attachment he could almost touch when he looked at the trees but he didn't know what it was just yet. The thought did cross his mind that perhaps he could be prepared to enter the forest again with his Professor but after the last two days he didn't think his mind would be able to deal with it all at once.

Committing himself to asking during the week about the possibility, he took in a deep breath before hearing the girlish giggle from beside him and sat up. Draco was blushing heavily but he didn't know what for until Hermione was able to stop herself enough to speak.

"He fell asleep."

"It was relaxing, okay?" He defended, but Harry didn't laugh along with them, instead he looked into his lap in thought.

Hermione picked up on this and stopped laughing, looking at her friend worriedly. "Harry?"

"I have four paws." He replied, looking off into the forest again.

"You saw your form?" She gasped, shifting so she was closer.

"Not completely. I must be something like a dog…"

"Maybe, but didn't you say that all your visions have some association to the forest? What if you're a wolf or a bear?"

 _A wolf?_ He wondered. _Wolves and bears linger in the bloody forest, don't they?_ Grumbling he looked off towards the trees again. Yes, things had been hectic lately… Did he trust himself to go in there alone? This process seemed to be tracking along well and that last push may have very well been the forest. Hermione was with him, if anything happened to him in terms of a partial transformation he knew she'd be the best suited to help him.

"What are you thinking?" She tapped his arm, moving forward to get a feel for his expression.

"I'm wondering if I should brave it." He said in a distant voice.

Neither Hermione or Draco knew to what degree the forest haunted him so with a shrug she suggested that a walk might do him some good. The blonde was hesitant to agree but stayed silent and made sure he had easy access to his wand even though it was secured against his forearm as it always was.

 _I should really have Professor Snape with me…_

"No, I think I'll wait. Anyway, my butt is freezing sitting on this ground. I might head inside." Resolute, he stood and folded the blanket up.

"What are you going to do?" Draco asked, preparing himself to stand.

Thinking for a moment, he stopped what he was doing and glanced up at the castle. Realising that he wanted to see their Head of House, his heart skipped a beat and he reached up to drag a hand through his hair. Apart from doing homework or studying further, there wasn't really anything else he wanted to do. Stumped, he flopped back down with a frown, confusing the other two.

"I have no idea." He finally said but then found a book landing in his lap.

"Stay out a little longer, I don't want to be alone." Hermione admitted sadly.

 **. . .**

Dragging Hermione into the Great Hall for dinner had been rather futile; she had barricaded herself in the senior girls dormitory and refused to come out. So, standing outside the Ravenclaw common room with a mild case of despair, Draco and Harry went down by themselves.

"Would I be right in assuming something happened with Weasley?" The blonde asked as they descended the tower.

With a hesitant look, Harry nodded, "They broke up last night."

"That pig." Draco hissed.

"Look, just don't make a big deal out of it, okay? She may seem like she's handling it but I've seen that look in her eyes before. The best thing we can do is support but not cage her. I think part of the reason why she ended things was because Ron was being too restrictive."

"What's his problem? Hermione is a beautiful Witch, she's smart and funny; any guy would be honoured to be with her." Harry side eyed his friend with a smirk but remained silent.

In hindsight, he should have been wary about Draco's reaction to Hermione. Since their animosity had been put aside, there was every chance what happened with Ron would happen with his housemate. Did he really want to be the third wheel again? It hadn't been much fun in the past and was unlikely to improve when they wanted to do couple things.

"I didn't mean it like it sounded." The other Slytherin realised what he'd said.

"What's happening with Victoria then?" Harry decided this was a good of time as any, if Draco wanted to pursue Hermione in the future, he wasn't going to let her get hurt again.

"Oh…" The blonde looked away and shoved both hands in his pockets, completely changing his attitude.

"Look, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But just know Hermione is my best friend."

"I spoke to Professor Snape about it… The situation is complicated."

"So, she's your future wife then?"

"Well, it seemed like it at the time but now I just don't know. We actually got on really well and she was partially responsible for how drunk I ended up. Mother was furious about it, saying how irresponsible I was and Mr. Wilbert is now thinking twice about the prospects of us being together. You woudn't have even seen that side of mother, I thought she hid it pretty well."

Harry was stunned.

"Getting drunk might have just saved your life then?" Harry offered.

"You really have no idea, do you? Anyway, it doesn't matter. If we don't end up as partners then I'll have a good friend. Being sheltered from war has done her justice but it also means there are things that she doesn't understand."

 _Story of my life_ , Harry said to himself.

"In the meantime, I'll just have to hope mother doesn't arrange something else."

When they finally reached the hall, Harry spied Ron watching the door and subsequently watching them walk inside. He could feel Draco bristling next to him and stepped in front of him so he didn't do something stupid. It seemed the red head had something to say but was hesitating when they took their seats at Slytherin's table.

"What happened with Granger?" Harry got a fright when Pansy sidled up to him.

"Uh…"

"Did she ditch the flobberworm?" She purred, her eyes focussed.

"Did she, what?" He was more confused as to why Pansy was willingly striking conversation up with him than the content.

"Stay out of it, Pansy." Draco grumbled.

"Oh… I see." She looked around Harry and then glared towards Gryffindor.

"I'm warning you, _Parkinson_!" The blonde ground out.

"Easy, Draco. Shit, you're tightly wound." She sniffed.

Harry was feeling like he was missing a vital piece of information somewhere along the way but stayed silent. He would ask Draco later about it all, or maybe not at all when he shot up and left him sitting the Slytherin Witch.

With Draco gone, Harry slightly slid away from Pansy and started picking at food but soon found someone's gaze on him. Glancing over his shoulder, thinking that it was his Professor, he was surprised to see that the man wasn't even present so knew it had to be a certain Gryffindor. Adjusting his head, he whispered to the Slytherin Witch and she nodded confirmation that he was correct. Draco had disappeared and Hermione wasn't in the hall… He felt empowered by their absence to approach Ron and tell him exactly what he thought. He didn't however, that would have been something a Gryffindor would have done but he wasn't in that house any longer and there were going to be better ways of dealing with this in time.

 **. . .**

Arriving as per usual down in the Dungeons for his midweek session that, if he was honest, seemed to be less about therapy and more about just being with the older Wizard. He called out before walking towards the laboratory, not seeing the man straight away. Finding nothing, he frowned and went back out into the living area only to hear the rushing of water from the bathroom. Understanding that the man was in fact there, he flopped onto the couch and waited for his Professor to emerge. It wasn't long and he smiled over the back of the furniture.

"Good evening, Harry. You are early." Severus noted, coming over to him.

"Oh… I hadn't realized." He replied confused, seeing that he was indeed a full fifteen minutes earlier than he should have been.

"No matter. What would you like to discuss tonight?" Settling down on the couch, he leaned against the arm, propping his head up and half turning towards his Slytherin.

Harry frowned at their distance but remained where he was, with the issues going on between Hermione and Ron, there was something about the lack of physical closeness which caused an ache in the teens heart. He had once told Draco that people like them weren't supposed to get that happily ever after, they were too damaged and had baggage. But remembering how happy Hermione had once been with Ron made him wonder what it was like to be loved in that way. No, he couldn't think about those thoughts right now, if he were to indulge himself then the man would ask what was wrong and he didn't feel like delving into that right now. His heart was the last thing he needed to deal with.

"Do we have to talk about anything? I kind of enjoy just being here."

"You know that is not the reason why I asked you to come here, nor the reason I block this evening out each week."

That was true, but after their last interaction which had almost been an entire week ago, he had been thinking about different things. His Head of House had been very clear that he was supposed to be doing things on his own terms, not trying to impress anyone. But how could he say that? Professor Snape had been there for him, ever since he had arrived at Hogwarts regardless of the fact they hated each other with pure unadultered spite. Harry would admit that on some occassions he would, in fact, do something that would rile the man up – partly due to his genetic make up – but also because he wanted someone to take notice of him.

Now, it wasn't much different except the context in which it was happening. Instead of getting a reaction because he was being a nuissance, Harry wanted to prove to the man that he was strong and proficient. He wanted to gain the man's respect, to prove he wasn't a waste of space. The memory of the older Wizard expressing his disappointment over using his own spell to end his life rung clear, even now. He never wanted to experience that dispondent and distant man again, they had grown too close for that.

"I suppose." Harry agreed sullenly.

"So then, shall we progress on to future matters? For example, what your career plans might be?" Severus looked at the teen critically, seeing that something was on his mind.

"I did what you asked me to do, with the list of interests. I wasn't sure if you wanted to see it or not, but I certainly can't think of anything new that I could do with my life."

"If you would not attest to showing me, then I would very much like to read what you have written. Perhaps from this we can work together a plan, a strategy going forward. You need structure, Harry, because I can see even right at this moment your mind is else where. Do you find yourself often lacking for something to do?"

Harry thought a moment and realised that when he wasn't in class, doing homework or researching Animagi and mediating, that there wasn't much more than lazing about and sleeping. When the Animagi was done and dusted, what would be the next mission? In the first half of the school year, he'd tried to work on killing himself, wallowing in self pity and angst because he was so alone and scared that no one understood. After realising that the older Wizard understood him and wanted to help, it had definitely changed things… he actually _wanted_ to have goals. The only problem was, he didn't know how to establish them outside of what he was currently doing.

"I guess so." Harry replied, playing with the leaf in his mouth, "Should I go and get it?"

"If you would." Severus nodded and after a beat, watched as his Slytherin quickly walked out of the room.

He was hoping that through giving Harry a goal to work towards, that his wayward thinking and impulsive actions would narrow into providing enough interest to benefit his future. An idle mind, for someone like Harry Potter, was the devils best friend and if he had to deal with his student getting into trouble, it not only impacted Harry but _him_ as well. The Headmistress would look at the situation and assume his work wasn't helping the troubled teen. She was already watching them both closely as it was, he needed to give the teen some headway so he could focus on himself and work independantly.

Despite what various people said about Harry, when his mind was focussed, he could be the strongest Wizard alive. Far surpassing himself and the Headmistress, even the toughest Auror's there were. But it was being wasted, half of the school year had already passed and time was ticking. He stood by what had been said when he went to visit the very sick teen after his accident, spending most of his life dedicated to protecting the one that would eventually free him from the chains of his misdirection and guilt, he wasn't going to let that boy kill himself because times were hard.

At some point throughout his thougts, said Slytherin had come back and was now holding out the folded piece of parchment. When Harry's voice cut through the noise inside his head, Severus simply took the parchment as if he hadn't just been deep within his own mind and opened it up. The list was rather extensive and he applauded Harry on taking the task seriously; it were actions like these that would best benefit them both, seeing the dedication was refreshing, expecially when not directed at him for some horrendous trick.

"You have worked hard on this, Harry." He commented, skipping to the bottom half of the page.

"Draco helped me a lot on this… He said that you got him to do something similar."

"Indeed, I did." The older Wizard commented, before turning to look at his student, "I would not be doing my job if my students futures were not my priority."

 _There he goes with the whole job thing_ , Harry looked away and grumbled. His expression turned dark at the reminder that part of the interactions he had with his Head of House were in fact because he was paid to look out for his students. He never wanted the man to say it ever again, it hurt to much to think that he was doing it because he had to, Harry wanted the man to do it because he _wanted_ to; to see him as he was – a young man who had feelings.

The teen didn't notice it, but Severus had caught the heated gaze towards the fire but said nothing. In a way, that was his way of ensuring things didn't get too close or personal between them. If anything, he had the Headmistress to thank for reminding him of such. He knew exactly what it sounded like, but truth was, it didn't completely boil down to _having_ to look out for Harry. He wouldn't have reserved this time slot in his schedule each week, despite having meetings that concurred at that moment, because he _had_ to. He didn't drop everything in the past few weekends for Harry because he was _paid_ to; in fact he believed his Slytherin would be interested to know that teachers didn't get paid for work they did throughout the weekends. Yes, being a teacher wasn't always the best life to have.

Scanning his eyes down the list of ' _things I'm good at'_ , Severus stumbled across something he hadn't been expecting to see, "Cooking?"

"Yes."

The clipped response was another surprise but he decided to dig and uncover what the sudden change of demeanor was about. He went to open his mouth but stopped when he saw the extremely red face and decided they would most certainly speak on it.

"Do explain."

"You want me to bring this up? Now?" Harry grew skeptical, not particularly feeling like dredging up these memories.

"Now is a good of a time as any. Especially when one considers Molly Weasley to be unforgiving when people offer to help in her kitchen." Severus recalled countless ocassions at Order meetings where the Witch would constantly badge Black to get out of her road.

"When you put it like that… It wasn't in reference to that family, more the unfortunate one of my own. No, that's not right," Harry countered sarcastically, "I wasn't family to my Aunt and Uncle, I was just a pest, a free slave for them."

Severus blinked at the bitterness.

"From the moment I could coordinate my limbs and stand tall enough to cook on the stove, Aunt Petunia had me making their meals." Harry stated blankly, then added, "Not that I know if it were any good."

"Elaborate."

Harry turned his head to look at his Professor and snarled, "You saw for yourself what they did to me, don't act ignorant _now_. You know they didn't feed me, where do you think I got my amazing eating habits and malnutrition from?"

This had not been where Severus thought the night would go and immediately decided to stop where they were. What had started as something back at Malfoy Manor, he believed was still relevant now and called _red_ on the situation before it spiralled out of control. The impending rage from his student suddenly turned into confusion, because realisation occurred and he relaxed. Using the deflated reaction, Severus moved forward and put the list on his coffee table before repositioning across the couch. He didn't touch Harry in any way, but did offer him an embrace, simply by putting his arm across the back of the couch and offering himself that way.

"I'm sorry, I didn't really mean to snap at you." The small and hollow voice was a reminder that deep down Harry was still a vulnerable teenager, so he didn't get angry.

"I was not aware that it would bring up such vile memories. For that, I apologise. It was merely curiousity; see, when you tell me that you are no good at Potions, yet capable of stringing together a meal, they do not match up."

"Tell youself something enough times and you start to believe it." Harry replied.

"indeed." Severus felt the teen shift his weight towards him and took that as an invitation to place his arm around the slender shoulders from years of nalnourishment.

Harry sat there feeling numb for a little while, not wanting to speak just yet or knowing if the red card meant he couldn't talk about it at all. However, in this self reflection he realised that the man wasn't trying to hurt him and the initial sting of their prior conversation had disappeared. Instead he decided to indulge the man with some information about his childhood, one that hadn't been probed at when they were working on Occlumency together. Pulling up his right sleeve just past the wrist, before the self inflicted scars, Harry offered his hand and with the other, pointed at a faint reddish blob on his palm just in from the juncture to his thumb and index finger.

"I was seven." He started, running his finger across it, "I'd burnt the salmon that was in an oven proof frying pan and was afraid that Aunt Petunia would find out. I forgot that the handle would be hot and went to pick it up."

Severus winced, visualising a little boy reaching up to grab the searing hot metal handle and took his free hand to hold the back of Harry's, holding it up so he could look at it. Angling the hand at various intervals to get a better idea of the damage it would have caused.

"Punishment was the belt." Harry finished, enjoying the warmth on his hand.

"No child should experience that." Severus said passionately.

He saw Harry nod from the corner of his eye and decided to offer something of his own. Taking his right arm back, he nestled it between them and wrangled his shirt sleeve free from the buttons, pulling it up to expose his right wrist. Twisting it so the underside of his forearm was facing upwards, there, plain as day against the pale porcelain like skin was a faint white mark and extended a thumb length up his arm. Harry brought his feet up and curled them beneath himself, leaning into the man a little more and hovering just over the mark so he could look straight down at it.

"I believe it was before my tenth year. I was helping brew a potion and caught my wrist on the cauldron's rim."

That was a surprise to Harry, mainly because that was before he would have been at school so why was he brewing? Who was he doing it with? So many questions he wanted to ask but fear of being told off had him keeping his mouth shut. The moment between them was calm and serene, he wanted nothing to spoil it. Instead, when his Professor placed his exposed arm between them, Harry brought his hands over to cradle the hand, much like had happened to him mere moments ago and traced the line with his finger.

"Ask."

Harry turned his head and found a blank face looking back at him, "I don't want to pry."

"There's always a first time for everything with you, isn't there Harry?"

Harry smiled at that, finding humor in the statement and nodded, "I suppose there is."

"I knew more about Potions when I arrived at Hogwarts than all of first through to fourth year students combined. For that, naturally I received a lot of back lash for."

Harry immediately imagined his father teasing his Head of House and fought back the tears that began to form. Whilst true, he had only ever really heard one side of the story in that James Potter was a bully and scoundral, after everything Professor Snape had been through in his life he couldn't help but wonder if things could have been different.

"Did you know what you wanted to do when you left school? Before, you know, the other stuff happened?" Harry asked timidly.

"No."

Harry wanted to believe that, he really did, but the tone suggested it was an answer that meant no more prying. Wanting to respect the man's wishes he didn't ask anymore but remained firm in his ministrations of tracing the light line along his Professor's wrist and forearm.

"I know the natural progression for me is to be an Auror. You've said it, my friends have said it, the Headmistress has advocated for it… But that's just not who I am." Harry broke the silence by bringing it back to him, he felt the man might have appreciated that effort.

"Then why not ask yourself this, _what do you want to achieve_? If you were to go out into the world tomorrow, what is it that you would want to do? What brings you passion and excitement?"

Harry thought on it for a moment and several things popped into his mind but all he had solemnly sworn he would not do because it was expected of him. One of those things was becoming a professional Quidditch player, yes he enjoyed the sport, got a thrill out of playing for the school team but that was something his father had been good at and he was simply living in the shadow of a legacy.

Then, as he thought about his parents, inspiration hit him and he sat up straight, inadvertantly putting some distance between the two of them. In the storm of everything going on in his life he had forgotten about the one thing that might be able to help find his passion again, his will to live. Seeing for himself what he desired deep down, _the Mirror of Erised_. It was perfect, how had he not thought of this before?

"Let's go somewhere."

"I beg your pardon?" Severus reacted in surprise as the teen jumped up.

"I just had an idea and I think you're going to like this." Harry smiled in triumph, he was going to drag the man with him if he had to because he didn't want to do it himself.

With narrowed eyes, Severus refused to move and folded his arms with a glare fully set on his face. Harry however, wasn't going to be deterred and threatened to sneak out after curfew one night during the week so he could do this. At the man's hesitance, he knew he had him right where he'd intended but didn't say where they would be going. Instead, stating he wanted to go somewhere he hadn't been to in years.

 **. . .**

"You cannot be serious." Severus folded his arms once more, looking between the small trap door hole to the teen standing on the other side of it.

"Hopefully the Devilsnare will be there to break our fall." Harry peered into the black pit.

"Absolutely not."

"To the plant being there or going down?" The younger Slytherin frowned in confusion.

"Both."

"Don't be a spoil sport, come with me." Harry pleaded, though to Severus he sounded rather serious about it and had noticed the difference in aura the closer they got to their target.

"If you break a bone, I will not help you." The Slytherin Head threatened.

"Oh, I rather doubt that. You first?"

"How do I know that you will not just, _walk away_?" There was a definite skepticism to the older Wizards voice and Harry felt guilt rip through him.

"Sir… I wouldn't do that, I promise." His young voice was solemn.

"You first. That way, I know if it is safe to go down." A wry smirk developed on his lips and Harry deadpanned him immediately.

"Fine." Harry agreed, "But if you bail on me, Professor mark my words…" He pointed a finger towards the man who's smirk grew before he waved a hand at the open trap door.

Huffing, Harry glanced down and hoped to all of Merlin's angels that the plant was still there but neither could see down the hole. He was risking alot but thought if the Chamber of Secrets wasn't too dangerous, this wouldn't be either. Taking a deep breath, he looked skeptically towards the older man before taking a step out and half jumping.

Severus watched him disappear, but when he heard an alarmed and muffled, " _shiiiiiiiiit_." He withdrew his wand and pointed down the hole.

Wishing desperately he'd brought his own wand, Harry braced himself for the impact as the stone floor of the empty chamber came alarmingly close only to find himself stop two inches above the dirty stone. The movement unsettling the dust and causing him to sneeze, right before his body finally touched the ground with an _oomph_.

Severus tilted his head back and smiled at the ceiling, it was adorablly satisfying to hear the echoed sneeze from below but he knew the teen would be expecting him so he went the only plausible way down, by partially apparating in a cloud of black robes and smoke. What awaited him down in the darkly lit hole was an extremely irritated Harry Potter, who had dirt smeared across his forehead.

"You know, it's unfair that you can do that." He huffed, but Severus simply gave him a half-amused shrug, "Would you teach it to me?"

They turned towards the tunnel that would take them under the castle and Severus considered the question when they started to move away. He wouldn't ever be able to dabble in that sort of magic whilst residing within the walls of Hogwarts, it was very dark magic. Yes, Albus had taught the Order members this trick, but it still didn't mean that students should be allowed to practice it.

"I think that would be unwise. Certainly not whilst under Minerva's control." He responded earnestly.

Nodding in agreement, they walked silently to the next part of the chambers only to hear nothing coming from the next room. Frowning, Harry was only slightly disappointed that the keys were now gone and the broomstick stood propped against the far wall.

"Huh." He commented, rather dejectedly.

If Severus had interpreted the tone correctly, he would have deduced that the teen had been expecting something to still be here. The devilsnare should have been the first dead giveaway and yet there Harry was staring up into the rafters looking glum. He could imagine this would have been a challenge the teen would have enjoyed, especailly when one considered Grangers lack of skill and Weasley's lack of grace in the air. Quirrel on the other hand, how that uncoordinated waste of purple robed, garlic infused pathetic Wizard had ever managed to get on that broomstick and snag the key was beyond him. He refrained from making a remark and they kept walking through to the next room that was incredibly large compared to what the rest of the chambers looked like.

The large black and white checkered marble floor was empty, it appeared that someone had cleared the mess away and a strange emotion flowed through Harry as he took a step onto a white square. He envisioned the last heroic act of the game, he had been so scared back then but now as he approached the area he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like now that he was at least double the height an experience.

"I was never much of a chess player but I had my fair share of games." Harry reminisced.

"Remind me later and I will challenge you to a game."

Stepping forward into the next square, Harry found himself smiling for some absurd reason and took the next checkered section with arms spreading wide either side of him. Tilting his head back to look up at the light captured in some form of skylight lit by the moon he spun slowly as he walked towards the end. He did this twice before he stopped spinning, facing his Professor and walking backwards.

Severus hadn't said anything but now was met with an odd expression by his student who lazily let his arms drop and cross over his front as if they had still been destined to spin when the body had stopped. For all intents and purposes, Severus decided that it was indeed a smile he was getting, but was soon made far more obvious when it broadened into a grin.

Unsure why he was getting this response, he shook his head once Harry moved on to the next room and stopped beside him. The grin had turned into another odd emotion, much like the disappointment from missing keys. This had been his room, the potions that had been laid out caused a shiver to run the length of his spine. He couldn't believe his riddles hadn't killed one of the three brats as they made their way through all the chambers.

"I was hoping something would still be here."

"I am miffed by your disappointment, Harry. It sounds as though you were wanting to be tested again."

"I sort of was…" He sighed, turning to look at the man for a moment.

"I suppose this was one Miss. Granger worked through."

"All, Hermione." He smiled sadly, running his hand along the table as he passed it.

"The three of you should never have been down here. I have witnessed a lot but to have you poisoned would be a very low point in my Professional career." Severus confessed as they went on to the final room.

Harry stopped suddenly halfway down the many stairs that led to their destination, overcome by a sudden pressure in his chest at the sight of the mirror standing in solidarity. Was he really going to do this? What would he even see now? He doubted very much that it would be his parents, knowing that he could speak with them whenever he wanted with the use of the resurrection stone. If they ever found it, of course. This had been his very first encounter with Voldemort, where it all basically started for him. He could very well have died that night, stuck in the rim of flame and not knowing how to get himself out of it. His stomach twisted and knotted when he realised that even now, after everything, he didn't even think to bring his wand.

"Is everything all right?" Severus stopped a foot length in front of his student, head turned back to watch his reaction.

"Fine." The nonchalant attitude wasn't fooling either of them.

"Does this bring back unpleasant memories?" Severus wondered, it seemed like an entire rollercoaster ride for the teen from the moment they arrived in the first room.

"Not particularly. Well… I'm certainly looking over my shoulder as we stand here to make sure we can get back. You brought your wand, right?" The cheek Harry tacked onto the end took the bite out of his soured tone but Severus simply stared blankly back.

"Just checking." Whilst Harry was all smiles and cracking jokes when he could, it was getting harder to deny that his breathing was shortening with the pressure still felt on his chest.

Staring numbly at the old and dusty mirror, Harry had subconsciously shifted weight onto his right leg and subsequently brushed his knuckles against his Professors hand. The movement seemed to take them both by surprise but the younger Wizard suddenly didn't want to approach this by himself and feeling brave, shifted his hand backwards before sliding his fingers to interlock them.

"Harry – "

"Just stay close, please?"

Instead of falling into the trap of whispering, _always_ , to his student he remained silent. Again. Matching the slow steps forward and down the final stairs towards the mirror. He shivered in a past memory of having found the blasted thing himself and wanted nothing more than to shatter it into tiny pieces. Albus had found him many times kneeling at the base, fingers sliding down the cold glass as he mourned the everlasting loss he had to endure at his own hands. He'd confided in the Headmaster about what he saw, but was given the same answer time and time again, that he could never have brought her back and the happiness he saw in her eyes would forever be lost.

He didn't want Harry to fall into the same trap, this student who for the most part seemed stable, still needed guidance and support but now that they were here he wasn't sure this would be the best thing for either of them. He had to check what it was that Harry wanted to achieve.

"Before you do this, Harry. What are you expecting to find when you look into its contents? Will you be satisfied with what you see?"

"I'm not sure what I'm going to see, so I have no reservations and hence, kind of the reason why we're here." It sounded so obvious to Harry, he didn't know what his Professor was trying to say.

Then something clicked and he turned his head quickly, "Wait, you've used it before haven't you?"

"In my younger years." Severus replied.

"Younger years." The teen scoffed, making Severus frown, "You're not crippling, sir."

"Watch your tongue, Potter." Severus pulled Harry's hand back as they went to stop in front of the mirror.

"What? That was a compliment."

"Compliment or not, you are becoming too complacent. I'm not sure where this attitude is coming from but once we leave this place, it is staying in here. Do I make myself clear?" His eyes betrayed his inner fury so he made up for it in a scowl, only loosening his grip on Harry's hand when he saw a brief nod.

"Good, now let's get this over with. I would like to be back in the warmth of my quarters."

Harry swallowed a bit of his pride and nodded again, feeling as though he'd been taken down a notch. Not having noticed how he had started being so familiar with the man in the first place, he now felt stupid for suggesting they come here. He sighed, wanting to bury himself in the luxurious comforter on his bed in the Slytherin dorms to forget everything.

Harry felt his Professor letting go of his hand, even though he hesitated at first, he let the man go and closed his eyes. Taking that last step forward, he took a deep breath and attempted to clear his mind. When he had been younger it was all he'd thought about, getting to be with his parents again, but now he had so many things going on that he knew it would be difficult to distinguish what he really wanted. It didn't matter really, the mirror knew, somehow within its magic it would be able to find its way through the chaos and show him what he desperately wanted.

Opening his eyes, he looked upon the image of himself and waited… he waited but nothing came. He frowned, blinking and letting his jaw slacken. There was confusion as he looked upon the image of himself and his Professor, standing as they had been prior to him setting a curious gaze upon the glass. Something had to be wrong. If he remembered what Professor Dumbledore had said to him, the happiest man would look into the mirror and see only himself. But he wasn't happy, he wasn't content with things…

"This… doesn't make sense. Sir, I don't think it's going to work if you're standing so – " He peered over his shoulder at where the man should have been standing, " – close." He blinked, several times.

What?

He peered over his shoulder to find no one there and his Professor standing at least two meters away from him and out of sight from the reflection in the mirror. His head snapped back to the image in front of him, walking closer and seeing his Professor still in the background, unmoving.

What?

He looked back and fourth, from the mirror to his Professor, then to the empty spot on the floor where the man should have been according to what he was supposed to see. Was… Was it possible? Did he dare to accept that this is what he desired deep down? They weren't even doing anything, the man just stood there watching him but as he went right up to the mirror and got a better look at the expression the man wore he could see it was off. Not in a bad way, just different.

" _I don't understand_." Harry's voice was small, soft and barely a whisper.

Just as he said it however and took a few steps – more like stumbles – backwards, the image started to move. In the foreground, the mirror version of himself was moving about and made an action that caused the sour looking man to suddenly break into a wide smile. Harry's first reaction was his jaw dropping to the floor and he gaped, almost being able to hear the deep, throaty laugh where he was standing.

"Is something wrong?" Severus finally stepped forward, now concerned by the reactions he was watching.

"Well… N-No, not exactly." Merlin, how was he supposed to tell his Professor what he was seeing right now.

The image continued on, Harry walking up to the man who had ceased his theatrical laugh and was about to embrace the younger mirror Wizard in what he could only describe as a loving hug. Part of his heart ached to see it, knowing that he shouldn't be wishing for things such as this but getting such joy out of it anyway. He blinked several times, the image growing blurry as tears started to form.

"May I enquire as to what you have seen?"

Harry went to speak, his mouth only opening and closing like a fish in water as he watched but knowing he shouldn't. Mirror Harry was pulling his head free from the older mirror Wizard's robes after their hug, a hand on his lower back holding him close even though they went to pull away. Watching this caused tingles to appear on the places the mirrored version of him was being touched.

Glancing down at himself and his Head of House he could clearly tell that they were not touching in any way and the man was at least half a meter away from him still. He couldn't tear his eyes away for long however, and just as he looked back up he saw something that made his internal organs seize up and twist until he was sure they'd pop.

He gasped and covered his mouth, leaning forward as if he didn't believe what he was seeing and a tear running downt the back of his hand where the damn had burst. He jumped high in the air after this, getting a shock when he actually felt a hand on his back and stumbled out of the man's reach.

"W-What are you doing?"

"You look as though you have seen a ghost." Severus was now getting concerned.

"I-I'm f-fine."

"Apologies if I do not take your word for it." His tone was dry.

"It's fine, I'm fine. Let's get out of here." Harry didn't want to leave however and quickly looked back into the reflective surface, a sensation brewing in the lower part of his body as he watched the scene once more.

Severus walked right up to him and turned both shoulders towards him and looked into the glazed green eyes of his student. He wasn't going to ask what was seen but he would admit he was extremely curious, perhaps he would bring it up later if the time was right. Once the eyes in front of him focused, the younger Wizard hesitantly turned away.

Letting in a deep breath, Severus let the teen go but not before he looked at his reflection in the mirror. Big mistake. He became rooted to the spot with the image he saw developing, his heart struggling with the erratic beats it was suddenly put into.

"Sir?" Harry had reached a hand out behind him as he walked only to find himself meters away from his Professor who was watching something, apparently horrific.

Hearing his title, he begrudgingly turned his head away and wandered over to where Harry was standing there for him. Both said nothing more about what each other saw in the reflection, both looked pale… and when they snuck back into the Dungeon, each decided to call it a night.

Both had thinking to do, for quite opposing reasons.

 **. . .**

 ** _Honestly, I loved writing that tender moment... Such good feels._**


	35. Chapter 35

_**.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Lol, you might be right but then again, Severus can be hard to read. What if that horror was seeing something else entirely?**_

 **#Evelyn Harrison:**

 _ **I'm trying to update every second day but sometimes work and life get in the way.**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Paramedics are on the way darling!**_

 **#Vadimmom:**

 _ **Hey there! I saw your comment about Ch10. I understand what you're saying but I thought of Severus commenting it in jest, using a sarcastic tone to show Harry that there were really only two options he could choose from. I know the real issue isn't a laughing matter, so if I offended you I do apologise! Hopefully you're sticking with the story :D**_

 **#i-am-siriusly-sherlocked:**

 _ **Hmm, do I want to make it that easy for them? **spoiler** I've actually loosely planned out the scene where they work things out, so I'll see if your suggestion fits in there somewhere.**_

 _ **. . .**_

 _Anxiety._

Harry was no stranger to this emotion, this _crippling_ and _cruel_ illness that plagued him almost religiously since he'd arrived back at Hogwarts. There had been a brief stint, a few weeks where the debilitating sensation left him but that was only due to one person, who, unfortunately was the cause of his anxiety this time. And it was bad, unable to sleep, not wanting to eat – not that he ate a lot anyway – and unable to concentrate. The image of the two of them burnt into his retinas, there was no way he would ever forget what it looked like; and the worst part of it all… He knew it was all one sided.

Tossing and turning, unwilling to close his eyes in case the image popped up again, Harry had done a lot of thinking and analysing. He was starting to drive himself mad with the thoughts. The biggest impact had been in class, lack of food and sleep had led to a constant battle for staying awake and the worst class was that of Defence. He knew his Professor could see something was wrong, anyone could see that, but nothing had been said. It was as if Professor Snape was avoiding him; not that it was completely unwelcome but the stomach dropping realisation was that the man had worked out what had been seen and was trying to stay away because of it. It wasn't as though he'd be completely surprised.

The hurt however, that's what caused him pain alongside the anxiousness. Somewhere in his mind he thought that the man might pick up on his discomfort and pull him aside to alleviate it… But nothing had come and as he remembered, the man appeared to be avoiding him at all costs. _I wish I could talk to someone about this…_ He sighed, unable to look up at his Head of House as he sat numbly between his friends at dinner.

"Harry, you've been moping around since Wednesday. Has something happened?" Hermione leaned over and whispered.

"I'm fine." He replied, looking into the empty plate in front.

"You're really not fooling anyone." She continued, "Did something happen with Professor Snape?" She looked up to the head table and saw the man watching them, but promptly turned his head away when they made eye contact.

"Why would you even say that?"

"Because you were fine at dinner, went to see him and from then on you look as though you haven't slept – when was the last time you ate anything?"

Sighing, Harry pushed his plate away and ran both hands through his hair, placing both elbows on the table, "Wednesday."

"Exactly, so something happened." Grumbling, he tugged on his bangs before dropping his head onto the table with a thud.

"You don't think it might have something to do with the Mandrake leaves?" Draco leaned into Harry also so he could whisper, also trying to change the subject for his friend.

"Quite possibly, but I know how Harry operates and when something is on his mind he doesn't eat."

Frowning, Harry sat up, "I'm right here you know."

Standing, he looked down at his friends with sore, tired eyes. They were about to say something when he turned and walked away from the hall; anything would be better than how he was feeling now but the only problem was finding comfort in a man who was avoiding him. That's all he wanted, he just wanted to be touched… embraced in a hug or something. The ache was painful, it hurt his chest and coupled with the anxiety he felt over it all, he was really a mess.

 _Dreamless sleep, that's what I need_ , he thought but knew he would not be able to get any without going to see his Professor. He refused to look up at the man but knowing he'd still have a few minutes before he even thought about leaving dinner the thought occurred that he could sneak into his Professor's room and grab some. No one needed to know, not one single person. He had been given the opportunity to enter the room without really having to be let in so why not use it to his advantage?

Desperately, when he turned the corner he broke into a run. He hadn't thought this plan through quite fully and there was only a short period of time that he knew he would be safe. Being good all year, the only time he'd broken into somewhere had been the man's office and this was a similar situation, wasn't it? Besides, Professor Snape had forgiven him that time after some explaining.

Feeling faint when he arrived outside the door to his Professor's private rooms, he hesitated. Dragging breath into his lungs, the lack of nutrition over the past couple of days had him blinking with disorientation and he stumbled back against the cold wall to calm himself. _What am I doing?_ He thought suddenly, looking at the door warily, _you want to break into his rooms… Take a potion… and then hope he doesn't find out?_ He was barking mad.

Admitting defeat, he slid down the wall and hung his head between both knees. He was weak and vulnerable, just like Voldemort said.

"Why did I have to turn out like my father?" He sighed.

"Because apparently, the Potter genes were very strong."

Startled, Harry looked up and found his Professor standing two meters away, leaning against the wall. How long the man had been there, Harry didn't know but he hadn't even heard a thing. The Dungeons were a noisy place when one was trying to walk down the corridor, the closed in spaces made every noise echo and amplify.

"S-Sir…"

"I think you should come inside, Potter. We need to talk."

Harry froze where he was and looked at the outstretched hand in fear. He hadn't particularly wanted to deal with the man so soon whilst the memories of the mirror were so fresh. However, he knew that by not complying with his Head of House, it would make him more suspicious that something was wrong and less likely for Harry to lie. Not that lying ever proved to be successful when it came to Professor Snape.

Taking the hand, he was hoisted up and all but dragged across the hall and into the warm room that had become sanctuary to him. Taking in a deep breath, he let it out slowly and felt some of the tension leave his shoulders, however the moment a warm pair of hands on them he tensed again.

"Do you think I am a fool, Mr. Potter?"

 _Oh no… It's his teaching voice_ , Harry realised, closing his eyes in shame.

"No, sir."

"Blind, perhaps?"

"No, sir."

"Interesting." Severus patted the shoulders and then moved away.

Not wanting to move just yet, Harry stayed where he was and watched as his Professor disappeared into the laboratory for a moment, coming out with a vial in his hand and motioned for the couch. It seemed that he wasn't going to be as lucky as he thought and started thinking of different things he could use to tell the man anything but the truth. He made sure to sit as far away from the older Wizard as he could on the couch and eyed him warily. Of course, Severus could tell there was something wrong, he had been avoided at all costs and this was quite possibly the first time they had made eye contact since Wednesday. It was now Saturday evening. The red rimmed eyes looked tired and that was precisely what he had in his hand, thinking that dreams or nightmares were plaguing him once more.

"I assume there is a very good reason as to why you were sitting outside my room?"

A loaded question that could have gone either way for him. Did he tell the man a truth, that he was there to steal a potion but lost his nerve once realising? Or lie and say… what? If he said he wanted comfort then he would be asked why. If he said he wanted to talk, then they would talk but what would he even discuss? He was a fool for having thought he could do any of this and grumbled internally. All he really wanted, when it all boiled down was for the anxiety to go away enough for him to sleep. He wanted things to go back to how they were between the two of them, he didn't want to know that after everything he had been through, Professor Snape was the one he wanted to spend all his time with. He never should have gone to the mirror.

"I was going to steal a dreamless sleep potion." He felt honesty was the best answer in all this.

Severus's face softened, mostly from surprise. The teen was in such a state that he thought stealing was the only option? No, something definitely spooked him from the mirror, he saw an image that he didn't want to discuss with anyone and was leading him to act out irrationally. It was the only thing that he could think of at that moment which could have had something to change his Slytherin's behaviour. Still concerned about his students well-being, he sat up and held out the vial for Harry to take.

"Here you are then."

"H-How did you – "

"Harry, you look dog tired. I would not be surprised if you collapse with exhaustion soon. Whilst not eating for three days is a main contributor it appears a good sleep would be beneficial. However; I would like to know why it has ended up this way."

"You want to know what I saw." Harry said solemnly.

"That is something only you can determine. Will it benefit you to keep it bottled up or to speak out? Your friends are concerned, _I_ am concerned, and the Headmistress will also be concerned when she learns that one of her closely monitored students looks dead on his feet."

 _He's not going to outright ask me_ , Harry realised looking up I surprise.

Whilst not directly asking, the younger Wizard felt like there was something he could say; so ambivalent that it would throw off suspicion enough for him to process what was happening. It was worth a shot, if anything to get everyone else off his back and the twisty, tightening in his stomach to disappear. There was a lot going on in his head, there was hunger, tiredness, Animagus requirements, mirror epiphanies, sexual preferences and romance. Hermione mentioned Ron had the emotional range of a teaspoon, well in Harry's experience he most likely had a thousand-mile ruler as his range. It was a rollercoaster, up and down, twisting and turning, nauseating, tiring… The works.

Waking with a start, he hadn't even realised he'd closed his eyes until he felt something running through his hair. Now that he was more aware, he was actually lying down and something heavy was pressing down on him, creating a safe cocoon. Taking a deep breath, he went to move his head but the hand combing his hair wouldn't allow this action to happen. He was propped up on something warm and relatively solid; tensing his muscles as he stretched and opening his eyes fully it was a thigh he was resting on.

"Wha – Where…"

"You are safe, Harry. I did not realise my words bored you entirely into unconsciousness but I see my predictions were correct."

 _What in Merlin's balls does that mean?_ Harry thought, blinked several times and focussing on the fire dancing in the hearth. Damn, he'd really fallen asleep… Well, that was one way of getting out of talking things through, wasn't it? But the next question was how long had he been out for and what day was it? He felt like he'd slept an entire week.

"Time?" He asked, stifling a yawn by burying his face into the blanket that was draped across him.

"Very late."

 _Oh_.

"Uh… I-I should go, then." This time when Harry went to sit up it went uncontested and the blanket fell away from his shoulder, "Did you offer me a Dreamless Sleep potion… Or did I dream that up?" He asked, confused..

When he looked at his Professor, the man was shutting his book and placing it beside him. Wary black eyes then made contact with his, causing both of them to frown simultaneously.

"That is the last thing you remember?"

"Er, yes?" A sinking feeling started developing in his stomach.

"Then, yes. It is on the table."

 _Oh no, what have I said? What did I do?_ Panicking, Harry sat up properly and took the vial off the table before putting it in his pocket and standing. He bent down to take the blanket and started folding it up, his hands shaking gently which caused him to fluster about and his head swimming with the sudden upright movement. Severus saw this happening and stood also, every intention was to let the teen continue but nothing about any of it made sense. Instead, he came up behind Harry and took both hands, the black material slipping from between his fingers and falling in a pile onto the couch.

"Leave it. Take the potion and get some rest. Your body needs it."

"Why is none of this making sense?" His vision distorted and all he could see was the plush couch in front of him.

"Because you are overtired."

All Harry wanted to do was close his eyes and go to sleep but moving seemed like such an arduous task. If only he could rest his eyes for a moment before he went, have those strong arms hold him up for only a little while. Giving him some warmth and safety…

" _I am aware of what is going on. You have been warned."_

" _But, sir…"_

" _It is dangerous and reckless. You should know better."_

" _We haven't been hurt."_

" _Yet. I should be informing the Headmistress of this, she will deal the consequences."_

" _Will he be okay?"_

" _That remains to be seen."_

 _[… Everything was foggy. Harry's mind felt light but confused, his limbs heavy and unmoving. It was as if he was trapped in his mind with no way out. Oh, no, there is a light that shines bright. It calls to him, through the tree branches, high up in the sky. The moon, in all its bright white glory, looks down upon the earth so innocent and light. It brings peace to the area, everything settles, even the trees calm their sway out of respect for the man in the moon…]_

 _Shit_ , Harry thought when he came to. The scent of his dormitory was the only thing grounding him the moment he realised where he was because he had no recollection of how he had managed to get there. The room was dark, or the lighting was dimmed, from what he could tell and he stretched out his limbs, rolling onto his front. The familiar comforts from his pillow provided enough distraction from the previous few days of sickening anxiety.

"Potter." Draco growled from across the room.

Lifting his head and looking over his shoulder, Harry squinted across the room, "Draco."

"I hope you're happy, Professor Snape had to carry you like a child to bed last night. _Everyone_ saw it."

Harry groaned, "Fuck."

"And people are talking about it."

 _Even better,_ the brunette thought.

"And he wants you to report directly to him when you're awake."

"Did he say why?" Rolling onto his back, he slid up so he was sitting and ran both hands across his face, rubbing harshly at both eyes.

Distantly aware that there had been a weird conversation he thought he'd dreamt, it occurred to him that perhaps it had actually happened. For some reason, there was a sinking feeling that he was in trouble but it was merely a distant memory and couldn't for the life of him picture it properly.

"Draco?" Harry prompted, realising he hadn't had an answer.

The blonde looked nervous, he was sitting on his bed like a little child, hugging both legs to his chest. There was a book open in front of him, like he had been studying prior to the conversation. The brunette still had no time reference for how long he slept but considering his friend wasn't in school robes he had a good mind to assume it was still the weekend.

"He knows about our Animagus transformations."

All the blood drained from Harry's face before it morphed into all-consuming dread. It was as if Draco had scooped up a bucket full of lake water and dumped it straight over his head. There was no way of backing out of this, Professor Snape knew and they were going to be expelled, there was no other way around it. They hadn't told anyone about becoming Animagi, it was going to go straight to the Headmistress before being expelled and marched off to Azkaban. Oh, this was so bad.

"He, uh – I mean we, er – "

"I assume he hasn't told the Headmistress yet." Draco said softly.

"Wha – How did he find – " Clapping a hand over his mouth he realised the leaf wasn't in his mouth and again, terror infiltrated his slender frame, causing his bones to sear in pain.

"I swallowed mine before he could pry it from my mouth…"

"Hermione!"

"He doesn't know, well at least I don't think he knows about her."

"He'll know." Harry vaulted from the bed, stumbled around and picked clothes up off the floor only to realise he was still dressed.

 _Where's my wand…_ He looked around and then patted his pockets to find the length. Pulling it free he waved it around and a snake appeared in front of him.

" _Hermione, Snape knows._ "

The snake disappeared through the ceiling at lightning speed before Harry flopped back down onto the bed. _Damn_ , he covered his face with both hands again to block out the light and decided that he could well have done with not waking up today.

"Will she even know what that means?"

"She'll know." Harry replied, looking bitterly at the floor.

 **. . .**

Knocking on the large wooden door, it opened and Harry stepped in before stilling when he saw the dining table. With a newspaper propped up and opened, his Professor was sitting casually at the head but didn't turn his way at the sound of a visitor. Wondering if he had just walked in on the man spending Sunday morning by himself, he remained frozen in place.

"Good morning, Potter. Come and sit."

Blinking incredulously before him, Harry hesitantly walked forward, still confused. He took a seat, carefully, and then took stock of what was actually on the table in front of him. It was breakfast, a rather lavish one at that, with handmade hash browns, eggs, bacon, toast… everything. There was fruit and juice, even a mug of hot chocolate that materialised when he pulled his chair in.

"Uh, sir?"

Harry looked at the front cover of the paper and waited to be addressed. It came soon enough when the rustling of paper was heard and the Daily Prophet closed, folded in half and placed to the side. Unable to hold the man's gaze, he looked down at his lap with a gentle frown.

"Since you are incapable of eating a nutritious meal unsupervised, I have been forced to undertake the task of ensuring you do not perish. So, please help yourself."

 _Seriously?_ Harry thought, worrying his bottom lip.

"Oh, and take your time. There are things I am extremely interested in asking you later." At this, Severus picked up the paper once more and opened it out, hiding Harry's face from view.

Up in the higher levels of the castle, Hermione was staring at the large stone in front of her blankly. Draco was ambling up towards her but she made no effort to acknowledge him as he plonked down beside her. She had received Harry's message a while ago but felt numb all over, expecting any moment to receive an owl from the Headmistress.

"Hi?" Draco said lamely.

"Hi, Draco." She responded in a defeated tone.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Fresh air. I think you know why."

"There's always a chance he hasn't told her yet."

"And if he does, Draco we are as good as gone. I doubt even senior students, let alone the war students are going to be given any leeway with this. The last thing the Ministry wants are people who are unregistered wandering around. I looked into it a while back, Minister Shacklebolt is bound by the law and we should have started the paperwork before we started."

"Harry's with Professor Snape now… If there's anything Harry's good at, it's getting under his skin and stopping him."

"How did Professor Snape even find out? It seems bizarre."

"I don't know precisely, but he carried Harry to bed last night, said he went to give him a potion and noticed the leaf on Harry's tongue. I was so taken back that I instinctively swallowed mine in case he tried to take it from me."

"You'll have to start again."

"I know… It was almost four weeks too. I was hoping that Harry and I could meditate one night under the full moon."

"You know…" Hermione folded her arms and looked at the sky for inspiration, "There is always a possibility that the moon could boost your transformation. There isn't anything that says you have to swallow the leaf directly at the time of transforming. With it processing and breaking down in your stomach acids, you have a slim chance of being able to draw out the animal. If that's so, tonight would be your best bet."

"What if I get stuck?"

"I'll walk you through it. But for now… I think we should try and do something else because I find myself starting to get nervous about being approached by the Headmistress."

Harry eyed the breakfast hungrily, his stomach protesting suddenly at having been abused the past few days. He had a history of doing this to himself, mostly due to being conditioned by his Aunt and Uncle for so many years. He often wondered how well he was able to get away with no food, he instinctively knew it wasn't right.

He wolfed down the hot chocolate in record time, but bit his lip as he placed it back down on the table. Everything smelled incredible and his mouth continued to water as he helped himself to bacon and hash browns. He started small, taking only a little but that was soon consumed and he went in for more. He wasn't sure why, but everything tasted as it should be and was delicious. A bitter pill to swallow however when he realised that he and Draco had been so close to finishing up their month.

At this he stopped, placing his cutlery down and propping his head up on one hand, glancing down at the left overs. Was this his fault? If he hadn't gotten so tired and fallen asleep, would he be in this position or be working towards his transformation? He was an idiot, and continued to remind himself of such as he picked up the fork and played with the half eaten hash brown. Tonight would have been the perfect night, after studying the moon cycles it was going to be a large full moon.

Severus finished what he was reading and methodically folded his paper back up, placing it beside him and reaching out for the mug of coffee that had instantly refilled itself. Leaning back in the chair lazily, he watched the myriad of emotions and expressions that adorned his Slytherin's face, admiring it for only a moment longer.

"What do you remember from last night, Harry?"

"Good question." Harry replied solemnly, seemingly unaware of how much trouble he should have been in.

"I should not be surprised." Severus sighed, watching his student closely.

"Everything is a blur, I was so tired and…" He trailed off, running a hand through is bangs, "I know you want me to explain why but I don't think I can."

"Can't, or won't?"

"A bit of both, I suppose."

"We are referring back to the Mirror of Erised?" Severus confirmed, and Harry nodded.

"Please don't ask me what I saw."

"I was not intending on doing so, as I said last night that is purely up to you if you wish to divulge such information."

A little stress left Harry at the man's words and he relaxed his shoulders, but he supposed, there was _something_ he could say about it. He just had to be careful how he worded it. _Why do I have this weird sense of déjà vu?_ He thought.

When he first looked in the mirror, back when he was eleven, it showed him something he could never have. If he were honest, it still showed him that didn't it? He could never be that way with his Professor no matter how many times he fantasized or dreamt it to happen. Perhaps that was the angle he could use. Sighing, he prepared himself to speak and Severus gave him his full attention.

"It… It still shows me something that I can't have. It threw me, made me realise that after everything that's happened, I still long for something that I'll never get."

 _Something, or someone?_ Severus wondered, remembering Harry talking about his parents.

"And it was this image that caused you the inability to eat or sleep."

Harry nodded.

"One often gets these symptoms when in love." Severus then proceeded to take a sip of coffee, looking over the rim to see Harry's startled face, "Just an observation."

"I'm not." Harry responded defiantly.

This time, Severus nodded. Taking the reply for what it was and decided to redirect their conversation.

"Then why don't we move onto matters on a more serious note. I assume by now you have realised something is missing, an item that was held in your mouth."

 _I didn't dream it. He really did talk to Draco, that's who I heard speaking last night._

"I don't know what you mean." Harry shrugged, but paled when he saw the dark look he was given, "I did it alone."

"Potter. Unlike your classmates, I, in fact _do_ use my brain. Quite frequently, shockingly. Draco and yourself have broken not only school rules but the law as well. Now, whether you are aware of this or not, punishment at its most serious is Azkaban."

"We haven't found them yet, we were still only in the first phase. One could say that we are only researching it." The teen conceded.

"Regardless, the Headmistress will not be impressed to learn of this happening right under her nose."

"You haven't told her yet?" The relief was minor but it contrasted dramatically to the sickness he felt just before.

"I have not, your health was my main concern. Now that I know you have slept and eaten, my priorities have changed."

Harry felt that spiral of despair once more and pushed his plate away, covering his face with both hands. He felt the breakfast wanting to resurface. This was quite a confronting and confusing conversation; did it mean that his answers were going to decide his future? Technically, he couldn't be sent to Azkaban because they hadn't even found their forms yet, so that was the sliver of glinting hope that kept him from vomiting over them both.

"Please… sir, please don't tell her."

"And why should I refrain from informing her?" Severus put the mug down and leant forward so he could intimidate Harry a little.

"I…" Whatever the teen was going to say, it wouldn't leave his mouth.

Severus saw it clear as day, the teen was hurt and emotionally drained. Embarking on such an intense process quite possibly wasn't the best for him at that point. His mind and body were in a place of healing and recovery from a range of various events that had happened over the past year. They all were.

"I need a reason, Harry."

The younger Wizard couldn't take the pressure of it all, whether it be because he was still tired and feeling disorientated about everything that seemed to happen in a short period of time, he needed some space. At this he stood and walked over to the man's desk, just to physically get some distance between them. Why didn't he want the man to tell Professor McGonagall?

 _I feel like a failure, I was so close… She would be disappointed, and what if after this stress, she offered to help? Surely, she would allow us to do the paperwork with her?_

No back to the question. If the Headmistress turned around and was angry about it, then he could be stood down or even expelled. He didn't particularly want to leave Hogwarts, not when Professor Snape was here because he felt like they still had things to work out. Pushing aside how he truly felt deep down about his teacher, he could shunt that to the back of his mind and just enjoy the calmness he gave. That was going to be his answer, it was really only the best one he had at the moment.

Taking in a deep breath, he refused to face the older Wizard and instead traced his finger along the edge of the desk he was standing in front of. His head bowed and body submitting to the fact that he and his friends had done something reckless and were only sorry that they had been caught.

"I'm not ready to leave yet." Harry spoke softly and down at the desk, "There's two ways she could take this, happy that we're trying to learn more or angry that we did this behind her back. If it's the latter… I know she won't be forgiving."

Severus nodded, understanding what the brunette was saying.

"There's… there's still things that we are working on too. If she expels me then I…" He shuddered, "I'd rather not think about where I'd be."

Guilt rushed through Severus's body.

"I won't lie to you, sir. Having you around has given me something to live for, given me a purpose. You might not realise it, but disappointing you is one of my major fears; to a point where I can assume I would have an angry Professor Snape Boggart; and it's not nice. I know I've let you down this year, several times. For that I'm really sorry. I just wish things didn't always end up in a mess." Catching him off guard, a tear ran down his cheek and he gasped out a sob, "I want to be better, a better person."

Even though Severus was a bitter man he did still have a heart. The words he was hearing pulled at those heartstrings but as his confidant and Professor, there was still a responsibility to ensure he was safe. Rushing forward and taking the teen into his arms wouldn't do either of them any good in the long run. However, reassurance might put the active mind at ease enough for rational thought to process once more.

"And you can be better, but only if you trust yourself to let me help you." At this he stood and walked over to his student, putting a hand on his shoulder only to have Harry half turn into his arm.

"My father managed to do this."

"That is the real reason behind it all, isn't it?"

"They were three Wizards, just like me… They were younger when they figured it out so… I thought I could too. Why can't I prove that I'm more than some weapon, I'm more than just that. People keep telling me I'm a strong Wizard, well I want to prove that. _Even Peter Pettigrew managed to find his Animagus._ " Harry let his voice drop to a whisper.

"Pettigrew was a strong Wizard, do not get his demeanour confused with what truly lay within. Unfortunately, I have to admit, all four of them were immensely strong for their age."

"I bet they paled in comparison to you though." Harry commented and Severus puffed in amusement.

"Indeed," He agreed, before leaning forward, close to Harry's ear, "I would like to think so."

Harry managed a small smile at that but the overriding emotion was that of despair. What was he doing with his life? Where did he want to go? It seemed so up in the air. He wanted some stability with it all, common ground so things didn't randomly crop up and turn his life upside down. Going down to look at the Mirror of Erised wasn't the best thing he could have done, Professor Snape had been right to be cautious of it. _I wish I could smash it to pieces_ , he thought, turning his body to cling onto the one holding him.

Severus wouldn't let them stay like this for long, he peeled Harry away from him and leaned down, looking right into those frightened green eyes. He took both hands and placed them on the defined jawline, his thumbs holding the head in place as he took control.

"You need structure, Harry. A routine for you to stick with will be good to ease your mind and take a little anxiety away from you. Having a solid plan will let you focus on what is important in the here and now."

"I wouldn't know what to do." The teen admitted.

"Which is precisely why I will be planning it for you. We will work through a plan and stick to it. I gave you a task of writing down your interests, which I have now read through and have some suggestions. You will attend meals, be present in the Great Hall for study periods and get yourself into bed at a consistent time."

Harry blinked in surprise.

"You do not need to be strong all of the time, it is _not_ a sign of weakness. Your friends and classmates do not need to know about this, call it due diligence for wanting to graduate. Hopefully, you might even inspire a few students to do the same."

 _I really want to kiss him_ , Harry sighed and closed his eyes to top himself from doing it. This was not the time or place and he bitterly remembered the week prior. _I really am a sucker for punishment_ , he concluded.

"Now, go and find Draco. Tell him that the two of you are by no means off the hook and I will be informing the Headmistress of what has happened. I was unable to take the Mandrake leaf from you last night before you, apparently, instinctively swallowed it. I wager your month is almost up and therefore anything that happens in the next week _must_ be reported to myself. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir." Harry's mind reeled.

"I will not be having any of you expelled. I do believe that your reasons are enough to discuss constructively with the Headmistress that you were extending your practical knowledge. Do not be surprised if you are summoned to her office."

Harry nodded, suddenly making a connection as to how in Godric's name the man knew their timeline.

"If you do, remind yourself not to get worked up and think constructively."

Severus had directed Harry towards the door at this point, seeing the glazed eyes told him he hadn't really heard a word that had been said. Resigning himself to the fact his student was not in good shape, he pushed him out of the door and demanded he go back to bed. This was something that _was_ understood and whether it be from the shock of their conversation or something deep rooted he didn't know about, he let it go for now.

Minerva wasn't going to be happy, but it was most likely her anger would be aimed in a different direction. One that could have appeared to be too coincidental to simply be an accident – and that wasn't a conversation he particularly wanted to have.

 **. . .**

 _ **As a writer, I constantly have new thoughts and ideas running through my overactive brain. I've been watching the Lock Up series on Netflix and feel mad inspired to write a prison fic once this story is done.**_

 _ **What do people think about that?**_

 _ **Obviously, I'm asking**_ _ **here**_ _ **because it would be a Snarry. So hit me up if that's something you might like to read.**_


	36. Chapter 36

**.**

 **#CallicaXx:**

 _ **Eek, does it? I actually take that as a massive compliment :D I'd liked to have hoped my writing style has improved since that story. I've re-read Broken recently and there are so many things I would have changed. I'm glad you're enjoying this story other than impending death because of our precious Severus. Xx**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Panthers are cool aren't they? *happy sigh* - *very, very happy dreamy sigh*. As for the prison fic, I was thinking AU non-magic. Like, real life crimes that involve larceny, manslaughter, grand theft auto, distribution of class A drug, etc. But obviously ties to the HP series. Two rival gangs, Deatheaters and Marauders… get what I mean? Anyway, it was just a thought. Still no where near planning it out properly.**_

 **#kamylla:**

 _ **I like to think that Minerva is strict but fair. That's how I'm trying to write her but I'm trying not to make her decisions based around the fact that he is Harry Potter. It's a bit of a tough one to balance I'm finding. :D I'm so happy you like my writing, it gives me so many warm fuzzies when I see people enjoying my creations. Thank you!**_

 **#delia cerrano:**

 _ **I understand, it's just a thought at this point. Read the explanation I gave**_ _ **#Tlcatlady**_ _ **for my thoughts so far on it.**_

 **. . .**

Heeding the advice given by his Head of House, Harry slept and stayed in bed for the remainder of the day. In the week, minding his own business, an owl swooped down and landed beside him, nearly missing the bowl of cereal Draco was attempting to consume. He'd never seen this owl before, it was jet black and smaller than Hedwig had been but apparently it had a letter for him, so he took it hesitantly. _I wonder who you belong to_ , he thought pulling the loosely folded parchment in his hands and opening it up.

 _Harry, the Headmistress has been informed. Tell her the truth, do not hide anything._

 _S.S_

"Shit." Harry whispered looking to Draco and trying to see the head table out the corner of his eye.

"What is it?"

"He told Professor McGonagall. I think that's highly unlikely she'll expel us, but Professor Snape has suggested we just tell her the truth. When she asks us to see her, I'll do the talking."

"Should we tell Hermione about this?"

"Is she even here?"

"Given its Valentines Day, I would assume not." Draco commented wryly and with distaste.

" _What_?" Harry shrieked.

"Why does this surprise you, _look around!_ "

And Harry did, noticing the floral arrangements and red or pink cards being flown around the room. He had been so focused on himself and what was happening immediately around him with friends and Head of House that he hadn't even realized the worst possible day in the entire calendar year had already sprung upon them.

"Dear Godric, _why_ …" He groaned, absently stroking the black feathers of the owl that was suspiciously still standing on the table.

Actually, now he thought about it he should go and find Hermione and make sure she was okay. She wasn't in the hall but Ron was and he seemed to be reveling in something Cormac was saying about a girl if various vulgar movements were any indication. The sight made his blood boil and he grew extremely angry, very quickly. However, the owl apparently didn't like this response and squawked loudly before nipping him on the finger and flying off.

"Just like your bloody owner." He hissed, putting his knuckle into his mouth to stop the blood and Draco huffed with amusement.

"It's still weird to think you're really close to Professor Snape." The blonde commented, looking up at the head table to find his Godfather sitting down at his customary spot.

Harry, who still had his knuckle in his mouth and now stuck there between his teeth, turned his head towards his friend before eyes flicked to the front of the room. The comment stung him to a degree, it must have been weird for Draco to watch this happen because he had known the man for much longer than Harry had and possibly knew more personal details about his life.

"Does it bother you?" Harry removed his hand for a moment to speak and examine his finger before putting it back in his mouth.

"Not really, why?"

Harry didn't reply, he just shrugged off his interest in the question before locking eyes with the very man they were discussing. A light frown was given but Harry narrowed his eyes and shook his head when he noticed the black owl landing on the front table. His Professor seemed to understand and let a brief smirk pull at his lips but quickly turned his attention elsewhere as did Harry.

By class time, Hermione had finally shown herself but elected to sit as far back to the door as she possibly could. When Harry saw his friend, he could tell she was upset even though she didn't outwardly express it so he decided to keep an eye on her instead. In doing so, he could see Ron glancing over his shoulder every so often to look at her and the newest Slytherin found himself growling in response.

 _Typical Ron,_ Harry thought, catching him for a third time looking over at the Ravenclaw Witch and desperately wanted to say something for him to stop. Professor Vector wasn't known to be forgiving with interruptions and calculating that he was already skating on thin ice with everyone he decided to keep his mouth shut.

Potions was a different matter altogether and Draco turned to Harry with a smirk, looking away from their Professor in order to work out what would make the loudest and stickiest mess for the Gryffindor's. Hermione was preparing her Potion beside them so in hushed tones they deduced one particular ingredient that was in the storage cupboard to do the trick.

" _He'll know something is up if I ask, you go in and do it._ " Harry whispered, seeing their Professor on the other side of the room.

Nodding, the blonde carefully walked to his destination, holding a jar of something he was inspecting and without a hitch managed to sneak into the cupboard. Looking about, he found the fizzing fireball rock and snuck one into his pocket before coming back out, feigning a confused expression just he was bailed up by their teacher. Of course, when putting his mind to the task, Draco was a rather fluid liar and after flashing a perfect smile, Professor Slughorn was on his way back to the front of the class.

" _Okay, you can levitate it. Just give it a few minutes, he should be at the most pivotal part_." Draco whispered, Harry the dusty rock.

"Whatever it is you two are doing, can you not?" Hermione said, not so quietly, shooting them a dark look.

Harry felt his heart sinking at her words, she was short and the tone clipped. This was an irritated Hermione, not one that was half amused at their antics, she was serious. Draco of course didn't know this and snickered as he slipped the wand from within his sleeve; Harry blocking the Witches view from what was happening. Just as he opened his mouth to say something as a way of explaining himself, there was a gargled sloshing that came from across the room before the dangerous rattling of a cauldron on its stand.

In the next moment, Harry and Draco were lined up against a damp and mossy wall in the Dungeons after class with a Ravenclaw pointing her wand at them viciously and threatening their existence. Yes, Hermione Granger was livid.

"I don't know what part of this you think is funny, Draco but I can assure you sticking your nose into other peoples business isn't nice. And you, Harry, why would you risk things further by participating? We're all under the microscope right now and somehow you missed the part where you would be exempt from getting in trouble? Whatever it is you and Professor Snape talk about, I can assume even _he_ can't save you from some things."

Draco felt his cheeks flushing and Harry simply looked at the ground as they were both being told off. Both Slytherin's knew that their actions were only defending the Witch, they both wanted to protect her from being hurt even though they were for different reasons. Harry couldn't be upset with her however, he had crossed the line and knew full well she was capable of taking care of herself.

As she continued to berate them, Harry caught sight of something developing off to his right and turned his head a fraction to see the faintly ghost-like image of a bushy tail disappear around the corner, a corridor that only led to one place he frequented on Wednesdays. In his heart, he felt possessed to follow it, but in that moment he felt the slap across the back of his head that brought him back as Hermione finally finished her rant.

"Hermione, I'm sorry." Harry found himself saying.

"You two need to be more careful." She commented, her face still hard but her tone softening.

 **. . .**

Finding himself alone, Harry wandered slowly up to dinner to hopefully make amends with his best friend. He had been stupid and reckless once more and she was right, what if the Headmistress or their Head of House had heard of the incident if Professor Slughorn had reported it? He knew there would be more trouble ahead but as it was, he had not heard from anyone about the incident or the _other_ thing he would be bailed up on. He considered this a win.

Looking into the Great Hall from an angle, he decided to give it a few more minutes before entering. The night was clear tonight and with the wide opened doors, an oddly warm winter breeze encircled him and he found himself wandering outside. The moon was bright, one day after a full view and it sung to him.

 _I've read that the moon can boost the process… But I suppose that would only happen in strong cases_.

He examined the white globe carefully, noticing how it seemed like there was a face looking down on him. He smiled at that, amusing himself with the idea that there may have been a man in the moon. This was a world that had magic, really anything was possible, wasn't it?

 _[… Man in moon. He watches, observes. The man shows the light in darkest of nights….]_

A weird sensation came over Harry at this point but he didn't fight it, he let the wave move through his body and emulate in his chest. It was light, happy and magical. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes for a moment and let the peace sink in through his body.

Opening his eyes once more, he watched the moon, apparently the moon _did_ have a man in it and he was looking down on Harry right now. Unfortunately, he broke concentration when he heard the small shuffling of feet, looking over his shoulder it was Hermione who caught the movement and continued around the fountain.

"Hermione…" Harry saw she had been crying vehemently, her skin blotchy and eyes very red.

"H-Harry…" He responded, sniffling and hiccupping as she spoke.

He didn't really know what to say but slid across the bench and held out an arm to wrap it around her shoulders. There had been few times he'd seen her upset, and even less seeing her _this_ upset. It was clear why however, it was Valentines Day and she had recently broken up with her boyfriend, but this was different somehow. He didn't know how to pinpoint his reasoning, but she seemed hesitant to speak about whatever it was that was on her mind.

Hermione leaned sideways and into her friends' arms, feeling little comfort but more than she had before and felt less alone. Having to deal with her break up to Ron had been bad enough but to have her two friends trying to interfere had confused her, not to mention the stress of having to deflect the red heads advances after Potion's class. She hadn't told either Slytherin about this, but it was time she opened up and spoke about it. Luna and Padma had been good listeners but there were only two people that knew of her sacrifice to the war and one of them she was leaning against.

It had hit like a bludger after breakfast, she had been doing some thinking towards the future as the threat of getting into trouble had brought forward something in her mind. Harry was the only one who would understand this, Ron knew of it but he still had a family to go to when he graduated. Hermione… Well she didn't know _what_ she would be doing now that she had no boyfriend, no parents and no home.

"It's just hit me now…" She started, her voice hollow.

"What has?" Harry asked softly, his gaze looking up at the moon as he waited for a response.

"That when we leave here, I have nowhere to go. No family that knows I exist, no Muggle friends that understand magic or fighting in a war… No place to physically live…" Her voice was forlorn and it caused an ache in Harry's heart, knowing exactly what that felt like.

"Of course you do." Harry moved his head as he held on to her tighter and kissed her hair, "You think you're not welcome at Grimauld Place?" Hermione moved and blinked her sore, red eyes at him with a mixture of confusion and relief.

"Y-You'd let me live with you?"

"Well, until _we_ find somewhere better and sell that creepy place." He smiled sadly at her, wanting her to realize she was never going to be on her own.

"We keep telling each other, _you're my best friend_ , what kind of person would I be if I didn't _expect_ you to come and live with me after all this is done?" Harry tucked a strand of hair behind her air and noticed the same dull grey-like ghost figure formulating in the distance that he'd seen before.

"I guess… I don't want to be a burden or anything." She said, pushing herself back into his arm, "And I certainly don't want to assume. I mean, I was hoping that in time I could go and find my parents. At least just seeing how they are and observing from a distance."

"I have no doubt that if you were to go and find them, they'd look at you and instantly go, _yes that's our daughter. The brightest Witch of her age and the strongest Witch to ever take the Wizarding world."_ Harry tried his best to make her laugh but was satisfied when she at least smiled.

"Having you with me Harry, has possibly made this year a little more bearable." She said softly and he nodded, feeling the same way about her even though they continued to have their ups and downs.

"I can't say our weeks are ever boring when we get into heated discussions."

"They're the highlight, for sure." She sniffled and wiped her nose with the cuff of her jumper.

They were silent after this, Harry letting his friend just cry and get it out of her system so that they could go and get some dinner once the main crowds were done. In this time, he watched the moon, the bright white of the orb capturing his attention and filling his soul with an unidentifiable emotion. It was empowering and exuded strength, making him want to go back into the castle and rip Ron's head off for ever thinking that he could hurt the Ravenclaw.

"Has Ron approached you today?" He found himself asking.

"Yes. He wants me back, says he's sorry."

"And what did you say?" Harry gritted his teeth, the feeling emanating from his chest growing and the silvery figure in the distance getting closer.

"I told him to stay away, that he'd done enough damage but… I don't think he's going to listen." The words had an immense impact on Harry and his gaze hardened as he stared up at the moon.

 _[… Man in moon. Shows us the way, lights a path to follow…]_

When Harry looked away from the bright orb in the sky, standing six feet away from him was a large wolf, silvery in its appearance due to the ghost-like transparency. It looked at him, standing with a defensive stance. It sniffed the air and looked past him back towards the castle. He still had a hold of Hermione but glanced over his shoulder and her head back towards the man doors where he saw the dark outline of someone watching them.

"Stay here." Harry whispered, standing and stumbling sideways when his vision distorted as if he were looking through someone else's eyes.

" _Harry…?_ " Hermione watched him, not understanding why he was moving away.

The Slytherin knew, he could see clearly what she could not and walked around the fountain to see the Gryffindor robes of his ex-best friend standing in the entrance. Oddly enough, he didn't feel anger or bitterness, it was lighter than that and far more powerful.

"She doesn't want to talk to you, I suggest you leave."

"This has nothing to do with you."

"Oh, really? Then why am I here with her? Why is she _with me_ rather than curling up with you tonight?" Harry fisted his hands, strengthening his pose when the red head started to walk closer.

"I always knew it was Harry you wanted, Hermione. I could see the way the two of you would look at each other. You're a proper slag, you know that? Don't think I haven't seen the way you fawn over Malfoy too, it makes me sick."

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Harry flinched at the viciously angered voice of the Ravenclaw who had stepped forward.

No, Harry wasn't going to let this happen, Ron had to know that he had crossed the line and if that meant he was expelled for that reason, so be it. He would protect his friend, she meant so much to him. After everything they went through, all those years of fighting, making up and having fun he would step in and make sure she was safe. The night was bright and the moon showed him the way, it was connecting with his soul and in a moment of clarity, Harry's vision was taken over.

Hermione watched in horror as Harry took a swing at the Gryffindor and covered her mouth as to not scream and attract unwanted attention. When Harry was tackled to the ground she pulled out her wand in preparation of defusing the situation when she froze. Harry was laying on his back and made the strangest noise she'd heard since their third year. It was a howl, albeit a strangled and odd one coming from a human. Then time slowed.

"You're an asshole, I hate you! Look what you've done!" Ron shouted down at the Slytherin, raising his fist and coming down on Harry with an all mighty thump.

Seeing the unmoving form of her friend, Hermione raised her wand and pointed it at Ron out of fear. A man who was willing to fight off an old friend just to get to a girl he had lost wasn't someone she trusted and when he pulled his own wand on her she started taking a step back. There was nothing endearing about the actions whatsoever.

"Come any closer and I'll hit you." She barked, holding her own.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Hermione. I just want to talk, patch things up and go back to how we used to be. I miss you, please, just give me a chance. I'll prove that I can do better and make us work."

Harry didn't really know what was going on but as he rolled over and onto his stomach, it became clear his jaw ached and head swam. It was nothing compared to what he felt coursing through his body however and getting onto all fours he looked straight ahead, right into the eyes of his ghost wolf. It growled at him and he found himself mirroring its stance with his ears gravitating down and flattening against his head. Snarling, he heard a rumble from within which was echoed in front of him. A pressure was felt along his back, as if a weight was coming down on him and he lowered his front to the ground before shutting his eyes at the uncomfortable pain. He could see a light, one that was developing within his mind, a ball of light that grew; it grew bigger and bigger until all he could see was the ingrained image of the moon looking down on him.

Hermione was opening her mouth to warn Ron once more that he needed to back off when her eyes went wide at the scene happening behind the Gryffindor. At the insanely loud and close howl from behind him, Ron jumped and turned around only to come face to face with a salt and pepper grey wolf that reared up and pinned him to the ground. Hitting his head hard against the paving stones, Ron remained frozen in place hoping the sharp teeth that gnashed right in his face didn't tear him apart.

Harry couldn't quite believe this was happening, he was in full control of his body but he could feel that everything was different. Sounds were louder, the image was sharper and his nose could pick up on a _lot_ of different scents. However, in his rational mind, if anyone were to look outside and see this then he would be in a lot of trouble so he stepped away and positioned himself in front of Hermione. He growled loudly, almost morphing it into a bark, his tail nestled between his rear hinds and ears flat against his head.

"I suggest you leave before you get ripped apart." Hermione said, talking one step forward so Harry was partially between her legs.

Frightened of what had just happened, Ron picked up his wand he'd dropped in the fall and hightailed it back towards the castle. He ran straight past the Great Hall and into the moving staircases, taking two steps at a time until he came to an abrupt halt as he crashed into another student. Squealing, he clambered back onto his feet and disappeared down the corridor.

"Harry?" Hermione took a step back cautiously, hoping that this wasn't some cruel trick and it actually was a viciously wild animal that had come to her aid.

Morphing back into the Slytherin student he was, Harry looked at her in shock before looking down at his hands that were now in fact human and not paws. He took stock of what was happening around him, not really understanding a lot but realizing that there wasn't anyone else there and they were now alone.

"Harry… You did it." She sounded in awe and dragged him back around the fountain so they were immediately out of plain sight.

"I – How – What… It just happened, I was looking at the moon and then Ron hit me and this light, a _bright_ searing white ball took over." At this he looked at the moon once more and realized that it had been what he'd seen.

"Wolves react and are driven by the moon, Harry. Werewolves being no exception; wow this is incredible. Harry, you've _done it_!" She beamed at him, her past pain forgotten as she celebrated with him.

"Oh no, where did Ron go? He's going to tell someone."

Hermione stilled at this, remembering that they had yet to be identified by the Headmistress and questioned. Well, there was nothing Harry could do now, he had mastered the ability and she hoped for his sake Professor McGonagall was merciful in his fate.

"Let's not worry about that for now, why don't we go back inside and act like nothing ever happened and deal with this tomorrow." Hermione suggested to which Harry nodded and took her hand, she noticed it was shaking but said nothing.

 **. . .**

Harry felt torn; sitting on his bed it was heading fast towards curfew but he wasn't tired one bit. The adrenaline still circulated through his body and he had been asked a thousand questions by Draco who wanted to know how it happened. It wasn't that he was unwilling to answer these questions but he couldn't remember a lot of it, some of it felt like it happened naturally. Hermione was surprised also, she had thought that through intense meditation that the form would be achieved but there Harry had been, in the middle of a fight and suddenly burst forward as a wolf.

 _Professor Snape told me to go and see him if anything changed. I think this would be cause for a visit… Wouldn't it?_ It wasn't Wednesday but he doubted that he would be turned away. He still had time before curfew, even if it were only a few minutes, so he decided that he would just go and see his Head of House. Being Valentines Day, he'd thought a week ago of devising a devious plan to inject himself into the man's room for the night, claiming that he was there to just talk but that idea had been shot at the realization that _today_ had been such a day.

Leaving Draco to wallow in his Animagi notes, he left and went in search of Professor Snape, if anything he could just tell the man he had found his form and then go back to bed. That would have been enough to appease the itch he had to tell someone and only his Head of House would be able to satisfy as such. Taking a deep breath when he approached the door, he attempted to calm and center himself before rapping gently on the wood.

When it opened, he heard a deep and low frustrated groan before, _'Salazar save me'_.

Poking his head around the door that clicked open, Harry was surprised to see his Professor in such a state of relaxation. He was sitting in the middle of the couch, both arms outstretched and placed on the back of the furniture with his head hanging back against it also, eyed closed. One foot was propped on the coffee table and was precariously close to a short-squared glass containing an amber liquid. The image Harry was seeing set his heart rate up a notch and he cleared his throat to announce it was him.

"Ah, Harry."

"Sir, I'm sorry I'll uh, leave you to – "

"No, stay. I was not expecting your arrival, you're lucky you are not another student." Severus commented, lazily waving his student in but not moving from his spot, only sitting straighter and placing his foot on the floor.

"It is always the same, no matter how many times we tell the students about love potions. The briefing for staff never changes either. You know, Harry, I do sometimes wonder what prompted me to torture myself with teaching over all these years."

Harry let a small smile appear on his face at the man's tone and position. The always guarded and careful man seemed to be figuratively letting his hair down which was refreshing to see. Harry could understand the frustration however; he was never able to accept gifts from anyone on this day out of fear that it was a trap or poisoned with love potions.

"I've never been able to personally enjoy this day, which is a shame because I have a ridiculously sweet tooth when it comes to chocolate." Harry lamented, finally bringing himself to come into the room and sit on the couch.

"There is always at least one student who ingests a love potion. Luckily, though I may be speaking too soon, it is not a Slytherin this year." Severus turned his head and looked fondly at his student, turning his hand that was still resting along the back of the couch so he could run his fingers lightly across Harry's shoulder.

"I remember rather too well when Ron ate the gift a fellow Gryffindor had left for me. To hear Professor Slughorn talk about it, he was almost impressed at the strength of that love potion. Although, it all turned rather sour." Harry frowned as he continued the story, not noticing the fingertips on his shoulder.

Severus hummed, "How so?"

"Oh, that was the time Professor Slughorn then tried to poison _all three of us_ with that mead."

"Yes, I remember. You were very lucky and brave that night."

" _Lucky?_ That doesn't even cover it… Twice in one night I was targeted. Valentines Day is a rough occasion." He sat up straighter and brought his legs up so he could hug his shins, shaking his head lightly.

Severus moved forward and took the squared glass tumbler, keeping his arm almost around Harry in the process before settling back against the couch. He took in a deep breath, looking into the fire and nodded his head at what the teen had just said.

"I second that statement." He replied, raising his hand slightly as if toasting the notion and took a sip.

Harry looked down at the man's lap after this, eyeing the glass curiously and wondering what he was drinking. Usually it was coffee or what he believed to be wine so if he was hooking into the spirits then perhaps he could try and make the night a little easier. He had come here tonight with the intention of telling the older Wizard he'd made his Animagi form but he didn't want to necessarily bring it back to the topic of school.

"What prompted you to come and see me tonight?" Severus asked, enjoying his whiskey.

"Well… I wanted to tell you something but it's school related."

"Why would that be an issue?" Severus frowned, removing his hand from the back of the couch and placing it in his lap, holding the glass with both hands.

"You seem like a distraction would be good right now." Harry shrugged, suddenly not feeling so fourth coming with informing his Professor what had just happened.

Regarding his student for a moment, Severus took another sip, a longer one this time, and considered the progression of his evening. Looking past the teen at a set of drawers along the wall, he nodded in that direction and Harry turned towards where he'd motioned.

"Top right drawer. Let me see how abysmal you are at chess." He said with a smirk, earning a smaller one in return.

Harry could wait to tell the man, if anything were to happen in the next couple of days with the Headmistress, he was going to plead ignorance. She didn't need to know that he'd mastered it, especially if it was going to mean he would get into trouble. He also didn't want to make his Head of House feel inferior because not only were his schoolyard bullies able to manage the transformation, but the son of the ring leader was too. With the man seeming like he'd had a rough day, he didn't want to poor salt on that barely healed wound just yet. Perhaps in a week when things had cooled off, but right now he wanted to be with his friend and happily get defeated in a game of chess.

 **. . .**

 _ **Thoughts on Harry's form?**_


	37. Chapter 37

**.**

 _ **I'm super glad you all seem happy with Harry's wolf form. I was worried it seemed a little cliché but I have my reasons.**_

 **. . .**

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **Wow, thank you! Yes, I want them to admit it also but it's just not time yet.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Interesting you think that about Ron, you might be surprised.**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Actually, I had written a part similar to that…**_

 **. . .**

Harry was alone in the Great Hall studying with the rest of the school. He wondered where his two friends were at this hour because they had promised him they would be there also. Professor Snape was there, it was his day to monitor the students studying, but that didn't mean Harry felt very good about sitting alone. He kept glancing up at the older Wizard every so often, and each time he would catch the man looking in his direction.

He blushed at the latest glance and ducked his head, trying but failing to concentrate on his homework. Pouting gently and giving up completely after a few futile moments, he began drawing his Deathly Hallows-come- _always_ symbol along the bottom of the page and sighed at the situation he was in. It still made his heart flutter when he thought about the image he saw in the mirror; Valentines Day had been and gone but he couldn't help but wonder if deep down there would be a chance with the man.

He glanced up again, just in time to see his Professor spin around and walk the opposite direction. He huffed and smiled at the black clad back as his Professor walked away. No, he didn't stand a chance and when they left at the end of the year – _hopefully he still does_ – he tried to imagine the sour man with a partner. A shiver ran down his spine and an unsavory emotion bubbled within his stomach. _That_ image was too painful to imagine, but he had to forget that he was interested in his Professor. He couldn't look at him and admire the way he stalked around the room, or how he could dominate everyone with just a look, one sultry glare in the perpetrators direction.

He was so screwed.

"Potter, that does not look like homework." Tensing, he hadn't realized the man had backtracked and snuck up behind him.

He glanced up and over his shoulder, noticing the older Wizard had both hands in his pockets and was looking down on him expectantly. _Damn, I really need to tell him about my transformation_ , he sighed and turned back to his work. It seemed his Professor wasn't going to walk away straight away, so ripping out a page from his book, he dipped the quill into his ink and quickly penned a quick message meant for his Head of House only.

He slipped the parchment under his arm and along the table, then glanced over his shoulder to see black eyes sliding over to where the note was on display. He wouldn't have done this if it were a crowded table, fact was there were at least five seats between him and the next person in each direction so it was safe. It was clear the moment the older Wizard had seen the note when a hitch in breathing was heard, even as quiet as it was. Immediately, he understood what he'd just done and bit his lip, pulling the parchment back and tucking it back into his book.

" _When?_ " He felt something tickle lightly at his ear and neck as the man bent down to speak quietly to him, a hand resting on the table beside him.

Now, anyone seeing this situation wouldn't have batted an eyelid. Well, they might have but Harry still had a track record for getting into trouble and no one outside of his immediate friendship group, plus a few Slytherins and Professor's knew that he was getting _therapy_. This meant the conversation would be safe and if not, then he wouldn't currently be shuddering because he could feel heat emanating from the closeness of his Professor's body.

" _Valentines Day._ " Harry whispered back, keeping his head down; to which he heard a low growl and felt his stomach twist.

" _That was the reason you came to see me, was it not?_ " The disappointment was evident.

" _It's complicated._ "

" _Too right it is, Harry._ " Severus was disappointed, "Detention this evening, Potter." He continued in a normal tone, if not lower than usual due to the nature of the study hall.

As an after thought, he moved back into his students space and clarified their location so the teen didn't get any ideas that this was going to be a leisurely and light hearted chat. Harry grumbled, he hadn't been to the man's office in many weeks and registered the tone as one that meant he was in trouble. Well, at least it was off his conscience now and he could start to prepare for the tongue lashing. Unfortunately, when he was about to get back to work and somehow save the homework that had turned into an entire page of _always_ symbols, Professor Flitwick approached them both and spoke softly to the Slytherin Head of House.

"Potter." The squeaky voice called, and Harry turned around, "Professor McGonagall would like to see you promptly."

 _Please tell me that's not why Hermione and Draco aren't here_ , he panicked and quietly packed away his things. This was just what he needed on top of it but it was bound to happen, wasn't it? He risked a glance at Professor Snape who was looking down the end of the hall at something but he still apparently had his attention on his Slytherin because he spoke.

"Tell the truth."

"I can't guarantee that." Harry stood and looked the man in the eye, his face hard and slinging his back over his shoulder.

He could tell the man wanted to say something else but considering the setting he was impressed to see his Professor internalize it all. Whatever was about to happen, he had no doubt that his Head of House would be informed anyway and he hoped that it would be before he had detention that night.

Knocking on the door, it swung open and he was met with an unsurprising sight that also made his heart sink. At the top of the stairs, Hermione and Draco were standing with their heads bowed and Professor McGonagall looking very stern with them both. She hailed him in and he walked carefully but cautiously towards the group. He wanted to maintain an air of ignorance and desperately wanted to know what the other two had said prior to saying anything, so for lack of a better expression, he wore his confused mask. Looking between all three of the occupants as if he didn't understand what was happening and why he was there.

"You wished to see me?" Harry asked hesitantly, knowing full well why he was there.

"I thought the deductions would have been made clear upon seeing your accomplices, Potter." Minerva responded bluntly at him and he gripped the strap on his bag tighter.

"She knows, Harry." Hermione said softly, and he saw her flushed face that showed she had indeed been told off prior to him arriving.

"I should have known this was not a coincidence when Severus came to me when school resumed. What is his involvement?"

"Professor?" This time Harry was genuinely confused.

"Professor Snape caught Draco and I in the library one night…" Hermione added, as if it would help explain why their Defence Professor's name was being thrown about.

"Very well, the reason you are here Potter is because Miss. Granger approached me yesterday informing me that she has begun the process of unlocking her Animagus. Mr. Malfoy has also come forward following the incident that occurred through the weekend that Severus brought to my attention. Using a very scientific and accurate calculation Potter, I have concluded that your involvement is also true."

Harry rolled his eyes and looked to the floor.

"I will take your silence as confirmation. Miss. Granger, Mr. Malfoy, you may leave. Your lessons begin tomorrow afternoon, come prepared."

"Yes, Headmistress." Draco said solemnly, but mainly because Harry was about to be chewed out extensively and gave his friend an empathetic smile before he left.

" _I'm sorry, Harry._ " Hermione whispered, taking hold of his hand gently, then leaving also.

He watched them go, angling his body towards the door and watching as it closed behind them but not without one more sad glance from his Ravenclaw friend. When he was alone with the older Witch, he let the bag slip off his shoulder and half threw, half kicked it to the floor just in front of her desk.

"I'm disappointed, Potter."

"Seems that's all everyone ever is these days." He replied sarcastically.

Minerva wasn't impressed with the attitude and steeped her fingers, resting her elbows on the arms of her large chair. She considered what she was going to say next, perhaps a demonstration of the technique so she could see for herself if Hermione Granger's account of his form was correct.

"Why do you think that is?"

"Because everyone has this image of me, they want to put me in this neatly defined box and pretend that _everything is okay_. It's not though and I feel restless."

"Is that why you thought to take on this journey to become an Animagi?" Minerva wondered what had motivated him to do such a dangerous act.

"I've always wondered what it would be like to try it. My father did it, along with his friends who were all able to achieve their forms. No, I didn't know if they struggled with it but it seems rather straight forward, if not lengthy."

"You speak as though you know it well." Minerva sat forward and Harry bristled at the likeness she showed from her predecessor.

"Obviously…" Harry narrowed his eyes but that was only through confusion for where the conversation was going, "What Witch or Wizard would embark on such a difficult process if they didn't do their research?"

"That wasn't what I was referring to, Potter. Your friends came to me for help, I can only assume that because you have not, that you do not require my assistance." Harry swore her accent thickened as she spoke but what surprised him even more was the lack of anger.

"Harry," Minerva stood and walked around her desk, "I am not the evil Witch that needs to be feared. Do you think your father and his friends embarked on their transformations alone?"

Harry blinked at her, wondering if she was implying what he thought she was.

"In fact, when I found out what they were up to I took it upon myself to ensure they did so in a safe environment, away from prying eyes. Their reasons for doing so were genuinely for Remus, and I know this because prior to their involvement during his full moon, it was _I_ that would look out for him."

Harry blinked again, his emotions starting to build.

"You aren't a bad person for wanting to do this for yourself, however I must impart to you the seriousness of the implications should you have done this once graduating or if it hadn't come to light. I am going to ask you, and you will tell me the truth. Have you completed the process, are you a Wizard with Animagus abilities? Think very carefully before you ans – "

"Yes." Harry cut her off, Professor Snape said he needed to be truthful and he would honor that now he knew he wasn't going to be arrested.

"I see." Minerva patted him on the shoulder and then went quiet.

Harry then wondered if he'd done the right thing. Did he now show her? Should he offer, or would that get him into trouble? It couldn't really get much worse than this though and he took in a deep breath, wondering if a transformation was even possible now that he didn't have the moon for guidance. He had been too scared to attempt it again since the incident and closed his eyes to concentrate on finding the magic he needed.

"Go on, Potter." The Headmistress's voice was loud in the silent room, "Show me."

Focusing his energy, Harry found the wolf waiting for him and imagined himself as one with the animal. He could feel gravity taking his body down towards the floor but it wasn't too low that he couldn't see over her desk. He blinked at her from this new height and flexed his hind legs and shoulders as he got used to the feeling once more. He felt different, his skin felt like he was wearing a thick winter coat that had no lining but his backside was the opposite and he tried to turn around and look at himself only to find that he wandered in a circle.

"Well I never." Minerva commented, coming around the side of her desk once more and folding her arms as she looked down at the dark grey wolf.

"This is splendid, Harry." Albus commented from his portrait but Minerva whipped round and reminded him that he wasn't supposed to be there.

"The last thing I need is for the other students and staff to hear about this, Albus. You remain silent or I segregate your portrait into an isolated and undisclosed location."

That promptly put the grey Wizard in his place and he remained silent, much to Harry and his Headmistress's satisfaction. She looked him over carefully and pursed her lips, deep in thought. Each animal had their own distinct markings that could be used as an identifier and if she was going to be filling out the necessary paperwork for her student, she needed to know what these were. She had her own of course, what kind of cat had oval rim-like markings on their face unless they represented glasses that she wore regularly?

"I wonder what markings you have." She mused and she stepped forward, crouching in front of him.

Feeling intimidated by the scrutiny he was receiving and self-conscious that he was now just as tall as her as she dropped lower to the floor, he sat awkwardly. He looked at her, blinking every so often and watching as her own eyes scanned his body. Following her gaze down, he knew she was looking at his front legs but the realization that something, _a little more intimate_ , could be seen at this angle he brought his paws together and blessed the Godric Gryffindor that she couldn't see how red his face would have been.

"There appears to be no mark on your forehead like I would have thought, but then your scar has disappeared, hasn't it." She spoke mainly to her and then picked up Harry's right paw which was almost as big as her hand, turning it so she could see the underside of his leg.

Just as she had thought, there were narrow lines that could be seen in the fur from where his self-inflicted scars were and wondered if that meant he had more on his other leg. Nodding to herself, she placed it on the floor and then went for his left paw, turning it as she did with the other and noticing thicker, bolder lines on this arm.

Harry saw them too and his heart sank at the carvings of two lightning bolts that could be seen amongst the fur. It was pinked flesh he could see rather than darker fur markings but now he knew that they would be what identified him if he were ever caught doing something he shouldn't.

"You appear to be in remarkably good health, Potter. A little thin perhaps, but not uncommon for the Gray Wolf. You may change back now."

Harry did so and pulled his Slytherin robe around his body, ducking his face to avoid having to look anywhere but the floor.

"What happens now?" He asked timidly, looking off to the side as the older Witch went back to her desk and shuffled around with some papers.

"I will document what I have seen and when the paperwork is completed, then I will get you to sign it."

"That's it?" Harry looked at her.

"I am not sure what you were expecting, Potter. A handshake and job well done?"

"N-No, that's not what I meant. I'm not in trouble? Where's the detentions and threat of getting kicked out?"

"Well, if you're offering to put yourself into detention, then I see no reason not to comply with your urgent wishes."

Grumbling, the brunette shook his head, "I thought it was against the rules?"

At this the Headmistress let him see a light smile and she shook her head gently as she formulated a response to her students concerns.

"It is better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. I will instruct you to not broadcast this accomplishment to the wider student body; we do not need the others running around endangering my students. You, Harry, are not known for listening to rules _or_ adhering to them and therefore it would be a waste of my time to expect you not to have run along and done this regardless."

Harry puffed an amused snort, she knew him too well, "Fair enough."

"I understand things are still hard for you, adjusting to this new life without the pressures of war, so I will let this slide and stand alongside you. In the meantime, if there was anything else you wished to discuss, I would be open for catching up." She would never openly admit Harry was her favourite student, but she did miss the daily interactions with him.

Considering he owed her a great favour for not having him thrown out of school and sent to Azkaban, he reasoned that spending an hour with her on more casual terms wasn't the worst thing he had done. So, he agreed and they moved through to the little alcove behind her desk and shared a cup of tea with a biscuit, discussing everything from the Christmas break to classwork.

 **. . .**

Stepping through the threshold into the Defence classroom, Harry lamented that he missed meeting his Professor in his living quarters because this seemed so formal and cold. It reminded him of a time where there was a considerable amount of distance between them both and it wasn't a memory he wanted to hold on to, especially when he felt like he was about to lose something very precious.

"You're late, Potter." Severus barked from the top of the stairs and Harry stopped where he was, halfway between both doors.

"Should we reschedule then?" Harry bit back and holding his hands out either side of his body.

"I see the Headmistress has left you in a marvelous mood." Severus snapped, folding his arms as he stood at the top of the stairs.

"Oh, it was wonderful. It was just like old times with the three of us being told off. I can't wait to do it all again with you. Tell me, should I start screaming now so the rest of the castle knows you're about to add me to a potion?"

For all intents and purposes, Harry had no idea why he was goading the man like he was but it felt so good to let some of it out. He hadn't realized it at the time but these angry bursts had been building steadily for months; he just hadn't felt comfortable enough to say them. Now however, he was at an awkward fork in his journey knowing that he shouldn't be such an asshole but wanting to distance himself due to the romantic implications of being constantly friendly with his Head of House.

"Congratulations, Potter. It seems that in the process of finding your spirit animal, you've also reverted to being the arrogant, self-absorbed individual that your father was. Let me guess, on my way through the corridors I will find myself face to face with a stag, prancing about as if he owns the castle."

"That's rich, sir. Better to be a majestic Prongs junior than a hostile beast that wants to pounce on any student that appears weaker than them!" Harry could only imagine that if his Head of House were to do this process he would be a blood thirsty tiger or crocodile.

They eyed each other fiercely after that, Harry was enjoying the release a little too much but he still exercised some restraint and waited for the man to bait him again. When it didn't come however, he felt the adrenaline of their back and forward banter disappear and he relaxed his shoulders.

"Feel better?" Severus leaned his hip against the railing, his arms still folded.

"Much." Harry sighed, feeling exhausted and the man motioned for him to come up.

"Before you walk through that door, leave the attitude where it is." Severus commented as he positioned the two chairs in front of his desk off to the side, much to his students' confusion.

"That's been building for a few months."

"I assumed as much; there are clearly therapeutic effects for us both." Severus continued, waving at the empty space as if expecting Harry to do something.

The teen just looked at him and shrugged but was given a glare instead. He then clicked as to what he was supposed to do and groaned. He had _just_ been through this with the Headmistress and was now supposed to go on show again? What if things happened and hands were placed in areas that interested other parts of his body? It was dangerous and he was apprehensive.

"Professor McGonagall looked me over, I'm fine."

"And I'm asking for you to show _me_ your form, Harry. I would rather know what I am looking for when I do nightly patrols because as you have not claimed your Invisibility cloak back after a month, it is safe to presume this will be your new technique." The older Wizard leaned against the wall and folded his arms once more, giving his student a glare to enforce compliance.

"Very good, that was not difficult, was it, Potter?" Severus quipped, earning a snarl and finding himself fascinated at the way his students body reacted.

Ears flattened against his head, stance widening, teeth shown and tail curled partly between rear hinds. The teen came just below his hip, so a tall wolf but not padded out like one would normally find. He deduced malnourishment to be the cause of this and continued his observations only to find that Harry had a mind of his own and started sniffing the ground before going towards the fire. With a glance over his shoulder and through grey fur, the teen made eye contact with him before slumping along the floor, laying on his side and soaking in the flames warmth.

Severus supposed that was as good as he was going to get and rolled his eyes. If that was how the teen wanted to play things out then that was fine with him, he had marking to do and he would do it now whilst he had his student in detention. A loud huff and sigh caught his attention once he'd sat and from the angle of the wolf's body he could see the patches of missing fur that ran the length of both front legs.

Yes, it certainly seemed that those scars were going to stay with him regardless of what form he carried himself as. It put a bit of a dampener on the success of the transformation but when Harry's head twisted upwards and found him looking, he quickly looked away and focused on his work. Harry hadn't seemed overly distracted by them so he wasn't going to bring it up now. If the Headmistress already gave him a going over, then she would have seen them also and the comments made about their appearance.

 **. . .**

Arriving at the Great Hall, the tables and benches had been shifted aside to allow the students to spread out and work on their dueling. Severus had elected not to set up the dueling stage for now, rather saving that for the odd occasion he wanted to have a pair demonstrate. There were several groups of students that were clustered together and Severus went to the front of the room, grabbing their attention as he weaved through them all.

He didn't want to necessarily teach the students anything new, this was a time for them to become proficient in their course content which was why the older students were going to spread themselves out and take on smaller groups. Some had done so already, a large bundle of younger years surrounding the Head Boy who was talking to them animatedly. Scouting the hall for a particular group of Slytherin's he came up null and shook his head in a resigned fashion; he likened Harry's attendance as flaky and inconsistent but he didn't see a reason why that would be the case.

Reading over the teen's list of interests and proficiencies this sort of activity was precisely what he was good at. He could not put aside and forget that the teen successfully commanded _Dumbledore's Army_ , this was exactly what that had been. It was frustrating to see Harry not participating and if he didn't show up at all he would be questioning it for the simply reason of wanting to know why he wasn't there.

"Ron, for goodness sake, just leave me alone." Severus turned his attention to the side of the hall where a familiar voice was heard but refrained from outwardly showing his interest.

"Just explain to me why you're with Harry. You didn't even give us the chance to work things out." At this his ears perked up.

"I'm not going to discuss this again. Go away, leave me alone. If you can't understand such a simple instruction there's no wonder you're failing class!"

The Ravenclaw seemed to finally snap and Severus would normally have found this quite entertaining if it not for the sobering idea that it appeared Harry had a girlfriend. The thought caused a halt to any and all thoughts which allowed him to identify an unpopular sick feeling in his abdomen. If what had been said were true, then why hadn't anything been brought up? Did Harry really isolate himself that much with love and romance; or was he just annoyed because it hadn't been brought up in conversation?

"Mr. Weasley, if you cannot concentrate on the reason we are gathered here, then please make a swift exit." Severus commented, snapping back to what was right in front of him and the distressed Witch.

The Gryffindor didn't need to be told twice and scampered away which left Granger standing with her head bowed and appearing to fluster. Severus didn't want to say anything else, it wasn't his place to get involved and he certainly didn't owe the girl anything.

"Thank you, sir."

He hadn't expected to hear such vulnerable words from her and when she glanced up at him, he could see the stress of her situation clearly. Conflicted in how he should proceed, he simply nodded at her before casting his eye back over the crowd and monitoring the students. He was quite impressed with how the event was progressing, all thanks to the seventh years and senior students pulling rank and taking on a few students at a time.

As he wandered the perimeter, he noticed that he had a tail, a Ravenclaw one that stood at a distance but seemed to go everywhere he had. Coming back to stop at the head of the room, he spun quickly to see that she was indeed following him and considered his options. Glancing about the room, he could see that the only other person she might have been close enough with, Draco, was in the thralls of explaining something to the first year Slytherins that had attended.

"Miss. Granger," He nodded for her to come closer, "You may leave if you do not wish to be here. As I mentioned at the beginning of term, attendance is not compulsory."

"I remember you saying, sir." She replied timidly and he narrowed his eyes, not out of irritation, but curiosity and checked the time, "Are you implying I should leave?"

"In light of recent events, I would expect there to be a substantial weight of emotions building that would benefit from coming forth." Severus certainly had an ugly emotion building when he envisioned his Harry with a girlfriend, regardless of whether it was the Witch in front of him.

"Naturally, but it's not effecting me." Hermione answered hesitantly.

"Anyone can see that it is, Granger. Go and find Potter. I'm sure he would enjoy your company at present." He managed to keep his voice level, even though it was the opposite of what was happening internally.

"Well, I would but…" She hesitated and made sure no one else was within ear shot, "He's with Hagrid having a physical examination."

"Pardon?"

"Oh uhm, Harry… Hagrid is assessing his form." Hermione wasn't sure if she should really be saying this but knew that their Defence Professor knew about Harry's Animagus.

 _Well, I suppose that explains where he is_ , the older Wizard concluded. At this, he wandered off once more, spying a group of sixth years that turned as one to ask him a question. He was glad to note that the Witch hadn't followed him this time but appeared hesitant to leave; finally however she wandered over to Draco and sat behind the group. Severus didn't want to think on it anymore, he actually wanted to be outside where his Slytherin was being observed by the Care of Magical Creatures Professor.

Harry was having the time of his life, Hagrid threw a dead squirrel high in the air and with his new ground speed, vaulted off from his starting position and ran after it. With his wolf senses, he was interested to note that he didn't mind the taste of dirt and fur that caught in his mouth when he brought the animal back to his friend. In fact, he was rather enjoying this game of throwing and catching, much to Hagrid's and the Headmistress's amusement.

The physical hadn't gone too badly, Harry felt a lot more comfortable in front of Hagrid who poked and prodded his limbs and stretched his mouth to look at his teeth. He was growing accustomed to the various movements and extra strength he'd gained from his animal form also, he could run faster than he'd ever done so before and it gave him confidence for exploring. On his trot back towards Giant, he looked off into the distance at the tree line to the forest; he could smell the various plants and animals that lived there. Oddly enough, everything had a distinct scent and he wanted to explore them all but still felt hesitant about going in there alone.

Dropping the squirrel in front of Hagrid, he sat down with his tongue hanging sideways out of his mouth due to his ragged breathing. One large hand landed on his head and patted it, stroking the fur back and pushing his ears down, which was nice but it didn't feel like it did when someone else carded their fingers through his hair.

"He seems in good health, Professa'." Hagrid commented, seeing that their game of catch was coming to an end.

"Wonderful, thank you for taking the time, Hagrid." The Headmistress was almost beaming and Harry believed that she was secretly very happy that he had accomplished this.

Harry wanted to keep going and reared up, pushing the squirrel with his nose in the Giants direction. There was a deep chuckle where the Grounds Keeper complied with the obvious request but Minerva had seen enough and trudged up the hill. In the distance she could see a figure dressed in black standing inside the stone circle, apparently trying to be discreet. Her colleague was watching the scene below, eyeing the wolf run up and down the green field and his expression softened.

"I have to say this is the first time all year he's outwardly shown any enjoyment." The older Witch commented as she came to stand beside Severus.

Thinking back to his interactions with the teen, he had to disagree. There had been one other time when they had been at the Malfoy's for Christmas, hearing Draco and Harry both laughing as though nothing was cared for in the world. He had seen a few smiles since then, but seeing how much fun he appeared to have now, those smiles paled into comparison. Perhaps he wasn't doing a good job of rehabilitating his student as first thought.

He was about to turn around and retire back to his rooms for the afternoon when he noticed the wolf stopping halfway back to their gentle Giant and sniffing the ground. The snout then went into the air and in one fluid motion the animal turned its full attention to the two of them up the hill. From this distance, Severus couldn't tell exactly what was happening but he saw the tail starting to wag as if it was happy to see them. Not understanding, he glanced at Minerva who was smiling down at the scene below them.

"I can't help but see Sirius down there, playful and carefree at that age."

Frowning, Severus turned back and watched the grey wolf working himself up more, he could tell because the tail had begun to wag more violently. It made the other two very happy but for the sour Slytherin Head of House, it left him confused. The next thing he heard was a howl, a deep but youthful wolf call that echoed in the natural environment. At this, the animal calmed enough, seeming to have done what he had intended to do and went to walk back towards his other friend.

"The least you could have done was waved, Severus." Minerva shook out the cold she was feeling and tsked at her colleague.

 **. . .**

 _ **I honestly love this playful Harry, it was fun to write.**_


	38. Chapter 38

**.**

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **I know darling, I think you'll like this chapter!**_

 **#i-am-siriusly-sherlocked:**

 _ **Uh oh… Okay, I sent you a message. I'm turning into my favourite authors on there and stringing it out. :3 I promise it's not intentional.**_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **I couldn't resist! This story has been based around Harry's feelings etc, but what about our friend Severus? He has feelings too, and some of these will come out soon.**_

 **#Han22:**

 _ **WELCOME TO OUR LOVELY WORLD!**_

 _ **I am honored to be your first HP and Snarry. If you're looking for other Snarry, I recommend having a flick through my favourites and finding, 'Starched Cuffs' and 'Unregistered'. They are my go to stories, I love them so much. I've had some great feedback from my story, 'Broken' also if you want to give that a go (it was written a while back so excuse any style changes).**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Hmm, he might have but who really knows what that man is thinking sometimes. I agree with you, he would make a great one and... I know what you want to read… It's the second time you've bought it up ;) I hope you're not too disappointed if it doesn't get mentioned.**_

 **. . .**

 _ **I have this really bad feeling that you're all going to hate me just a little for this chapter… I am prepared for the cavalry.**_

 _ **. . .**_

"He did _what?_ " Harry yelled, catching the attention of those around him in the Great Hall.

"It wasn't that bad." Hermione tried to calm her friend but it seemed to be no use.

"I'm going to kill him."

"Oh, how dramatic, Potter." Draco drawled, piercing the vegetables on his plate distastefully.

"This has gone on long enough, you've said no. No means no. How else can he interpret that?" At this the brunette sighed, reigning in his temper for now and playing with his food.

"I'm not saying I want the two of you fighting my battles, but…" _Well, the support was always nice_ , however she didn't really know how to say it.

Draco seemed to understand though and nodded when she'd caught his attention. The only problem was dealing with a stubborn, fool hearty ex-Gryffindor that didn't understand the word, _subtly_. And Harry _didn't_ understand, every time he saw the Gryffindor he wanted to rip his head off but there were two things stopping him at dinner and that was Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. No, scratch that, there were three people; this included the Headmistress.

"Professor Snape was actually really nice to me about it." Harry and Draco both looked at her oddly, "Well, in his _own_ way I guess." She shrugged and the newest Slytherin simply turned his head and looked at said man.

 _Professor Snape being nice to Hermione? Was he feeling okay?_ He huffed, well at least in Harry's absence he was able to trust someone to look out for his friend. The thought was… endearing? Yes, that's what it was and he let a small smile appear which let him forget about arrogant Gryffindor's.

Dinner didn't last forever, and soon the time came where the three of them split up and went their respective ways. Not wanting to let the prior issue go however, Harry stopped part way to the common room and told Draco he'd meet him later. Disappearing around the corner, he put a plan in place and was going to lay in waiting for a certain Gryffindor to show himself after dinner. No one was going to stop him, no one had the right to hurt his best friend.

Tailing three Gryffindor's, he waited until they were almost at the tower before fully showing himself and making his presence known. They all turned around to see their ex-housemate standing there and immediately grouped together. Ron looked hurt, but he didn't seem very remorseful in the current standing.

"Considering she was the love of your life, you don't seem very torn up about it." Harry said loudly, standing a few meters back.

"Considering you lost your best friend, you don't seem very upset either."

"I can assure you, it's very different."

They stood there silently for a few moments, Harry wasn't going to budge from where he was and had no intentions on just walking away after he said his piece. He wanted to see that Ron was gutted about it, and if he wasn't then he'd give him something to be upset about. A bruised ego was just as effective as a physical one.

"Strange, Potter. Did you get lost on your way to the snake pit?" Seamus taunted, but it went over Harry like water off a ducks back.

"This really has nothing to do with you, so why don't you snuggle up with Cormac there and braid each other's hair."

"Fuck you, Potter!" Cormac spat, pulling his wand.

"Come on then, I know you've been dying to do it since the start of the year." Harry goaded, his own hand tightening around his wand.

Ron was visibly hesitating, he didn't particularly want to duel or even fight because he had seen Harry do it enough times to know that his chances were slim in winning. He did have two other boys with him but they genuinely had no chance. Unfortunately, in the grand scheme of things Ron really had no say in the actions of his housemates and the first curse which came from Cormac couldn't be stopped.

Harry blocked it with ease but didn't retaliate. Whilst all three of them had been assholes, he was holding Ron accountable, not the others. Seamus was whispering to Ron and a dark expression crossed the red heads face before the other two turned and walked away. Whatever had been said made something change and he pulled out his wand.

"I've lost a lot because of you, you know." Ron said, his voice echoing in the silent corridor.

"Is that so?"

There was silence after that; it was as if Ron was trying to articulate what it was that he wanted to say. Huffing, Harry shifted his weight onto one leg and waited for the next sentence with a bored expression.

"The family miss you; George and Ginny, especially over Christmas." _And mum, but you don't need to know that_.

"You only have yourself to blame for that." Harry shot back.

"Do I? It was pretty clear from the start that you didn't want anything to do with me and Hermione."

"Really? Then why is she running to Draco and I because you broke her heart? I've been there to listen as she cries about how bad you make her feel. How you suffocate her and control what she does. Reminding her of scars that aren't even yours."

"Is that what she told you?" Ron laughed bitterly.

"How dare you laugh! She was your friend first, girlfriend second and you ruined it all!" Harry's voice got louder.

"Your new fucking friend mutilated her but suddenly that doesn't matter anymore because you're best buds! It makes me sick, I can't see what Malfoy has that could be better."

"Draco has been a better friend than you have been!"

"All he wants is your fame." Clammy hands tightened.

"My fame? I think you're getting yourself mixed up here. It's _you_ that seems to think you can ride the glory that came with Voldemort's defeat."

"Fuck you, Harry." Ron's body started shaking with anger.

"Go on then, show me how you really feel!" Harry pointed his wand towards his ex-housemate but didn't fire a curse.

"That's what you want? Then fine! You can rot in Azkaban for the lies and sins that consume you! _Redactum_." Harry stepped out of the way and sent his own back.

. . .

Severus was sitting in his wing backed chair enjoying an aged red wine, casually reading through Harry's list of interests. Well, it wasn't just interests, it was essentially a mini biography of everything that he was good and bad at. It was pleasing to read, there was a lot of thought that had gone into the list and he could see Draco's writing halfway down. His two Slytherin's had really grown close to one another but he couldn't help but feel a niggle of anxiety when he thought about the depth of that closeness. Draco had never been one to hold many people close enough to know his deepest fears but then Harry showed up and suddenly they were swapping marks. He found the situation disconcerting and strange. Especially when he saw the only item under his dis-interests was _females_ , though it had been crossed out, obviously at a later stage. He hadn't noticed it at first when reading the list and he couldn't help but wonder if writing it down had been a coming out or if this was Harry still feeling confused.

Anyway, back to his reading he chuckled at one trait in particular, _proclivity for rule breaking_. Smiling smugly to himself he could imagine Harry writing it and mirroring his expression. Back over the years he had been so irritated when Harry broke the rules and snuck out, however now that seemed very different and almost found it endearing. Of course, it was completely ridiculous to think such notions, but he couldn't help that in the safety of his own private rooms, letting himself smile.

"Severus?"

He nearly shot out of his skin when he heard the voice from his fire. Putting the parchment and goblet aside, he went over to his fire and addressed the Headmistress. Her terse voice was evident, even in the flames, and immediately his face soured.

"If this has something to do with Malfoy and Weasley, then – "

"Not quite."

Sighing, he acknowledged her request and went to his bedroom, adorning his usual robes and changing back into his shoes before stepping through the fire. The messed up red hair he had half expected to see. Harry on the other hand he had not and immediately took back the endearing feelings he'd experienced just moments prior when thinking about the teen breaking rules. Gritting his teeth, he stepped forward and stormed over to where they were all standing. As he passed Harry, his hand rose up and with a quick swing, smacked the teen on the back of the head.

"This better be good, Potter. You are skating on very thin ice." He commented, noticing that he was last to the party and that his Gryffindor head counterpart had already arrived.

"Quite frankly, I am at my wits end with you Mr. Weasley. This is the third time you have been caught disobeying school rules."

"I didn't start this one." He replied weakly and Harry huffed, but then felt a dark presence from beside him and caved his shoulders.

"And you, Potter. This is disgraceful behavior. Severus, so you are up to speed; these two were caught dueling in the corridor."

"And I assume this was not for educational purposes." Severus snarled.

"Well technically – "

"Potter, I suggest you quiet immediately." Minerva clucked and he sighed, feeling very small suddenly.

"As I understand it," she continued, "An altercation regarding Miss. Granger had these two locked in a duel though the reasons seem varied."

Harry refused to look up at this; he didn't have to put eyes on his Head of House to know the man was bitterly disappointed in him. His head tingled from where he'd been hit too and it didn't help that there wasn't much space between them. Perhaps addressing Ron like this hadn't been the correct thing to do, it had been reckless and stubborn. Not very Slytherin at all, and he hated to think what Hermione would do once she found out what had happened.

"Regardless of who started this engagement, Pomona was quick to extinguish it. The two of you are leaders, role models for the school. I cannot understand how things went so wrong between you both but I am putting an end to this rivalry."

"You're telling _me._ " Ron injected quickly and it went almost unheard.

" _If you weren't an asshole_ – "

"Potter, shut it." Severus snapped, hearing both students whispering under their breath.

"I am going to ask you once more, what happened that has caused this rift? You were fierce friends up until a few months ago." Minvera was sitting and looked at her students seriously.

Severus wanted to know also; this had to be more than just female issues and judging by the expression both students currently wore he would wager that his assumptions were correct. Harry seemed to be looking at something rather captivating in the stone floor he stood on and Weasley's face reddened.

"No? Nothing?" Minerva sighed, clasping both hands in her lap.

"Ron is under the impression that he can skate through this year because he defeated the great Lord Voldemort." Harry hissed quickly between clenched teeth.

The name sent a chill down Severus's spine and he worked hard in an effort to not clobber his Slytherin for uttering the disgusting and vile title. He had not been a lord, not in the slightest. He had been a deranged psychopath that could never see reason, even when answers were in front of him the entire time.

"I will ask that you refrain from mentioning that name, Potter." She reminded but he shook his head in frustration.

"Why does everyone skirt around it? It's like you're all still scared. Ron, you can't expect that the Auror division at the Ministry is going to offer you a spot _just_ because you had a part in all this. If they did that for every applicant they'd be over run with substandard Witches and Wizards!"

"Oh, says the one who could walk in there tomorrow and be Head Auror?"

"Why would I do that?"

" _Because!_ You're all everyone ever talks about. Oh, how wonderful it must be to be Harry Potter. Girls swoon in front of him, crowds part when they see him, parents wish you were theirs!" Ron had turned and was now facing Harry.

"You still can't get over that can you? That fucking locket – "

"Potter!"

" – Only showed your fears, and you've faced near death by now! How can you still be hung up on it?"

"So, you get Hermione and you get the fame? Did you ever consider there's other people in the world except yourself?"

Harry growled and wanted to let the wolf out but he knew that would be pushing it. Ron was bringing all this up now? The sudden tension in his neck had him stretching it just as he was about to step forward but a hand clamping on his shoulder stopped him and he was wrenched in the other direction.

"Perhaps these boys need time to cool off, Minerva." The Gryffindor Head of House commented, stepping forward also but not coming any closer to her student.

"I agree. As punishment for your actions, you will each be receiving fifty points from your houses and will serve detentions, meals, classes – the _lot,_ sitting together until you can work this out. Three weeks of detention, four times a week including the weekend should motivate you for a start. These will be assigned between Mr. Filch, Hagrid and your respective Heads of House."

Harry and Ron both groaned at this, sharing the animosity.

"Mr. Weasley, you may go. Potter, you are to stay, I need another word with Severus." Harry sighed and rolled both eyes which was covered by his long bangs.

He knew what was coming of course, he shouldn't have done it but Ron was unharmed. There was no way he'd be leaving marks because that would have been stupid. Everything was fine until Professor Sprout had shown up and sent him flying into the adjacent wall. Actually, when he shifted his weight onto one leg, there was already a strain happening in his lower back and thigh from the impact.

When they were alone, Minerva walked around her desk and right into Harry's face. He hadn't been expecting it and gasped, looking at her after taking a large step backwards… right into his Head of House. His Slytherin cloak hid them, but he felt two hands slide down onto his hips, whether it was to hold him in place or something else, he didn't know but wasn't escaping as it was. They felt comforting, grounding even. With the Gryffindor's now gone, his entire demeanor changed and relaxed against the solid body behind him.

"Just because I do not seem outwardly irritated with your quest to follow in your father's footsteps, does not mean I approve of the course of action you took. You are lucky Professor Sprout had been informed of your new abilities otherwise the outcome would have been much different."

"Potter, explain." Severus gripped tighter, earning a wince from his student as he had unknowingly pressed on tender flesh of the teen's hip.

"Look, Ron and I are at loggerheads but I'm trying to prove a point."

"A point? And attempting to rip his limbs apart was, _proving a point_?" Severus commented sarcastically.

"Did you not hear what I _just_ said to him?" Harry's voice raised a level.

"What you did tonight was reckless." The Headmistress interrupted, "Severus, I expect you to handle Potter better in future. Perhaps being on a level playing field will allow the two of you to work through these issues." Minerva's expression wasn't giving much away and Harry looked between them both in confusion.

"I want you sitting up the front at all meal times, all classes, everything. We will be keeping a very close eye on you, Potter." She finished, effectively dismissing him.

He looked at her for a brief moment, unmoving but nodded after a beat and looked over his shoulder to his Head of House. Finding him already glancing his direction, he knew tonight wouldn't be over and once they walked out of the Headmistress's office it was only going to start again. It was a slow trudge to the door and an even longer one descending the stairs that was made in silence. Hesitating at the bottom step, he followed his Head of House a little while before plucking up the courage to say something. When his mouth wouldn't open, he elected to remain silent all the way up until they reached the turn off for Slytherin common room.

"Sir?" Harry frowned as they went in that direction and not the one of his Professor's private room.

He received no response as they walked the corridor and was left to wonder what would be happening. Was something going to be said to the rest of Slytherin and he would be made to stand at the front of the room whilst his pride was stripped down even further than it was? Professor Snape was never an easy person to read but in this instance he would have liked to be spoken with. Anger was much better than being ignored he realized, especially when the password was spoken and portrait held open for him.

"Are we not going to talk about this?" Harry asked warily, his voice low.

"Potter, for my attention you must act as a respectable Slytherin student. To receive praise for good behavior, one must first observe such actions. What you did this evening not only disrespected Slytherin and your housemates, but your Head of House also. Use this time to think about how you reacted this evening and the position you have put me in; hopefully with space you will begin to realize just how like your father you have become with the recent development of magic."

As Severus spoke, Harry wanted to shrink smaller and smaller. He hadn't thought that after this he would be pushed away; it made the pain and fear of anxiety develop in the pit of his stomach and he wrapped an arm around his midsection to ward it off. The vision of his Professor started to blur and eyes stung at the development of tears which appeared from nowhere.

To make matters worse, at the end of the speech, the older Wizard simply turned on his heel and strode away, leaving him to hold the portrait open, able only watch as his pillar of support disappeared into the darkness.

 _I really messed up tonight_ , he concluded, hanging his head and walking through the common room. He ignored the whispers as best he could but when he made it into the dormitory he had to face the irritated blonde Slytherin who not only blatantly ignored him but also walked out as he stepped in. It was isolating and saddening; making him feel alone and cold. The fire in the room did nothing to stave this chill, it would only be cured by the one thing he couldn't have.

 **. . .**

Cool air rustled brunette hair, causing it to brush across red rimmed green eyes that stared off into the forest. Running a hand through those growing locks, Harry pulled the hood up over his head, catching the hair beneath thick material so it wouldn't bother him. Hermione, Draco and Professor Snape, three key people in his life and all of whom were keeping their distance for drastically different reasons.

Hermione's reasons were extremely valid, he had gone against her wishes and approached Ron when he shouldn't have, caused trouble where it wasn't needed, and negative attention that could have done without. Of course, he knew that his reasons for bumping heads with the Gryffindor stemmed further than Hermione breaking up with him for being a bigoted asshole; however with true Gryffindor style, she wasn't listening to it. Rationality did not win out in this situation, and possibly nailed the last spike in his coffin over the issue with her, pushing his friend right into the open arms of his new housemate, Draco.

The blonde didn't seem to be spending any more time with her than he usually did but they had banded together in class since Harry had to sit up the front of the room. If he hadn't wanted for them to get closer, his actions were doing the opposite and with the special Animagi lessons they were getting from Professor McGonagall, he could feel them both slipping away from him.

Then there was Professor Snape; they had their Wednesday therapy time in the classroom, which had been the final straw in Harry's resolve. They hadn't spoken about anything in particular; mainly it was focusing on not breaking down in front of the older Wizard. He had successfully managed to skate through the shortened time until he stepped into the shower that night and everything boiled over. Sitting on the floor, staring at his scars and wishing he could inflict more had seen him crying to exhaustion and sleeping in the following morning. Luckily, Professor Flitwick had seen the state he was in and turned a blind eye to his tardiness, reprimanding him lightly when class had ended.

Now however, Harry sat on his rock overlooking the forest and Hagrid's hut, wishing he had the balls and restraint to wander into the forest alone to experience something other than what he was feeling currently. It was a mixture of sadness and regret, guilt upon anxiety and it made him feel physically ill. Unfortunately, it wasn't going to get much better with lunch fast approaching and he wanted nothing but to skip it if it weren't for the fact his attendance was compulsory.

Hagrid was approaching him as he slid off the large rock and the Giant came over to him, asking how things were going. He obviously hadn't been informed of the trouble that had been brewing and the light scolding had been expected. His tears however had come as a surprise to the Grounds Keeper and he wrapped his large arms around his smaller frame in an aid to provide some comfort.

"It's really tha' bad, 'Arry?" Hagrid wondered, racking his brain to think of something that would cheer the young cub up.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the next time she chucks me out of school. I don't want that to happen… Hagrid…?" Harry stopped in his tracks, almost being clotheslined by the huge arm that had kept walking.

"Yer?"

"Am I as arrogant as my father was?" He had to ask, he really didn't know all that much still about how his parents acted in school.

"James? Er, well… Ya see 'Arry – "

"He really was like that then." Feeling deflated further, Harry sulked and walked on and not wanting to hear the rest.

"The thing you need ter' realize 'Arry is tha' he seemed ter' know wha' he wanted." Hagrid walked onwards also, scratching the back of his head, "Always confiden' and charming."

 _And I'm the opposite but completely the same_ , Harry thought but didn't verbally respond to his friend and kept walking.

"Come an' see me after lunch, I'll get cha' a treat."

Harry looked at the innocent and excitable face and couldn't help but string together a partial smile sensing the enthusiasm. Nodding, they went their separate ways and Harry sat in front of Ron who had beaten him to it. The red head bristled when he sat down but they did nothing but glare daggers every once and a while. Nothing had changed over that week except for Harry's frazzled nerves that felt like they could snap completely at any given moment if someone didn't start paying him some attention. It felt lonely where he was and the humor of his Animagus wasn't lost on him, _a lone wolf; rather fitting isn't it, Harry?_ He mused silently.

Glancing around the hall for nothing better to do, he spied Hermione laughing and interacting with Luna and Padma. It was really good to see her smiling and having fun, she looked tired and he could tell that she was still upset with all that had gone on but there wasn't anything he could do about it now. Draco looked forlorn as he sat alone with the Slytherins, it was a stark contrast to the Ravenclaw's and he desperately wanted to go and sit with the blonde, any company was better than watching a pig stuff its face.

They made eye contact from across the room but Harry was given a death dagger before being pointedly ignored once more. It was growing tiresome, no one wanted anything to do with him and it had begun eating away from the inside. He thought these feelings had been done with, that they were gone; but if it were possible they seemed to have doubled with intensity. It made him feel helpless within his own skin, like he wasn't in control of anything or any _one_ because it was to do with others emotions. Out of everyone, he wanted his Head of House to notice him the most because they had reached a point where they were friendly and the safety that was brought with that friendship spoke volumes.

Of course, he too was ignoring Harry and that's what made the teen feel even more vulnerable. It took him back to a place within his mind, a dark and dangerous area that had been locked away for a few months… only to re-emerge when times were getting tough again. He could feel the wood of his wand pressing against his thigh, almost calling to him, daring him to do it once more just to feel something again. _No one would even notice if it was my leg…_ He considered it seriously, unknowing that his dark thoughts had caused the boy in front of him to shift uncomfortably at the dark aura he'd now sported.

It wasn't until Hagrid called out that he was leaving after lunch that Harry's thoughts were pulled away and together they spent the afternoon mucking about near the waters edge. It seemed the playful and mischievous side to the brunettes personality was easily tempted as he sprinted between the shore and water, playing with Hagrid as he threw a stick. It was juvenile really, but Harry was welcoming the change in pace. Someone was noticing him, someone cared… How could he hurt himself when people like Hagrid existed in the world?

Quite easily it seemed.

Severus was in his classroom, considering how he was going to rearrange the furniture for his classes in the new week when his owl came soaring into the room and depositing something on his desk. Pocketing the wand he'd been tapping against his chest in consideration, he wandered over to his black owl and gently ran two fingers along its head and back.

"What in…" He trailed off, seeing the familiar wand rolling to a stop against an ink pot.

He had studied the length of Harry's wand many times when he'd had possession of it and recognized it instantly. If the teen was seeking out his owl to send this to him it had to mean something, and that wasn't a good sign. His bird was also acting strangely, as if he'd seen a ghost or was troubled; this was another dangerous tell and immediately went in search of the boy who was sending him a message.

Sitting at the bottom of a shower cubicle, Harry's chest heaved with the enormity of his actions. The hot water running over his head, chest and legs, created a pool around him that was slowly turning red as the blood trickled from the slice on his inner thigh. It was a desperate act, one he thought had been overcome but not having the support of the people he cared about had him reacting in a way that was detrimental to his health. He wasn't proud of it, not in the least, and therefore didn't deserve to have his wand. The owl he'd summoned, hoping it was Professor Snape's, was a last minute idea. If Draco or Hermione knew what he'd done, there was a great possibility that those friendships would be severed forever but his Head of House understood… At least, there was burning hope that he did.

His sobs were heavy and harsh, his lungs hurt from the intensity of it all and eyes burned from the tears. However, they paled into nothing when he felt the throbbing along his leg, it was only one cut, three inches wide and horizontal across the top side of his thigh. No one would see it there, and no one could make him show them, not with the location of it. So, he was safe; or so he thought when the presence of a positive energy source made itself known.

 _The Doe._

It appeared at the entrance to his cubicle. Professor Snape had got the message but instead of filling him with peace it did the opposite. _What have I done… He's going to be mad, he'll think I tried something stupid –_ regardless of the fact he knew he had – _He won't want anything to do with me._ Sitting upright, his eyes sprung wider, _he'll report it to Professor McGonagall, I'll go to St. Mungos…_ His rapid thoughts at the presence of his mother's doe did absolutely nothing for his confidence or sanity. Only when someone came barging into the shower room did he finally stand, wincing at the muscle pulling where he'd cut it and rinsing himself off. Without his wand, he wasn't even able to _try_ healing himself.

Washing his tears away in the water, he cleaned himself up the best he could before limping towards the door; the white towel wasn't going to be forgiving in hiding the evidence of what he'd done. He covered the spot with his clothes, pulling on his hoodie to cover the top half of his body. The dormitory was empty when he arrived and he quickly pulled on a fresh pair of trousers, only pulling them partially so he could hold his tee over the cut to keep some of the flow at bay. He needed to wrap something around this so he wouldn't bleed out everywhere and immediately grabbed the spare tie he'd used prior when he first cut his wrists.

When he was done, he sat numbly along the edge of his bed staring at the wall in front of him. He didn't know what to do now but he felt tired, exhausted from the adrenaline drop during the shower. He felt relaxed but tense simultaneously. Being so early in the afternoon, he decided just to get some sleep and hoped he would wake up in time for dinner because the last thing he needed was the Headmistress coming to find him.

 **. . .**

"Potter. _Potter!_ "

Harry grumbled and rolled over, looking blearily over his shoulder at the source of the noise. It was Draco and he looked unimpressed to say the least. Whilst they weren't talking to each other currently, it was nice that the blonde was trying to keep him out of trouble and had woken him just in time for dinner. The throbbing in his leg had gotten worse over the course of the rest he'd had, but at least when he pulled back the covers and saw the blood soaked trousers and sheets, the cut had started to self-heal. One knock and it would be a different story, so he was careful as he got changed and limped towards the Great Hall.

Feeling his heart race as he approached the large hall, he swallowed a bit of his pride and anxiety, holding his breath as he attempted to lessen the limp he had developed. This meant he walked slower and only the keen observer would have noticed the way in which his stance had changed. That one person who _did_ see it was part way through his meal and paused mid sip of his wine, looking over the rim and narrowing his black eyes.

Yes, Severus had been avoiding Harry for the week, not wanting to condone the negative behavior that was developing. It had been a low blow to liken him to the bastard father at the time but the teen needed to understand that just because he was developing new and stronger magic, he didn't need to change the person he was. An arrogant and self-entitled student wasn't going to get very far in Severus's view, and that was exactly how Harry had been turning. He had done something similar with Draco in their younger years, whilst he openly played favorites with his Slytherins in general, he would never expect that behavior when they were with their own.

 _He is limping, I wonder if that would be why I now have his wand?_ Severus swallowed the liquid finally and set his goblet down. His expression gave nothing away but it wasn't lost on his student who seemed to be looking anywhere his direction. Both amused at the shocking job he was doing of hiding the pain and concerned that there was indeed something going on, he resolved to pick the teen up on his way through. If this was a cry for help, then Harry was screaming at him clearly.

"How did you do it? The wolf thing?"

Harry froze on his way to dig some mashed potato into his mouth when Ron asked the question. Oddly enough, it hadn't been mentioned in conversation up until now. That wasn't to say he wanted to talk about it however, especially with the one person who seemed to unsettle his inner wolf on a consistent daily basis.

"Not easily." Harry replied, not looking up.

That was the end of any conversation, Harry glared down at his partially eaten dinner and decided he'd had enough. He just wanted to go away and be alone seeing as that was all he did for the past week. The thought was depressing but not entirely foreign. He went to stand, only to hear his name being called from the front of the room. The deep voice caused a cold shiver to work its way down his spine and with a hesitant angling of his head, he looked up to see his Professor standing, pointing to the backdoor that led into the trophy room.

He didn't move right away, he gave the man a head start before slowly and carefully, trying not to limp, moving towards that direction. The door was held open as the older Wizard preceded him and when it shut, the coldest of bone chilling sensations sunk into his shoulders and back. Feeling like he'd been hit with an ice pick at the hips, he was forced up against the wall and pinned there. In the faintest of lighting that was produced by a wall mounted flame, he could see his Professor searching for something in his eyes which caused a light whimper to escape; especially he felt a pressure against his leg which had been cut.

" _What_ have you done?"

The words rung dangerously vicious in the silent space and Harry swallowed a lump that had lodged itself hard in the back of this throat. Apparently, the message he'd sent with getting the man's owl to take his wand had worked _too_ well; did he know what kind of action had happened or was he looking for the answer to where the cut was?

"I-I d-didn't know – wha – how to d-deal – " Harry screwed his eyes closed and whined when his Professor's leg forced him further into the wall, aggravating the cut that he had no idea was there.

Severus stopped and moved back, seeing pain and terror developing in his Slytherin's green eyes when they reopened. A quickly shot down gaze to the ground had him glancing down also but with the poor lighting he had no idea what had captured his students attention. Pulling his wand out and casting more light, he saw the dark wet patch growing downwards on one leg. Noticing the redness that became more prominent, Severus bit his tongue and let his expression show his emotions.

Glad that they were away from prying eyes, he grabbed Harry by the upper arm and dragged him along the pathway. By now he assumed Harry would have known about the quick passageway from the upper levels down to the Dungeons but one glance at the disorientated and confused face, he realized his assumption had been incorrect. The walk from this corridor to his quarters was not far and when he reached the door he threw Harry in, the younger Wizard stumbling with the weakened leg.

"Harry, I do not know why this was your last resort, but it was unnecessary. Look at yourself, you can hardly walk. When did you do this?" He wasn't looking at his face, but the leg that was drenched by now and wondered if he should put the teen in his bath fully clothed until he healed it, least he get blood soaking into every surface.

"After lunch." Harry moved to put pressure on the wound, getting his hands bloodied in the process.

"Bathroom. Now." Severus barked, pointing towards his bedroom door and startling the younger Slytherin.

"W-Wha – "

"Do not argue with me." Stepping forward he twisted Harry's body in that direction and kicked the partially closed door open, "On the right."

Harry did as he was told, stepping into the dark furnished room and gaping around in disbelief. This man, his Professor, who wore nothing else but black clothing – rich navy at best – had an entirely black bathroom. The walls were black tiled, floor a black granite marble with silvery patterns and to top it off, a jet black toilet. If he wasn't in so much pain, he would have laughed at this, there was black everywhere, even the sink on the outside with a white interior colour. The large free standing bath was black on the outside also, sitting on the edge, he put his hand down to steady himself, smearing red on the inside white.

His Professor hadn't followed him in; he was busy doing something in the laboratory if the various shuffling and clinks of glass was anything to go by. He sat silently in waiting, looking about and taking in every small detail that might give him insight to his teacher's behavior. As he had thought, everything had its place and the room was immaculate; but that's where his eyes stayed, he didn't dare look into the bedroom that was lit and could be seen from this position. He didn't think he was mentally prepared for that, not when he still felt conflicted about his feelings.

"Get in." Severus arrived with a bowl filled with medicating liquid, several clean cloths and a towel which were dark grey, and a vial with pain relief.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bath, Harry sunk into the deep bowl, feeling very small with its grand size. No normal person should have owned a bath this size it was ridiculous. When a knife was produced, Harry flinched and watched in horror as the blade sliced open his trousers where the bleeding was concentrated, then through his tie. It was a deep cut, as Severus had expected and tore the trouser leg more so he could easily tend to it. Due to the amount of blood and hands on healing it required, he had elected to wear gloves, black obviously, and worked quickly to ascertain how bad the injury was.

Injury was a loose term in this case, it was a self-inflicted wound that should have been treated with Poppy but with Harry being on high alert amongst the other staff he decided his own work would be just as good. Taking the bowl of antiseptic liquid, he dipped a rag into it and placed it across the cut.

"Hold." Severus said, pushing down and causing his student to wince.

Harry did as he was instructed, finding the way his Head of House moved about fascinating. He knew exactly what he was doing, moving about with purpose and grace. Little did he know that on the floor, out of sight, was a medical journal that was reminding Severus what process should happen in the case of magically inflicted wounds. He didn't know what spell the teen was using, so reversing it was impossible; he could have asked but doubted even Harry knew what he was doing.

"Drink this."

Harry took the unstopped vial and swiftly downed it. Immediately he felt the throbbing disappear in his thigh and relaxed his shoulders. A pain relief was just what he needed, the other thing would need to wait and judge the situation based on how he was treated in the next while. Severus took back the towel, wetting it once more before placing it over the cut. Blood was smearing his beautifully white bathtub but he made no comment, instead reflecting on how his student got himself into this state to begin with.

"Does it sting?" Severus wondered, moving the bowl to the floor where he was kneeling on one leg.

"Not really." Harry quietly responded, unable to look up, instead finding his bloodied leg better company.

"Why did you do this?" The tone caught the younger Wizards attention, it sounded tired and wary.

"Because I felt alone."

"You should have come to see me." Harry frowned at the tone once more.

"I didn't even know if I would be welcome. We even had Wednesday night in your office." Harry mumbled, pressing his thigh more.

"Unless your reasons are not valid, you are always welcome."

Harry couldn't stand it, what was the vulnerability all about? Finally watching an off expression fading into an impassive mask as he was so used to seeing, he didn't bring it up and instead watched as the cloth was removed and put aside. The man's wand was soon pulled out and in a couple of quick flicks his skin was sowing together, immediately scarring with a dark purple shade. The next to be remedied were his torn trousers, the blood disappearing from the material as if they weren't just soaked moments ago. Looking at his hands, Harry didn't know how he should get out of the bath, anything he touched would see get dirtied. This problem soon solved when a damp towel was handed to him and he wiped away the red smearing his hands and the tubs edge.

All fixed up and suddenly feeling small and insignificant like he had been walking in here, he fiddled with the towel, staring at his knees and listening as things were packed away. He didn't know what to do, he was experiencing helplessness again; it was exhausting both mentally and physically.

" _What am I going to do with you?_ " Severus sat on the lid of the toilet, slipping off the gloves and dropping them into the sink with a loud sigh.

"You were right. I was getting ahead of myself." Harry twisted so he could look at his Head of House, "Ron was right too, I only think of one person, me."

"Not entirely."

"No, I was. Trying to solve my friends relationship issues, thinking I'm the bigger person by attacking another student, reminding you of my dad…"

"You are not him."

"But that's still who you see, right? I don't _want_ to be like him, I want to be me. It just seems that everything I'm good at, so was he. Quidditch, leadership, being a pain in the ass."

Severus snorted at the last bit, his head bowed and hair framing his face to block out his expression.

"I see my point is proven." Harry dropped the towel between his legs and rested his elbows on his knees, folding them to rest his chin on a forearm.

"Harry, you choose to be a nuisance, _that_ is not hereditary. Now, in matters involving what led us to sitting in my bathroom, I believe you owe me an explanation."

"Can we do this out there?" Harry was seeing the situation as ridiculous, being sat in the bath, filled or not, feeling like a child.

Severus nodded and gathered the items he could take back through with him. The book that had been on the floor he pick up first, noting the surprise on Harry's face as he tucked it under his arm. They said nothing however, and moved through to the living area, the brunette casting his eyes down as to not glance around the bedroom as they passed through it.

Harry settled on the couch but soon found himself being draped in the black blanket he was quickly becoming attached to. A hoot from the corner caught his attention as he hugged the material closer and gave the bird a short smile; tilting its head, the black owl flapped its wings and landed on the coffee table in front of him.

"Harry, this is Evan. I do not believe the two of you have been formally introduced." Severus quipped, filing his medical journal back in its proper place.

"Oh, well our first encounter wasn't the most successful." The teen's face reddened as he remembered the bitten knuckle and half glared, "Hi?" Evan hooted again, extending his neck upwards.

"He is very attuned to others emotions. I suspect he was trying to tell you something that morning." Severus commented, coming towards him.

"I assume you have taken the time to understand why I appeared distant this last week. My actions were not intended to hurt you, nor make things appear isolating."

"Like I said before, I was an ass." Harry mumbled, leaning forward to stroke Evan's head, to which he seemed to enjoy.

"Indeed, I could not have put it better myself." Severus sat at the other end of the couch, smug but appearing controlled enough to remain concerned about his students safety.

"I suppose I panicked, there was no one to talk to, Hermione and Draco have really kept their distance from me and it's not helped by the fact I can't sit with them during classes or meals."

"It would not be a punishment if you enjoyed it."

"Yeah, I know…" Harry sulked, wanting to be held but sitting at the opposite end of the couch.

Desperately wanting to rectify this issue, he sat up straighter and faced his Professor who was stiffly in the corner watching the fire. Being in these rooms was closer than they had been all week and he was feeling the strain of not having physical contact, he wanted to be within those safe, strong arms. He didn't want to ask, but he also didn't want to just move in case he was thrown aside.

"You are lucky that the cut was not any further inside your thigh, Harry. There are vital veins and arteries that could have been cut, if so, we certainly would not be sitting here." Harry nodded, understanding what the older Wizard said and coming to terms with the fact he hadn't even considered it at the time.

"Sir…" Harry needed this, now more than ever.

Severus hummed but didn't look.

"It's been a long week. C-Can I…" He trailed off, sadly glancing in Severus's direction.

Severus finally dragged his attention away from the fire and looked at the desperate teen, knowing exactly what he wanted but hesitant in providing it. Harry could see the reluctance and he felt himself plummet further into a dangerous mindset. He would be supported but not comforted, well, not as a human that was. The glint in Harry's eye had Severus considering the brunette with caution and his black gaze followed as the blanket slid off slender shoulders, piling into a heap on the cushions.

His Slytherin took a step around the coffee table, letting Evan nuzzle the hand before it descended onto his floor as a paw. He now had a wolf in his living area and found it hard to bite back all fleas related comments so desperate to break forth; the last thing he wanted was to find the blasted insects infecting his quarters. Finally though, the wolf form continued around the table and stopped short of his side on the couch. Ears flattened down into grey fur and bright blue, almost grey, eyes openly showed their vulnerability, as did the bowed head. Harry had his front legs pressed together and hunched, appearing solemn and apologetic.

Severus had never been an animal lover, being someone who dissected insects and other animals, he had never allowed himself to grow attached but this was scene was trying him. The wolf looked beaten and sad, he couldn't see Harry at all in this animal; but then that's what the teen wanted, and Severus realized this immediately. How could he stay angry at this animal when it did such a good job of looking so upset?

"This will not work every time, Potter." Severus finally caved, unable to look at those light blue eyes for another moment.

Harry knew he'd won and pushed forward, extending his front legs so he could lower himself just enough to rest his chin across his Professor's lap. Severus placed his hand on Harry's head, finding the coarse wolf fur nothing in comparison to playing with his students soft brunette locks. The tough strands of fur thinned by the ears and twitched where he dug in his fingernails. True to canine traits, he saw both eyes close and the head push into his hand, evidence of these actions being enjoyed.

Harry may not have gotten his hug with Professor Snape, but this was equally satisfying. Especially when the man's thumb ran from his snout, up and between his eyes and spread to scratch behind his ears. If wolves could purr, he certainly felt like he would be; instead a loving whine formed in his throat as he relaxed against the man.


	39. Chapter 39

_**.**_

Things were by no means perfect; in fact nothing had really changed in the next week except Ron's insolence and Draco's testy attitude, which had both gotten worse. Harry had approached Draco about things at the end of classes during the week but the blonde had simply pushed straight past him, seemingly not wanting anything to do with him.

"Uh oh, lovers quarrel!" Seamus taunted, having watched the whole scene.

"Shut your mouth, Finnegan!" Draco snapped, having heard it.

"Oh look, he's sticking up for you. Isn't that cute, two little snakes."

Harry wanted to retaliate and he could see Ron wanted to as well but it seemed they both knew their place and how precariously it sat with the Headmistress, so remained silent. Seamus however, had no such control and wanted to rile the Slytherin's up to make a mistake. He did this by hounding Harry about being so close with Draco, however one sentence and the boys had more ammunition to fire with.

"I'll let Professor Snape know." Draco, who had initially shoved Harry aside, was now directly at his hip, not appreciating how the Gryffindor's were picking on him.

" _Professor Snape_? Ooh, now there's a good one, lads. Potter and Snape, eh." Seamus and Cormac were laughing at the vulgar suggestion but their words had more of an impact on Harry than anyone realized.

"Look how red he's going. It's true then, isn't it Potter? You take Snape up the arse, you certainly seem close this year." Seamus made a thrusting motion from behind Cormac with a leer, which caused more laughing to ensue.

Ron's face went red also, it was disgusting and whether he was friends with Harry or not, he felt sick even attempting to imagine this happening. He would have liked to assume that's not how his ex-best friend swung but he couldn't help but wonder with breaking things off from Ginny and his lack of social interactions at school, if something was wrong. As before however, he didn't step in or intervene, he just let it happen as the seniors collectively went to their next class.

"Hey, Potter. Snape must like it rough, huh? Weren't you limping the other day? Damn, he looked completely satisfied you think?" Seamus laughed.

"Stop, Seamus!" Cormac laughed, "Gross, who would want to even shag him?"

"Potter?"

"No, Snape!" Cormac made a loud gagging noise as they filed into Charms class, Harry holding back and standing on the threshold.

He didn't particularly want to go in there, Professor Flitwick wasn't the most strict teacher they had and if the Gryffindor's decided they'd keep going then he wasn't sure how much longer his restraint would last. It cut him deep, hurt far more than any self-inflicted slice would have been to the flesh or setting his bones on fire with a Cruciatus. Professor Snape had saved his life countless times and continued to do so, even now. How dare they mock the older Wizard, if it wasn't for him then they might not all be sitting there so comfortably.

"Harry, are you coming in?" Hermione's voice was like a siren and hearing her speak with him finally set his emotions bubbling to the surface.

He nodded silently, wiping the sudden tears that appeared so the other students didn't see the Gryffindor's had gotten to him and put his head down. It was hard to concentrate in class, knowing that behind him there were sniggers and quiet catcalls when their Professor was helping a student at the other end of the room.

By the end of classes, Harry had had enough and holed away in the dormitory away from everyone. He wanted to get away and bury himself, disappear and never come back. He hadn't told anyone about his desires for Professor Snape, so their words had no real meaning and he knew that wholeheartedly. It still stung to hear it however; actually he wasn't even sure whether he was more angry or upset. He was furious that they dared to disrespect their Defence Professor, but also upset that his hidden desires would become something for people to use against him.

 _Professor Snape was right, I can't trust anyone with this knowledge… I would be made a fool, they'd eat me alive if anyone found out I liked males._

Frustrated that he felt as though he couldn't be himself, he immediately wanted to seek comfort from the only man that wouldn't ridicule him for the secret desires. Whilst his Head of House didn't know that their relationship actually meant more than friendship for Harry, if he were to tell the man of his concerns, he was sure he'd be supported. The fact that the Slytherin also didn't feel brave enough to leave the dormitory, let alone the common room to face the rest of Hogwarts, he decided there was only one place he wanted to be, where he _could_ be without being alone. Somewhere he travelled to mid week.

Knocking on his Professor's door, he quietly walked in and found the man muddling away in his laboratory. Harry wandered over and leaned against the door frame, biting his lip gently at the way the older Wizards hair fell around his shoulders, partially tied up and out of the way. There was no use in denying he found him attractive; taking Hermione's advice to at least accept things to himself had been a great help. No one needed to know what he truly felt, that was none of their business and whilst it should have bothered him, he wasn't going to let it.

"Afternoon, sir."

Severus was roused rather suddenly; he hadn't been expecting to see his student and quickly pulled the tie free from his hair. Returning the greetings, he missed the frown on his students face as he went about noting down an improved process in the book he had open. Dinner had not even passed, so there must have been a valid reason for him to have arrived at this time. Committing himself to not throwing the teen out, especially after the ordeal of the weekend prior, he decided to let him stay.

"Did you need me to come back?" Harry wondered aloud, seeing his Professor in the middle of brewing.

"No, no need. Read this while you wait."

Perplexed, Harry felt something hit the back of his head and found a levitated Daily Prophet down at his feet. Huffing, he bent down to pick it up and walked further into the room, taking a seat opposite his Head of House. Unsure as to why he was given the paper to read, he did as he was told and opened it out, staring at the moving pictures with disinterest. If this was some kind of punishment for coming to see him, he wished he'd thought to pack his homework and wondered if he should just go away and come back.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked instead, finding the paper boring.

"Improving the curriculum Potion's texts." Severus replied without a beat.

"Huh, a Defence teacher dabbling with Potions." Harry responded with sarcasm, letting the day's stress appear in his tone and scanning the next page of the paper.

Sighing, Severus narrowed his eyes at the younger Slytherin but made no comment. Instead, he focused on the potion he was amending; he honestly couldn't understand how Potioneer's had their works approved when a good portion of their books did not result in good quality potions. Horace, for the good teacher he was, stuck by the curriculum too strictly and the only people benefiting from this were the Witches and Wizards whose books were purchased by naïve students.

"Question, sir." Harry stated, waiting for permission to continue as he read about questionable fire attacks in Britain, "Do you worry that ex-Death Eaters will come after you once you've left Hogwarts?"

Severus paused just as he was about to add the olive leaf; "It is always a risk."

"Where are you going to go?" Harry continued reading about suspicions within the Ministry on who was attacking, oblivious to the outwardly clear discomfort his Professor was experiencing.

"You are highly inquisitive today, Potter." His tone suggested that he would rather not talk about it but thinking the teen wanted someone to talk to, he supposed he would humor his student.

"Sorry, I'll be quiet." The younger Wizard commented, giving the older one a tight smile to show no hard feelings, and he truly didn't but the one sided conversation was disheartening.

Severus was able to stop what he was doing for a moment and simply look his student over. Something had to have happened during the day, he hadn't seemed this upset when he was in class earlier and suspiciously those eyes looked puffy. Anyone looking from this angle wouldn't have been able to tell, but Severus had studied Harry's face enough times over the past few months and years prior to know that something had happened. He doubted the likelihood of self-harm, the brunette hadn't been able to hide the last one very well and his reaction would have tipped Severus off. Deciding instead to make the teen feel better with his next comment, he went about preparing for the next stage, not showing his entire hand just yet.

"Well, I suppose if you are going to continue seeing me weekly, a location may be of use."

Harry's eyes went wide as he looked at the words in front of him, his head bowed so his expression was hidden behind the long bangs across his forehead. It was practically an open invitation to see each other once they left school; he wasn't going to be left on his own and alone. _Professor Snape still wants me around_ , the idea made him almost giddy and certainly far happier than he had been a moment ago. Suddenly, what had transpired that afternoon with Gryffindor's paled into insignificance.

"Naturally." Harry couldn't hide the smile that spread after saying it and he had to look up, finding a smug expression being returned.

"Cokeworth, I reside on a street called Spinners End."

"That's the place you grew up in, isn't it?"

"Yes." Severus shuddered thinking about the township even now but with the possibility he'd have more time on his hands, perhaps he could consider finding new accommodation.

"What's it like?"

The question caused the older Wizard to pause in what he was doing and glance up. Harry seemed genuine with his question with a mystical glimmer in his green eyes. Doing a quick bit of thinking, he wondered how much of Britain the teen had experienced and safely determined that it would have been very limited given his upbringing, from what little he knew about it, and spending summers with his friends.

"Is it a Muggle town or are there a lot of magic folk?" Harry prompted.

"Muggle." Severus replied, figuring he would indulge the Slytherin as he continued with the final steps in his potion, "It was once a thriving working town. Small in comparison to cities and other larger towns."

"So, it's not all woodlands and nature?"

"It is nothing like you saw in the memories, that was a place your mother and I would escape to. We could be ourselves and talk about magic. The town itself centers around a large industrial factory."

"Do your parents still live there?"

Severus dropped the vial in his hand, the glass shattering on the stone floor. Harry's stomach twisted immediately into an uncomfortable knot, his body chilling as if draped in a frozen blanket. Regretting that he had opened his mouth, Harry jumped up, going to the sink where a towel sat with the intention of cleaning the mess up.

"I'm sorry, sir, I – you don't have to answer that." He rushed out, fearing he had over stepped the line.

"Potter, stop." Harry was about to kneel when he looked at the emotionless expression of his Professor, "It is no trouble, go and sit down."

He was so calm, why was Professor Snape calm about all this? If that vial had a rare ingredient in it or had been specifically prepared for that potion then he would have ruined it… Where was the anger and irritation? The towel was taken from his hands and he stumbled sideways as he walked back around to the seat he had previously occupied. _Even when I'm not brewing I cause a mess_ , he thought sadly, watching the wand movements that cleared up evidence of any mess.

Harry didn't speak again after that, he just kept his head down and read the words on the paper that meant nothing to him, yet was the only thing he trusted himself to do. The sporting section provided more of a distraction, the Quidditch roster had been drawn up for the world cup and the preliminary draw was outlined. In that brief moment, he saw a girl, Chaser, speeding through the air and wondered if Ginny was going to be signed up. Hermione had said she was interested in that as a career and he would firmly believe she could get there if she wanted to. The Witch was a determined and brutal player, devastating the Hogwarts competition with her skill.

"Right, Potter," Harry looked up to find the table all cleared up, "Shall we?"

The prior question the teen had asked fell away, he was only being inquisitive, like the man had verbally observed but it seemed they would be moving on. He was rather grateful in many ways, if, after everything that had happened today, he were to be kicked out of Professor Snape's rooms, there would have been no where else for him to go. The safe sanctuary would have been off limits and realization of that reminded him of what Professor McGonagall had said after he'd had the accident with dueling club.

 **. . .**

"I must agree with your leadership and confidence, you would make an excellent teacher." Severus broke the silence.

"A _teacher?_ What… like you?"

The older Wizard snorted, "Obviously."

"I couldn't do that, it would be an insult. If I was even half the Professor you were – " A deep and quiet chuckle was then heard, stalling Harry in what he was about to say when he realized his Head of House was making a direct comparison to his size and height.

"We will leave it for now, shall we?

"You realize that if I _do_ follow this, you'll have to call me, sir." Harry grinned, walking lazily beside his Professor.

What had started as a shaky afternoon encounter had ended up being a constructive session in which they discussed Harry's future career options. Everything had ranged from being an Auror, a Healer, Teacher, Quidditch player, and even a Muggle Chef. Severus had offered him a book he'd acquired many years ago about magical cooking but the teen elected to keep it in the man's quarters so he had something to read if he ever turned up unannounced again in the future. Severus hadn't minded the suggestion, he rarely found his students' presence annoying as of late and he seemed to always arrive when he didn't have anything pressing to tend with.

"Potter, you are more delusional than I initially diagnosed." Severus fought the smile threatening to surface as they rounded the last corner before the Great Hall.

"Oh, come on, one day you will. I'm sure of it." The brunette was determined.

"In your dreams, Mr. Potter."

Severus drawled; losing the battle and giving Harry a special smile, one that he hadn't realized was only reserved for those moments when he thought about his student when no one was around. However, one set of piercing blue eyes had seen this interaction, seen the happiness and carefree nature of the encounter. Narrowing them into dangerously thin slits and grinding abused teeth, the male dressed in Gryffindor robes silently declared war. Things were going to be like they used to, hatred and enemy's.

Harry was pushing the food around on his plate, minding his own business and trying to block out the catcalls and seductive suggestions that were coming from down the Gryffindor table. It was really grating on him and he wished he'd begged to stay with his Head of House who was now openly being dragged into the conversation by Cormac who kept making dry retching sounds. It started to settle when Ron sat in front of him, but he ignored his ex-friend in favour of ignoring everything else that was happening.

"Slytherin's going to lose tomorrow, I hope you know that, Potter." Ron snarled from across the table.

Harry wasn't going to respond, there was no point in wasting his breath on the red head when it would go through one ear and out the other. Secretly, well not so secretly, he couldn't wait for the time where he could join his friends again and just be happy during meal times. With a compulsory attendance, regardless of whether he was hungry or not, it was starting to drive him insane. He didn't know how he was able to last all these years without socking Ron in the face numerous times.

"Bet you wish you could play."

Harry's ears perked up at the comment but he remained impassive by staring down at his plate, playing with the beans. Draco had mentioned this would be a good tactic for not getting riled as it appeared even the sight of red hair was enough for him to start gritting his teeth. But back to the statement, he _did_ wish he could play but he and Draco had made it clear at the start of the year that they had better things to be dealing with than sport. Back then it seemed like a no-brainer and a wise choice. Now however, he was starting to doubt this. Was it due to his mental health improving? Probably. Plus, his Head of House had mentioned the possibility of taking it on as a career once he'd graduated; not that he had considered it seriously at the time.

"It must suck that your only year in Slytherin is going to end at the bottom of the house points and Quidditch table."

It was like the Gryffindor wouldn't quit, he just kept opening his mouth. It wasn't as though he was saying anything intelligent but he could have done without listening to the teen whilst he was eating. Apparently it was too much to ask that he had dinner in peace and quiet.

"Slytherin has really gone to the dogs."

"And what would you know of that, Ron?" He finally snapped, but then wished he hadn't opened his mouth because he was given a smirk.

"I suppose you're right, it's tough being at the top." Ron responded but Harry huffed a sarcastic laugh.

"Really?" Putting his fork down, Harry folded his forearms against the tables edge and glared, "From where I'm sitting you're just a disgraced Gryffindor on the edge of expulsion, scraping to pass your classes with not many job prospects, and you've lost your girlfriend. So, you're really not doing that great, are you?" His voice was matter of fact, he didn't care anymore.

"Fuck you, Potter! Oh, no wait, _Snape_ should be the one to say that, isn't that right?" Ron stood up and leaned across the table, "I'll make sure the entire Slytherin team end up in the Infirmary tomorrow." Harry winced as he felt spittle land on his cheek.

"Say it, don't spray it, _Weasley_." The brunettes voice was venomous as they glared at each other, not noticing how their teachers were paying very close attention to their highly interesting conversation.

Ron however, seemed rather upset by the comment and went around the edge of the table, bringing his hand down towards the flat surface and towards the full dinner plate in front of his ex-friend. Then, with a swipe, the Gryffindor curled his fingers around the edge of Harry's plate and flicked it up. The contents of said plate, containing gravy and the works, upended as it hit the front of his Slytherin robes. Arms went wide as the brunette gawked at the situation, looking down himself to see the plate horizontal in his lap and resting against the edge of the table. His fork clattered loudly on the stone floor but went mostly unheard through the noisy room.

Without another word, Ron walked away leaving Harry with a mess to clean up in front of a lot of people. Internalizing his anger for now, he grumbled and ground his teeth harshly. How dare he, they were sitting right in front of the staff for Merlin's sake as well, what would have happened if his Head of House had heard the comment, _shit, what about Professor McGonagall_ , he panicked. Turning his head in that direction, he saw that Professor Snape _had_ heard the comment though the Headmistress seemed to be speaking with their Charm's teacher and not looking his way.

Sighing, Harry picked the plate off himself and put it back on the table before looking down once more. This was getting ridiculous, he wasn't even making a stand to this and had let it happen. He couldn't do anything about it, not right now in front of everyone sitting eating dinner; but it certainly impassioned him in other ways. He said that Slytherin were going to be at the bottom of the tables this year… No, he couldn't let that happen. This was a year where they could make Slytherin better once more. Take the obnoxious eleven year old Draco out of it when they'd first arrived at Hogwarts and the house wouldn't have been so bad. Even so, not every house was so angelic, there were always going to be the bad apples because someone, somewhere, would be doing something.

Picking pieces of meat and other vegetables off his trousers, he got thinking about the entire situation he was in. Still not knowing what he would be doing once graduating he seriously wondered if a Professional Quidditch career _could_ be on the cards. He was talented enough, not that he wanted to rank himself so highly.

 _I'd need to be playing this year if that were the case… Scouts were always lurking in the stands. Forget that my father was a great player, he was in Gryffindor, I'm a Slytherin._

Why shouldn't he do this? There wasn't actually anything stopping him, aside from the fact the team had been made already and had played three games. Blaise was always complaining that their team just wasn't physically strong enough yet due to the younger players… _Wouldn't it be something for the three of us to go out with a bang. Show every other house why Slytherin is the best_.

Looking over his shoulder to where his friends were sitting, he spied Draco conversing animatedly with Hermione and felt a knot in his stomach, jealousy was probably that emotion he was experiencing. Just past the blonde was Blaise, staring into his dinner and probably wondering if he should show up to the game at all. Harry had been a coach, and being captain of the Gryffindor team he knew that it wasn't always sunshine and daisies… But what if he persuaded them both to play tomorrow and show the school who was best.

 _How petty do I sound?_ He grumbled and continued with picking food out of his lap; but there was a fire brewing, he could feel it with his magic. It was unsettled and making him restless, not forgetting that Gryffindor were still making lewd gestures at him. This stopped however, when a shadow cast over him and he twisted round to see his Head of House standing there with an odd expression, one that seemed to be empathetic but not trying to physically show it.

"I'm fine." Harry said, getting the napkin to dab away at the gravy stain.

"I will speak with the Headmistress."

Harry looked at him again, a frown pulling at his brows but instantly shook his head. This was more than just _he said, she said_. Ron needed to be taught a lesson and taken down a notch, Gryffindor needed to be reminded who was the best. What better way than making an example out of him on the Quidditch pitch. It was the last thing he had going for him, he would be crushed if they lost the game and would be held accountable as the captain.

"No need."

"Do not even attempt to – " Severus reached out to put a hand on Harry's shoulder.

" _Don't touch_ me!" Harry pushed his Professor away suddenly, causing the volume in the Great Hall to quiet.

Severus blinked, stumbling back at the force of Harry's movement. He had only wanted to comfort the teen, make sure he didn't do something reckless that would endanger himself, and others around him. However, with the shock of being thrown aside, he watched the back of Harry's retreating form as he stormed dominantly out of the hall. Something in what Weasley had said obviously triggered something in the young Slytherin but then he remembered what had been said and felt himself growing uncomfortably warm. His eyes darted around the room, noticing mirrored shocked faces from all that had seen. When he sought out Draco, the teen looked pale but curious, his head had just turned around so they were looking at one another after having grey eyes following his housemate from the room. They both knew this hadn't happened before, Harry had never once shaken off his comfort.

"Let's hope Potter doesn't get carpet burn on his knees." Cormac's voice rung through the quiet hall not realizing how far it extended until the Headmistress called him on the vulgar comment in front of the school.

Harry, on the other hand, walked into the dormitory, slammed the door and went to the far side of his bed. Kneeling on the wooden floor and catching the glittering gold off the foot rests on his Firebolt, he dragged it out and threw it on his bed. Talent, he had naturally, _skill_ was only developed after hours and hours of beating on his craft. Talent would win him the game tomorrow, skill would be having the endurance to get through the match without collapsing from fatigue.

 **. . .**

Draco was standing just in from the door to the dormitory when Blaise pushed him aside so he could get through, however he paused in the same spot the blonde had when they saw Harry polishing his broom. They shared a quick glance before Blaise spoke up, seemingly Draco hadn't uttered a single word and Harry hadn't spoken up either which may have had something to do with their supposed falling out but he couldn't be sure.

"Any particular reason for this?" Blaise stepped forward and closer to Harry at this.

"I was thinking over dinner," He paused, dipping more wax onto the rag he was using, "That we should really be using this year as our final hoorah."

"I don't follow?"

Harry looked up at them both, his expression serious and brows knitted tightly together.

"I may not have been a Slytherin for very long, but I know the reputation it holds and what people think about its students. Being in Gryffindor, as you well know, it was always on top. We only lost the house cup once to Ravenclaw and Quidditch cup once to Slytherin in that whole time. I used to be shallow enough to think that it was me, a Seeker, who managed to pull Gryffindor through but it seems they have strong players this year. Even without me as their captain or coach, they are beating everyone."

"You know you're a Slytherin now, right?" Draco said cautiously.

"But the only reason why they could take the House Cup is if they win all their Quidditch games."

"What's your point?" Blaise was curious and it showed in the tone of his question, it certainly made Draco side eye him before looking back at the newest Slytherin.

" _We_ are going to destroy Gryffindor tomorrow." He said confidently.

" _Eh?_ " Both Slytherin's gawked.

"I'm sick of Ron badgering on to me about what a shit house this is. How he's going to beat us tomorrow and take this from us. Damn it, _we_ are the best fucking Quidditch players in this school right now and we aren't even playing!" The passion in Harry's voice was inspiring.

"I have been a seriously shit housemate this year. I'm not even going to blame my weak mental state for the reason that I've had at least a hundred points taken away. I don't want to stand idly by whilst Gryffindor and everyone else makes a mockery of this house. I want to fight, to show people that Slytherin can overcome the hit they've taken in the last decade." At some point through his speech, Harry had stopped what he was doing and had moved around the bed, walking towards the other two Slytherins, his fists both clenched.

"We're graduating at the end of the year and that team we have playing tomorrow is going to get chewed out by Gryffindor. They are ruthless, unorthodox and bullies. I've seen you teaching the team about rules and regulations but that isn't going to get us anywhere with the way Gryffindor play. Ron has thrown those rules out the window because he's only interested in one thing. _Winning_ , by whatever means necessary."

"Are you asking to join the team?" Blaise asked cautiously.

"No."

"Then what's the point in all this? Is it therapeutic?" The blonde asked.

"I'm not _asking_ to join. I'm _telling_ you that I am – and the two of you are as well."

" _What?"_ Draco's mouth dropped.

"I see how passionate you are when the two of you talk strategy with Blaise. You're an asset to the team and I've also had captain and coaching experience. With the three of us playing they don't stand a chance. We weren't keen on it at the start of the year, granted we were all trying to settle back into school and a routine but can't you feel the boredom? Apart from the fact that we are studying purely to graduate, there is nothing exciting anymore." At this he shot Draco a nervous glance, hoping he wouldn't mention their Animagi journey.

"We're both Seekers, that wouldn't work." The excuse was pathetic, and Harry deadpanned him.

"Harry's right." Blaise said, Draco's eyes bulging at the comment, "And you never wanted to be a Seeker, you always practiced with the Chasers."

"Yeah, but – " He cut himself off, knowing any further comment would be futile.

At this, Harry and Blaise faced off, their eyes not wavering as they stared one another down. The brunette ran a hand through his hair, mainly to get it out of his eyes but also because he realized how long and annoying it would be when flying. He needed something to hold it back.

"We don't even have uniforms." The blonde suddenly blurted after a while of the other two being silent.

" _That_ I can fix." Blaise nodded, a smirk pulling at his lips, "Agree to it, Draco. I have to admit, Harry makes a good case. None of us were in the right frame of mind when we first came back but this… This is our last chance to do things that we haven't done yet. Mine aren't necessarily Quidditch related but I know you've wanted to be a Chaser for years and I enjoy the sport. Harry obviously wants to play out his last year as Seeker and who knows where it could lead."

Draco looked unimpressed.

"No one is forcing you, Draco." Harry shrugged, but he knew the blonde wouldn't shy away from a challenge.

"Think on it tonight." Blaise moved forward and held out his hand to Harry.

"What, and have the two of you taking all the glory? I don't think so." Draco huffed, folding his arms.

Harry took the offered hand and they pulled each other closer, not shaking hands as if they were greeting one another, but a brotherly and comradely shake. Their fists sat about peck height and allowed both males to watch the other closely. It showed that Blaise was in; he would do it alongside Harry. It didn't matter if Draco joined them or not, Harry had his confirmation that he'd be allowed to play on the team for the next game and that was enough. If he was then kicked for future games it didn't matter too much for him because he was going to make sure Ron knew who was in charge. He refused to let the teen _and Gryffindor_ hassle him further by allowing him to throw Quidditch losses as an insult.

 **. . .**

Horace had a spring in his step as he meandered his way towards the staff table. Severus took a deep breath and made sure his coffee intake was at the required level before he had to deal with the man. He struggled with Quidditch days, it didn't matter who was playing there was always a buzz about the school that made him wish he could crawl into his rooms and not make another appearance until the following start week.

This morning was no different especially with the two fiercest teams playing, except the Potion's Professor had stopped at the Slytherin table to speak with his team before finally making his way over to sit next to Severus. Excited, yes, but the sour man thought he looked extra positive this morning and was tempted to voice his questions when his brain rationalized it would not be in his best interests to entertain him.

"I have a good feeling about today, Severus."

"I cannot possibly understand why, Horace. We have lost consecutively against Gryffindor for many years."

"Ah, yes, but there is always hope that there will be a day where we _break_ that curse."

Not understanding what had the man in such high spirits, he blocked out the other ramblings when he saw Harry walking into the hall. He appeared focused and in his own world; something which Severus found odd. He hadn't quite gotten over to the refusal of the night prior, he kept reminding himself that Harry had always sought him out, on good and bad days. The feeling it left him with, to see the rage and rejection, had left an impression, and not a positive one. He felt the tension rise once his Slytherin sat in front of the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain and they shared a heated exchange of glares. Sighing and resting fully into his chair, Severus kept a close eye on them both to ensure nothing happened.

It felt like a Draco and Harry clash all over again and the amusement of having a Slytherin and Gryffindor at loggerheads with one another wasn't lost on him. Whilst this burst of confidence in the teen this morning didn't fill him with confidence, he was trusting his student not to get himself thrown out of school by acting stubborn and reckless. There were two reasons for this in Severus's mind; one was because he didn't want to see him fail when he was so close to finishing. The second was for purely selfish reasons that he chose not to dwell on out of fear that he might hurt himself further.

At the Slytherin table, there were nerves rolling off two teens in particular, something that Hermione picked up on rather quickly but chose not to say anything. Draco was acting strange but she figured that he could have had a rough sleep that night, his nightmares having plagued him for the past few weeks.

"Are you nervous?" Blaise leaned across the table, whispering but Draco who was looking down into his food didn't reply, nodding instead.

"Nervous?" Hermione echoed, having heard it.

"You can't say anything, Granger." Blaise made eye contact but only for a brief moment.

" _Oh my gosh, you're playing aren't you_?" She covered her mouth but frowned and tried to get Draco's attention.

"Harry had a pretty convincing speech last night." The blonde commented in answer to her question.

"Is he playing also?" The Witch asked warily, making sure no one heard her and watching as the two males glanced at each other.

She then turned her attention to the front of the hall where her best friend and ex-boyfriend were sitting, shooting daggers at each other. She hadn't really spoken to him in the weeks after his fight with Ron and she wondered if this distance was what had caused a change of heart with the game. She admitted that it hadn't been her intentions to leave it quite this long without having spoken to him but reality of being separated continually from him in class and during meals meant their schedule had been shaken up. What struck her as a relief however, was that he was eating, and consuming food that he should be on a regular basis. It confirmed to her that he was indeed playing also but spared a thought for the rest of the team that were behind her and all dressed, ready for the game.

"What about the others?" She asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"Too bad. If they want to win as bad as the rest of us, they will be happy playing reserves." Draco muttered, not once looking at the team.

"It might be difficult for a couple but in the end, we are _all_ very Slytherin. Sometimes the desire to win overcomes the disappointment of exclusion."

"That sounds completely backwards." Hermione noted.

"Perhaps, but its just the way we operate. It seems Harry is a true Slytherin after all, certainly can't fault him for loyalty of the cause." Blaise smiled, looking at said brunette.

"I don't know why you're smiling, Potter. Better write to St. Mungos so they can admit you for the psychopath you really are."

"With what owl, I wonder? Errol who can't tell which way is north or Hedwig who is _dead_ somewhere in a field between London and the Burrow?"

"That was low." Ron snapped.

"Not as low as the points you'll get today, Ron. You can trust me on that." Harry wolfed down the last of his eggs and took a sip of water before standing.

"I know losing is a hard pill to swallow but I know a potion that will make it easier for you." Smirking, Harry turned on his heel and sauntered towards the exit, he saw Blaise looking up as he approached and gave the nod.

Severus rested his head against the back of his chair, glad that nothing had come from the interactions with the most hated ex-friend. Closing his eyes, he missed seeing his other two senior Slytherins step after his Harry and leave the hall.

 **. . .**

"Welcome to _another_ game of Quidditch! Today we have your favourites, Gryffindor versus _Slytherin_ in a fierce battle for that leaderboard spot. Slytherin can't afford to lose today, this is their last chance for a spot at the top of the tables and awarding of the coveted _Quidditch trophy_!"

Lee Jordan's voice echoed across the field and ignited the crowd into rousing cheers as they waited for the players to fly out onto the field. He sat at the front of the teachers stand, microphone ready in hand but still under the watchful eye of the Headmistress. Whilst Lee had already graduated just before the war, he now worked on a radio station for the Wizarding World, but was always welcomed back to Hogwarts for this precise purpose. Minerva had her eye on him however, he was not known for being unbiased.

"And here come the Gryffindor team, looking sharp with their Captain Ron Weasley leading the short loop around the pitch."

The buzz from the crowd was muffled but still heard in the Slytherin changing room. Horace was pacing in front of the tactical board where he'd been running through last minute changes in the hopes that his three star pupils would have arrived.

"Professor, shouldn't we be getting ready? The game is supposed to start." The older Wizard ignored them for now and kept his eagle eye on the door.

Draco and Blaise were running towards the changing room, their green robes catching in the breeze as they hotfooted it down the stairs and into the changing room. Standing behind all the students, as one, the mass turned in their seats to see the two of them all kitted in their gear. A few gasped but then they all stood, some clapping as they circled the two.

"You're playing, Blaise?" A third year asked in hope.

"Malfoy… You too?" Another voice popped up.

"Yes, but not as the Seeker." His cheeks went a little pinker than his usual porcelain complexion and together, he and Blaise stood aside to make room for the third member who had been running, his footsteps echoing through the tunnel, to catch up and his hair pushed back, out of his eyes with a simple black headband.

" _HARRY POTTER?!_ " The group chorused as one, taking in the calmness of the newest Slytherin student who was leaning with weight on one foot and Firebolt slung over his shoulder casually.

"Wonderful boys, glad you could join us. Now, let's get down to it." Horace hustled them around the board, Harry standing at the back and taking note of his position.

"Hang on, what's Malfoy playing if he's not Seeker?" Another third year asked, this time a female.

"Mr. Malfoy will be your Chaser. Mr. Zabini and Miss. Greengrass will be your other two; and Mr. Potter will be our Seeker. These are the only changes. I'm sure all of you understand that this is for the benefit of Slytherin. The rest of you have all your school years left to be on the team, so let this be for your benefit that you see and understand how your roles can progress from here." Horace could see some disappointed expressions but pressed on with the tactical play.

Back out on the pitch, Ron was getting impatient and flew down to Madame Hooch to see if Slytherin were going to forfeit the game. Even Lee Jordan was voicing his opinion on the ' _overtly slack and rather disgraceful sportsmanship observed from the Slytherin camp'_. However, the Headmistress who reminded him of the rules, much to Severus's amusement, gave him a short shift.

"Come on, this is unfair. The Slytherin team has had more than enough time to prepare." Ron complained, the others starting to fly around restlessly behind him but flew back up towards the goal posts when she gave him a stern word.

Harry could hear the final whistle being blown and reminded their Professor that it was time to go. Been given the nod, Harry trailed behind Draco and Blaise as they filed out last, following the team. Harry was feeling the nerves hit him suddenly the closer they got to the drawn exit; he'd not had the best sleep and was currently running on adrenaline but as Blaise had told him that morning; _have a good breakfast and you'll be fine_.

There was a burst of energy from the crowds as the four members of Slytherin's team set out into the bright wintry day. Harry nodded to the other two, listening to hear the commentator describing the Slytherin team in a particularly Lee Jordan manner. Shaking his head in both amusement and regaining focus, he wished his housemates good luck and watched as they both mounted their black brooms.

"Looks like Slytherin have brought in the experience today as Blaise Zabini takes to the air followed by… Is that? _Yes, it is!_ Draco Malfoy has returned this year also but… what's that number on his back? Merlin's beard, that isn't a Seeker number, he's come in as a Chaser. This is something new for the Slytherins, I'm sure it will be an interesting experience for him today…"

Severus blinked, watching the blonde headed Slytherin player make a loop around the pitch and settle into position. Zabini and Draco had kicked the two fourth years out of their positions… Did that mean –

"What?! _I don't believe it_ , folks you can see it here for yourselves today! Never in the whole of Wizarding history would I thought to have ever seen _Harry Potter_ in _Slytherin gear_ playing for the _Slytherin_ team! This is amazing, extraordinary; it's – "

" _Jordan!_ " The Headmistress hissed from above him.

" – _Sorry, Professor_. Gryffindor are in trouble today, Slytherin have _three_ veteran players; all of which play pivotal roles in scoring. How will this impact the reigning champions?"

Severus's mouth dropped as his eyes glued and followed Harry around the pitch like he was the only person out there. He did a few laps in the air, getting a feeling for the broom and weather conditions before stopping next to the Gryffindor Keeper. They seemed to be exchanging words but from that distance, Severus couldn't tell what they were saying. He could only watch as Harry adjusted his gloves, his expression serious and focused.

"So, bitter rivalry and it boils down to this?" Ron commented.

"Why have everything when you can have nothing at all. I will destroy you, Ron, no one will care that you're the Gryffindor Captain, you won't matter at all."

Another blow of the whistle and the game was ready to begin. Harry gave Ron one last look, making sure to milk every second he could to intimidate the Gryffindor before flying into position high above the other players. He could tell there were eyes on him, the entire student body was watching him carefully but he didn't let it get to him. However, before Madame Hooch released the snitch, he glanced off to his right and found his Head of House.

As predicted, the man was watching him, mouth open and face unguarded. It was a new look that he hadn't seen before but ran with it for now and fiddled with his gloves once more to make sure they were on tight. The buzz of the snitch caught his attention and all his focus was solely on the golden ball that was going to destroy Ron and his reputation.

As usual, it circled the two Seekers before shooting off into the sky. Whilst an overcast day, it still made the Snitch near impossible to see so instead he watched the scene from bellow. Draco was adjusting his coat and cautiously looked up when he felt a gaze on him; Harry gave him a nod which was returned and the blonde felt his nerves start to settle. Neither of them had been training for the year, so were relying on their experience and what was left of their muscle memory to be good players. Harry did wonder how the transition would go for his friend, Seekers and Chasers weren't all that different in their playing styles, both after their precious and corresponding balls.

"Here comes Madame Hooch with the Quaffle, both Bludgers are released…" Jordan recited.

Severus finally snapped his mouth shut, leaning forward in his seat and placing two fingers across his lips as he propped his chin. His eyes never wavered from Harry's form in the air, the green was so striking and completely floored him. There was only one other time where he could safely say Harry was stunningly beautiful, that happened to be at Christmas with the intricately detailed green accented suit. The butterflies he experienced as he raked his eyes over the slender figure, readjusting his gloves once more with a furrowed brow, made him feel uncomfortable. Especially when the Witch sitting right next to him was the Headmistress.

"… And the Quaffle is released! Gryffindor take possession – No, Malfoy has snatched it right out their hands…"

The blonde weaved his way through the defense, spying Blaise to his right and a Gryffindor hightailing it towards him he passed it over, ducking and dodging then barrel rolling away so he wasn't hit. Blaise threw it back to Draco, right over the head of a Gryffindor. Looking ahead, he saw no other defense aside from the Keeper, Weasley, and went full throttle towards him.

"I don't believe it! Draco Malfoy has scored for Slytherin, not even five minutes into the game. Gryffindor better be careful, this could get interesting. McClaggen has the Quaffle – _Ooh, nice save there_ – Oh no, Slytherin have taken possession once more!"

Harry sat high above everything and tried to listen out for the golden ball he needed to catch. Scanning around the stadium, he thought he could see the flash of something by Ravenclaw's guest tower, so took his handle in both hands and started to fly towards it.

"That was a nasty Bludger from the Slytherin's! Seems they're up to their old tricks with – "

" _Lee, I'm warning you!"_

" – _Just telling it like it is, Professor_."

Severus could see Harry was on to something but it seemed the Gryffindor Seeker was also and came barreling towards him. With a blatant shove to the chest, knocking Harry sideways and almost into the stand, the Gryffindor sped off. Now, Severus didn't know much about the rules of Quidditch, surprisingly after all these years he hadn't taken to learning the rules all that well even after refereeing a few years back but hearing Lee Jordan calling it out like it was, he wondered why Gryffindor weren't being pulled up for it. Suddenly he felt the injustice of it and edged forward on his seat, enthralled by the play.

Wincing, Harry glared after the Gryffindor and took chase. He knew there would be a bruise tomorrow but in the moment he cast it aside because he had a point to prove and no amount of petty play was going to set him of his tracked path. If that's how they were going to play then he would just have to adjust his game too; which is exactly what he did by outrunning the Seeker and smashing right into him.

Hoping the crack wasn't his own broom splintering at the contact, he pulled out his elbow and pierced the Gryffindor right in the sensitive part of his shoulder. Without hesitating, he then sped off using that ability to get away before something else happened. The Snitch was just in front of them so he needed to focus on playing out the game, not catching it too soon so they could get the points. He was thirsty, they needed to win this game and he was going to make it happen.

Half an hour in and Severus was on the very edge of his seat, wincing and glaring every time someone touched Harry in a harmful way. Both hands were clasped in front of his chin, his knuckles damp from the mixture of his breath and the cold weather on his bare hands. Harry always seemed so close to taking the Snitch for the game but every time it darted in another direction.

" _Come on, just reach a little further._ " He said quietly, his entire body tense as he watched the blood-curdling dive towards the ground.

"We're entering the half way mark now, Slytherin are up forty points to thirty. They certainly aren't making it easy for Gryffindor today, and there goes Potter with his eagle eye on that Snitch entering his famous vertical dive!"

" _Pull up…"_ Severus whispered, eyes wide and otherwise holding his breath.

The crowd gasped as Harry came out of the dive with mere meters to spare before he blasted off across the pitch. Gryffindor had pulled out of the dive early and cut Harry off as he sped parallel to the grass, sidling up to the teen, a strategically placed kick to the foot rests on Harry's broom caused him to barrel out of his direction and vaulted him from the Firebolt.

"That was a mighty fine kick from Gryffin – _Ooh,_ and Potter goes down! Let's hope he can continue."

Draco and Greengrass were flying straight towards the goal posts, Blaise just above them and scouting for the trouble that would ensue as the other team flew head on. Harry was careering along the pitch like tumble weed and felt every hit in his joints and muscles. It wasn't enough to stop him though and whilst still rolling he stumbled into a run, locating his broom that had landing not far from where he was running.

"Ouch, that will leave a mark tomorrow. Zabini looks like he's hurt but at least he didn't fall off – and _GOAL_! Malfoy scores once again. Where has he been these past years?"

Draco huffed at the commentary and found Greengrass giving him a knowing smile before they went back to the game. Blaise clutched his wrist for a moment, readjusting himself and also returning to the action. Both Gryffindor Beaters were aiming the Bludgers right at him and Draco but so far they'd managed to stay out of the way.

"Potter is _up!_ I repeat, he is back up and has the Snitch in his sights… It looks like… Does he have it?"

The crowd went crazy; Harry had his hand outstretched and was out flying the Gryffindor Seeker by half a broom length as they rounded the tall towers. Severus's head whipped round as he followed his Slytherin solely focused on the golden ball, half standing so he could see the outcome that seemed so imminent. But just as quickly as he'd flown past the crowd gasped and sighed as both Seekers missed the Snitch again.

Harry's limbs were on fire but he still had a job to do. With their points margin now in the right spot, catching the Snitch would give them enough points to take their rightful spot high on the tables. The Gryffindor Seeker was still on him and he felt another elbow to the sides as they came into the straight, both eying the golden ball as it sped between goal posts. Gripping his broom as if his entire life depended on it, he bent low and pushed himself as far forward as he could without toppling forward. He could almost taste the metallically finish as it was millimeters within reach. If only he could…

"Potter's down again, is this the end of him today? _Gryffindor score!_ "

Severus was up on his feet, seeing Harry take to the ground hard this time, the Gryffindor player not far behind him as he tried and failed to control his broom, crashing into the stand. Even the bitter Defence Professor winced at the impact but it was short lived when he heard Madame Hooch blowing her whistle three times in succession, flying into the middle of the pitch.

"Slytherin, _wins_!" She shouted, an extending charm elevating her voice above the crowds.

The Slytherin Head of House let a satisfied smile grow on his face as he watched his Quidditch team celebrate by high fiving and circulating the field. What caught his attention however, was the one student he cared most about who was now standing but seemed to be something wrong. He had no doubt the teen was hurt, but this seemed more than physical pain and could do nothing but watch as Harry balled both fists, throwing one into the air with the Snitch tightly in his grasp, gently squatting where he stood and screaming at the top of his lungs. This wasn't a physical pain, this was mental, a release that had been building for some time and had boiled to the surface now. Adrenaline made people do things, reach new heights and push the limits of the body's capabilities which was what he happened to be observing.

Ducking his head into the crook of his elbow, Harry let the tears flow freely, erupting with emotion he hadn't realized had been mounting for weeks. He had been humiliated, bullied, teased and the works by Gryffindor. He'd been acting out, punishing not only himself but others around him, and treating the people he cared about like garbage. It was time he made his own way for the rest of the year, no more fighting or creating issues, he needed to put his head down and work on finding some direction.

Someone grabbed at his arm and tore it away from his face, the light had him squinting but the unmistakable blonde hair was a give away. He looked at Draco exhaustedly and the teen nodded at him with understanding before giving him a customary smirk. One friendship, one bridge had been mended and for now, he let that sink in because he was truly tired.

 **. . .**

 _ **This was so intense to write, I've been listening to the song: [Survivor, by 2WE1] on repeat and it gave a really good vibe for smashing this chapter out.**_

 _ **I hope you enjoyed it.**_


	40. Chapter 40

**.**

 **Authors Note: I've updated the previous chapter. I got so carried away with Harry's release I forgot to add in that he threw his hand in the air** _ **with the Snitch**_ **firmly in his grasp. Yes, Slytherin won because Harry caught the Snitch, sorry about that everyone. What a massive oversight! Anyway, nothing else was changed, enjoy this new chapter :D**

 **. . .**

 **#michaela-uzumaki:**

 _ **Eww puking slugs haha, that's an idea though... Do you really think Gryffindor's will back down that easily? They are very stubborn after all :P**_

 **#Sarahostervig1:**

 _ **Yes, oops! I completely missed mentioning it.**_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **Wow, thank you so much! It is painful to write sometimes, but then others it is almost cathartic so I definitely understand you there. And yes, he was yelling because he'd caught the snitch and things were just too much to bottle up. It was definitely vindication and I've updated that last bit in the previous chapter.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **He is quite adorable really, isn't he? *Happy sigh***_

 **. . .**

 **Thank you everyone else that commented on the previous chapter! I love reading all your thoughts and feels, they are a story in themselves :D**

 **. . .**

Limbs were heavy and felt like lead when Harry came to the following morning, the match having played a big toll on his muscles. His head too, apparently, he'd hit it at some point during the game and the side of it pounded. His housemates weren't fearing much better as Draco groaned, struggling to get himself into an upright position. Blaise had injured his wrist during the match and that was heavily bandaged as the muscles repaired themselves overnight, he was the best out of all three and swung his legs onto the floor with every intention of getting up.

"What was I thinking?" Draco grumbled, finally pulling himself up and leaning against his head board.

"I don't know… But I can't move." Harry mumbled into his pillow, unable to get anything functioning.

"I feel great." Blaise smirked, looking at his blonde housemate and standing up, "Maybe an ice bath is what you two need." He added, gathering some clothes.

"How does that help?" Harry slurred, attempting to lift his head.

"It's a muscle thing, it stops further muscle damage after intense workouts, supports the flushing of toxins from the body, and reduces inflammation. Although, research is sketchy and should have been done directly after the match." Draco explained, scrunching his face in pain as he managed to move.

"Get me one of those." The brunette managed to get onto his back.

"I'm not sure the Prefects bathroom would have ice water, perhaps we can throw you into the Black Lake. That will be cold enough." Blaise was laughing as he walked out of the room.

It was a very slow process to walk up for breakfast, he would have preferred not getting up at all, but the Headmistress had been clear in her instruction for making every meal. He'd have had to been strapped into a cot by Madame Pomfrey for him to be excused. Nevertheless, he hobbled gingerly, smiling through the pain as some cheered him on at seeing his appearance and congratulating both he and Draco on their win. He was grateful to not have to deal with Ron also, as he hadn't shown himself. Wincing terribly as he sat down, his rear end ached where he'd sat on his broom, not being used to the semi-uncomfortable apparatus.

Now that he sat, he instinctively glanced up at the head table but found the spot where his Head of House usually sat empty. It hit him immediately when he felt upset the man wasn't there, he had done something terrible and thrown his Professor's comfort away like it meant nothing. _In front of the whole school too_ , he whined quietly, taking a bowl and filling it with cereal. It was the last thing he'd needed at that point anyway, the boys of Gryffindor had been picking on him and his Professor also, it was only natural that he lashed out… Wasn't it?

He wasn't so sure.

Ron came and sat in front of him as he started eating but made a point of ignoring he even existed which was completely fine by Harry. He didn't want to speak anyway but there was satisfaction in knowing he'd beaten Ron and that their rivalry in Quidditch was still on. If they made it to the final, then he would be pulling out all the stops. Something about it all felt right, like things were falling into place. Perhaps it had been wrong of him to deny the pleasure of playing the sport he enjoyed at the beginning of the year. Even he knew that things wouldn't have worked out like this however, his name had a reputation, so by not doing it might have been the better option.

Jumping, a black owl caught his attention when it dropped a vial into his cereal before landing beside him. It was Evan, and he had come bearing a gift with the label, _drink me_. Grumbling, he pulled the vial of clear liquid and wiped the exterior on his napkin. Guilt developed from looking at the tonic he'd been given and with a wary look towards Evan, the bird seemed to understand. This was an interesting owl, it would squawk and bite when he was upset or angry, then crave attention when Harry was feeling down. Further evidence was the bird hopping towards him and nestling against his chest as he sat hunched over his bowl.

"Thanks, Evan." He whispered, bending his head forward and pressing his lips to its crown.

The black feathers felt smooth on his mouth, leaving them there and nuzzling its top. It was a loving gesture that felt so natural, he didn't even think twice until he could feel an incredulous glare directed from in front of him. He matched it, his own glare fuelled by his aching body and unstopped the vial, pouring it into a glass of chilled water.

"You're just going to drink a random potion?" Ron sneered, having watched his ex-friend.

"Yes."

"And you trust it?"

Harry looked at the red head, frowning over the top of his glass as he took a long sip then schmacked his lips together in satisfaction. He didn't need to justify a response with such an outrageous question, did he think that after going through a war and such it would be easy to just ingest something that he didn't know what it was? If anything, Harry was hyper aware, more so than anyone about such things. No, he knew exactly who this was from and trusted the man explicitly, he must have known how sore he would be after the tumbles.

"And whose owl is that?"

"A friends." And Harry wasn't lying.

It was a thoughtful gesture Professor Snape had done, giving him a tonic that would ease the strain of his game the day prior with strong pain relief mixed in there. Certainly, having the older Wizard around him had its perks, if nothing else, but that wasn't why they were friends. He would never use the man to such a degree.

"You must trust them."

 _Fuck, what is this? What does he want?_ Harry rolled his eyes, but they soon turned hard when he felt the strength to defend his friend against anyone who dared disrespect him.

"With my life." Harry replied passionately, to which Evan supported his statement but squawking distastefully at the Gryffindor.

Ron huffed, looking away and deciding it wasn't worth trying to talk to Harry about things when he clearly didn't want anything more to do with him. It was true, the Slytherin had gone out on the pitch yesterday to prove a point and he had done so, demonstrating it with the fierce exclamation mark at the end for emphasis. Harry was done with it all now, there was no reason for them to even speak to each other from this point on and he proceeded to honour this decision.

The brunette met up with Draco when he was finished, and they went in search of Hermione who was most likely holed away in the library studying. This was the first time in almost two weeks were the blonde had willingly been around Harry which made him feel less alone and like things were getting back on track for him. He had been meaning to ask how the lessons for his Animagus was working out and now was his chance, saddened that they hadn't been able to process them together.

"Professor McGonagall is really different when it's just the three of us, but I can tell she favours Hermione a lot still."

"Different, how?"

"She's a lot nicer." Draco said with amusement, as though the action was completely foreign for the Witch.

"You haven't seen the real Professor McGonagall then." Harry snorted back, remembered many occasions where she'd surprised him with her fair attitude.

"I can see why you like her, why you trust her. She's like a female Professor Snape really, strict but rightly so."

"Don't let _him_ hear you say that."

"How come?" Draco frowned as they entered the library and Harry dropped his voice.

"They don't often see eye to eye."

His housemate just nodded and spied his Ravenclaw friend over in the corner, huddled away and nose buried in a book. Harry hesitated in progressing, she still hadn't spoken to him yet and things were apparently tense, but he had to try anyway. She looked up when Draco approached and was partially smiling but that soon disappeared when she saw her ex-housemate and glared back at the Slytherin. Sighing, the newest Slytherin turned around and took himself away from the library, wandering the corridor until he came across the Muggle Studies courtyard.

"Are you going to keep ignoring him?" Draco asked.

"He knows what happened was wrong, I'm letting him stew on it."

"The last time he was ignored, he tried to kill himself." He pointed out and her eyes widened. "Twice."

"He wouldn't… would he?"

"Weirder things have happened. Look, I'm not saying to go and patch things up right now, he can go to Professor Snape if he needs to."

"After how he reacted on Friday night? I'm not sure he would."

Draco hummed, "Good point."

They didn't go and collect Harry however, because he had disappeared from the closest corridors. Being a Hogsmeade weekend, they decided to go and tagged along with a group of Ravenclaw girls to which Draco felt most out of place. Hermione wanted to say something to Harry but it seemed there had been sometime between their conversations and wanted to get him a peace offering knowing that he wouldn't have been able to go into the village himself to get anything. She had hoped with the transformation into a wolf as his Animagi, he would have progressed over his irrational fear of the forest. Well, she didn't know that he hadn't but could very well guess it would be the case.

Stepping into the very Muggle space, Harry inhaled deeply before slowly exhaling away his sadness. He limped over to a stone bench that had a great view of the Black Lake and the mountains, taking in the view and relaxing. He needed to decompress from the past couple of days and let things go so he could move on. The first person he was starting with was Professor Snape and recounting the events of the night prior to last, wondering if the man would be sour with him. It seemed perhaps he wasn't, Evan wouldn't have been sent if he was truly angry with him. Still, what had happened left a bad taste in his mouth and dissatisfied him immensely.

He should go and see if everything was okay, apologise for potentially embarrassing his Head of House in front of the entire school. _Oh, Merlin the Headmistress would have seen that also… If she saw that he was only reaching for my shoulder and watched my sudden reaction she might take it the wrong way_. He decided, once he was done here, he would make things right and approach the man. He never intended to hurt anyone, especially not Professor Snape, but it felt like he had.

Severus was in a similar predicament. On his way towards the main entrance he had seen his Slytherin wandering the corridor alone, deep in thought, and wondered if he should approach him. However, the reaction he'd received the other night had him second guessing his actions. He'd heard the lewd jokes and wise cracks from certain Gryffindor's, as well as the reaction to it from his student. He was no stranger to bullying or teasing, but when Harry was brought into it, he felt partially responsible for the misery. Therefore, that's what had him walking in the opposite direction to his Slytherin and joining the team of staff members who were heading to the Hogshead for lunch. He wouldn't be partaking once in Hogsmeade but thought getting his Slytherin a treat to remind him who was available no matter what the situation, was a wise idea.

 **. . .**

Rapping on the door like usual, it swung open and Harry poked his head inside but saw no one within immediate view. He called out, still standing on the threshold and looking towards the laboratory where he had been finding his Professor but to no avail. He didn't want to just barge in, so he took a step back and closed the door, not wanting to get caught prying since he wasn't there.

 _Although, if he isn't there… He wouldn't know if you looked around…_

No, he couldn't do that. His Head of House would never trust him again if he had. Shaking his head, he backtracked down the corridor, feeling like the only student left in the castle as no one appeared to be about. It was very likely the older Wizard had gone into Hogsmeade or was in his office… or was speaking to someone else… _My form!_ Harry's mind clicked on like a lightbulb as he scouted the main level of the castle and went in the direction of Hagrid's hut. He remembered back to when he was fooling around with Hagrid and the Wizard was playing catch with him and smelling the scents around him. He didn't know exactly how it all worked, but after the Headmistress had walked away, he could still track her from up the hill, that was when he realised someone had been with her, the familiar and homely scent of his Professor.

Sneaking out and around the owlery, he melted down into his wolf form and began sniffing the air for some hint of who had wandered past. There were a lot, too may for him to individually identify but he kept on going, walking towards the edge of the forest and down the path to Hagrid's hut. It was rather pointless, either he hadn't walked past, or it was gone so he gave up and wandered towards the shoreline. Even in his Animagus form, his bones felt like they were on fire and limbs heavy. Glancing up at the sky, he saw the sun starting to poke its head around the clouds, creating a warm blanket that covered his fur pleasantly.

With nothing else better to do and no one to go and see, he found a patch of grass halfway up the hill and slowly lowered himself down. Laying sideways, he took in a deep breath and puffed out through his snout. If he could have a sleep, then he should feel better later on and by then, most would be back from Hogsmeade.

Draco and Hermione were standing in the middle of the village wondering where they should go first. Hermione said she wanted to get her friend something to cheer him up, but Draco wanted to get a Butterbeer then some lunch. Both being stubborn, the Witch folded her arms first and half glared at the blonde, standing firm in what she wanted to do.

"Go by yourself then, you don't need me to hold your hand." She commented, knowing that she hadn't seen any other senior Slytherin's wandering past them.

Draco felt his cheeks heat at the comment, "I don't need you to take me anywhere, but it's cold and Butterbeer could warm us up."

"I'm going to Honeydukes." She deadpanned him and spun around dramatically.

Draco went to open his mouth, but it glued shut when he saw his Head of House about to enter the very place Hermione was heading to. Blinking and frowning, like he hadn't seen things correctly, he caught up to her curiously. Last he was aware, his Godfather didn't do sweet things so why was he about to enter the most famous Wizarding sweets shop? His Ravenclaw friend was clearly oblivious and didn't care that the schools most despised and bitter Defence Professor was entering the shop, so he refrained from commenting, simply following her in.

"I wish I could devour this entire shop." Hermione lamented, spying the raspberry liquorice twists up along one of the shelves.

Draco's eyes followed his Head of House who looked completely unnerved by the experience, "What does Harry like anyway?"

"Chocolate." She answered straight away, making a beeline for that area.

The Slytherin felt torn, he didn't know why, but suddenly felt very awkward and uncomfortable in the crowded space with his fellow classmates. He wanted to remain close with Hermione but felt like he was spying on something he shouldn't be seeing with his Professor. He couldn't shake the feeling but couldn't deny the information that his Godfather hated sweets and candy. _And_ he was over by the chocolate. Distracting himself, he looked around the store and turned his back to the scene, waiting for Hermione to hurry up.

"Right, are you ready or want to get anything?" Hermione was standing in front of him expectantly, making him jump.

"Er – Yes, I'm good." Hermione narrowed her eyes and glanced over his shoulder at where he was trying not to look.

"Okay… let's go then?" She shrugged, walking around him and out the door.

Draco didn't say anything as they left and diligently followed Hermione who was waving out to some Ravenclaws. He zoned out for the next while, trying to work out why he felt so odd about seeing Professor Snape out there. The obvious conclusion was that he was getting it for someone else, but he knew the man didn't have many friends, so the next suggestion was Harry. Last he saw, Harry shoved their teacher away which should have been something that would cause _everyone else_ misery when he took it out on them.

"Draco, what's that look for?" Hermione placed their drinks down, settling beside Luna and Neville who had joined them.

"It just doesn't make sense." He sighed, shaking his head.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Professor Snape. He hates chocolate." Draco insisted, telling it like everyone else should know.

"Your point?"

Actually, what _was_ his point? His Godfather was a grown man, he could do whatever he wanted. It wasn't any of his business anyway. He laughed off his awkwardness after this and took a large sip from the glass vessel he'd been given and thanked his friend. She smiled after a beat, giving him a weird sort of relieved glance before she joined him in drinking. Slytherin's were bizarre she thought, and she could say this because she had two friends that were in that house.

Severus was quite pleased with himself and put his purchases on the coffee table before using his facilities. He had returned just in time for lunch and was hoping he could find his student in the Great Hall to see how he was fearing. He imagined after the rough game and equally rough tumbles, that he would be feeling tender; it had been no trouble for him to provide some relief for those injuries and felt the teen could have done with seeing Evan. That owl had certainly taken to his student, far more than anyone he'd ever encountered which was a surprise but pleasing. It still washed him in guilt at the sight of Harry with Evan, but he couldn't dwell on things too much.

Harry was almost asleep in his sandwiches when a familiar chill entered his bones and the sight of black robes flicked in his peripheral. Knowing the man was now within the same space as him caused his stomach to twist uncomfortably, he didn't know what he'd been thinking going down to see the man, he would be at least irritated, surely.

Severus felt it too, unsure what the reaction was about, he sat down and eyed the teen carefully, trying not to stare but uncapable of drawing his eyes away. When Harry looked up to him however, he was hit with another emotion upon seeing his bright green eyes. There was pain and regret looking back at him, Harry hadn't meant what had happened but that didn't excuse the fact it had. Did Severus have grounds to scold him for the actions when he shouldn't have reached out in the first instance? As strictly his Professor, absolutely not, but as a concerned friend, yes.

He took in a deep breath and sat back in his chair, slouching slightly and staring off to the side at the next place setting, thinking. He wasn't particularly hungry right now and Harry looked as though he hadn't really touched anything. Certainly, when he moved his eyes back to the teen, they were watching each other and decided this would be best discussed in the Dungeons. Nodding his head to the back door, he stood, raising an eyebrow with the expectation his Slytherin would follow him.

It was tough for Harry to get up, but once he started he was able to catch up and get the door just before it closed behind the man. They were in relative darkness, it seemed this corridor was never really properly lit, and it struck him as the perfect opportunity to take something he needed. The man was a few stride lengths in front of him by this point, stalking down the narrow corridor and disappearing around the corner.

"Wait!"

Harry felt his legs protesting as he went to run after the man, wanting to catch him before he descended the stairs. As hoped, Professor Snape hadn't taken another step and was waiting for him, but he didn't bother slowing down and slammed straight into the older Wizard. Wrapping his arms around the slim waist, Harry hugged him tightly, burying his head just above the pointed collarbone and pushing his nose against the fabric covering the unseen neck.

Severus stumbled at the impact but caught himself as his shoulder grazed the wall, supporting him in staying on both feet. He didn't need to think twice about how to proceed and covered the teens upper half completely in arms and his outer robe. Harry had obviously washed his hair too, he noted, moving his head down so his mouth and nose disappeared into the ravenous locks. This position felt so right but had been a long time coming with all the drama that had been going on with his student and between them both. There were still things he needed to say and questions to ask but this showed him without a doubt that the past few weeks had taken a toll on the younger Wizard and didn't take the outburst the other night to heart. Other matters however…

"Potter." Remembering where they were he tried to pull away, but strong arms kept him where he was.

"I'm sorry, please don't hate me."

 _Hate him?_ What on earth had happened to pull this sort of reaction. No, they needed to get out of here before another staff member decided they would use the system. Harry didn't seem to be letting up however and kept his arms tightly wrapped around his body, determined to get some comfort. Severus sighed and moved his hands to Harry's shoulders in an attempt to push him away but only succeeded in pressing the smaller figure up against the wall. Darkness surrounded them both and vulnerability was clearly etched into the youthful face, but he reminded himself once more of where they were and who he was with.

"I do not _hate_ you." Severus almost whispered, peeling himself away from his student and instead taking his wrist to pull him along.

He felt resistance as they walked, and a hand took _his_ wrist for a moment, swapping their connection with fingers slipping into his hand and interlocking. How juvenile he thought it was, holding hands with another. It wasn't the first time this had happened, but it never got any less uncomfortable for him, they were two men holding hands when it all boiled down, regardless of who saw them doing it. He didn't shake it away however, he still had a hold of the teen and in no way impeded on his desire to get Harry back into his living quarters, so they could talk about what was going on. This was possibly the first time he'd taken action like this, it had always been Harry to seek him out, to chat and talk things through.

The walk seemed longer than usual but soon they were filing quickly into his living area and went to shake his hand free. Stopping where he was, just inside the door as it shut after his student, he looked down between them strangely. Harry was still holding on and not wanting to let go, given what he'd heard from a Gryffindor student, this was most unusual behaviour unless it had been a falsely observed accusation.

"My hand, Potter." He finally said, as if he didn't know what else to do for them to separate.

Harry had the good grace to blush at this and begrudgingly removed himself from his Professor's hand. The room may have been warm, but the moment he let go his hand turned into ice and he put it into his pocket in an attempt to get it warmed once more.

"It's been a rough week."

"Seems it mostly is with you." Severus replied, they still stood in by the door at this point, but he knew they should move, so motioned for the couch as an attempt to start things off.

"Clearly I'm not the easiest person to deal with." Harry muttered, seeing that the man wasn't following him.

"Harry, I have dealt with worse, both in and out of school. I assure you, we can handle it." He was sending a note to the elves in the kitchen as he spoke, realising they'd both still need to eat.

 _Suppose he has a point_ , Harry thought, slowly relaxing his muscles as he got comfy.

"However, this weekend seems to be rather extravagant, would you not agree?" He came around and planted himself at the end of the couch, away from his student as a precaution.

Harry didn't like this, things had changed and were jarred. Where were the hugs and the closeness they once shared? It was like the man was trying to distance himself, but it wasn't doing him any good whatsoever. His nerves felt shot, not to mention his emotions were all over the place and he just wanted some consistency. He was exhausted from the day prior but that didn't mean he was by any means quietly submissive to his desires at that moment. He was going to voice it, right now.

"Sir, I can't deal with this." He said plainly, looking at the man strictly.

Severus half turned his body, so he could see what was getting the younger Wizard all distressed, "With what part, precisely?"

"This." He motioned between them, "The distance."

"I do not follow." Severus knew exactly what the teen meant but he didn't want to be the one to bring it up, he was going to set the teen up for speaking it.

"Do I have to spell it out?" It was a rhetorical question, but he was given a nod anyway, "You always used to sit so close, now you can't seem to get enough distance from me. We used to talk about personal things and now it's strictly about why I'm in trouble."

There was a ping of apparation as a house elf delivered them lunch and deposited it on the dining table, but neither Wizard stopped to help themselves and ignored it for now.

"Have I ever turned you away?"

"Well, no…"

"You have been acting and lashing out, why would I condone such behaviours by rewarding you with precisely what I know you want? I told you this much. As I also mentioned, only good behaviour would get you these actions you mentioned, back. Your presence is always welcomed in here, but these little things are more delicate."

"But I have been… I've been diligent and working hard in classes since I attacked Ron."

"I am quite aware."

"Then why – "

"Potter, look in front of you." Severus pointed, sitting a little straighter.

Harry turned his focus and in front of him could see the small brown paper bag, on the side he could see it was from Honeydukes and frowned. What was in the bag, was it for him? He glanced back at his Professor who was uncrossing his legs and making a move to stand up.

"They are for you. As you said, you have been keeping out of trouble and focussing on the important matters even when faced with further adversaries. Your response, to ignore them for the most part and take your frustrations out constructively on the Quidditch pitch. I am pleased with how you handled it, all things considered." At this Severus finally stood to see what he had been given for lunch.

"All things considered?" Harry asked softly, reaching forward and taking the bag.

"I have heard rumors." Severus held his breath after the comment, his back turned to his student whilst standing at the dining table.

"What rumors?" Harry tensed, dread filling his body and stomach twisting, knotting, exploding.

"Of Miss. Granger and yourself." There he said it, he hadn't intended on doing so but he had, he would leave out the other chatter for now.

Harry was genuinely confused, "Hermione? What about her?"

"Then perhaps I heard wrong." Severus tried to relax himself but couldn't help the stiffness in his back as he eventually took a seat.

"A-Are these…" Harry blinked, forgetting about the conversation and smiling like an idiot, "Mini chocolate cauldrons?" Beaming, he looked at his soured Professor.

"They seemed most appropriate." Severus could feel the heat rising up his chest but could do nothing as it grew along his neck and cheeks.

" _I love them_." Harry picked one out and looked at it before biting it in half and putting the bag back on the coffee table, "Thank you."

"I certainly hope that is not lunch." Severus looked away quickly when Harry started walking towards him, half of the chocolate poking out between his teeth.

"Mno." The younger Wizard replied, muffled by the object.

Harry humoured himself by chewing the rest of his candy, then reached for the grapes. He wasn't entirely hungry, but he hadn't seen these on the tray upstairs and green ones were his favourite. Leaning on one hand, he picked away at them, finding the silence odd but not entirely uncomfortable and let his mind wander. Assuming whilst they ate, the man preferred silence, the thoughts came thick and fast. The first one was why he had heard rumours about Hermione and what they were. He couldn't understand it, if anything the rumour mill should have been churning some garbage about Professor Snape, not his best friend.

"What's the rumour about Hermione?" He asked timidly, unable to withhold a moment longer.

Severus silently chewed around his sandwich, wondering how exactly he was supposed to word the answer without sounding bitterly jealous or irritated by it. Perhaps he was over thinking it, but he couldn't deny what had been said, coupled by the distinguished look of seeing Harry in Slytherin Quidditch robes, had caused something to stir.

"You are denying a romantic relationship then?" For a smart man, that was all he could come up with.

" _What?_ Ugh… No!" Harry's immediate response was rather emphatic, but Severus could only nod, having been given an answer to a question that had been stuck with him for a few days.

"That would be just wrong." Harry said quietly, shaking his head almost in humour at the ridiculous idea.

Severus couldn't help it, he was curious now, "And why would that be?"

"Because she's my best friend. It would be like…" He shuddered, "Dating my sister. I guess people don't really understand the friendship we have because she ended up going with Ron. Her and I were both raised in Muggle families and besides, we made a vow. We came to Hogwarts together, we'll leave together. It's the least I could do for her sacrifice anyway." He turned wistful.

"What precisely do you mean by that?"

Harry's brows pulled together as he considered how best the answer the question. It wasn't something that was openly spoken about, but he reasoned that the two of them would never be in a situation like he was in with the Slytherin Head of House, so she would never know. No, but _he_ would know, and it didn't seem right.

"It's not really my place to say." Harry replied finally, taking another grape and enjoying the way its juices burst when he bit down on it.

"I respect your discretion, Harry." Severus nodded in approval, "She is lucky to have you as a friend."

"You're my friend too." The brunette couldn't let it go unsaid and received another nod, this time accompanied by a small smile.

Whilst they were on the topic of relationships, the other reason why Harry had been so quick to deny he was at all interested in Hermione was quite simply because he didn't find any female attractive. Whether that be because no student at Hogwarts had really taken his fancy this year, or because he was fully gay and wasn't interested even if they were appealing, he wasn't sure. What he _did_ know however, was that telling people this wasn't worth the distress and pain. If the Gryffindor's found out, then he knew it would destroy him. Professor Snape had been right, he couldn't trust anyone and felt disheartened.

"Something else on your mind?" Harry hadn't realised he'd been staring with a troubled frown for the past while.

"It's still all confusing." He mumbled, taking both hands and grabbing his bangs, gripping the strands between his fingers tightly.

"Relationships? Preferences?"

"Those." Harry replied, unable to look up at the man, "You were right… I need to be careful of who I trust, mainly because…" He bit his lip and turned his bowed head the other way, so he _really_ wasn't looking at the man at all.

"You need not push yourself to tell me."

"It just feels like it's manifesting within me, that I need to tell someone." Harry's face was bright red, he was really going to do this? Was he going to come out to his Professor, the man who had made him question said sexuality in the first place.

Severus understood and nodded, pushing his chair back and patting Harry's shoulder on his way past. The teen said he missed the closeness between them, so he decided that sitting at the table wasn't going to help his student overcome what needed to be said aloud. He took the middle of the couch, letting Harry decide which side he was going to sit on and watched as the brunette stood slowly, making his way over. He had given Harry a choice here but instead froze when his student slide straight over his lap, straddling his thighs.

"Harry! _What_ are you doing?" Severus would have been speechless if he wasn't worried about where it was heading, this was very bold, far beyond anything he was comfortable with.

"Y-You said… that if I were to do anything, you'd prefer that I d-did it w-with you." Harry was horrified, had he read the situation completely wrong?

"This is certainly _not_ what I meant by that comment, Harry." Judging by the teens expression, he realised what he'd done was wrong, but it was too late to take it back now.

"Oh." Harry felt ridiculous and slid sideways, tucking one leg beneath him and let the other one stay across his Professor's lap like he usually did with both of them.

Severus tapped the leg that was tucked away and helped the younger Wizard bring it across his legs. From there, he wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders, pulling him towards his chest and placing his other hand across both knees. He felt the teen shift where he was, slouching down and resting his head against his own broad shoulder; this was meant for calming, nothing more and he hoped that this would be defused quickly.

"Sir, I'm sorry… I didn't even think that that wasn't –"

Lifting his head, he tried to straighten and look his Professor in the eye. This hadn't particularly been how he'd imagine it all playing out, actually he had only come here for this precise thing because he'd missed it and was threatening to dissolve any further actions by trying to push himself onto a teacher. _Such an idiot,_ he reminded himself. The man was looking at him too and without stopping himself, Harry's tongue darted out to wet his lips. Severus saw this, saw the dull ache in his eyes but he couldn't, and Harry needed to know this also. To stop anything further happening, the hand that was on the teens knees came up and he lightly took hold of his jaw, pressing a thumb directly over both lips vertically.

"When I initially mentioned that to you, it was a way that we could move forward from actions that had taken place; to show you that being confused was alright and a part of growing. If I had misled you, then I apologise."

Harry's nostrils flared minutely as he took in a sudden breath from the words being said and felt even more unhappy with himself. There must have been that small piece of his brain that thought it must have been an invitation when he'd completely made that up. In the closeness, he observed the way the light reflected attractively across his Professor's face, his eyes glistened under the right colour and tone and he found himself being put under a magical spell. Of course, it was all happening inside his head but in that moment, he would have happily closed the distance between them.

When Severus shifted, a habit out of being scrutinized so closely, he felt a dull ache developing below his abdomen. It was a low throbbing sensation that grew the longer he looked into Harry's green eyes. Everything about the situation was wrong but he couldn't help admiring the way his flushed face was complimented in the lighting. His expression softened, not wanting to scare the teen away, but he also needed to remind his student about boundaries.

"I can see clearly what you desire, Harry. More than just desperation. But I cannot give it to you."

Harry's lips parts, forming a gasp at the words which he knew was an involuntary reaction, but it had more of an effect than he believed Harry realised. Tensing his thighs together where legs were draped across him, Severus shifted and cleared his throat before turning his attention to something else. Anything else. He flicked his gaze to the brunette strands that were pushed to one side and with the hand around his shoulders, combed lightly through it, leaving the thumb pressed where it was so the teen didn't get any ideas.

"It was good to see your face yesterday. I had grown accustomed to seeing only half of it." He smiled, hoping his distraction would move them forward.

"It _is_ getting long, I had to borrow Parkinson's headband, so I could see properly." Harry moved his head back and out of the hand holding him, then twirled a bang in his fingers, his heart beating furiously in his chest.

"Do you plan on cutting it?" Severus would have loved nothing better than seeing someone cut the length, it was an awkward cut at present but somehow, he managed to pull it off.

"I was thinking of growing it out actually." Harry stated, twirling the bang once more, "Hopefully grow it so I can put it in a bun. Then, when I leave school… I'm going to grow a beard." He fought the embarrassment away for now, still feeling how hot his face was.

"A beard?" Severus had never heard something so ridiculous.

The younger Slytherin just smiled, tilting his head, then narrowed his eyes as if he were contemplating something.

"Do _not_ even _think_ it, Potter."

"Too late." Harry grinned, having imagined what Professor Snape would have looked like with facial hair, it was a nice distraction from his shot emotions and with exhaustion at its peak he let out a tired laugh when the man pulled another face.

To hear the teen laugh made him relaxed even though his body was feeling highly strung. If he dared to pull away however, he knew it would be brought up, so for the sake of keeping the conversation light, he reached over to grab the bag of chocolates he'd bought the teen and reminded him of the consequences for bad behaviour.

"This is what you meant before, was it not?"

"Yes, sir." Harry mustered a smile before leaning his head back down against the solid shoulder.

"Good, now you know what will be taken away when you misbehave." At the sudden movement and worried expression, he clarified, pushing the teen's head back down, "Aside from a deduction of house points and detentions, this will be _my_ way of ensuring you understand the consequences of your actions. I believe I have enough evidence to understand how much this contact means to you, therefore as a punishment for misbehaving, you will have a period of time where this will not be available to you."

Harry felt worried about it all, he didn't want to lose this, he wanted to know that this would always be accessible for him. Some days, it wasn't about talking about things, it was the contact and knowing someone would be there to hold him when things were going tough.

"Now you know the price, I suggest you stay out of trouble."

"Yes, sir." Harry sighed with worry, anxiousness and overall, exhaustion.

He indeed did know the price of his Professor's comfort now and was going to remind himself of that daily so he didn't get into trouble. He had no doubt it would be the first thing to go if he received a detention or had house points taken, that just wasn't a person he wanted to be. Getting into trouble lately was only due to Ron being an asshole and hurting his friend which in turn had hurt him. That ship had sailed, Hermione had also dealt with him on that front so all he needed to do now was patch things up and everything would be how it was once before.

Things were finally fitting back into place, and that made him happy.

 **. . .**

 ***Shifts uncomfortably***

 **Do you think Severus knows how Harry feels now? [Insert nervous laugh] Talk about awkward encounters.**


	41. Chapter 41

**.**

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Awkward to read, awkward to write. But you'll see something more before they leave school, I wouldn't be so cruel as to deny you all what you want before that point.**_

 **#demi-wizard girl17:**

 _ **Thank you! Hopefully you'll enjoy this little nugget.**_

 **#Crystal Aquafina:**

 _ **Ha! Completely evil. I'm glad you still find each chapter interesting. I know I've read a few that you just go, 'ugh, really… come on where's the action?'. So thank you for the feedback. I hope you enjoy this one equally as you have the others.**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Oh darling, I wouldn't have either. You couldn't have even blasted me away, I'd just be an octopus, suctioned on and going nowhere! I think you'll enjoy this chapter xx**_

 **#i-am-siriusly-sherlocked:**

 _ **It's interesting you say that, I certainly re-read this new chapter and wondered if I've taken Severus's 'seemingly disinterest' too far. But I'd be interested to know what you think.**_

 **. . .**

Everything was finally falling into place; well that's what it seemed like at present. The only person he needed to patch things up with was Hermione but being segregated away from his friends so often was making it difficult for their timetables to coincide. Tonight for example, he was with the caretaker, Filch. He was hopefully nearing the end of his detentions but that was on the Headmistress's word and he hadn't heard from her lately.

It was always cleaning when he was with Filch, he was always paired with Ron also which had done nothing to ease the anger or pain that was associated with the Gryffindor. At least they didn't talk to each other, he had to deal to that plus the glaring during meal times so detention was almost a reprieve. Whatever Professor McGonagall had hoped to happen by putting them together, nothing had changed. They still hated each other, bitterly and strongly. And for Harry, as long as they stayed out of each others way, he was happy with that.

Luckily for him, tonight he wasn't going to be assigned with Ron as they tackled the toilets in the upper levels of the castle. Harry had been assigned Gryffindor and Ron, Ravenclaw. He wasn't entirely happy about his location but figured the likelihood of seeing anyone that was going to be an issue was quite small. How wrong he was going to be.

The bucket was heavy and dirty, his knees hurt from kneeling on the floor and felt generally disgusting after having had bits of toilet water splash up and hit his face. Pulling an unimpressed expression, he wiped his brow after cleaning the last toilet and stood, stretching out his back and arms. With great effort he picked up his bucked, throwing the rags and brushes into it and made for the door. When he was outside, he bumped into two people he could have done without seeing and they snickered at him when they saw what he was holding.

"I bet Snape enjoys them dirty like you, Potter." Cormac laughed, nudging Seamus.

"He must get hot and bothered watching you sweat, because no one else does." Seamus's thick accent carried down the corridor but Harry tried to shrug them off.

They were about to start once more but Filch happened to walk around the corner at this and barked at Harry to get back to what he was doing. Fortunately he had finished, and even more fortunate was that he'd been saved from the bullies. He didn't know what they had against him, more over what they had against Professor Snape. It made him so mad, why did they find it easy to pick on them both?

His bad mood didn't improve when he made it back to the Slytherin common room, he kicked the door open with so much force that he heard a splintering noise that followed. No one was there to reprimand him, so he didn't care and went about getting some fresh clothes to change into. _Stupid Seamus and Cormac. One day they're going to push too far and when that day comes I will happily take their heads off_ , he thought, turning the hot water on.

Back to happier memories, he took a deep breath once under the relaxing spray and exhaled his issues. _I am choosing to let this go_ , he chanted, imagining his worries spinning down the plug hole along with the water. Professor Snape was kind and caring, no matter what anyone said and he had a good sense of humor. That may have been mainly due to the fact Harry could be cheeky and get a sarcastic remark in response but that was just how their friendship worked. It made him happy when they bantered, when they just talked and when they embraced one another.

Although, the weekend had been a rough rollercoaster. _I am such an idiot for thinking I could do something like that_ , he lamented, feeling his cheeks flush at the memory of it. Sliding in his Professors lap, really? What surprised him as he thought over it however, was how easily he did it and how simple it seemed just to go ahead and take a seat. Yes, the man hadn't been happy but it had felt so natural to him; oh and the way he looked at him too? How could he forget the tenderness in his eyes as they stared at one another? If Harry hadn't known any better, being silenced with a thumb placed over his lips was a strategy; it was like the older Wizard was trying to stop himself from doing whatever.

Letting his head hang back under the spray, he smiled at the memory even though at the time it was highly embarrassing. The man was starting to stir something else from him now too, especially with these special moments and he allowed his hormones to control how he was feeling at present. Why? Because it felt so damn good. The deep ache he felt from between his legs, the throbbing that intensified the more he thought about it all… He hadn't really allowed himself to delve or wallow in emotions pertaining the older Slytherin but since he had been open to himself about potentially being gay, he felt that it was fine to indulge himself. But _only_ to himself. Ammunition like this was what Gryffindor's needed to destroy him and he wasn't going to let them. And so that's what he did, alleviating the stress and strain from the day and releasing that pressure with a low grunt and sigh.

 **. . .**

Hermione was up in the owlery with Luna, the Witch had written to her father like she did weekly letting him know she was okay and school was going well. Much like Hermione, Luna was unable to be with her father after war as he had gone into hiding, fearing his own life after the botched attempt to capture the wanted trio. Of course the blonde had no ill will towards her new classmate but Hermione had made a point of making time for the Witch, as she felt that it was owed to her.

Hermione happily trailed her friend as they entered the owl haven and went to stand in the middle whilst Luna found her owl. It smelt awful in there, all the owls living and flying through their own waste as she looked up into the rafters and narrowly missing standing in fresh evidence of their living space. Shaking off the light chill, she looked out the doorway and followed an owl, feeling empowered to follow it out. Her arms feeling lighter and stronger.

"Hermione, you're looking quite pale." Luna had done what she'd come to do and was standing in front of the brunette.

Hermione's vision distorted and her head felt dizzy for a moment that she crouched down on one knee and closed her eyes. Professor McGonagall said this would happen but it wasn't something she needed to worry about, much like Harry and Draco had experienced in the past. She had a wicked headache though, it had come on so suddenly that she decided some fresh air, away from the ammonia would be beneficial. Hearing a squawk as Luna's owl swooped down low over Hermione's head, she was struck with inspiration and faced the doorway once more.

"I need some air." She said suddenly, running full throttle towards the entrance, clambering up onto the ledge and jumping.

Arms went wide and she closed her eyes, feeling the wind through her hair. It was liberating, freeing! Everything about her body felt light and in the distance behind her eyelids, she could see a silvery glowing owl looking straight at her. Smiling, she kept her eyes closed, being distantly aware that someone was shouting her name as a shriek. Frowning, still falling, it all became very dark and her eyelids felt extremely heavy.

"Potter, I assumed you'd be here quickly." Professor McGonagall met her ex-Gryffindor in the doorway to the Infirmary and nodded his greetings to her.

"Where is she?"

"Second bed on the left, Potter." Madame Pomfrey called from her desk.

Following the Headmistress, he winced when he saw the state of his friends face, she looked peaceful but beaten up and wondered what had happened. Professor McGonagall didn't seem too overly upset however and when he went to open his mouth the Matron came back with a lotion, which she intended on covering the cuts and bruises with that marred her clear skin.

"What happened?"

" _It was glorious_." Hermione whispered hoarsely, surprising everyone.

"Do you know where you are, Miss. Granger?" Poppy lightly coated the Witches face, even as she nodded lightly, "Good. I see no concussion or memory loss. Miss. Lovegood had a strong levitating spell, otherwise you would be in a far worse shape."

"Merlin, Hermione. I know we've got conflicting timetables at the moment, but did you really have to hurt yourself just to get my attention?" Harry swapped places with the Matron and took her hand.

"I had a vision, Harry. My spirit is an owl." Hermione still had her eyes closed, purely because she found the room incredibly dark.

"Good, we can start the next phase of your lessons, Granger. As for now, rest and try to avoid jumping out of windows in the future."

"Bloody hell." Harry felt a squeeze at his hand and he returned it gently.

"Indeed. Look after her, Potter."

With the Headmistress walking away, Harry reached behind him for the chair and pulled it towards the edge of the bed so he didn't have to release her hand. Sitting, he sighed and took in her neck scratches also; it must have been a decent fall.

"Can you remember what happened?"

"You know, I find it funny Harry, that my Animagus is an owl."

"Why? Because you hate flying?"

"Precisely." She smiled and tried cracking an eye open.

"You are wise though, wiser than any of us will ever be. I think it suits you and besides, now you'll be able to join Draco and I in the air when we're on our brooms." Harry wasn't seeing a lot of negative points to this.

"I don't even know what came over me." She moved her head from side to side in confusion.

"I'm surprised you didn't fully transform. When that happened to me, I just let the wolf take over and then I _was_ the wolf."

"I saw a ghost-like owl in front of my vision when I jumped, guess that's what Professor McGonagall says when she mentioned the next step."

"Perhaps." Harry nodded thoughtfully, "How's Draco coming along with his, he doesn't really talk about it."

"That's not at all surprising. He's having some issues, he can't seem to get past the weird phases of his vision blurring out and he's been having extra lessons." Finally able to peel her eyes open, Harry saw that one was red and corresponded with the bruise she sported around the left eye.

"Nothing ever seems to come easy for him."

"I don't suppose it does." Wanting to sit up, she tried to move but felt a pain radiating up her back and winced.

"I'll get Madame Pomfrey." Harry said, noting the pained expression and disappeared around the curtain.

After they had a quick chat, Madame Pomfrey left again and fetched a potion for his friend to take as he sat in the chair again. She seemed happy enough to see him which was pleasing, and he decided to start the next conversation off with an apology, wanting to sound sincere he avoided looking directly at her face and instead focused on the hand he had taken hold of again.

"Thank you, Harry." She smiled and squeezed his hand again, "I've been meaning to speak with you for a few days now… Things have been hectic and having you separated isn't as easy as I thought."

"I think that might have been her point." Harry grumbled, shaking his head.

"Yes, well you deserved it. But I think you've learnt your lesson; and I'm proud of you." Hermione smiled tiredly, "You could have fought him more over the jokes everyone were making but you showed them on the Quidditch pitch instead."

Harry groaned, "You've heard about those."

"Unfortunately, yes. I don't understand why they've latched onto Professor Snape quite like they have but I assume it's a long stemmed hatred for all the years he used to yell at you then suddenly turned all nice. His change is rather incredible for having been bitterly twisted for many years."

"I'm sure he'd be thrilled to hear you say that." Harry muttered.

"Only if you tell him, Harry." She smirked, "How did he treat you by the way? I don't imagine he would have been elated to have you yell at him in front of the entire student body."

"Don't remind me." When did this conversation become about him again, why did this happen when they were chatting? "He was upset but he understood."

"See, that's what I mean. The old Professor Snape would have skinned you."

"I don't like to tempt fate." Harry reminded her, he could still be strict and hard when he needed to be.

 _Hard_ , he snorted, then went beetroot from his neck to the tips of his ears. He was a damned man, going to hell for his thoughts about said Professor.

"What's funny?"

"Just something he said. Anyway," He wanted the subject changed, "I've decided that study and school work is what I need to focus on for the rest of the year. I'm sure you'll be the same."

"You know me, I never really stop studying. But I'm happy that you've decided to focus on something constructive and not beating up other students."

They smiled at each other, Harry finally feeling like that last bridge was finally mended and let himself relax into the positive emotions he was experiencing. He stayed with her until dinner, to which he needed to leave due to his obligations but promised to come back and see her. She waved him off, not bothered whether he did or not because she was able to sit and read in peace in his absence.

When it was time for detention, Harry wandered into his Defence classroom and sat at the front desk waiting for instruction. His Professor generally made him write lines because he couldn't think of anything better to do, and as he said countless times when Harry tried to inject himself into his living quarters, it was detention. Pouting and looking up at the giant dinosaur skeleton, he hadn't realized the man was standing at the top of the stairs watching him until he cleared his throat, giving the teen a fight.

"Enjoying the solitude, Potter?"

"I didn't want to interrupt you. Lines, sir?" Harry smiled casually, to which Severus bristled at the informality of it all.

"I had, however you seen to rather enjoy this so perhaps we will change it up." Severus folded his arms and leaned against the railing in thought.

"I really don't enjoy writing lines, sir. Especially when I've been doing my homework and having classes all day." Harry wasn't trying to get out of it, he was telling the truth.

"Stand up, we're going somewhere else this evening."

Harry did so but he had a good feeling that it wasn't the man's private quarters. He grumbled as he followed the older Wozard out, but there was hope when they started walking into the Dungeons. All hope faded however, when Severus walked into the Potion's classroom and informed Professor Slughorn that he wanted a job for their student. He knew exactly what that was going to be and glancing towards the large sink area, his heart shattered at the sight of four large silver cauldrons that looked blackened with something caked on.

In disbelief, Harry pulled a face and went about rolling his sleeves up, not caring that he would be exposing his scarred arms. Severus saw him do this without hesitation and reminded himself that Harry was slowly getting better over time, especially with people that he trusted. When the teen had his back to both Professor's he started the water and grumbled some more about having opened his big, fat mouth about writing lines.

Hearing the clanking of metal, then the scratching a brush against the metal surface, Severus spoke quietly to Horace who happened to be half way through brewing a batch of Amortentia. For reasons that seemed completely illogical for Severus, he wondered why the man was doing this now and not pre-warning students about its use before Valentines Day which had already been and gone. Nevertheless, he decided to leave Harry to cleaning and come back in an hour when the detention was finished.

Coming up behind his student, who he could clearly hear grumbling, he smiled to himself and put both arms on the ledge of the sink, smirking and pinning his Slytherin where he was without being close enough to touch him. For no other reason than to remind him why he was there, he whispered in Harry's ear, feeling the shudder wrack through the slim body before disappearing once more. He rather enjoyed intimidating his student like that, it created a warm glow to develop low in his body which left him feeling happier and lighter.

In the mean time, he went back to his classroom for the rest of his marking. Whilst leaving Harry down in the Dungeons had been the right thing to do, he couldn't help but replay the events of that weekend in his mind. Harry had, quite simply put, _straddled_ him and put them both in a compromising position. Never had it occurred to him that the younger Wizard would dare do something of that nature, nor had he realized their time together might have been a contributing factor. Would he say he had more than ambivalent thoughts and emotions towards his Slytherin? Yes. However he was enjoying their time together as it already was. Not only was he bound by his teaching code but also to ruin their friendship would be rather difficult for him to accept.

Harry was making it blatantly obvious what he wanted, who he wanted, but the why was difficult to understand. There were a lot of things wrong with Severus Snape, he was a damaged man but the way he caught Harry looking at him and watching from afar, created an odd reaction to form from within. He only knew that his Slytherin was watching him but trying to hide it because he too was doing the same. Those stolen glances when neither of them thought they were watching seemed to only make them look to one another. It humored and frightened Severus in equal measures, but in the end he couldn't help what was developing inside.

It was hard work, dirty and time consuming. Wiping a bead of sweat from his temple, Harry finished the third cauldron and moved onto the fourth and final one, lifting it into the sink with an all mighty heave. Grunting and splashing himself, he grumbled more before tackling it with the brush. Soon after this, he heard a door opening and closing between the store cupboard and caught Professor Slughorn out the corner of his eye as he packed things away. He was still scrubbing away hard when he caught the scent of something too familiar and he rolled his eyes, thinking Professor Snape had spruced his cologne just to come back and get him.

"Sir, you can't sneak up on me like that anymore." He smirked, feeling rather pleased with himself.

"Did you say something, Harry?"

Frowning, he turned around and saw that there was no one else in the room but him and his Potion's Professor. Shifting his eyes wildly around to explain why he could all of a sudden smell the cologne his Head of House wore, he eyed the cauldron that the older Wizard had been using and saw green and silver plumes of swirling vapor whispering through the lid.

"Er – No, sir. You see sometimes I talk to myself. It's a habit." Harry blushed, turning back to what he was doing and ducking his head.

"Well, back to it. Professor Snape will be back soon to collect you."

 _What is in that cauldron?_ Harry wondered, looking back over his shoulder with reddening cheeks as he caught the scent again. It was very possible that his Head of House didn't even use cologne and what he could smell was years of built up ingredients that had caught onto the mans clothes. Though the likelihood of that was very slim, he wagered he could risk a glance at the contents of the substance before the man got back into the room. Wiping both hands on his trousers, Harry tiptoed over to the station and craned his neck around the desk to see where the man was. All the way at the back of the cupboard, he anchored both hands on the edge of the table and looked eagerly at the potion.

More green smoke vapors seeped through the edges of the lid and it was the most amazing thing he'd ever caught scent of ever. So familiar and tantalizing, he just wanted to keep inhaling the fumes for as long as he lived. He grew a lazy smile as he lifted one arm to take the lid off, just one more breath in, that's all he wanted. There were hints of chocolate, sandalwood and something spicy, like a range of spices mixed together… _It's so beautiful_ , Harry thought, getting dangerously closer to the liquid within the cauldron.

" _Potter!_ " He jumped in fright and the lid landed with a clatter back on the cauldron.

"Sir, I – "

" _That_ is Amortentia, if you had not already surmised." Severus was striding towards him with purpose and yanked him away from the table, "Do I need to remind you of its effects?"

"N-No, sir."

"Are you finished?"

"Basically." Harry mumbled, going back to the sink and rinsing off the last cauldron he was on.

"Get yourself cleaned up. Horace, you need a better place for that blasted Potion." Harry looked over his shoulder at the sound of the man walking away and sighed in relief.

His heart was pounding and the scent lingered in his nose as he finished up. Amortentia _was_ a dangerous potion but it would smell differently to each person according to what they found attractive. _So, I like spicy things?_ Harry wondered. _Earthy and wood-like… That doesn't make any sense_ , he continued, and then pulled the sleeves down on his uniform before walking towards the door to be collected.

"Ready, Potter?" He nodded and followed the man out, "I _do hope_ you disliked detention this evening."

"Oh yes, it was positively dreadful." Harry rolled his eyes but couldn't see his Professor's expression as he turned his head away at the comment.

"Tell me, what scent caught your attention?

"Sir?"

"The potion." He opened the door to his living area and Harry passed on through.

"Oh, uh…" He trailed off, closing his eyes as he caught the scent again and used a hand to cover his mouth and nose, "Familiar things." He muffled, attempting to hide his face, as well as the blush he sported.

Unimpressed but knowing he shouldn't really be pushing the issue, he went to push Harry towards the couch so they could chat when an unsavoury scent was caught emitting from the teenager. It seemed that in his haste to prove the younger Wizard should be doing something far more physical and menial, he had neglected to think about body odor. Not that Harry was to blame, he was more often than not, a pleasantly smelling and clean student, but this was not something he would be able to ignore.

"Harry, I do not want to sound insensitive to your needs at present. However, I vote we postpone this evening till tomorrow."

"Why?" Harry frowned, not sitting until he knew the reason for being kicked out.

Severus looked helplessly at his student for a moment, then in a rare action he bit the corner of his bottom lip gently before speaking. Harry's eyes widened at the action, completely floored by it and covered his mouth in an attempt to stop the whine that was about to burst fourth. Actually, if he was going to be let go this evening then it was probably best he _did_ leave and immediately.

"You know what, it doesn't matter. I don't mind." Harry moved his hand and raked his fingers through his bangs, proceeding to walk towards the door.

"Harry, I apologize but you really do need to shower."

At this he stopped and half turned to face the man who was looking rather awkward standing in the middle of the room. He then sniffed the front of his uniform, then the top of his sleeve and nodded in agreeable thoughts with the older Wizard.

"You have a point."

 **. . .**

Another week of classes finished and another weekend had made its welcome appearance. However, for Harry it was tinged with the unsavory predicament that was the forest, sitting on his rock and waiting to be accompanied. He had broached the idea to the man during the week, both wondering if the development of his Animagus would help him feel more at ease within the trees. However, he had been sitting here for a while now with no sign of his Professor showing himself. He kept looking back up towards the castle with anticipation but each time he did, the more frustrated he became due to having to wait.

Knowing he wasn't the forgetful type of man or one to go back on arrangements without having first spoken about a delay or postponement, there were two things that Harry believed could have happened.

 _He's either dead or unconscious._

Whilst they were rather extreme, it _had_ to be either of those things for him not to be there. Unsure of what to do and not wanting to waste his afternoon, he slipped off the rock and whilst hidden from the castle, morphed into his wolf form. He took a moment to adjust to the feeling, then put his snout to the ground, sniffing it for danger and caution. Not sensing anything, he came back into view and looked up at the castle one more time.

 _I'm disappointed, sir. You forgot._

He didn't want to believe it, but he couldn't deny the fact he was alone and only made his desire to confront this himself even stronger. He didn't need Professor Snape to hold his hand as they walked in. He willingly walked to his death in front of Voldemort, it wasn't as if that was going to happen again now, was it? Besides, the resurrection stone was in there somewhere and he wanted to find it. Whether it would be destroyed before he got to use it properly or not, his Head of House was correct in that he still had unresolved issues with his parents. If he could just speak to them one more time and say goodbye properly, things might be a little more bearable in the silence.

 _Fuck it_ , he thought and turned determinedly towards the forest, preparing himself to get this done with. Worst case scenario was that he freaked out and ran back into the castle with his tail between his legs, literally. Or, he might be surprised and find things completely different when he was in an animal form. The creatures might even trust him more because he wasn't a human, actually he wondered if he had the scent of a human still or if he had a unique wolf smell.

 _One way to find out_.

Taking a deep, confident breath, Harry stepped a paw into the forest and kept it there for a moment. With no immediate reaction, or even the anxiety working into his stomach he went in with another and another, until he was completely within the trees and looking around. Nothing was surprising, but that in its self shouldn't have been a surprise because he had been staring at this same piece of woodland for months now, only having gone in twice.

 _Well, this seems okay_ , Harry thought as he put his nose to the ground and meandered further into the forest slowly. He shouldn't have really been in there regardless, the forest was strictly forbidden except when in class, which seemed a little stupid if he were honest. Any student who was able to take Care of Magical Creatures would have attested to the fact nothing had killed them yet.

The snapping of a branch nearby caused him to flinch back on himself and rotate his head to the sound of the disturbance. He couldn't see anything however and flexed his ears to make sure there wasn't anything else that would hurt him. Professor Snape would be proud he thought, coming in here by himself, because he was actually doing really well and oddly enough felt fine. He should have done this ages ago, maybe even at the beginning of the year, then he probably wouldn't be in this messed up situation he was now.

Exploring for a while, he could still see the forests edge where he felt safe but considering there was nothing directly effecting him at present and feeling determined to prove he wasn't weak to his Head of House, he decided to walk in further. Still keeping a weather eye on the forests edge to maintain his bearings, he wandered into the thick of it. It was rather peaceful in here actually, absolutely no noise other than the bristling and crunching each tree that swayed in the light breeze.

 _I remember seeing this in my visions; perhaps this is why I'm a wolf, because my spirit knows I need guidance and support_.

Pausing where he was, he puffed air out of his nose like a mocking laugh at his own thoughts. He was getting pensive, how silly it was to think any of this. The situation was simple, he was in the forest, facing his fears alone and hoping that nothing killed him. End of. Except it wasn't simply _end of_ , because something was watching him, he could feel it. Whilst nothing could be directly seen, he felt the hairs along his back and the extra tufts in his mane standing in warning. This was a new sensation, he hadn't experienced this yet and wanted to know more about it.

He sniffed the ground, keeping low and trying to sense where the feeling was coming from. He could feel this presence but where in Merlin's balls was it coming from? Creeping along, very low to the ground, he wagered that it would be best to get onto higher ground, that way he could see if anything was coming towards him. Yes, that's what he would do, he needed to climb something.

A large felled tree was close by, something that he could hopefully jump up on to and scout of the awful feeling that seemed to be growing. How did he even know about it? He lived with ghosts up at the castle who would randomly sneak up on you, especially Peeves, so why was this so drastically different?

A crack from behind him was very close and he spun around, laying almost flat to the forest floor and growling in anticipation for an attack but when he saw nothing once more he flopped fully onto his stomach and huffed. In hindsight, this was ideal due to his mind being occupied by a strange sense rather than worrying about Voldemort returning as well as the flashbacks. He was pleased that he hadn't had those yet, he didn't know how he'd handle it without his Professor there to help him.

Harry growled to himself, loudly. _I don't need Professor Snape, you just told yourself that not ten minutes ago_.

Closing his eyes and taking a long, deep breath, he looked at the tree trunk in front of him when something caught his attention. Something black, thin and swaying at odd intervals above his eye level. Immediately tensing, he felt that uncomfortable sensation niggling throughout his back. Not wanting to immediately move, he wanted to assess whether it would be a threat or if it were safe. Calculating his response, he found the tree line in the distance and wondered if he should make a run for it, just to be safe.

The thing that was swinging in front of him was actually a tail and when Harry finally moved his eyes up the tree he felt everything around him stop and go silent. _You have to be fucking kidding me_ , he thought, unable to breath and frozen in place. There, sitting in the tree as if it were a damn summer holiday, was a black panther that had a long black tail with yellow eyes. With his basic knowledge about cats, overgrown or not, he could tell that the manner in which it sat precariously across the branch, with a hind leg dangling, told him there was no threat but it did answer the question as to why he thought something was watching him. It had to be the animal up in the tree.

Still, he didn't like the fact it was so close and just staring down at him. It was disconcerting and odd, not something he wanted to stick around and watch. So lifting himself off the ground, ears flat against his head and teeth bared as he maintained eye contact, he moved off to the side. The cat however, puffed air out of its nose before looking off into the distance, completely ignoring the fact he was down there.

 _Eh?_

A breeze ruffled his thickened mane-like fur as he stopped at the out of character action. Weren't panthers, tigers and lions all at the top of the food chain? Surely he should be chased down and become the cats' dinner? Well, he certainly wasn't going to find out and was about to make a run for it when he caught a scent, a very familiar scent that had him swiftly looking back up at the tree.

With one leg dangling, the cat that was up in the tree had the same scent he'd caught the other week, one he had nuzzled against after he'd cut himself. Professor Snape was around here, he was in the forest after all. But…

 _That's not possible._

Growling, he made a noise similar to a bark, which caught the panther's attention, and it looked down upon him in a very unique and familiar way. Tensing his body and rearing up with his chest low to the ground, he did it again, this time howling loudly up into the sky to rouse some form of reaction. It worked and he took hesitant steps backwards, awkwardly as the black cat stood fluidly and slipped off the tree elegantly, landing with a soft thud along the forest floor. With his mouth going dry, Harry realized too late that he had an odd death wish, if this wasn't who he thought it was, he was a dead man.

There seemed to be no emotion from the cat as it slowly but dominantly walked towards him, shoulders relaxed and paws making exact movements. It wasn't necessarily a walk per say, it was more of a swagger, Harry thought, taking another few steps back until his hind leg caught on a branch and it snapped. A light breeze brushed past them both after this and Harry caught the scent again, stopping what he was doing and sniffing the air to confirm that it was coming from the animal.

 _Bloody hell, what?_

Harry's blue wolf eyes were impossibly wide and he lurched forward, sniffing the air once more but this time very close to the cat. It was, it _was_ him. Rearing up on his hind legs and pushing off the ground with his front paws, Harry landed with his chest low and legs spread wide in both surprise but happiness. The bushy grey tail was set wagging, slowly at first, but steadily getting more when he pushed his snout forward and right into the space of the panther. Whining happily, he jumped about, forward and back like an excited puppy but not wanting to get too close all at once. He had so many questions, why was he here and how did he become an Animagi too?

 _Wait, what if he's eaten Professor Snape?_

The thought caused him to reel in the excitement for a moment before he settled back and watched the cat sit on its hind, head held high as if it were the king of this forest. It blinked slowly down at Harry, who was feeling very confused for now and refused to move from his spot on the ground, far too engrossed and a ball of nervous energy.

They were silent for now, unmoving and staring at one another. The shaken wolf took his time examining the beast in front of him and yes, he was going to refer to it not as a cat but a monstrous beast. From the way it sat, his muscles were well defined, packed out for a predator and had no doubt those legs became fatal when the sharp claws came out. Its face and snout were impassive, not showing any sort of emotion whatsoever which was further proof that this large cat was indeed Professor Snape.

When the cat turned its head back towards him, they locked eyes and what had appeared to be bright yellow eyes from far away, close up they were almost green. The humor of it was not lost on Harry and he opened his mouth, letting his long tongue flop to the side and hang out which was his way of showing amusement along with the slightest of head tilts. This caused the cat to huff again before it bowed the strong head, brows furrowing as it stood and stepped forward.

 _Uh oh._

Harry's tongue pulled back into his mouth as he shut it and his ears went back as he hunched himself into the smallest he possibly could. The beast was making its move, he would soon enough find out if this _was_ Professor Snape or just some sick joke in which the man had been eaten whilst waiting for him to enter the forest and that's what he could smell.

The cat however, didn't seem to have an early dinner on its mind and pushed itself towards him, almost toying with him. It was glaring, jaw hard and taunt. Harry swallowed and found his throat dry but couldn't help the growl that followed at the threat on his person. At this, the cat growled also but the noise that came from within sounded like dark, rich chocolaty decadence, dripping in seduction and primal needs. This animal, this _beautiful beast_ , made the wolf weak at the knees and he dropped onto his front, face buried in the forest floor.

A light pressure on his head kept him there for a moment, before a warmth was felt in that spot and he realized the panther had nuzzled him for a second before standing and wandering off. Feeling dissatisfied, Harry did the only thing he could think of at that moment and became human again. The not knowing had him in a confused state, aroused but confused.

"Professor?" His voice cracked as he said it and immediately the cats eats perked up before its head turned back in his direction.

In a fluid motion, the black panther with its skillful body and brightest of yellow green eyes, morphed back into Professor Snape who stood there with an extreme level of smugness. Oh yes, Severus was doing all he could not to break into a wide smile and instead focused his energy into completely flooring Harry with the knowledge that he was an Animagi too.

Mouth hanging open, Harry stared – as in flat out gaped like a goldfish – at his Professor who tucked both hands into his pockets as if totally disinterested in the fact they were both Animagi Wizards. He was gob smacked, completely shocked.

"How – Why – What – _Professor!"_ Harry couldn't articulate his words and instead, with shaking legs, ran to the man and put his hands on both biceps.

He squeezed where he was touching, looking at the man this way and that, trying to work out what was going on but was suddenly thrown away, stumbling onto his back. What landed on top of him was not a human, it was the black panther and it had Harry pinned, with no way out. The only thing the teen could think of at that moment was to change himself which gave a little move room but only so much as to twist his hips so both legs went sideways rather than spread eagled beneath the massive cat.

Like this, he was still overpowered by the panther, both in size and position. Harry was used to this though as he was still shorter than his Professor normally and wolves weren't nearly as strong as an individual large cat. He was being watched carefully after this but could do nothing but try and wriggle himself free. Instead, he lifted his head and sniffed at the side of the beasts jaw, nuzzling into the silky fur at the neck, before instinctively licking that same spot. He could feel the cat stiffen at this and moved away, wandering off back towards the forests edge.

Scrambling, Harry caught up with it and kept looking at the black cat with utter astonishment, he couldn't believe this and had a million questions for his Professor. One was, _when_ , the second was, _how_ , and the third was, _why_. He wanted to ask them all at once but of course they couldn't talk to each other like this and refrained from getting too wound up, even though his tail was wagging excitedly as he stepped into the mid morning sun.

 **. . .**

 _ **[Insert evil Bart Simpson laugh]**_

 _ **#Tlcatlady:**_ _ **You almost caught me out on this one. A few chapters back you mentioned Severus as a panther and it took everything I had not to give everyone a spoiler and confirm it.**_

 _ **It's something that I had been thinking of very hard. Way back in the beginning when I planned this story, I was watching The Jungle Book (2016 – live action), and it just hit me. All I could think of was Bagheera, he essentially encompasses a great deal of Severus's character and from there it's been set.**_


	42. Chapter 42

**.**

 **#ellainaparker:**

 _ **Yes, I've read a couple myself but can't place the names. They were good reads.**_

 **#geekymom:**

 _ **Thank you, thank you! :D**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Haha, play with his food you say? Oops, don't combust then at this chapter.**_

 **#kamylla:**

 _ **Yay, so glad you did. You'd think he'd crack soon enough, right?**_

 **#Han22:**

 _ **I was seriously spending a lot of time trying to work out the best fit for him. I'm please I got it right :D**_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **You'll certainly get more animal interaction, especially in this chapter. Hopefully you enjoy it as much, if not more.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **I haven't touched on what he smells… yet. I'm sure I'll be able to fit it in somewhere. I'm not sure you'll be happy about the disappearance of Ron, I have to replace the hate somehow right?**_

 **. . .**

It had been a few days since the forest incident and Harry still hadn't gotten any answers from the man about his form. He was reeling from the revelation; however the one thing the man had said before they departed was that he wasn't to tell anyone about what he'd seen. But how could he keep it to himself when it was the best thing that had happened to him this year aside from his own form. Professor Snape was like him, they could escape together and go exploring, and oh it opened so many new doors for them both.

Sitting up the front of his Defence class, Harry was almost bouncing in his seat. It was their first class of the week with the older Wizard and he didn't know if he could really keep all of this to himself. Certainly, Draco and Hermione had questioned him on the positive attitude he was sporting since the weekend and wanted to know why he had this weird grin on his face, especially when he entered the Great Hall for dinner.

"He really hasn't said anything to you?" Hermione asked Draco as they walked into class, seeing Harry already there and watching the office door like a hawk.

"He's been like this since Saturday afternoon but refuses to tell me what it is. He mentioned something about going into the forest again with Professor Snape but that's left him in the opposite mood to this before. I'm sure by now this is just who he is; he has great days and also horrendous days." Draco responded, keeping his voice low enough for Harry not to hear.

Finally, Harry's silent prayers for the man to hurry up were answered and the lesson began. He had to bite his bottom lip hard, as he looked the man over, remembering the way those seemingly lanky limbs transformed into bulky, muscular weapons. Propping his head up with a hand we watched the man walking about and lecturing, though nothing was registered the entire time. All he could think about was the seductive purr that made him a mess of weakened arms and legs. He smiled lazily at this, staring at one spot up by the chalkboard, not paying attention.

Looking down at his book, he fell into the recesses of his mind, a place where only he could go and replayed the events of the weekend once again. He used these images to fuel a fantasy, a scenario that would never happen but simple enough that if he asked, he may have been indulged. It was simply them running, being free and not chained down to anything or any _one_. He smiled down at the page of his open but blank book and felt as though he could smell the fresh summer air, sprinting after the majestic black beauty and trying to catch up as they darted in between jungle trees.

Something hitting the back of his head caused the image to disappear and when he looked around he found everyone looking down at their books reading. All but Seamus and Cormac who were subtly smirking at him from the sides of their books, he then looked at the ground where a plane folded piece of parchment lay and wondered if he should pick it up. Professor Snape was scratching away at the board with his back turned to them, so with curiosity winning over rationality he bent down and unfolded it, making sure their Professor wasn't looking.

Staring with wide eyes down at the moving picture, he felt his stomach twist and knot. The sudden urge to vomit came forth but he balled a fist and placed it across his mouth, swallowing back the bile. He heard sniggering from behind him and scrunched the paper into a small ball before shoving it into his bag. _Assholes, both of them_ , Harry thought bitterly, his good mood gone and anger rising at the lewd gesture.

It really wasn't fair to be teased for something people had no idea he actually wanted. The Gryffindor's didn't know he liked males, certainly didn't have any idea that he found Professor Snape attractive and had no clue that their jokes were making him feel insecure about his desires. He just wanted to be happy, for once he would have liked to have something he could call his own and not be judged for it. He had been constantly scrutinized by those who had no idea what it was like growing up as Harry Potter, and still didn't know what it felt to adjust back into a war free society.

Well, war free was a relative term. At Hogwarts, there were many wars but the one he seemed to be battling was dangerously close to his deepest desires, as pointed out by the Mirror of Erised. Looking hopelessly down at his unmarked book, he slouched back into his chair and glanced up to find Professor Snape watching him. Frowning, Severus noticed the annoyingly good mood had disappeared and took a moment to assess the room, not seeing anything that could have upset the teen.

At the end of class, Harry packed away his unused material and shoved them roughly into his bag. He was about to join Hermione and Draco for their next class but found his name being called and held back. Leaning against the desk he had been sitting at, he glanced at the door just as Seamus was making a gesture with his fingers before laughing and lunging playfully at Ron as they walked out. Harry grumbled to himself before he found a book being shoved against his chest and reached up to grab it before it hit the floor.

 _Wild Cats: Behaviors and Mating_

"Uh…" Harry looked over the title incredulously.

"I suggest you read chapter two before we next meet in the forest." Severus commented dryly standing just to the side but in front of his student.

"Have I done something wrong… or… _not_ do something?" Harry winced and his Professor almost mirrored the reaction.

"You may want to watch where you lick me, Potter."

Harry's face brightened at the suggestion, recalling the exact moment he was referring to. After this Severus spun around and headed towards his office, trying to hide an emotion spreading across his face.

 _Oh._

"Are we at least going to talk about this?" Harry called after him, watching the man trying to escape.

"Tomorrow. Usual time." Severus replied, shutting his door with more force than was required.

"All right then." Harry huffed sarcastically, slinging his back across his shoulder and walking to his next class.

Stepping into Potions, we wandered over to Draco who had saved him a seat but it didn't take long for a couple of Gryffindor's to notice he was still blushing and called him out for it seeing as Professor Slughorn hadn't arrived yet. Harry did his best to ignore the chuckles and sniggers before he looked over and saw two of them looking at him knowingly and he wanted to disappear in the cracks below him.

"Well that sure didn't take very long, Harry. Tell us, do you scream his name and beg like a little bitch?" Seamus laughed.

"What are they talking about?" Draco whispered, noticing how red Harry became.

"Nothing, it's fine."

"It's _not_ fine."

"Just leave it okay? They'll stop soon enough." Harry took a deep breath and tried to ignore the bait, but it didn't help that could smell Professor Snape's scent coming towards him.

The cauldron of Amortentia was on the bench directly behind them but the lid had been knocked off slightly, losing the delicate seal and letting the vapor escape. He couldn't have this, he was already in trouble as it was with the Gryffindor's teasing him, they didn't need any more ammunition and he didn't need more temptation.

"Tell Professor Slughorn."

"And what would he do about it?" Harry hissed, turning around so he could fix the lid on the dangerous potion behind them.

"He might tell the one person they're talking about." Draco reasoned.

"You're sure getting around there, Potter. Malfoy too, huh? The new school slut." Cormac guawffed at this and threw himself forward, bending on his stool.

"Will the two of you cut it out? You're worse than a bunch of children." Hermione finally came to Harry's defense, barking out at the Gryffindor's.

They seemed to take notice of what she'd said, which then made the class go very quiet just as their Professor walked into the room. Harry prepared himself for the lesson, but it wasn't without incident, burning his potion so that it turned blood red instead of blue. The rest of the afternoon didn't get much better and by dinner he was feeling miserable. The note Seamus had drawn was in his pocket but he didn't dare pull it out where they were, Ron would have seen it for a start and he didn't need the red head joining in on the teasing.

Glancing up at the man, he hadn't realized his expression showed every emotion until he saw his Head of House looking at him in return. How could he tell Professor Snape what he was being bullied about? The consequences of that might be that they limit their interactions and they get distanced. That was _not_ something he wanted, ever. No, he just needed to ignore the jabs at his expense and deal with it like he wasn't troubled by them.

Of course, by the end of Wednesday he was ready to murder someone and stormed towards Professor Snape's quarters after dinner with an attitude. The anger was slowly bubbling up and if he wasn't careful someone would be getting on the end of his rage. He knew his Professor would be able to handle it, so when he filed into the room, he marched right over to the older Wizard who was walking into the room also and straight into his chest. He pushed his head into the black robes and slid his hands around the older Wizards midsection, hugging tightly.

Severus was surprised but reasoned that this was better than trying to heal wounds if the teen decided he would take his worries and self-inflict. Instead of pushing Harry away, he carefully placed one arm around his shaking shoulders, not pulling but gently resting as his other hand held the head in place. Whatever was going on, he intended on finding out before anything drastic happened.

He let the teen have his moment but when time was starting to tick on, he loosened the grip he had and gently moved out of Harry's arms. The anger had disappeared, and instead wet cheeks greeted him. Looking at the spot on his chest where Harry had placed his head, he could see a damp spot and carded a hand through brunette locks.

"You cannot tell me this is nothing." Severus commented.

"I thought by beating Gryffindor at Quidditch they'd leave me alone." Harry wiped his face hastily, realizing how wet they were and looked away.

"There were always two ways this would go. Weasley has pulled back though, I see. Are you having other issues?"

Harry hadn't even thought about that, yes Ron had backed off but that only gave way for Seamus and Cormac. _Damn, I've just made myself more of a target_. Shaking his head in a resigned fashion he sagged his shoulders and toyed with the hem on his jumper. Severus put his arm around Harry and half hugged him. Because he still wore his outer teaching robe, it created an interesting cocoon and found Harry gravitating back into his chest. The teen was safe here, he always would be.

"Guess I just put a bigger target on my back for that."

"I will pass comment to their Head of House and the Headmistress. I must say you are showing tremendous restraint with no retaliation."

"If I did, I wouldn't be standing here." Harry mumbled.

"How true." Severus gave the teen a soft smile, not that he could see it and directed them both towards the couch.

Sitting, Harry let his Professor go first before he sat beside him and swung his legs around. He didn't even give the older Wizard time to prepare or deny him this and got comfortable. Severus felt like he should be reprimanding but they had done this so often now that it seemed a moot point to get worked up over.

"Okay, so you're an Animagi too." Harry said, blinking innocently and expectantly.

"Indeed."

"I have _a lot_ of questions." Harry responded with a smug smile and his Professor huffed with amusement.

"I will save you the trouble. The night your friends were caught in the library after curfew, to which you so nobly informed me who, I discovered your little secret. I'd have liked to have been surprised, truth is I was not. If the three of you were idiotic enough to try this, then as your Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor, one who teaches children to identify the difference between an Animagus and a Werewolf, it would be equally idiotic to not attempt the transformation himself."

"And Professor McGonagall wasn't curious?"

"She certainly became more suspicious when _you_ came forward with a transformation."

"Did she tell you off?" Harry smirked before biting his lip, his tone was cheeky but he didn't care.

"There are certainly times in a Wizards life when a Witch is more than capable of taking Severus Snape down a notch."

"Are you saying she intimidates you?" Harry grinned.

"Potter, you were there that night. Looking down the length of anyone's wand is enough cause for concern, let alone Minerva McGonagall's." Severus rattled out, not realizing what he'd said until he noticed Harry's odd expression.

Harry somewhat paled at the mention of the man's last day as Headmaster, it wasn't a scenario he wanted to relive, especially when it rattled him in guilt knowing that what he'd accused his Professor of. A man in a difficult position, playing spy for both sides and getting hate from _all_ angles. It just wasn't really fair, after all that had been said and done; it still didn't get better some days.

"What?" He asked defensively, feeling as though he was being scrutinized.

Harry didn't say anything however, he let the emotions develop in his expression and slowly a smile formed. He had so much love for this man, the sour and intimidating Professor that was so closed off from everyone. It wasn't say that _he loved_ Professor Snape, but he certainly felt passionate about his existence, especially when he showed vulnerability. Severus Snape was human, he experienced human trials like everyone else, but to hear and see them was refreshing.

"Sorry, you just surprised me." The younger Wizard finally admitted, shifting so his shoulder was settled under the man's arm.

Resting his head on the man's shoulder, he lifted his hand and put a finger on one of the man buttons that lined the front of his Professor's outfit. He had never quite understood why he deemed it necessary to wear this particular ensemble; he couldn't imagine anything worse than having to wake up every morning and coordinating the line of buttons. He smiled quietly at this and ran his finger down to the next one, deep in thought.

"So, Professor McGonagall helped you?"

"She did, much to Albus's pleasure. I had almost forgotten what it felt to be the student once more."

"Was she your Transfiguration teacher when you were a student?" Harry was curious, he wanted to know so much about what things were like for a younger Professor Snape.

"Yes, and I can safely say she has not mellowed an inch through the years. Still strict and expects great things from each student she teaches."

"No matter how old they are?"

" _What_ are you insinuating, Potter?" Severus bristled but it seemed to be asked in good humor.

"Can I see it again? Your form?" Harry sat up at this, searching for acknowledgement in black eyes.

"To what purpose?" Severus didn't particularly feel comfortable in such a small space to do such action.

"You asked to see mine when I first managed it…"

"Yes, because I had not set eyes upon you myself, _you_ have."

"And the fact I still thought you might have eaten me, meant I wasn't focusing on how you looked but rather my own survival." Pouting, Harry tried to morph his face into something resembling an adorable puppy to get the man to cave.

His attempts however, were futile and the man simply shook his head. Instead Severus offered to show the teen over the weekend, using the forest as a cover. Harry still had distance to cover with the woodlands but through making him comfortable in his wolf form, he believed it would go a long way to distracting the teen into realizing he was safe. He wanted to teach Harry to believe in his instincts again, he had a wand and his knowledge of magic was extensive, therefore he had nothing to fear. If the image of the Dark Lord surfaced, then they could address it at the time, for now however, creating a safe haven within the trees was going to be their first step.

 **. . .**

After Hermione's incident, everything was lining up and by the end of the week she was very close to transforming into her Animagus. Unfortunately for Draco, he wasn't quite there yet and was beginning to get frustrated that everyone was surpassing him. He didn't want to think about it too intensively, but he couldn't help but wonder why he, a Pureblood Wizard, was falling so far behind in his transformation. It was unfair to the others that he vocalize his self-loathing as a result of being unable to transform, so he didn't and instead let it build up inside him.

Wanting a nice distraction, Quidditch practice was only too welcome and as he took to the air, green robe flapping in the breeze behind him, he let his mind settle and focus on something other than failure. To Harry's credit, and Hermione also, they did their best to minimize chatter about anything remotely Transfiguration related but it still stung.

He wasn't alone in the air today; Harry was there too and playfully swiped at him as he sat idling in the middle of the pitch waiting for Blaise to show up. The brunette arched around and came back, sidling up to him and looking out over the extensive natural environment. They were silent for this time and the blonde appreciated the sentiment, even if it was brief.

"How much longer are you going to be in detentions?" Draco broke the silence, wondering when he could have his friend back.

"Hopefully tonight is the last one and a bonus too, I get to spend it with Professor Snape."

"How is that a bonus?" The blonde frowned.

"He only makes me write lines. It's bliss." Harry shuddered, thinking about the state of toilets and rat infested corners of the castle, "Filch is truly horrid."

"Well you can't deny you deserved it, but it would be nice having you back. Hermione is okay but she's rather persistent with work."

"You've only experienced the tip of _that_ iceberg, my friend." Harry laughed, much to his friends horror.

"I know she means well."

"There is a reason why she's been dubbed, _the brightest Witch of her age_. If she doesn't shoot to the top of the Ministry, I'd be very surprised."

"Me too." Draco replied, spying Blaise wandering out onto the pitch.

Coming down to join the others, they listened to their captain's pearls of wisdom before running into some drills. For Harry, it was mainly to build back his muscle memory and trying new evasive tactics that could support the Chasers. He was fine with taking a back seat for a change, being coach and captain was a great honor when he was in Gryffindor, but he didn't think anyone would really listen to him now. Actually, he wasn't entirely convinced he'd do a good job, doubting his abilities to take ownership of the team.

As he flew around the pitch, he wondered why this was the case. He was a natural and had only been away for two years from the sport. Skill like that didn't just disappear overnight. Rounding the stands, he ducked and dived between them lazily, not particularly paying attention to where he was going but knew when to pull up or sideways. However, he was unable to stay like this for long when a bird shot past his head and brought him back to the present. It wasn't like this was a common occurrence and stopped midair to see where it had gone.

Much to his surprise, it was flying back towards him but from this angle he could tell it wasn't just any bird, it was an owl. Blinking and frowning at the odd behavior of this creature he had never set eyes on before, he watched it carefully as it went to stop in front of him but struggling with the coordination of its wings against the breeze. Huffing and shifting his hands to it could touch down on his broom handle, he sat back and tilted his head in thought.

 _I haven't seen you before, the only owl crazy enough to do this might be Evan, but you're not even black._

In fact, the owl was an assortment of different shades of brown and cream. It had defined brows, which feathers made up, and its head reminded him of an animal with unfortunate bed hair. Huffing he commented on the oddness of such an action occurring and the owl frowned, glaring at him with an unimpressed expression which caused him to laugh aloud.

"There's only two people who I know of that glare at me like that, and Hermione you're top of the list." He grinned, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the idea that his best friend had achieved her goal.

His reward for verbalizing his thoughts was a loud squawked before the creature bobbed its head up and down. Not sure whether it was out of excitement of simply agreeing with him he shook his head and reached out to run a hand over its fluffy head. Now however, was not the time to be distracted by his friend and he told her as such, promising to find her after practice, somewhere safe where they could be themselves.

At this there was a beautiful hoot and flapping both wings awkwardly, it set off into the sky. He followed her down until she passed the stands before directing himself back over to where half of the team had congregated, including Draco. He had an unreadable expression on his face when Harry arrived, but he didn't mention anything, if the teen wanted to know why a random owl landed on his broom then he would say but he'd rather not do it in front of all these people. For the sake of all three of them.

When he arrived in detention however, he was itching to get the lines done so he could find Hermione and talk about her form. He couldn't quite believe it still and immediately started fidgeting when he sat in the front row, awaiting his instruction. Severus observed the distracted behaviour and narrowed his eyes when he placed the parchment in front of his Slytherin. He was eager, too eager, and immediately using the teen's track record surmised that there was something amiss.

"Potter, before you begin." Harry glanced up, just as he dipped the end of his quill into the ink, "I must request you inform me of what has you in such high spirits."

"Am I not allowed to be happy, sir?" He asked, his hand paused in the air, trying to steady his quill in the pot.

"Your eagerness to leave is worrying."

"Oh, Hermione managed her Animagus form and she's going to show me." Harry beamed, thinking he was off the hook.

"Potter, by the time you are finished here, you have half an hour before curfew. I certainly hope you are not thinking of being out any later than that. It would be _very_ disappointing if you were."

Harry didn't feel so happy after that comment and realized his mistake in telling his Professor immediately. Deflating rather quickly, he took the quill out and started to write out his lines that were scrawled across the top of the parchment slowly. He decided not to answer or respond to the man who still happened to be standing in front of him, no doubt watching to see if there was any chance he could assign another detention. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy spending any time he could with Professor Snape, but he really wanted to share Hermione's success.

"Potter." Severus put both hands on the edge of the desk, looming over his student.

"Sir." Harry refused to look up, sulking.

"If I catch you out of bed this evening, there will be consequences."

"You won't."

Severus bristled at the confident response but decided not to goad his student further and left to tend to matters in his office. When he was gone, he heard movement from within the room and a blue glow catching a shadow on his door when he glanced up at it. He certainly hoped that was Harry sending a message to the Ravenclaw to postpone their celebrations, but he knew the teen's reputation and would be waiting for him to leave the common room this evening.

Not wanting to tempt fate, like he so often did, Harry _had_ in fact sent a Patronus message to the Witch, her response was delayed but she had understood. Severus on the other hand felt conflicted when he arrived at breakfast the following morning, unsure of whether he was pleased Harry followed his instruction or irritated he couldn't have spent that little bit extra time with him in the evening.

The latter really did sound ridiculous when he thought back on it after his first cup of coffee because he was going into the forest again with the teen later that day. He reasoned that after a full on week that his tiredness last night and this morning before his coffee had him feeling sentimental and soft. No, it was good that Harry stuck to the rules for once, it certainly made a positive change in his behaviour, now all he needed to do was ensure his Slytherin stuck by said rules. Any student of his, he hated hearing that they were in trouble and had cost his house a deduction of points, but for Harry to do the same, he felt as though it was a direct reflection of his teaching and guidance.

Proof of this was when the Headmistress sat down and commented on how quiet it had been lately that the younger Slytherin was staying out of mischief. She sounded relieved and happy by this fact and he found himself nodding, though he couldn't say that it was his mentoring that had caused such a change. Harry was a determined student when he put his mind to things, determined but also reckless, especially when he was bored. Knowing this track record, Severus assumed it was only a matter of time before boredom sunk in and he would be dealing with a troublemaker once more.

"How has he been outside of the classroom, Severus?" Minerva's words pulled him back from the internal musings, not realizing he'd been watching the brunette since the moment he stepped into the hall.

"Relatively grounded. I believe unlocking his Animagus was a constructive use of his idle time."

"Is it consistent?"

Severus knew what that question meant, she too obviously knew how the teen operated, having taught and scolded him frequently since the moment he stepped into the school no doubt. He wanted to say that he had been but whilst it had seemed like a rollercoaster behind closed doors, to the outside world it appeared as though things were settling. Now he found himself in a difficult position, knowing he should tell her that not everything was smooth sailing, but not wanting to lie blatantly in her face. To give himself more time, he topped up his coffee and took another long sip, watching Harry carefully from above the cups rim.

"I would like him to be more leveled," He started and Minerva purse her lips, "However, he is displaying understanding that physical violence is not the correct action to pursue."

"I suppose that is a start." The Headmistress nodded and Severus narrowed his eyes at her dull tone.

"Forgive me, Minerva. You know this is not an easy time for him and there are other underlying issues that he is dealing with. Apologies if my diplomatic answer does not appease your curiosity but I have this handled." Severus finally snapped, then finished the rest of his coffee.

"Severus."

"No." He hissed quietly, nodding his head sideways at Harry before he left the head table.

Watching the man go, the younger Slytherin waited for a moment before turning back to the Headmistress to find her simmering silently at her seat, looking down at her plate. He'd heard the terse words, not the content but the tone, and had every belief it was about him. Discarding Ron who was also mulling through his own issues, he stood and followed a distance behind his Head of House. He'd thought they'd meet in the entrance hall but when he saw the flicking of black robes around the corner he darted after the man.

He was only able to catch up half way across the bridge and awkwardly powerwalked to try and keep up with the long strides. It was clear Professor Snape was seething about something so he remained quiet even though he wanted to express his concern as they walked, well almost jogged, to the forest. Stopping at the rock, Harry found he was almost out of breath and had to take a minute to recollect himself before he dared to speak.

"You didn't happen to be talking about me… were you?" He asked timidly, fearing an outburst.

None came however and his nervousness was unnecessary as Severus breathed deeply, staring into the tall trees as if considering something. He had yet to fully appreciate his panther form, he had been wandering a handful of occasions but never experiencing the true power in his legs. Cats were powerful machines, able to sprint, climb and dodge. Not having anything remotely interesting to chase, he had an idea but wanted to make sure someone else was ready for something like that.

"Harry, how confident are you in exploring further this time?" Severus turned his head away to watch the reaction and was pleased to see his student didn't immediately pale.

"With you? Probably further but… I wouldn't know until I try." Harry responded honestly, now sitting on the edge of his rock, letting both legs swing alternatively.

"Tell you what, Harry. Can you remember the small lake's location within the forest from here?" With both hands in his pockets, he leaned against the rock, side-facing his Slytherin.

"Er, I think so…" Glancing into the forest, he nodded slowly, "It's pretty much straight that way isn't it? Why?"

"I saw you interacting with Hagrid when you first managed your form. How do you fancy a race?"

"A-A race? As in… r-running through the f-forest to the lake?" Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing, it was like the man had read his mind about free running together but was he ready for that?

"It will only be a race if you can keep up of course." Letting a smirk pull at his lips, he was goading the teen and distracting him from the obvious pain he might feel once inside.

"Keep up? I'll have you know that I'm very fast." Puffing out his chest and sitting up straight, Harry's expression changed.

The older Wizard hummed gently, a deep noise that was almost unheard before he closely leaned forward, "Prove it."

 **. . .**

The sound of paws hitting dirt thudded through the mostly silent forest as a wolf and panther chased each other down. Harry couldn't believe his luck; this had been precisely what he'd dreamt of. This was freedom, this was being unchained and set free! _We will unchain those wings_. Professor Snape had been right and all it had taken was some brave and foolhardy Gryffindor antics to push them both, intellectually and physically.

Harry saw a clearing and sped off in that direction, he thought he'd passed his Professor but the panther jumped down from a felled log and over top of him, landing with a deep thud before sprinting off again. It was like he was being toyed with, the older Wizard would let him lead for a bit but then sprint past him. He would have felt the injustice more if he wasn't having the time of his life and saw another clearing, shooting off and splitting up.

Severus saw the grey fur diverting off and decided to change track also. He had read up on black panthers, noting their abilities for ground chase and aerial. There weren't many trees that he could climb to get such a good vantage point or to explore, so he was limited to darting amongst the fallen trees, jumping between them and cutting off a certain determined grey wolf. If cats could smile, he certainly would be but to see the younger Wizard gaining some ground on him once again, he pounded against the rotting wood of a felled trunk and darted off in front of him once more.

It was hard work, panthers were not known for their long distance chase and he could feel it in his muscles as the lactic acid started to build up. An Animagi did not just inherit their spirit animals abilities, but also incorporated his own. Severus was not known for his athleticism or strong muscles, therefore his endurance and power were starting to decrease the closer they got to their target. That's where the teen was able to gain precious ground on him, being both sportsman and younger in age, his strength and fortitude were greater. So, not wanting to play around any further, Severus put his determined mind to the task and jumped over a large rock, seeing the lake in his sights.

Harry saw it too but could also see how far ahead the man was and slowed his pace. There was no way he would be able to catch him now, and especially not when there was a small incline ahead of him. His breathing ragged, he slowed into a trot and snuck around a different way, knowing he wouldn't be able to scale the rock that was in front of him.

Severus wasn't in much better shape when he arrived and hung his head low to the ground as he came to a stop next to the lakes edge. He eyed the water carefully, not knowing if he could really bring himself to drink something so stale and dirty but then again, animals did that didn't they and he had seen Harry playing fetch with a dead squirrel, so it couldn't be all that bad. True to his thoughts, it wasn't and he lapped up the cool water as he waited for Harry to arrive.

However, he couldn't see the wolf anywhere and his ears perked up at the realization that he was now alone. Racking his brain, he had been sure he saw his student just behind him coming into the final stretch of their race, so to not see him now was concerning. _Perhaps I pushed him too far_ , he thought, stepping away from the water and heading in the direction he last saw his student. Seeing nothing, he was about to take another step forward when a rustling could be heard from his side and he turned his taunt head just as a grey blur erupted and pushed him sideways. Out of shock, he clawed at the animal that dared to attack him and as they rolled he managed to stop them with a well placed paw, half of his body pressing the other into damp forest fauna and teeth exposed as if he were about to bite.

When he heard the whine, he stopped and saw what had jumped out at him. Instead of backing off however, he growled a deep and guttural sound that caused the gangly-limbed wolf to shudder, whether it be out of fear or something else, Severus did not know. But he remained where he was, one paw off to the side, the other pressing the young wolf into the dirt as his body secured the rest. He knew exactly what Harry was trying to do but attacking him like that possibly wasn't the best way to get his attention.

The wriggling form beneath him caused his focus to go from the surroundings, down to the unsettled wolf and he allowed himself to stand, looming over the slimmer animal with a dark, imposing glance. He fully overpowered his student in many ways, size being the obvious one as he stood, angled across the grey canine. But like an obstacle in his way, he simple moved forward and over the younger Wizard, stepping over him as if he were a rock and wandered back to the waters edge to have one more drink.

Harry's mind was reeling, he felt very conflicted at present, but that was mainly because he was finding the way in which he had been growled and dominated rather seductive. Animals weren't supposed to make one feel such things and as he rolled over, flopping his legs onto one side so he could watch the elegant black form drinking _attractively_ from lake, he groaned and dropped his head into the pine needles. The scent wasn't pleasant for him, in fact, when he closed his eyes to try and stop himself from checking out a panther, he saw something even more unsavory.

Whining he shook his head and looked about, suddenly coming to terms with how far into the forest he was. Frantically combing his blue eyes over every single tree, each shadow that presented itself caused a knot of anxiety to build within his stomach. The more he turned and twisted, spying the shadows, the worse it became and that's when panic finally set in. He didn't know what to do, he was far away from anything that would be safe, Professor Snape was the only one there with him but in his panicked mind, he couldn't think about anything else but getting the hell out of there.

Severus paused in his drinking and glanced over his shoulder to see an agitated wolf looking about wildly. If he didn't know any better, he would have assumed the teen had finally realized where they were and didn't know how to deal with it. His actions were swift, brutal and strong. He may have struggled at the end of their run but he could easily take on Harry in this form, unlike his human one that had possession of a wand.

Slamming the grey head firmly into the ground, he put a fair amount of strength behind his leg and held Harry down on the ground. It did nothing to calm him so he then lowered the rest of himself down, covering most of Harry's upper body and hind legs once more. It was slightly more difficult to remain firm in his grasp of the smaller head but he was able to stop the jerky movements long enough for some of the fear to disappear.

Harry didn't feel like it was disappearing however, and only remained still for a moment because he came to the conclusion that the more he struggled the more he would simply tire himself out. There was no point in changing back into is human form either, he would still be pinned down and would have even less strength. He couldn't see much either from the positioning of the paw holding his head down, but it didn't help because when he closed his eyes he saw Voldemort's red eyes. Opening them and he saw the trees and feeling as though he was about to meet his death once more.

Severus had to calm Harry down, the longer this went on the worse it was going to get, so he thought about different ways he could go about it. One stuck out immediately but he was hesitant, it would be giving Harry what he truly wanted, not that the idea of it repulsed him but… He would need to clarify at a later stage what the intentions of his actions really meant so they did not have miscommunication again.

Feeling the wolf still beneath him as he nuzzled against the freely exposed neck, he tried to find the right place that would render the younger Wizard at his mercy. However, the body wasn't relaxing, though it had stopped struggling, so he tried again, nudging just below the ear. This time he was rewarded with a gentle whimper and uneven breaths, some of the tension leaving those thing limbs. But it wasn't good enough; he needed to remind Harry that he was safe with him, whether it was beside him, or underneath.

Severus wondered if later he would regret his decision to lap languidly at the neck of his student twice who was in the form of a grey wolf; or shudder distastefully at the way said form relaxed immediately with a keening whine. However, for the moment it seemed a crisis had been averted and for extra measure, he laid his black furred head along the top front leg when he still held his student down. Not being conscious of the fact all cats could purr, he even surprised himself, that upon exhale, his chest vibrated gently as one worked its way out.

Harry blinked, not believing what he was experiencing in that moment. Severus Snape, a black panther, was purring on top of him. If he hadn't just been having an anxiety attack on his surroundings he'd have taken the time to appreciate it more and smiling up at the stoic animal. As it was, he couldn't muster the energy to move or make a sound, so enjoying it for what it was, he allowed his eyes to close and thinking about surreal it all felt.

 **. . .**

 _ **Authors Note:**_ _ **The next update may be delayed (SORRY). I'm moving flats and work is super crazy busy for me right now. I promise you that something exciting will happen within the next two chapters, but it'll be a matter of finding time to write it all out.**_


	43. Chapter 43

**.**

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **It's actually a little funny because I had no intention on that being a cliff hanger haha. Sorry.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **A teacher you reckon? Mmm and yes, purring Severus is quite appealing really.**_

 **#Hann22:**

 _ **I have thought about Draco's, did you have any suggestions? Moving this weekend aaaand it's scheduled to rain. Wonderful -_-**_

 **#CallicaXx:**

 _ **Haha a cougar? Lol, you might be right… Awks for the age gap (but we turn a blind eye to that). Smitten Kitten, that actually works seeing as he's a cat!**_

 **. . .**

Finally able to sit with his friends during class and meals, Harry settled back into his routine fairly quickly. It was a relief actually and he found the stress he'd been under those previous weeks seemed to simmer down. However, one thing that stuck in his mind from that weekend had his mind otherwise occupied when he wasn't doing homework, Quidditch practice or in class. It was something so outlandish and surreal that he almost believed he'd made it up; and that was the simple, but very real, action of Professor Snape, in his panther form, licking his neck.

The book on mating was still in Harry's bag and he couldn't help but flick through it again to see if anything had been misinterpreted. Alas, he hadn't been wrong and if they had of been human forms; his Professor would have essentially kissed him. In the dazed mess he had been unable to appreciate for what it was worth and he tried to tell himself that it was a way of making sure he was okay, to calm him after panicking. Which, as a fact, was the real reason for the action even though his body wanted to tell him something else.

 _Think nothing of it. You were disorientated and confused_.

Well, that's what Professor Snape had said when they were heading back to the castle. Not that it was very fair, it didn't just have the desired effect but had caused him more inappropriate thoughts as the days went by and his imagination went wild. Literally. The whole situation was getting out of control and he needed to remind himself that there were more important things to worry about than why his Head of House had this strange expression on his face when he greeted him during their Defence class.

"Is it just me, or does he seem off." Harry whispered to Draco, who subtly looked up as they sat at the back of the room.

"No, he's staring at you. What have you done?"

"What? Why do you always assume I've done something wrong?" Harry asked, just as Hermione came to sit.

"Because usually you _have_ done something to warrant extra attention." The Ravenclaw commented non-chalantly.

Harry huffed and frowned down at the unopened book he'd pulled out before glancing up to where his Professor was just turning around to pick an object up off his desk. Today they were looking at different uses curses and traps could be incorporated into everyday objects, which was a fascinating topic but Harry wasn't all that interested right now. Instead he stared at the chalk board, reading the neat scribe and following its curved lines. Propping his head up on his hand and letting his eyes glaze over, he let his mind wander and found himself nestled in high grass of a lush open plain.

The breeze was warm and brushed through his fur, causing a pleasant shiver to work through his spine. It was a warm summers day, the sun shone brightly, illuminating each colour perfectly. He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, enjoying the way his body seemed weightless and free. _I will help free your mind. We will unchain those wings so they may stretch and grow. You will learn how to control your emotions and hopefully discipline your mind._ The sentiment echoed casually in the air, but it was said without words, more a feeling of security and support.

Stretching out his legs and looking about, there was a dark spot seemingly hidden in the tufts of long green grass that caught his attention. Both ears swiveled round so they were pointing in that direction, anything to give any indication of what was coming towards him. Crouching low, he crawled forward, the rusting sound getting closer and the figure within the grass becoming clearer. Pointing his snout in the air, it was clear there was no danger as a familiar scent filled his nose pleasantly. However, this didn't stop him from growling in a playful manner, he wanted to tease his friend, he wanted mischief and light-hearted fun.

Harry was smiling stupidly at the board, unaware of the learning around him but Severus was not so blind to see the distance expression. He didn't see it a direct reflection of his teaching but found it insulting that the teen found it better to stare into oblivion rather than focus on what was being said. Currently holding a rare artifact, he was tempted to hurl it across the room to snap the younger Wizard out of his pleasant daydream but refrained and instead side-eyed Draco, nodding his head to the brunette's direction.

Draco frowned when he saw it and was about to elbow his friend, when Hermione beat him to it and started hissing at his Slytherin classmate. So, Harry hadn't been paying attention again but that wasn't new, Draco too struggled on occasion and the only reason he was so engaged at present was because he still had his Animagus lessons going. It helped keep his mind active but to see he could also slip into boredom after it was completed, seemed disheartening.

Harry grumbled, already missing his fantasy of playing with a black panther but committed to at least pulling his pencil forward and spying what page they were supposed to be looking at in their textbooks, he tried to catch up. His mind and heart weren't in it however and at the end of class when he spied his Professor packing away the material he'd been using, he felt incredibly guilty. He should be trying to pay attention, at least in Defence, so he could show the man he respected him.

Dueling club later that week was no better, but at least he'd shown up, much to his Professor's insistence. He couldn't understand why, he didn't have anything to teach the younger students but with nothing else better to do, here he found himself, sat on a bench and out of the way looking bored. To Severus, this was a greater insult than not showing up at all and rolled his eyes at the way his Slytherin slouched, disinterested. The younger Wizard should be up front and center showing the other students how things were done, not cowering away in the corner.

Shuddering at his poor choice of words, the screaming sound of _coward_ rattled him slightly and he wandered off to the other side of the room where a large group of second years were watching nervously. They had only been to the introductory demonstration that had been between Harry and Draco and had come along to see if this might happen once more. Unfortunately, with the poor state the newest Slytherin senior was in, he doubted that would happen and urged the new students to seek one of the others.

Severus didn't do sulking, and that was essentially what Harry was doing, so going over to him he decided that a gentle reminder of why they were there should motivate him to at least hold an expression. The teen didn't even look up when he approached and narrowed his eyes downwards, standing straight and working a sneer forward, though it seemed unnatural.

"Potter, if you are here then at least make yourself useful and help the other students."

"Sir, you were the one that wanted me to be here, so…" He held out his hands and shrugged.

"I would rather you not be here at all then if this is the attitude you are going to sport."

" _Make up your mind then_." Harry mumbled, leaning both arms against his thighs and looking between his legs.

"Congratulations on earning another detention, Potter. See me this evening." Severus glared, feeling even more riled that he wasn't getting any reaction from his Slytherin.

Harry let out a breath when his Head of House walked away. He had of thought that with the return of his routine and being allowed to sit with his friends, things would have felt better but for some reason they didn't. He had this niggly feeling in the back of his mind that was telling him something was off but he couldn't place what it was. He hadn't felt unnerved like this for a while now, it had appeared the day prior, like a gentle twisting knot in his stomach and had gotten worse over the day.

"Uhm, Harry Potter?" A small voice startled the Slytherin and he looked over to see a couple of second year Ravenclaw students, huddled closely together.

"That's me." He replied, trying very hard to keep the sarcasm out of his tone.

"Could we ask you a question?" The male asked again, and Harry nodded, "Well, is it true you're an Animagus?"

Feeling his chest tighten, the Slytherin wondered how best to answer that question. He obviously couldn't flat out deny it because there were several people who had seen his form. To be honest, he wondered why it hadn't circulated more aggressively since he'd had a go at Ron but perhaps people were scared to bring it up? It certainly seemed like these two had their heads on strong to be have been brave enough to approach him.

"Who told you that?" He asked instead.

"We heard some Gryffindor's talking about it, we wondered if it was true."

Harry knew exactly who they would have overheard speaking about it and found one of the culprits standing in a group of younger Gryffindor's, acting up and being a fool. The group was laughing at the antics, but he dragged his eyes away when he saw a black monster stalking towards them.

"Yes."

The two looked to each other, got very excited, then turned as one back to him and asking if they could see it. He denied them however, this was not the right setting for such thing and he still wanted to keep it a bit of a mystery. The Headmistress had told him not to broadcast it and knowing Ravenclaws, he could only imagine what would fuel their fires enough to try and learn themselves. It wasn't as if there weren't any books on the process in the library that were easy enough to procure, not including the restricted section.

"Maybe another time, this is supposed to be dueling practice." Harry reminded them and they nodded.

"Could you show us things, then?"

"What did you want to know? Second years are only just learning the basics of disarming." The Slytherin could remember being taught his favourite disarming charm when he was their age.

"Well, Professor Snape has only just covered off, _Expelliarmus_ , but I can't seem to get it right." The other student who had been standing next to their friend finally spoke up.

Severus tore apart the Gryffindor's promptly and kicked two of them out into the corridor for the distractions. Disbanding the group, they dispersed into others or left also but he wasn't too concerned with that. In the corner, he could see the back of Ravenclaw robes where Harry had been sitting and then saw a Slytherin robe flick into view as the teen threw his arm sideways. Pursing his lips, he certainly hoped his student was doing something constructive with the two and meandered through the room until he had a better view.

Harry had hold of the Ravenclaw's hand, changing its tilted position and imitated a flicking movement. Focusing on that happening across the room, Severus continued to watch as the Slytherin then pointed to the other student and had them stand with wand out a few meters back. Huffing, he knew _exactly_ what was being taught and caught himself rolling both eyes. _After everything and he still favours that spell over all others._ At this he turned his attention elsewhere, leaving Harry to teach his students a basic spell.

 **. . .**

Knocking on his Professor's door, he let himself in and found said man sitting at the desk with a large stack of paper. Walking past the older Wizard, he muttered a basic greeting before settling on the couch. It served the man right that he had lots of marking, he shouldn't give out so much so he was snowed under all the time, though, to be fair it wasn't Wednesday night and he believed this was actually a detention. Not that it felt like one.

"See, that wasn't so hard. Was it, Harry?" Severus spoke from behind his paper to which the younger Wizard frowned.

"I still wouldn't make a career out of it. What a massive insult to the likes of you, sir." Harry replied, slouching and resting his feet on the edge of the coffee table.

"Ah, Harry, your compliments flatter me so."

Looking over the back of the couch at where the man was now sitting straight, he caught himself frowning at the, almost playful, tone. From there, a wave of uneasy emotions flowed through him and twisted in his stomach almost painfully. Wincing silently, he looked away and focused on his hands that were in his lap. He couldn't quite understand it but remained silent until the man was ready to give him attention, there had to have been a reason why he was summoned this evening. Actually, he hoped it was more than just being testy as he had been this afternoon.

On the coffee table in front of him was the Wizarding cookery book that his Professor had said he would leave out for him. Harry still found humor in this, it seemed bizarre to be cooking with magic; even though he'd watched Molly Weasley partially cook this way, she'd always used her hands to do it manually. _Manually_ , he puffed out of his nose at the thought. Growing up in a Muggle world, food was made by hand, not through magic.

Opening the book, he flicked through a couple of pages and looked to see if any of the pictures looked appealing. Jumping straight to the desserts he saw crumbles, strudel, lemon tarts, and most importantly chocolate cakes and other sweets. He hummed quietly as he saw the glossy delicacy that was dripping frosting. Moving his gaze to the recipe, he hadn't seen anything quite so complex for just food. Potions yes, but this was food, he couldn't quite fathom it.

"I find myself unsurprised that this would be something that interests you." Severus commented, making Harry jump as he stopped from behind.

"You know me, sir. I love chocolate." He replied, and then dropped his head backwards to look up at the man looming from behind.

"Indeed."

"Sir, why am I here? What did I do?"

"You assume you are in trouble."

"Well, you obviously didn't like my attitude and then said – _congratulations on earning another detention, Potter –"_ Harry imitated his Head of House in a deep voice, "But I'm not sure why."

Severus did nothing but watch as his student's face was turned back down to the book, the mocking tone worthy of a reprimand, but delayed due to the fact he really didn't know why he'd gotten Harry to come back and see him this evening. In the silence that followed, the older Wizard too felt something uneasy working its way into his abdomen. He didn't know how to respond to the question, why had he told Harry to come back here?

"I find it interesting that after all this time, your go to spell, is one you learnt from _me_."

Raising an inquisitive and confused eyebrow, Harry incredulously glanced down at the book. That wasn't an answer to his question; in fact he was bypassing any indication of having heard it in the first place. Slouching further in the couch, Harry propped the book in his lap and continued to read the instructions on how to make a chocolate cake without ever touching an oven.

"Why package myself into a nicely wrapped box when I can duel my own way."

"It certainly was your signature move."

"Are you really complaining?"

Why were things odd all of a sudden, was it because he still hadn't been given a reason to be here? No, Harry usually loved being here and even tried to make their meetings more than once a week, so why was this such an issue suddenly? His Professor was still standing behind him also, _come and sit down already_.

"No." Severus's hand was on the back of the couch, precariously close to his students shoulder.

"Besides, I had a lot of success with it. Even if it made me predictable."

"And your success is nothing to scoff at."

"Yet you did, many times, over the years."

"Do you blame me for wanting to push you?"

"Push me off a ledge? I probably deserved it." Twisty, sickening waves developed in Harry's body, making him feel sick.

"Nonsense." Severus let out a small chuckle and decided to take a seat next to his student, however he was not expecting to see a sight of discomfort, "Harry?"

Worried green eyes looked up at him as he approached, and he swiftly nudged the feet off his coffee table, realizing he should have said something about that earlier. The teen seemed nervous and agitated but not out of anger, more like worry. His face was also flushed, uncommon because the younger Wizard generally took on a pale and sickly complexion. That wasn't to say he too wasn't feeling strange, as if a knife was tempting fate with his stomach, so he empathized for lack of a better action as he sat with an arm along the back of his couch.

"Sorry, sir… I don't feel all that flash."

Reaching up and placing the back of his hand across a hot forehead, he nodded and wondered what he had that would alleviate any discomfort but for that he needed to know what exactly was being felt. When he asked, Harry placed a hand over his abdomen and likened his feelings to anxiousness or as though he felt uneasy about something. Not being able to pinpoint, he could tell it was starting to put stress on the teen so he took the hand off Harry's forehead and ran his thumb along his defined jaw. It did nothing to calm his Slytherin however and went to find a calming draught.

"I think I must have eaten something off." Harry commented, closing the book that was laying unread across his lap and put it on the coffee table.

"When did this feeling begin?"

Taking the vial from his Professor, Harry got thinking about what had happened the past few days and realized it was something that had started when he'd gone back to classes in the fresh week. It couldn't be food related if it had steadily been growing from then and he certainly didn't remember taking any medicines or gifts from other students in that time. The only interactions he'd had were with the man in front of him, Hermione, Draco and Luna with Neville. He wouldn't put it past the Gryffindor's to have spiked something but after the third day, he would have noticed something more… wouldn't he?

"Start of the week, I think… How long does it take for poisons to set in?" Harry worried his bottom lip before taking the calming draught.

"I can assure you, it is not poison. Has this helped?" Severus asked, seeing his student take in a deep breath before opening his eyes again.

"I think so."

"You may have an anxiety attack looming, certainly after our trip into the forest, your mind is most likely on high alert giving you false receptors of fear. I suggest you head straight back to the common room, have a long shower, then go to sleep."

Harry nodded, trying to remain in his calm state.

"Would you let me know how you feel in the morning?" Severus pocketed the empty vial and put a hand on Harry's shoulder, turning him gently to escort him towards the door.

"Should I see Madame Pomfrey in the morning if I'm not?"

"That might be a wise idea." Severus nodded, looking down at his student in concern, "I will see you tonight should it be required."

Harry nodded, the sickening feeling growing worse as he stepped into the man's arms and held him steady. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the warmth coming from the black robes and took in a deep breath. This usually did the trick when he was feeling on edge but instead of it helping, he found something opposite happening. Apologizing when he stepped back, he found a hand being carded through his hair before he looked up to see a very vulnerable expression greeting him.

"I'll… Goodnight, sir." Harry said, being let out of the room.

He wasn't sure if he would sleep at all tonight with this feeling, it was awful. He'd never experienced this before, usually when he was feeling anxious it would be linked to a flashback or memory of the war but nothing of the sort was coming to his mind. Trying for a shower when he got back to the dormitory, the heat did nothing to relax him and instead caused his mind to go foggy and irritable. When he stepped out of the shower, dressed in his pajamas, a lurch in his stomach was all the warning he was given before the contents suddenly travelled upwards.

Draco was brushing his teeth at the time when he heard the gurgled sound of someone retching before he heard something liquid splash on the floor. He found himself gagging at the sound as he brushed away, having to spit and rinse to stop the threat of his own dinner resurfacing. Whoever that poor soul was, as a senior student, he should make sure they were okay and went over to the shower stall, knocking gently so they knew someone else was there.

"… _Draco…"_

Blinking, Harry's weakened voice sounded through the partition and he ripped the door open, not caring if he was naked of not. Thankful that his friend did in fact wear clothing, he winced at the sight of vomit before the smell hit him and he covered his mouth.

"Merlin, Harry. What did you eat?" The blonde asked, stepping forward and flicking the shower on to wash away the evidence.

"I don't know what's wrong with me." Harry replied helplessly, being helped up.

"You were just with Professor Snape, weren't you?"

"He said I should be fine… But this hasn't really helped." Feeling light headed, Harry managed to pick up his towel off the ground and turned the water off again when the shower was clean.

"I'll get you some water. Maybe sleep will help?" Draco offered, leaving the stall first and getting his own toiletries.

Nodding numbly, Harry finally made it into bed, stomach still churning as he looked up at the ceiling. He felt calm, that was only because of the potion he'd been given, but the rest was unable to be controlled. What was it with this feeling? He just didn't understand it and the way his night was panning out, he sort of felt out of character. The scenes that he reflected upon through out the day came to him as if he had been watching from a distance, like he wasn't watching from his own eyes. Everything was a blur and confusing, he felt his body moving about but his mind two steps behind. It was all very disconcerting.

The calming draught did nothing to ease his mind however, and unwillingly he found himself replaying old interactions he'd experienced with Professor Snape. They weren't consistent memories, some were made up scenarios that got mixed up with the real ones. One memory would start with a class but end in the man's office or in his private rooms, their positions questionable but some natural as they embraced one another.

In the early hours of the morning, having tossed and turned the entire time and only having a couple hours of reprieve, he tried for the shower once more. Taking his time to scrub and scratch at every part of skin, he felt compelled to cleanse himself of whatever seemed to be eating away at him. This time, his stomach held itself in check and after another hour he was up and dressed, sitting in the common room waiting for an acceptable time to leave. He didn't care about curfews in the morning, all anyone seemed to be concerned about were the nightly ones.

 _Professor Snape said I should let him know how I feel but every time I think about going to see him, my stomach knots further._

Sighing, he took his bag and walked out into the corridor. He didn't feel like facing the man at this point so he made the trek out in the chilly morning air to the owlery. He called out for Evan and waited as several disgruntled owls hooted at him angrily for having woken them from a peaceful slumber. Not caring in the slightest because he hadn't slept himself, he was soon graced with the familiar presence of a small black owl. His pain eased for now as he greeted the bird, stroking him with the back of two fingers.

"Hi Evan." He said softly, taking a deep breath and calming slightly, "I was wondering if you could deliver this to him this morning. But not right away, wait until breakfast is underway, okay?"

It always amazing him how intelligent owls were, he had no doubt magical ones were more in tuned with there way of life and allowed them to understand what was being said. But whatever it was, Evan lifted and bobbed his head in the same way Hermione had nodded at him the other day and worked at securing the small roll of parchment around the slender leg.

"Thanks." He smiled at the bird he was now friendly with and let it nuzzle against him for a moment.

His next stop was the Hospital Wing, he hadn't wanted to wake Madame Pomfrey too early but was more relieved than pleased when he saw her sitting at the corridor based desk as she shuffled through some papers. At his footsteps, she glanced over to him, slightly huffing and straightening, obviously finding amusement and humor in his regular return. It did nothing for how he was feeling however and he grumbled quietly as he approached.

"Potter, it is very early this morning."

"I know, Matron, I'm sorry but I don't know what's wrong with me." Twisting and knotting.

"Well, come through and tell me what it is you are experiencing." She took a clipboard and walked into the Infirmary, finding a cot in the middle of the room as someone had already occupied the closest to the door and was surrounded by a curtain.

"What is wrong then, Potter?" She asked, standing in front of him as he sat on the edge of the bed.

 **. . .**

Storming into the Great Hall after having been thoroughly humiliated, Harry sat partway down the Slytherin table and shoved an apple into his mouth. Out of all the things he could have had wrong with him and it was something completely juvenile that he wanted to disappear into thin air. His face was still flushed from his embarrassment but he could do nothing about it, just a love struck teenager.

 _Gah, fuck… Professor Snape will know I went to Madame Pomfrey_.

He had written the man a note saying he'd felt no better and was going to get professional help at breakfast. Well, if his Head of House dared to make an appearance this morning it would just top everything else off. Luckily the next person to walk into the hall was Draco, who looked relieved to see him and took a seat on the opposite bench, facing him.

"Feeling better today?"

"Yeah, I saw Madame Pomfrey." He replied, biting hastily into the apple causing juice to escape out the corner of his mouth and dribble down his chin.

Unfortunately, it was at this precise moment a certain looming and indestructible force, known as Professor Snape, walked into the hall. His eyes immediately sought out the Slytherin table and when they connected with each other, Harry found himself blushing horrendously with further embarrassment and wiped his chin on the sleeve of his robes. Unable to maintain his gaze, he looked down at the table and put his apple down.

"What was that all about?" Draco asked, frowning at the weird actions.

"No one ever looks at me unless I have something hanging out my nose or covering my damn face." He whined, attempting to cover up the reason it was Professor Snape that caused this.

Draco snorted, "This is true."

The brunette was offered a smile at this, to which he returned gingerly and felt the last threads of uneasiness disappear, allowing him to enjoy the fruit he'd abandoned on his plate.

Whilst it should have provided a nice reprieve, it only lasted the morning due to the harassment from two Gryffindor's. He didn't know why he'd decided to travel down this corridor in the afternoon, or why he was alone for that matter but he was and regretted it immediately when Seamus and Cormac yelled at him from behind. They had evil smirks plastered on their faces but he turned back to where he was walking and tried to ignore them.

"I heard you're an Animagi." Seamus shouted again.

 _Wonderful, congratulations on hearing that_ , Harry grumbled, pulling on his bag straps tightly.

"Oh, that's right, Seamus I heard that too. I guess this school really _has_ gone to the dogs." Cormac laughed.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"I wonder how Snape feels about this. What do you reckon his Animagus would be… a bat perhaps?" Seamus sniggered, they were gaining precious ground on where Harry had his back turned to them.

"Hmm, I thought that too but you know how Potter likes it up the ass. Would make sense if they were _both_ dogs." Cormac sounded as though he was reasoning something.

"Ooh, really filthy. I bet Snape is an _animal_ in bed." The Irishman chortled.

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know!" Harry whipped around and snarled at them both. "Is there a reason you're always talking about him? I'd bet you fancy him Seamus!"

"Nice try, Potter – "

"Or better yet, seeing as the two of you enjoy roleplaying I'd say _you're_ gay!"

"You make it sound like _you are_ , Potter." Cormac's eyes narrowed into dangerous slits but Harry couldn't help the blush that appeared on his face or the dread that set into his organs.

"Well, well, Potter." Cormac leered, "I guess we were spot on after all. You'd love it for Snape to fuck you, it would be the best thing that's happened to you since your parents died."

The stab to his heart felt lethal and outside of what was happening in reality, Harry felt as though he was about to burst with the anger he felt. How dare they, why did they find it enjoyable to torment him like this, why bring up his secret preferences and then rub salt into those wounds by mentioning his parents dying. What was wrong with these males that things had turned out like this… They were once friends, fought alongside each other. No, they didn't have to face Voldemort themselves but a little acknowledgement would have gone a long way.

"Is this how you'd want it, Potter?" Seamus grabbed the Slytherin's shoulder and spun him around.

His bag slipped off from his shoulder and flew along the ground with the force of the movement but he had no chance of retaliating before he felt his hips being pulled back against another student, which happened to be Seamus. In his distant haze he could hear laughing, it was Cormac, and he hoped that Colin wasn't around to be capturing this on a camera or for anyone to be witness right now. This was degrading and demeaning, why was this happening to him?

"Oh, Potter, yes take it – take it all!" Seamus called, gyrating up against Harry's backside as he found himself bent over after the surprise of being handled.

"Get off me." Harry barked, trying to move out of the iron grip that was on his hips.

"Ooh, resistance, I bet Snape likes them to kick and scream." Cormac laughed, watching keenly at the scene in front of him.

"I – said – let – _GO!_ " Harry screamed; using all the energy he could to get the disgusting Gryffindor off him.

What happened next, was a blur to all involved.

 **. . .**

 **Sorry, sorry, sorry!**


	44. Chapter 44

**.**

 _ **The move was today, I am so shattered but I struggled through without a nap to proof this chapter before posting it. If I've missed some spelling/grammar, super sorry! But after the MOUNTAIN of frustrated reviews for the cliff hanger, I felt bad to keep you waiting any longer.**_

 _ **. . .**_

Minerva's heels clacked loudly against the stone floor as she hurried down the corridor, hitching the front of her robes as she did so. Magic wards around the castle had alerted her to some form of explosive magic and if the past was any indication, she hoped to Merlin's angels that what she would find was better than her worst fears. Poppy was hot on her heels, she too carrying half of her medical robes in haste to assess what lay beyond the corner.

"Oh my, _both of you_ , explain yourselves!" Minerva gasped, seeing the tattered ruins of Gryffindor robes and one bloodied face.

Poppy was quick to kneel in front of one Gryffindor, assessing the extent of his facial and neck wounds. Minerva had her wand out as a precaution and looked between her Gryffindor students with a hard face. They both seemed shaken, one rightly so, but knowing that these two boys were friends there had to have been something else going on.

"Potter! He just… He just attacked us for no reason! Bloody mutt used his animagus abilities and tore Seamus apart." Cormac wrapped both arms around his midsection, a chill causing him to get the shakes.

"Where do you suppose Potter is now?" Minerva asked.

"How should I know? He just ran off." The sandy haired Gryffindor replied angrily.

"Poppy?"

"He'll live, they aren't deep and I have just the thing that will heal them." The Matron commented, then inspected the neck wound more carefully, "This one will need a little more care. Come along, Mr. Finnegan, the sooner we get you downstairs the quicker we can have you mended."

"Away, all of you." The Headmistress shooed off the rubberneckers and spectators before rounding on the uninjured Gryffindor. "With me, you're going to tell me everything that happened."

"But Professor, that's all that happened." Cormac started but she whirled around and pinned him with a death glare.

"McClaggen, I was not born in the last shower, you are going to tell me what happened and then we will deal with it."

Looking chagrined, he didn't respond and followed diligently to the Headmistress's tower. When they arrived at the gargoyle, Severus was just approaching also, and she motioned for him to follow. Eying a disgruntled Gryffindor closely as he let the teen precede him, he wondered if this had something to do with the alert he'd felt that had him heading towards Minerva's office.

"Severus, do you know where Potter might be at this time?" The older Witch asked as they all filed into her office.

"Potter?" Sounding confused, "He should be in the study hall."

"Doubt it." Cormac muttered, but was silence quickly by Minerva.

"There has been an altercation, _what_ I have no idea yet but Mr. McClaggen is about to brief us. For reference, Severus, Mr. Finnegan is with Poppy and has been in better shape. He has been scratched on the face and upper body."

"Scratched?" Severus frowned.

"Well?" Minerva pointed her wand at Cormac and he sagged both shoulders.

Severus came to stand beside her as they congregated around the small round table and remained impassive. Whilst the Gryffindor looked shaken, he appeared to angry enough that he had his head on straight. To hear a student had been attacked and being questioned as to Harry's whereabouts he could almost guess what had happened but that was all speculation until the truth came out.

"Seamus and I were just minding our own business, walking down the corridor, when Potter came up to us and attacked. I think he has a hero complex or something, certainly trying to be the bigger Wizard by learning how to be an Animagi wasn't enough for him."

"And you did not at any point instigate a response from, Potter?"

"Why are you defending him? You don't know what he's like! It was savage, and he treated us like dinner. Just because he can't handle life after the war, doesn't mean he should be allowed to act like this."

"That's enough, McClaggen." Severus glared, the attack on Harry setting his teeth on edge, "I find this rather interesting as Potter came to me recently and mentioned having issues with the two of you following Mr. Weasley's incident."

"That just proves he's a dangerous beast."

"Severus, what are you saying?" Minerva turned her attention to her colleague.

"I have heard myself the rather vile comments these two Gryffindor's have been making about Potter, _and_ about myself. I am simply questioning the real reason for this attack."

"Is this true, McClaggen?"

Cormac went silent.

 **. . .**

Hermione was in the study hall, working through her Potion's homework when Draco came rushing over and sat in front of her. Startling the Witch, she looked up to see he had flushed cheeks and was panting, as if he'd been running. Aware they were in a silent area, she gave him a warning but expectant expression and he leaned forward to whisper.

"I think Harry's in trouble. You should have seen the state of Finnegan, I just passed him on the way past the Infirmary."

"What?"

"He's got a torn-up face and his robes are a mess."

" _Damn it, Harry_." She said, mostly to herself, "I knew something was going to happen. He's been off the past few days."

"I don't know if it was just this though, he was sick last night and didn't sleep. He really isn't coping at the moment." The blonde whispered.

Hermione leaned back when Madame Pince walked past them both, and she pretended to continue working as Draco pulled out his own homework.

"We should probably go and find him. He said Professor Snape was making him go to all study time, but I haven't seen him this afternoon." Hermione leaned forward again.

"Where would we even look? He doesn't use the Room of Requirement anymore and I doubt he's run off into the forest."

"Maybe he's already gone to Professor Snape?"

Draco nodded before looking out of the internal window and into the corridor. He was genuinely concerned for his friend because he understood the volatility of certain things that were happening. But if he'd gone to their Head of House, he wouldn't need to worry because for some bizarre reason, his Godfather was able to tame him, calm the errant decisions and emotions till he was calm and pliable once more. He didn't understand how that happened, considering the three of them were all enemies before the crux of the war but it _was_ happening and he couldn't do a thing to stop it. Frankly, to have his friend so close to his family, it meant their futures would be intertwined, hopefully.

 **. . .**

Severus and Minerva were now alone in her office, sitting in silence, thinking about the situation and how to proceed. The chat with the younger Gryffindor Wizard hadn't gotten them far but the Slytherin Head fof House was sure there had to be more to the situation than what was being said. He was firm in his belief but Minerva appeared hesitant.

"You cannot tell me that you are believing that pathetic story."

"Anyone looking at this from the outside would have to agree, Potter's actions were extreme."

"We do not even know what precisely happened, you want to expel him for endangering other students but have not even heard his side of the story."

"Severus, I do not even know where to begin looking for that boy. I've had Albus rally up the portraits but suddenly, none of them know what direction he went in."

At the mention of said Wizard, the grey man appeared in his portrait and sat in his chair, "He is possibly in the Dungeons. Although, Sir. Cadogan was positive he saw Harry darting outside."

Minerva gave Severus a blank look and then threw her hands lazily up in the air to show her frustration. At this, her colleague pulled out his wand and rolled it between his fingers in thought. Then, with a wide swish and flick, his Patronus appeared in front of him before darting off through the floor.

"I will find him and get to the bottom of the issue, you can speak to Finnegan and get his story."

"I would much rather speak with Potter myself." She clucked.

"Then once I have calmed him down, we will find you."

 **. . .**

Huddled in the smallest ball he could possibly muster, with legs curled up to his chest and arms holding them there, Harry sat shaking. His attention was taken for the moment when a signature doe leaped into the room and slowly approached him. With its snout to the ground, it looked at Harry's feet before walking over the object and nudging his wand wrist. Professor Snape was calling to him but, in that moment, he was unable to respond, for the device he needed to do such a task was lying in two pieces at his feet.

 **. . .**

"I am not interested in who we're blaming at this point, Mr. Finnegan. I am simply trying to ascertain what precisely happened so that _I_ may conclude who will be punished. Now, tell me from the beginning what transpired."

For a usually calm Witch, she had been wound tightly by the incident. She could not understand why there was so much resistance in the story and having only heard one perspective she was keen to find the other two but her Gryffindor was not being the most forthcoming.

"Simple, Cormac and I were just walking down the corridor, minding our own business and then Potter comes out of nowhere yelling at us. Then attacked me."

"And you did nothing to provoke him?"

"Professor, you taught me for seven years, you should know that I wouldn't have."

"I am not interested in the past, Mr. Finnegan, I am interested in why Potter felt it necessary to attack the two of you."

"Well, I've told you. It's not fair really, that he can learn to be an Animagus but it's not taught to the rest of us."

"Mr. Potter acted on his own terms and was given no guidance. However, I must impart to you the seriousness of learning such magic."

" _That seems fair_." Seamus whispered bitterly, slouching against the pillows of his hospital cot.

"Do you wish to add anything?" She ignored his sarcastic comment and pinned him with a no-nonsense glare.

"No Professor, but I trust you'll punish the correct person, Potter has gone insane."

"Watch your tongue, Mr. Finnegan." _That boy did more for the entire Wizarding community than you give him credit for_.

Without another word, Minerva left, feeling disheartened by the accounts given to her. She couldn't help but notice the similarity in both stories but of course, they had both been there and witnessed something rather stressful. The next step was to get the Slytherin's side of the story but that would have to wait until he had been found.

Severus found Draco in exactly the precise spot he had thought Harry should have been but to only see the Ravenclaw there with his Slytherin was cause for concern. They both looked up when he approached and the glance they shared meant they possibly did not know where Harry was either. Either way, he had to asked and when he did, he noted their hesitance.

"Sir, we thought he'd be with you." Draco said quietly, his eyes darting to Madame Pince who didn't appear to like Severus's appearance in her study hall.

At this he nodded and walked away but at the sound of feet following him, he peered over his shoulder and saw his Slytherin coming up behind him.

"Sir, what's happened? I hear rumors that Harry attacked Finnegan."

"I cannot tell you anything just yet as we do not know what exactly happened. Where would he be, Draco? When was the last you saw him?"

"I don't know. If he goes anywhere these days it's either to the common room or to see you. The other times he's with Granger but… as you can see he isn't there."

"Very well. Go back to your studies."

"Is he going to be okay?"

"I do not know."

That was the absolute truth, Severus didn't know if he would find Harry in a mess or perfectly fine and simply hiding. He took on board what the blonde had said however and wondered if the only safe place left was his own rooms, whilst he certainly hadn't intended on them being a hiding spot it was the only logical place he could think of. The Room of Requirement had been quiet lately, the forest was slowly getting better and anywhere else he would have heard where the teen was. He hadn't received a Patronus in response, so it begged the question on whether Harry wanted to be found, or if he was in a position where he _couldn't_ respond. The latter worried him most and with haste, followed the stairs towards his private chambers.

"What did he say?" Hermione murmured when her friend came back in.

"Well, he claims no one knows what happened but that was a lie. I just don't think he wants us to worry."

"The fact Harry is missing doesn't particularly fill me with confidence."

"No, especially when the castle is filled with portraits and ghosts." Draco snorted, before getting the disapproving clearing of a throat from Madame Pince.

Severus stepped into his rooms and immediately felt something was out of place. A dangerous aura presented itself when he closed the door and his eyes darted around the room to find the source. He didn't have to look very far as he took one step and noticed a shadow in the corner of his living area behind the dining table. Craning his neck and approaching carefully he took in the image of a small teenager, hugging himself and eyes wide.

" _Harry…_ "

Scared and clearly shaking, Severus started to crouch as he approached his student, noting the way he flinched back. Thinking that the teen probably thought he'd be furious over the attack, he stopped and crouched onto one knee. When he was down at this level, his eye caught something down by his student's aging school shoes and realized it was a wand, snapped in half. _Well, that explains why I received no response_ , he thought idly, before looking back up to his student.

"Harry, I need you to know I am not angry with you," This seemed to register with the teen, so he continued, "I am here to find you and ensure you are safe," Muscles appeared to relax somewhat, "Will you let me do that?"

He hadn't seen Harry this rattled in a while, anxious yes, but this despondant _child_ had seen or experienced something that had set him back more than a couple of steps. He did not believe for one second that the brunette had acted without reason but he still needed to maintain a level of control and calm because there was someone right now who needed care and attention before the wrath of Minerva McGonagall reigned down on them both.

The shuffle of feet sliding away from the tight ball the teen had created snapped Severus's attention back and he held one hand out, offering it to the teen in solace. The hesitance did not go unnoticed but he wasn't going to push just yet. A shaky hand was placed into his and he stood, pulling Harry up with him. Immediately both on their feet, Harry was taken quickly into a tight hug, slender fingers combing through unruly locks and pressing the notably cold student to his body.

Confused by the tension that seemed to stiffen the teen when this happened, Severus slackened his hold and leaned out of the embrace. Harry _never_ reacted this way, aside from the rather public shunning of his comfort recently, so this had all danger senses for the older Wizard going bezerk. He, of course, did not know what had occurred yet in the altercation but this had to be more than simply Harry approaching them and spinning out of control.

"You would prefer I did not hold you?"

"I've d-done somet-thing."

"Do not think about that for now, I need to know what you are feeling inside. Are the voices back? Are they whispering to you?" Severus remembered this being mentioned once when things were difficult.

It seemed however that Harry wasn't concerned about the question and instead looked between their feet where his wand lay broken. Whilst that was something they would be addressing later, the Defence Professor wasn't remotely concerned about it and went to pull his Slytherin away from it completely. His arm was around slender shoulders and directed them closer to the fire so his shaking student could get some warmth into his body, not that it was going to be that simple.

"Why aren't you angry with me?"

"Should I be? From where I am standing, my only concern is your well being."

'"I could have killed him."

"Again, that depends on what provoked you."

"Y-You seem so sure I'm innocent."

Severus nodded, wary about bringing the teen closer to him for a hug seeing as he had been so hesitant prior. His own hesitance was not required however, and on his own, Harry twisted so he could bury himself in the folds of enormous black robes. The shaking changed into something else quickly and shoulders started to tremble. Soon, tell tale sounds of crying surfaced from within his robes as emotions boiled over but all Severus did was hold the teen.

" _Would you like to sit?_ " Severus used a soft tone, one he had not used in quite some time.

"What's going to happen?" Harry asked, pulling out of the hug.

"The Headmistress is going to ask what happened."

"Aren't you?"

Severus pulled his upper body back so they could look at each other and inquired the teen with a simple raised eyebrow.

"Only if you wish to speak about it."

At this, Harry took two fists full of the his thick black robes and pushed himself against the solid body, bruying himself once more. Placing his hand on the teen's back, he rubbed gently, stroking in vertical movements whilst he stared at a spot on the adjacent wall. It took more time than he'd have liked and even anticipated but when Harry was ready, he pulled away completely. Severus frowned when movements began in the form of pacing backwards and forwards behind the couch.

Minerva too was pacing before she finally sat and pulled Ministry documents towards her for filing. This was not a good omen, if word got out about this attack and the tools within the Ministry were to find out she didn't think the Minister himself would be able to cover this up. Parents would be furious and students would feel unsafe; this wasn't how she'd wanted the new school year to pan out under her control. Obviously, she knew that things weren't as easy as that and incidents happened, daily, but things seemed to be a rollercoaster still.

A knock to her door had her on her feet quickly, even more so when she saw Severus had someone with him. The younger Wizard looked very small and had clearly been crying if the red rimmed green eyes were any indication.

"Severus, Harry." She nodded to them both before the air grew tense, Severus could feel the prickling effects on his student but chose to stay close and silent.

"He was in a safe place, Minerva but has not informed me of what happened. As you instructed, you wanted to speak with him about that."

She nodded, "I will admit that you look shaken, Potter. I have spoken to the others in regards to what happened so I need to know your depiction."

Harry nodded and looked at the ground, feeling his throat closing up a the prospect of having to divulge the details of his tormenting. If Seamus and Cormac had simply just been goading him about general matters then he would have freely admited what went on. However, this seemed a delicate matter, one that he was incredibly embarrassed about. This was about his Professor and him, a man that he actually _did_ think of in more than platonic ways but safe in the knowledge that his advances were deflected to maintain their friendship.

"Where did you say he was, Severus?" Minerva tried when her student didn't respond immediately.

"I can't tell you about what happened." Harry interrupted, not allowing his Head of House to answer the other question.

"Can't or won't, Potter? I will tell you right now that I'm in no frame of mind for games. There are serious consequences for your actions today so if you have anything to defend yourself, I suggest you tell me this instant." Minerva rest both hands in the edge of her desk as she spoke.

"I… What if I s-showed you, instead." He didn't think words would allow him to speak about the incident without his face flaming bright red, "I c-could extract my memories?"

Minerva looked unconvinced.

"Professor Snape and Professor Dumbledore will tell you I'm rubbish at memory things, I can't alter them, I wouldn't know how to." Harry continued and Severus nodded, shrugging lightly when the Headmistress looked at him.

"Your hesitance is troubling, Potter. If this is what it takes to get the truth out of you, then so be it."

At this Harry closed his eyes and dropped his shoulders. He was going to need a wand to do this and _his_ was in no way, shape or form able to cast magic. Peeking through his bangs at Professor Snape, who was standing close by, he saw the twitch of eyes turning to meet him. Severus realised the hesitance and was about to step forward when the Headmistress spoke once more.

"Potter." She warned and Harry reached into his pocket.

At the sight of his wand snapped in half, she closed her eyes and looked to the heavens, reigning in whatever tempter was threatening to rage forward. Both males could hear the muttered, _in the name of Godric_ , before she looked back down at them.

"This is not helping your situation, Harry."

"Perhaps I could be of assistance." Severus said, moving towards Harry with his own wand pulled and offered it.

The gaze he received was so open and vulnerable that it took Severus by surprise, but he nodded and then went to stand behind the teen. Taking the wand hand, bringing both of their arms up and angling the wand to Harry's temple. He knew his student would be unable to perform such magic so he was going to guide him through the process. There was a light shudder that worked through the malnourished frame but he refrained from touching anywhere too personal in front of the Headmistress. She was already watching them critically so his other hand went to the opposing shoulder so he was holding Harry in place. He then leant forward, his hair brushing the back of Harry's neck.

" _Bring the memory forward in your mind. It will pinch, do not resist as it will be more painful._ " His voice was nothing but a whisper.

The silvery substance that began to withdraw from the teen's temple _did_ hurt but he tried to relax himself as it happened. When the warmth from his Professor left and the pulling inside his head vanished, he turned to see his hand being moved towards the penseive that had materialised from somewhere. The knot of anxiousness started twisting in his stomach at that moment and the air grew cold, almost uninvitingly so. Severus took back his wand carefully and slipped it up his sleeve once more leaving Harry to look at his hand that it had been in and feeling strange that he'd just done magic with Professor Snape's wand. His palm tingled lightly.

"What precisely are we going to see, Potter?"

Harry looked at the older Witch and swallowed heavily, feeling tears of embarrassment build rapidly, causing him to blush and look away. Severus was starting to grow nervous now, he needed to know what had gone on, this certainly was bizarre behaviour from the teen.

"Something I never want to have happen again." Harry stepped backwards, away from them both for some distance and went to the steps, sitting with his back to them.

Whilst Severus wanted to bundle the boy up and whisk him away from the pain, he had a job to do and with a glance to Minerva, nodded, both of them falling head first into Harry's dark memory. It seemed innocent enough, Harry appeared to be making his way through the school with purpose.

" _Hey, here's Potter! Oi, Potter!" Finnegan yelled down the corridor._

" _I heard you're an Animagi." Finnegan shouted again and Severus could see that Harry was trying to ignore them, gripping his bag tighter around his shoulders._

" _Oh, that's right, Seamus I heard that too. I guess this school really has gone to the dogs." Cormac was laughing and Minerva bristled at the comment._

" _I wonder how Snape feels about this. What do you reckon his Animagus would be… a bat perhaps?"_

 _This caught the older Wizards attention and he frowned at the mention, he wasn't entirely sure why his name was being brought up in all this, but couldn't say anything as he watched the two Gryffindor's advancing on his Slytherin._

" _Hmm, I thought that too but you know how Potter likes it up the ass…" Severus ground his teeth and felt his fists balling, "Would make sense if they were both dogs."_

 _McClaggen sounded as though he was having a great time and his expression certainly showed his delight in having a go at Harry. What struck Severus in this situation was why these boys were making homophobic comments and teasing Harry about something they knew nothing about. However, these two were not finished yet._

" _Ooh, really filthy." The Irish voice made its appearance once more, "I bet Snape is an animal in bed."_

 _Severus's blood ran cold at the rude comment and his eyes immediately went to Harry who was clearly trying to block them out, showing restraint even he wouldn't have been able to hold if he were in this situation himself. He could only imagine what the older Witch was thinking right now as she too watched this and he felt himself go pale as the cooling blood drained from his face._

" _Wouldn't you like to know!" Finally, Severus saw the first bit of retaliation from his student, finally standing up for himself, "Is there a reason you're always talking about him? I'd bet you fancy him Seamus."_

 _Harry looked livid, not that Severus could blame him but why was he now turning it around? He didn't find the Gryffindor, either of them, in the least bit pleasing to look at. Actually, what did that though even mean, he was suddenly comparing Harry's handsomeness to unimportant dunderheads. In any case, a quick glance at Minerva and she was standing there with pursed lips, unimpressed. However, to the keener eye he could see she was angry. Hopefully, that anger was not going to be directed at either male in the room when they left this memory._

" _Nice try, Potter – " Finnegan was trying to get himself out of this but Harry clearly wasn't done._

" _Or better yet, seeing as the two of you enjoy roleplaying, I'd say you're gay!"_

" _You make it sound like you are, Potter." McClaggen's voice was a deep leer but Severus felt disheartened when he saw how crushed his Slytherin appeared when it was said._

 _Never good at hiding his emotions and finally, when it counted, his blush ensured his fate was sealed and rumors would start. McClaggen was dangerously eying Harry up but then realization hit and he grew a dark smirk, one that Severus nor Minverva had ever seen before from the sandy haired Gryffindor._

" _Well, well, Potter. I guess we were spot on after all. You'd love it for Snape to fuck you, it would be the best thing that's happened to you since your parents died."_

 _If Severus wasn't in a memory he would have obliterated both teens for such vulgarity in their words and suggestions. How dare they say that about Harry. At this, he thought the memory would fade out but he was surprised to see it continue and one of the few times he'd actually seen his Slytherin devastatingly angry._

" _Is this how you'd want it, Potter?"_

 _Oh Severus was going to kill Finnegan and found himself seeing red as Harry was pulled around and pulled against the groin of the Gryffindor. The lewd and distasteful display that happened after this left Severus's mouth dry and his stomach in retching form. No wonder Harry had flinched away from him if this is what had just happened._

" _Oh, Potter, yes take it – take it all!" Finnegan had, what appeared to be, an iron grip on Harry's hips as he motioned crudely the act of penetrative intercourse._

 _Finding it getting incredibly hard to watch, Severus put his hand up to his mouth and swallowed thickly, knowing he could do nothing about the situation now that it was done but wishing he had of been there to stop it._

" _Get off me." Harry was struggling to get out of the hold and Severus had to stop himself from trying to save the memory Slytherin._

" _Ooh, resistance, I bet Snape likes them to kick and scream." McClaggen was standing back and watching with a disturbed pleasure but that's when things turned and both boys saw the fury locked within burning emerald eyes._

" _I – said – let – GO!"_

 _At this the two Gryffindors were blasted back, Harry using his magic to force the Irishman off his person and the teen hit the wall. A wolf then appeared and lunged at the same Gryffindor using its claws to dig at the face several times before going to bite at the neck. In the background, McClaggen was yelling, mostly out of shock but seeing his friend getting ravaged by a predator had him squealing._

 _Wolf Harry turned to the other Gryffindor and growled, ear flat against his head and all teeth exposed. Lunging at McClaggen, the teen jumped out of the way before any damage could be done but backed up against a wall, almost hyperventilating. A scream could be heard from the distance and both older Witch and Wizard turned their attention to a Hufflepuff who started backing away._

The memory faded out just as the wolf was hightailing it down the corridor and Severus's eyes immediately found Minerva's. There were only a handful of times where he'd seen her truly angry, much like Harry, they were able to hold back when it mattered most and the gaze he was receiving meant she full well knew what was going to happen to the two responsible for this. They were watching each other with understanding and Severus took a deep breath to center himself before approaching his Slytherin. The fact he wasn't the one to deal with the two Gryffindor's was probably best, he was livid, which was an understatement to how he truly felt.

Giving Harry a sideways glance, he could see that he was trying not to look in their direction. It was clearly understood why he hadn't wanted to speak about the situation, and providing memories was possibly the best thing he could have done. The next step was to ensure the situation was dealt with but he knew this was where he stepped aside and let Minerva deal as she saw fit. He was expecting there to be serious consequences because this was a significant situation. It made Severus's blood boil, how could students show so much disrespect to their ex-housemate? Worse, this student went through hell and back to help bring peace and this was how they repaid him. Severus couldn't speak for himself, though he had been told countless times by several people his roles had been integral, but Harry was just a child when it all started, and him, well he admitted he was old enough to know better with the choices he made.

"Severus, perhaps you'd like to escort Potter back to the common room. I will gather the other Heads tomorrow morning so they are all aware."

"Very well," Severus nodded and went to Harry who was shaking on the steps, "Harry, did you hear that?"

A distant nod was all he received.

"Come on." Standing at the base of the steps in front of his student, he resisted in holding out a hand but was glad to see him standing to follow him out.

"Harry?" They both stopped and turned back to the Headmistress, "I will get this sorted, however you should take a moment to think about your actions also. Attacking Finnegan to that degree, whilst might have felt necessary, was very forceful."

When the door shut behind them, Harry paused to lean against the wall causing Severus to peer over his shoulder. He could only hazard to guess what was circulating through the frazzled mind of his student, so he didn't push and instead stayed where he was on the stairs. The younger Wizard took a deep breath, several actually, before stepping forward.

"I am going to escort you to the common room, Harry. On the way we will find Draco." Stepping out into the corridor, he spun around and faced his Slytherin.

Harry didn't answer, instead he looked around the school as if it were the first time he'd stepped into it, following diligently as they descended staircase after staircase. By this point, dinner was approaching and students were starting to leave their study areas. Spying a mop of blonde hair, Severus barked at his student who took one look at the both of them and quickly came over. Hermione was hot on his heel and was about to shoot past to hug Harry when she was stopped rather abruptly by a solid wall of black.

"Please do not force yourself on, Potter." He said, sneering down at the Ravenclaw, who slunk backward with widened eyes, "Draco, I am taking Harry to the common room, if you could keep an eye on him…"

Harry wasn't paying attention to what was being said, he simply looked at concerned brown eyes on the other side of his protector, feeling strange that he was being separated from his friend. Hermione wouldn't hurt him, she was one of the few that wouldn't physically harm him. She was safe, light, happy. Everything he wasn't right now, but surely he could allow himself the comfort of his best friend.

Severus stopped mid sentence when he felt movement from behind and watched his scared Slytherin walking forward to the Witch. He would allow this, he couldn't control Harry to such a strong degree, he was only concerned that something might hurt him further and that wasn't an option he could fathom doing at the current time. There was relief from the Ravenclaw as they gently hugged, he only felt mildly irritated that it wasn't coming from himself.

"He is not obligated to stay there, however if he leaves I want you to be there." He could already see the stares the four of them were getting and wanted nothing more than to get them away from the middle of a student hive.

"I understand."

"If he gets unsettled for any reason, send communication or bring him straight to me."

"Of course. Sir, what happened?"

"The matter is with the Headmistress – "

"But you know, right?"

"Malfoy, details of this situation are delicate and still ongoing. It would be immoral of me to speak in such an open location." The gentle blush on the blondes face after that told him the boy understood.

" _Harry, you're not alone, okay? Whatever happened, I'm here for you."_ Hermione whispered, feeling the briefest of nods against her shoulder.

With Harry having seen his friends and the student body becoming aware of what had happened earlier in the afternoon, Severus decided it was high time they got out of there and somewhere more quiet. The perfect refuge, aside from his own rooms, was the Slytherin common room where a handful of students sat doing their own thing. He couldn't help but notice the expressions from some, but it was certainly a better place for Harry to be than wandering around the castle. This was the only other safe place he felt comfortable leaving his emotionally abused student. One, he was quickly realising, who had wormed right under his skin.

 **. . .**


	45. Chapter 45

**.**

 **Serious writers block in this chapter! Things have been crazy and work but I've been writing when I can. And I uh, I think you're going to like the next chapter...**

 **. . .**

Skipping dinner, Harry went straight to bed once his Professor had left him in the common room. Feeling torn between wanting to stay with the man and just crawling into a pile of blankets, he'd thought space would be good so he could think about everything that had happened. Unfortunately, his mind was too active and he found himself tossing and turning until he couldn't take it anymore and just sat up. With the sheets falling away from his chest, he stared across the room at where his housemate would be but with it being dark he could only see the faint outline of a bed.

He was tired, but probably over tired by this point… He remembered the last time this happened, it seemed like ages ago, but in reality was merely a month, when he'd passed out. _In Professor Snape's arms no less_ , he groaned. Interesting that he'd thought of that night in particular when everything else around him was falling apart. He'd attacked another student, hurt said student, snapped his wand and was quite possibly going to face expulsion. But where did he want to be most of all? That's right, in Professor Snape's rooms. Managing to wrangle what the time was, he felt confident in assuming his teacher would be well and truly asleep at this hour.

"Harry?"

Blinking in the dark, eyes not quite able to adjust for the ability to see that far in front of him, Draco's voice sounded from the other side of the room. He hoped there hadn't been anything spoken or if he'd done anything to wake his friend, the blonde certainly was a light sleeper if that were the case.

"Yeah."

"You okay?" It was a sleepy voice that Harry heard and immediately felt bad and sighed.

"I just can't sleep. Sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't… I couldn't sleep either."

Nodding to himself in the dark, Harry swung his legs off the bed and made to stand. If he was going to be a nuisance by being awake, he thought it best to go into the common room, so he could be by himself. However, when he wandered the hall up to the large common space, he found that he had company and Draco, looking rather tired and disheveled, was following him in. He supposed that was okay, least he wake Blaise up also if they were going to talk. They both went to the couch and sat down at opposite ends, looking at each other.

"What's going on, Harry? Everyone was looking to the Slytherin table with some weird scared expression. McClaggen certainly took a shine to glaring at me in particular."

"He's probably warning you or something, I would be careful."

"Why do I need to be careful?"

Harry looked down into his lap and took a deep breath, he supposed he should tell Draco what was going on so that he knew what side of the fence the blonde sat on. Least he not say a thing and then when he found out, they were enemies again.

"Because I nearly killed Seamus and was about to do the same to Cormac when people started to see what was going on."

"Oh."

"You've seen it yourself, those two have been giving me a bit of grief the past few weeks. They… They just went too far this time and I snapped. I don't want to say any more than that, they pushed me, and I retaliated by trying to rip their heads of in my wolf form. That's what everyone keeps saying, anyway."

"Oh…" Draco echoed again, nodding in understanding, "But why are they teasing you about Professor Snape? That makes no sense."

Harry looked away, feeling slightly ashamed of his prior thoughts on Professor Snape, "You're going to hate me, but let me tell you the whole story first. Gryffindor have never really had the best relationship with Professor Snape, admit it, he totally favoured the Slytherin's through our schooling."

Draco snorted with an amused smile.

"So, naturally, being stubborn pig-headed boys, we took to mocking him behind the safety of our common room portrait. We never said anything nice about him, especially when it came to more… intimate details of his life, and in class he seemed to pick on me most out of everyone. It was clear to some why he did it, I was the _Chosen One_ ," Shuddering Harry pulled a face, "The hatred we had for each other was pure, as was with you, and it was just something we played on as Gryffindors. At the time I could handle it because there wasn't really anything malicious towards me with their jokes."

"Okay, so why the sudden change? You almost appeared as if you _wanted_ to be placed in Slytherin this year." Draco frowned, as if not understanding.

"Well, it wasn't so much as _wanted to_ , I suppose it was more to do with curiosity. When we were sorted in our first year, the only perspective I had of the house was what Ron told me, and then after that run in with you in Diagon Alley I believed it wasn't a nice house. The hat was so sure he was going to place me there, but Ron was already in Gryffindor and they all seemed so happy. I think I made the right decision in the end, how awkward would that have been for Voldemort? It might have even changed the course of the war." Harry then went to hug his knees, looking through his bangs at the blonde.

"The hat let you choose?"

"More shocking things have happened."

"Wow, you could have been a Slytherin years ago." Draco was almost in awe.

"We still wouldn't have been friends. You reminded me of my cousin who continually bullied me since the day I arrived at my Aunt and Uncles house." Harry half laughed but went serious again.

"All right, so you hated Professor Snape all these years but now the two of you are almost inseparable. What changed?"

At the question, Harry's entire aura shifted to which the other Slytherin noted immediately.

"The war happened. I mean, Professor Snape had been consistently saving my life since the moment I arrived at Hogwarts, not that a lot of people know that… Do… Do you remember the vial of memories I carried around with me at the beginning of the year?"

Draco nodded.

"They were his, he gave them to me right before he _supposedly_ died."

Floored, the blondes mouth hung open, a million possibilities as to why Harry had memories from his Godfather but none that remotely made sense. Why had that happened? He just said that they'd hated each other and now he was giving the brunette something personal like memories? But Harry wasn't going to be fooled by the dramatics, they still weren't something he was going open up about and admit what he'd seen. That was only ever meant for his eyes and no one could force him to divulge such information.

"Don't ask me to tell you what they were because I'll never say. I never even told Ron or Hermione about it, although they were there when he gave them to me. Probably the only reason why I went to my own death was because of his sacrifice. So, _that's_ when things changed, not that it seemed like it right away when he came back this year but it was nice to feel less agitated around him."

Draco remained quiet, still trying to wrap his head around the relationship that had formed between his Godfather and his new friend. Simply giving memories couldn't have been enough for them to form such a tight bond after the war, something else had to have happened, past or relatively present.

"I know what you're trying to work out." Harry mused, having unmoved from his huddled position.

"Some of it makes sense, but a lot of it doesn't. How can two people go from hating each other so much to being the best of friends?"

"Are you talking about Professor Snape or us?" Harry smirked, though his eyes betrayed his tiredness.

Draco opened his mouth to speak but then snapped it shut, thinking for a moment, "True."

"I don't know what his personal and private life is really like but… I'd wager he doesn't have many friends."

"He doesn't." Draco confirmed.

"But the ones he _does_ have, mean a lot to him. We sort of formed this weird, understanding friendship thing that night you were with Victoria's family and we went out for dinner. I suppose if you're wanting to be politically correct with facts, that was the night things really became less about student and teacher, and more about people and life."

"For two Wizards that were so pure in their hatred in the beginning, it's quite cool to see."

"And also why Seamus and Cormac decided that Professor Snape and I were such easy targets for their verbal attacks. From their perspective, they can't understand why I'm in Slytherin or why I've made the decisions I have. It's more than just being assholes, they genuinely can't comprehend a lot of things."

"Well, that's an understatement."

"I can't help but wonder if it would be as bad though if I'd just gone back into Gryffindor this year."

"No, you made the right decision and anyone who tells you otherwise is an uneducated twat." Draco sat up and narrowed his eyes at Harry to show he was serious.

Tired but feeling like a load had been taken off his shoulders, Harry tried to smile but yawned instead. Resting his head against the back of the couch, he nodded slowly and closed his eyes.

"Thanks, Draco."

The blonde nodded, feeling satisfied that he knew roughly what was going on with his friend he could formulate retaliation where necessary without floundering. Harry was falling asleep now, if he wasn't already, and decided to leave him there. It was going to be an interesting day when everyone woke up, the brunette was probably going to find out his fate and the entire school would have been aware of what happened.

 **. . .**

Waking up groggily, Harry blearily looked around his settings and realized he wasn't in his bed. The position he'd managed to get himself into hadn't been kind on his spine and when he moved, all of his muscles protested angrily. There was a chill in the room and with no blanket, this did not help his mobility. Students were starting to move about this morning, some paying him attention, others ignoring he was even there. He supposed this was the best situation for him to be in, he didn't want to be center stage for all to gawk at, he just wanted to skate by and be around people who cared about him.

Wandering into the dormitory, the other two were getting themselves ready, so he decided on a shower to get himself prepared for the day. By now, all of Hogwarts would have known what transpired and whilst he was nervous about entering the general population of the Great Hall, he tried to remain calm and think positive. In the hall, there wasn't much anyone could do with the teachers all sitting at the head table. He tried not to think about the unfortunate situations where no one had taken that into consideration and attacked.

Draco accompanied him to breakfast, he wasn't entirely happy about the situation but he'd been told that an appearance would be beneficial. As the blonde had put it, _show people you aren't afraid_ , but that was easier said than done. He could just imagine what the hall would turn into when they saw him but he couldn't decide which option he would have preferred. All of course was answered the moment he stepped foot in the hall and paused when a few people turned their heads. Swallowing nervously, he held his breath, waiting for the first heckler to make themselves known.

The only response he had was silence, some of the closer students were watching him with weary eyes. He supposed this was better than he'd anticipated and started to continue following Draco down the table only to find students flinching and edging away from him as he did so. _Wonderful, everyone is scared of me, like I'd turn around and bite them… I suppose they all know that I'm an Animagi now_. The thoughts were just the icing on his cake and slumping down onto the bench, he stared down at the empty plate. What he wouldn't give to be down in the Dungeons, away from everyone and just escaping his reality for a few hours.

Severus watched silently, sipping on his much needed caffine fix for the morning. Harry looked ragged, as if he hadn't slept, but that was to be expected. His own night hadn't gone particularly as planned and he woke on the couch with stiff muscles and strained back. The intention had been to stay awake for his Slytherin to come and see him but that had never eventuated and he'd succumbed to slumber, possibly the helping of Whiskey hadn't been such a wise idea when trying to relax himself for the evening. Now, he needed all the strength and energy he could get his hands on as his meeting with the Headmistress approached.

Was he nervous about what was going to transpire? Absolutely. He didn't believe that Harry had maliciously attacked the Gryffindor's, it was completely understandable. The only question was whether other staff took the situation into consideration when they had their say. Having the pleasure of getting to know his Slytherin better this year, he was going to be upset if things didn't go as he'd thought. No, that wasn't right, and he frowned at his thoughts, staring down the depth of his mug. If Harry was expelled for excessive use in defending himself, then Hogwarts would not be the same; he had grown used to seeing the unruly mop of dark, almost black, brunette locks in his class. It would become boring, he wouldn't get a visitor, and his Animagi abilities would have been for naught.

 _Dear Merlin,_ Severus thought tragically, realizing half of his life was now a lie. It caused him to sit a little straighter in his seat and set his eyes on the green eyed monster that was hopelessly staring into his own bowl. Draco seemed to be coaxing him, possibly to eat, but for once Severus wasn't completely concerned about the idea of his student not getting enough nutrition, he was thinking more about the future. More precisely, what school would look like without Harry Potter.

"… have some breakfast and get this meeting underway."

Startling at the sound of Minerva's voice finally filtering into his recognition, Severus looked at her quickly, noticing how she stopped and looked at him expectantly. Not having a clue whether she'd spoken to him previously, he simply blinked at her.

"You mustn't have slept either, I suppose." She lamented, pushing the pot of coffee towards him.

Gingerly, he reached out for it and refilled his mug and nodded before looking back out across the hall. With eyes resting on Harry, he found himself pleased that he was finally eating something but it seemed the gaze was felt and he was soon looking into green pools of worry. He remained impassive for now, the teen didn't need to know that he too was worried about the outcome, especially not when he realized where this worry was beginning to stem from.

When it was time, Severus soon found himself in the Headmistress's office among the other Heads of House, sitting in a small half circle around the large ornate desk. Minerva was quick to rally their attention and soon began with apologies for taking time out of everyone's weekend to deal with the issue. As he observed her demeanor, she appeared nervous, strong as always, but still a thread of apprehension. He certainly understood that feeling, it was knotting up around his stomach and he felt the weight of his coffee starting to churn around in the stomach acids.

"The common room has been awash with rumors on what happened, Minerva." Filius commented as he hoisted himself up onto his propped up chair.

"Yes, and I imagine there has been a lot of talk in Gryffindor tower overnight." Minerva looked to the Gryffindor head who nodded glumly.

"And what of Potter?" Poloma asked abruptly, all heads turning to Severus.

"He is coping, my students had rallied around him to ensure his safety in the halls of Hogwarts." He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice but knew he had failed on some level when Minerva gave him the side eye.

"Interesting you say that, Severus. He is, after all, the reason why one of my Gryffindor's are in the hospital wing and the other traumatized."

The Slytherin Head of House would have gaped in shock at the woman if he had not have been simultaneously angered by the accusation. The Gryffindor head had a soft spoken voice, she was new to Hogwarts at the start of the school year and generally didn't verbally involve herself with political matters that came with being a house head. This was why he was surprised, the second element was how her tone implied that both of her lions were innocent in the whole situation. Oh, how he was going to enjoy taking her down a peg or two.

"And a Slytherin does not simply act for no reason."

"Well in this – "

"No, that's enough." Minerva stepped in and broke up the impending argument, "We are not here to blame each other for our students actions. The reason for this meeting is to provide information pertaining to the incident, that, yes, as you mentioned has left a student in the Infirmary but equally two other students who are also feeling the weight of their decisions."

"What information can you provide us, Minerva?" The shortest member squeaked, and the Headmistress settled into her seat.

"Right, I have spoken to all three students. Two Gryffindors who have denied provoking Potter, but evidence proving the opposite."

"You say proof, what is this exactly?" Poloma queried.

"It is a delicate matter, one that involves homophobic and rather graphic sexual harassment." Minerva explained and Severus shot a hard look at the Gryffindor head, only to see her pale, "Potter has come forward and expressed that he has dealt with less confronting harassment from Finnegan and McClaggen for a while now, however yesterday it seemed they went too far. The… visual evidence given by Potter was… rather difficult to watch."

The Headmistress couldn't hold back her emotion as she recited what occurred and Severus did all he could to sit there silently, holding back his own. Instead of reacting, he took his time to subtly gauge the reactions from around the room and found they all mirrored each other in their expressions. Filius looked as though he might fall off his stacked chair; Poloma, who was used to dealing with all sorts of unsavoury plants and fertilizers, appeared as shaken as _he_ had whilst watching the memories; and the Gryffindor head looked guilty. _Too right she should_ , he reasoned before turning his attention back to Minerva who was nearly at the end of her retelling. One thing that stood out for him was when she mentioned Harry getting grabbed roughly from behind and remembered seeing the tight grip the Irishman had on his Slytherin. The thought was idle but he wondered if there was bruising this morning; it was something he wanted to check, to at least ask about, but it would have to wait.

"How awful." The Herbology Professor commented.

"A disgraceful practice from graduating Wizards, utterly deplorable." Filius puffed himself up as he said it, agreeing with the Hufflepuff head.

Severus and the Gryffindor head remained silent.

"I have checked on Mr. Finnegan this morning, he is in relatively good spirits and is healing nicely. I have not seen McClaggen, nor Potter."

"… I have not been to see either Gryffindor's." The Witch said.

"As I mentioned earlier, Potter is in good hands with Mr. Malfoy. No doubt, your Miss. Granger is also comforting him at this time." Severus turned pointedly towards the Charms Professor, "I have not spoken to him, however it appears he has not slept and will continue to remain this way for a number of days this week."

"So, I have come to a decision based on what was heard and seen yesterday in regards to the attack on these three students. However, before I voice my decision I would like to know what the four of you believe should happen." Minerva had a piece of parchment in front of her and quill at the ready, believing that she would have some resistance upon anything more than suspension and expulsion.

"Minerva, you are aware on my thoughts of what should happen. These will not change." Severus glared across the space at Gryffindor's head, who was trying desperately to look anywhere but him.

"I am, Severus." Minerva replied, nodding and turning to Poloma who appeared ready to speak.

"As Filius said, these actions are deplorable, bullying in an extreme form. Towards any student, regardless of their preferences or interests, to have such disgusting language and behaviours occurring within these safe walls… Words cannot describe how disappointing this is. These students were all part of the war and should be working together, bringing happiness and hope to younger students who were unable to defend themselves but all they are seeing is the older students fighting amongst themselves. They need to be made an example of, remind them that whilst the war was won and they were a part of it, this is still school and should respect each other as such."

Severus was impressed the round woman was able to string together a solid argument and nodded to show his approval.

"We shouldn't forget that Potter reacted violently to their advances, but I agree that the Gryffindor behaviour was dishonorable and students should be reminded that it is unacceptable. I can't help but wonder how differently this would have been approached if this was a female student. Certainly, we would all agree that Finnegan and McClaggen, whether intentionally or not, acted with intent for rape." At this Filius shuddered at his own words but he wasn't finished, "Potter is a strong Wizard, not physically, but his magical core far supersedes others his age. Would I be wrong to suggest that he might have used his Animagus form to assert more physical power to ward his attackers?"

Minerva would admit she hadn't thought about it like this at all, not the rape, but the Animagus. She noted down on her parchment those added points and then moved her attention to the last individual in the room who hadn't spoken much and was looking like a lion licking her wounds.

"Given the perspectives of others, I have to agree that there needs to be a serious punishment in the Gryffindor camp. I had not been made aware before now about the nature of such an incident and feel rather embarrassed that these actions have come from this noble house."

Minerva agreed, as did Severus but after this the room went silent. Everyone was watching the Headmistress with anticipation to hear what each students fate would be. She cleared her throat in preparation for informing her staff of what decision she had made, the expression she wore gave nothing away and even though Severus was sure Harry would get more than a light tap on the wrist, he'd been surprised in the past.

 **. . .**

Harry paced the length of his bed, he couldn't take the not knowing of what would happen. The Headmistress said to think about his actions, that they had been excessive and possibly unnecessary. _How else was I supposed to get him off me?_ Harry screamed inside his head before cradling it, shrinking to the floor and leaning against the frame of his bed. Seamus had him pinned against his front as if he were some disgusting animal trying to mate, there was no way he would have been able to flick him off any other way than how he'd done so. For the love of Merlin, he had bruises on his hips from the fingers that dug painfully into his skin. At the time he hadn't registered how tight he'd been pulled but whenever his jeans rubbed over those spots he could certainly feel the tenderness associated with the purple marks. They made him feel dirty, having another's hands on him like that, and in such a regard. Whilst Voldemort had strung him up high for his own personal pleasure, it was never of a sexual nature and right now, he almost preferred it to what he had dealt with.

Perhaps he should have told the Headmistress how scared he felt, how he was scared to walk the halls of Hogwarts because he wasn't able to defend himself appropriately without being punished. How absurd of a way to get expelled from Hogwarts. _Hello Harry Potter, oh I see you were kicked out of school for being forced upon_. It even sounded ridiculous in his head and instead of wallowing in his self-pitying state like he had that night, it was turning into anger very quickly.

Draco had been sitting with him for a while but he'd snapped at the blonde when he'd tried to initiate conversation. He shouldn't have done it, but the blonde left without another word, muttering about leaving him to his thoughts. Wanting to be alone had been his aim but now that he was, the pin drop silence was almost deafening and caused his mind to act into overdrive. He wondered if going for a fly on his broom would settle his mind, get the wind through his hair and let some of the stress go. Actually, the three of them could go, Hermione was able to fly now and better yet she couldn't speak to him whilst in that form. This meant no badgering and he could be in silence but with company, there were a lot of positives to that idea and with haste he jumped up to find Draco.

The air whipped through Harry's hair as he and Draco sped around the castle at lightning speed. They'd planned out a path, a track that had them speeding and barreling all over the place but in the moment, Harry believed this is what he needed to keep his mind clear. As a reminder to the previous days events, each turn caused his clothing to rub against the sore spots on his hips but he tried to push that aside for now and concentrate on not flying straight into one of the towers. He decided that he was going to savour this memory, taking in all there was to look at from the place he used to call home.

He'd thought about what it would mean for him to be expelled and realized he actually had a reason to stay. If this had of happened prior to Christmas then it would have been a different story but it seemed different now that he had Professor on his side. He hadn't really spoken to the man properly though and it had him wondering if that calm demeanor would have dissipated and he'd be facing an angry Head of House.

Coming to a stop over Ravenclaw tower, Harry took in a deep breath, just enjoying the freedom of being up so high. Draco soon stopped beside him and they took a moment together, evidently both reflecting on various things in their life. That was, until the blonde plucked up the courage to finally tell his friend something that had been brewing for a few months but had been too afraid to speak.

"I like Hermione." He blurted out rather abruptly and Harry nearly fell of his broom.

"W-What?"

"She's beautiful, smart and strong willed. Harry, I really like her."

Blinking in silence, Harry thought it over in his mind and felt the cogs starting to overheat, steam and jam up. Essentially, his mind stopped working and he stared ahead at the tips of the Forbidden Forests trees. He didn't want to think about things anymore, he was done trying to make sense of life, it was all just piling on top of each other and burying him alive. He took a glance down at the ground below them and wondered if piercing his body on one of the spikes that stopped owls from landing on the tops of buildings would ease his suffering in this life. Of course, it was a fleeting thought and not one he was actually seriously considering but given his position it would have been easy enough to achieve.

"Please say something." Draco thought he'd overstepped the line with his confession and not having a response made him think he'd lost his friend.

"At least I know you'll treat her right." Harry finally commented and the other Slytherin let out a breath.

"You aren't upset about it?"

"Something I've come to realize lately is that you can't help who you're attracted to. When you really care deeply about them, get to know them a bit more than you did before, things happen inside that can't be controlled." Harry's voice was forlorn.

"Sounds like you know a lot about that." Draco replied, looking warily at his friend who was still staring out at the forest.

Yes, Harry did know what he was talking about but in his case there was nothing he could do about it. He certainly didn't want to push anything right now, still feeling dirty and used after his encounter the day prior. So, Draco liked Hermione, worse things had happened in his life so didn't particularly find the news about his friend too troubling. Actually, he didn't know how Hermione felt about Draco… _Merlin save me if I become the middle man_ , he thought suddenly and turned his broom to head back inside.

 **. . .**

Harry hadn't gotten very far when he touched down in the courtyard, Professor Sprout had been making her way back out to the green houses when he said the Headmistress was looking for him. He didn't get the most reassuring vibe from the busty woman and a sick feeling developed in his stomach realizing this could be the final word he had been waiting for to determine his future.

With broomstick still in hand, he ascended the stairs and stood facing the gargoyle protecting the Witches office. This was how said Witch had found him, staring helpless at the large stone and watched silently until he recgonised he was not alone. She ushered him up and he leaned his Firebolt against a cabinet at the door before walking further into the room. Professor Dumbledore was up in his frame looking perky but it didn't reflect at all what Harry was feeling inside.

"How are you holding up, Potter?" Minerva asked, pointing to the seat in front of her desk as she took the other one so it was less formal.

"Guess I'll feel better when I find out if you're going to chuck me out." He responded bitterly.

"Well, what do you think should happen?"

Harry shot her an incredulous expression, "I know reacting the way I did has raised a lot of eyebrows, but look at me. I'm a twig and the only way I was going to get Seamus off me was to do what I did. Just whatever, if you're going to expel me, just do so and I'll pack my shit."

"Potter, I would appreciate the lowering of your tone."

"Sorry." He muttered, looking into his lap and playing with the hem of his hoodie.

"As it happens, I have decided that your actions were justified and support will be given to you at this time. It was never a case of not believing you, Potter. I hope you understand this."

Harry nodded, "What's going to happen now?"

"The other two will be dealt with accordingly, but you can rest assured punishment will be given for their abhorrent behavior towards you. Your wand, on the other hand, this will need replacing immediately. You do not have a hope of graduating this year without being tested on vital skills. Therefore, I am organizing for you to be accompanied to France, where I believe Mr. Ollivander is currently training up an Apprentice to take over his craft and has set up a new wand shop."

"France?"

"Yes, Potter. Where do you think the first years had to travel this year to get their supplies?" Minerva was surprised her student didn't know this.

"Oh, okay." He nodded, suddenly feeling better than he had moments before with the prospect of leaving Hogwarts for a day.

"I will let you know plans closer to the time, for now, I suggest you crack on with your studies as best you can without your wand. Your Professor's have all been made aware that participation will be limited during the week."

"Thank you, Professor." Harry tried to be happy about all of it but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to be.

"First, I suggest you report to Professor Snape once you are done here, he informed me that he required your presence once we were done."

Professor Snape wanted to see him? Why would that be such a surprise? _I really need a break or something_ , he thought, rubbing his eyes tiredly and nodding once she had finished speaking to him. From there he picked himself up and went to leave but paused when he grabbed his broomstick.

"Professor, is Seamus going to be okay?" He didn't particularly care if he'd been hurt because it had been established his actions were self-defense but wanted to know if he'd have to look at a scratched face as a reminder for the rest of the year.

"He will be fine, Potter."

Well, it wasn't much of an answer but he supposed the proof would be when he next saw the Irishmen. Getting himself as far away from the tower as possible, he ditched his broom in the dormitory and cleaned himself up before daring to go and visit his Professor. Assuming they were still on good terms, he tried the man's private rooms first, he was down there anyway, so he'd try that first.

Knocking on the door, it swung open, much to his relief and carefully peered inside. His Professor was sitting at his desk with another large round of marking and glanced up in the doors direction when he heard it. The spark of relieved recognition surprised the younger Wizard who didn't move from where he was in case he needed a quick getaway.

"Are you intending on standing there all afternoon? You're letting the heat out." Severus commented with an odd tone that mirrored his relieved demeanor.

"Wasn't sure if you'd be mad at me." Harry admitted, finally stepping into the room and letting the door swing closed.

"And what would make you think that?" Severus stood.

"Because you're always mad when I do stuff." Harry walked closer.

"That's often a result of you doing something idiotic and reckless." Severus walked around his desk.

"Like this is any different?" The younger Slytherin continued walking.

"Absolutely." The Slytherin Head of House finally closed the distance, meeting Harry halfway into the room, letting his student step right into his arms.

Harry took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he let the comfort sink in and felt his shoulders relax. He was already exhausted but finally letting himself sag against the solid chest, arms tightened around him to stop his legs giving out from beneath him. It was bizarre how he could be emotionally and physically drained after one incident and one lengthy day of stress and insecurity.

"Perhaps we should sit you down." Severus commented, noting how his Slytherin had started sliding towards the floor and tightened his hold.

He didn't particularly get a response however, simply a hum, so decided to direct the tired teenager over to the couch. Narrowly missing his head on the arm of his couch, Severus winced in preparation but was pleased when an elbow propped up the mop of hair and dazed green eyes peered up at him. It had certainly been a rough twenty four hours, he could understand why his student was lacking energy.

"The intention had been for you and I to talk once you came down here."

"Sir, with all due respect, talking is the _last_ thing I want to do right now. I don't mean that in a bad way, I just – "

"No need to worry, Harry. It is clearly scribed in your face." At this Severus ran a hand through the youths hair, "Rest."

"And that's it?" Harry wondered aloud.

"What more were you expecting?" Severus was about to get the blanket his student always used when he was down there but stopped at the confused tone.

"I guess… I don't know."

The younger Slytherin looked away, his mind getting in a muddle. Severus could see this and in the silence, looked around the room for inspiration on how best to proceed. His student was tired, hadn't slept, was stressed out and not thinking clearly what so ever and whilst he'd said he didn't want to talk, perhaps some things needed to be cleared up first. With this in mind, he back tracked and delicately perched on the edge of his couch, his Slytherin shifting so he was pressed further against the back of the cushions to accommodate him as he lay. Severus hadn't thought that it would be an issue for him to sit there and it wasn't, but it wasn't like him to be so informal.

"I am going to summarize what has happened in the last day, but this is by no means down playing your trauma and rights. You were attacked, provoked by a couple of bullies, and in turn protected yourself in the only way possible at that time. Do I have any grounds for being disappointed in your actions? No. In fact, would you like to know a secret?" Narrowing his eyes conspiringly, he was happy to see Harry's face lighten as he nodded, "I would have done the _exact_ same thing."

Recognition dawned on the younger Wizards face and, was that relief he saw in green eyes? Yes, Severus decided it was. Did part of this stress, trying to age Harry, partly have to do with him also? His Slytherin was afraid of how _he_ would react, but to what degree? He'd seen the way students had acted that morning at breakfast, unsure of what precisely had happened and worried he might attack them too. Harry wasn't a monster, he was far from it and he would be hell bent on proving this to his student by any means necessary.

"You are not a bad person, Harry."

"All I wanted to do was prove that I'm not weak."

This was not a new fact but now Severus was going to have to convince Harry that he didn't need to worry about what others thought about him. He had learnt long ago to ignore the whispers and negative things that would be said whether he was in earshot or not. And how did he get past all that? Simply put, he didn't give a damn, he focused on himself and the position he was in; gave himself structure and allowed his passions to take over.

"Your Animagus is a wolf, I'm sure you can appreciate the symmetry in what I say next. Are you ready to hear it?" Harry nodded and sat up a little straighter, the side of his thigh pressing against his Professor's but it wasn't making either of them uncomfortable.

"You spend too much time worrying about what people think… A wolf does not concern himself with the opinions of sheep. You know, deep down that your power is immense. No one in your year comes _close_ to rivaling that power."

"And that's what scares me. I just… I feel like I have too _much_ power and it's just sitting there idly. It's waiting for something to happen just so it can prove itself. That's why I snapped my wand, it wasn't because I was out of my mind," Harry was looking helplessly into Severus's eyes, "I knew exactly what I was doing."

This threw Severus, but oddly enough he could understand the reasoning behind it. This broken teen had been brought up solely to fight in a war, had been trained under the toughest of conditions and now was left a hollow shell with no purpose. Why hadn't he seen it to this degree before now? He _should_ have realized it sooner and something could have been put in place to ensure the events that had transpired this year were avoided. He didn't think this often, but he internal chastised himself for overlooking an issue so obvious, it was almost painful. He needed a strong drink.

Having been half turned towards Harry, he swiveled the opposite way so he was sitting facing forward but still on the edge of the couch. Resting both arms along his thighs, he let the feeling of disappointment seep into his body at the prospect of having let his Slytherin down. He was now another person to add into that pile and whilst he'd _just_ told Harry that he shouldn't be concerning himself with what others thought, his dominant belief was how the younger Wizard would see him after admitting the flaw.

"Sir?"

"I've failed you. This should never have happened."

"What are you talking about?" Harry sat up straighter, his earlier exhaustion gone and heart beating faster.

Severus's head whipped round, "You've put your trust in me to help you and all I have done is made things worse."

"That's not true."

"Yes, Potter. Yes, it is. Persistence has helped you in some areas, but the real issue is still far from being touched. I should have seen it earlier."

"I think you're underestimating you abilities, sir." Confused as to why the conversation was taking this turn, Harry leaned forward and wrapped a hand around the man's tricep.

Wary, Severus looked down at the fingers curling around his bicep, feeling them press lightly into the muscle in an attempt to get him to turn back. Letting his eyes follow the arm back to where it connected with the rest of Harry's body, he locked onto mesmerizing green orbs as they gazed back at him with passion though he could still see they were tired.

"If you hadn't done all you have, then you wouldn't have found me here yesterday. If I hadn't changed my ways from before Christmas, I would probably laying in a pool of my own blood or have jumped off the Astronomy Tower." At this tears started to well in his eyes, "If you hadn't of taken the time to build the relationship we have now, then to find out that Draco is into Hermione would have sent me over the edge too. If _you_ hadn't have been here for me when everyone else was ready to give up, then I'd have _nothing_ to live for. _You_ have given me purpose, _you_ have given me passion, _you_ have believed in me when no one else did."

Listening to the rant, or vent, whichever way he could look at it, he started to see some of the things Harry was mentioning but overall, there was a lot of work still to be done. Perhaps he had underestimated the degree to which his Slytherin was damaged, or…

"Sure, most of my emotions and feelings are one-sided but you mean so much to me. So don't you dare say that you've failed me because at the end of the day, you've _saved_ me – So. Many. Damn. Times." A tear finally wrangled free and ran down Harry's cheek.

Severus didn't know what to say or how to respond, Harry probably hadn't realized what he'd said but certain key words had stuck out to him. Instead of embarrassing himself he decided to remain silent and let the teen say what needed to be said, perhaps it needed to come out and heard aloud for his own sake rather than Severus's. Then, when movement caught his eye, he saw Harry hastily wiping away the tears with his free arm and it spurred him to make a subtle adjustment to his own position. Taking his free hand, he slowly moved it to the arm that was being clutched and covered his students hand with his own large one. It was a terse few minutes when neither of them said a word but they both felt as though none needed to be said.

This was understanding. Tough times had passed and possibly tougher ones to follow but he wasn't going anywhere and he was going to make damn sure Harry didn't either.

 **. . .**

After Harry's emphatic declaration, they had remained in silence but comfortably so. It had appeared to tire the teen out more than before and after returning back to the couch with what he was now referring to as _Harry's blanket_ , he draped it across the sleeping student. Now he was able to focus on the rest of his marking, but caught himself glancing up every few minutes as if he were about to say something, _anything_ , in response to what had been said but stopped. This wasn't the time, the younger Wizard had been on a rollercoaster of emotions this week and he wasn't about to add to it.

However, dinnertime approached quickly enough and he forced himself to harden up to wake the teen. Looking down on him, he seemed so peaceful, but he refused to let this younger Wizard cower away from the world. Whilst he himself had been said to, _slither back into his hole_ , after a confrontation, Harry had shown him that it was possible to fight, to stand up for ones self. _Bloody Gryffindor sentimentality_ , he thought as he pulled the blanket off his student in an attempt to shock him awake. It didn't work however, and resulted in the teen's shirt lifting up and revealing his stomach.

Severus's face twitched as he looked over the revealed flesh, not that it was anything new to see because he'd had the Slytherin topless before. No, it was the darker patches around the hip bone that he was looking at in particular and wondering if the lighting was causing a shadow. Proven wrong, Harry shifted and opened his eyes blearily, rolling properly onto his back to reveal the other hip had bruising also. Controlling the anger he felt flooding his body at the sight of them, he took a deep breath and went to speak when he saw he was being watched.

Harry blushed, not understanding the heated look he was receiving and remained where he was until he met black eyes. Seeing his usually calm Professor fumbling around for words was interesting but understood why he needed to make an appearance at dinner; he just wished he'd known what happened moments before he'd woken up because he could feel a draft along his stomach. As he righted himself, he noted his trousers had slipped down and the bruising was evident; another look at his Head of House and he knew that's what had been seen, so hastily pulled his hoodie down to cover it.

"I apologise – "

"It's fine." Harry cut him off and stood, turning towards the door.

"I will speak with Minerva – "

"Leave it. What's done is done." The younger Slytherin interrupted and made for the door, putting his hand on the handle to open it but found it un-opening to his touch.

"Stop, Harry. This is serious."

"I know it is, but it's done. It happened, I was dealt with and the others will be too. I just want to get dinner over with so I don't have to look at them."

"Precisely my point of telling the Headmistress."

"Like she's going to expel them for something as stupid as this." Harry motioned down to his waist, but Severus wasn't budging.


	46. Chapter 46

_**Authors Note:**_ _ **I feel awful that it's been so long since an update. I'm travelling and whilst I have my laptop at the ready, others plots have interested me. Things should be more regular now, so apologies on the delay, I'm hoping I can get the next chapter up quickly.**_

 _ **. . .**_

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **Oh, yes. It would be very sad indeed *insert evil laugh*.**_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **Thank you so much. Like I said, I've been sidetracked by some new plots but these are for one shots. I might up load these soon if you're interested in how my twisted mind operates.**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **You'd expect Severus to escort Harry to France, wouldn't you? I mean, it's completely logical. *smiles knowingly***_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Agreed, but together they are very powerful.**_

 **#kissinxirony:**

 _ **Sorry, sorry, sorry! I'm doing exactly what I hate, letting you all into the web of my plot and then stopping for a while. I hope you enjoy this chapter as you have the rest of the story.**_

 **. . .**

Noting the missing attendance of two Gryffindor's in his morning classes, Harry frowned over at their empty seats in thought. Professor Snape had been so sure that something serious was going to happen but until he saw it for his own eyes, the teen wasn't convinced. This, however, certainly had him thinking about what could have happened to Seamus and Cormac, he wasn't immune to hearing the rumors either and for some reason this had his anxiety kicking in once more. Like he needed all of this extra attention after what had happened, it was bad enough people thought he was a savage beast but if they knew about what else happened, he could be sure that others would try and make fun of his friendship with the Defence Professor.

"I know I'm going to regret asking, Hermione, but have you heard what's happened to Seamus and Cormac?" Harry sighed into his lunch, looking glum and anxious.

"Only that their parents have been told, one of the twins told me Cormac received a howler last night after dinner and he hasn't been seen since then."

"Good, I don't have to look at his ugly mug." Draco sniffed, looking past his two friends and at Weasley, who in turn looked rather out of place by himself.

"Harry, I don't think you need to worry about them anymore. If they're not in class, then perhaps they've been suspended."

"Great." He muttered, the sick twisting feeling in his stomach getting worse.

"At least you won't get hassled again." His Slytherin friend offered, shrugging lightly.

"Yeah, people might not want to bother you anymore." Hermione continued but it did nothing for Harry.

"That doesn't make any of this better at all." The brunette grumbled.

By the afternoon there was a commotion down in the main entrance way that Severus stumbled across when he was making his way into the Great Hall for his studying supervision. Mostly Gryffindors, with a few other houses joining in, he could see one student in particular who had received somewhat of a short shift in his education. It was Seamus Finnegan and he was surrounded by a group of his friends as they undoubtedly said goodbye to the senior student. Taking in a deep breath, he wanted to savour this moment for a little while, knowing that the school would be far better off without the likes of him walking around it. He could only see two Slytherin robes amongst the ruckus, so he knew Harry wouldn't be witnessing this, which he was in two minds about.

"Oi, Finnegan! What gives? They chucking you out?" A Hufflepuff sixth year called out and pushed his way through the students.

"Yeah, not really mate."

"Well, where you going?" The raven haired Hufflepuff asked.

"I've uh, well you know it's getting to that time of year where we're looking for jobs and that. I thought I'd go after me dad and study at a Muggle University." Seamus shrugged, looking over his shoulder at where his parents were standing.

 _I wonder how long it took him to think of that_ , Severus thought as he stood in the shadows with both hands in his pockets.

"University? What is that, like an Institution?"

"Nah, like a school after school. It's what Muggles do after this part of their education." Seamus tried to explain, confusing some of the purebloods.

"But you're not finishing this year? Has this got something to do with, Potter?"

Hesitating, Severus stepped from the shadows and was elevated high enough that the movement caught the Gryffindor's attention. His face showed exactly how he felt, murderous and looking to take it out on anyone who dared to question or come near him. A bitter understanding happened between them at that point, Severus sneering for added flair before the Irishman responded to the question he'd been asked.

"Coincidental right? But no, me parents think this will be better for me." Seamus lied.

Having seen enough, Severus turned away to head in for his duties in the study hall when he noticed Harry standing at the top of some stairs, watching the scene below. He couldn't read the expression that well, but could see that it had rattled his Slytherin to have seen his attacker. Standing in the middle of the corridor, he soon caught Harry's eye and indicated with his head into the hall. He received a shake in return before disappearing around the corner. Knowing the stairs like the back of his hand, Severus decided that dealing with Harry was more important than overseeing the students pretending to study and went in search of the upset teen. Luckily, he hadn't made it very far and managed to cut the younger Wizard off and pushed him lightly into an alcove.

" _What?_ " Harry hissed, pushing himself away from the man.

"Harry, stop." Severus said calmly, blocking the way out.

"It's only going to get worse from here, he's leaving and they're all going to blame me!"

"You do not know that."

"I'm a _Gryffindor_ , it's what _Gryffindor's_ do!" Harry fisted both hands, pressing himself against the stone wall harshly.

"Are you? Hmm, I might want to check the boys dormitory tonight then, as there should only be two senior Slytherin's." Severus feigned ignorance and used a smug tone.

"Oh, now you're a comedian. It took a few years but it's finally coming out."

 _Bloody hell, Potter_ , Severus thought, seeing how wound up his Slytherin was getting. He understood of course, this was a trying time for him emotionally, and the strain wasn't something he needed on top of everything else he had going on. Unfortunately, without being able to physically touch him, there wasn't a lot Severus thought he could do. Harry always responded best to touch, but given the nature of his stress, that wasn't the best option for him. Still, he wasn't going to let the younger Wizard away that easily and decided he'd need to talk him down.

"I know I am going to regret saying this, Harry, but perhaps in this instance a strong offence may be better than a weaker defence. You know how the Gryffindor's will retaliate, then play them at their own game. You have the better position now, use it."

Harry blinked at him.

"Act like the bigger person, move on from it but watch your back. You are an Animagi, which the school knows now. You have a lot of power, the students know that also. Keep your head high and your mouth shut, prove with your magic and intellect that you deserve to be here whilst they are expelled from school. You did nothing wrong, you protected yourself in the only way you could. No one can take that away from you."

"You want me to be my father?"

"No, you are not him. You are stronger than that in both magic and will."

"But I snapped my wand."

"Yes, but then again, _you_ do not need one." Severus slowly crept forward throughout their exchange but it seemed the Slytherin hadn't realised until he was encased against the wall by a curtain of black robes.

"I'm sorry… I – "

"This is not something I ever want you to apologize for. But please, do not let them get the better of you. _I_ _know_ who the better man is in this situation."

" _I really don't deserve you_." Harry whispered before allowing himself to fall into his Professor's personal space, sliding his arms around the man's waist and hugging him tightly.

"What are your plans now? I was on my way to supervise study, perhaps you should join me."

Harry pulled away and looked up into the concerned eyes of his Head of House, he considered his options and with his extra study he needed to do in order to catch up with his wand work later, supposed it wasn't the worst idea to join the man. He allowed himself to be escorted and only broke away when he was pointed towards a bench and took a seat. Draco and Hermione weren't there yet, so he was by himself for now; well, that was until Luna moved from where she had been set up and sat across from him with a friendly and familiar smile. Sometimes, he didn't think he deserved friends like her.

"I know this is hard for you, Harry. But just so you remember, we're here for you too. Those bullies got what they deserved, I believe in you."

Her words made him smile and relax. Looking about the hall, he could see people watching him, it was just like his second year all over again when people thought he was the heir of Slytherin. _What a load of rubbish that was_ , he huffed, turning back to his own word and concentrating Charms. Well, he tried to anyway, with the absence of his two closer friends, he couldn't help but wonder if they were together somewhere or if it were just a coincidence that they happened not to be there yet. _If this turns into Hermione and Ron all over again I'm going to have to do something, maybe set up boundaries before Draco gets too emotionally attached_. No, he couldn't do that, they were their own people and like him, they deserved to be happy. Who was he to take away that happiness because he was being bitter about himself and the life he had to live.

"Stebbin's, eyes on your own work."

Harry glanced over his shoulder to see a group of Ravenclaws turning back to their work and his Head of House hovering between their tables. At least he had Professor Snape on his side, at the very least he would always be there, _always around to save the day_. Snorting, he had the strangest image of Professor Snape and Lucius Malfoy being really friendly with each other. Certainly if he'd been asked a couple of years ago what he thought about them, both seemed bitter in their own ways. Malfoy because he was a stuck up Pureblood snob and his Professor because he appeared too good for everyone else. He knew that wasn't the case, with his teacher that was, he was simply proud, knew what he wanted, and wouldn't settle for less. He had been dealt an odd set of cards to barter and gamble over and it had turned out as it had.

"Parkinson, if you cannot keep your mouth shut, leave."

Harry's eyes moved further down the table where his housemate was being told off and saw a Ravenclaw girl as well as two other younger Slytherins who all happened to be looking in his direction. However, unlike the Ravenclaws previously, they smiled at him in support. Pansy Parkinson was a weird spanner in the toolbox, he didn't really know where she fit into the grand scheme of things and could flip like a switch. He still had a tiny bit of resentment towards her after she tried handing him over to Voldemort but she hadn't even been nasty to him since he had been resorted into Slytherin. Yes, she wasn't very kind to his friends that weren't in their house but never animosity towards him personally. It was rather humorous to think now, but back over the years he'd seen Pansy and Draco as the ideal couple, both arrogant and nasty pieces of shedded snakeskin but oh, how they had proved him wrong so far.

"You're late, Malfoy."

Harry almost jumped, not having expected the voice to be right behind him as a flustered blonde headed Slytherin sidled up beside him and hunched over as if he had a major secret he was hiding. However, when both of them looked at their Head of House, he was glaring at them to keep whatever business they had to discuss for later. Apologetic in his expression, Draco pulled out his work and turned to face the table properly. Knowing he wouldn't get away with speaking as their Professor was hovering, he penned a quick note in pencil and slid it over silently. Harry slipped it under his book and waited a moment before pulling it out to read it.

 _Both Gryffindor's gone._

The nasty hook took a quick swipe at his stomach, making it feel like he'd been disemboweled. _Both_ of them? He didn't even want to know what the nasty ramifications were going to be for him… Seamus said he was studying, so what was Cormac going to be doing? Worrying his bottom lip, he was about to ask what that meant in particular when the parchment was swiped from in front of him and the rustling of it being screwed up sounded very close to his ear. In the next moment, Harry could feel the dark aura, an overbearing presence that he could safely assume was Professor Snape.

"If I were you, I would be studying instead of gossiping. Do not test me boys."

A shudder worked through Harry's spine before the older Wiazrd pulled away from them both and wandered down the tables. Both hesitantly got back to work but the newest Slytherin couldn't help but wonder what it was that had happened to Cormac.

 **. . .**

"Well, it is done Severus. You will hopefully be pleased with the results, if not, then too bad." Minerva commented, pouring them both tea.

"It certainly put my mood in a better frame. The observations I made were true, if you had of asked Potter yourself, he may have shown you willingly."

"Your word is enough, I trust that this was not a malicious ploy to get rid of my Gryffindor's simply personal satisfaction."

Severus snorted as he took his offered cup. Yes, he had gone to Minerva and told her exactly what he had seen on Harry's body. Those purple bruises weren't from just banging into a piece of furniture, and regardless of the skeptical eye she had given him when he mentioned the location of said bruising, he ignored it because there was nothing else going on.

"I must say, Severus, I find myself in somewhat of a predicament. Unsure whether I should be pleased you took such notice of Potter, or concerned that my earlier warnings have fallen on deaf ears." Sipping on the freshly brewed earl grey tea, she looked over her rim at the Wizard.

 _Not this again,_ Severus sighed.

"I have always been open with you about the nautre of our interactions, Minerva. I do not see why we have to constantly talk about them. If I had not of taken extra attention to him as of late, you might have every well been peeling him off the ground around the base of the Astronomy tower, or scooping him out of a red river." Relaxing into his seat, he too peered over his rim, unrepentant and waiting for her to bite back.

"Nothing irritates me more than when conceeding you are correct."

Severus nodded, leaving the smugness to develop internally and not showing it.

"How is he _really_? And don't give me some political heresay, I want the blunt truth of it." Minerva set her cup down in her lap and waited expectantly for an answer, one that Severus was formulating carefully in his head.

"He is struggling, both emotionally and physically."

"That is conerning to hear."

"Indeed, however, I will admit there has been an underlying issue which came out the recently that I believe had not been addressed by his psychiatrist either, something that has been causing him a lot of pain." Severus still felt guilty about not having seen it earlier.

"Whatever is it, Severus?" Minerva asked with evident worry.

"He is simply too strong. Leave out the obvious fact that most of this was forced to happen, but Harry was built as a weapon, born and raised to fight against evil. Now, he has nothing left and occassionally forgets what he is fighting for, which could have something to do with the turmoil he has caused to himself and others this year. Snapping his wand, that was quite possibly the best thing he could have done – yes, I know what you are going to say, but understand, he is not the same person he was before. I have not seen for myself the true power that lies within that man but I can tell you that on the night Harry was moved to the Burrow and attacked, the Dark Lord was furious. He had taken Lucius's wand in place of his own but the sheer power of Harry's _expelliarmus_ , cracked the damn thing almost in two, it was irreparable."

" _House of Godric…_ " The Headmistress whispered in awe, "I had no idea."

"You know, the two of you speak as if I am not here, but I would like to remind you that I am. Can I ask a simple question?" Both occupants glanced up towards Ablus' portrait with unamused expressions but the Witch waved her hand to let him speak his mind.

"I've heard both of you now speak about Harry snapping his wand, but where, might I ask, is the Elder wand?"

Minerva raised both eyebrows in surpise at the rather good question but Severus carefully glanced away and took another mouthful of his tea. In the silence, the Defence Professor soon felt both sets of eyes turn to him and he looked to Minerva, as if to say, he had no idea. Albus wasn't going to be fooled, he had known that Severus was helping the student and had no doubt he knew what had happened to it. Hopefully, if all went as he hoped, Harry had put the wand back at his tomb, so he wouldn't have to worry about it falling into the wrong hands.

"He has not mentioned." Feeling forced to say something, Severus lied and had more tea, "In anycase, the wand would be useless to him, he does not need _more_ power, he needs something that will help him _control_ said power."

" _Useless."_ Albus scoffed, like he'd said the worst thing possible.

"Let's just be glad that by the weekend everything should have hopefully worked itself out. Finnegan is no longer attending and McClaggen will be back in two weeks once his suspension has been lifted. That extra week should give Potter some time to adjust and heal from his experience… I wish I had been there more for him. It's saddening to see him so… broken and dysfunctional this year."

"No one said this was going to be easy, Minerva. But, as you tasked me to do so, I am helping him through this and will continue keeping an eye out for trouble before it escalates."

"Good, but I have said it once and will say it again, he is your student and any special treatment should be discouraged."

He really did hate it when she said things like that, he didn't need to be reminded of the delicate position he was in but as Harry struggled and grew in this new life, he couldn't help but feel his own walls crumbling away to let him in. Perhaps it was because others like Minerva were so hellbent on making sure everyone kept themselves at arms length away, but he couldn't let the teen fall through the system and end up worse on the other side. Whatever it was, he was going to focus on the upcoming weekend when he would no doubt be travelling with Harry to France for a new wand.

"I find this very interesting." Albus spoke up once more, this time looking far happier than he had moments prior.

"Please, spare us." Minerva rolled her eyes but let her expression soften and gave the grey Wizard her attention.

"Once upon a time, it would be the two of you having the exact conversation from opposite sides of the fence." Albus started smugly and then hummed, "What is it they called those Muggle Aurors… Officer, no Poles – blast, that's not right – Oh, Police, that's correct, Police officers."

"What has this got to do with us?" Severus snapped.

"One is always good and the other bad."

"Good cop, bad cop?" Severus winced distastefully as he referred to the Muggle term.

"I am lost, can someone please explain?" Minerva looked between them with confusion.

"What Albus is trying to say, is that once upon a time we were having this exact argument, in which I was the bitter one and you were trying to speak on his defence. _Countless_ occassions this happened."

"Oh, Albus," Minerva chastised, "You _do_ come up with the most bizarre things." She huffed, fluffing about and clearing the tea tray.

 **. . .**

Harry felt that as the week progressed he was slipping back into a more comfortable routine. The absence of two Gryffindor's in particular was rather freeing, even if Ron was glaring daggers at him more than usual. He didn't particularly care, Draco was there with him at every turn, almost like a body guard and there was no way he would be complaining. Defence class was still his favourite, pushing aside the fact his favourite Wizard taught it but he had fond memories of one particular cabinet that sat in the corner of the classroom, the object within shuddering and jarring the box so that it ocassionally scraped across the wooden floors.

"What ever _was_ your Boggart?" Harry asked quietly when they were reading to Draco who looked gingerly over his shoulder.

"My father." He whispered back, taking Harry by surprise.

Not responding to the answer, all the brunette did was nod, almost regretting he'd asked in the first place. But what an interesting thought, Neville had turned Professor Snape into a cross dressing fiend, but what would the blonde have done? Oh, he _so_ wanted to know but instead wondered what his deepest fear would now be. He'd feared fear itself, hence the dementor that had appeared in front of him but he and Remus knew it should have been Voldemort. _My deepest fear…_ There were plenty of things currently that he could have guessed might have been his fear, but they were all to do with loss of people, was that still fear?

Finishing his chapter but not actually having taken anything in that he'd read, he saw the next chapter was Legillency and cringed. He didn't have the best of memories with this subject, and yes that could have been because he and Professor Snape hated each other and the man was invading his mind without his strict permission. Biting his bottom lip and worrying it gently, he glanced up to the head desk when their Professor was sitting, reading something of his own. Whilst still up the back of the classroom, some form of movement must have caught his teachers attention and he looked up.

Severus didn't react, he simply looked but the expression he was receiving had him frowning gently, inquisitively. Why did Harry look so bitter all of a sudden, had something happened? Was he feeling ill? At this point, it could have been numerous things, like the Boggart that banged against the interior of its cage. He really needed to get it out of the classroom before it did his head in. But back to the Slytherin who had maintained eye contact, he narrowed his black eyes across the room as Harry picked the book up, turned the open page around and pointed, almost angrily, at the next chapter. Severus couldn't help it, he smiled. Well, smile was a relative term, he partly sneered and smirked, which developed into something twisted that aparently his student didn't appreciate.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked, glancing sideways.

"Occlumency, like I didn't get enough trauma from his lessons the first time." Harry sniffed, and looked towards the window where he could see blue sky.

"Potter, if you have finished reading, please start on the _next_ chapter." Knowing the teen wouldn't be practicing with the rest of his students he supposed he could get a head start on the favourite subject.

"Yes, sir." Harry only replied out of politeness and continued to grumble as he took out his note book alongside his open textbook.

Hermione, who had also reached the end of their reading assignment smiled to herself when she saw what was up next and passed her friend an empathetic look. Even Ron seemed to be on the same page as he peered over his shoulder at his ex-housemate. But by the end of class, Harry was so sure he'd be failing this section of the class he wandered out dejectedly, Draco couldn't understand what the issue was, and was going to ask when Hermione rounded on them both with a coy smile.

"You know, this might be a good thing for you. Last time might not have gone so well but I'm sure with your introduction – "

"He threw a jar of roaches at my head, I snuck into his memories and in the end, Voldemort penetrated my mind regardless, why? Because I was a fucking horcrux."

"He's a little sensitive about the topic." Hermione looked over Harry's head at Draco, who looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"I think you should tell me what happened; and that seriously wasn't an appropriate use of the word, _penetrate_." The blonde commented, trying to look at Harry's face.

"Oh no you don't. Nope, that was back in the past and where it should stay." Blushing terribly at other thoughts that popped into his mind at the suggestion by his housemate, he covered it completely and went to walk off faster.

 **. . .**

Standing on the other side of his Professor's round work bench in his private laboratory, Harry was still bitter about the next topic and was showing his displeasure obviously. He had both arms folded, glare set in place and shifted his weight onto one leg as he waited to be properly addressed. There was nothing he could actually do about it but having a petulant fit about it was going to make him feel better and hopefully they wouldn't be practicing closing their minds in class… He shuddered at what that might do to his Professor mentally.

"Are you going to continue staring at me, or would you like to help?" Severus commented dryly, not giving in to his Slytherin's behaviour.

"Depends."

"On what?"

"Whether you're going to try and test me again like last time." Harry still had his arms folded but they slackened when he heard a small and quick chuckle.

"That was a different time, Harry. I did not particularly enjoy the task, as you should well remember." Sighing, he straightened up to look at his flustering student, "Muddling around the mind of a pubescent male is not something I dare to partake in again."

Feeling like he should be insulted, Harry glanced away and moved towards the table to take a seat. From there, he found a board pushed in his direction and some ingredients that were to be prepped. This happened to be a nice distraction, he didn't want to talk this evening and it seemed there were other things they could do instead. He tried his best with what he had but looking lost at one ingredient in particular, he showed it to the man and shurgged.

"You should be familiar with the Sophorous bean, there is only one way to extract its contents."

"Oh, I remember, you crush it with the back of the blade?"

"Correct."

Doing as instructed, he smiled fondly at the memories of his Half Blood Prince and crushed all nine of the beans before setting them aside and working on the next task.

"Sir, how do you know how to prepare the ingredients? I remember you had crossed this instruction out in the Draught of Living Death and changed the quantity. What made you think it would help the poison?" Harry was genuinely interested and Severus regarded his Slytherin carefully before answering.

"It all comes down to knowing the ingredient. A good Potioneer should be able to look at the method, analyze the different ingredients and understand how adding too much or too little will effect the outcome."

"Yeah, but _how_?"

Frowning, Severus added some of the prepared items, "You know how to cook, Harry. Potion making is much like this. For example, you know what vegetables go with what meat and if you add too much salt."

"So, when you create potions, it just know how the different ingredients will work together?"

"Indeed."

 _Well, that explains so much_ , Harry thought. _Why hadn't anyone told me this before? No wonder Hermione does so well, her cooking is incredible_. Smiling at this new knowledge, he pushed the board back and then stood, walking around the bench and bumping into his Professor lightly, peering into the cauldron as if it was the most fascinating thing ever. Severus didn't mind, he assumed it was further to their conversation and stepped aside to give the teen more room for his observations. One thing that occurred to him when Harry shuffled towards him was how pleasant it was to see him curious and interested. He wondered if it struck him more because this was his craft the teen was interested in or whether it was just the brunette in general but for now it suited him just fine.

When they were done, Severus moved them both into the living area and settled them both in a familiar but comfortable position. He had been hesitant to begin with, not wanting to touch the teen in case he felt threatened by it but there had been no need for Harry seemed very open to their touches. There was even a head resting along his shoulder, the rest of the slender body relaxing into his arm. Whilst he was happy with the arrangement, he was far from content and decided they needed to discuss what was going on.

"I am going to ask you, Harry, how are you holding up?"

"Well enough I guess." Harry sighed, shifting to readjust his position but not removing his head from the oddly muscular shoulder, "The bruises are disappearing slowly and I've noticed some people aren't staring at me as often but they're still scared of me. That part doesn't really bother me, not everyone has voted me as popular number one. Honestly, I thought there would be more backlash against Cormac and Seamus being expelled."

Severus tensed, and immediately Harry lifted his head and looked at him, "What?"

"Finnegan was expelled, McClaggen is under suspension. Did the Headmistress not inform you of this?"

"No?" Harry felt his stomach drop.

"They each received punishment aoccording to their involvement, not that I agree in the lighter sentencing of the latter student."

"I didn't know this… He's going to be pissed off when he gets back."

"Think on that a little, will you? Did you not find it odd that he suddenly just, _disappeared_?" Severus let Harry think for a moment before continuing, "Both are embarressed over what occurred between the three of you, I do not believe you will hear much when he _does_ return. If you do, then they will be dealing with me."

The sentiment was not lost on Harry and when he ducked his head back against its previous resting spot, he let a small smile stretched across his face. Professor Snape really cared about him, and whilst deep down that caused utter turmoil with his hormones and other emotions he was happy to have the man beside him. Things were settling once more, even though he still prepared for a fight in the upcoming week, he figured until he had his new wand securely in his hands, he could just wait it out.

 **. . .**

 **When I said in the last chapter that you might have enjioyed this one… I stetched it out (sorry), France is the next chapter.**


	47. Chapter 47

**.**

 _ **Authors Note:**_ _ **Really hoping this chapter lives up to the expectations for France. *chews nails nervously***_

 _ **. . .**_

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **I know! I'm so sorry! I mean no offence or ignorance by the way. I have visited Paris when I was younger, so I do not claim to know the inner workings of the amazing country of France. And shush about the Boggart, you're too clever (or I'm being super logical with my story). I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Cormac's parents aren't something I was going to explore, but if you think there would be merit in mentioning it upon his return then I may re-jig that chapter.**_

 **#delia cerrano:**

 _ **Ooh, Cormac sabotaging France? I kinda like that idea, but… I have something pretty good to compensate. *evil grin***_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **Aww, I'm so happy! Here, have some fluffy goodness in this chapter. You certainly won't regret dropping everything for it. Hehe.**_

 **#phoenix-rob:**

 _ **Yeah, poor Harry not being in the loop. But then again, it would be too easy for Minerva to just out and tell him, wouldn't it? I guess it puts Severus in a better position, yes?**_

 _ **. . .**_

Severus was staring at the Headmistress, doing all he could not to stand in front of her and gape like a fish. When they'd been planning to organize Harry's trip to France, he'd had every belief that it would be him escorting the teen across the sea. With that decision he'd taken upon himself, he had thought of treating his Slytherin whilst they were there, not in any hurry to make it back; but this was not to be the case and for someone who was accused of only thinking about himself, he found the situation bizarre and uncomfortable.

"I don't see how this is a surprise Severus, the Ministry often calls me in, even at short notice. Therefore, as my deputy, you are to stand in my place during my absence. Surely you remember the way this schools hierarchy works."

Still unable to form an actual sentence, Severus frowned and huffed. Of course he didn't push the issue, he knew she was correct, and if anything were to go wrong whilst she was not on school grounds it was up to him to take charge. Not that it filled him at all with pleasant memories and he involuntarily shuddered at the recent appointment of his own Headmaster duties. It had never been his desire to become the head of a school, his house status was high enough for his liking and with his less than stellar relationship with the Ministry as it was, he was sure they were happy to get rid of him.

"When do they leave, and when can I expect them back?" He asked instead, getting a short glance from the other side of her desk.

"I suspect Rolanda will come and find you after breakfast and it should not take long at all. Here is their port key, Kingsley himself has approved this, in fact he was rather insistent when I told him the details."

"Naturally." Severus grunted.

"Oh yes, nothing has changed with you, Severus. Still the bitter, self loathing man I've grown to know all these years." She tutted, gathering some papers and giving him a short shift.

Again, he didn't respond but took hold of the key pendant necklace that he'd been given that would portkey his student into another continent. Not wanting to stick around for any longer than he had to, he stalked to the Great Hall and sat at his usual spot. It didn't take him long to feel eyes from a certain teenager who looked hopeful but he focused on the cup of coffee that he was helping himself to. Deep down, he felt silly for thinking he'd have a chance to do something nice. Nothing nice ever happened for Severus Snape, that much he should have realized. If nothing else, it would have been nice to get away from the castle again, even for only a few hours and take in some fresh scenery. He was certainly starting to feel the Hogwarts was starting to suffocate him and he wanted breathing space.

"When do you leave?" Draco asked, chewing on his toast.

"Not sure yet, I'm going to ask Professor Snape when he's at least had some coffee. I haven't seen Professor McGonagall about it yet."

"I'm a bit jealous really. I'd love to go to Paris."

"Paris?" Harry frowned.

"Well… Yeah? That's where _En Diagonale_ is located. Where do you think everyone got their supplies from this year?"

"I know that." Harry snapped; feeling like he'd had this conversation before, "I was going to buy you something whilst I was there, but I don't think I will now."

Draco simply chuckled lightly at that before Harry looked back up at his Head of House. He hoped he could go with Professor Snape, maybe even take their time so he could soak in the sights of Paris since he hadn't ever left Britain before. He smiled when he saw Evan land in front of the man with a newspaper; he was so habitual that he found it endearing. He was about to stand when Madame Hooch came up behind him and caught his attention. Jumping at the startling tone, he greeted her stiffly and was about to walk and find his Head of House when she announced she was going to be his escort. Unable to hide his surprise, he blinked a few times before repeating it back and getting an irritated huff in response.

"I will speak with Professor Snape, he has our portkey. I hope you are ready, Potter. I have other things to do other than taking you to France." And off she trotted, stalking towards the front of the hall.

"Why do you look like you've seen an unfriendly ghost?" Draco asked.

"Because part of me thought that Professor Snape would be taking me." He replied, seeing the man looking up at him as he spoke with their broom teacher.

"Think yourself lucky, can you imagine him in the romantic capital of the world? He doesn't do sappy things like that, he's probably happy about it." Snorting, the blonde threw a dismissive hand away at the notion and wandered off.

" _Paris is a romantic city?"_ He thought aloud, deflating further that he couldn't spend it with his Professor.

Madame Hooch was striding towards him again but Harry wasn't looking at her, his gaze was firmly on his Head of House who, in turn, was looking back at him with an odd expression. Harry couldn't hide his disappointment and sagged his shoulders, thinking about the injustice. This was quite possibly for the best however, his feelings were one sided, so did he really want to torture himself more by taking the trip for more than it really was? He supposed there should be some form of interaction, a recognition that he was off, so he pathetically raised his hand and half waved down the hall to his Professor. The man simply nodded, his face looking sullen before looking down at the paper.

As soon as Harry had turned around to leave however, the full emotion appeared on Severus's face.

 **. . .**

Stumbling forward and unlatching his hand from the pendant, Harry was suddenly pulled back by the Witch and took a moment to right himself properly. They had apparently landed in Paris, but straight into the magical alley that lay residence to everything magical. He was stunned, even for an early morning the place was packed and had a positive hustle and bustle that made him feel happy inside. Everything was bright and cheerful, colourful flowers lined shop fronts and hung from the sky. It was much like Diagon Alley but so, so much better, especially the architecture of marble buildings.

"Come along, Potter. I believe it's this way." Madame Hooch belched and he nodded, following her closely through the crowd as to not get separated.

There were much of the same shops but all of their names were clearly scribed in French. The general architecture was something to behold, it was very different to London and more than just the two story buildings that lined Diagon Alley. Some rose almost four stories and there were far more cafes and places to eat in than back home. The scent of coffee invaded his senses and one thought that crossed his mind as he followed his Professor was that his Head of House would have enjoyed it here.

The sun shone over them, casting his shadow down across the sandstone cobbles paving the way to their destination. He couldn't help but smile at the atmosphere, people speaking in French were all around him, chatting happily, hugging and kissing on the cheek when they greeted on another. He caught snippets of their conversations, not that he could understand and found the experience refreshing, intriguing, and relaxing.

He couldn't help but wonder why Ollivander had made the shift to France, was it because of the friendly nature where everyone seemed so happy to see one another, or was it the positive bustle? Perhaps he enjoyed looking at the grand architecture, of stone and marble buildings that were littered with creams and pastel palates, each building unique in their scheme. Or maybe, it was just that he had no where else to go and France was very well equipped to be manufacturing wands, unlike Britain. He wasn't going to know for sure until he spoke to the man, and after a few minutes of wandering through the crowds, getting bumped and pushed in the hoards of people, they finally arrived outside a quaint and modest little store that had an image of a wand on the front banner.

There was a young Wizard standing behind the counter who looked not much older than Harry, with golden yellow hair and the brightest blue eyes he'd ever seen before. He smiled when they both entered and Harry felt his heart skip a beat. This was the first time another male had made him feel quite so light in the chest, but he didn't want to dwell on these feelings right now because he was here for a reason.

"Ah, bonjour." The French teen spoke joyously, and the accent had Harry flushing slightly, unable to stop himself from smiling.

"Yes, yes, bonjour. Ollivander?" Harry side eyed his Professor at her brisk tone and almost rolled his eyes when a frail Wizard apparated right in front of their eyes and sprung around the counter, giving him a fright.

"Harry Potter." It was Ollivander and he did _not_ look impressed to be seeing Harry at the moment.

"Hello, sir." The Slytherin replied, noting how the shop assistant too looked taken back.

"Years and _years_ that wand was created and used for great, wondrous and spectacular things."

 _Oh, shit… He's talking about the Elder wand._

"Ah… Y-Yes, sir."

"And you thought what? _I'll just snap it?_ " Ollivander grabbed the front of Harry's jacket lightly and pulled him closely, "Do you make a habit of it?"

"Evidently so… That's why I'm here." He gulped, ignoring everyone else that was in the room.

The old Wizard let him go, stepping back and looking at Harry all over. The teen didn't know what he was doing, but he simply stayed where he was and tried to look as innocent as possible, least he start an argument with the greatest wand maker of the century. The man hummed, narrowed his eyes, tilted his head both ways, before settling on one and folding his arms, brow furrowing in deep thought before something akin to inspiration must have hit him and he darted out the back of his studio. The other three could do nothing but watch and wonder what he was doing as he muttered to himself about various wand cores and woods. Harry happened to look over at the assistant and was watching him so he smiled out of politeness before focusing back on the wand maker but it seemed the young Wizard wanted to make conversation and in a very thick accent, spoke English.

"Did you really snap ze Elder vand?"

"Er, yeah…" Harry replied, feeling slightly ashamed and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling his cheeks grow warm.

"But… vhy?"

"It's a bit of a long story." Harry replied, his tone apologetic but feeling uncomfortable at the closeness, regrettably noticing Madame Hoch leaving the store.

"Pity, I vould have listened." The boy smiled again but they were interrupted and Harry was pulled aside.

"Minerva McGonagall informed me of your troubles, Mr. Potter. This wand is the opposite of your previous one; made from black walnut, eleven inches and flexible. Please, take it…" Ollivander carefully placed it in Harry's hand and then stood back as if expecting something to happen.

Except nothing outward happened at all, inside however, Harry was feeling very strange indeed. He looked down at the wand in his hand and inspected the dark wood carefully as his entire body filled with a warmth not experienced before. The last time he'd bonded with his wand, it had connected with his magical core in a bright display but this time, it felt twice as powerful and… oddly enough, safe. Finally though, it settled and Harry could feel the magic thrumming through his hand and arm.

"Ah, yes. We have a match, Mr. Potter."

"I-I don't understand."

"Well, you see. Your prior wand was a rather special case, you were destined for great things and I think we proved that right, didn't we?"

"Suppose that's one way of putting it." Harry muttered.

"The wand chooses the Wizard, Mr. Potter. That much has not changed, and I can only assume that with the strain of your relaxed life things did not fit well between yourself and the wand. Whether it be the Elder wand or the one you came and purchased off me when you were eleven, the results would have been the same."

Harry looked to the other younger Wizard who was watching but not really understanding, much like how he felt listening.

"This wand, seeks a master of good instinct and powerful insight; a handsome wood, but not easy to master. With the combination of black walnut and dragon heartstring, it is abnormally attuned to inner conflict and loses power dramatically if the Wizard practices self-deception. Mr. Potter, if you are unable or unwilling to be honest with yourself, you will be unable to perform magic. An owner who is sincere and self-aware draws out the most loyal and impressive of wands, with particular flair in all kinds of charm work."

Harry stood there with a dumb look on his face as he heard the story behind his wand. He'd gone from a phoenix feather to dragon heartstring, it was almost like he was losing a part of himself. But with the new wand firmly in his grasp he felt something emanating from its core and realized that with his inner conflict the wand was warning him. A wood too knowledgeable for its own good apparently, but if it wouldn't allow him to cast magic when he was struggling, then perhaps this was a good thing. How did it distinguish between deceit and just plain wanting to get the job done?

"Anything else I should know then?" Harry asked without anything better to say.

"Life is not over, it is just beginning."

And how very philosophical it was of the elder Wizard standing in front of him. A new wand, new life, all these changes… It was sometimes hard to keep up with them all and did nothing to extinguish the confusion that continually brewed, bubbling away in his mind. Now with the wand acquired, Harry wondered what they were going to be doing and went to look for his Professor only to find her outside talking animatedly with someone who he'd never seen before. Still needing to pay for the wand, he went to the counter and pulled his pouch of money out, Ollivander had disappeared for now, muttering away as he so often did and left the Slytherin with the shop assistant.

"It vas very much an honor to see you, Harry Potter. Are you staying here for a while?"

"No, I have to go back to school."

"Oh, you are still at… at uh, Hogvarts, yes?"

"My last year, yes."

"And what do you have planned for ze future?" The blonde hair hung around the boys face, framing it rather nicely as he spoke and rung through the payment.

"Not really sure yet, I don't have a solid plan. Do you work here making wands?" Harry was pocketing his new wand, sliding it up his sleeve.

"Apprentice to ze great Gellert Ollivander. I have never seen him zis angry before, I am surprised."

Not really sure on how to answer that, Harry laughed nervously and put away his money, before looking back out into the street and seeing his Professors still speaking happily with a friend. Thinking about it properly now, he actually wanted to get back to Hogwarts so he could show Professor Snape. The old wand maker was right, he was rather fond of this new wood, it was a deep, dark, rich colour and exuded strength. But he knew, on the inside it was softer and filled with emotion.

"Vill you come back, Harry?" The assistant was watching him carefully.

"Probably not, but it was nice to meet you." And with that he made a swift exit, catching Madame Hooch's attention.

"About time, Potter." She huffed, bidding farewell to her friend.

On their way back to their entry point, Harry slowed down when he saw a Quidditch supplies shop and his threat to Draco didn't stray far from his mind. They had come all this way, and he knew the Witch would be somewhat interested in seeing what this store had to offer, considering the display broom, which was the newest on the market and differed from what was in London, he was sure they'd be something interesting to look at. Calling her to stop, he pointed to the shop and gave her his best innocent expression, asking politely if they could have all but five minutes to have a look around.

Severus on the other hand was sitting in his rooms, placed in the middle of the couch and staring into the fire impatiently, darting his eyes between the flames and his clock. He'd thought the two of them would have been back a while ago, knowing just by the tingling of wards changing that someone had arrived back but had felt nothing. He was bitterly disappointed that he couldn't have escorted Harry there himself, how typical was it for the Ministry to interfere with his plans. Yes, Severus Snape had thought about this day and the break he could have given them both. Alas, it was not to be and he had to wait until they returned to see what the verdict was.

Sensing something a while later, Severus sat up straighter and waited with anticipation, happy to hear his door swing open soon after. He didn't have time to even turn his head before he saw a slender brunette Slytherin bounding over to him from the corner of his eye and sitting closely beside him on the couch. There was wonder, excitement, relief, all mixed in with the bright green shade of Harry's eyes and it was pleasant to see. Not that he didn't feel even more bitter that it wasn't he who had made the teen happy like this, but he buried that feeling for now and attempted to solely focus on the Wizard next to him.

"I take it your trip went well."

"We were supposed to be back an hour ago… but I might have convinced Madame Hooch to let me take a look around the Quidditch store." Harry winced with a smile.

"You are aware that you were given the right to travel into Paris for a wand, yes?"

"That was our first stop, I promise." Harry pulled the new wand from his holster, handing it over to the man.

Rolling it between his fingers, Severus looked at the beautifully crafted wand, feeling the magic brimming from within it. Dragon Heartstring, if he was correct, and held it firmly in his grasp for a moment, letting the magic settle around him before handing it back. This was far superior to any wand he'd seen up close, especially recently and nodded in appreciation.

"It's black walnut. A little nicer than the holly I had before."

"Indeed. So, who fitted you for it?"

"Mr. Ollivander himself. I suspect Professor McGonagall knew he was there because Madame Hooch called out for him as soon as we got there."

"She would." The older Wizard's tone was dry and sarcastic.

"But he said that this wand it really in tune with my emotions and the ups and downs I have. When I'm feeling depressed and want to harm myself it won't let me and when I'm having a good day, then it will behave much better."

"I'm sure Ollivander explained it far better than that." Severus snorted and saw Harry blush.

"He did…"

"But?" Severus probed, noticing something else being thought of.

"It's nothing, his assistant was there… I guess all of this is kind of lost on me. The moment he saw me, he got angry about the Elder wand. I want to know how he found out about it."

"There was a rumor he was training an apprentice." He ignored the Elder wand comment, narrowing in on something a little more sensitive, "So, the assistant was angry, or Ollivander himself?"

"Oh, no the French boy was really nice, it was Mr. Ollivander."

"I see." Severus said with narrowed eyes.

"Professor Dumbledore won't be any better will he?" Harry bit his bottom lip and once black eyes trained on his green ones rather than on his mouth, he nodded. "This weird thing happened too when I touched it, like my body was warming and accepting the wand but I've never really experienced that before."

"When was the last time it felt similar?" Severus asked curiously.

"Uhm, the other day… Holding _your_ wand." Nervously, Harry leaned into the man's shoulder, "Can I see it again?"

Regarding his Slytherin, Severus shifted and managed to pull his wand free from within his pocket, the one Harry happened to be partially leaning on and their hands brushed against one another. He then passed it over carefully and noted that it was taken as equally gentle. His wand was different to most, his wood for a start, made from the branch of a Cypress tree, represented mourning and was associated with death and the underworld as the tree fails to regenerate when cut back too far. It was quite prominent now, with the war done and dusted, he had been worn down and cut back as far as anyone would have been able to and now, he lived a solitary life, one on the outskirts of society and not _really_ living.

"What is it?" The younger Slytherin broke Severus from his musings.

"You cannot feel it? The Dragon Heartstring is most likely what warmed to you the other day, whilst from different creatures its core remains stable. The wood is Cypress."

"And what's its story?" Harry ran his fingers along the thirteen inch wand, his eyes flicking over to his Professor and were almost half-lidded.

"I will never forget its story. Associated with nobility and those who would lay down their life if required. The owner of this wand finds their soul mate among the brave, the bold and the self-sacrificing. The strong who wield such a wand, Mr. Snape, are unafraid to confront the shadows in their own and others nature." Fixated on Harry's hands holding his wand, he hadn't thought about the implications of his tone.

It was one of the few memories he had with his mother that were pleasant, at age eleven, going to buy his school supplies for the new year and being fascinated by everything in the world. At that age, who would have even considered soul mates and self-sacrificing traits? Certainly not that young Severus Snape but now… Well, as he thought back to what he'd just said he realized how relevant it all seemed.

"Wow, I really wish I'd paid more attention. But I agree with him on his description, you're one of the very few noble Wizard's I know." Harry smiled, not looking at his Professor.

"And what, you are the brave, self-sacrificing one, hmm?" Severus's tone was light as he said it, until he realized _what_ he'd said.

Harry too seemed sharper than ever and his head snapped around to meet his eye. Feeling a lump in his throat, Severus swallowed self-consciously to smooth it over but couldn't find it in himself to even attempt speaking at that point. He had been right though, hadn't he? His soul mate was brave, bold and self-sacrificing. Hell, just call it a Gryffindor and let it be, that was basically what had been foretold when he'd purchased his wand, wasn't it? Unlike all other Gryffindor's, Harry presented himself with humility rather than self-preserving arrogance. The likeness was too strong for Severus to ignore and it seemed Harry could see straight through his impassive mask he'd slipped in to.

"I could be." Harry replied boldly, further proving to Severus what was happening between them.

"You do not know what you are saying." Severus said softly, failing to say anything else.

Harry smiled sadly and looked down into his lap as he placed his Professor's wand across his thighs. It would seem that way, a teenager saying something as silly as he had, but how could he deny his feelings when the Mirror of Erised had shown him that out of everything that he could have had in the world, it was Professor Snape that he wanted the most. Perhaps it was just the feeling of security he wanted, to be loved for the person he was, not what everyone saw him as, to have someone by his side regardless of the trials they fought. Harry didn't know anyone else that made him feel like this, no one he trusted to such a high standard, no one who let him bloody sit across their lap like a child. This was more than student and teacher; even friends didn't do this. Hermione and Ron were the perfect example of this, they started being more close and touchy after they announced they were together, and that was exactly what this was.

"I guess I don't." Harry muttered.

Severus frowned, his heart hammered away in his chest at the comment and he felt the magic between them become unstable. With Harry shifting and going to lean away from him, he experienced a cautious shudder that worked though his body. He hadn't meant for the teen to move away, regardless of what others might have said, he enjoyed the closeness they had with one another. The warmth of another body was unlike trying to comfort himself, so he lifted his arm up and placed it around smaller shoulders to stop his Slytherin from moving too far away.

"I apologize, I had not meant it to sound quite so harsh." Pulling Harry gently back to him, he felt no resistance and settled them both closely.

"Don't be sorry. I need to remember the boundaries."

"And you find it _that_ difficult." Severus felt in his chest a warmth growing, whilst filling him with anxiety it also represented hope.

" _I guess I can't hold on to this forever…_ " Harry muttered to himself before holding his breath, Severus hearing him clearly because of their proximity, "You were the one I saw in the mirror."

If Severus hadn't of had the wind knocked from his body, he quite possibly would have laughed nervously at the idea of Harry having seen him. Not because it was ridiculous or distasteful in any context but because he couldn't believe the coincidence of it all. He wanted to know more, if his body's reaction was anything to go by, he felt this conversation was going to get dangerous and quickly. But something that stood out, was why Harry thought now was a good time to bring it up, the desires were there, he hadn't needed to know they were in the mirror… Now that he did, however…

"Just my image?" Where the huskiness in his voice had come from, the older Wizard didn't know but he could feel his cheeks warming.

"And me." Harry turned his head away and wanted to get up and run away but the hand was holding him close, not usual at all.

"Doing?"

Closing his eyes, Harry couldn't answer, he was so ashamed he had these feelings especially when he'd been told any attempts at kissing would be dissuaded. But, like the older Wizard had mentioned before, the more he was denied it, the more he wanted it and he did, really badly. Everything started and ended with Professor Snape, he looked after him, cared about his wellbeing, and stood up for his rights when he couldn't speak for himself. Much like his ex-Head of House, he was also fair and just. Unlike when he'd had the pleasure of experiencing tongue lashings and bitter rivalries, this man showed him respect and in turn, he held his Professor very highly.

In the silence, Severus started to have issues with his breathing, his lungs stagnating and unable to comprehend the action of filling with air. This was the first time in a long while that he had felt quite this breathless when sitting still, and that was nothing as pleasant as his current situation. He was able to read his Slytherin like a book, he could surmise what had been seen in the mirror based on reactions and the fact Harry was blushing terribly. What took him a while to see however, was that the younger Wizard had started crying, not full on sobbing, but tears caught the lighting and shone across red cheeks.

Harry sniffed, he couldn't believe how emotional he was becoming, the day had started off so wonderfully but now was just like all other days he experienced. The rollercoaster was escalating up in height, being pulled along with a chain and against his own will, he could feel the drop nearing. He felt the bone of a knuckle brushing across his face and tracing his jaw but remained sitting there, eyes closed and fighting back his impulse to do something he'd most likely regret. No one else seemed to see this side of Professor Snape, he was kind and caring; he had a life too, but nobody cared about that, they just saw a sour teacher who had not had a good life.

He saw the image of the two of them in the mirror that played with him a little, pulling at his heart and causing a longing pain. The finger that was now trailing the other side of his jaw was applying pressure, like it wanted him to turn his head, but he didn't want to see disappointment in his Professor's eyes, he'd seen and heard it before. He wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize their friendship, he needed to work on keeping things platonic and giving up on seeing anything more than his fantasies.

Giving up with the insistence of now two fingers that were trying to readjust his face, he opened his eyes but kept his gaze strictly on the other Wizards lap, looking at the wand that lay there untouched. It became partially obstructed when a wrist blocked the view and a hand was cupping his entire face on one side, a thumb wiping away more of the tears. He didn't deserve kindness, he should be told off, berated and thrown out. Not… doing… _this…_

He wouldn't call it an assault, in fact, he thought his body exploded with the most positive of emotions the moment a pair of lips pressed against his. Closing his eyes fully once more, he held his breath in fear that any movement would mean they disappeared. Warmth, love, kindness… cold. The pleasant feelings disappeared when the kiss did, and Harry gasped in a natural response to his body struggling for oxygen. Opening his eyes, lashes still damp with tears, he blurrily looked into onyx orbs that penetrated straight into his soul. Professor Snape had just kissed him. They had engaged in something deliciously inappropriate. Professor Snape had given him one thing he'd been dreaming of for months.

" _Did I guess correctly?_ " Severus whispered, not wavering in his half-lidded gaze into emerald gems.

Harry did nothing but whimper in response and thought that his heart was truly about to explode when he was given a smile, small in comparison to most, but spoke volumes when coming from the older Wizard. It was coy, almost shy and most certainly reserved for a moment just like this. He did manage a nod sometime after and all credit to Severus, who hadn't moved a muscle, sat quietly and watching for any signs of discomfort.

"H-How – " Clearing his throat, Harry sunk into the arm around him, "You kissed me."

Severus huffed, still with a small smile pulling at his mouth, "Yes, Harry."

"I – You said – "

"I know what I said."

Harry suddenly felt like he had a lot of questions but they were all formulating so quickly in his mind that he couldn't articulate anything at that point. Sure, they'd kissed in the past but that was because _he'd_ initiated it, this time it was being reciprocated and it almost made him… giddy?

"This was certainly not the way today had been planned out." Severus continued, almost sighing and relaxing back into the couch cushions as he gazed off into the fire.

"What do you mean?" Harry frowned, feeling the drop coming after his high.

"The Headmistress and Madame Hooch were not originally part of the schedule. If you have not already worked it out, Harry, Paris is known for its architectural grandeur and romantic landscapes. You had been through a particularly difficult time, I'd like to pinpoint when it started but I think we both know it seems continuous. I was going to offer you a reprieve, take you out into the city itself, not just En Diagonale. Perhaps, treat you to lunch."

Harry was able to curve the low by listening intently to his Professor confessing his true plans for the day and was conflicted between feeling angry at the Headmistress or gooey because his Head of House was going to take him on a date. Yes, it was a date, there was no other way to describe it and to see this strict and powerful man being tender was very endearing.

"I would have liked that."

"Perhaps another time." Severus mused, tightening his hold to emphasize the point.

They were silent after this, Harry was looking down between them, alternating between his own lap and the wand that rested on his Professors. He then took out his own wand again and put them beside each other, comparing them for curiosity's sake. Clearly, the Cypress wand was longer and marginally thicker, but only slightly, and was dark in colour. It almost looked black, but compared to Harry's new wand, it seemed lighter than black because the walnut of his wand was even darker. He continued his comparisons and rested his head against the broadened shoulder of the older Wizard, sighing happily and noticing how his lips were buzzing with a light tingle.

"Why now?" Harry broke their silence with at least one question he could verbalize, "You seemed so opposed to me trying before."

Severus nodded, twisting his head and pressing a light kiss to the top of ravenous brunette hair. When _had_ these feelings been established? He had a deep feeling that something had been manifesting for a while, most likely the first time they kissed, but really if he had to pick a point in his timeline…

"Something Minerva said to me last week after those Gryffindor's attacked you, it has had me pondering what we were doing. In all those times previously, I was not averse to it happening but as your Professor and Head of House, an individual that is in a position of authority, I could not let this happen. I will admit, now still is not wise for the positions we both hold, however you have been displaying consistent behavior with me to believe this is something you can handle. Every day you mature, whether you realize it or not." Harry nodded, listening intently, but something bugged him.

"Sir… You never even said you were like that."

"Preferred males?" Harry nodded, "I cannot help where my supposed non-existent heart takes me."

"I don't think you're heartless."

"Perhaps not now, but once upon a time, I have no doubt." Severus wasn't upset or speaking maliciously because he had no doubt that it was the truth, but in the past.

Harry lifted his head and readjusted himself so he could look at his Professor, the security and warmth he experienced when looking at the softened but aged face caused his internal organs to twist and flip. It was much like the feeling he'd had the week prior but without the anxiety associated with it, instead of dread, his abdomen and upper thigh area became awash with pleasant butterflies. He felt his face growing warm when he realized, sitting beside the man who had just kissed him, was setting his body alight with arousal.

He didn't need to say anything, his reactions did all the talking because in his next breath, the older Slytherin was bringing himself forward. A quick darting of his tongue across his lips moistened them and a second later they were connecting once more. With eyes fluttering shut, Harry let his body fill with all the hormones he'd been missing over these years, and what he didn't know was the same thing was occurring to the man causing these happy emotions. Severus's heart felt like it was about to beat right out of his chest, it was pumping so fast he believed that in any moment he would be in cardiac arrest. The sensation was like nothing he had experienced before and instinctively, he knew he should be doing more than simply pressing them together.

Harry knew what to do, he'd done this plenty of times with various Witches, though none had ever been particularly successful. Cho had been crying and Ginny had been very dominant in her kissing style. But this felt different and he knew part of it was that his Professor didn't want to be seen taking advantage of him. So, feeling brave and bold, Harry moved, pressing his lips at a different angle, then weakening the pressure. He tried it again, hoping to coerce the man into mimicking the actions and was rewarded when they parted slightly. A hand came up around the base of his neck, keeping them together and the action caused a line of fire to shoot straight between Harry's legs, causing a whine to sound in the back of his throat.

Severus pulled away at this and kept his eyes on the flushed teen within his embrace, this was madness, they were actually doing this, and he had allowed it, started it even. He had never desired anything so strong in his life, not when it came to love and romance, but seeing the reddened cheeks, parted lips and dazed green eyes, he knew it was only a matter of time before all of his will power disintegrated into nothing. It should have come as no surprise, it was in this position he had seen himself and Harry that – what he thought of as a – fateful night the teen decided to find the Mirror of Erised. Now that he was in the throes of his most anticipated desire, he wasn't sure how he had been able to withhold for this length of time.

"What happens now?" Harry's voice was timid.

"Nothing changes, not outside these walls. I am sure you can understand why," Harry nodded, biting his lip, "You need to stop doing that." Severus lightly chastised, pulling on his chin so the lip was released.

"Why?" With a playful tone, it was evident to both of them, but the older Wizard simply leaned forward and stole the briefest of kisses.

"Do not be cheeky." And Harry laughed.

"Can we still do stuff like this, then?"

"There is no rush and it certainly should not override the real reasons why you come here each week. I am committed to ensuring your safety and well-being, that comes first. Anything extra, consider it a bonus. We have plenty of time to explore what we have, though I understand with your youthful hormones that might be a challenge."

The light jab at his age was nothing Harry needed to worry about but unfortunately, the man had a point, as he shifted and felt a hardness remind him that the situation had indeed made him excited. Tensing his thighs together, it created a gentle friction and he had to hide his face by burying it under his Professor's chin. He didn't want to leave this amazing bubble that had been created between them, but he knew they would eventually when the afternoon turned to night and they were required in the Great Hall.

 **. . .**

 _ **I quite enjoy a fluffy Severus. Hopefully you're all satisfied with the outcome of our French trip? I would LOVE to know ;)**_


	48. Chapter 48

**.**

 **Authors Note:** **Hmm, I think you all liked that last chapter didn't you? Loved the feedback, thank you!**

 **. . .**

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Yes, darling you are. But so am I :P I can't confirm or deny whether Minerva is going to find out about Harry and Severus. I couldn't possibly tell you that she would be angry and utterly furious at the lack of discipline presented by those two…**_

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **You've predicted a few things so far, perhaps we are one in the same person? Yes, so the El Diagonale was a Google translation of 'Diagonally' because I read somewhere about JK using the play on words. Thanks for the proper translation, I should have asked you for it before hand me thinks.**_

 _ **HA! Yes I did steal the Paris date, I'm not even sorry. You will definitely get some jealous Severus in time to come, I have an evil plan up my sleeve. And more animal romance you say? I've actually just finished writing a scene in the next chapter or two.**_

 **#WereBunny87:**

 _ **Agreed, fluffy Sev is the best Sev :D But so is a calm, seductive Sev.**_

 **#werez:**

 _ **I had a comment in earlier chapters (about Ch25 I think), where someone commented on the slow burn of this story. I can't believe it stretched this far! But glad you're hanging in there and enjoying it.**_

 **#delia cerrano:**

 _ **Oh, I totally agree… If it weren't for the next installment of this story. You'll see why I refused a 'Paris-date'.**_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **You're completely adorable! Thank you so much for the amazing comments. And yes, you're right about the conflict. What kind of story would I be writing if it was all fluffy? Probably a less frustrating one, maybe… But I will say this, Severus is going to be tested.**_

 **#i-am-siriusly-sherlocked:**

 _ **Was it you that said you had to give this story a break because the lack of sexy time was missing? Welcome back, regardless! I've missed your comments. I'm working on a heat of the moment thing, not sure where it'll fit in though.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Oooh, I never thought about wards. *thoughtful* Lol, restraint for an eighteen year old male – you're funny :P**_

 **. . .**

Harry was feeling pretty good about himself, things were falling into place once more, but this time it felt different. He was grinning stupidly at the shower wall as he washed himself down, thinking about the kiss he'd shared with his Professor. He'd been wanting it for so long and finally when it happened he hadn't even been thinking it would, totally taking him by surprise. His lips buzzed as he remembered it, the safety and excitement, happiness and completely stress free. It was incredible and he wanted to experience it again. Of course, the man was a conservative, but perhaps that was him pointing out that he wasn't as young as Harry was and didn't get caught up in the hormone thing.

"Potter, you in here?" Frowning, Draco's voice broke through his musings and he called out that he was.

"Get your ass out here." He barked once more and the positive bubble Harry had developed in his shower cubicle disappeared.

With the towel draped over his wet hair and rubbing it dry, he walked into the dormitory to see a Daily Prophet spread out on his bed with a large picture front and center. Feeling as though a hook had pierced his stomach and ripped it apart, he saw that it was of him and in the background, Madame Hooch. He recognized the scenery as El Diagonale and let the towel fall from his head as he read the title.

 _Friend of Foe? Harry Potter's life after war._

He tore his eyes away for only a minute to establish what Draco's reaction was and the anger he'd heard prior didn't match how he was hovering about by his own bed, dressed in his school robes and looking apprehensive. Obviously having read the article, Harry took a deep breath in an attempt to curve the anxiety that built and picked up the paper to read what garbage was being said about him.

 _At the Daily Prophet, we have been asking ourselves what has happened to Harry Potter, this countries National war hero, but it seems now we have been given answers. This boy, at a mere age of sixteen; is it possible that after being surrounded by Death Eaters that he has become the new Dark Wizard we should come to fear? An old school friend of Harry Potter's, who was recently at the receiving end of a vicious attack, has spoken exclusively to the Daily Prophet and was forced to remove himself from the Institution for his own safety, for further information on Animagi p.6. It seems attacking others is not only what our hero is capable of, turning his magic against himself and attempting to end his life several times within the last year alone. Recently spotted overseas in France, it seems the pressures of normal life are too much for our hero and has been through two wands since the fall of the Dark Lord. Shop assistant and apprentice to Garrick Ollivander has told the Daily Prophet that Harry Potter was in possession of the coveted and highly sought after Elder wand, previously owned by Albus Dumbledore; only to snap it in a fit of rage against the Wizarding World. It is rumored that he had done the same to his own wand and therefore sought to obtain a new one in order to graduate Hogwarts…_

Rage coursed through his veins at the lies printed clearly on the paper he held in both hands, refusing to read anymore garbage. Sure, he was finding it hard but there were people that he'd trusted, what happened to saving their arses? Even with Rita Skeeter now gone from the Daily Prophet, they still managed to get the wrong end of the stick and twist his struggles to make him sound like a deranged madman. When was it all going to end? He just wanted to graduate and get out of this life.

"Harry?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you really? You seem pretty angry."

"Think what they would have said if Professor Snape had accompanied me to France like I'd thought." The brunette looked to his friend with an expectant expression and understanding dawned.

"I can only imagine, they'd have played the Death Eater card stronger if he had. What are you going to do?"

"What am I going to do? Well, I could always go on a rampage like they expect me to, or harm myself again. I bet that's that the other Professor's are going to think when they read this, not to mention the crap I'll get from other students. This was supposed to be like hitting a reset on my life, new wand, new me."

"Are you going to write to them?" Draco wondered, coming over and taking the paper back, folding it up to hide Harry's face on the front cover.

"No, Professor Snape has prepared me better than to retaliate. I'm going to focus on graduating, get myself together, then go underground, disappear." Running a hand through his damp hair, Harry nodded to prove his point.

Severus was putting the paper down in front of him, disappointed at the Daily Prophet for spreading vicious and unwarranted news to the wider British Wizarding world. Evan had hung around which was unusual, but he must have sensed something was up by the aura's that were developing in the hall. The Headmistress walked into the hall not long after he'd finished reading the front page cover of his Slytherin and she gave him a grave nod in greeting. Clearly, she had read it and also had questions.

"It is disappointing that they still enjoy reporting on weak news." Minerva snipped.

"It must be a slow news day." He replied, leaning back in his chair and taking a mouthful of coffee.

"How do you think Potter will handle this?"

"He will cope, he certainly seems calmer after obtaining a new wand." He was also secretly glad that he hadn't been the one to escort his Slytherin to France, imagine if they had been spotted out in Paris taking time for lunch.

"You really think a new wand has stabilized him?"

Severus smothered a knowing smile by taking another sip of coffee, "There is no doubt he knows what is at stake if he rebels."

Whispers were heard around the Great Hall as other students read the article on Harry, some looking to the head table for what Severus assumed was guidance and reassurance that everything was going to be alright. He could understand their concerns but they needed to trust Minerva, she had been at this school a long time and acted as Deputy to Albus, if anything she was over qualified for the role. Even though he'd said confidently that Harry would be okay, there was always going to be that little voice in the back of his mind that told him to be careful. He'd like to think the teen was getting better but occasionally the smallest thing would set him off; hopefully the development of their relationship after the weekend still had him in a positive frame of mind.

"I worry for him, Severus."

The Slytherin Head of House looked down into his lap as he placed the cup on his crossed thighs and nodded mostly to himself.

"As do I. However, we both know that there is determination buried within him, something I am trying to draw out."

"I don't doubt you, but I would like things to be normal once more."

"Harry will never be normal, even you should know that." He huffed, letting a small smile cross his lips when he remembered the look on the teens face when he'd realized he'd been kissed.

"Ah, he looks in one piece." Minerva commented.

Looking at the entrance, sure enough, Harry was walking into the hall with Draco and some other Slytherin's in toe. All appearing confident and encircling as if one of their own had been attacked. The brunette looked hurt more than angry however, and determinedly caught his eye as they approached the middle of the hall. Students from the other houses grew quiet as they saw who had walked in but it seemed Harry wasn't paying them any mind and ignored their whispers.

"I will speak with him later and report any issues." Severus commented, just as Evan hopped to the edge of their table and flew over to his Slytherin.

Minerva kept her eye on the black owl, surprised to see it going over to her ex-Gryffindor but made no comment. Harry on the other hand was rather happy to see the owl and smiled as it landed in front of him and hopped closely towards his chest. Whilst it still stung knowing Evan wasn't Hedwig, he embraced the comfort he provided and stroked the soft feathers before helping himself to breakfast. Hermione was soon heading towards them and shoved Draco aside so she could sit next to her best friend, hugging him tightly.

"I'm fine, really Hermione." He said, smiling at her affection.

"Well, yes, but I still had to check. Don't listen to what they say, you know by now that paper is a load of rubbish and I will fight anyone who takes it as gospel." She was infuriated and didn't hold back in her displeasure.

"Oh, good morning, Granger." Draco rolled his eyes and shifted further away to give them both some extra room.

"Draco." She nodded, righting herself and preparing to eat.

"Are the two of you fighting or something?" Harry huffed with amusement.

"Yes."

"No."

Answering at the same time, Harry looked to them in confusion.

"No."

"Yes."

Hermione and Draco corrected themselves, only to say the opposite and then both blushed. Harry winced as he prepared for an argument to ensue but when none did, he turned back to Evan and gave him more of his attention. Sometimes having a friend that couldn't talk to you was great because they could be there in spirit. Words sometimes made things worse, case in point through his two friends. Actually, when they would break away from Hermione later, Harry was going to ask if something had been said about certain feelings towards said Witch but was momentarily caught in his own. He surreptitiously glanced over Hermione's head towards the head table where Professor Snape was.

The man wasn't looking in his direction now but even the sight of the older Wizard set his blood pumping slightly faster. He couldn't quite believe his luck, not only kissing a male, but an older one, one that happened to be his teacher, friend… and maybe something more? It certainly took the sting out of the newspaper article slamming his recent actions, whilst he still felt sore about it, knowing that he had a good distraction from reality was quite a nice feeling.

 _We will free you mind_.

Snorting he smiled down into his cereal and wondered if Professor Snape had thought of that way back then. Obviously he hadn't, but it did make him laugh just a little, not too much, he didn't want his friends to think he was going crazy or ask him what was wrong. Unfortunately, Hermione _did_ hear his amusement and voiced her bewilderment.

"This year has just gotten too ridiculous that it's funny."

"Harry, there really isn't anything funny about the paper spreading lies about you."

"When have they not?" Harry countered, lightly shrugging.

"That's not my point. Just be careful okay? I'm sure Professor McGonagall has read it, we should say something to her."

"Hermione, I appreciate the concern, I really do, but just leave it. I'm sure by not reacting to this, people will just leave me alone and it will blow over. Besides, I plan on using silence to piss people off."

Hermione didn't understand what he was referring to, but Draco did and he grunted his appreciation, standing when his friend did. Looking between the two boys, she was at a loss as to what could be said or even thought. Did they know something she didn't? That wasn't a position she liked, a plan had to be put in place, a healthy way of dealing with this… The unknowing wasn't her style whatsoever.

 **. . .**

It wasn't until Wednesday that Severus was able to speak with Harry, waiting for the teen to come and visit him as he usually did, but finding himself more on edge with nervous excitement than anything else. Anticipating the knock on his door, he glanced around his rooms for a moment, not entirely sure why until he saw an untidy stack of paper and went to tidy it. It wasn't until he was half way through organizing it that he realized what was happening and huffed to himself. Harry knew what to expect when he came in here, why was there any need to change anything?

At this, there was the knock he had been expecting and the door swung open to reveal his Slytherin who stepped inside quickly and shut the door. Immediately the room changed, an electric aura developing between them much like after the first time Harry had hugged him at the beginning of the year.

 _Oh no… It's awkward_ , Harry thought as he felt the shift.

"Hi." He said, rather than the more humorous one he'd thought of on the way down.

This was essentially their first lone encounter with one another since the kiss happened, class didn't count, there were too many others to bare witness if something was said or heated glance was sent either way. But now, Harry began wondering, analysing. Had the weekend been a mistake? Was it just something to pull his mind out of the depressive thoughts of unrequited love?

"Don't." Severus saw his student self-imploding.

"Don't what?"

"Over think." At this he took a deep breath and closed the physical distance between them, letting Harry step into an embrace.

"I didn't think it would feel this weird."

Severus hummed, "Precisely why I wanted to wait."

"Wait?" Harry pushed himself out of the hold and looked up to his Professor.

Immediately Harry had more questions but they all disappeared from his mind when a hand was placed on his nape and pulled forward. The soft pressure on his lips calmed his emotions and without realizing how tense his shoulders had been, felt them drop. He then took his own hands and squeezed them between their chests, running his fingers up the black robes. As he passed the mans heart however, he paused and slid his right hand back down so it was directly over the beating organ. It was quick, quicker than any resting rate and realized that the furiously beating heart showed his Professor's nervousness. Whilst he seemed so calm, in control of the situation and taking the lead between them, he too was hesitant and scared. A different emotion worked its way into Harry's body, this action made his Professor appear more human and less imposing as he usually held himself.

Harry sighed into the embrace, his entire body relaxing against his Professor and brought hands up over the older Wizards shoulders. There was little movement along their lips but a gentle massage, seemingly neither of them hurried or fazed with how things were proceeding. It was completely different to what he'd experienced before, always rushed, never really know what he was doing, and pressured. The gentleness was setting his entire body on fire, he could feel that his face had flushed and another, lower, region of his body was twitching gently. It was getting dangerous, he didn't want the man to feel that, not right now; so he broke away and kept his eyes cast down for now.

Severus wanted to see Harry's face, but all he received was the mess of hair as the teen nuzzled in against his shoulder. So shy and coy, he reveled in it and was pleased that he could feel both of their tension disappearing with time that passed. He had meant what he'd said previously, there was no need to rush, they could take this at their own pace. Well, when he said _their own pace_ , he was really referring to his student and the delicate matter that had occurred recently. It was surprising to see the resilience the younger Wizard showed, especially after such an encounter. Whilst, yes, he had made the first move, he knew it was what Harry wanted and he had observed the teens actions to ensure he felt comfortable.

"Harry." Severus inhaled deeply and pressed his nose into brunette locks.

"Yeah…?" Harry responded, muffled by the man's robes.

"Does this upset you?" Severus had to know the mental state of his student before continuing, if he had crossed a line between them, then he would stop.

"What? No way." Pulling his head back, the solid answer buried any concerns.

"Very well, I just wanted to check."

"Sir… I don't want you to apologise for this, I mean I was the one who couldn't control himself and had these wildly unrealistic thoughts and – "

" _Wildly unrealistic?_ " Severus echoed, curious.

"And – er – "

"Never blame yourself for this. Let me worry about the bigger issues, all I want you to focus on is what _you_ want."

Harry considered the man's words and then finally nodded, wanting to go in for another kiss but restraining himself for now. He needed to remember why he was down here too, it was his mid-week therapy session with his Professor and if he thought back to the week he'd had, there was actually something they needed to discuss. He had a new wand, the papers were printing lies about him and everywhere he went around the castle, people avoided him. He knew what he wanted to do, but he would feel better if there was someone wiser and more mature to tell him his plans for retaliation were appropriate.

He stepped out of the touch for now and wandered backwards, not wavering in his eye contact before he could feel the couch coming close and turned towards it with the intention of sitting down. Severus followed the lead and they sat close, in their familiar position with Harry's legs across his thighs. This used to be a comfort thing for Harry, that morphed into an equally reassuring position for Severus, which now meant so much more to both of them.

"Sir, I need to know that I'm doing the right thing." Harry started things off, looking down at his lap and wringing his hands gently.

Severus put a hand on one of the teens knees, squeezing reassuringly, "You have not acted unreasonably this week, I meant to ask how things have been for you."

"Well, tense and a little stressful but…" Harry paused and Severus stroked his kneecap with a thumb, "I think timing for us was perfect. I'm not sure I would have reacted so outwardly calm if I hadn't just – If we hadn't, you know." Stuttering, he wished he could hide his face.

"I see, well Minerva was certainly surprised to see you intact that morning. What _did_ go through your mind?"

Harry glanced up and gave the man a shy smile before looking down again, "Quite naive of me, but I knew you'd be disappointed if I lashed out, but the overriding feeling was that I had you by my side and suddenly everything seemed… irrelevant."

Severus was rather taken back by the admission. It appeared that Harry was now stronger because he had something else in his life that didn't require him to act in a way that was lying to himself, he could be who he was and not pretend. If there had been any doubt for the Head of House prior to this, it disappeared. His Slytherin had found peace, perhaps this is what he needed all along, someone to prove that they were there for him during the good and bad. They certainly had been through a lot of pain and pressure this year, romance for both of them had been so far removed from the equation that this had been overlooked. Severus definitely felt more relaxed in his situation and surroundings knowing that Harry was there with him, not necessarily _for_ him, but with him regardless.

"This is very pleasing to hear. Pity it had to take this long for that to happen."

"Are you saying you should have kissed me back ages ago?" Harry sniggered and bit his lip, but it was soon removed from his teeth by a gentle tug on his chin.

"No, neither of us were ready for that back then. Merlin, I hadn't ever expected this to happen at all."

"You weren't exactly my favourite person coming back here." Harry admitted, hoping he wasn't about to offend the man.

"Likewise, but we have grown, you, to be more precise. You have matured greatly and grown resilience in the face of major adversary, even when the papers decide to tear you apart once more. What is your plan, out of curiousity? I assume that you are ignoring it all considering the lack of any real action taken since the weekend."

"Precisely, ignore it and no one will have anything to talk about. I've been there, done that. Funny, when the Daily Prophet decided to rip into Professor Dumbledore and I, it had been Seamus that approached me in the common room, telling me I shouldn't have returned to school."

"I can only imagine what that must have felt like."

"It wasn't so bad, Ron stood up for me and Hermione… The other Weasley's not so much but I knew I had their support considering we'd been staying at the Burrow over summer. Then Luna said something to me later in the year that put things into perspective."

"Do enlighten me."

"It was with You-Know-Who. She told me that if she were him, she'd want me to feel cut off from everyone else, because if it was just me, and me alone, I wouldn't be as much of a threat." Harry's eyes became a bit glassy at this and he looked away.

"That… Is a rather intelligent perspective." Severus was looking into the fire and missed the way his student had gotten upset.

"Even though we had those spectacularly successful Occlumency lessons, that was actually what stuck in my mind when he invaded it. My friends." He had tried to be humorous, but when Harry sniffed, Severus finally saw his face.

"Hey, what's this?" Pulling the younger Wizards face towards him, he wiped away a tear that had worked its way down the flushed cheek.

"It's just old memories, I shouldn't be dwelling on them."

"No, but ignoring the pain is not going to make things now any easier. Miss. Lovegood is a close friend yes?" Harry nodded, "Miss. Granger and Draco also?"

"I know that I'm not alone now…"

"As for Occlumency lessons, are you really that against the upcoming subject this year? I would have to wager you are going to be the most knowledgeable at the discipline."

"Except for when I can't block anyone out."

"We will see." Severus smirked, patting Harry's knee gently.

 **. . .**

Whilst Harry was able to block most things out, most of the stares and whispers about him, he'd had enough of it all. Professor Snape had definitely inspired him to keep going like he was, not provoking anyone and just letting things run its course and so far it had been going well for him. Until, of course, Ron decided he had a bee in his bonnet and had tried to corner Harry in the corridor between classes. He supposed, in hindsight, it was a good thing he'd had Hermione with him as she strolled forward, fist balled, and connected fiercely with the ginger stubble lining the red heads jaw.

Outrage had been expected, but like a bucket of cold water, his arguments had been extinguished and Ron had wandered back to where he had been intending to go, leaving Harry and Hermione to go on their merry way. Harry smirked but attempted to smother it with a hand as he glanced across at her, she was rubbing fingers along the throbbing knuckles used to hit her ex-boyfriend but had no regrets. It had been a long time coming and certainly over due.

Now however, both of them were entering the Great Hall for dueling club and upon entry, Harry saw that his Professor immediately relaxed. A small frown pulled at the younger Slytherin's brows at the action but he shrugged it off when Draco grabbed his attention. He had two Slytherin girls standing there anxiously, which caused the brunette to stiffen with caution. What did they want? Hopefully nothing too invasive, like personal information…

"Is it true that your Patronus is a snake?" One of the girls asked.

Regarding her with surprise, Harry nodded and went to withdraw his wand as he surmised they would want a demonstration. However, before he could fully pull out his wand he heard his name being called softly from behind and peered over his shoulder. Professor Snape clearly needed to speak with him and the reaction prior had him wondering what was going on.

"Sir? Is everything all right?"

"Potter," Severus nodded, appearing professional and acting like they hadn't been snogging the night previously, "We need to assess your abilities with this new wand you have procured."

"Now?"

"Seems as good of a time as any." Severus's face twitched, much like a frown would have pulled.

Harry took a moment to scope the room and the occupants that were there. Back where Draco and the Slytherins were, they watched him and an anxious knot started developing in his stomach. He had only been doing his catch up charms and hadn't even started on Defence yet, what if his wand failed him and he was meant to look a fool in front of everyone. He had been so proficient with his old wand, whether he was of a sane mind or not, but this wand wasn't going to let him do anything dangerous, unless he misinterpreted what Ollivander had told him.

"A problem, Potter?" Harry shuddered at the use of his last name.

"In front of everyone?" His voice was torn, trying to keep it a whisper.

Severus glanced either side of his student, seeing if anyone was paying them any immediate attention and was annoyed when he saw they were. There wasn't a lot he wanted to do in this situation that would be classified as appropriate, so he settled for a glare. Now was a perfect time and perhaps a little added pressure would be beneficial, he only wanted to test the basic limits of the teen's abilities.

"Potter, we will test your wands capabilities, I will only block your spells. This is not for show, we are simply trialing your new wand."

"Fine." Harry grumbled, gripping the handle of his wand tighter, "Let's get this over with."

With a firm nod, Severus made his way up the steps and walked to the end of the platform he'd erected for the lesson. He had planned this from the beginning, it wasn't a weakly thought out plan, he had been prepared for testing the younger Wizard's abilities. He saw that Harry was making his way to the end also and regarded him carefully, they weren't directly at opposite ends of the stage, they were closer than that because it was simply a test, nothing more. Severus withdrew his wand and the action caused most of the room to stop what they were doing and watch them up on stage.

"Wicked, Potter versus Snape." A fifth year spoke in the quieting room and Harry felt his nerves increase.

He'd faced the man before in less than stellar circumstances, even life threatening ones, but this was not anywhere near that depressing. He could handle his Professor, possibly better than anyone else in this room, forget about Hermione and Draco, this had been a face down he'd been in previously. Looking down at his wand, he closed his eyes and let the magic warm to him, he knew in his mind and heart that this was for his education, to better himself and find out what he could do. The light feeling that crept into his hand and arm when he focused and built the bond with his wand allowed him to relax, they both knew there was no deceit nor harm that would be intentional.

He was ready to go.

Raising his wand, Harry verbalized his spells, not that he didn't think the man wouldn't be able to identify what was coming his way. It was blocked with ease, obviously, so he tried again. Pausing for a moment after he took a few seconds to examine his wand again, this wasn't for anyone except for himself but he knew that by showing the students this wasn't a real duel, it would take some of the pressure away. Hopefully even get them doing their own thing and not watching him. From here he used every defensive spell he could think of, switching to some non-verbal ones as he went.

"Good, Potter. Now swap." Severus got ready to send his first unfriendly spell but it wasn't something the teen wouldn't know how to block.

He knew to be careful, the colour of each spell could still be an issue so he rethought the tactic when he realised there were a couple in his arsenal that would flash green. He didn't want to traumitise the teen, but perhaps he could let him know towards the end when he was getting used to the back and fourth, mention it and test the reaction. Whilst Harry hadn't been able to recollect what the wand wood and core description from Ollivander had been, he was now in possession of a letter sent by said wandmaker for his own reference. He would later tell his Slytherin he had this, there were to be no secrets between them, he wouldn't allow it.

As for their display, Harry was holding his own very well. He hadn't expected anything less however, this wand was going to be a fierce companion and even his own wand was agreeing with his observations. Actually, this was most bizarre, _his_ wand, the extension of his own arm was subtly making itself known that it approved of this pairing. He knew the wands were not brothers, that would have been impossible, especially after all Ollivanders wands had been destroyed when his shop had been targeted during the war. The last known case of brother wands had been with Harry and the Dark Lord, what if his recent theory had some sustenance…

"Stop, Potter." Severus commanded, then stepped forward, motioning for Harry to meet him half way.

"It feels good, natural and weirdly compatible right now. I would have thought there to be some resistance but I'm surprised."

"Mr. Ollivander was clearly correct in his matching services. There is another idea I want to run by you, if you agree to it." Severus chose to ignore everyone else in the room, some had gone back to what they had been doing before, clearly uninterested now that a duel wasn't going to break out.

"Guess that depends on what this idea would be." Harry replied, pocketing his wand.

"Green curses." Severus said bluntly, seeing his Slytherin flinch.

"You think I'll be okay with that?" The younger Wizard was unsure and a shudder worked down his spine.

"I have no doubt that when you are given warning, you will be fine. That wand of yours is something else, it almost acts of its own accord and I would like to test a theory I have. Do not feel pressured into this, we can discuss later if you would prefer."

"One spell. One and then we're done." Harry swallowed hard when he was done and took out his wand again as he spun around but a quick hand gripped onto his arm and stopped him.

"I mean what I said."

"One won't kill me." Harry said without thinking, then closed his eyes in shame, the last green curse _had_ killed him, how silly.

"Very well." Severus replied, turning stiffly and walking away.

When they got back to their respective ends, Harry took in a deep breath. _Perhaps we should have done this in the Room of Requirement_ , he thought, turning to face his Professor. Worry was evident, anyone looking at him would have thought so if they were to pay attention at what was going on. Draco was one of those individuals and stood from his position of leaning against the edge of a bench, something didn't seem right and immediately wondered what had been said during the interim. He pushed past a couple of people, eyeing his Head of House in the process and went to stand on the floor below where his friend was waiting for something.

"What's going on?" He asked, noting both Wizards lowered their wands, "You look like you're about to crap yourself."

"Thanks for that assessment, Draco." Harry half huffed, giving the attention to his friend, "Professor Snape is going to try a green spell, he'd been holding back."

"Are you sure that's wise?" The blonde asked warily, noting Hermione sidling up beside him.

'Well, we're about to find out, but don't panic if I freeze up."

"Cushioning charm is only a second away." He nodded up at Harry and then proceeded to step back, pulling Hermione with him.

"Are Harry and Professor Snape dueling?" The Ravenclaw asked curiously.

"No, he's getting some practice with that new wand. This should be interesting though."

Harry raised his wand in preparation, knowing that if this had of been any other situation, speaking with his friends would have sent the man into an irritated rant. But this was delicate, a sensitive topic that none of the other students really need to know about. He supposed that by doing this with Professor Snape, some of the students would see that he wasn't a dangerous madman and still struggled like the rest of them. They were about to find out anyway and he could feel the fear being amplified in the length of his wand, something he wasn't used to feeling. His other wand had been so sure of things, it never hesitated and was completely reliable. It had been a match made in heaven, but he could feel himself doubting the trust in his wand as well as himself.

Severus could see the doubt and anxiousness from where he was standing but the words from Ollivanders letter didn't stray far from his mind. _Mr. Potter's wand thrives on a Wizard with good instincts and powerful insight, which makes it hard to master._ He already knew Harry had great instincts, especially in the face of adversity and danger, something to do with Gryffindor bravery and stubbornness but more often than not it was this bold attitude that saved him from many hairy situations. This shouldn't be any different and he knew it was coming.

"Confringo, Mr. Potter. Be ready." Severus announced, and Harry took a deep breath before he finally nodded.

Holding his ground, he saw the raised wand and his Professor opening his mouth at the same time as he made the correct movements. Whilst a dangerous blasting curse, Harry knew the correct shield to block it and had it on the tip of his tongue. He could hear whispering in the back of his mind, his sub-conscience telling him it was going to be fine, but he knew that until the green curse appeared from the end of the older Wizards wand, nothing would be certain.

" _Confringo_."

Harry's wand was raised but the moment he saw that green glow he lowered it slightly, his arm feeling like a dead weight. _Look at you, weak, vulnerable_. Voldemort's voice invaded his mind and everything in the Great Hall went silent apart from the whispers in his head, they were telling him he was no good that he should just give up. _So weak!_ He felt like he was, he couldn't do anything right, nothing at all. His body was mentally and physically weak, as proven by Seamus and Cormac. _Take it, take it all!_ Humiliated and torn, the vulgar words haunted him still… but there was a silver lining in all of this, out of all the years he'd been bullied and battered, only when he had been squeezed to the point of no return was he saved by the one man who understood everything. It was his light, his knight in shining armour that came in the form of a snake patronus. It was his patronus, well it had to be because he was the only one who had one, and it caused his focus to sharpen, bringing him back to the present.

The curse was almost upon him and in a moment of clarity, time for Harry stood still. He saw his purpose, his goals, he saw the man who made everything happen for him and never wavered from his side. He saw his friends and their support, even going so far as to see his enemies who tried to destroy him. But he wasn't going to be destroyed. His name was Harry James Potter, and after having been dragged through the mud, put on display for the entire Wizarding community to shame and blame; and he was given another chance at life.

With limbs springing into life, his body seemed to move of its own accord and he sliced through the air just as the green curse was less than a foot away from his face. The impact of the spell on his shield caused a large explosion and covered him in a smokey green mist that hid his next move. He had struck upwards, starting from the right side of his body and up to the left. With his body in motion, he spun, ducking elegantly and spinning out of the mist at the very last minute, his wand pointed directly at his Professor and a countering curse being sent back.

Severus hadn't been expecting it and the best he could go was throw up a shield at the last minute which sent the hex up into the rafters. In fact he couldn't see the younger Wizard all that well before the smoke disappeared and a determined looking Slytheirn stepped into stand upright. Whatever just happened, he would ask later, for now he lowered his wand and gave a short smile that showed his satisfaction that they had made progress on something. This was to be celebrated at a later stage, for now, he put his wand away and nodded to his student.

Harry blinked, taking a moment to think about what he'd done but when he heard clapping from Draco and Hermione who clambered up onto the stage and were hugging him, he decided to revisit it later. And by later he was referring to an important meeting down in the Dungeons, sometime after dinner, uninterrupted and sitting across his Professor.

"That was great Harry." Hermione said, latching onto her friend first.

"I almost thought you were going to let it destroy you. What was he thinking sending _that_ curse at you?" Draco patted Harry on the back whilst partially glaring at his Head of House.

Scratching the back of his neck, Harry laughed awkwardly, "I thought so too."

"Really?" Hermione's interest was piqued but he didn't want to talk about it right now and slipped down from the stage, going back to the two Slytherin girls that were watching him in awe.

"That snake was _so_ cool." One of them said enthusiastically.

"Can you show us how to cast it?" The other asked, withdrawing her wand.

"Uh, look that's really something you should be getting Professor Snape to teach you. You will learn it in another couple of years." Harry replied honestly, remembering that they were here to simply study rather than learn any new content.

He could see that the two girls were visibly upset but he wouldn't go behind his Professor's back, not only was it unfair but he really didn't have time to be taking on a large group for teaching like he'd been forced to in his fifth year. Luckily, Draco was right beside him and told the girls that he had only gotten Harry over to show them his patronus, not to actually teach them.

"Besides, aren't you learning about Boggarts at the moment? Perhaps a better use of this time would be practicing the counter curse for that." Harry offered, remembering the cabinet in the man's classroom.

He shuddered at his own experience, a Boggart that took on the form of a Dementor, _I wonder what it would be now?_ He thought, looking down at the ground and frowning in concentration. There was one way to find out, it seemed easy enough but did he really want to know what he was afraid of deep down? He'd made the mistake once by seeking the Mirror of Erised, but then again, he seemed to be reliving everything didn't he?

"Hermione?" Harry turned towards her a little further, knowing she had heard what he'd been telling the girls, "Do you think our Boggarts would still be the same?"

"I highly doubt mine will be, Professor McGonagall is now the Headmistress. Failing isn't my greatest fear right now, at least, I don't think it is."

"Should we find out?" He gave her a quick smile and her eyes darted behind him to see where their Professor was hiding, her expression changing to something a little more sneaky and sinister.

 **. . .**

 _ **Someone *cough***_ _ **[#Aodrenn]**_ _ ***cough* eluded to Harry's Boggart before, but I want to know what you think Severus's might be. I've already decided, but I'm interested to know if any of you might be close.**_


	49. Chapter 49

**.**

 **Authors Note:** **_I've been waiting DAYS to upload this because I couldn't log in!_**

 ** _. . ._**

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **Yes, the absolute best and thank you for the long comments! I love that you're taking the time to not only read my story but to express your thoughts like that – thank you again! Ha, can you imagine an angry Lily Potter? These are some good points.**_

 _ **Wow, no wonder people get confused learning other languages… I hope you're not offended if I leave it as it is.**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Lol, don't be a scaredy cat! I love hearing all your theories before uploading a chapter because you guys think of different stuff that could make the chapter that little bit more exciting!**_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **Omg, I can totally see him being afraid of McGonagall. Who wouldn't be intimidated by our adorable queen of ultimate shade. Thank you for the appreciation of duels, I know that when I read stories, some people get so caught up in the physical descriptions of what happens that they sometimes miss an opportunity for character growth. I adopt the same principle when I write the Quidditch scenes too, so I shall continue in the style seeing as it works so well. Hmm, your thoughts on Minerva are interesting. I will certainly keep that in mind, but don't be surprised if it comes much later in the story.**_

 **#WereBunny87:**

 _ **Thank you :D**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Ah, yes the drama. I love writing drama – if just fills me with such joy! It's interesting you say that about his Boggart and you certainly aren't the first person either. I'll be honest, I just don't see him being that straight forward and I think you'll see what I mean in this chapter.**_

 **#Vinetta-Venture:**

 _ **Welcome, welcome! I'm so happy you're enjoying the story, and welcome to the Snarry ship! I have another story if you like this one, it's called 'Broken', if you want some smushy, fluffy goodness whilst you wait on updates for this. Now, I must say that I don't claim to be an expert on PTSD, but I try and create various things that would be relatable. Anyway, thank you for your comment and I hope you enjoy this update.**_

 **. . .**

Harry and Hermione had every intention of heading up to their Defence classroom but the Slytherin knew that the door would be locked and if caught, could mean dire consequences for him. Well, his friend too, but he was thinking something along the lines of a little more personal. Never the less, when he found himself in his Professor's private rooms after dinner, he committed to asking permission, something he believed wouldn't be denied, he was sure of it. But more on that later, currently he was standing in front of the fire, his arms wound around his Professor's neck, being held close as they leisurely reacquainted with each other.

"If this is my reward for nailing a trauma thing, then I should really be upping my game." Harry breathed, been giving a reprieve from their oral exploration.

"You certainly surprised me, I was concerned that I would be mopping up pieces of Harry Potter's blood and bones off the walls." Severus replied bluntly, which caused Harry to pause as he went for another kiss and pull back.

"You wouldn't have…"

"We will never know." Severus moved and pressed his lips lightly to the corner of Harry's mouth, "Enough celebrating, back to serious matters."

"I'm not even sure I know what entirely happened. There is a blank part of leading up to stopping the curse where I thought I was being spoken to, the voices… But then I think I summoned my patronus?"

"Yes, I had wondered where that came from." Severus commented, pulling gently on Harry's robes and directing them to the couch.

"I did hear some voices, the usual ones, and there was a bit with Seamus," Harry shuddered at the mention of his classmates name, "But then I felt this positive presence appear from somewhere and that's when I saw my patronus. Is it possible to have conjured it simply by being pushed into action?"

"Your magic has always been strong, Harry. I was particularly interested in testing out your new limits with this new wand and I was not disappointed. There is something I must show you also, I hope that a line has not been crossed, but I reached out to Mr. Ollivander about the story behind your wand. He seemed only happy to provide me with an explanation after explaining to him how you and I are connected currently. Here, you may have his response."

Harry took the parchment and read the almost illegible scrawl and depicted perfectly how old the Wandmaker was, but the words rung a chord with him and nothing was new. Everything had been explained to him at the shop and no surprises had him offended. He wasn't upset with his Professor, the fact he cared enough to do this was still refreshing and he made sure the man knew he was okay by flashing a smile.

"What about it has your interest?" Harry asked, folding the parchment and placing it on the table.

"It is still an early concept, an idea that our wands compliment each other. Nothing to concern yourself over, I had been more interested in working out what my wand meant now that things in life have changed direction."

Nodding, Harry took his Professor's hand and lazily massaged his thumb along the top in circular motions, brushing against the prominent knuckles. There was an interesting reaction his body had to such a simple motion but he didn't dwell on it and simply took in every detail he possibly could. He started at the nails, cataloguing the fact they were trimmed nicely, gently curved and not too long. He traced a finger along the middle digit, lightly moving over two knuckles before ghosting over the large vein that travelled up towards the mans wrist. A light dusting of dark hairs started to appear as he pushed back on the black sleeve but he didn't dare to lift it further and instead turned the hand over to start his journey again, this time on the underside and mapping deep lines.

"Are you quite finished?" Severus mused, his voice curling into Harry's hear, tickling the shell he was that close.

"Sorry… I just found it interesting." Going to move his hand away, it was taken suddenly and his palm turned upwards.

Severus pressed a gentle kiss to the heel of Harry's palm, twice actually, as he placed another one closer up the wrist but not going any further. He saw the younger Wizard blush at this and decided he would stop, judging by the time it was just as well and he resigned himself to saying goodnight to his student. When they got to the door, Harry leaned against it with a coy smile, both hands in his pockets and not intending on budging any further. Severus didn't particularly want to play games tonight and was about to kindly tell the teen to take a hike when his Slytherin spoke first.

"You're still covering Boggarts with the third years?"

"I am."

"And will it still be in your classroom tomorrow after classes?"

"What would you want to know that for?" Severus pursed his lips.

"Well, there was a time where my biggest fear was fear itself. I want to know if this is still the same or if I need to be worried about something else."

Severus took a deep breath and briefly looked at the roof his chambers, then exhaled slowly. It wasn't a terrible inconvenience he supposed, and he was somewhat interested to know what that fear might be also. So, he agreed that he could come after classes and try his hand at getting rid of the blasted demon. Harry tried to get a rise out of him by asking what form the Boggart would take for him but he refused to indulge his green eyed monster and swiftly booted him into the corridor with a smug, _goodnight_ , spoken before shutting the teen into darkness.

 **. . .**

"I'm actually surprised he agreed." Hermione mused, sitting at lunch.

"Well, I mean that would be pretty inconsiderate if he'd said no. He's a teacher after all." Harry frowned, wondering why it was such a big deal, "But a Boggart? I mean it's such a juvenile thing to want to revisit after everything we've encountered."

"You're still going on about that bloody Boggart? I don't see what the attraction is. I've said it once before, I'll say it again – Potter, you have a sick and twisted mind." Draco interjected.

A snort from behind them caught Harry's attention and he saw the sight of black robes snapping behind a certain man who they had just been talking about. So what if it seemed petty, he wanted to know what his fear might be. There seemed to be a few, he could be afraid of spiders or the forest, it might still be a Dementor or could be something bizarre like brussel sprouts.

"I see someone else agrees with me." Draco smirked, having noted their Head of House had followed him to the hall after their brief chat.

"You think what you want, if either of you want to join me, I'll be in the Defence classroom before Madame Pince's study room this afternoon."

He didn't care what they thought, if they weren't going to join him then it was a bonus and he could spend time with his Professor. _I wonder what he would be afraid of?_ Glancing down the hall, he observed the man who seemed to be taking great care in his serving of lunch. Was Professor Snape even afraid of anything? Of course he was, there had to be something. There was so much to the man he didn't know about and it was little things like this that he was curious about, silly he knew, but with so many layers to the Severus Snape onion, he had to start somewhere.

Finally when his classes were finished, Harry walked into his Defence class and found the man sitting behind his desk with a mountain of marking. It seemed to be a never-ending stream of the stuff but like he'd humored himself before, he deserved it when he gave so much out. And that was how his Professor saw him, smiling stupidly in his direction and hanging onto his bag as if away with the faeries.

"Good afternoon, Potter." Severus said, remaining behind his desk.

"Sir." Harry smiled still as he made his way over, but he wasn't ignorant to act on their developing relationship here, this was for educational purposes.

"Alone? I had assumed at least one of your annoying friends would have joined you."

"They think I'm mad, but Hermione had said it was a good idea the other day." He pouted, frowning at something, but it was fleeting and he turned his attention towards the cabinet in the corner.

"In your own time. I will be marking." Severus dipped his quill and continued in his work.

"Aren't you just a little bit curious?" Harry asked warily, looking over his shoulder as he wandered away.

Severus sighed and took a moment to collect himself before he stood and joined his Slytherin in front of the cabinet. Pulling out his wand, he waved it towards the classroom door and the sound of wood hitting stone as it closed echoed through the room. From there, he put both hands on Harry's shoulders and turned them both so they were facing the mirrored cabinet.

"Naturally. Do you need assistance in casting the spell? Let me remind you how it's – "

"I know what to do." Harry snapped, pulling out his own wand.

A deep chuckle dispelled any impending negative thoughts and Harry realised he had been trying to be funny. Well, it was a little funny but he wasn't doing this because he was just bored and curious, what if he was faced with something outside the school and needed to know what his worst fear was? Okay, so that was an exaggeration but his intentions were resolute. Instead of getting upset over his Professor poking fun at him, he took a small step backwards and felt himself press against the man's front. It was completely inappropriate, especially in the classroom but this was the older Wizard's punishment for being mean to him.

Severus would play the game, he leaned close to Harry's ear and let his hands glide down the teens shoulder blades before daring to lightly skim his sides, "Good, let us begin."

Waving his wand towards the cabinet, the door swung open with a gentle creak. Making sure he was safely behind the teen, he ensured there was enough space between them that he wasn't touching in anyway. This needed to be something Harry discovered on his own without persuasion or temptation, but what he saw coming from the cabinet was not what he'd thought at all. His Slytherin was working through his forest and green spell issues, and after getting a new wand, Severus thought that things were going to start getting better for his student. What emerged, only ever so slightly different to the real thing, was Harry. He looked pale and sick, much like when he'd been admitted to the Infirmary after cutting himself; actually, there was red stains along the sleeves… Did this mean that his student was still afraid of himself? He really lacked any solid trust about his abilities that it was now his greatest fear?

"Harry?"

"This isn't what I expected. A Dementor or some forest type setting… But not this."

"What does it make you feel, to see yourself?"

"Sad." Harry replied, lowering his wand in defeat, "I still fear myself."

"A fear of yourself? Or a fear of making the wrong choices?" Severus asked, prompting Harry to look at him, "You have good instincts, Harry. Yes, some of your decisions as of late have been controversial, but I for one believe that your choices are what have saved you."

"You're talking about Seamus now, aren't you?"

"I am. It is clear to see that you still have doubt around your actions. You need to let that go, what's done, is done. If there had of been any doubt in Minerva's mind that you had crossed a line, then you would have been disciplined as well."

"She wasn't impressed, though."

"She has a school to run, students to take care of, and parents to smooth over. Her job is not to make you feel secure or safe about your decisions. That is _my_ job. As your Head of House, your Professor…" Severus stopped and gave his Slytherin a softer expression to convey a third role but left it unspoken.

In the background, the copy of Harry stood there with a blank look on his drained face and Severus eyed it suspiciously, not liking the expression it wore. It was time to have some fun, to get the Boggart into a ridiculous form and back into the cabinet. He couldn't cast the spell, only Harry could and there were several things he thought might be interesting.

"So, how are you going to get rid of your Boggart?" Standing back behind his student, he made sure they were facing it.

"Make an example of it, something silly and outrageous I guess."

Severus smirked, hiding it behind Harry's head so he couldn't see it in the mirror, "I can almost imagine you in rabbit pajamas." He whispered and saw redness grow along his students neck.

"R-Rabbits?" Harry stuttered, feeling highly embarrassed.

Well, if there was anyone he could do that in front of, it would have been Professor Snape, not that it particularly filled him with joy. Was this going to be a weird thing for the man, seeing him in bunny pajamas? Was that him saying he liked to see him in cute clothing? No, he was thinking about this too much, Professor Snape was a serious man who could do with some love and happiness. _If he wants to see me wearing something different though…_ Harry closed his eyes and imagined himself in different outfits. This could be a test of some sorts, tease him a little and see how far the self control went. He could already feel the man's hands itching to brush against his lower back where they were clasped at his front, so why not have a bit of fun.

" _Ridikulus._ "

Harry bit his lip as he saw the version of himself stumble backwards as clothing changed and colours went various shades of grey and black. He remained quiet, trying to focus on what he was doing, when he heard a small gasp that was barely audible. The raggedy robes were replaced with a grey top and bottoms, which had tiny animated black panther heads on them with one larger one on the front of his tee. But it didn't stop there and he suspected the reaction he had gotten was due to the black rounded ears that sat on the top of his head and the black tail that swished behind his impersonator.

Met with silence, Harry frowned and turned his head to see something strange in his Professor's eyes. He was looking down at him with such a raw intensity it made his legs weak, but they didn't touch. Harry wanted to kiss him, the gaze was so fierce that he began fidgeting under it but he knew they wouldn't be able to do anything here, this was a classroom and there were a couple of portraits that would bear witness to the action.

"What are you doing?"

"A-A panther… just s-showing my appreciation, sir." Stuttering and blushing, Harry looked back to the Boggart with the intention of blasting it back into its cabinet when hands pressed against his hips and drew him back.

"You are a cheeky, insubordinate, little brat." The deep whisper caused a shudder to work through Harry's spine.

"So you keep saying."

"And if it weren't for the fact we are in my classroom, I would be doing something about it." Biting the inside of his cheek, Harry remained quiet, "I suggest you come and see me this evening, sort a few things out."

"But it's not Wednesday."

He thought he was being funny, but Severus's tone grew deeper still as he whispered, "I know."

Unable to stop himself, Harry whimpered and let his head roll back against the man's shoulder as his knees wobbled, fighting to keep standing. His Professor was quite clearly seducing him and it seemed almost impossible to not think about pushing the older Wizard back against the desk and kissing him. He did manage to refrain himself however and took a deep breath, swallowing heavily and immediately feeling the loss of warm hands as they slipped off his hips.

"I suggest you make a move, Potter. Madame Pince will not be kind if you are late." Severus managed to crush his desires for now and speak as though he hadn't been affected, but it was tough.

"Shit." Harry looked at the time and realized it had taken longer than he'd thought.

Moving out of the way and darting to the desk in order to retrieve his bag, he hadn't even thought about making sure the Boggart was locked away. As he went to leave, he looked over at the cabinet and to his Professor, who was standing in front of a wide gravestone, his name clearly etched into the black marble. He should be leaving, he needed to get over to the library, but he was rooted for the moment, wondering why on Merlin's green earth Professor Snape was afraid of a gravestone.

"Potter!"

The growl had him jump and flinch simultaneously, before he met black eyes that seemed to be blazing at him. He didn't believe this was being told off, well he hoped not, considering what had happened mere seconds ago, but he knew his place and that meant not to ask questions and to get the hell out of there.

"See you tonight." He tried for a smile, but he knew it was weak and bolted for the door, letting it semi slam on his way out.

When Severus turned back to his Boggart, he sighed and looked down at his shoes. With a flick of his wand and a muttering of the spell, the grave inflated, changing into a black balloon. He poked it with his wand as it floated towards him and quickly shoved it back into its rightful place, hidden away from the world. It was time to get this thing out of his classroom.

Harry was distracted when he slipped into the study room and carefully sat between his friends as to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Both ignored him for the moment but as Harry opened his books and scoured the right section he needed to read, Hermione was slipping him a note.

 _Well? How did it go?_

He turned the parchment over, not wanting to draw attention to himself at that moment when Madame Pince shot him a scathing glance. She knew he had arrived late, but neither said a word before she wandered away and to the other row of tables. Taking his pencil, he penned her a response.

 _Kitchens. Dinner._

Refusing to acknowledge anything further, he focussed on himself and set to work. Although, it seemed he wouldn't be let off so lightly as his mind raced. Professor Snape knew everything about him, his deepest desires and darkest fears, didn't that mean he was able to get something reciprocal? A large puff exhaled from his nose, _no, Professor Snape still likes to think he can keep things bottled up and to himself_. Hermione was watching him, he could feel it, but he didn't entertain her by looking up, instead he continued to stew, wondering why his Professor was thinking about gravestones and death.

 **. . .**

"Okay, Harry. What's going on?" Hermione was dragging him into the kitchens and pushed him onto a bench.

"Oh, you know me. I see something, and I have to keep investigating and probing until I've either ruined things or wind up in trouble." He replied, and Hermione deadpanned him.

"Go on."

"What do you think it means if someone's Boggart is a gravestone with their name on it?"

"What?" The Ravenclaw gasped, looking horrified, "Harry!"

"No, it's not what you think. Mine was much more straight forward, it was myself."

Hermione sighed and looked unimpressed, but also understanding, "Harry, I really do worry about you. This is why you shouldn't have done it, now you're going to be worrying about why you saw yourself and overthink until your brain hurts."

"Actually, Professor Snape put a lot of it into context. It's not _my_ Boggart that I'm thinking about."

"Ohh." Realization dawned and the curious, inquisitive expression came forward as a whole chicken was placed in front of them, "So, Professor Snape is afraid of his own death? That sounds odd."

"Right? But it was a huge headstone, room enough for another name." Picking up a leg, Harry bit into it before eyeing up the gravy.

"Hmm, perhaps it's not death he's afraid of. He's a more complex man than that, I think. If you say there was enough room for two names, maybe after everything that's happened, he's realizing that he doesn't want to die alone? Remember, the two of you have technically died already, maybe he has something now that he didn't have before. Or, it could just be that he's wanting to find something but afraid he won't get it before it's too late."

Harry paused with his mouth half open, looking at her in horror.

"What?" She shrugged, as if implying what she'd just said didn't mean anything at all, "Well, yes I suppose it's a little morbid when you think about it. I feel sorry for him actually; he _was_ an awful person when we were younger, but now thinking about him like this makes it seem so human and real. I wonder if he'll ever find someone to spend time with outside of school. You know him better than anyone probably, what do you think?"

"I – uh, well – " He didn't even want to think about anyone else experiencing the Professor Snape he'd had a glimpse of, it hurt.

Hermione raised an eyebrow at her friends floundering but refrained from commenting and instead busied herself with dinner. Harry gave himself some time to think in the quiet that strung between them. _He doesn't want to die alone… It sounds so lonely, I don't want him to feel like that. What can I do to make things better?_ This was such foreign territory, with friends it was easy to make them feel better but he was more than just that with his Head of House. He didn't know if it would be acceptable to try something more intimate between them, or to back off, or stay the same and act like he'd never seen his fears.

"He did mention that he wanted a change." Harry finally said, only eluding to the knowledge that their Defence Professor was going to retire, not that he'd already decided.

"Naturally, he isn't bound to the school anymore like he had been."

"Just don't say anything, please?"

Hermione huffed, "Who am I going to tell?"

"That wasn't my point," Grumbling, he stabbed at his potatoes before deciding it was best to change the subject, "What's going on with Draco?"

Going red and looking down at her plate, Harry felt like he'd received his answer, it was clear she felt something for the blonde Slytherin but until she came out and said it he wasn't going to get involved.

"He told me he liked me, rather bluntly, but it was with good intentions… I think." She admitted, and Harry winced.

"And…? How do you feel?"

"Harry, I don't want this to get in between you and I, or even you and Draco."

"That's not what I asked, and you know it."

Hermione _did_ know what Harry was asking, "Fine, yes I like him too but it's complicated. He's good to be friends with, he's intelligent and confident, but there's a lot of unresolved issues between us from years of harassment and bullying. I don't know if I want to get all caught up in that."

"Well, they do say that if a boy likes a girl, he'll throw sand in their face to show their love."

"You're saying that he's liked me all these years but showed it by calling me a Mudblood and mocking my teeth as well as my intelligence?" She sounded doubtful, but the more she spoke, both of them realised the truth behind it, "Damn."

"Yeap." Harry smiled, finally being able to turn the tables on his best friend and make her suffer just a little.

"In any case, I'm not ready for another boyfriend. Especially one that looks like a slick git and oozes appeal."

"You know you're just digging yourself a hole right now, don't you?"

"Then why don't we change the subject to finding _you_ a man." Harry choked on the pumpkin juice, inhaling rather than swallowing, "Just what I thought."

"Hey, leave my non-existent love life out of this. We were talking about _you_!"

"And now we're talking about you." She pointed out, bluntly.

Wishing he could shrink down into the floors cracks and disappear, he hid his head and played around with his food, no longer hungry. The last thing he wanted to talk about was his sexuality, only because he'd come to terms with most of it and was exploring with someone he trusted. He didn't want Hermione finding out, everything would turn to hell and she'd probably never speak to him again if he admitted his true fantasies. He could always hope that things would work out, but he wasn't willing to risk it, not tonight, and especially not because in an hour he would be standing outside his Professor's door. The promise of having intimate time with the older Wizard set his body alight with a fever that he knew wouldn't be cured unless he touched something.

"Actually, going back to Draco. Has he mentioned anything about his animagus? I would have thought that it would be sorted by now."

"Oh, that…" Hermione took a deep breath and pushed her plate away, "He wasn't having issues all this time like he'd told us. He stopped seeing Professor McGonagall weeks ago."

"Okay? So, he's managed it, or what?"

"It took a lot of convincing to tell me, trust me when I emphasize that point. He's still annoyed that I managed to wrangle it out of him."

"Hence the tension?" Harry asked and she nodded.

"He was afraid I'd say something."

"What's the issue? Shouldn't we be celebrating the fact that all three of us are now success Animagi?" Harry was confused, what wasn't she tell him.

"You have to promise me you won't say anything to him, not until he's ready to tell you himself. _Promise!_ "

"Okay, okay. Just tell me what the hell is going on." He was getting short tempered.

"You remember when Professor Moody, regardless of the fact he was an imposter, transfigured Draco into a ferret to make an example out of him in the courtyard?"

Harry laughed, "How can I not, it was brilliant and I can remember Ron and I tea – "

"That wasn't just any transfiguration, that was his form." Hermione cut him off and the silence that followed her statement was only broken by the occassional plate banging by the house elves.

 _Oh_.

Harry felt a little bad now after all those years of constant bullying and harrassment at Draco's expense. He knew straight away that if it had been him in that situation, he wouldn't be so keen to show people either. Feeling incredibly guilty at past actions, he too pushed his plate away and then looked off into the distance, focussing on the small elves running around as they prepared for dessert to be delivered into the hall. He wouldn't say anything to his friend about it, when he was ready, then they could talk but this obviously meant something to him.

"I won't say anything."

"Well, now you know." She replied, her eyes lighting up when she saw the strawberry ice cream.

When it was time to see his Professor, Harry fare welled Hermione, who had a strange twinkle in her eye, but he didn't dwell on it too much and knocked on the wooden door with nervous excitement. As always, the door swung open and he looked wildly around for his Professor, finding him nowhere in sight. Moving forward, he heard noises from the laboratory and with a wry smile, walked over to the door, biting his lip and trying to ignore death.

"Evening, sir." He tried to sound sexy, sultry even.

Severus looked up, feeling an uncomfortable knot in his stomach which was quashed when he laid eyes upon his Slytherin. His hair appeared to be mussed more than usual and the casual manner in which he leant against the doorframe meant he was there for one reason, and one only. The fear of being asked about what happened earlier was gone and he internally chastised himself for having worried over nothing. _Typical teenage hormones, only thinking about one thing_ , he rationalised, raking his eyes over the Slytherin's robes once, before he continued what he was doing. He was happy of course that his youth was setting the prior situation aside for now.

"Good evening, Harry." He responded, keeping his voice levelled.

"What are you doing? Can I help?" Walking into the room, Harry went to his side of the table and brushed their arms together gently as he peered into the cauldron, "What's this?" The liquid appeared clear, almost like Veratiserum.

"A side project, just to pass the time."

"Invention?"

"It is, nothing important." Severus commented, turning off the flame and placing a lid on the concoction before turning to his Slytherin, "Besides, I believe we were getting somewhere this afternoon."

Harry gave him a full megawatt smile and placed his hands-on Severus's biceps as they both leaned toward one another. The moment their lips touched, Harry melted against his Head of House, feeling the stress he'd been holding just disappearing. It was different this time, he couldn't put his finger on it, but there was more confidence coming from the older Wizard and this was proven when a hand brushed against his side and fingers pressed against his lower back, pulling him in.

"Not that I'm complaining," Harry commented, angling his head as his Professor leaned down, "But what happened to waiting?"

Severus paused and pulled his head back, "Because you looked far too adorable in those pajama's."

"Adorable?" Scoffing, Harry went to step away but found that hands held him where he was.

"I'm sure one day we can fashion you a nice tail…" A deep smirk was printed into his face and dark eyes glistened with mischief.

"A t-tail?"

The smirk grew wider as Harry felt himself falling deeper under whatever spell was being used to control his reactions. Though he knew realistically there was no spell, it was simply desire and a willingness to be taken down whatever rabbit hole the man was pushing them towards.

 **. . .**

 _ ***smirks***_


	50. Chapter 50

**.**

 **#ellainaparker:**

 _ **Well, now if I told you, it would ruin the surprise. *evil laugh***_

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **Some interseting thoughts on Severus's Boggart, you're right that he's more than afraid of dying alone, but I'm still working on to what extent. I'm actually having a lot of fun with his character at the moment and you're going to see why in the next chapter.**_

 _ **A dragon would be pretty bad ass, and you actually inspired the planning of a one-shot about this. Watch this space I guess.**_

 **#Heather Hainsworth:**

 _ **Oh, so do I. I really enjoy those ones that become part of your daily routine because they're so long. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Confession: I'd just watched Shrek lol. No, I think you're closer than you think on your thoughts about that.**_

 **. . .**

Severus eyed the hall with utter disgust and contempt. Everything was pissing him off, the noises, laughter, the whole lot. _Utterly repulsive, can they not find a better spot than the table for that?_ He grumbled, sinking into a large mug of coffee, the only thing that would get him through this in one piece. Well, at least Evan had come to visit him, he had the paper but also a piece of parchment in his beak and giving him a hot glare. Blinking at the bird, he narrowed his eyes as a challenge before setting the delivery aside and taking more coffee.

He hadn't had the best sleep last night, a nightmare having plagued his dreams and causing him great pain when waking. The students weren't the only ones to face demons of the war, to relive those devastating moments that couldn't be taken back. He was no exception to recurring memories and night terrors but unlike the students, he had his own rooms where he could suffer through them in solitude. Not that he particularly enjoyed it but knowing he could deal with them without prying eyes was little comfort. Glancing at the piece of folded parchment, he set his mug down and unfolded it. _A note from Harry?_ Immediately his chest filled with warmth as he read the penned note.

 _Fancy a run?_

A run, as if Severus would be caught dead running somewhere that wasn't important. But he knew better, Harry wanted the company of a panther, and who was he to deny such a tempting offer when he was feeling so crap on this fine weekend. He polished off the rest of his coffee, giving his paper back to Evan who could deliver it at a later date and went in search of his favourite wolf. He found him sitting on the usual rock at the edge of Hogwarts' dangerous forest and wandered down the hill, coming to stand beside the grey animal that seemed to be trained on something past the trees. He resisted reaching a hand out to scratch behind the ears, he knew Harry liked that, and instead looked behind them to make sure no one was watching.

"This is a nice change, another race perhaps?" Severus asked, regarding the wolf calmly.

Blue eyes swung round and pinned him with a cheeky glint before leaping off the rock and disappearing into the bush. With a twisted smile, Severus stepped forward and sprung off his feet, landing again as his panther form and chasing down the prey. Yes, Harry had a head start but he knew there would be ground to cover as felled trees provided leverage enough for him to jump ahead. The dirt under his paws massaged black pads and cushioned his leaps down from rocks and branches; his muscles pulling and stretching in pleasant ways as he twisted and weaved around bushes.

Harry was up ahead, running flat tack up the sloped track as they neared the small lake and he admired the athleticism of the younger Wizard. Of course, he only judged that observation on the slender figure of the grey wolf and realized, after a beat, how strange it sounded to think that. But Harry's body, he'd only had brief glimpses at his chest and marvelled at how toned he was, he wondered what other parts looked like too. Growling, he shook his head and sped up, seeing that his internal dreaming had cost him delicate ground and was going to lose the race.

He was tempted to jump on the wolf when he finally made it, but he seemed so relaxed, his head down at the waters edge and lapping at the cool aqua slowly. Jealous that he seemed to be puffing out of breath and his younger wolf wasn't, he attempted to cover it up by pacing back and forward, taking slow and deliberate breaths. As he did this, he glanced around, scouting for anything interesting or dangerous; there weren't any immediate threats to them, so he relaxed and moved towards the water, watching gentle ripples moving away from where Harry's tongue had caused the water to shift.

There was something calming about the quiet in the forest, what had started as rushing and puffing, turned into tranquillity and quiet. Everything so still and undisturbed that he was rather glad Harry had decided today was a good day to enter the forest. He was still surprised that his Slytherin seemed fine, the grey wolf was showing no outward signs of distress but even if he did, they had been through this before and knew exactly how to stop it.

 _I wouldn't mind never going back into the castle_ , he thought, lapping at the water to get a drink. It was just the two of them, neither particularly wanting to be around the people that resided in Hogwarts, this seemed like a win-win scenario. But how ridiculous did it sound, running away with Harry Potter. _Completely idiotic, reckless and poorly thought out_ , he reasoned. His musings were cut short though when he felt a nudge at his neck where Harry was nuzzling against him. Responding to the action, he pushed against the damp nose and turned his head in an attempt to return the affection. He couldn't, not with their odd positioning, but the sentiment was there.

This was different to their normal interactions, well, yes when one starts seducing their student it was going to be different, but it was less about intimacy and more about comfort. Earlier in the week, he may have conceded to his desires in kissing Harry, but things hadn't gone further than that and he certainly hadn't allowed any more since, especially during the mid-week catch up. A niggling feeling at the back of his mind, where the voice in his mind resided, was telling him that perhaps his Slytherin had snuck into his rooms last night and witnessed the terrors he relived but the rational man that sat on his shoulder was tutting at him distastefully. He trusted the teen to be better than that, this just had to be a coincidence and nothing more, Harry may have had his own nightmares that night and was wanting confirmation that things were alright. No, if that were the case, then he wouldn't want to come into the forest, would he?

He could have asked, but in their Animagus forms that was a little difficult and quite frankly the ignorance might have been bliss. Finding out the real reasons for their venture out into the wilderness might just as well burst the bubble he'd developed with the two of them and he didn't want the wolf to stop nuzzling that particular spot… _Yes, oh right there_ , Harry was pressing up against the back of his ear and he felt a pleasurable wave flow through his limbs and into his paws as he relaxed into it. He needed to remember this, that exact spot, just so he could see if the same happened to his Slytherin.

The loss was immediate when Harry moved away, but with a gentle whine he knew things were far from over. He watched as his companion moved away, wondering where he was planning on going and decided to follow when there was a pause and blue eyes glanced back at him. Mentally shrugging, he caught up, keeping his pace slow and purposeful, being led by his younger charge. Whether it be sitting, running or walking, anything seemed better at this moment rather than spending time in the castle and he was glad they'd come out here, pleased to be led further away as the opening turned into an outlook spot. He blinked, quite amazed at the simple beauty being shown to him; the sun shining brightly and reflecting off the black lake, hills across the lake clearly seen and birds flocking to one particular spot. He took in a deep breath and exhaled gently, sensing the wolf looking over at him as he did this.

Severus didn't mind, they could spend the rest of the morning here and he would feel extremely happy about it. But the thought still occurred, why was Harry bringing him here, what was the purpose of their journey today, and what were they going to do now? Part of it was answered, the wolf lowering himself to the grass, his head held up and craned as he looked out over the waters surface. Perhaps they were just here to spend time together and get away from the bustle of school life. As he thought before, this didn't bother him one bit.

Mirroring the action, Severus too lay on the grass, not too far away from his student but apparently not close enough as he heard before feeling the shift and a warm body pressing against his side. _So, he does want comfort_ , he thought, turning his head to see the lowering of grey fur onto the ground. In response, Severus pushed his snout to the top of Harry's head before letting it rest there as they spent time together.

In the castle however, Hermione was wandering the corridors with her newly acquainted friend, Jason Samuels. After a chat with Harry the night before, she wondered if it would be worth introducing them to each other, hence why she was heading towards the Muggle Studies courtyard with him to discuss a delicate matter. Her best friend was gay, well, worse and more shocking things had happened and it didn't bother her one little bit. But she worried for him, he didn't seem to be dealing with it very well and every student should experience some form of wildly misguided romance whilst they attended school. That's why she wanted to tell Jason about Harry, not the personal details, but make it obvious that he should possibly introduce himself.

"So, why are we really here, Hermione? We may not have spoken until this year, but I know you must have some kind of plan if we're meeting _here_ of all places."

"Am I really that obvious?" She frowned and tilted her head in thought before taking up residence on a bench.

"Among other things, what's going on?"

Jason had a nice smile and was ridiculously attractive, Hermione thought, and it was almost criminal that he was known to prefer males. A Hogwart's tragedy in itself, he had really grown into a man over the last year, considering he was nearly killed at the hands of Bellatrix LeStrange. His golden sandy hair almost shone in the sunlight that poured over them in the courtyard and she had to stop herself from sighing happily. She would admit that if he _was_ open to having a girlfriend, she'd be at the front of the line and would fight anyone getting in her way. He had been one of the teens that she had been intending on introducing Harry to earlier in the year when they finally had the preferences chat. It only really occurred to her recently that there was a greater need to introduce them, they were rather good friends now.

"You know my friend, Harry?"

"Harry Potter? The Chosen One and Saviour of the Wizarding World?" Jason replied with an awestruck tone.

"The very same." She tried to keep the sarcasm out of her voice, she hadn't meant to, "He's going through a phase."

"Ah, the plot thickens." His customary smug smirk broadened, but it looked nothing like the creepy one McClaggen used to give her.

"Look, please don't say anything to anyone, he's been through enough already. I thought perhaps you might reach out to him, he says he's sure but until he's spoken to someone who might understand better than I can, I'm not convinced."

"You're a good friend, Hermione, I won't say a word to anyone. I can remember when things were confusing for me too, my cousin caught wind of it and outed me in front of the family. If it weren't for the war, they very well may have disowned me. I can't promise that I'll be subtle, that delicious specimen has been on my radar for a few years now."

"I think the two of you will get on perfectly fine." She beamed and nudged him with her elbow.

"Great, now about your wild mane?" Jason winced, reaching out for a tendril of Hermione's brunette hair and she rolled her eyes in humor.

Back out in the forest, Severus was nearly asleep and he could tell Harry had gone a while ago. The sun shone down on them and created a lovely warm cocoon that seeped through their fur and the longer they lay there, the sleepier a certain panther became. He hadn't wanted to let himself fall asleep, just in case something tried to attack them, but he couldn't help fully resting his eyes now and succumbing to the much needed rest he had missed out on that night. Taking in a deep breath, he caught a long whiff of Harry's scent before his mind shut off and let him rest.

Harry was feeling warm, too warm, and there was something heavy on him. _Oh, that's right_ , when he opened his eyes he could see a black paw from the corner of his eye and a happy whine escaped his throat. This was bliss, absolute paradise and was so glad he'd braved sending the man a message earlier to come here. He rationalised that the more he did things like this, the less anxious he would grow each time he had Care of Magical Creatures or came near the trees. For the most part, it was working and he trusted the man with his care enough to enter the forest in the same headstrong manner he often operated under. Being partially held down by the large black cat was further creating a warmth from within, he felt safe and cherished, his Professor was looking after him and he enjoyed every second of it.

It was clear the man was asleep, heavy limbs stretched out over his hind legs and the head pressing him down into the grass were evidence enough, not to mention the evened breathing. Simple things, that's all it took for him to be satisfied, he didn't need to be making out with the man or constantly thinking about him with less clothing on to feel content like he did in this moment. _Not that kissing Professor Snape isn't pleasant…_ He remembered the buckling of his legs when the man bit down on his bottom lip and nearly fell to the floor. Huffing at the memory of it, he closed his eyes once more, refusing to move one more muscle until he absolutely had to.

Unfortunately, that moment came sooner than he'd have liked it to when he heard the snapping of a branch which seemed too close for comfort. Sliding his head around, he was able to get a better look at what might have been approaching and saw a bush moving in time with the gentle rustling associated with it. His heart started beating a little faster, he was essentially trapped if he didn't wake his Professor up and if they ran into a Centaur, he wasn't sure they'd be completely friendly. He let out a low growl as warning, still unable to see the threat immediately.

The rustling grew stronger and when Harry saw the first leg, he was up like a shot, his body catapulting from the ground with such speed he wondered how he hadn't flown over the edge of the ledge. Ears flattened against the top of his head and he bared his teeth, growling dangerously at the Acromantula rearing up in front of him. It snapped its overgrown pincers at him, lurching for in a faux pass and making a weird hissing sound. They were so screwed if there were more behind that one.

Severus had woken suddenly, drowsy as he was, it was clear that danger lurked and hearing Harry growling from beside him confirmed that immediately. Getting to his feet, he turned himself around just in time to see an Acromantula lunge for him and a grey blur rushing across his vision. He felt the ground collecting him soon after and scrambled to his feet once more, keeping his body low and tense. Harry was whining beside him, struggling to stand and a deathly growl erupted from deep within Severus's chest. His young wolf was hurt and this bastard creature had hurt him, it was going to pay. But, he was a Wizard, not an animal, and there seemed only one logical response to this threat.

Harry was cast into a shadow as the panther changed back into his Professor's human form. The creature started to move towards them once more but it didn't get very far, when the next thing Harry heard was the man blasting it back and into the bushes. Sniffing the air, he tried to catch its scent, and tentatively moved forward to investigate when his route was blocked by his Head of House.

"Stay where you are." Severus instructed, wand still poised and ready to fight once more before he too disappeared through the trees.

Rolling his eyes at the protectiveness, he disobeyed the order and followed the man through, glad to see that the beast was hightailing it away and through the forest. If it was anything like his last encounter with the Acromantula's though, he assumed they would be back and with force. The forest suddenly didn't feel very safe and the warmth he'd been soaking from the sun had disappeared, causing the cold to nip at him, even with fur.

"I see you still can't listen to instructions." Severus glared over at the wounded grey wolf and came closer to inspect the damage, "It was reckless of you to take the hit, Harry."

Harry didn't feel like transforming back when he was being scolded and simply hung his head, ears drooping for full affect. There was an irritated huff at this, his Professor was shaking his head almost comically before picking up his front paw which caused a shot of pain to travel up into his shoulder. Not entirely sure what that meant, but hurting like hell, he figured he must had hurt his arm, possible shoulder as well but they weren't going to know for sure until they got back to the castle.

"I suggest we walk back, and for you that might be better on two legs."

Taking the hint, Harry nodded and with incredible pain, shifted back into his human form, unable to look his Professor in the face. It had been his idea to come in here and to escape from the castle and what good did it do? He was now hurt and possibly going to encounter more bloody spiders before they made it out. He was now aware that it was a pain in his elbow that travelled through to his clavicle, and the reality wasn't a great one. It better not impact Quidditch for the following weekend.

"Come." Severus could see the teen looked upset, possibly a little embarrassed, so he put an arm lightly across the teen's shoulders, careful not to jostle the sore arm.

"I'm sorry, sir. I just thought we could have a break from the castle for a little bit. Typical for me to get hurt though." Harry sighed.

"I do not regret coming out here, you possibly saved me from threatening the other students with violence should they have gotten in my way this morning."

Harry looked up at the man with curiousity, "Did you not sleep well?"

"No." But he wasn't about to admit that he'd had a nightmare, that was too much information at present.

"Guess that makes two of us. I'm glad I could help." Smiling gently, Harry was able to move his arm around to hold onto the man's waist.

"I was going to ask what had prompted a visit into the forest, was there a reason?"

"Not really. I wanted to clear my head, spend some time with you, get away from the drama. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been thinking about what happened during the week, you know, with the Boggart… I didn't want to come in here by myself."

"And if I had not shown up?"

"I would have gone for a fly, maybe." Harry replied, looking up at the man, his cheeks red with embarrassment.

Severus hummed, nodding gently, "We must both be waiting for the end of term then."

"You're still going to retire?" Harry asked freely, knowing there was no one around to hear him.

"Very much so, though details of _what_ I want to do are unclear."

"I know exactly how that feels." Grumbling, Harry winced as he knocked his arm.

"Yes, we need to work on that more. It will take a lot of stress away when you make a decision on where you would like to go."

"You and I both know the only logical thing is to be an Auror."

"Is that your decision?"

Harry kicked a stick, thinking about an appropriate answer. He didn't particularly want to do it, he was sick and tired of chasing down bad Witches and Wizards and he had no real purpose to do so anyway. It just felt like it was him torturing himself further by allowing himself to follow that path. The problem was, there was no alternative that he could think of.

"No, it's not."

Sighing, Severus decided to leave it for now, he didn't want to cause the teen stress after having been attacked earlier on and he still had time to think about what he would do. However, there was still one more matter he wanted to discuss, and as they came closer to the edge of the forest, he stopped them and turned to his Slytherin with a serious expression.

"What?" Harry asked hesitantly, peering back into the forest as if he were expecting an armada of spiders to pop out of nowhere.

"Change of subject. McClaggen's return."

"Two weeks really went fast… Didn't it?" Forgetting about the pain in his shoulder, he looked down at his feet and shuffled them around the dirt.

"Harry, your safety is paramount, I mean that sincerely. Do not make his return a bigger issue than it needs to be."

"I could really do without seeing his ugly face." Harry muttered, earning a snort from his Professor.

"What I want to know, is how you will deal with his return. I'm sure you are aware that there could be some retaliation or words said in regards to his suspension, but if he knows what is good for him he will leave the matter be."

"I don't know what I'd do if I came face to face with him, even thinking about it makes me nervous." Shuddering, he ran a hand across one of his hips, remembering the disgust he'd felt afterwards.

"You should not fear his return." Attempting to sooth Harry, he stepped forward and ran a hand through his brunette hair.

"I'll stick with Draco and Hermione. If anything happens, Draco will be there for support and Hermione will probably punch him, it's kind of her trade mark." He smiled at the fond memories of Draco and Ron being hit by her, "But if anything serious happens I'll come straight to you. I know you'll get some satisfaction in dealing with him and I feel more comfortable telling _you_ if anything happened rather than Professor McGonagall."

Nodding, Severus felt his own anxiety for Harry's safety diminish after hearing the plan, "I do enjoy punishing Gryffindor's." He lamented, drawing a smile from his Slytherin and a quiet laugh.

"I know you so well." Harry responded, but it was said in jovial tones because he knew in reality there was so much to his Professor he still didn't know.

"Indeed. Come, let's get you inside. I believe a trip to see Madame Pomfrey is in order, least I have you walking around injured on my watch." Running his hand through the teen's hair again, he then lightly draped his arm around his shoulders.

Madame Pomfrey was not too impressed to see them in the slightest as she stood in the middle of the corridor, looking at them with hands on hips and lips pursed.

"Potter, what a surprise."

"I thought it was long overdue for a visit." Harry replied, giving her his best innocent smile.

 **. . .**

Whilst Hermione hadn't been impressed either that he'd hurt himself after a full day of being missing in action, she tutted and fussed over him mercilessly at dinner, making sure he was comfortable and well tended. Thankfully, no one had pushed the issue of where he had been, there was suspicion he'd had company where ever he'd been and so decided that after having received medical attention, the matters were dropped. Harry had tried to worm his way into Professor Snape's rooms to study in the afternoon but he had flatly refused to let him in, saying he had other things to be attending to. Well, it wasn't like he was going to be loud or cause any problems, but some space apart was possibly for the best, he needed a clear head to be dealing with Cormac's arrival.

Hence, he found himself sitting in the middle of the room of requirement late afternoon on the Sunday, his mind cleared and his Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook open in front of him. He was working hard on clearing his mind, devoid of any and all emotion as he catalogued how dinner was going to proceed with Cormac back at school. Professor Snape had told him not to make it a big issue and he was attempting to do that by burying all the bad memories of the teen he could burn. Of course, in the process of doing so he also brought back that fateful series of events from that specific day and worked on squashing the anxiety associated with it.

Both hip bones throbbed as an image of Seamus taking him roughly had him opening his eyes wide in an attempt to make the memory go away and he fell backwards, staring up at the ceiling helplessly. What if Cormac came back with a bee in his bonet and was out for revenge? He really wouldn't have that much to lose would he, as supposedly his name was tarnished anyway with the black mark striked against it. Well, he hadn't feared much better had he really, people still parted in the corridors for him, even though he tried to ignore it the best he could and his Slytherin housemates had been surprisingly on side. But it still begged the question, how were things going to play out that evening when he returned?

 _You'd love it for Snape to fuck you._

A shudder caught Harry off guard and he winced, closing his eyes to shut out the negativity, not that it did him any good and he was soon reliving the scene behind his eye lids. So gruff and dirty, Seamus's words and hands clung to his body like the skin of a dead rabbit and he gouged at both eyes, rubbing them harshly to remove the disgusting pictures from his retinas. They'd said it like it was some gross violation that had ever been thought of, Professor Snape being intimate with someone… Or was it just him? Was it Harry they couldn't stand? To be fair, if he looked in the mirror, he wouldn't be all that happy about his appearance. His face still looked washed out and cheeks hollow because he was still quite skinny. The only moderately appealing feature might have been that he was vaguely muscular despite having a thin frame due to malnourishment, but that didn't say anything for his facial features. Guant, came to mind.

 _I bet Snape likes them to kick and scream_.

Both faces felt like they were right up in his space, leering at him and reaching out with both hands, smothering his body and holding him down. Seamus was on top of him, suddenly he was on his back as the Gryffindor straddled his waist and pinned both wrists either side of his head. He was laughing, Cormac could be seen to the side with a smirk, egging the Irishman on. The strong accent was in his ear, warm breath whispering into his ear, taunting, promising that he'd get everything he wanted. He wanted to move, he really did, but something was holding him down and he couldn't kick or strike out with his arms.

 _Pathetic isn't he? So weak… So… Vulnerable._

Panicking, Harry was trying to claw and kick his way out of whatever hold or spell he was under. The body heavy on top of him pushed down and started to crush his chest, restricting his breathing to short pants and desperate gasps. He could hear them laughing at him still, their faces full of mirth and mischief. He didn't want this, he needed to escape and get away from them, this wasn't the way he was going to go, there had been too much for him to deal with for it to end like this. He had at least _some_ dignity and he sure as hell wasn't going to let it go right now.

Feeling the release of pressure on his wrists, he was finally able to lash out, but the pressure on his chest remained where it was. His body writhed on the stone floor, his legs kicking out and trying to buck the pressure off him. He couldn't see Seamus' face now, it was gone, but Cormac was still there and he was yelling at him. Words were being said but nothing coherent for him to understand anything before he felt a light, damp pressure behind his ear and along his neck, and suddenly Cormac and the twisted memory he'd slipped into were gone.

Shivering in the cold, he became very aware that the room he was in was dark. He was on a chilling surface but there was an object on top of him, half across his chest and was vibrating lightly in time with the deep breathing. Whimpering as he came around, he could tell there was a light sheen of sweat across his brow and immediately knew that he'd had a nightmare or intense memory. It had been some time since the last one, and his recent dreams hadn't been all too frightening, a lot of confusion and hypothetical situations, nothing this bad. He dared himself to open his eyes, the vibrations, were in fact, a low murmur of purring and he dared himslf to open his eyes in the darkness. When he did, two big, bright yellow – almost green – eyes were looking back at him.

He was safe.

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **Animal romance delivered.**_


	51. Chapter 51

**.**

 **#ellainaparker:**

 _ **Was it? #NailedIt.**_

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **In case you didn't get my message, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you had a great day filled with amazing things and smutty fanfiction ;)**_

 _ **You know, I'm so glad you said that about Severus… You'll see why now. *smirks***_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **The buttmunch? Omg, that's funny. Sorry darling, but it had to happen really because what's a story without the bad guy?**_

 **#phoenix-rob:**

 _ **I mean… I don't want to give spoilers or anything… But you're correct, haha.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Hmm, the friend is an interesting side character I thought I'd play with because, who doesn't like it when people get in the way of a canon relationship?**_

 **. . .**

 **Authors Note:** _ **So, like we made it to 51 chapters? This is crazy, but thank you to EVERYONE for the support and following. As I've said before, I love hearing what you guys love and hate about the story, and I'm always up for ideas as well.**_

 _ **Enjoy this chapter**_

 _ **xx**_

 _ **. . .**_

Having slept through dinner, due to his meditation come nightmare induced dozing, Professor Snape had helped him to the common room via the kitchens, ensuring he was fed before being sent off to bed. Nothing seemed pleasant to him once the man left his company; the shower had been blasting hot water, and yet he was still cold, filled with a chill that he just couldn't shake. It was hard not to make this a bigger issue than it possibly was when all he could see when he closed his eyes were Gryffindor robes. It was like the house and his history were trying to teach him a lesson, as if it were taunting him with some vicious past.

Draco had been quite supportive, even though no one was still entirely sure what had initially gone on and Harry suspected their Head of House had said something to him about it. Apparently nothing had happened at dinner that had caused a stir, in fact, Draco hadn't even realized the suspended Gryffindor had even stepped foot in the hall until Blaise had passed comment. Now however, he was looking at his brunette friend who had just woken up, after what appeared to have been a rough sleep, rubbing tired green eyes that had a red appearance to them. It was concerning to see this level of dishevel considering things had been going somewhat okay lately, and this wasn't a step in the right direction.

"I'll wait for you, have a shower and we'll get breakfast." Draco said reassuringly, sitting on his bed and packing his school things.

Nodding numbly, Harry had done so and after a better shower than the night prior, he'd felt immensely better. When they were walking to the Great Hall however, his nerves and anxiety kicked in anew and he found himself holding back whatever dry retching or bile was threatening to make itself known. _It's not a big deal, he'll be there, it'll be fine, just relax_. The mantra did nothing for his confidence when he laid eyes on Cormac immediately upon entry to the hall but attempted to keep his face impassive as he followed Draco to their seats.

Possibly one of the only people to have seen through such a mask was Severus and he assessed the situation in front of him as he paused with lips pressed against the lip of his morning coffee. Harry looked like rubbish and he wondered if a calming draught or light dreamless sleep solution should have been administered before the teen had gone to sleep. Well, short of having him sleep on his couch that night, it would have been a little difficult to be discreet, but the thought still remained.

"I suspect there will be some fireworks over the next few days." Minerva commented when she joined him.

"You certainly will not find that Potter is the instigator."

"And you are completely sure about that, Severus?"

"If you saw the look in his eyes last night, then yes. I am completely sure that my student, who was sexually assaulted two weeks ago, will be wanting to put this as far behind him as possible." The bitterness of his comments weren't hidden, he couldn't be bothered sugarcoating it and believed she needed to know how it had affected her ex-Gryffindor.

"Then it must be true." Her responding tone was more subdued, calmer and empathetic as she glanced over at the Slytherins to see, that yes, Harry looked rather worse for wear, "You can be assured McClaggen's detentions assigned between Filch and Hagrid will not be pleasant."

"A small comfort for what happened, but I suppose comfort nonetheless."

"Have you spoken about how he will cope readjusting to McClaggen's presence?"

"We have, briefly." Severus confirmed, opening his paper, "Any issues will be reported to myself, from which I will react in kind."

"Torturing Gryffindor's is not your job, Severus. I hope you remember that."

"If issues arise that require the next chain in command, then you can be assured, you will find me destroying your office door, hauling a Gryffindor behind me." Severus replied with a smirk, imagining just that, finding satisfaction in the destruction of property.

Minerva sighed, it was too early in the morning for this kind of speak, but could not deny she was concerned about the outcome and reintegration of a certain Gryffindor back into her school.

Classes for the day went rather well, all considering, for Harry. However, he had to keep himself in check as he found himself glancing in the Gryffindor's direction every few minutes to make sure nothing was going to happen. In his observations, he noted that Cormac didn't really seem to be paying much attention to the content and was sitting with his housemates looking glum. _Too right he should feel like shit, at least he can move on and deal with a punishment_ , Harry shuddered when memories started to crop up. He shut them out the best he could, but sitting in Arithmancy wasn't something that easily grabbed his attention, all those numbers and equations made his head hurt, especially when he was feeling this drained.

The end of the school day was finally upon them and Harry was about to walk through the door with Draco at his tail when Cormac pushed in front of him, Ron hot on his heels and he found himself recoiling back against the blonde Slytherin. What had appeared to have been a drama free day, was apparently going to end very much the opposite as a dark leer spread across the blondes face and he got into Harry's personal space.

"Don't worry, Potter." He smirked, pushing his face forward further, "I'm not going to do anything whilst your boyfriend is around."

At this, his eyes flicked to Draco who was partially stuck against the wall as Harry unknowingly pinned him there with his back, before stepping away and walking off. Ron shot them both a dirty look before he too left the room. Harry took in a deep breath and stood up straighter, allowing Draco to move freely away from the wall and come to stand beside him, eyes concerned but ready for payback. He wondered if this constituted a visit to his Head of House, let him know what had transpired, because he could tell this might be the beginning of something unsavoury and he was completely over and done with on the drama aspect of his education.

 **. . .**

Nearly falling asleep into his cereal the next morning, Harry cast a glance up to the head table in the hopes he might catch his Professor there. He decided that things needed to be nipped in the bud but this had only been decided last night whilst sitting on the couch with Draco when everyone had gone to sleep. The man was absent however, and he didn't feel his mood improving any, not even as Hermione came to sit in front of him and opened out the paper. He had his back to the Gryffindor table, but whether it was his mind playing tricks, or he was over thinking everything, he could have sworn he'd heard whispering coming from behind. He peered over his shoulder, trying to be subtle, but didn't find anything concerning, not until he caught Cormac's eye again. Turning around hastily, his nerves cracking slowly, he tried to focus on something else.

This happened to be the front cover of the paper, a house that had been torched and was burning brightly in what appeared to be a dark night sky. The title read, _suspicious fires on the rise,_ but he wasn't particularly interested until he started reading the article. Leaning forward, with a light frown, he angled his head better so he could read it without squinting his eyes. What had caught his eye was the location in Britain, the name sounded familiar and when he looked at the photo better, he could have sworn he'd seen it somewhere before.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked, his voice full of disdain.

"Reading, what does it look like?" Harry snapped back, effectively pulling him from the concentration he'd put into the article and stared helplessly into his cereal.

"Horrible isn't it?" Hermione commented; placing the paper aside, the front cover face up beside her, "I know people made questionable decisions during the war but you can't help but feel bad for those that won't be covered for any of this."

"What do you mean?" Harry frowned.

"Well, ex-Death Eaters and suspected followers are being targeted by some vigilante group and they're trying to take out those people. It really could be anyone, from a rogue Death Eater to someone who's trying to play the hero. This was in a Muggle town though this time, so the person mustn't have been a Pureblood. Sad really." She explained, and then became distracted and waving at someone at the Ravenclaw table.

Harry looked to Draco, he too appeared forlorn about the situation and the brunette could only assume he was thinking of his own situation. If what Hermione said was true, then Mrs. Malfoy was in danger of becoming a target, especially since Senior was in Azkaban and their allegiance still rather questionable. Still, the situation just didn't sit well with him and the familiarity of the articles facts had his stomach tightening, knotting uncomfortably and causing his anxiety to grow as the day went on. The feelings certainly didn't get any easier for him during the day and when they got themselves settled for Defence, he was wondering why their Professor wasn't already there waiting for him.

Of course,he should have listened to his gut instinct that morning because he was almost comically unsurprised when the Headmistress walked into their Defence classroom, her heels clacking along the wooden floor as she made her way up to the front of the room. Harry's throat constricted tightly and a knot pierced his stomach violently, causing a heave to erupt his body in preparation for spilling the contents of his stomach onto the floor.

"Attention everyone, please." She gained everyone's attention first, "It appears that Professor Snape is unable to teach at this time; however he has informed me of the content today and assured me you will know what stage you are up to." Minerva looked around at the surprised and blank faces adorning her.

"You will read to begin with, then we will move on to an assignment he would like you to complete." At this, there was a collective groan.

Light chatter filled the room as the students got to work, however two were slower than the rest. Draco frowned down at his book, out of all the years they'd had the man teaching them he had missed only a handful of classes and he knew for a fact two of those had been because of Death Eater meetings. He side-eyed Harry for a moment, and decided he would ask if he knew at all, noting that his friend looked very pale and sick. He couldn't help but wonder if this had something to do with the article his two friends had been talking about at breakfast, he hadn't read it himself but perhaps he should have.

" _Harry, where is he?_ "

" _I don't like this…_ " Harry choked out hoarsely, his organs running low as if they were about to stop working completely, and his mouth salivating in preparation for vomting.

" _What town did it say? Not Cokeworth, I hope?"_ Draco asked, his voice only but a whisper, but sent Harry's heart into a raging and dangerous beat.

" _Yes._ "

At the gentle gasp, his suspicions were confirmed when he saw Draco's worried grey eyes and stared at his friend for a while. There were things he was trying to comprehend, such as where the man was, did he intend on coming to classes at all this week? Was he even on school grounds? Had he gone back to his residence that night and was now lying in the pile of rubble, burnt to a crisp? He really needed to know where the fuck his Professor was because he could feel the anxiety rising within and it was messing with his breathing.

" _Let's just be calm about this, he would have been here last night. I assume Professor McGonagall would have allowed hi –_ "

"Mr. Malfoy, that is not silent reading, please focus on your own work." Minerva pursed her lips and gave both Slytherin's a no nonsense expression before she shifted her attention to Harry in particular.

His demeanor did not present itself positively and when he noticed the inquisition he promptly looked away and down at his book. The news was obviously difficult to comprehend and she knew Severus had not informed his Slytherin about the disappearance for today. Not that he needed to mind, but she supposed it was out of courtesy given their precarious position with each other. This was rather unfortunate timing in her opinion for Harry, he was experiencing an integration issue with a Gryffindor and with Severus not on school grounds she idly wondered how things would proceed as she did not know precisely what the plan had been in case of a situation.

When Harry looked back up at her, obviously to check and see if she was still watching them, she hardened her gaze immediately, and the perceptive student he was, continued on with his work.

 **. . .**

Severus tensed his shoulders and buried both hands deep into his pockets to stave off the cold. The early morning smog filled his lungs from the hundreds of chimneys lining Cokeworth's streets. Standing in one of the more familiar streets, Spinners End, he watched as embers were still being extinguished by local fire crews but saw the slightly concealed wand from one who happened to be a Wizard. His house was no more than a partial shell, one wall still standing which had connected with the neighboring property. It was certainly the work of a Witch or Wizard, who had decided to take a torch to his house. Each house was connected in long lines of four to five, and the immediate connecting house was untouched. Even the bricks hadn't been spared and he knew without having to look closely that it had been _Fiendfyre_ , that had set everything a blaze.

Sniffing due to the chilly air, he buried his nose into the thick scarf he'd wrapped around his neck and soon found himself in the unpleasant company of a representative of the Ministry. _Bless Minerva and her influence_ , he thought bitterly, not addressing the man standing beside him.

"Mr. Snape, a pleasure to meet you considering the unfortunate circumstances." The man was dressed in a charcoal black suit, mostly Wizarding attire if it weren't for the Muggle jacket.

"Minerva's contact I assume." He replied, reluctantly taking his hand out of the warmth to shake the others'.

"Yes, she was very concerned when this happened. I will be setting up an investigation to support your case with insurance."

"Unless you were born in the last shower, which knowing Minerva you likely have not," He half glared in the younger Wizard's direction, "You will remember clearly that _associates_ of a certain _Dark_ Wizard are null and void for insurance schemes." _Only if you were the wealthy, that one could afford such luxury_ , he continued silently.

"I am aware, Mr. Snape."

"You will also be aware by now that there are no _Muggle_ insurance policies taken out against this property."

"I am also party to this information, but there may be a way we can help you. If you have time tomorrow, we could chat more openly about the circumstances." Producing a business card, Severus grumbled internally and withdraw his hand once more.

"Where will you be residing for the mean time?"

"Falmouth, Cornwell. I have an associate friend there." He replied, thanking Narcissa immensely for housing him.

Whilst he regretted putting Minerva in such a position at short notice he really had no choice. His desire to be far away from Hogwarts was not a coincidence, he knew only too well that should he return there would be a certain student trying to worm his way into the fold. This was nothing for the teen to worry about, Harry had other things to focus on, regardless of the fact he knew his Slytherin would worry incessantly until he arrived back.

With black eyes surveying the pathetic excuse for real estate, he slipped under the cordon tape noting that the fire department were starting to wrap up their services. Standing where the front door would have been, he was able to get a closer look to see if anything survived and was unsurprised when nothing but black ash met his eye. Water dripped from the remains of the frame, hitting his coat with a soft patter and shards of glass crunched under his shoes. What once stood as his living area, lined floor to ceiling with shelves that housed his thousands of books, was now reduced to a sludge that he stepped on. There was no point in standing there any longer, he had seen all he needed to, but as he turned around he could see the gaggle of rubberneckers standing across the path from him, he recognized two as the old bats that had watched him grow up and the trouble they put him through. He could hear their idle chatter, it was nothing of consequence until he heard a louder voice amongst them.

"Oh, that poor man looks like young Severus." One woman commented, her washed out pink dressing gown wrapped around her tightly.

"Mable, you're right. I wonder if that _is_ him."

Life had not been kind to Severus in this town, the only happy memories he had were filled with Lily Potter. They would spend hours frolicking around in the open fields that were a half hour walk away in the outskirts where she lived. Cokeworth was only a large town because of the factory, a factory that was still running to this day but at a slower capacity than it used to. It was still a wonder why people lived there, it was a working Muggle town that relied heavily on the manufacturing, which when he walked out onto the street he could see the towering chimney that puffed black smoke into the early morning air. It was a depressing town, grimy and dirty, with a river that ran through the center of it with chemical waste derived purely from the factory.

"It's a shame what happened to Eileen, she was such a beautiful woman."

"What ever happened to Tobias, I wonder."

Stepping into the next street over to avoid the voices, he wandered back to the apparation point the Ministry had set up, which was across the town. He had no desire to come back here now, the land where the house once sat would be the only thing worth trying to sell off but even then, it would not fetch a decent price. There was nothing he could do until he met with the tool who worked at the Ministry in the following day, so took his time ambling through the familiar streets towards his destination.

By the time he'd made it to the open grassland, he took a detour knowing that he would never set eyes on the one place that changed his life forever. The tall oak tree stood bald in the winter months but towered above everything on the hill that overlooked the town. He had many fond memories of his time here, first by just being able to get away from his house but the second and best, were with his best friend.

As he approached the hill, he heard the echo of girlish laughter that sent a shiver down his spine. The tree was decayed and dying but it held its' own, even after all these years. Melancholy as it was, when Severus rotated back towards Cokeworth he felt at peace coming back to where the happy memories were. This was soon replaced by something he couldn't quite determine, an emotion that bubbled away in his chest and caused a tingle to develop below his left peck. A deep feeling, one of pain and sorrow mixed with another. It wasn't something he understood what to do with and took a seat on a large tree trunk that had been felled years ago.

It reminded him of the day he and Lily were split into differing houses, an ache that just would _not_ go away. Even when he saw her in class or both of them meandering through the corridors with their books in hand. It was loneliness, sadness… A non-physical entity that crippled him; reminding him of the nights he cried himself to sleep under the constant yelling of his parents.

As he sat there, the wind wrapping around and past him, flicking loose strands of his hair as it went, he was reminded of a stark and cruel truth that he had lost everything he loved and owned because of no one's fault but his own. He felt so alone and cold, but not because of a subzero wind chill; this was all internal. He didn't want to be alone anymore, it was too much. Well, he didn't have to be any longer did he? There was someone much younger and cheekier that had wormed his way into the fold and caused strong but damaged internal walls to disintegrate right before his eyes.

Where was Harry now? He was at school, in classes… _In Defence_ , he determined with a quick checking of the time. He hadn't completely forgotten about the teen in his haste to leave the school and if Harry were to do what he thought might in his absence, there would be something waiting for him to hopefully stave off the cold and uninviting feelings associated with his lack of attendance teaching.

 **. . .**

By dinner, nothing had changed and Harry was exhausted at the worry he'd been subjecting himself to for the day. He couldn't ever remember being able to cope this badly, even when he was really sick at the start of the year and knew it spoke volumes about his recovery. _Professor Snape will probably be upset if he comes back and I've relapsed. I shouldn't let this get to me, but how can I relax when he isn't physically in the castle… What if something happens and I freak out? What if Cormac decides to do something?_ He knew these thoughts were psyching himself out of a good nights sleep but he couldn't help it, they just kept coming and the voices were telling him nothing better.

"Hi Jason." Hermione beamed at her Ravenclaw friend as he sat beside her and in front of Draco and Harry.

"How cozy." The blonde muttered bitterly, wondering when the hell Slytherin became a place for sorry souls from other houses.

"This is my friend Jason, you obviously recognize him." The Witch continued when she was given half glares by the two Slytherins.

"It's nice to properly meet the two of you. Hello Harry." The golden haired Ravenclaw smiled.

"Aren't you a Beater for the Ravenclaw team?" Harry narrowed his eyes, his worry forgotten for now.

Letting his cheeks blush, Jason nodded.

"And I recall countless occasions where you've tried to kill us by aiming a bludger at our heads." Draco sat up straighter, his mouth set in a hard line, which made Hermione wonder if she'd done the right thing by introducing them.

Jason grew a coy smirk, "Well, what can I say? When I see something delicious, I'll always try and hit it." He added a wink at the end and Hermione choked on her pumpkin juice whilst Draco spluttered and Harry's mouth dropped wide open.

Harry knew immediately what this was, his best friend was trying to set him up with this Ravenclaw. His first reaction was that of anger, _how dare she try and do this_ , but on the other hand he technically wasn't in a relationship and wouldn't be until the end of the year. He shot her a dangerous glare, showing her that he knew what she was up to, but with a wry smile she shrugged him off. All things considered, he wasn't a bad looking guy and he found himself trying to be subtle in an extra glance here and there at the Ravenclaw, seeing what it was, if anything, that he found he liked. What was it about Professor Snape that he liked?

After the declaration from Jason earlier in the meal, Draco and Harry remained as quiet as they possibly could until they could safely escape the awkward situation. The blonde had _many_ questions but the first and most important one was working out where his Godfather had gone, this was very unusual behaviour and if what the papers wrote were correct, then he was worried about what this could mean for him. Excusing themselves away from prying eyes, they took the long way down towards the Dungeons, surprisingly it was Draco who suggested it and Harry had to agree he needed some time to process what was happening.

"So, the papers said Cokeworth? I can tell you with confidence that Professor Snape has a house there, his parents old place to be exact. He usually doesn't spend too much time there, as you will remember he was with us at Christmas." Draco commented.

"Being a Muggle village, there isn't really room for error in assuming that it was his house. Considering he isn't here to teach…" Harry replied.

"We can more than assume. I hope he's okay, I might owl mother and see if she knows anything."

"I might go and see if he's here tonight." Harry was balling both fists in his pockets, his body reacting in ways he wasn't conscious of.

"You think that's wise? You and I both know he's a very private person, do you want to be a burden?"

Draco really had no idea about his relationship with Professor Snape did he? It was rather comforting to know this actually, it meant that he wouldn't suspect foul play in a platonic situation, but he needed to say something now and what would he do? The worst that could happen was that he was there and refused to see him, or he wasn't there and he'd be back on his merry way to the common room. It was time to lie and hope it didn't bite him in the ass.

"Of course I don't want to be a burden…" Shifting his gaze to the floor as they walked, he shrugged and verbally conceded that he would stay away even though he had no such intentions of doing so.

"Look, Harry," Draco stopped them and looked both ways down the corridor, "I know you're close with him, too close than anyone's ever been with a teacher, if you're friends of whatever… It's great that he's letting you in but he's still Severus Snape and he values that privacy. If he's told you differently, then I'll take my concerns back."

Harry's blood began to run cold, perhaps he did know something but was too embarrassed to say anything?

"You're right." It just didn't feel right to say this, he wanted to give the man comfort too, that was how things worked between them… He hoped.

"Besides, he'll be back before we know it. All snarky and stiff when he realizes that the Headmistress assigned homework when we should have been doing practical elements." Draco tried to lighten the mood between them.

Harry snorted, "I don't particularly fancy Professor McGonagall entering my mind thank you."

"Eh?"

"How do you think Professor Snape is going to grade us on mental shields?" Wearing an obvious and blunt expression, realization dawned on Draco's face and he blushed terribly.

Quietly chuckling to himself, Harry knew that there was nothing he could really hide from his Head of House when it came to Legillimency, they'd really been there and done that, and his recent feelings were mutual. But it did pose a good question, did people have various shields for different people, or was it just one fits all? The shield he'd been planning for his Professor wasn't something he'd necessarily show the Headmistress, and in turn, he would have used something different again for Professor Dumbledore. _I wonder if Hermione knows…_ He was tempted to go back and ask, his direction pausing for a moment and Draco stopped after a few more steps.

"What is it?"

"I just thought of something for Defence and was wondering if I should go back and ask Hermione or sneak into the library later."

"And get cornered by Samuels?"

Visually cringing, Harry shook his head, "Perhaps not."

Draco side eyed Harry for a moment, something in the back of his mind working away but not sure if he should broach the question or leave it be. It wasn't that he felt threatened, far from it, but they were friends and friends told each other things, didn't they? With his housemate in particular, they shared more between each other from their past experiences that made them practically old friends. But no, he figured he could ask Hermione about it later, surely, she would know what was going on.

The common room was quiet when they finally made it, but Harry went straight to their dormitory, rummaging around in his bag for a notebook, inkpot and quill with the intention of hitting the library. He still had a little bit of time before Madame Pince shut the doors since he didn't have his invisibility cloak to sneak in after hours. Draco was watching him with narrowed eyes, but he was confident in his conviction about telling his friend about the library.

"Just don't get caught." Was the sniffed response before Draco grabbed his towel and leaving the room.

"I won't." _Because I'm not going to the library at all._

Once he was standing outside Professor Snape's rooms, he hesitated when going for the door. Did he knock or just go on in? _What was the purpose of being here again?_ Right, seeing if he was there, so knocking it was. He wasn't entirely sure what he'd say if it turned out the man was in fact there but he _was_ genuinely concerned about his well being and safety. So, after taking a deep breath, he knocked and the door opened as it always did. With cautious steps, he went inside and quietly shut the door behind him, pushing it with his back and surveying his surroundings. It was dimly lit, but he could tell that no one was here, if the older Wizard had been there, then the fire would be lit and more light brightening the room. Professor Snape was certainly not here and he was fairly certain that meant he wasn't on school grounds either.

"Sir?" It didn't hurt to call out, he could have been in bed after all.

No answer came and he braved it by taking himself further into the room. It felt odd to be here without his Professor present and an emotion started to develop in his chest; it was loneliness. Professor Snape was such an integral part of his life now, he hadn't thought about it before, but he supposed not thinking of the inevitable of going separate ways was something he really needed to be thinking about. The only problem was, he couldn't see himself without the older Wizard when he graduated at the end of the year. When thinking about Hermione moving in with him to Grimmauld place, he had also just assumed that he would see the man there too, buried in the back of his sub conscience, it was there and only making itself known now.

There was something laid out on the coffee table that caught his eye, a letter, a newspaper and… his invisibility cloak? He hurried around the couch and sat down in front of the items, seeing that the letter was addressed to him, why would it have his name on it? _He must have known I'd come here looking for him…_ The idea didn't particularly sit well with his anxiety and he reached out for the letter, his hand shaking with adrenaline. Underneath the letter was the paper, with the front cover replaying over and over as the house was engulfed in flames.

 _Harry, if you have not already been investigating my disappearance, you will find the answers written on the front of Monday's newspaper. I do not know how long I will be, or when I will return to Hogwarts but I need you to remember that I am safe, staying in a secure location and with an individual I trust. This has not come at opportune timing, something I wish could be amended._

Harry felt sick, this was the situation being confirmed, Professor Snape had lost his house, it was gone, a pile of soot and ash. He didn't know how long he was going to be, did that mean there were other issues pertaining to this fire that required him not to be at school whilst they happened? No, Hermione had said something about insurance and associates of Voldemort, exonerated or not, having issues with payments. The letter wasn't done just yet though, and when he looked at the next paragraph, there was a thick line on the first word along with an ink blot, which appeared to have been made like his Professor was hesitating at the addition. His writing never had errors like this.

 _Please stay strong. This will be a trying time for us both, each with different reasons. There will be people watching you, Harry, to see how you cope in my absence, I am sure you know who I mean. Focus on yourself, your studies, and I will return quicker than you realize. Should you need shelter, here is your invisibility cloak and you may seek refuge here, within reason. Thinking of you. Severus._

Whilst it was only a courtesy letter, one left in haste apparently, it almost felt like goodbye. No, he couldn't think like that, Professor Snape wouldn't just up and leave, and he was right, there were going to be people watching him closely. Certainly, Draco had picked up on things, not everything, but some. Then there was Hermione, she would be observing him too and he could really do without the interrogations whilst his Head of House wasn't here. But the biggest concern, was the Headmistress, he already knew she didn't approve of their close friendship way before it turned into a more intimate relationship, and her offer of a chat showed more than just caring. It was curiosity, a chance to probe and ask the questions she'd been simmering over for months after her vocal displeasure at him sleeping on the couch.

 _This will be a trying time for us both_.

He was re-reading the letter, trying to see if there was anything else that may not have appeared obvious to begin with. No, it _wasn't_ opportune timing, in fact, it was possibly the worst timing in a long string of unfortunate events that had happened to him this year alone. Cormac was back and making threats, no one but Draco knew of this and he didn't particularly want to speak with Professor McGonagall about it because she might ask questions. No, what he needed to do was keep his head down and mind straight. Focus on the important elements and wait it out until Professor Snape got back. It didn't help his anxiety was being fueled by adrenaline and the nausea wasn't going away, getting as far as making his head spin. The cloak would definitely be useful in this time, he could disappear for a while and look after himself.

 _Thinking of you._

Was he though? Well, he'd left this note when he was obviously in haste to leave and deal with his own personal issues. That was nice of him really, wasn't it? He allowed the smile to pull at his lips, imagining Professor Snape bent over his table and scribbling down the note as he was rugged up in his winter coat. It caused a pain, almost a pulling, in his heart to think of that and knew he had it bad for his Head of House, there were strong feelings about the man, ones that ran deep. Eyes welled with tears and his bottom lip wobbled, thinking about the older Wizard like this was hurting him emotionally, he just wanted Professor Snape to be back here.

Sniffing, a couple of droplets fell from his eyes as he turned around and grabbed the black blanket off the back of the couch, draping it around his shoulder protectively. Burying his nose into the folds, he caught the scent of his Professor and felt himself falling further into despair over the man's absence. What was he going to do about all this? Who was responsible for hurting his Professor? Why was this all happening at once?

 _ **. . .**_

 _ **Oops… *grins***_


	52. Chapter 52

**.**

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Oh, dear darling… Someone isn't happy with me are they? I can't deal with how adorable you are XD xx**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **You got it! But damn, I must be getting predictable - *makes a means to change that***_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **Ha, so what you're saying is that it was an amazing plot twist even though Severus lost everything? Yeah, I can live with that. That's a good question about Cormac though… How far is too far? I'm not quite sure yet. And what is going to happen when Severus gets back to Hogwarts? He's lost everything… What does that mean for the end of year plans? *thoughtfully smirking***_

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **Afraid not, sorry. Hmm, anxiety over Cormac? Interesting, I might have to keep that in mind *grin* That's a shame about your birthday, tell you what… Give me a prompt (anything), and I'll see about writing a one-shot JUST for you. xx**_

 **. . .**

Severus begrudgingly navigated his way through the corridors of the Ministry after been pointed in the right direction with Shacklebolt, thankfully, assigning him an escort to find the right office. It was a nice enough lady, petite and well spoken, but he could tell she was attempting to hide her bristle at their proximity. He was no stranger to this, the judgement and scorn that came along with his precarious position but really, people needed to get over the history and deal with facts of the present day.

 _Exoneration_. What a joke.

The journey did not take long and he was finally fare-welled rather suddenly when they reached the correct door. The area was high in traffic, and another lady, older and frail, was crying in the doorway to another lawyers office, she obviously hadn't received an good news if this were the case. Focusing on his own task, he knocked on the door and was granted entry quickly.

"Good morning, Mr. Snape. I hope you found my office well enough."

"I did." Severus looked around with disdain at the disheveled room, wondering how this man was able to be any form of lawyer.

"Shall we get straight into it then? Please, take a seat."

Gingerly sitting down, he was promptly offered tea to which he accepted only due to the fact his body still felt internally cold, as if he had a chill that couldn't be shaken. To be fair in the situation, the sleep he'd had was broken and disjointed; dreams plaguing a restful sleep. Narcissa had at least offered a tonic to perk him up before the meeting but it still did nothing to the empty bitterness he felt towards it all. It felt like his life and possessions were being bargained over, left to hang out in front of him in a teasing manner, to embarrass him and show that he didn't belong in this life. Demeaning and humiliating is how it really felt, so sipped his tea carefully, keeping all thoughts to himself for the time being.

"I have been doing some investigations. As you might have read in the Daily Prophet, over the past few months there has been an increase in Dark Wizard incidents. Whilst most are robberies and beatings, there has been a string of Fiendfyre _accidents_ that seemed too suspicious to be only a coincidence. There are four official reported cases of this, stretching as far as Russia."

Severus had a sinking feeling he knew why these were the case and it must have come across on his face as the man in front of him nodded gravely.

"Yes, Mr. Snape. Unfortunately – and I have no prejudice – your association with a particular Dark Wizard and Albus Dumbledore have possibly led you as a target. An associate who is in the Auror Department said they have eyes on a suspect that could be responsible for these attacks. He was null in producing a name but may be of use in your quest for reimbursement."

"And you believe that I am in for a big pay out should the bank deem my association with the Dark Lord inconsequential?" Unable to keep a level of sarcasm out of his voice, Severus remained as stone faced as he could.

"It's always worth a shot, Mr. Snape."

Severus's eye twitched at the title but he said no more as the man continued to prattle on about other evidence he found along the way. He was relieved also to hear his safe that had been buried deep within the concrete foundations had been retrieved by the Goblins at Gringotts. He couldn't even remember what he had put into the safe now, it had been over a decade since it had been opened but being a Wizarding safe and not Muggle it was likely the assailant was unable to pry it off the land or simply did not know it was there. It certainly seemed that a robbery was not the case and was a rogue Death Eater trying to claim retribution for the precarious position he'd put himself into by being on side with Albus.

"Thank you for your time, I will pass on my gratitude to Minerva also."

"It was really no troubles, the Witch or Wizard responsible for this must come to heel and justice be dealt."

The associate kindly escorted Severus through the Ministry after this and bid him a final farewell at the corridor of flues. Wasting no time in putting as much distance between that place as he could, he used the network to head into Diagon Alley where he could organize his affairs at Gringotts. Stepping into the Leaky Cauldron pub, he debated on whether to enjoy a strong beverage before his undoubtedly tiresome and stressful encounter with the Wizarding bank tellers. He didn't have time for them when he was in a good mood, so he would most certainly be wearing thin on his patience by the end of his meeting.

Upon entry he was greeted by the head Goblin, Griphook's much older brother, who quickly escorted him around the side and out of sight. They walked in silence down a long and windy corridor until they came to an office that had, _Chief of Staff_ and _Bank Manager_ , stamped in a bronze name plate. Sitting stiffly in the offered chair, Severus looked upon the Goblin warily though his expression remained impassive as the short creature waddled up the short stairs and into his chair, locating some papers as he went.

"Severus Tobias Snape, you are here for matters relating to your estate and possessions? Please provide your key." The deep scratchy voice instructed and he did so in silence.

"Thank you, Mr. Snape." Taking the key and examining it, he passed it back, "According to our records, your estate in the trust of Tobias and Eileen Snape, was subject to an attack of which details have not been released."

"Correct."

"Mr. Snape, on this evening several items of value were collected from a safe installed by the British Wizarding company operating under Gringott's instruction. These items have been relocated and reside within your personal vaults here at Gringotts." The Goblin leaned forward and offered Severus a roll of parchment, which he, again, half stood to retrieve.

"There, is a list of all items taken and accounted for, please read carefully and inform us if anything appears to be missing. As main proprietor of the estate, we are bound to enforce your requests to release these items into your possession."

Unrolling the parchment that had a royal blue wax seal of the bank, he scrolled down the contents, trying to recall anything that could potentially be missing but upon reading the items he saw nothing of true value anyway. He'd only had the safe installed so that if anything happened as spy, he could lock away key items that would show his loyalty to the light, hiding them away from Death Eaters and the Dark Lord. There were also personal items, special school trinkets and photos that he'd wanted to hold safe, but none of it really mattered anymore. There were items on here that he hadn't remembered even owning, but if they were on the list, then he obviously had used or seen them at some point.

"Nothing appears to be missing."

"Very well," The creature scribbled down on a piece of parchment with his quill before looking back up.

"Hold on, _main_ proprietor?" Severus frowned, looking up at the Goblin, "This trust was passed on by my parents at their death. Should I not be _sole_ proprietor?"

"Soon before the passing of Eileen Snape, she had instructed that in the event something should happen to her only child, Severus Tobias Snape, the estate be passed on to the only remaining family. As such, the estate shareholders are named as follows: _Severus Tobias Snape – Main proprietor, holding ninety eight percent shares. Charles Albert Prince_ _– Secondary Proprietor, holding one percent shares. Amelia Mable Prince – Secondary Proprietor to Charles Albert Prince, holding one percent shares._ "

Severus's eyes widened as he sat there listening to the babbling Goblin reciting the names. He had heard of a Charles and Amelia Prince once before but with his mother being so estranged from her family he'd never even thought about anything further than having parents. To hear their names now, seemed abstract and new worldly.

"They have also been made aware of the incident to this estate." Nodding numbly, Severus paled and his brain became void of all thoughts as he took this information in his stride.

"Moving on to monetary matters relating to the estate. You are aware that due to underlying circumstances of allegiances, an investigation must be held into the suspicious nature pertaining the destruction of the estate. Therefore, until such investigations have concluded, the bank are under no obligations to provide a monetary payout for insurance. I am sure you understand this process."

Severus's eye twitched more and more as the conversation continued but he kept his mouth shut for now, thinking that perhaps an entire bottle of brandy would be more acceptable as a nightcap.

"I do." Severus replied through gritted teeth.

"Then that concludes today's business unless there is something else you wish to discuss?"

"No, that is all. I will, however, stop by my vault to collect these items you mentioned." Severus stood, pocketing the roll of parchment he'd been given.

"Very well."

After more paperwork, mainly for records sake, Severus found himself following at a snails pace behind the grumbling Goblin until they reached his vault which was a five minute ride away and even more walking. Once it was opened and the key returned to his hand, he walked in and took a moment to look at the depressing contents. He had meager savings, at best, certainly not enough to purchase a new home without the aid of insurance and added to the insult of what his life had become. There was a box in the closest corner that didn't look familiar and went over to it, assuming correctly that it had been the items found at his house. He didn't bother looking through it at the moment but spied a small jewelry box that he decided could stay safely in his vault for now, knowing exactly what was inside. Pocketing a few more galleons on his way out, he waited for the creature to lock it up again and escort him to the cart. Placing the box of items beside him, he held it tightly, casually casting his eye over a few things as they raced back to the main level of the bank.

"A pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Snape." The Goblin nodded as he departed.

The sun was shining in the alley when he stepped outside, completely the opposite of how he felt internally as his eyes cast over to the Quidditch suppliers store in front of him. He still hadn't digested the fact his grandparents were on the estates trust, it sat like lead in his abdomen to think that, after all those years of not contacting his mother before she passed away, she had thought something would likely happen to him in the war. Well, it was quite possible as she was a very gifted Seer, but it made him wonder what else she knew about him, if she had been closely following the events in the papers. _If something were to happen_ , the scratchy creatures voice echoed in his mind. After all these years, orphaning _himself_ and putting the past behind him, it all had to come out now? Yes, that bottle of brandy was looking very appealing to him.

 **. . .**

Harry sat in Defence, staring intently at the Headmistress, as she theorized with them through the basics of Occlumency. In a normal world, he would have been listening to Professor Snape's deep and sultry voice analyzing and artfully describing the various theories on the discipline. But, this was not a normal or even remotely perfect world, so there he sat, feeling miserable and feigning his interest. _There will be people watching you, to see how you cope in my absence_. The note was safely tucked in his pocket, almost burning a hole, itching to read the almost illegible scrawl from his Head of House. He couldn't let Professor McGonagall, or anyone, know that he was fighting an internal battle about the man's disappearance, and he thought so far he was doing a good job. He just kept his head down, focused on his work and then went to the next class. Easy. Like clockwork. Well, it should have been if it weren't for the fact he couldn't concentrate and had learned nothing the entire day so far.

Instead, he was running through the inner workings of Fiendfyre from what he already knew, which wasn't much. He was going to require visiting the library after classes today instead of being at his study class with his friends, they didn't even need to know what he was doing, technically it was still study, even if it wasn't topics in the curriculum. Dark magic be damned, he was going to figure things out, even if by himself.

"… skilled Legilimens caster is able to read the minds of others in a straight forward manner, that – Yes, Potter?"

"The mind is not an open book to be read at will and examined leisurely. It's complicated, with many layers that make it difficult to see clearly." Harry drawled, propping his chin up with an elbow on the table.

Minerva simply blinked at her student, "Is that so, Potter? And where did you read such information?"

Harry snorted, "The book of Professor Severus Snape. You should check it out one day when you're next on the receiving end of a mind attack. They're rather pleasant really, I'm sure he'd be happy to demonstrate."

Minerva had forgotten that part of Harry's education, it had been a particularly rough fifth year for him and she should have been more read up on this subject. She would openly admit that it was not a strength to delve into mind magic but that didn't excuse the rather blunt and rude response she'd gotten. Outwardly, she had been impressed by his adaption with Severus being away, but perhaps it was just a front and this was his way of acting out to feel something.

"Potter, your answer could have done without the rudeness. Please remove yourself from the classroom and report to my office this evening."

Even Harry was surprised at her response, but he did what she was told and started packing his bag, listening as the Headmistress went back to what she was talking about. Draco watched his friend carefully, shocked that he'd shown such disrespect, and wanting to fix the situation but knowing he couldn't. Harry hadn't acted so crudely towards a Professor this year, usually remaining silent, preferring to enter his own mind much like he did when he was bored. When the teen stood and left, he watched the door close with a bang as it was slammed shut and flinched at the sound. What was going on with him?

Harry on the other hand was rather pleased to be out of class, noting that house points hadn't been taken and shrugged his bag onto both shoulders. He had intended on using the library in the evening, but since he had time now and detention later on, he could go now and settle himself for the afternoon. Madame Pince narrowed her eyes at him as he walked in, she knew he should have been in class but at least he had a good reason not to be there. Smirking gently, his eyes growing dark, he headed towards the restricted section and ducked around a corner where the Witch could not see him. Invisibility cloak stashed in his bag, he pulled it out and slipped it on before gently prying the door open to the restricted area. He wasn't going to find anything on Fiendfyre outside of this space, so set to work on his research.

When class was dismissed, Hermione quickly grabbed Draco and pulled him from the classroom so they could talk.

"What in Merlin's name happened to him?" She asked, her voice no more than a hiss.

"I don't know, he seemed fine before."

"That's what I'm concerned about, he looks fine, but he clearly isn't. I haven't seen that level of revolt since Umbridge." She refused to use any form of honorific with that toad of a woman, not after what she did, "Did he have an off sleep or an argument with someone yesterday?"

"No, but _someone_ is missing." Draco whispered his response just as Cormac and Ron exited the classroom, both looking far too pleased with themselves.

"Malfoy, why don't you go and find your boyfriend and calm him down."

"Why don't you watch your mouth, McClaggen!" Draco bit back, feeling his hackles rising.

"Just ignore them, they aren't worth it." Hermione suggested, linking her arm with his with the intention of walking away.

"Well, isn't this interesting, Ron. Looks like Granger and Malfoy have a thing for one another. I wonder how Potter would feel about that? His best friend and boyfriend conspiring against him."

Ron made a retching sound, "They're probably _all_ together."

" _What_?" Cormac feigned his surprise at the suggestion, " A three-way? How exciting. So, who bottoms, Malfoy? I thought it might have been Snape that buggers Potter, but is it possible that it might be, Malfoy?" He laughed at the end, moving forward and pushing his shoulder into Draco, pushing him into the wall.

The two Gryffindor's muttered something unintelligent after this as they walked away but Hermione wasn't paying them any attention, she was looking worriedly at Draco and wondering what was happening. She'd never heard such vulgarity from them and had to question whether this had something to do with the attack and Seamus to be expelled. Draco didn't even sound surprised to be hearing this either; the observation irritated her, they were all once Gryffindor's so why was this happening now? So much for post-war unity.

 **. . .**

Perched in front of the fire with Narcissa sitting to Severus's right, they both held a tumbler of Brandy. Separating himself from Hogwarts had seemed like a great idea at first but he was missing someone; someone he should have been meeting with this evening. It felt strange and he realized that he'd rather effectively disjointed himself from his situation, wearing another mask like he was used to, only this time it didn't seem to fit. That was most likely due to Harry, he had gotten under his skin and started changing things whether it was welcomed or expected. He'd like to think his Slytherin would cope in his absence but past experiences had shown him that when the routine was broken, so too was the mind.

"Severus, care to tell me what's on your mind? You're awfully quiet over there."

It wasn't when he was around the Witch, that they would have an open forum and gossip openly about life and consequence. However; she had a knack for knowing when he was struggling with something, apparently, he had a very specific expression and must have been showing it now. There also weren't many people he trusted to let his guard down, but she was one of them.

"Of all people, you can read me best." He sighed, leaning forward and resting his forearms along his thighs.

"I assume nothing positive has come from your meetings?"

"Nothing I did not already know. Though, hearing my Pureblood Grandparents were still alive proved much a surprise."

"Amelia Prince? She is still _alive_? Well, I never…" Narcissa relaxed into her chair with an awe-struck look.

"You know of them?" Severus frowned.

"Naturally, they are very pronounced in the Pureblood circles. If I'm not mistaken, Lucius has dealt with Charles Prince on occasion. He is a ruthless business man, they aren't only wealthy, Severus, they are key decision makers across continents, influencing various Ministries."

"Hmh." He looked back into the fire, not really sure what to make of this news.

"You really did not know?"

"My mother married a Muggle; as far as I know she had no affiliation with her parents."

"Depending on how affluent the family and associated circles, marrying a Muggle is the equivalent of ostracizing ones self from their family. I suppose by taking the Snape name, she didn't do herself any favours. Are you going to reach out to your grandparents?"

Narrowing his eyes, he glared into the fire. He wanted nothing to do with the past, what was done was done. What would be the point in getting to know them when they had their life wherever they lived. Certainly, with his reputation, he wouldn't expect to have been given a second thought, not forgetting the fact he was once known as a Death Eater.

"If they turned their backs on my mother, then they would want _nothing_ to do with someone like me."

"You might be surprised. Your past with dark magic may just be what connects you and Charles. Amelia certainly gave me the time of day, she was quite a lovely lady back when I went to their estate."

A shudder went down his back at the mention of the Malfoy's and the Prince families being so closely connected and he didn't like it, not one bit. He wasn't going to reach out to them, even if they offered to help him in his situation, it would feel like blood money. It could be something they could hold over him and use at their disposal. His life, up until now and after the war, had begun to be the least complicated it had been all these years, not forgetting Harry of course, he was the most complicated of them all. Speaking of which, he wondered how the teen was getting on. He had left him a note but wasn't sure if it would have been read or not; perhaps he should write to him and confirm that he was okay? He would feel awful if something had happened because he was away. Minerva would get stern with him and say he was supposed to teach the boy ways to deal with his issues alone but that wasn't how their relationship worked.

"I will think on it, Narcissa."

"Severus, you know if there is anything I can do to help, I will. Perhaps I could reach out to some associates and find out what is happening with the Prince's these days. I will be very discreet."

"If you find benefit in such activities, then you are free to do as you will. Now, please forgive me, there is someone I must write to."

"Of course, please try and get some sleep tonight. I know things are hard at the moment but I can see those rings under your eyes."

He hadn't realized he'd looked so terrible but of course, she was correct and he grumbled back at the reflection staring back at him in the mirror of his bathroom. Damn, he was actually starting to look old, far beyond his years at least. The wrinkles stretching across his forehead were deepening and he attempted to soften his face, trying to smooth them out and hide them. _What Harry sees in me, is far beyond my comprehension_ , he thought, finally giving up on himself and walking back into his bedroom at the manor. His owl had arrived back sometime that afternoon looking rather sour, but for what reason, he did not know. He decided that he would return back to Hogwarts in the morning, he would have someone else take his class for that part and then slide back into his routine for the afternoon. Thankfully having Harry in his class at that time also, so he could see the boy.

"Please take this to Harry Potter. You may stay there, I will return to Hogwarts tomorrow." He stroked the black feathers and with a hoot, he was gone.

Watching him fly off, he stood on the balcony to his room and watched the sky. Clouds drifted over and across the light off the moon and he took this time to reflect on what was happening to him. Certain, that the day he was born he had been damned or cursed until the day he died. Well, he had already been set to die in reality but it seemed there was no reset button. At least one positive thing had come out from all of this and it came in the form of a young man, who at this time of night would have been tucked up in his bed sleeping peacefully. He lived in hope anyway; Harry was more complicated than that. Just thinking about the teen caused an uncomfortable pain in his chest, it was restrictive, and reminding him that there were other places he would rather be than standing in the freezing cold night and staring at the sky.

Tomorrow, that's when he was going back. He would request his presence then, hopefully after their class. A detention perhaps, knowing he would most likely not pay attention.

 **. . .**

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Harry's face contorted into the long yawn that had him groaning into the cool air of the morning. His back ached and his neck felt like it had a kink in it, but what had he expected? This was the price to pay for sleeping on Professor Snape's couch, unable and unwilling to bring himself to stay in the Slytherin dormitory after his grilling from Professor McGonagall. She'd stripped Slytherin of one hundred house points for his rudeness and demanded to know what had possessed him to say such a thing. He'd said the first thing that came to mind, to which she hadn't been impressed one little bit.

 _Potter, your attitude is disgusting. I sincerely hope that you do not speak to your other Professor's in this manner. Now, go and find Mr. Filch for your detention, you can be sure that when Severus returns he will also be informed of your behavior. I hope for your sake he is in a better mood than when he left._

A better mood indeed, something that wouldn't be rectified if he were to walk in right now and see the state of his living area. There were newspapers and parchment laying about the table, with textbooks piled high, some of which were from the library and others he'd found along the wall of books his Professor had. Raking both hands through his hair, he leaned forward with his legs still stretched out across the couch and sighed loudly. His findings on Fiendfyre had gone well, it wasn't an easy spell to control or maintain, which is why Goyle had trouble with it in the final battle. It had also been what Voldemort used against Professor Dumbledore at the Ministry and could understand the appeal of such dark spell when it created marvelous creations.

Going to stand, he let the black blanket fall away from his waist as he navigated the floor between the couch, wincing as he caught his foot on the corner of the coffee table because he'd been trying to avoid stepping on his bag. _Bugger, that hurt_ , he cringed, rubbing the digit harshly. Looking at the mess on the dining table, it was his organized chaos and part of him didn't want to clear it away just because he thought he'd been making head way. Perhaps he needed to make up a planning board so he could visualize the information standing up, it was an idea, one that would need to wait however as he set about clearing things away.

Underneath it all were his Defence notes after he'd been so frustrated with his conversation about Occlumency, he'd planned out different shields for various people that might try and attack him. He decided some of the stuff could stay where it was, he doubted the man would be back soon, it had been two days, this being the third day and he'd heard nothing more from his Professor. Well, he supposed he could have written to the older Wizard, but what would he have said?

 _Sir, I have been unwell, not sleeping and worried sick about where you are and what you are doing. I got your letter indicating the fires and have been up studying the spell Fiendfyre well into the night, further making my nightmares more unpleasant. I miss you, your presence is crucial for my happiness and I only wish that you could come back quickly so that I can curl up in your lap and fall asleep._

Oh yes, such a good message. So, no, he wasn't going to write, he would just have to wait and see when the man came back and what state he would be in. He doubted no one would really notice if he looked under the weather or that he hadn't slept himself, but he knew that he would know straight away if something was amiss. _Back to this mess_ , he tidied the books, leaving them in piles and laid out his Defence study notes carefully on the table. They didn't have this class till later in the afternoon, so he was going to leave his stuff here until then, Draco would no doubt be asking where he'd got to last night and he had every intention on lying about staying with Hagrid in his wolf form for the evening. His hair definitely proved this lie, he was sure of it.

When he was halfway to the Great Hall alone, he noted that a few students in front of him, a mix of Slytherin's and Hufflepuff's, suddenly parted ways. Confused as to why, his eyes widened as a black object came hurtling towards him. It was an owl, clearly, but it gave him such a fright that he stepped out of the way though not enough time for the bird to fly straight past him and it slowed just as it saw Harry before crashing into his chest. Some of the students looked on with bewilderment and a couple other laughed at the situation lightly before everyone was on their merry way.

 _Evan, what in Merlin's name?_ He looked down at the owl with worry and noted there was a letter secured in its beak. Looking around him, he saw a bench not too far up ahead and walked over to it, placing his bag on the floor beside him and letting the owl sit in his lap whilst looking at the front of the parchment in wonder. He wasn't sure he wanted to open it; he knew it was from Professor Snape, but something in the pit of his stomach made him not want to deal with it. What if he was telling Harry that things were really bad and he wasn't coming back to school? What if he was hurt? There were so many questions he had that his gaze simply went down to Evan, who appeared to be pleased to see him.

"Whatever he has to say, I don't think I could cope reading it. I'm going to wait, but… Do you want to come to breakfast with me?" He wasn't sure if the owl was going to understand him but it hopped excitedly in his lap a few times and decided that was the best answer he was going to get.

"Bloody hell, what happened to you last night? And did I see correctly that Slytherin are now down about a hundred house points?" Draco bailed him up as soon as he arrived in the hall and half wished he'd stayed in Professor Snape's rooms a little longer.

"Headmistress wasn't impressed," He pausd to yawn and pulled a piece of toast towards him without enthusiasm, "So, sorry about that."

"Sorry? You're _sorry_?" Draco grumbled, huffing to turn back to his own breakfast.

"I'll get the points back this weekend during Quidditch, so no harm."

The blasé attitude Draco was receiving this morning had him frowning, he was definitely struggling with something and he couldn't help but wonder if it had something to do with his godfather being away from the school. He'd received a letter just a few minutes prior to Harry coming into the hall, his mother informing him that Professor Snape had been staying at the manor whilst he dealt with things. She didn't go into any detail whatsoever, nor did she mention when he could be expected to return back to school, so overall he wasn't any more the wiser on what was happening. If Harry knew anything, he certainly wasn't showing it either, but he didn't want to bring it up when he otherwise seemed in a better mood than he had the day prior.

"I heard someone was a bad boy, yesterday." Jason Samuels came to sit in front of the two Slytherin's and Hermione was right behind him.

A half glare towards Hermione was noted, but not wanting to seem rude, Harry responded, "She was wrong, and I felt the need to correct her."

"Yes, well you could have done it in a gentler way." Hermione frowned.

"Are we really going to rehash this argument or can we get on with the day?" Harry snapped, his patience wearing thin at the allegations he was being subjected to.

"Honestly, what's gotten into you?" The Witch bristled.

" _Or what hasn't_." Jason whispered.

Harry huffed, feeling Evan's claws starting to dig into his thighs, "You know what? I'm not dealing with this today. Stay out of my way, and don't bother me."

It was the last of his paper thin patience and he didn't regret his actions one bit. Evan was hoisted onto his shoulder and bag slung across the other one, and he was off towards their first class. Sure, he still had plenty of time, but when he heard someone running after him and the flash of blonde hair, he was grateful to at least have someone with him. Draco knew when to stop pushing, Hermione had no such filter, and Jason, well… What was he even doing with them at the moment anyway?

 **. . .**

Once Severus was sure classes were well underway, he gave his thanks to Narcissa before departing Cornwall and apparating back to Hogwarts. A group of fourth year Ravenclaw and Slytherin's were outside with the Grounds Keeper for class but he paid them no mind and trudged up the muddy path towards the castle. His first stop was to see the Headmistress and he walked with haste up the stairs to her tower.

"Good morning, Minerva." He greeted, coming in after knocking.

"Ah, Severus. Oh my… It seems you have had a tough time." Taking in his exhausted appearance she smiled warily.

"An odd experience to say the least." He commented.

"Come on through here, you can tell me about it without flappy ears up there interrupting." She smiled at her own cheek, directing him back to a more comfortable setting.

"I appreciate the support, Minerva. Certainly, I am not surprised with the situation I have found myself in."

"Well, I can say it was a surprise to hear about the fire. Did you find out anything useful in your travels?" She poured them both some tea as she spoke.

"Your contact was quite helpful though a dull individual; he had eyes and ears throughout the Ministry looking into what happened though I am not confident that anything will come out of it. The Bank Manager at Gringott's was not very optimistic."

"I am very sorry to hear that, Severus. It seems that, after all the time that has passed, it hasn't worked out."

"The exoneration means nothing to a world who believe people cannot change. I will always remain a bitter man, but I let my younger years shape my future. If I had of known…" He trailed off with a sigh.

"Severus, what happened in the past is unfortunate, but you now have a chance to make things right."

" _How, Minerva_?" The stress of the last few days suddenly hit him and had to place the cup down as his hands began to shake, "I have _nothing_ left. I have no home; no money and the Ministry is conspiring against me so that I am not even covered for insurance on that damned cursed property. There is nowhere for me to go, I will end up staying at Hogwarts until I die."

"I understand if you had plans to move on from here, it was inevitable, but you should realize that there is always a place for you here. We can accommodate new classes if you need a change in the future, all is not lost, Severus." She put her own cup down and stood slowly, making her way around the small table and coming to sit beside him.

"I wish there was more I could offer." She reached out and put her arm around her colleagues back, patting it gently.

His resolve was breaking, the once strong and stoic man crumbled beneath her kindness. He refused to let the tears through however, that was something he would never let her or the world see because he was not that kind of person. Behind closed doors might have been different but not in front of the woman who had been by his side for years. The kind touch helped, if only a little, and allowed him to straighten up.

"I do not mind taking the senior class this afternoon if you would prefer to spend some time alone to think about things."

"It seems all I have done is think and feel sorry for myself these past few days. No, I will take them, perhaps having the older students will make their inquisitions less of an ignorant blow." He mused, sitting up straighter.

"Very well, let me know what happens. You always have my support, Severus." Patting his back, they both stood and he took a deep breath before excusing himself.

He set forth a trek to his rooms where he could unpack for the remainder of the morning. Perhaps even beat the students to lunch, but even as he wandered through the Dungeons his stomach showed no signs of being hungry. In fact, he didn't feel much of anything at the moment. It wasn't until he stepped into his room where he noticed something was out of place. Rather, a lot of things out of place.

"What… in Salazar's name…"

 **. . .**

"Well, Harry you will be happy to hear that Professor Snape was seen walking towards the castle this morning when we were elbow deep in toad intestines." Draco commented as they walked up the stairs to lunch.

Harry's face when white and he stopped dead in his tracks, "What?"

"Professor Snape is back? Are you okay?" Draco stopped also, half turning to look at his friend.

 _Oh man, if he's back then he's probably been down to his rooms and seen the mess I left it in. Fuck, I am so screwed…_ Suddenly not looking forward to his Defence class, he swallowed heavily and considered running back into the Dungeons simply to clean his research up instead of eating.

"Earth to Harry?" Draco tried, seeing the distant gaze and worried expression, but was soon utterly confused when Harry started running back down the stairs, " _Oi!_ Where are you going?"

And where was Harry Potter going, running down the stairs, almost two at a time? He was heading towards the Dungeons, and more specifically, Professor Severus Snape's private living quarters. Why? Because he'd rather not get skinned alive for leaving the man's rooms a mess, because whilst he'd been told he could seek refuge in the quiet living room, it was implied that they would remain clean and tidy. Oh, he was in so much trouble if his Professor had already been in there, he hoped to all Wizarding and Muggle gods that he had gone to seek the Headmistress prior to coming down here and was delayed.

He didn't even bother knocking, tearing the door open as he continued at his high speed and running towards the dining table where most of the mess lay. With his bag open he chucked it onto one of the chairs that he'd pulled out and began piling up his books, not caring what order his Defence notes were soon put in to, he just wanted to make sure this untidy lot of parchment was cleaned before –

"Harry?"

 _Shit, fuck, shit…_ Harry whirled around to see his Head of House leaning against the laboratory door casually, slightly bewildered, but in the muddled neurons in his brain, he let out a startled cry before whimpering. Oh, he was so done for. It was a silent moment between the two of them after that, the only thing Harry could hear was his heartbeat racing at dangerous speeds and adrenaline making his vision blurred. He didn't really know what he was supposed to say, whilst he was happy the man was back, it wasn't what he was thinking about at that moment. The realization that he was going to be skinned alive, diced finely into Potion's ingredients and sold to the open market was the first thing he thought was going to happen, not the calm manner in which his Professor next spoke to him.

"What on earth are you doing?" Taking a step forward, Harry squeaked and turned back to shoving bits and pieces back into his bag.

"I'm sorry, sir, I didn't know when you were going to be back and I was supposed to clean this up before classes but I didn't want to be carrying it around and I – " He stopped when hands rested on his shoulders, pulling him backwards and into the older Wizards body.

"May we discuss this another time?" Severus was admittedly feeling rather defeated at present, not having expected to see Harry until class which was after lunch, and was surprised to feel some normalcy at having the teen in his rooms.

"A-Another time?" He took this moment to peer over his shoulder and lightly gasped when he felt the arms move around his chest and pull him close, something solid resting on his opposing shoulder.

"It has been an exhausting few days, I am happy to see you."

Harry was utterly confused, but the longer they stood there in silence after the statement, Harry's mind began to slow down and his body relaxed into the embrace. He'd missed his Professor too, exhausted from worry and sleeplessness due to many factors that were inhibiting him.

"I'm really glad you're back."

"Hmm?" Severus nuzzled gently against Harry's shoulder, angling his head into the clothed neck.

"Yeah, and we've established that Professor McGonagall doesn't know much about Occlumency and Legillency." Harry commented, but tensed when he heard a gentle growl.

"Yes, she told me."

 _Damn, she said something about that, didn't she?_ Harry remembered, wanting to shrink into the fibres of the rug they were standing on.

"But enough of that, I want to know how you have been." Severus moved, gently turning his Slytherin and moving his hands down to the slender hips in front of him.

"Things have been strange, I didn't like that you disappeared without any notice, but I got the letter you left with my cloak. Thanks for that by the way." He was able to muster a smile as he looked up at the man.

He was granted a softer smile in return, one that was so small he could barely notice it, but he likened it to an emotion like relief. Harry wasn't going to pry at what had happened whilst the man had been away, it was too soon for that even though he was itching to know every detail so he could continue his research on Fiendfyre. Maybe he should be writing to Minister Shacklebolt for a favour, get some of the details off the Auror's who would be investigating the incident… Well, he hoped they were, considering the sinister nature of it. Instead of all the interrogations, he leaned onto the balls of his feet, making his intentions clear and was happy to see that he wasn't pushed away.

This felt different than usual; there was a mutual feeling of relief, happiness, and familiarity. The younger Slytherin melted against his Professor, moving his hands up the man's arms and circling around the base of his neck. The drama of Harry's school supplies lay forgotten as they reacquainted, relaxing, even as experimental hands moved from his hips and around, lower, teasing his backside. _This is new_ , he thought idly, a soft whimper being smothered by the older Wizard who was taking control. He didn't mind, in fact, Harry was lapping it up, right until the moment they parted for more conversation.

"I sent you one last night also, might I assume you have not received it?"

"Oh, uh, this one?" Harry rummaged in his pocket and pulled out the unopened letter, his Professor's blunt expression confirmed that it was indeed the very same letter, "I haven't read it…"

"I see." Severus plucked it from the teen's hands and opened it behind Harry's head as his hands were still wrapped around his precious Slytherin.

"Dear Harry, I hope you are doing well and keeping out of trouble in my absence. Things are wrapping up and I plan on being back at Hogwarts this morning, ready for your afternoon class. If it isn't too much trouble, I would like for you to see me after classes as we missed our weekly meeting. Until then…" Looking at Harry once he was done, he noted the guilty expression and promptly leant down to peck those pouting lips before moving away and putting his attention on the class notes that were still scattered on his table.

"Guess I should have read it when Evan saw me this morning."

"Indeed, but then again we got to see each other earlier, did we not? Now, explain what these are." Severus asked, pointing at the parchment across his table.

"Professor McGonagall did her best, not that I'm an expert as you'll agree, but something I said to Draco made me think of something that I wanted to ask you about. Of course, you weren't here, so I started investigating and planning for myself. This is where it lead me."

True to Harry's word, there were several pieces of parchment all labeled with someone's name on them, he could see his own, the Headmistress, his friends and even McClaggen, though he doubted that Gryffindor would ever be able to cast such complex magic. Speaking of such Gryffindor, if he was planning something such as this, perhaps things weren't going as smoothly as he would have hoped for the Slytherin. He picked up the parchment with that name on it and showed it to Harry with a corresponding expression and saw him sigh.

"No, it hasn't been any better than before he left. I'd intended on telling you the morning you weren't here, mainly because he seems to have developed an interest in taunting Draco and I."

"Oh?" Severus inquired.

"Yes, haven't you heard that Draco and I are dating?" Harry snorted, missing the ignition of something in Severus's eye, "Oh, but even better is that Hermione, Draco and I are in some weird love triangle. Though, there seems to be much debate on who _bottoms_?" Shrugging, he wasn't really sure about any of this, and continued to pack his things slowly.

"Is that so?" Severus's voice dropped to a growl, unimpressed to have heard such rumors.

"It's not true of course." Shuddering, Harry didn't even want to think about it, "But enough about how I am… Sir, I want to know how _you_ are. You said that this was going to be a trying time for us both in your letter… I want to be here for you like you have been for me."

"You need not worry about me, Harry. I can very much loo – "

"That's not what I said." Harry interrupted, slamming the last piece of his work into his bag, before turning back to his Professor.

Severus looked at him, mirroring the defiant expression, but then he didn't want to argue about this. It had been a trying few days and emotionally felt drained, not that he couldn't understand where Harry was coming from and it was refreshing for someone to take note of his feelings also. Now, however, was not the time for delving into his personal life and becoming conscious of the time, he decided they both needed to eat if they had any hope of surviving the rest of the afternoon. He had expected the reluctance when it was mentioned, but they both needed to make an appearance.

"You'll be taking our class this afternoon… right?" Harry asked unsurely as he was led to the door.

"I will be, then when classes have finished, you will be forgoing any study classes you have to report for your detention with me this evening."

" _What?_ " Mouth gaping and brows pulling together, Harry was indignant.

"One hundred house points and a mere slap on the wrist for insubordination in my class? Oh, dear Harry Potter, your punishment is not nearly over."

Whilst Severus felt exhausted, the mirth in his voice caused a shudder to work even through _his_ body at the prospect of getting back into a routine; and what better way to do that than supervise a detention with his favourite student. He was not to be misunderstood however, there would be no special treatments for this detention, in fact, he had a great plan on torturing Harry as he attempted to redo one of the potions he had also boggled up. Potion's was still a passion of his, even though he did not teach the class anymore, and no potential lover of his was going to be slack in the discipline. No, sir.

 **. . .**

 _ **Am I going to delve into this detention? I'm not sure…**_


	53. Chapter 53

**.**

 **#phoenix-rob:**

 _ **Hmm, not quite where I was gooing with it, but Cormac certainly isn't out of the picture just yet.**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Okay, noted. More butt grabbing for my darling friend.**_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **A filler chapter? Hmm, I suppose you're right. What do you want to see happen between them? (Feel free to message me your thoughts). Let's be honest, Severus can still be stubborn, but I'm not sure that façade will last much longer… You'll see why here.**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Even I feel weird writing it to be honest. He's such a strong human being.**_

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **Perhaps it was a little overboard, but remember, he disgraced her in front of others and after all she's done for him over the years, he had the nerve to out her? I know that's where the personl and professional boundaries turn into a grey area, but she was pretty hurt by it.**_

 _ **I'm hoping you enjoyed 'Time To Change', no, I haven't finished it and likely never will, but there's always that little bit of hope I have in myself that I'll pick my sorry ass up and write out an ending. I still have some ideas on where I want to go with it… But some of those are going to transfer into this story instead.**_

 _ **Okay, I have an idea of what I'm going to write. Do you want established relationship or the dance lead up? (Message me if you want).**_

 _ **. . .**_

 _ **Thanks to everyone else for the support and comments. I love hearing what you have to say about it, if it's going well or getting weird. I thought I'd change things up a little for this chapter, and I realise some of you may not like it.**_

 _ **Regardless, I hope you enjoy.**_

 _ **. . .**_

Harry wished he hadn't been such an arrogant prick about Occlumency to the Headmistress, his detention with Professor Snape had been a disaster. He'd been made to redo his Potion that he had failed earlier in the week, the one that required the inner organs of toads, and to top matters off the potion had blown up in his face, searing the tips of his fringe. Professor Snape hadn't said much about the incident, evidently it had been his interference that caused the lapse in concentration to begin with and Harry's arms still tingled from where he'd been touched. He shuddered at the bliss before the beast, his Head of House had been unusually calm, possibly things were simmering in the background behind a solid façade, and if that were the case, he had to give the man credit for acting like everything was fine.

"Wow, really?" Draco smirked when Harry slumped down beside at dinner.

"You'd think that after being away, he'd be a little more forgiving. As it happens, he was not."

"I'm not sure what you really expected, thought you knew him better than this?" Draco huffed with a smile, shaking his head.

"If there was ever a _next time_ , consider your warnings heeded." Raking a hand through his partially charred and very split ends, Harry sighed into the feast.

All this aside, he was glad the man was back, it meant that he was back in the safety of Hogwarts walls and Professor McGonagall wouldn't let anything happen to him. Speaking of which, he looked around Draco and saw the Witch sitting next to his Head of House, they were speaking close, obviously in a whisper and wondered if he should properly apologise to her over his outburst. She really didn't deserve him outing her in front of the class like he had, and he was sure she'd have enough to deal with without him making things worse. He was still feeling tender about his Professor disappearing, but he felt comfortable in the knowledge that he was back and his anxiety relaxed into the background. Perhaps now he could go and have that chat with her she was so enthusiastic about having.

"Those are the saddest looking bangs I have ever had the misfortune of seeing." Jason and Hermione came to sit in front of both Slytherins, even after Harry's outburst, they didn't stay away.

"I'm sorry about this morning. Neither of you deserved to be at the end of my shitty morning." Harry said, pinning Hermione with his remorseful expression.

"Just because someone wasn't here, doesn't mean you have to get testy about it. But considering he gave you detention and you look like you do, I'd say justice was dealt." The Ravenclaw Witch offered him a smile, to which he returned before moving his gaze to Jason, "Perhaps you might let someone take care of your hair, Harry?"

"What?"

"Oh, Harry, I would love to fix this for you." The Ravenclaw leaned across the table and went to take a strand of Harry's fried hair between his fingers.

Draco deadpanned the teen, thinking the situation was strange and wanted to know why their Quidditch enemy was paying so much attention to his friend. Well, he knew rumors of Samuels, ones that he had been wondering about Harry too but not willing to bring it up. Hermione seemed to not mind how the situation was panning out, and frankly if it weren't for the rumors, then he'd find himself jealous over the amount of time she was spending with Samuels. He looked to the Witch, appreciating the way her face lit up when she was speaking with Harry and even more so when she started to become enthusiastic about some slumber party. At this he shook himself from the internal musings and actually paid attention.

"So, what do you say?" Draco was looking at Hermione who had spoken, who was looking at Harry, who, in turn was looking at Jason with an odd expression.

"Is that really wise considering we'll be versing each other in Quidditch this weekend?" Harry asked, biting his lip and looking unsure.

"Absolutely, looking fantastic will take away the pain of defeat." Jason's eyes shone as he egged the Slytherin's on.

"Hah, that'll be the day." Draco sniffed, narrowing his eyes, his own spark flashing in his grey eyes.

"Well, that's settled then. Harry, Draco, we'll see you at dinner tomorrow night before sneaking you into the Ravenclaw common room for a hair makeover."

"Wait, _what_?" Draco sat up a little straighter, his dignity gone as he watched Hermione standing.

"You heard me. Good night gentlemen." She smirked, winking at the blonde Slytherin, before departing with Jason.

"What the hell did we just agree to?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but what's the harm? You get to spend the night with Hermione and I can get my mind off other matters."

"What, now you're hiding from Professor Snape?" Draco asked, sceptical.

"I wouldn't say that, no." Harry frowned, looking past his friend and making eye contact with the man, "Like you said, he needs space right now and me interrupting isn't going to help matters."

Though, internally, he knew that wasn't true. Professor Snape wasn't telling him something, the way he was so calm about it all should have been concerning.

 **. . .**

The following day and Harry was standing at the end of the bridge, looking down on Hagrid's hut as his classmates convened for their lesson. He had been managing to keep up with the work, not that he found it particularly interesting lately, the idea of feeding animals was really boring and he wondered if persuing something in Romania with the dragons that he'd mentioned once before was really something he could do. Of course, there was the danger element to it, but was it worth risking his life over feeding some dragons? Perhaps not. Though, he was still committed to showing Professor Snape, now more than ever, that he could overcome things and he had the right mindset for that to happen right now, trapsing down the hill and catching the tail of the class who had started wandering into the forest.

Hermione and Draco were up ahead, but he wasn't going to go running after them just yet, he needed to do this at his own pace. Looking into the trees, he pouted as he thought and glanced back up at the castle. The last few times he'd been with Professor Snape and they had also been in their animagus forms… He'd still technically be attending class, even if he weren't in human form, and there were only a few people that had actually seen his form to know distinctly that it was him. It was always worth a shot, and if it came to bite him, he had some solid reasoning as to why he'd done it the way he had.

Leaving his bag at the edge of the forest, he escaped into the bushes and followed slowly, coming around to flank one side of the group as they stopped by the hut Hagrid used to teach. Laying down on his stomach, he was able to hear the class and saw that the giant had a baby Demiguise locked away in a cage, he unlocked it and held the small, grey ape like animal delicately. He'd heard of these creatures before, but had never seen one so close, he wondered how his friend even managed to get one, since they were nature to the Far East.

From the corner of his eye, he spotted Cormac whispering to Ron and felt his blood boil. He'd thought the time away would have meant things calmed down but if Ron and Cormac were not getting together to agravate him, then it was going to be a slow rest of the year for him and possibly Draco if they continued on the path they were. As he watched the sandy haired Gryffindor, he frowned, something about his interactions with his Professor not sitting where they should be. The growl and change of demeanor when he mentioned the rumor, it was more than just irritation, it almost sounded possessive or angry. His Head of House should know that he and Draco weren't anything more than fierce friends, and if he had a thing for Hermione, then he was sure something would have come out by now. They'd had this conversation previously actually, but he really didn't want to blame the man for being irritated by it, whatever happened in the last week was probably messing with his head and heart.

Takig a deep breath and sighing, Harry worried about his Professor, he anted to make things beter and be there for him, but it didn't seem like the man was interested. What was it going to take for him to see that his student was trying to help, to take some of that pain away and let him know that he didn't have to do this alone now? Well, that was assuming he'd been alone over the years, it wasn't something he should be thinking about, knowing full well he'd run his mouth accidentally and cause trouble.

 _Why are things so complicated?_ He lamented silently, now listening to Hagrid as he spoke about the creatures invisibility qualities. Interested to note that his invisibility cloak was possibly made from the fur off a Demiguise, and raised his eyebrows in surprise.

By the end of the lesson, he stayed behind, hiding in the bushes until all the students had left and it was just Hagrid. Showing himself, he trotted over and sat at the edge of the shed, waiting for the giant to see him when he'd locked the baby away safely. It seemed to give the odler Wizard a fright seeing him there, but the friendly smile broadened and he came over to run a large hand over Harry's wolf head.

"Did yer' come to me class, 'Arry?" He asked fondly, to which he nodded in response, before looking at the path that led them back to safety.

"Well, it's good ter' see yer' getting more confidant out 'ere. I reckon yer' liked todays class. Tha' little bundle is rather special."

Harry couldn't respond with words, so he showed his interest and appreciation with a wagging of his tail, perked ears and open mouth, to which his tongue flopped out in a happy manner. Hagrid mused about being young again before he indicated they should be leaving the area and Harry followed happily behind. He remembered the previous weekend coming out here with his Defence Professor, how calm and happy he'd been just the two of them, not having to worry about things in their lives. He'd liked to have hoped to do it again sometime, perhaps this weekend after Quidditch if he didn't get beaten up. A shudder worked through his body, he could only imagine what the game was going to be like, Jason being a beater, he'd probably start aiming the damn bludger straight at him…

 _ **. . .**_

The Ravenclaw common room was as Harry remembered, but they didn't stay in the main area for long and the brunette was suddenly dragged up the stairs by Jason. Glancing behind him, he saw Hermione putting her hand on Draco's shoulder and smiling with a book in her hand and immediately knew it was a stitch up. Honestly, what was she thinking trying to set him up with Jason? It made his heart hammer in his chest, knowing exactly where he was going and wanted to snatch his hand back, only to find it in an iron grip and not let go until they pushed into the seventh-year dormitory.

"And this is where the magic happens." Jason said by way of introductions, they were the only two inside and Harry was awash with various emotions.

This space reminded him so much of Gryffindor tower, his head in the clouds and brighter lighting. The colours were of course different, and he couldn't help but feel relaxed by the various hues of blues that adorned the small room that housed four boys. The Ravenclaw was walking to his bed, crouching at the side and pulling out what appeared to be his trunk. Feeling awkward just standing there, Harry decided to walk in further and went to one of the near windows, seeing various lighting from different parts of the castle and smiling in fond memory of his time in Gryffindor tower.

"I know it seems weird not having Hermione with us, but she wanted to spend some time with Draco. Not that I'm surprised; under that hard exterior I bet there's a little kitten in there waiting to be pet." Jason mused, pulling Harry from his thoughts and growing cautious in his next action.

It seemed this was noted, and there was a sigh from the other teen, "Yes, Harry those rumors are true."

"W-What rumors?" Harry frowned, but deep down, his but was telling him of what it was.

"That's cute, the innocent act you put on, but everyone in Hogwarts knows that I prefer males. Your friend is no exception, pity about his family though."

"Hey, Draco is a good person that bad things have happened to." He felt it was right to defend his housemate, they had shared a lot recently.

"Oh, I didn't mean that in an offensive way. You've been through a lot as well." Jason smiled, setting a brush, bottle and packet of small coloured bands on the bed.

How was he going to deal with this? Hermione had clearly said something to the Ravenclaw about the fact he was gay too, there were too many coincidental elements that would rule her meddling out. But, what was this other emotion he was feeling? He almost wanted to speak with Jason about it all and get his take on things, though the one thing stopping him was that Professor Snape was already helping him with this. Actually… Was he? They were now in some form of relationship, intimate but mostly friendship, but there was no discussion about what that meant in society. The man had never confirmed whether he was gay or bisexual… Or anything else there was out there. It was just he and Harry, which was fine, except for when he was out in public and he knew there was some anxiety about how people might treat him if they were to find out his preferences.

"Why don't you sit down, I have some oils for your hair." Jason was now sitting on an angle at the edge of his bed, watching Harry, "I don't bite." He smiled.

"Sorry." The Slytherin mumbled, coming to sit on the same side but far enough away that they couldn't accidentally touch.

"Please don't think of me overstepping a line here, but you don't need to over think this."

"What do you mean?"

"You're thinking that I'm here to jump you, but that's really not the case at all. Give me a little more credit." Despite the awkward topic, Harry was surprised to see that he was smiling softly, "And don't blame Hermione, but she told me you might be struggling. At the very least, I would like to be your friend, confidant."

Taking in a deep breath, Harry sighed and sagged his shoulders, "I knew it."

"You're in a safe place here, Harry. I think you'll even be surprised at how many people aren't as straight as they appear. Take your housemate Pansy Parkinson for example." He laughed at Harry's expression before pouring oil into his hands, "Are you okay if I…"

"I appreciate it, thank you." Nodding, he moved a little closer and closed his eyes when he felt fingers running along his scalp.

 _Professor Snape used to do this a lot… They aren't his hands right now, but I could always pretend_ , Harry thought, the light pressure causing waves of deliciousness to flow through his body.

"So, what happened anyway? Did you have detention last night?"

Harry laughed nervously, "Sort of, Professor Snape wasn't impressed about my behaviour this week and had me help him with a project he's working on."

"And it left your hair like this?" Jason's tone suggested that he winced, not that Harry could see it.

"The cauldron I was tending to, exploded unexpectedly, and the acid particles from the toad intestines started singing my hair. Professor Snape had to pick himself up from laughing at my misfortune, which is rather unfair seeing as it was _his_ experiment in the first place." Not knowing why, he was surprised at how easily he could speak like this to Jason.

"He's certainly an interesting man, your Head of House, though one thing I can't imagine is him having any sense of humor or laughing whatsoever. You seem close with him this year."

The simple inquisition felt like a slap to the face and the Slytherin tensed, "We were known to fight in previous years, but I suppose the war changed us, even if we were unconscious of it at the time."

"I think that's great. Certainly, before the war, we wouldn't have allowed two Slytherin's in the common room. A good symbol of change, huh?" Jason pulled his hands back and smiled at Harry, they were quite close and without thinking, the Slytherin licked his lips.

Jason's eyes flicked down to the action, but did not act and instead picked up the brush, "Okay, what are you trying to do with your hair? The split ends will be mended soon as the oils soak in, but it's quite hard to decipher what look you're going for. I'll be honest, you're starting to look like Professor Snape, and it's weird."

Harry morphed his face into something unrecognizable and shrugged.

"The truth can sometimes hurt." The Ravenclaw smirked, then folded his arms, moving up onto the bed better and looking at Harry seriously, "If you want to go longer, you could tie it into a bun, or I could cut it shorter for you, have something similar to what you had before?"

"How's it going in here?" Hermione stuck her head in through the door and Harry was immediately relieved.

"We were just discussing what hairstyle he should have."

"Give him something hot." Hermione nodded.

" _Hermione!"_ Harry cried indignantly.

"Short at the sides, longer on the top?" Jason suggested.

"Yes, I think so."

" _What?_ "

"Oh, Harry just relax. You're in good hands." Hermione grinned, raking fingers through her own hair.

 **. . .**

Draco and Hermione were sitting on the couch down in the common room, the blonde kept looking around him, conscious that people were looking at him weirdly. Hermione tried to sooth this and gave a couple of boys a short shift when they were going to comment, which worked in the short term, but he still felt uncomfortable. They were talking through Arithmancy, of all things, apparently, she was stuck on something and couldn't quite grasp the formula. Of course, Draco was a natural at the discipline, so when he focussed on the problem she had, he forgot about everyone else and happily helped her.

Up in the dormitory, Harry's neck was starting to hurt with it being tilted for so long, but hoped it would all be worth it. They sat in silence for the most part, but Harry was starting to feel anxious; he should just say something about his sexuality, shouldn't he? It might be nice speaking to someone his own age about these things, get a different perspective on some issues that didn't come from someone twice his age. All it took was a sigh, and closing his eyes to calm himself enough to get the balls to say what he'd wanted to say since they'd started.

"I'm not struggling, just unsure." Harry said to start things off, his heart rate spiking when the hands in his hair stopped.

"Has someone caught your eye that's making you question it?" Jason replied calmly, continuing in his work.

Damn, was he just perceptive of was it an innocent question? Whatever it was, Harry wanted to remain calm enough not to guide suspicion, and took some time to think about how he was going to respond. To be fair, yes, it had been someone in particular that had shifted his preferences, but whether that was just because he was comfortable with the man or not, he didn't know. It took him back to the kiss he'd first pressed to the man, standing in front of his parents grave. It had felt like the right thing to do, maybe? That was still very confusing for him, perhaps he should just leave it in the past, focus on the present and future.

"Yes, as fleeting as it was. I've had too much time for thinking this year, it's awful."

"I can only imagine." Jason commented, his voice soft, "If it's any consolation… It was the climax of the war that saved the relationship with my family over my preferences. They had no idea, but my father was really pushing the heir thing," He puffed out a small laugh, "We aren't even Pure Bloods."

Harry stiffened, "They… were angry that you're…"

"Gay? They were rather disappointed more than anything. I lost some family in the war, I guess my parents didn't want to severe ties with that hanging over their heads. It's okay now, in the beginning it was a bit awkward. I'm a bit of an old hand at this whole gay business, it was never really a question that I preferred male company than female, even through school. But I can understand the struggles of coming to terms with it all, your nature and biology screaming at you to look at the girls and finding you can't stop staring at the attract brunette across the room with a well structured face."

Frowning, Harry relaxed again as his head was angled the other way and Jason started on that side. He thought about what the Ravenclaw had said, realizing that Professor Snape had never really made the situation awkward, in the beginning stages when he knew that there were feelings, the man never shunned him for it, instead he did the opposite. _I wonder how long he felt attracted to me, if there had been something there all along or if it just sort of happened like it did with me._ Attraction, he used that word and yet it didn't really sit right in the situation with the older Wizard. What did the man even see in him?

"This is going to sound weird… But, why are you doing this? Do I look unattractive or something?"

"Unattractive? Hmm, am I able to speak the truth without things being taken out of context?"

"I think I need a dose of reality." Harry sighed, thinking it was going to hurt.

"You're not ugly, Harry. Far from it. Though, I can see you've just let yourself go this year and quite frankly, I'm not surprised. Draco was the same this year, but it seems his interest in our mutual friend as made him pick up his act in that regard. From this angle, you have an extremely well defined face, your jaw in particular. I'll be honest, that and your eyes are my favourite features. Your hair is hiding this beauty, you literally could get anyone in this school if you tried." Jason's voice was tender, like he was afraid to say something wrong.

"My ego can take it if there's something you need to add."

At this the Ravenclaw stopped what he was doing and sat back, causing Harry to look at him warily, "With some effort, you're going to be _the_ hottest bloke in school. If I had the chance with you, I'd be a fool to turn it down. That's not me trying to hit on you, it's just the truth."

Harry was rather surprised, but his mind went back to what Professor Snape saw in him if what Jason said was true. Okay, so he didn't look the best right now, he sort of knew that. Whilst his health was getting better slowly with the better sleeping patterns he'd developed and the absence of nightmares, there was still a long way to go and part of him still wanted to hide beneath his bangs. So, the question remained, what did Professor Snape see in him to risk the rest of his career on a secret relationship?

"There, all done." Jason sat back and smiled at his creation before indicating that Harry should go and have a look in the mirror.

"Wha – " Harry was speechless.

"Okay, I know it's a little dramatic, but at least it will be out of your eyes tomorrow?"

Along the sides, instead of cutting as Jason had suggested earlier, he had three rows of French braiding either side of his head. They were secured by some black elastics which were hidden by the teased mop of hair that ran along the top of his head from front to back. Yes, it was dramatic, and no, Harry wouldn't be caught dead walking the halls looking like this. He was quite literally speechless as he turned his head this way and that, trying to find an angle that worked. Essentially, his hair was styled back, and thankfully out of his eyes, but this wouldn't do, it screamed gay, really, it did.

"Yeah… I, uh, I'm not sure about this…" Harry started, raking a hand through the slightly teased mop and grabbing a fist full, pulling it forward so it sat sideways, curved neatly and sitting at his cheekbone.

"Oh… Oh my…" Jason gushed, his mouth popping open at the sudden rush he found invading his body, "You just completely changed the look – and, _damn_." He grinned, coming to stand behind Harry to see what the Slytherin was seeing.

"This seems very, Viking." Harry mused, slightly taken back at how the look completely changed him, and he had to admit sliently that this looked good.

"We have to show the others." He put a hand on Harry's shoulder and patted it twice before darting from the room, leaving the Slytherin alone.

 _This is really me? It's completely different…_ He turned his head and caught the braids, letting a smile tug at his lips. He wasn't entirely sure he could get away with this during classes, he didn't need to draw any further attention to himself, more than what was necessary. But… There was _one_ person that he wanted to see this, a man who deserved to be with someone who looked the part. Superficial things such as physical looks wasn't something either of them were particularly concerned about, obviously, Harry was a good example of that, but his Professor should at least be proud that he was with someone attractive. Even if it was in secret.

"Harry? Turn around, show – " Hermione's jaw dropped when he saw him, turning towards all three of them.

"What did I tell you? I'm a genius." Jason beamed, folding his arms and nudging Draco's shoulder.

Bristling at the contact, he frowned, but quickly looked away again, "Potter, you look like a peacock."

Harry grinned, "And I'll take that as a Draco Malfoy compliment."

He knew Draco didn't mean anything nasty by the comment, in fact, there were many times in which he'd said the exact same to the blonde in the common room. Hermione was the best expression to watch, she kept giong to say something but then stopping and looking between him and Jason, speechless, that's how he would describe her right now and that wasn't something any of them were accustomed to. Turning back to the mirror, he patted some of the volume down and dragged his hands through the part he'd turned into a side fringe, tiliting his head and giving himself a sultry look. He could get away with this, especially during Quidditch, and with an experimental twist of the fringe, he pulled it sideways to see what it would look like pinned back. No, the side fringe would be okay and darting through the air, it would be pushed back anyway.

"This will do." Harry beamed.

 **. . .**

Severus was sitting in his office, buried under a pile of extravagant homework that had been handed out, courtesy of the Headmistress in his absence. He was almost impressed, if it weren't for the fact he hadn't been the one to assign them, and that left him feeling bitter. Leaning back in his chair, he let his head drop back against the wooden frame and looked up at the ceiling. Whilst it felt comfortable to be back within the safety of school grounds, he couldn't help but feel a knot of anxiety twisting away in his organs. He wasn't entirely sure where it immediately stemmed from, but there were still a lot of things whizzing around his head that made his attempts at marking fruitless.

So, instead of tormenting himself further, he decided enough was enough, picking up the quill he'd been using and reaching out to open his top drawer. Placing the writing utensil inside, he turned his head lazily and peered into the contents of the drawer, catching his eye was the atrocious pink and purple one Harry had transfigured months ago, sitting in there lonely and unused. Picking it up, he rolled it between his fingers, recalling how simpler things had been back before Christmas. He didn't regret the way the relationship with his Slytherin had developed in that time, but he realised that back then, there was a purpose to their meetings. What did Harry need now? He was by no means cured, he'd always have some struggles, but they had gotten over some of the recurring issues that had been a development of the war. It appeared there were no suicidal thoughts and tendancies, the forest didn't seem to pose much of an issue as it once did, and he had dealt with green spells head on. What was left?

This seemed to be something he would need to have a chat with the teen about, still not knowing what Harry's plans were for the end of year were probably the one thing he needed to really get him thinking about. There needed to be a purpose, something to occupy the Slytherin's mind, a goal. Perhaps he was holding his student back, this relationship making the more important elements take a back seat whilst they explored this new connection. Eyes widened at this thought and suddenly, it felt as though a bucket of ice cold water had been drenched over his head. It was something so blazingly obvious that he hadn't even considered it until now… What if he didn't get insurance on his property and was forced to stay at Hogwarts for the rest his forseeable future? He couldn't have Harry fluing here constantly, and he certainly couldn't live at the school with him. They would be seperated for most of the week, at best he might be able to escape the castle in the weekend when not on duty or required at meetings, so what would that mean for their relationship? It wouldn't be fair to attempt holding on to the teen when there would be others tempting him, he couldn't keep him back like that.

Swiftly putting the quill back into his drawer and slamming it shut, he realised there were a lot of things he needed to think about, all these elements crowding his mind and overwhelming him. However, his initial thought, after having looked at the time and seeing it was almost dinner, was to find Harry and talk with him about it all. It was on his way to the Great Hall that he managed to stop himself from panicking and acting irrationally, the last thing he needed to do was to draw attention to himself and there were other pressing matters he had to think over also. Topics that included his Grandparents and how their role in all this could potentially change the course of the investigation into the fires or even how he proceed with the recovery afterwards. The way Narcissa spoke of them, you'd have thought they were part of a mafia or well run black market organisation, but really, they were Purebloods and anything could have been happening.

As he sat at the head table, he sniffed at the fact his life was going to be entangled with his mothers side of the family, hoping that nothing more would come out of the woodwork whilst he dealt with his affairs. What if they sought him out? He rather doubted it, but there was always a small possibitlity.

With his thoughts having carried from the entire way from his office to his seat at the head table, it was only now that his mind cleared enough to properly see, to notice that he couldn't see Harry or Draco in the hall. A quick glance at the Ravenclaw table also confirmed that the other segment to the new trio was missing and he frowned, realising he would have liked to set eyes on his Slytherin this evening to ground himself. Whilst things were tender between them, delicate and sweet as they explored this new development, he couldn't deny seeing Harry safe would have made things internally settle a little better. It had come as a surprise to even himself that when he was away from the school, part of him wanted to hightail it back to Hogwarts _just_ to see the younger Wizard, to hold him close, center his intrusive and bitter thoughts. The teen would likely never realise this, but his presence did a lot more for Severus and his sanity.

 **. . .**

Piled around the table down in Hogwart's kitchens, the four students, two Slytherins and two Ravenclaws, all sat eating with animated story telling from back before the war. There were smiles and relaxed bodies, all managing to sneak out some butterbeer from the elves, after asking – absolutely not begging – them nicely for some to share amongst themselves. Draco was sitting next to Harry, thankfully, the newer Slytheirn wasn't sure if he could do much more of the flambuoyant Ravenclaw male for much longer, he had so much energy that Hermione seemed to feed off, that by the time they'd scoffed down some dessert, both Slytherin's were feeling exhausted.

It had been a good night, something to take Harry's mind off what was really happening outside the safe walls that the three friends had built for him. Well, he supposed Jason was a friend, even if he used the term loosely, he had been very kind after all and felt that he needed to play along with the nights schedule as to not offend him. Genuinely, yes, he was a nice guy, but Harry couldn't stop the niggling feeling that he was really holding himself back in the presence of others. The subtle touches when Hermione and Draco had stumbled into the Ravenclaw dormitory, the glances that stayed on him longer than they should have… Whilst Jason had made it clear he wasn't there to _jump him_ , as he put it, Harry felt uneasy. It might have been the hair, he couldn't even believe that something so simple could transform his look completely, but it had.

"We should get going, Potter. Quidditch and all, tomorrow." Draco commented, after covering a tired yawn.

"Good plan." Harry nodded, standing as his friend followed, "Thanks for everything tonight, you guys, and Jason, I really appreciate the help." He smiled, somewhat _knowingly_ , at the Ravenclaw, who returned it and nodded.

"It should stay like that tonight, but if it doesn't, I'll happily redo your braids before the game." He offered, before pulling his wand out and waving it lazily around Harry's head, "A stasis charm."

"Thanks."

"Right, let's go." Draco was eager to leave and missed Hermione's hurt eyes.

"Night, Draco." She said softly, standing a little closer to Jason, who immediately picked up on the change.

The two Slytherin's were at the portrait, ready to leave when they both turned around and Harry glanced at the blonde. He knew that tone anywhere, and he subtly elbowed his housemate, trying to indicate he should have really said goodbye properly. It appeared that Draco became a little flustered and Harry noticed a light blush dusting his cheeks as they stood there, on the threshold to safety.

"If you, uh, need more help… Just," He cleared his throat awkwardly, "Just, holler."

Harry nearly stumbled out of the way when Draco suddenly turned and left the kitchens but he managed to follow him out, not before smiling towards Hermione, knowing exactly why he was acting weirdly. Jason knew also and he sighed dramatically when the portrait door closed behind the Slytherins. He rounded on his friend and took her into a loving hug, holding her tightly and nuzzling against the juncture of her neck and shoulder, rubbing down her back gently.

"He'll get there, Hermione, just give it some time. He's a Slytherin afterall; they're the toughest nuts to crack."

"How do you figure that?" She asked timidly.

"Because, after everything tonight, neither of us got that goodnight kiss." He smirked, pulling away and running his hand down her face.

"Did the two of you talk?" She asked, deciding they too should be making tracks to their common room.

"A little, but I didn't push it. He knew the rumors before tonight and I think he thought you were trying to set him up."

"Well…"

"What makes you think that I'm even interested in Harry?" The coyness in his voice gave away the façade, but Hermione knew that and gave him a look, "Okay, so you got me. I can see why people get sucked into the illusion of a mystery man. He wasn't very forthcoming, keeping things very close to his chest, but I can tell you one thing for free."

Hermione hummed with a smirked, looking to her friend.

"He has the most gorgeous and softest hair." Sighing happily and letting a dopey, dreamlike expression grace his face, they walked around the corner towards the main stairs and started the ascent up out of the Dungeons.

What they failed to see on their way out was Severus, standing still in an alcove, his face blank but his internal sirens screaming loudly. After everything he'd dealt with that week, knowledge that he had competition twisted the knife into his stomach violently, and suddenly, he wanted that green eyed beauty in his arms, right now.

 **. . .**

 _ **What's life without some friendly competition, hmm?**_


	54. Chapter 54

**.**

 _ **Authors Note:**_ _ **If you're interested, I've started up a Facebook Group listed as, 'Vicious Vixens FanFics'. The intention is to share pics and story updates… Obviously there's not much on there yet, but if you're interested, entry will cost you two answers (super simple).**_

 **. . .**

 **#Crystal Aquafina:**

 _ **Yeeeeeah, I feel like this chapter isn't going to help you with that. Lol.**_

 **#i-am-siriusly-sherlocked:**

 _ ***wiggles eyebrows* Hence, competition. Yeah, I can understand that it looks that way, but it won't really be like that. It'll be more of the situation making it difficult rather than one of them being all, "I'm holding you back". I may need you to have a little faith in me with upcoming chapters, but as always, your comments are amazing and welcomed!**_

 **#Aodrenn:**

 _ **Hmm, yeah… Wish granted ;) If you have facebook, check the note at the top of this story, I posted a picture of what inspired the look for Harry's do.**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Soooooooooon!**_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **Interesting comment, thank you :) You're right and I plan on using that for Severus's growth. Naturally, this thing Severus is going through might be the push Harry needs to make up his mind on somethings.**_

 _ **. . .**_

Undoubtedly, Severus hadn't slept well during the night, his thoughts and memories tormenting him into a restless tossing and turning game, that not only left him exhausted but in a foul mood also. He hadn't intended on making his way to breakfast on this morning, but alas, he had mustered the energy to at least see Harry since he hadn't the day prior after classes. He'd heard good news from Hagrid about class however, it seemed his Slytherin was getting bolder and more confident, and he didn't mind that he'd only attended in his wolf form because it was still progress. Though, he had decidedly kept that between him and the Grounds Keeper, just in case _someone_ didn't approve.

Keeping one eye at the main doors, the other in his coffee, he saw his new enemy waltzing into the hall with the other third of the new delicate trio and found himself frowning. It was rather ridiculous, this was a student, not a Deatheater. Severus couldn't see a reason as to why Harry would even need to be friends with the Ravenclaw, the Witch was obviously getting something out of this too if she was associating herself with such a male, but the overriding emotion he was feeling this morning left a bitter taste in his mouth, even as the coffee went down easily.

Internally shaking himself, he leaned back into his chair and sighed, had he not just been thinking that night to speak with Harry about their future? Things were going to get complicated between them with his own personal issues and one of the annoying thoughts he'd had that night was to let the teen down gently, slowly pushing him in the direction of another, more suitable candidate. But now that he was faced with such a scenario, he realised how utterly idiotic it was to have even thought it, mainly because he didn't want Harry to be with anyone else; the Slytherin made him happy, happier than he'd been in many years. It may not have shown externally, there were many reasons for this, they even stemmed back into his childhood.

Grinding his teeth at the Ravenclaw, he started to devise ways that he could make the teens life that little bit harder during classes. He'd never really paid much attention to Samuels, being one of those students that blended in to the crowd and stayed out of trouble, well… No doubt being friends with a certain scruffy haired, green eyed beauty was going to – _Merlin…_

Walking into the hall and catching his attention immediately was said student he had been ranting about and felt his entire body go into some form of shock. There, with his head bent down as Draco muttered something to him from the side, was Harry, but his hair was completely different, though it wasn't until his head raised so he was looking vaguely in his direction that he got the full effect. With his mouth drying, but not trusting any movement to down some black coffee, Severus could only blink and watch from his otherwise relaxed form as it leaned back into the chair. When the teen looked off slightly to the side, he saw the way his dark locks were braided and felt something akin to desire, pooling in his stomach that certainly wasn't a result of his coffee. However, it jerked when he saw Samuels jump up and greet the two Slytherins half way.

"Morning, Harry. I see it stayed in tact, and may I say you look extra fine this – " He had reached up to tease the delicately curved fringe that hung over Harry's temple and cheek when his wrist was grabbed suddenly, in a tight grip.

"Today, we're opponents. Don't confuse this morning for anything less than rivalry." Harry said, stopping any form of contact that was intimate.

"Of course. Perhaps we could get a butterbeer after the game, to show good sportsmanship?"

Draco huffed, "Depends if you stick to the rules and don't try to kill us."

"I'm sure I can refrain from serious injury." Jason replied, feeling his wrist being let go and nodding.

Severus saw the way Harry interacted with Samuels and felt hope building from within; not that he enjoyed watching his Slytherin conversing so casually with the Ravenclaw, but there wasn't much he could do about it, certainly not sitting here in the Great Hall. After this, Harry seemed to push past his Quidditch rival and it was in this moment they made eye contact. He couldn't deny to himself that the Slytherin Seeker looked incredible attractive, not that he didn't find him appealing before hand, they had more of an emotional connection than anything else. However, _now_ , there was a fire building, creating a warmth through his body as his eyes watched every movement until he sat down and their contact broke. There was a devilish smile his student had, almost like he knew he'd changed this about himself to get a certain reaction, and he had been right, because Severus was watching, even as he sat and started eating.

"Well, you're certainly in good terms with Samuels." Draco commented dryly.

"He did my hair, nothing more. We'll still beat his ass in Quidditch today, I have no doubt."

"Providing he doesn't start aiming bloody Bludgers at our heads to get rid of the competition."

Harry hummed, "He is a Beater, can't fault him for doing his job, but the consideration would be nice."

Draco didn't say anymore and wondered when Harry started sticking up for second rate, annoying, Quidditch players like the Ravenclaw. Feeling eyes on him, he turned his head and found Hermione looking at him, she smiled, obviously not realizing she'd been staring, but he smiled back regardless and nodded slightly. He didn't need to be focusing on anything other than Quidditch today, they still weren't out of the woods in terms of winning this year and any distractions could mean they lost the game. Oh, how wonderful it was to be a teenager.

When it was time for the game, Harry was putting the final touches to his outfit, looking himself in the mirror with a straight face. Turning his head slightly, he stuck his chin up, much like Draco held himself, and found it exuded confidence. If anything, looking confident today was going to do a world of good, perhaps Jason had been right about one thing, looking good _would_ take the sting out of losing, but he had no intentions of letting the game slip through Slytherins fingers. Lee Jordan could be heard in the gully where they were getting prepared and he felt the anticipation growing in his bones like it always did before a match. It was excitement and happiness.

"Right, you lot, gather around." Blaise commanded everyone's attention and they circled around him, Harry included, "This game is going to be interesting. I've heard from some reliable sources that the Beaters are going to be extra vigilant in their aiming today, so be careful. I wouldn't mind betting they're going to try knock the players off their brooms to enable them to slow our scoring enough for them to catch up."

Everyone nodded, looking between each other with an air of nervousness, this even included Harry, who glanced at Draco nodding confidently towards him. No, he couldn't let this threat knock him off his game, it was probably what Jason wanted anyway, the threat was there, but that didn't mean he would necessarily go through with it. Who was he kidding; if that were him he'd certainly do the same thing. He didn't want to dwell on this further, and distantly he was aware that Slytherin were being called to the pitch. It was now or never, he had to show that he could cope under this pressure, not only for Slytherin but for himself.

" – _And Ravenclaw take to the pitch._ " Lee Jordan said enthusiastically into the microphone, "Ravenclaw can almost taste the victory today, this is their second to last game for the season and everything is riding on their victory today for the play off match."

Harry shook his head, _no, it'll be Slytherin that win today._ As they lined up by the gate, the sudden rush of light temporarily blinded him but he shook it off, mounted his broom, and with Draco they kicked off and sped into the bright sunny day. He took in a deep breath, enjoying the freeing nature of being up in the air. The cheering certainly gave him an extra edge and as he did his laps around the oval pitch, he let a smile spread across his face. He loved Quidditch, and didn't understand why he hadn't tried out at the beginning of the year, or worked harder to get onto the team.

"Here's Harry Potter, settling into his position as Seeker, doesn't he look great today?" Jordan yelled into the microphone, before being promptly berated by the Headmistress.

A wave of loud cheers echoed from the stands after the loud comment, and Harry had to partially laugh to himself; _perhaps the new hair has made more of an impact than I thought_. With this musing, he smiled wider and then looked off to the teachers stand where he knew his Head of House would be. Regardless of whether they won or not, he decided that he was going to intrude on the man's space for the afternoon, whether it be talking, reacquainting, or study. He wasn't particularly fussed on which it was, just as long as they could spend some time together. The man was obviously looking at him, and he had to stop himself from reaching out and waving. _I'll be hoping you watch me mop the floor with these Ravenclaws_ , he thought strongly, before turning his attention to the game. There was no room for error, and fixed the strapping on his gloves as he waited for Madame Hooch.

Severus settled into his seat, taking his time to admire Harry as he floated above the rest of the players. The most prominent thought that circled his mind, aside from the part where he thought him to look absolutely delectable, was that he looked like a warrior. The teen's appearance spoke to him, even after all the trials and stress labored onto the teen, he was coming out stronger. Relishing in the visual joys of his Slytherin preparing for the game, he fought off a smile, despite the fact he was exhausted, it was still nice to see Harry fighting for their house.

The wind was minimal today, but the sun was hot up in the air and Harry could already feel himself getting warm. As he glanced down at the players below him, he could see Jason looking cheekily back up towards him. Feeling his face grow hotter, he huffed and looked away, there was no way he would be letting a Bludger get in his way today. As Blaise had told them all, _look out for the Bludgers but keep the game going for as long as we can_. It was going to be tough for Harry especially, he wouldn't have he luxury of sitting high up and waiting for the right time to strike because he'd likely end up being a sitting duck for Jason.

"Here comes Madame Hooch with the chest, she releases the Snitch… now the Bludgers…" Jordan recited, and Harry watched both deadly balls shoot off in opposite directions, "And the Quaffle, it's high but – oh, Chambers secures it for the Ravenclaw team – _and he's off!_ "

Harry sped off too when the game began, scouring the outer ring of the pitch, so he could keep a close eye on both Beaters.

"Chambers, passes it to Captain Davies – _ooh_ , who gets taken out by Zabini in a brutal clash, the Quaffle drops out but – _is that?_ Yes, Malfoy has the Quaffle, he weaves in and right – _ouch,_ right into Bradley of Ravenclaw; that'll leave a mark."

Draco winced and clutched his side, but it was only a dull stabbing pain he felt and kicked out to detangle himself from the brunette Ravenclaw's broom before they both hit the ground. Harry surveyed the area and found himself staring right at a Bludger that was barreling towards him. Ducking out of the way and sprinting off, he saw Cho Chang with her hand extended and a golden ball glistening in front of her. He couldn't let her get it, not that he was to end the game right now, but she couldn't take it.

The force of his speed had his hair pinned back and out of his face as he came up to her, but instead of getting rough and charging her out of the way, he clipped her foot pedal before pulling up so she didn't crash into him. Losing control briefly, she lost valuable ground but Harry kept his eye on the Snitch, and followed it the best he could.

" _Ravenclaw, scores!_ " The crowds broke out into loud cheering.

"Potter!" Harry was heading towards the lower parts of the pitch when he heard his name, it was Blaise and he made a triangle with his hands.

Nodding and gripping onto his broom tightly, he rounded the pitch behind the Ravenclaw goal posts and joined his teammates. His attention now pulled across three different elements, he kept his eye out for any Bludgers and tacked onto the end of Slytherin's next formation when the game reset after the goal. Next to him was Draco and Blaise was on his other side, with their other chaser in front of Harry.

"Slytherin are launching into their famous offensive attack, heading towards the Ravenclaws at full speed, Zabini has the Quaffle and launches in the middle of the pack, Potter replacing him – _oomph_ , infamous body slam attacks, just so typical of the Slytherins – "

" _Jordan_." Minerva frowned, kicking his shoe gently.

" – Samuels is lining himself up, a big swing from the Ravenclaw."

Harry heard the comment and immediately looked behind him, noticing how the blonde had flanked him, and gritted his teeth when he saw the smirk. Looking ahead, he could see Draco with the Quaffle, Blaise right by his side as they hopped and switched out their positions to confuse the on coming assault. The other Beater was chasing down Blaise, so Harry broke rank and sped right in front of the Beater to cut him off. Catching himself on the handle of the Ravenclaw's broom, he almost lost control but was able to hold on and escape the barrage of players that were coming up behind him. It wouldn't do to get in the way of his own players, and it was just as well he moved when he did, seeing Slytherin's other chaser, going down.

" _Slytherin, scores!"_

Looking up into the sky, Harry saw Cho, once again, chasing after the Snitch and felt his blood run cold. He couldn't get caught up in the politics of the other players and neglect the _one job_ he had to do for his team. Twisting in the direction that would mean he could stop her once more, he narrowly missed being decapitated by a Bludger that had been well placed ahead of him and growled, _I'll get you Jason._

Severus could see what was happening also, he had been watching this Ravenclaw for most of the match, regrettably, he hadn't even realised until the ball that had been hit was aiming right for his Harry. If this was some kind of game between them, he would be having words with the Slytherin about the company he keeps; did he really want to be friends with someone who was clearly going out of their way to knock them out?

Deciding that niceties had gone out the window between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, Harry had no qualms about smashing into Cho's side and pushing her out of the way. If this was the type of game they'd be playing, then he was sure as hell not going to back down. Samuels wasn't even helping his team all that much from what he had observed, but perhaps that was going to be their strategy after all? Knock out the competition to make it easier to score goals.

"Bletchley is down! _I repeat, Miles Bletchley is down!_ " Jordan cried, half standing to emphasis his point, "Slytherin are in trouble now, they're a player down, one of the more critical roles too."

Jason smiled happily, his other teammate having aimed perfectly at the Slytherin Keeper and nailing him into the goal posts to take him out. Draco sidled up to Greengrass and pointed towards the side of the pitch, Harry could only watch as they all sped off as the Quaffle was released once more after Ravenclaw had again scored. They were relatively close in points by this stage, and he made the executive decision that without their Keeper, the game was going to become unbalanced quickly. Cho was at his side in an instant and he elbowed her as he took a tight turn, the Snitch not making it easy to be caught. Then again, was it ever?

"Malfoy passes to Greengrass, then to Zabini… Chambers strikes from below, _yes, he's dislodged it_ , picked up by Stretten… Davies in for the save…"

A strangled cry from behind Harry caused him to suddenly turn around, and he saw Cho going down. With a frown he went back to the task at hand but was forced to stop when the whistle blew twice, very loudly.

"That was an unfortunate end for Chang, taken out by her own team. Madame Hooch will be having words with the Ravenclaw team, it seems."

Madame Hooch blew her whistle angrily and flew over to where Jason was hovering, looking rather stricken and avoiding eye contact. The crowd was heckling the Ravenclaw, seeing what bad sportsmanship it was, but for the Slytherin team, this was the most opportune moment to have a quick chat, changing their playing style.

"Slytherin!" Blaise called out, using the time out to gather his forces and chat about how the game was progressing, "Things could be better. Derrick and Bole, great game so far, but I think if the Ravenclaws are going to be attacking us like they are, why not play to their game." The two Beaters nodded and leaned in to smack their bats together as a sign of unity.

"Bletchley is down, so Derrick and Bole, if you can also keep an eye on the goal posts, Greengrass, Malfoy and myself are going to take things erratically. I'm thinking, high then low, confuse them and just keep moving. At this point, the goal is to survive, so Potter, you have the go ahead to get that Snitch and win us the game." At this Blaise looked past Bole's head and saw Cho Chang being hoisted up, "Chang is in a bad way, but it seems she's going back out there. They're going to know that you have the advantage, Potter. Make it quick."

"Got it." Harry replied, before they all put their hands in and chanted, but before they broke away, Harry stopped Blaise with a strong hand around his arm.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, but I have a plan, if you'll agree to it." Harry smirked, giving Blaise the best cunning expression he could muster.

"I'm listening…"

Back in the main focal point for the game, Lee Jordan was giving everyone a running commentary on what he thought Madame Hooch might have been saying to star Ravenclaw Beater, Samuels. Commenting on his _lack of decorum_ , and, _down right disgusting lack of talent_. Of course, Professor McGonagall promptly shut him down, though Severus wasn't complaining from where he was sitting.

"It seems Cho Chang is going to keep going, bit of a low blow for Ravenclaw team and Jason Samuels has been issued a warning. That's not going to look good, folks. Madame Hooch is really going for him." Jordan lacked any real emotion when he said this, and Minerva knew she should have pulled him up on the comment, but knew the repercussions were warranted.

Severus was nervous, that Bludger had come too close to Harry, but he didn't feel any better about Miss. Chang being hit either. If his Slytherin was hurt during this game, there was a very high chance he wouldn't be accountable for his actions, he would be swooping in and making sure punishments were dealt, if not immediately, then premeditated for the new week. Whilst he never really got into the game of Quidditch, it was addictive, even if his handsome brat was being beaten up, keeping him on the edge of his seat.

"The game is back in session, Samuels has been benched for five minutes in a timeout imposed by his disgusting sportsmanship – "

" _Lee!_ "

" _Just telling it how it is, Professor._ Okay, back into it and Slytherin have possession, they'll want to use this advantage to score – _and they do!_ Greengrass for the kill! That'll brighten the spirits of the Slytherins."

Harry followed Cho around the pitch for a while, although neither of them could see their prize flitting about the stadium. Five minutes in the bench seemed to go very quickly also, so when Jason was back up in the air, Harry made his way over to the teachers stand, where the Headmistress and his Head of House were sitting. He could see a gentle frown on Professor Snape's face when he stopped just to the side, and he made eye contact with the man, before looking back out onto the pitch. If Jason was idiotic enough to aim for him here, then there was something wrong with him.

" _Ravenclaw scores!"_ Lee shouted, but Harry was focused on Cho, still not having seen the Snitch yet.

As he was watching her, he saw Jason a little way in front of him and down the pitch, frowning, there was a smile on his face. Severus was watching his Slytherin, there was no way he could deny it, enjoying the way he held himself up in the air. He just happened to see the flash of blue in his peripheral before a dark brown ball came hurtling towards the stand and he was up in a flash.

" _Harry!"_

Turning his head violently behind him, the sound of his Professor's panicked voice was enough for him to know he was in deep trouble. The force of his movement, when looking back on this moment, was quite possibly what saved him from being bludgeoned in the back of the head. Twisting back towards where Jason was hovering, the chance to move was far too late, the cracking he heard and felt in his ribs was instant, and he was flung from his broom. Luckily, his well-adjusted gloves and iron grip allowed him to stay connected with the piece of wood but also left him hanging from it. Scrunching up his face and screaming through gritted teeth, the pain in his chest was excruciating and he had to let one hand go before he passed out from the pain.

 _No, Harry…_ Severus was still standing, he was watching his Slytherin with an expression, that when Harry saw it, made him feel incredibly bad. The older Wizard could only watch as the teen fought to stay on his broom. Pained emeralds were watching him helplessly, changing subtly, almost as if the fight was over. His own widened when he realized what Harry was about to do and started shaking his head subconsciously, _don't even think about it._

"Samuels has done it again, taking out Slytherin's Seeker! Hang in there, Potter." Jordan called.

But it was too late. Closing his eyes, Harry shut the world out and let go.

 **. . .**

Severus all but swooped into the Hospital Wing, nearly knocking into Poppy as he rounded the corner. However, instead of the berating for getting in her way, she almost looked relieved to see him and he gave her a questioning look. Out the corner of his eye, he could see Slytherin Quidditch robes, two to be precise, but he didn't know if they were Harry and Draco. He wasn't sure if he should be angry or glad at how the rest of the match proceeded. Much to his own relief, Blaise Zabini had been hurtling towards their Seeker and broken his fall from almost certain death. He'd then gone on to catch the Snitch, how, he didn't know, it shouldn't have happened, but it did.

"Most opportune timing, Severus. Might you lend me a hand?"

"Of course, Poppy." They walked into her office and she started pulling various medications from her cabinet supplies, piling them into a separated tray so the bottles wouldn't clink together and break.

"Two of your Slytherins and one Ravenclaw are situated at the end of the Infirmary. Potter and Malfoy both have bruised ribs, they are not complaining of any other pain so this should be enough for them." She pointed to two vials, 'Then this here for Pucey, who has a headache and possibly a broken wrist, he is to stay on bed rest until I can get to him properly."

Feeling slightly overwhelmed by the responsibility she thrust upon him, he simply nodded before she disappeared out into the Infirmary. He doubted she'd had so many injured and knocked out after a Quidditch game before and felt the agitation he'd been experiencing on his way up here growing. When he reappeared in the room, he spied Harry who was wincing as he twisted, and stood beside Draco, who was sitting on the edge of the cot, looking rather chagrinned about something and seemed grateful to see him walking over to them.

"Sir?"

"Madame Pomfrey informed me you both have bruising, so I want you to take this, then you are free to go." He explained, shooting a dangerous glare at Harry, his eyes so narrowed they were mere slits.

Harry was surprised he wasn't questioned on it further, his chest was throbbing and he knew there was something more serious than just bruising, but he didn't want a fuss made over him. Jason was standing on the other side of the room with Pucey, who was cradling his arm and wincing each time he breathed in. Currently, he wanted nothing to do with the Ravenclaw, any of them actually, he was upset and disappointed that his new friend had gone out of his way to cause so much damage, it was reckless and stupid. Casting a glance around the room, he spied Cho who had tears running down her cheeks as Madame Pomfrey was looking her over and felt sad for her. Being taken out by her own team like she had, he wouldn't blame her for being angry; her friends certainly sent dark expressions to their Beater. Not realizing that his Head of House had been speaking to both of them, he snapped his head back to the rest of the conversation, catching the last of Draco's comment about formally complaining.

"You can't do that." Harry said suddenly, surprising both his Professor and friend.

"What? He could have killed you, _and more importantly, me_." Draco grumbled, passing the empty vial back to their Head of House.

"Well, yes, but there's always a risk in the game, isn't there?"

Severus was at a loss, why was Harry defending the actions of the Ravenclaw? For now, he remained quiet and let his students have the conversation, as he would be bringing it back up later on that afternoon.

"So, what? Just because you spent some alone time with him last night, you're all suddenly super close buddies?"

 _What?_ Severus blanched.

"I told you, he offered and I said yes. Besides, you got to spend time with Hermione, so why are you complaining?"

"Are we really going to argue about this? He played dangerously, and I don't think he should be allowed to play again."

Harry shut his mouth and looked away, mainly to stare at his shoes because he was feeling very small with the barraging tone of his friend and equally haunted gaze his Head of House was giving him. For now, he just wanted to forget about the whole thing and tenderly stepped away from them both to clean himself up, he could still feel where his robes were sticking to his back. He was only a few steps away however, when the familiar deep voice called him back briefly.

"I need to see you this evening."

Not meeting the mans eye, he nodded and then left, Draco watching his friend through narrowed eyes. Glancing to his godfather, he was going to pass a comment, but refrained when he caught the exhausted expression that he sported watching the other Slytherin leave.

"Contrary to what your housemate believes, Draco, I would support your complaint." Severus drew his eyes back to the blonde.

Hesitating, Draco nodded, "I'll think about it."

The teen then took his leave, and it was now time for Severus to pull his attention towards the cowering Ravenclaws, whose eyes bulged in fright when they saw him walking towards them. He didn't have a lot of time for anyone outside of his house to begin with, but considering both Draco and Harry had been at the receiving end of dangerous actions, he felt that thin line of patience wavering.

"Consider yourself lucky that a stray Bludger did not hit _you_ in the head, Samuels." He stated plainly, noting the slight nodding motion the Ravenclaw made.

Turning back to the medications he was given to distribute, he almost missed the next comment out of Samuels mouth, and he was unsure whether he would have liked to have been given the chance for ignorance in this situation. But when he heard, _Harry_ , and _butterbeer_ , in the same sentence, he felt his sour mood take a further nosedive.

 **. . .**

"Is there a new rivalry between Ravenclaw and Slytherin I don't know about, Filius?" Minerva commented over her cup of tea.

"Not that I know of, Minerva. Though, I have noticed, and have heard rumor, that Potter and Malfoy have been spending some time in my common room. I am not sure of the nature, there hasn't been a break of peace in the area."

Minerva nodded with interest, "You did speak to Severus, did you not?"

"I did." The elf-like Wizard squeaked, before the door slammed open to showing an irate Defence Professor.

"Thank you for joining us, Severus. Better late than never, might I add."

"Apologies, Minerva. I went to see how my Slytherin's were and Poppy roped me into helping her. I have never seen such disorderly chaos after a Quidditch match before."

"Yes, hence your requested presence. Filius was just telling me that two of your Slytherins have been frequenting the Ravenclaw common room, though I suppose you needn't guess who those two would be. Tea?"

He nodded to the offer of tea, "No, I suppose this has Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy written all over it."

"Good summation."

"And what of todays match?"

"Well, I simply wondered if there was a new rivalry, Filius assures me there isn't. Would I be correct?" Minerva handed him the tea and he made himself comfortable.

"The only change I have noted is a new _attachment_ , Mr. Samuels seems to have made with Mr. Potter. However, the nature of that relationship is a mystery to me; they did exchange what appeared to be heated words this morning, in which Potter deflected an advance by Samuels." He had great satisfaction in stating that fact, not that he knew what it was about.

"And you think that might have had an impact on todays game?"

Severus paused to think a moment, and took a sip of his tea, "Perhaps. Let's not forget that _all_ of Slytherin were targeted."

"Should we speak to our houses about this? Remind them that this is a friendly game." Filius suggested, and Severus considered it a good idea.

"That might be best. I can't have the students purposefully endangering themselves." Minerva agreed, she then excused Filius, maintaining she had other school business to tend to with Severus.

"So, you went to see, Potter?" She resettled herself, pouring out another cup of tea.

"I did."

"And?"

"He is fine, well I assume he is. Both of them have serious bruising." Severus replied warily, not that it showed in his tone.

She did not seem satisfied by the answer however, and pursed her lips, "In your opinion, since you know Potter better than anyone else here," She paused, raising an eyebrow, "What was the stunt he pulled today? I believe you said he was done with any suicidal tendencies."

Oh, he was going to be having serious words with the Slytherin when he got his hands on him later for having landed him in this position. He too, thought it was odd that he give up so easily, but perhaps there was another explanation for it, what if he simply couldn't hold on any longer?

"He is, but you can be reassured I will be speaking to him further about it. Was that it, Minerva? Do you wish to question me further about the logistics of dealing with Harry Potter?"

"I had actually wanted to ask how you were settling back into your routine since the beginning of the week, but I think we can leave it here for now." Minerva sat up straighter and placed her cup down on the tray, looking at her colleague strictly.

Severus felt a mild pang of guilt and irritation for the way she turned the conversation around. Whilst he was grateful for her support through this, he still had a lot of things to process. He would visit her if his situation changed, or if there was any more information, but alas nothing had changed yet, not that he expected to find a resolution quickly. Therefore, when he was released from her office, his only destination was back to his rooms where he'd hoped that there would be a younger Wizard waiting patiently for him.

Alas, his rooms were empty when he arrived and he looked around them feeling a sense of melancholy. Things were slipping out of his control, and he didn't like it, not one bit. Whilst acting under the pretense of having control of his life pre-war, he hadn't had a lot, but now things were different. He was supposed to be able to plan his life accordingly as he entered a fresh phase in his life, such as moving away from Hogwarts, spending more time with Harry, and –

 _Spending more time with Harry_.

His knuckles brushed over the black blanket draped across the back of his couch and stared off into the unlit fireplace. Who was he kidding really? He had to admit that the thought of being with the teen after graduating was something that gave his heart a light flutter, but that was not to happen. They really needed to discuss this again, _no, we need to discuss what in Salazar's name happened today_ , he reminded himself. He wasn't going to worry Harry with the future at this point, they could broach that topic at a later date and focus on the now.

Holing himself away with his experimental potions, satisfied as he found different ways to enhance the finished products, he hadn't realized dinner had been and gone until there was a telltale clicking noise of his door. Just as he glanced up to see Harry looking at him worriedly, his stomach chose this moment to re-enact a sample of whale mating calls, and it echoed through the room. He looked away gingerly, missing the lightened mood from his Slytherin upon hearing it and had wandered properly into the room.

"I'm guessing you didn't realize you'd missed dinner." Harry commented, stopping at the table.

"You would be correct." Embarrassment coursed through his veins, and he placed a lid on the cauldron he was working on.

"Are you ever going to tell me what you're experimenting?" Harry pondered aloud, trying to see inside it.

"Perhaps." Severus replied, turning to the sink briefly, before growing a tiny bit smug, "I may even ask for your assistance when it's required."

"Oh really?" Excitement bubbled in the teens voice and he nodded.

"However, for now I must retrieve some dinner because I do not think I will last without something to eat." He was still upset at his Slytherin, but nothing good was going to come from a conversation where he was hungry.

Tempted to just wander the corridors and sneak into the kitchen, he didn't want to risk being seen by other students – not that they were supposed to be in there, mind – with Harry in tow. He guided his student towards the couch as he dealt with an elf and soon joined him, putting an arm around the teens shoulders and pressing his lips into the messed tufts of his hair. Gone were the braids and teased mop at the top of his head, instead it was his normal style, bangs covering his face and hanging almost limply. Silently, Severus admitted to himself that he would've liked to seen the braids again, they suited the younger Wizard beautifully.

"I know you're going to ask about the game."

"Am I that obvious?" Severus replied dryly, distantly hearing the popping noise from behind him.

"It's really not what you think… I… I just couldn't hold on any longer. What could I have done?"

"Then there are two things that do not add up." Standing, he looked over at the table and found the food that had been left there and held his hand out to Harry, "The first would be the statement about your inability to hold on, well, if that were truly the case, then you must be in excruciating pain currently due to a cracked rib or cartilage and a simple pain relief that was given earlier, would be of no use. The alternative, and personally the far more concerning matter, would be your resignation prior to letting go."

Having taken the hand, Harry winced as he stood up, however it was missed by his Head of House as he was led to the table. He had just eaten, rather lavishly considering his usual habits, but he couldn't resist reaching out for a chocolate covered truffle that consisted of the mans dessert. He hadn't given the man a response, knowing exactly what it looked like, but it really wasn't anything to do with harming himself… He genuinely was unable to hold on because there was no way he would have been able to get back on his broom whilst dangling in the air.

"It was planned."

Severus paused in his chewing to look at the teen blankly.

"I… Okay, the getting hurt part wasn't initially part of the plan…" Biting his lip and looking to his Professor, Harry took a painful and shaky breath, "It was my idea to position myself close to the teachers stand because I thought Jason wouldn't be stupid enough to aim at the teachers. I, uh, I thought that was kind of… _cunning_ , of me. Right?"

Severus remained impassive, continuing to eat.

"When I saw him lining me up, I knew it was going to get bad but if he hit me, then he would get benched for the rest of the game. Getting this injury was just a small oversight." Harry tried to take another deep breath, but it got caught in the back of his throat, causing him to cough and evidently, more pain.

Severus sighed, putting down his cutlery, "Harry, that is, quite possibly, one of the most idiotic things you have ever done –"

"I've done worse."

"– And no, that _wasn't_ a cunning thing to do. It was… It…" Stuck for words, Severus opened his mouth a couple of times, then seemingly gave up the hesitance, "It was the most Slyther-dor thing anyone could have done."

Scrunching up his face, Harry had a weird sort of smile, "A _what_?"

This time, despite the fact he was still disappointed, Severus had to look down, he couldn't hold back the smile that was threatening to break out, and let out a timid chuckle, which took Harry by surprise. Grinning in return, Harry had to clamp a hand over his mouth as the sentence registered in his mind and it was so genuinely pure, when he looked into amused black eyes, he felt himself falling into something. It was a shift between them, not a physical thing, but it was pulling him towards the man emotionally.

"You heard me." Severus reigned in some of that lost composure and reached for his water, letting the chilled liquid cool his throat.

"No, I think I need to hear it again."

No, Severus was never going to repeat that, never again. He hadn't even the foggiest idea why he'd decided to say it, but he had and it was completely true. No true Slytherin would have put themselves in a danger like that, only a foolhardy Gryffindor would have, but he couldn't deny, the idea to position himself as he had, was a little cunning. Shaking himself from the moment, he sobered and warily eyed the younger Wizard.

"We need to get you looked at. If you _do_ have a cracked rib, it needs to be mended."

"Can't you do it?"

"Harry, I am not a Healer."

"But you fixed me last time." Sounding almost desperate, Severus took a deep breath.

"That was merely a cut. Let's not also forget the implications should the Headmistress have found out what had happened."

Harry had tried to put that behind him, but he was correct of course. Surely mending whatever was wrong with him would be easy enough? Wouldn't a Skele-Grow work on him? He'd just need to take it easy and in the morning, would be _right as rain_ , as Madame Pomfrey put it.

"Please, don't make me go."

Severus considered the teen in front of him, twisting his lips as he thought about what he should do. The obvious action would be to take the teen to Poppy, but he could understand the hesitation for doing so and it would mean they would have to part ways sooner than he was ready for. The implications for partially or incorrectly healing Harry could have drastic issues in the future, especially if he were to pursue a physical career. Not wanting to take his chances with it, Severus finally shook his head, he wasn't going to play with the teens future like that, he wouldn't be able to live with himself.

"Sir, please."

"I'm sorry, Harry. I just can't do that." And with his final say, he stood, disappearing into his bedroom and slipping into his outer teaching robe.

"Now?"

"Now. Let's go." Severus was almost at the point where he would have picked his Slytherin up if he didn't move, but fortunately, he listened.

 **. . .**

 _ **Drama in Snarry paradise. *sigh***_


	55. Chapter 55

**.**

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Welcome back, and just in time for an update too!**_

 **#darkangelfantasy:**

 _ **So glad you like it! Enjoy the update.**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Hopefully I'm forgiven in this chapter then?**_

 **#CallicaXx:**

 _ **I guess you won't like me much for this chapter then… I'm completely NOT sorry. Some people just need that extra push before admitting things, right?**_

 **#phoenix-rob:**

 _ **Okay, so my friend showed me a quiz thing where you were a mix of both houses, so I couldn't really resist. I'm a bit of a Slyther-dor myself and thought Severus could do with some tender moments. Glad you liked it :D**_

 **#Suma Akila:**

 _ **No way? Really? That's a shame… I see if I can't send you the link via messages. I know people can find it because there's a few people who are added.**_

 **. . .**

"Harry?" Hermione called in surprise, her mouth falling open at the sight of her friend in Hogsmede.

Harry was initially happy to see her, but when he saw that Jason was clinging on from just behind her, his mood took a nosedive. He was already feeling bitter that he was unable to spend more time with his Professor last night, due to _one_ person who had injured him further than he could be healed by the man. Still maintaining he would have been fine, the eye daggers he'd sent his Professor when he'd left his side that night had made its impact and could see remorse when they'd entered the hall for breakfast. He supposed he couldn't stay upset at the man for long however, he had only done what he thought was best for his health and should have really been more considerate.

Things were complicated though, he was there to try and comfort the older Wizard, not for the man to be worrying about _him_. It had all gone sideways, and not according to plan, which was why everything that had gone wrong in the last twenty four hours was now Jason's fault. Not particularly wanting to be near him, he tried to snuff them both, but Hermione wasn't having any of it and stomped after Harry, grabbing his arm to stop him. The jarring made him wince as he twisted his chest and tore the arm out of her grasp.

"I'm not angry with you, Hermione, but he hit a Bludger to my ribs, and thanks to him, they were cracked and I had to spend the night in the Infirmary."

"Y-You did?" Jason had walked up to them and Draco sneered at him.

"Harry, he's really is sorry. If you could just hear him ou – "

"He's your friend, not mine, Hermione. Let's not pretend otherwise." Harry replied, trying not to look at the Ravenclaw Wizard's face.

"I can understand why you're upset, I feel really shit about what happened… But Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall were very stern with me. I won't be allowed on a broom until we graduate."

Harry blinked in surprise; when had his Head of House had the spare time to chat with Jason about all this? No, that wasn't the point, he'd been hurt and for all intents and purposes, it had been deliberate. Hermione wasn't going to give up however, knowing that their friendship could be crucial for Harry in the long run and suggested they get a butterbeer to calm things over. Draco wasn't impressed of course, and turned his nose up at the idea, peering back over his shoulder in the process and seeing a small group of their Professor's walking into the township. Seeing his Godfather was relieving, and he grew smug when he turned back to the others. He knew full well there would be some tension when the man saw who they were talking to, but his expression soured when he realized he would be implicated in that also.

"Do whatever you want, I've got things to do."

Hermione's eyes widened, and she turned towards the retreating Slytherin, feeling torn between staying and trying to smooth things over with him. Harry saw this, noted her expression, and sighed heavily, knowing he was going to regret what he would say next but knowing her happiness was more important than his own currently.

"Go, Hermione. I'll… We'll talk."

She hesitated for a moment, but when Draco disappeared around the corner of a building, her panic rose, and she ran off after him. Harry ran a hand through his hair in frustration, he didn't want to be stuck with the Ravenclaw, but it seemed that unless they spoke about whatever it was, this wouldn't go away and he'd rather not have tension within the group.

"This means nothing, just so we're clear."

"Harry, I just want to apologize. Please, let me buy you a drink?" He asked with concern.

Nodding, Harry conceded and when the Wizard turned towards the Hogshead, he shook his head in resignation before following him in. The pub wasn't too busy, and he made a beeline for a table in the corner, away from other people, whilst Jason bought them a round of drinks. It was only when the Ravenclaw had sat down, placing the jug in front of Harry that Severus walked into the pub also with the rest of the staff. Initially, he hadn't seen his Slytherin, not expecting to see him at all in Hogsmede, but the moment he did, all the blood in his body ran cold.

Was the Quidditch game not enough for Harry to realize this student was bad news? How could he not see that there were purely selfish desires that Samuels acted upon? The Slytherin had been through enough pain and suffering at the hands of others to have been able to understand when someone wasn't genuine, but there he was, sitting at a secluded table in the Hogshead with someone who had been targeting him yesterday, injuring him seriously. As much as he didn't want to stay, Severus knew that he would have rather kept tabs on the two of them and elected to blend in with the rest of his colleagues who were scouring the menus for something enticing.

"Draco!" Hermione called, catching up to him slowly.

The blonde stopped and turned at the sound of her voice, he too felt torn. She looked concerned but nodded in the silence, confirming that she knew things were tense. Whilst Harry and Jason had gone into the pub, _hopefully_ , there was a café next to Zonkos Joke Shop and suggested that they get a coffee. There was no hesitation from Draco however, he was actually glad to be alone with Hermione, despite the fact things were getting complicated between their respective friends.

"I really hope this isn't going to put a barrier between us." She commented, taking a seat against the padded wall seat.

"As long as he stays away from me, it'll be fine." Draco commented, taking a chair opposite her.

"We don't need to be talking about them right now, but just know that Jason is _really_ sorry about what happened. I know I've pushed a bit to have him getting friendly with Harry, but that doesn't mean you have to be friends with him too."

"Why are you pushing it?" Frowning, blonde brows knitted together gently.

"Well, don't you think Harry needs someone to talk to?" She too frowned but was soon preoccupied with their coffees that arrived.

"About what? He already has weekly meetings with Professor Snape."

She huffed an amused puff through her nose, "I doubt he talks about his explorations amongst men with Professor Snape."

 _So, I was right_ , Draco narrowed his eyes, leaning back in his chair but then Hermione's eyes grew wide and she sat forward immediately.

"You didn't – He hadn't told you?"

"Contrary to popular belief, Hermione, we don't share every little detail about our lives. It's kind of how our friendship works, both of our lives are complicated."

" _Shit_ , he's going to kill me if he knows I told you."

"What's the big deal anyway? Worse things have happened, and weren't we supposed to be talking about other things? Like, oh, I don't know, the fact you're lying about struggling with Arithmancy?" There was no real anger in Draco's voice, but he was a little disappointed in being lied to.

Hermione had the good grace to blush and let her finger circle the lip of her cup, "Sorry, I just wanted to spend some time with you."

"Then just ask?" He shrugged, wincing gently at having to state the obvious.

"Oh… Well…" She stammered, then paused to compose herself, "Would you like to spend some time together this week? Aside from today, of course. I may not need tutoring for Arithmancy, but it would be nice to have a study partner."

"I'd be amendable to that." He nodded, letting a small smile pull at his lips.

Severus had hardly touched his food, having the perfect position to watch his Slytherin and the Ravenclaw conversing together in the corner. He would admit, he'd been staring the entire time, but it didn't seem like Harry even knew he was there with the group and they certainly hadn't made eye contact with each other. None of the staff appeared to notice either, that, he was grateful for, and attempted to weakly pick at his food.

The conversation between the two students was hushed, and with their mouths partially obstructed by the odd sip of their drinks, he was struggling to lip read. The actions on the other hand, were very clear, and he tried his best to remain calm in the setting. Samuels reached out and placed a hand on his Slytherin's forearm and apparently said something humorous, which caused Harry to laugh. He could hear the laugh from where he was sitting, and the brunettes face lit up at whatever was said. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to look away and join in the conversation around him.

The time soon came however for the staff to leave and it seemed the group standing caused Harry's focus to come off the Ravenclaw and towards them; but more precisely, onto Severus. There was a spark of recognition at this, and almost relief from Harry as he went to slip into his coat. Horace took his attention for a moment, and Severus nodded at what the man was saying before the group began to disperse. Peering over his shoulder, he made contact with Harry once more and simply raised an eyebrow to the teen as a slow smile started to appear on the youthful face.

"Well, Jason… Thanks for the butterbeer, but it's getting late and I should probably get going." Harry said, giving him a curt smile.

"Oh, okay, well I'll walk back with you, then?" Jason offered, but Harry wasn't looking at him, instead he was formulating a plan in his head that would make his journey back to school more satisfying.

"Thanks, but I'll be fine. There's something I need to do first anyway." Distantly responding, Harry gave him a quick smile, before he too shrugged into his coat and darted away from the corner.

When he made it outside, he could see his Head of House ambling along the main drag, crossing at an angle to what Harry believed would be entry into Honeydukes. Sighing, he decided not to follow and instead saw the telltale mop of blonde hair with a linked arm around his best friend. Knowing he'd done the right thing, Harry smiled at them, and when they saw him, made a beeline for him. It was nice to just be the three of them, as they ambled back towards the castle, but Harry couldn't help wondering if it would have been better if Jason was with them to balance out the group, so he didn't feel like the third wheel.

 **. . .**

Harry wouldn't have said he was avoiding his Head of House, but he certainly made it difficult for the man to pin him down until their mid-week session in the man's quarters. He could tell from the glances during classes and downright nasty sneers during dinner that there was something going on between them, some tension that was building, and Harry could only guess that it had something to do with Jason. Of course, he was right, as the moment he walked into the man's main living area, he was accosted. First, it was the tight hug, which turned into a passionate kiss, then the berating. He couldn't say he was overly surprised, but it was actually easier to keep the peace rather than outright ignore the sandy blonde when Hermione was with Jason.

"Sir, can we please not rehash this argument?" Harry sighed, his shoulder sagging as he stood unenthusiastically in the arms of his Professor.

Severus noticed the slightly rigid form and stepped back, looking down upon his student with worry. This wasn't the right time to be bringing this up again, he should have known better; but admittedly it was hard and he couldn't work out why he was so wound up about it all. Conceding, and lightly apologizing, Severus made his way to the couch and indicated Harry should sit too. The younger Wizard did so, sitting at the other end of the couch initially, but when they made eye contact, he caved and slid across the cushions, so he could get into his comfortable position across the man's thighs. Immediately comforted by his seating arrangement, he allowed his head to relax against his Professor's shoulder and took in a deep, calming breath.

"So, Hogsmede?" Severus started, not forgetting that this was a huge achievement for the teen.

"Yeah… I made it. The forest doesn't seem to be much of an issue for me anymore. I mean, it was hard not to overthink the possibility that something could go wrong and get anxious. Especially since you weren't with me and I was walking through in my human form… But I did pretty well, right?"

"Indeed, you did," Severus agreed, angling his head to press his lips into the brunette locks, "I am _very_ proud with your accomplishment."

He wanted to finish the sentence by stating, _despite the horrendous fact you were seen spending a generous amount of time with a bully_ , but he kept quiet. Instead, he leaned forward with Harry under his arm, a familiar brown paper bag sitting on the coffee table and plucked it up. Placing it into the teen's lap, a knowing smile crept onto his face, and green eyes warmed as he reached for the opening. Grinning at the contents, Harry picked up one of the chocolate cauldrons and popped it into his mouth, filling out one of his cheeks as he did so.

"Milestones deserve to be celebrated, Harry."

After he said this, he found his space invaded and chocolate tinted lips pressing into his own. Now, Severus wasn't a big fan of sweet things, but he couldn't deny that when it came to Harry, he would happily accept anything the younger Wizard would give him. If that meant his decision on chocolate changed, then so be it, because the taste drove him simply wild. Their kisses, whilst sometimes light and loving, could also be passionate and hard; but Severus found he wanted more and craved to taste more. With an experimental tease from the tip of his tongue along Harry's upper lip, he was granted forbidden access into the sweet mouth.

Having been unable to properly chew his chocolate, the dairy product had melted on Harry's tongue, and when another gently pressed it against, he was rewarded with an unguarded sound that had worked its way up from deep down in his Professor's throat. This was new, exciting, and mind numbingly erotic; so much so, that Harry felt himself sagging against the man's body as he was orally caressed. Long gone was the bitterness about what had happened in the weekend, he didn't care about being beaten up by Jason, all he knew was that in this position, right here, right now, he never wanted to move.

Severus, of course, had some self-control and put a pause to their exploration, but Harry could tell he wasn't unaffected by their actions as a light blush dusted his otherwise pale complexion. He could only imagine what _he_ looked like, already feeling his body was too warm and wanting to strip down some layers, before noticing that he had a very stiff problem. Embarrassed, he hid his face just as his Professor was about to say something and mumbled incoherently into the shoulder.

"I am afraid that I did not understand that." Severus commented wryly.

Harry, blushing hard, removed his head from its position and looked down between their intertwined fingers, "I said, thank you."

"You are most welcome, though that does not explain why you appear embarrassed suddenly."

Harry wanted to be buried. Instead of responding however, he shifted their hands, his forearm now covering something that might have been obvious, but he didn't want to make a big issue about it. Shaking his head, he half shrugged to avoid the conversation and instead went into for another activity that didn't involve any speaking. It seemed that there was no resistance when he did so and removing one of his hands from the pile, raised it to his Professor's chest, sliding it up, over his chest and across his shoulder. Harry could feel the soft ends of the man's hair brushing against his knuckles from where they moved, so feeling bold, he managed to press his fingers tips into the base of his Professor's neck, feeling for the roots of black hair.

Taking a gentle pull on those lengths, he heard a gentle sigh from the older Wizard, who then pulled him closer by the arm around his shoulders. His other hand unwound from Harry's and moved across athletic thighs, curling fingers around the leg and caressing it. This time, it was Harry who made a sound, whining, almost in a keening fashion, at the touch and as a result of what was happening. Everything was so gentle and soft, taking it slow but building pleasant hormones in his body. If he didn't want to move before, he certainly wasn't going anywhere soon now. It was an ache in his lower half, a buzz in his mind, the thoughts floating within him at random or not at all. Keening again, Harry had to stop before he wanted things to go further, his body urging him.

"Who knew this could relax us both?" Severus commented, moving to press his lips gently to the side of Harry's neck.

Moaning, Harry tensed up, and went to shift only to gasp at what he felt against his hamstring. Unsure of whether he was imagining things because he had something in particular on his mind, Harry altered his position and was not mistaken when he was met with a solid object at the back of his legs. Biting his lip and tilting his head as the man started to suck and nibble gently just under his ear, he pressed his legs together in an attempt to feel some kind of pressure. His hand tightened in the ravenous black strands, inadvertently pulling on them so Professor Snape was pulled away from that sensitive spot. Unable to control himself, Harry let his head fall back and against the arm across his shoulders, his eyes closed.

Severus couldn't help but admire the sweet expression on his students face, he'd seen happiness and anger, but now he was seeing pleasure. It was different, prohibited and exotic. That forbidden apple had fallen from the tree and Severus was only too happy to scramble to it, pander to its needs, and those included capturing the next moan and silencing it with another tender kiss. He didn't want to lose Harry, this was the most content he'd been in many years but there was still a threat to that happiness.

" _Wow… What is happening?"_ Harry breathed out, his half-lidded eyes unfocussed when they made eye contact.

"Things that are being enjoyed. Should we stop?" Severus commented softly, his deep voice even more seductive when an octave lower than usual.

"Probably…" Harry sighed, pushing his forehead against the man's collarbone, missing the almost hurt look.

"For the best, it is getting late."

"What _is_ the time?" Harry half whined.

"Past curfew." Severus commented after a quick glance.

Harry then mumbled something, possibly unintelligent, before showing his beautifully flushed face and placed the chaste of kisses to the corner of Severus's mouth. Untangling himself from safe arms, Harry went to move his feet to the floor and was confronted with an obvious bulge in his trousers. This was inevitable, the man was going to see it, _feel_ it even, when they went to part ways with a final embrace; so, with that in mind, he stood suddenly and blinked as blood rushed from his head.

Severus watched him stand, feeling cold where the teen had been pressed up against him. He considered asking his student to stay this evening, but on a school night, he decided against it. There was a part of him that wanted to keep Harry impossibly close so that things and people couldn't try and tear them apart, but he knew that wouldn't be a wise thing to do. Instead, he was going to have to take matters into his own hands. First it was Gryffindor's tormenting his Slytherin, then it was Ravenclaws trying to steal him away.

Something needed to be done.

"No goodbye hug?" Harry pouted down at him as he remained where he was.

"Of course, forgive an old man for being slow." Severus commented dryly, causing a light giggle to come from his student.

"Don't be silly, sir." He continued chuckling, and extended his hand to the man, not really helping him up, but bringing them together once he'd stood.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, I guess." Harry sighed, being led to the door.

"Behave, we will reconvene at the club after classes." Severus really didn't want to the teen to leave, but his sentence sparked an idea in his mind.

"I always behave." Pouting once more, Severus pushed his bitterness aside and leaned down to press a final kiss to his students lips before shooing him out the door.

 _Yes_ , Severus thought, _dueling club_ …

 **. . .**

Dueling club was once more in session, and Harry was showing a group of Hufflepuf fourth years how to cast a Jelly-Legs Jinx. He stood behind one of the girls and changed her stance gently, earning a giggle from her as he covered her hand with his own and showed her the precise movement. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes at her, when he stood back, he had one of the others stand several meters away to be the test dummy as punishment for their wayward thoughts towards him.

Draco was nearby; the group of Slytherin's from the same year were having issues with the basic charm, _Protego_ , and were discussing wand movements when the blonde felt a presence behind him. It was their Head of House and he was nodding his approval at the lesson Draco was teaching, but had another offer for the group, angling his body and pointing towards where Harry was standing.

"Oi, Potter!" Draco called across the room, getting his housemates attention.

"I'll be right back," The brunette said to the girls, making his way over.

"You're going through a jinx right?"

"Yeah, Jelly-Leg. You're doing shields?"

"You already know what I'm going to say, don't you?" Draco smirked and Harry nodded, looking proudly at their Head of House.

"Get them into the middle, I'll see if the girls want to challenge the Slytherins. I can't say they'll agree though…" He added the last bit just as he glanced over his shoulder at the girls who were watching him and he guessed swooning, "Anything to get their attention off me."

"Okay, round them up." Draco nodded, turning back to the Slytherins, and Severus narrowed his eyes after the statement..

Standing at one end of the hall, Harry had the most confident of the girls up on the stage with him, as Draco had one of the boys. He was coaching her through it, this wasn't going to be a duel, but he wanted to see if she could focus enough to hit a fellow student. Draco was smart, if the shield wasn't going to work, he had no doubt he would block it, and to prove his point, he let a wry smile pull at his lips as he changed the girls stance.

"All right, remember what I told you?" He asked, and she nodded.

Harry could tell the wand movement wasn't quite correct, so he held out his own wand and had her follow the movements clearly. When nothing came out however, she looked a little down, so he stood behind her, like he had with the others and physically directed her through the motion. Putting a bit of his own magic into it, he directed the jinx straight at Draco but was pleased to see it rebound off a wandless shield, much to the amazement of those standing around the stage, watching.

Severus was pleased to see his two Slytherins showing such dedication to the club, even if Harry's methods was not something he as a teacher would have ever gotten away with. Hypocritical thinking, he knew, because the night prior, he'd had Harry in his rooms, embracing the teen until he was a sack of bones lazily nuzzling into him. His happy musings were interrupted when he saw Harry smile and wave out to someone by the doors, and was irritated to see two Ravenclaws standing there, waving back. _Samuels_ , he growled to himself, narrowing his eyes distastefully at the sandy blonde, wondering if he could justify simply kicking him out of the club.

"Any time, Potter." Draco drawled from the other end of the stage, and Harry focused on the Slytherin's once more, coaching the Hufflepuff through her movements.

She was successful and in return the jinx was deflected successfully so the Slytherin wasn't walking around with jelly-like legs. The girls were a little disappointed by that, they'd wanted to actually see the effects on their rivals, but Harry had to remind them that they had been able to cast it, regardless of the fact it was blocked. After this, he met Draco in the center of the stage and sat along the edge, whilst his friend slid off and stood next to him. It was then that Severus decided to speak with his students, showing his approval for their methods.

"I'm going to speak with Hermione." Draco said quietly when the praise finished, and Harry watched the blonde wandering off, giving Jason the cold shoulder.

"You are certainly suited to teaching, Potter." Severus commented, he had both hands in the pockets of his robes as he spoke.

"I know you're not just saying that, but could you really imagine me taking on a class and teaching them this stuff? I can't. I'd get sidetracked or something and they wouldn't learn anything. Besides, who would want me as a teacher?" He gave his Professor a soft smile at this, but the man simply shook his head.

"I would, for a start." They then shared a look between them, Harry still smiling, as he put his head down so he could look at his shoes.

"You're biased."

"But not a liar." He was itching to run his hand through Harry's hair, refraining for now.

The brunette then looked over to where his friends were standing, Jason off to the side, and he could feel the bitterness rolling off Draco in waves. It wasn't until he looked back up at his Head of House, that some of that aura was actually coming off the older Wizard and he sighed. The issue was clearly far from being resolved, but he was in two minds about where he should go, if he left, then his Professor would be upset that he walked away for the Ravenclaw, but at the same time, he wasn't at the dueling club for Professor Snape.

"We have not done much practical spell work as of late," Severus suddenly, pulling his attention back to Harry, "How about a demonstration whilst you're up there?"

Harry knew that tone, it wasn't actually a question, more like a polite way of telling him that's what he would be doing. Hiding his less than amused expression from the man, he nodded and propped his heel on the edge of the stage as he went about hoisting himself up.

"Yes, how about Mr. Samuels?" Severus commented, looking Harry square in the eye, unblinking.

" _What?_ " Harry whispered, half hissing.

"Well, I can only imagine how upset you must be about his actions over the weekend. Perhaps this can be punishment for the unjust way in which the game was dealt with."

Harry frowned before shaking his head, something dawning on him, "No, this isn't about me, this is about _you_ , isn't it?"

"If you do not want to, I am sure Draco will be amendable," At this Severus twisted in the direction of the group, "Mr. Malfoy?" He didn't seem to be taking Harry's words seriously at all.

" _What are you doing_?" Harry slid off the stage and grabbed the man's arm without thinking, and immediately withdrew it.

"I am offering you the chance to get even, Potter."

"Yeah, well I don't need to get even with him. It's fine."

"What is _not_ fine, Potter, is your attitude." Severus gritted his teeth, aware that they were in no means the best position to be having this conversation but was about to use that to his advantage.

"Yes, sir?" Draco came over, Hermione and Jason tailing but not within earshot just yet.

"Duel Samuels, will you? Potter here, does not feel up to it," Then in the next breath he addressed the room, " _Mr. Samuels?_ Up on the stage."

Harry was staring his Professor down, his emerald eyes hard and drilling into black holes in front of him. This wasn't just some ploy to get even, Professor Snape was using him to get penance for the fact everyone was hurt in the Quidditch game. How many times were they going to argue about Jason? _Why_ were they even fighting about him? After all they'd talked about over the year, how much Harry hated to be used as a tool or weapon for another's disposal, the older Wizard was certainly doing a great job of making sure he felt like that.

"With pleasure." Draco smirked, and went to walk forward, when Harry put a hand on the blondes chest.

No, Draco didn't want to do that, because if he did and Jason got hurt, then Hermione would be in another awkward position where she'd be torn between her friend and new romance. If anyone was easy to hate, it was Harry, and he knew that in time the Witch would forgive him, especially if he explained what happened. If this was the way Professor Snape wanted to play things, then fine, but it would be the last time it ever happened. Actually, this seemed more than just bitterness towards another student just because of the weekend, and if he thought about it, at no point was the man ever nice about the Ravenclaw. Had he heard something that might have caused him to feel territorial… or, Merlin forbid… _Jealous_?

The realization, whether true or not, washed over Harry immediately, causing him to feel a deep rage building within his magical core. This was a show of power, obviously, but two could play that game; if Professor Snape wanted him to duel Jason out of spite, then he would do so, but at a cost he didn't believe the man would appreciate. So, with his mind made up, he gently pushed Draco aside, and stepped into their Professor's personal space.

"You want me to choose? Then fine." Growling and giving the best death glare he could muster, Harry then pushed past them and went to the end of the stage.

Hermione frowned, watching the interactions of three Slytherins at the other end of the hall and held onto her friends arm as he moved towards the platform with confusion. She had a bad feeling about this, especially when Harry seemed to be the one who would be dueling him and had to voice her concern.

"I'm not entirely sure what's happening, but please be careful?"

"It's only Harry, I'll be fine."

 _I'm not so sure_ , she thought, but gave him a reassuring smile, "Just remember that he will throw a lot of non-verbals at you. Do you remember that duel against Professor Snape the other week? You might want to think about it as you prepare."

"As I said, Hermione. It'll be fine, he won't hurt me." The bright smile had Hermione wincing, not wanting to burst his bubble.

" _You_ hurt him this weekend, _Draco_ doesn't want to talk with you and _Professor Snape_ is continually glaring at you every day. _Harry_ won't go easy on you, if anything, you can trust me on that." She explained, and the façade dropped away.

"I know exactly what this is." He sighed, turning away to avoid more conversation and taking his spot on the dueling area.

Severus swallowed a lump that had developed in his throat, the situation not sitting right with him the moment Harry left his side. When he finally saw the teens face again, it was full of pain and anguish, something he had promised would never happen in his care. _You want me to choose?_ The words stuck in his mind, stopped any ill thoughts he had about Samuels in that one sentence. Had Harry been able to see through his mask for what his bitterness really was? A petty jealousy? He was a fool, a blind and stubborn chump for having done this to Harry.

The walk across the stage was a strange one for the Slytherin, he didn't particularly want to do this, Jason was still sort of a friend even though things had happened to have justified otherwise. Eye balling his opponent, they met in the middle and simply looked at each other for a moment, Harry taking a deep breath before even daring to utter a word. What was he supposed to say? _Sorry, this isn't what I wanted but my over protective boyfriend is –_ His eyes widened, Professor Snape wasn't his boyfriend, well… he wasn't was he? Growling, his nostrils flared as he attempted to remain angered by it all, regardless of his relationship with his Head of House, this shouldn't have been a position he was put in to.

"Don't go easy on me." Jason said, his voice slightly timid compared to usual.

"I expect the same." Harry replied, pursing his lips.

Jason hesitated, then brought his wand up to his face, "I know the Slytherins aren't exactly my number one fans right now and you all have a right to hate me."

"We don't hate you." Harry mirrored the stance, though his words didn't show much conviction.

"The whole reason why I'm up here is because Snape is being his usual self, because I hurt his house. Am I surprised? No."

"Treat this like a normal duel, whatever happens after this, we can forget about what happened at the game." Harry was surprised at how levelled he was speaking, when internally he wanted to hex someone.

"You're too kind, Harry."

"Save that till afterwards." With a curt tone, Harry then spun around, his eyes immediately seeking Professor Snape's.

Jason was right in a way, the older Wizard was acting like a typical asshole, the one he had been on the receiving end all too often in his previous years. But, in that realization, Harry saw the difference in the situation, he was now a Slytherin, categorized in the same regard as Draco had been, it was unjust. It was a major flaw the man had, it was petty and silly, but at the same time that was Professor Snape. He _was_ a bitter man, a _sour, twisted,_ and _mean_ individual – one who looked absolutely wretched and hollow in that specific moment their eyes connected. What did that matter, anyway? He deserved to feel crap for what he was doing.

Could Harry have stopped this? Of course he could have, but there was that little part of him that didn't want to spit the dummy so publically; entertaining the man for now and appeasing the rest of the student body was what he thought best in the current situation. He just hoped the ramifications were something he could deal with.

When he moved his eyes away from the man and up at the stained-glass window, his heart rate increased and vision distorted. A loud thumping in his ears drowning out the idle chatter in the room, and making way for the echoed scream from Professor McGonagall – _coward!_ – He remembered what had been said that night, what _he_ had said to Professor Snape, only to have been proven wrong and accused a, for the most part, innocent man of murder. This made his anger subside, the confused emotions swirling around him. The wand in his hand felt cold, almost as if it were dead, and he knew what this meant. Ollivander had been right, his indecisiveness and dishonesty within himself was going to mean he would be powerless in a battle.

Severus met his Slytherin's eye again, and the twisting in his stomach reminded him how much he had destroyed the trust Harry had put in him. _You want me to choose?_ No, he didn't want Harry to choose, he wanted the teen to be happy and if that meant he was going to be happier in the arms of another male student, then Severus really had no right to tell his Slytherin what he should be doing. Even though it was subtle, he could see, almost feel, the internal conflict his student was facing and wanted to immediately take everything back. Why did he have to be like this? What had possessed him to act out so irrationally even though in his mind the entire night before, he had run this scenario a million times, none of them painted him as the asshole.

Jason was readying himself, wand half raised as he waited for Harry to turn around, but when he didn't, there was a brief look down to Hermione who was standing at the edge of the stage. She shrugged and pressed herself against the platform to get a better look and caught Draco's eye from the other end of the stage. He was frowning, and they shared a glance. _Why is he doing this if he doesn't really want to?_ Draco thought, seeing that his friend was struggling.

He was about to say something, before he saw Harry turning around and addressing the Ravenclaw, face of thunder and wand raised. Nodding with a pleased smirk, his grey eyes slowly found Jason and folded his arms in preparation for absolute annihilation.

The first curse was a bright one, Hermione had been right, and she bit down on her lip with both arms folded across her chest as she watched the assault. It was a mostly silent affair, Jason had a few non-verbal abilities, but everyone that knew the two of them, could tell Harry was taking no prisoners today. The Witch watched as a spell hit her housemate in the leg, a freezing charm that meant his movement was now limited and would be relying on shields to get him through the remainder of the duel.

Harry didn't let it last long, he put all his energy into having a quick resolution and finished with a flourish, ducking from a returning spell, and spinning on the balls of his feet in a three sixty maneuver. Sending the knock back jinx silently but powerfully down the stage, it hit Jason full on as he was unable to scramble up a shield in time and he flew back dramatically. There were various shouts of congratulations through the crowds, most of whom were showing their appreciation for the Ravenclaw to have his just desserts handed to him after being kicked from the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. Hermione looked helplessly between Harry and her housemate, but with his brief nod, she understood and went to Jason.

Severus called the duel to an end at that, but when he turned back to address Harry, the teen was already wildly staring at him with disgust. It was like a knife to his heart, which only curved deeper when he watched Harry jump down from the stage and made for the main doors. Draco could sense something was amiss but held back for a moment before following his housemate, going over to see Hermione because he could tell she was upset.

"Before you say anything, Hermione, I deserved it… I really did."

"Are you okay?" Both Hermione and Jason were surprised when Draco emerged from the crowd, his tone and expression unreadable at that point.

"I'll be fine. I don't suppose another apology will make things any better than they are?"

Draco seemed to consider something for a moment, recalling the heated discussion between his Godfather and housemate, in what seemed only a few minutes prior. There was already bruising appearing on the Ravenclaws arms where his robes were rolled up, he could hear the taunts in their direction about, _disgraced Ravenclaws,_ and people saying, _Samuels deserved it_. In the grand scheme of things, punishment had been served, he had lost his position on the team and was slowly losing the respect of his peers. To Draco, that meant he was personally in a better standing, so by burying the hatchet with the Ravenclaw, he knew it would positively impact his growing relationship with Hermione.

"I think you've suffered enough, right?" He held out his hand to help the Wizard up, seeing the relieved expression on the Witches face.

 **. . .**

Sitting in the room of requirement, Harry stared at the dummy in front of him with an angry expression. He half wondered how he could transfigure the mannequin into a double of his Defence Professor so he could take out his frustrations, but lacked the appropriate charms on how to do so. What had he been playing at full well knowing how it was going to impact him. _Stupid man_ , he ranted silently before standing abruptly and letting his anger explode. Wand pointed at the mannequin, he shot off several curses, screaming them at the top of his lungs for naught of a better way to let loose.

He could already feel things slipping away from him, the hold he had on reality blurring between what he had experienced a year ago and what was happening right in front of him. He could recall the blistering fury he felt towards a man he now considered to be romantically involved in – _how dare you stand where he stood! –_ The whispering was back, at full force and reminding him of where his place was in the grand scheme of things – _He trusted you!_ – Yes, and so did Harry, he'd trusted Professor Snape with his health this year, but what had he done with it? Thrown it back in his face like it was nothing.

Falling to his knees, the anger disappeared, and his emotions built stronger by the second. Everything was starting to crumble around him, reality was slipping away. But, it was like a strike of lightning, a jolt hit the juncture of his neck and cutting straight through him, and he saw the face of his wolf before his very eyes. _Meditation_ , that's what he needed to do. Closing his eyes, his body was already shutting down on itself but he still had that one piece of him that could remain grounded in the present, it was a sign, his Animagus was obviously far more relevant to him than he ever could have imagined. Water, that's what he could see… His magic was like the flowing water of a river, coursing through his veins, his life blood. Calm.

Minerva was walking through the corridors, on an errand run when she felt the force of strong magic coming from the upper levels of the castle. Considering it strange when there was a dueling club in session, she decided to investigate and followed the source to a place she deemed the focal point for the strong waves that buffeted the schools wards. When she arrived at the location, there was a clearing of a throat from behind her, and she was unsurprised to see Albus leaning against his pet Hippopotamus, stroking his beard.

"Albus."

"It's Harry in there, I think something happened this afternoon, he was unusually unsettled, especially from his consistent behavior as of late." The grey Wizard explained, lightly rubbing a hand over the animals head.

"I had been meaning to catch up with, Potter. Is there anything I should be aware of before I enter?" Minerva asked, pursing her lips gently.

"Well, I cannot say what he has been doing specifically since I cannot enter…"

"Something powerful, I assure you." She sighed, nodding to the portrait and turning towards the door.

Silently pushing and entering the two large doors, she witnessed Harry Potter obliterating a dueling mannequin with one slash of his wand, pummeling it into sand, where it disappeared into the grates in the floor. Blinking in surprise, she could feel the power rolling off him in waves, before another mannequin was crushed by an unknown force, that had been word – and _wandlessly_ – crumbled into the shape of a matchbox. Then, with the balling of both fists, a little cyclone of energy wrapped around Harry, blue in colour before it started to turn a bright shade of red.

"Fuck, you really can't leave it alone can you? Just go away!" Harry shouted, conjuring up another doll, both wand and other hand raised toward it.

Minerva simply cleared her throat, surprised at the language but knowing it wasn't directed at her specifically. The brunette spun round, mostly in fright, and immediately lowered his wand and bowing his head. The magic within the room slowed, calming itself and she could feel the castles wards supporting the teen.

"Headmistress! I am _so_ sorry for the – I wasn't yelling at you, I swear." Panicking, she held up her hand and gave him a curt but ambivalent expression.

"I had surmised as much myself, Potter. You must be here for a reason if you are intending on exploding the upper levels of my school." Her tone suggested disappointment, but her expression was softer than that.

Scratching the back of his neck, Harry sighed and nodded, but didn't want to go into the specifics. Even though he was dealing to a crap situation with his Head of House, he wasn't about to go telling her all the gossip, he knew exactly what she would do if that were the case and preferred not to make matters worse. Besides, Professor Snape had said in the beginning, if he was feeling stressed or needed to let off some steam, then this was the place to do it; even if said man was the reason for his outburst.

"Just feeling a bit stressed at present, Professor."

"Well, I can imagine with your preliminary exams coming up." She gave him a gentle smile, as much as his ex-Head of House usually did, "Or, is there something else?"

"Complicated friendship groups, just the usual teenage drama that you've probably heard a million times before." Harry snorted, and walked over to the wall where he'd thrown his robes.

"Was there anything I could potentially support you with, then?"

Slipping into his outer robe, he regarded the question carefully, before deciding against it. There wasn't really much to discuss, well, not much he _could_ talk about. It was soon becoming apparent that he had worked himself into a corner, getting involved with Professor Snape. He couldn't help it though, he felt safe and secure with the man, there was a hole that had been in his heart, his _body_ , all these years and weirdly, it was now that he realized what it was. It was love, but not romantic, it seemed deeper than that.

"Not really, I mean, you're far too busy for my kind of drama." He gave her a humored tight smile, walking towards her.

"Potter, I don't claim to know the full extent of your daily life here at Hogwarts, but I would like to hope that you are finding everything you require here, that your needs are being met. Your classes seem to be excellent, your marks show this… How are things with Professor Snape? Are you still meeting regularly?"

Thrown slightly by the question, he nodded, "I see him every week. It is a relief that I can talk to someone about things." He left out the part where they were fighting.

"Good, that's what I had hoped to hear." Harry's brow crinkled at her tone, "But, you know, the year will come to an end and your graduation will be right around the corner."

Harry knew what was coming next and beat her to it, "I appreciate your concern, Professor, but I understand things will need to wrap up. I'm almost there, the… reduced nightmares and such…"

Minerva nodded, and understanding expression gracing her features, "Very well. And, how are your future plans for employment? I imagine your applications to the Auror division will be completed soon?"

 _Oh no_ , Harry groaned internally, was she really going to be pushing this matter again? Why did everyone think that was what he wanted to do? It simply shifted his anxiety from Professor Snape to his employment choices, and whilst in hindsight that was a good thing, he couldn't help but cringe at the recurring topic. He figured, in the moment, he would humor her, it wouldn't hurt to at least have options, right?

"Actually, I hadn't thought about it… Where would I find them?" He asked curiously.

"Well, it just so happens that I have some in my office. It was the intention to start making copies for your career day afternoon, but I'm sure we could figure something out. Would you like to do that now?"

"Why not." Harry replied, thinking that being with the Headmistress was better than being anywhere near his friends or Professor Snape.

"Wonderful, I had actually been on my way to run an errand. Why don't I meet you by my office, say, fifteen minutes?"

"Sounds good." Harry agreed, and they both left the room.

He missed the previous Headmaster lurking in the portrait directly across the hall when they left, but Minerva was aware of the Wizard's presence and raised an eyebrow at him. They then went their separate ways. Draco was heading up the stairs when he bumped his housemate on the third floor, nearly colliding and both jumping when they saw each other.

"All right, Potter?"

"Good as can be, I suppose. How's Jason?" He asked, merely out of curiosity.

"He'll live, you didn't really get him all that badly. He went to the hospital wing to have his bruises checked, but apart from that… Did you want to talk about what's going on? Like… Maybe what just happened in the Great Hall?" Draco went to stand in front of Harry as they rounded the corner and into a balcony alcove, secluded from the rest of the school.

"I just feel like I need some room to breathe. The friendship thing with Jason after having to deal with Cormac and Ron is just exhausting. I don't know where to look or who to trust. I'm putting a lot of faith in Hermione that she knows what she's doing with him, as well as Professor Snape, who seems to have taken a certain interest in making Jason's life hell."

Draco snorted at the last bit, "He's only acting like he has for the past eight years," He started, but then hesitated, his mouth poised to speak.

"Say it."

"She told me about… you liking blokes, or something." The tips of Draco's ears reddened, "Not that it bothers me of course. Doesn't change who you are, and I wasn't expecting you to tell me or anything."

Harry took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, looking out over the green lands and woodened areas. Whilst he didn't want people to know, having the blonde find out wasn't going to be the end of the world, especially when he was taking it as calmly as this. Though, he expected there had been a cooling off period in which he was able to process it before confronting Harry with his knowledge. Oh well, if Hermione was going to be telling each others' secrets, he had one of his own to tell Draco and he wasn't sure how well it was going to sit. Too bad he was in a foul mood and didn't mind sharing it right now.

"I won't lie, it is a bit of a load off knowing you're okay with it. Thanks, by the way." He offered a genuine smile to the blonde, who nodded awkwardly and then both looked out at the scenery, "I mean, it's fine really, she told you my secret, because she told me yours."

Draco side eyed Harry briefly, curious.

"Why didn't you tell me you'd mastered your Animagus?" Harry asked, looking at his friend.

"She told you _that?_ "

"Is it really that big of a deal? Learning this stuff is such an achievement, and we could have gotten up to so much mischief this past month."

"Why? Because are you forgetting the day with that Mad-Eye imposter? If I had of known that was my form, I wouldn't have wasted all my efforts into learning it."

"Hey, nothing was wasted about that. You should be celebrating." Harry sighed, and Draco ran an anxious hand through his hair.

"I'd rather not have Weasley or any other Gryffindor who was present that day to make the connection."

Harry could understand, but at the same time he wanted his friend to know there was nothing to be ashamed of, he couldn't even begin to imagine Ron trying something as dangerous and lengthy as his Animagus. He'd be shoveling so much food into his mouth, he wouldn't know he'd swallowed the Mandrake leaf until it was too late, nor would he have the patience to wait at least a month for it, the three of them had almost gone crazy due to exhaustion and lack of food.

"Believe what you want, Draco. I'm proud of you, excited _for_ you, and maybe the three of us could go into the forest one day? Let me tell you, it's completely different when you're in an animal form."

Whilst skeptical, Draco nodded and remained silent. He might consider taking Harry up on his offer some day, but not in the immediate future; it may have been a couple of months since he completed the process, but that didn't mean he was any more accepting of the fact that he was a bleached blonde ferret with a black fur marking on his left arm.

 **. . .**

 _ ***winces* Okay… who's mad?**_


	56. Chapter 56

**.**

 **Authors note:** _ **I hadn't intended on this being the monster of all chapters… But it was hard to find the right place to stop. So, here you are – after 56 chapters, I'm sure a lot of you will be relieved, maybe?**_

 _ **Side note: Not many comments in the last couple of chapters. I can only assume you're still enjoying the story? If not, you know where the review box is :)**_

 _ **. . .**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **I agree whole heartedly, people CAN change their minds… It's always frustrated me though, that when you're in high school, they make you choose your career path so early. What you wanted to do when you're ten or eleven, could be completely different when you're seventeen! (Mind you, our education system in NZ is rather backwards).**_

 **#geekymom:**

 _ **THANK YOU :D**_

 **. . .**

Meeting with the Headmistress later had been rather beneficial, and as he sat in the hall at lunch the following day, he scoured various application forms that could potentially shape his future. The Auror Division looked most complicated, there were several different pieces of parchment he had to fill out, everything from athleticism to what Arithmancy scores he got, to even his bloody family history. Well, that last one was a little harder to fill out, how was he supposed to know if his parents suffered from high blood pressure? And then, of course, his Defence Against the Dark Arts class and Potions were paramount to his selection.

Speaking of which, he had Professor Snape after lunch and his heart constricted painfully. Apparently the man had come to find him that night after dinner but utilizing the blessed invisibility cloak, there was no way he was going to be found. Naturally, Draco had questioned him about it, but Harry hadn't wanted to talk. The blonde knew they were close, that he was friends with the man, and hoped that he hadn't put two and two together with the whole, _gay,_ talk yesterday, that things were closer than appeared. If he had, nothing had been said about it and hoped it stayed that way.

Now, his housemate was sitting next to him, reading through one of the other applications Harry had taken from the Headmistress about Healer internships. Hermione and Jason were absent; thankfully, neither of them wanted more drama to end their week. If anything, a quiet weekend was exactly what they were after and the brunette leaned over to voice this to Draco when he spied the two Ravenclaws leaving for class.

"Aside from meals, I doubt there is anywhere else I will go."

"Well, we wouldn't even have to leave with the right snacks at our disposal." Harry shrugged, a subtle mischievousness gleaming in his eyes.

"I like the way you think, Potter." A smug smirk was his reward before it disappeared suddenly, "Unless you want to get cornered, time to bolt."

Harry knew exactly what that meant and sprung up from the bench, quickly grabbing his bag and various bits of parchment. Draco was a little slower in his actions, but shooting a wary gaze down the hall at their Head of House, he was silently telling the man to not approach them. A strange expression appeared on the man's face at this, Draco noted, but it seemed he understood and slowed his pace to allow them to leave unhindered.

Of course, neither of the younger Slytherins had noticed a dropped piece of parchment in their haste to leave, but Severus did, and was careful to pick it up on his way past. Glancing at the form, it had a Ministry stamp on the bottom in gold lettering. It was an official document one might fill out if applying for something important; as he read through it, he realized what it was and couldn't hold the surprise off his face. Was Harry really going to apply?

 **. . .**

"Today, we will be using your occluding shields; each student will come forward, I will use a Ministry approved style of the legillimens spell and test out what you have so far. Believe me, there is _nothing_ I have not seen… However, consider it extra incentive to shield your mind from my intrusion _should_ there be something you would rather I _not_ see."

Several students groaned at this but Harry wasn't worried, he'd had Professor Snape at his worst, so this was going to be a walk in the park. He had avoided the man well up until this point, kept his eye contact to a minimum and it was only now that he was forced to acknowledge his presence. There was still a lot of bottled anger, it hadn't really dissipated overnight, but he couldn't help feeling confused about experiencing these bursts of energy. What he was struggling with was the fact they were fighting, they shouldn't be, it was supposed to be a good time for them at the moment, exploring things and getting closer, not arguing and taking out frustrations on each other.

"Weasley, you're up first." Severus called, looking around the room lazily and hoping to catch a certain Slytherin's eye.

Harry watched his ex-friend take the front of the room, with a dark smirk he felt satisfied in the reactions he showed when the spell was cast into his mind. _Now you know how it feels, not pleasant is it? Asshole._ He was recalling the times in which he and Hermione had badgered him about learning Occlumency and having no sympathy for the fact he was failing and couldn't throw the man out. He risked a quick glance at his Professor when it seemed like the man was about to finish up and saw a glare being sent to the Gryffindor.

"Weasley, are your intentions to become an Auror?"

Harry's heart skipped a beat when the man mentioned it.

"Yes, sir."

"Then the academy would be greatly disappointed that a simple mind spell could not be blocked. If they call upon me to be a reference for your talents, I would have no issues in telling them that your efforts are insulting, at best."

" _Ouch_." Draco sniggered, looking at the red head with a pleased smirk.

"Longbottom." Severus called next, but Harry was watching Ron as he leaned over to his friend, wondering if it were true that they would ask for references from their Professors.

" _You know, I'm not sure he's really thought about the future. Does he think he can just skate on through?_ " The brunette whispered.

" _Probably, wasn't it you that said they were just using your fame?"_

Harry grumbled, _"Thanks for the reminder."_

" _Just here to keep that big head of yours from getting too large."_ The blonde snorted, as Neville walked sadly back to his seat.

"Malfoy."

Draco stood and confidently walked up to the front of the class. He had been through this before, the Dark Lord having paid special attention to him when he first got roped into joining the ranks. He knew it was to see how pure his intentions were to the cause and he could remember the vivid pain that was associated with his mind being raped like it had. Thankfully, it was his godfather who had come to his rescue afterwards, providing his own soothing perception of the situation and giving him some pointers on how to stop a full attack by others.

Deploying his shield, he was able to hold the man out for a few moments before an image of Hermione popped up and the protective layer wavered, just enough for the older Wizard to slip past it and bring the entire memory forward. It was of their trip to Hogsmede, he saw himself looking at Hermione and feeling disgust towards Jason before he stormed off. Hermione's hand on his arm created a warm current that had him smiling in memory of that day, but the scene kept going and soon he was sitting there speaking with the Witch about Harry, finding out he was into men and why she wanted Jason around.

The sudden extraction from his mind had him stumbling backwards out of sheer surprise, and he shook his head to focus. When he looked to his Professor for feedback, there was another strange reaction on his face, almost like betrayal or something else that he couldn't otherwise identify. But when his godfather saw he was watching, the impassive mask was back up and he was given his feedback.

"Well done, Malfoy. Ten points to Slytherin for your creative works, pity you let your emotions weaken your shield. No matter what the situation, those cannot happen."

"Yes, sir. Thank you." Nodding, he went back to his desk as the next student was called forward, " _Bloody Hermione_." He said quietly to Harry when he raised an eyebrow, and the brunette laughed.

As the class continued on, Harry scoured his notes for anything that might make the shield stronger. If he could nail this, he would feel incredibly proud, even knowing that it wasn't the full spell, it would be a considerable win when looking back at the checkered past he had with this area. It was slowly dwindling down to the last few students and Harry knew that he was going to be picked last, obviously as a veteran at the discipline, whether he was successful or not, he wouldn't have put it past his Professor to make an example out of it. Merlin forbid, however, if Professor Snape decided to keep him back and test things privately. The knot of anxiety started growing.

"Potter."

Finally, finally it was time to go up and show the older Wizard that he wouldn't be intimidated or pushed around. He'd taken into account what had been said after Draco's testing and had been meditating subtly over the course of the period to put away any emotions that didn't need to be there. There were people and things that he just didn't need to be showing the man right now, not when they were on volatile ground. He actually decided to use some of the negativity to show that things weren't okay, that there was a clear rift between them. He needn't have worried however, when he went to stand in front of the man, he had the same expression that he'd seen so little of. It spoke volumes and he knew the man felt terrible for what had happened; but no, there weren't to be any excuses. What Professor Snape did to him was wrong, he wasn't a weapon, not a toy for people to play with and discard when they were done.

Waiting patiently in the correct spot, he narrowed his eyes at having been kept in suspense as the man was writing something down. However, when he finished, they made eye contact for the first time since the dueling club and those bitter thoughts returned in full force. To emphasize his point, Harry frowned, his eyes turning incredulous for a moment before Professor Snape stood and walked up to him. Taking a step back, Harry's eyes grew dark, which turned into confusion when a hand was held out, palm up.

"Forgive me, Potter, I would rather not have another incident as previous encounters have led to. Your wand."

 _Oh_ , Harry thought, half nodding though it was mostly to himself as he handed it over and aware of some quiet chuckles coming from the others. The moment he stepped back into position, his shield already intact, the man struck, using the watered down spell but using it to the fullest capacity. He wasn't surprised at all when an imagine of Jason's face came into the front of his mind, but he remained strong and didn't budge. Overall, it was a successful round and he found the man backing out quickly, unable to have grasped anything.

"Unsurprising, Potter. A well executed shield, strong, and impenetrable." Harry almost shivered at the articulate way in which the man spoke, but then he remembered what had inspired his shield and remained stone faced.

"However, I know you can do better. Prepare yourself."

Harry frowned and went to open his mouth, but before a word could escape, he felt the full weight of his Professor invading his mind. The shield he had originally hadn't been fully erected, and he scrambled to protect himself before he had the chance to latch onto a memory. Naturally, he was most worried about what could be used against him in the future; it was always the same when he was training in his fifth year. Actually, this was _exactly_ like back then, the unhinging and damaging spell was just as strong as he remembered and it was obviously because of this that made his Professor such a proficient Wizard in the discipline.

Struggling, and managing to hold the man out for longer than he had ever been able to, the shield finally cracked and Jason's face came into view once more. The pressure of him entering the memories hit him with such force that he physically stumbled back in surprise and fell on his backside. It was intrusive, painful, and felt as though his head might have exploded. Twice this had happened, once when Professor Snape had really just had enough of his petulance towards the lessons, and the other time when Voldemort attacked him at the Ministry. It caused him to recoil, unable to cast any form of protection on his mind, as memories floated up into the forefront. This seemed all too familiar, Professor Snape was looking for something, but he could sense there was confusion and something uncertain about the man's presence in his mind.

When an image of the Hogshead finally popped up, he knew instantly what his Head of House had been looking for and was forced to watch the awkward time he had with Jason after Draco and disappeared with Hermione in tow. It was the end of their meeting, Harry had just seen Professor Snape and was relieved to see him there, but now reviewing it again from a marginally different perspective, he could tell there was a worrying element to that expression. Had Professor Snape been genuinely concerned about them being alone together? Is this what had prompted the rather brute attack in dueling club? It wasn't about the Quidditch game at all… It _was_ jealousy.

Obviously having seen enough, the visions cleared and the throbbing, skull-crushing pain disappeared from his mind, leaving him exhausted and sweating. He noted that he was now on the floor, the wood cool against his back, and decided this was going to be the best place for him until he got the feeling back in his legs to even attempt standing.

"For those of you who have not seen in person the devastating effects of the full spell on an individual, consider yourselves educated. What occurred with Mr. Potter, was an intense attack on a vulnerable mind, unknowing to its sudden presence."

" _So, I guess he isn't that great at it_." Ron whispered to Cormac, who sniggered.

"On the contrary, Mr. Weasley. Potter, here, showed immense power to have been able to throw me out eventually. Ten points to Slytherin for your efforts, Potter, and five points deducted from Gryffindor Weasley, for your atrocious attitude towards the discipline and in my class generally."

There were some quiet whisperings from the other students at this, and Ron could be heard lightly spluttering. Draco was leaning to the side and watching to see if there was any movement from his friend, to which he was surprised to find, there wasn't. Aside from brutal shaking, his friend was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes unmoving, just looking.

"Marks will be given in the new week. Your project is the next assignment that will be required at the end of break. I suggest you start thinking seriously about what topic you wish to research for me to sign off on before you begin. If you do not have a topic this time next week, then one will be assigned to you."

Dismissing the students shortly after this, Severus looked down at Harry, who was visibly shaken from the experience and was beginning to think there was nothing he could do right. Perhaps he should have given the teen more warning before using a full scale Legillimens, it was clear the brunettes mind was still weak and vulnerable to penetration. His next class was going to be filtering in soon, so he went and stood at the teen's feet, slipping one shoe between his slightly parted legs and held out his hand.

Harry was simply blinking up at the ceiling, feeling eyes on him, so Severus bent down and forcibly took both hands, hoisting the teen up suddenly. There was a stumble and a pressing need from the younger Wizard to hold onto his robes, but it had been as if touching something incredibly hot and Harry backed away from him. There was an exhausted glare sent his way, but he said nothing, simply turning back to his desk to take the teens new wand and holding it out. It was taken, in equal silence, the rest of the class non-existent to them as they watched each other carefully.

Hermione was the one to take his shoulder, her face coming into view was a welcomed distraction but it didn't stop the churning in his stomach to worsen the longer he was in the mans presence. He looked at her, slightly dazed and feeling weak, but she understood and turned to Draco, speaking but Harry couldn't understand what was being said.

Severus had a small bar of chocolate in his desk, he knew if should be offered, but was unsure how it would be received. His Slytherin seemed to not want anything to do with him, and whilst he was unsurprised it hurt, made him feel things he didn't ever want to experience again. Instead, he remained where he was standing and took note of how Draco and Granger escorted the skinny brunette out of his classroom. There was no reprieve however, and the next class of third years that started filing in were all wide eyed when they saw the state of Harry Potter, almost being dragged from the classroom.

 **. . .**

"It was a gross abuse of his authorities and powers to use that on, Harry. What was he hoping to achieve? Look at what state he left him in." Hermione was only voicing her concerns, and simultaneously rubbed gentle circles on her friends back as he sat there numbly, "I don't care who Professor Snape thinks he is, or what happened in the past, there was no need for it." She finished, and Draco nodded, standing suddenly.

"Where are you going?"

"I have a meeting with Professor Flitwick, I'll see you at dinner." Draco lied, giving her a brief smile, before leaving the two Ravenclaws and one Slytherin.

Jason was watching Harry carefully from across the table, "So, this Occlumency thing is hard?"

Hermione noted Harry wasn't going to respond and nodded, "I have a lot more respect for you Harry, now that I know what it feels like. A million apologies still wouldn't cover it." She started saying to Harry, before turning back to Jason, "It's quite a strange sensation, things can pop up involuntarily – " Hermione stopped suddenly when she felt shaking under her hand and was just in time to see her best friend burst into tears.

"Oh, Harry… What's the matter?"

The sobbing was relatively quiet, only a couple of individuals who were close to them would have heard, seen even, but a louder croaked gasp caught in his throat and she soon found him curling into her arm, pressing his forehead about her shoulder. It seemed that things were welling up within him, perhaps they should have taken him to the Infirmary after Defence so he could rest, this was concerning.

A knock on Severus's office door roused him from the marking he had buried himself into once classes ended. There was a lot to think about and that control he so craved was disappearing from him, leaving an anxious trail in its wake. He shouldn't have been shocked to see Draco opening his door once being granted entry, the expression he wore bared similar resemblance to the wary one that he seemed to be a regular occurrence.

"What can I do for you, Draco?" He asked, sitting back in his chair and placing the quill down.

"I was hoping you might have a spare minute, there's something I wanted to speak with you about."

"Go on." Severus motioned for the chair in front of his desk.

Making himself comfortable, Draco dropped his back to the floor and wrung his hands anxiously, "I had a letter from mother."

"Ah, I see." He wasn't sure why, but the relief that followed such statement caused his insecurities to take a back seat and he was able to bring forth his god-fatherly duties.

"It was about my plans after graduation, she wants me to work in business, managing portfolios and investments, like father did."

"Was there really any surprise that this might happen?"

"Between that and organizing my arranged marriage, you mean?" Draco worried his bottom lip, something he only ever did when extremely unsettled.

Severus considered him for a moment, knowing his hands were tied, "Victoria Wilbert would make a fine wife. Her family are – "

"Perhaps, but she's not the one I like."

"Miss. Granger, I presume?"

"Sir, what can I do? You saw for yourself today how she makes me feel, there's something special about her… She's intelligent, smart and witty, beautifully sarcastic… "He trailed off, fighting a smile, "I know she is a Muggle born, but that isn't something which means anything to me now, not having gotten to know her this year." Sighing, Draco swallowed and crinkled his brows, his worry evident.

"Your mother will need some convincing, especially if you intend on making your own career tracks." Severus replied, leaning forward in his chair and steeping his hands in front of his mouth, "Perhaps start with that, though I cannot guarantee any success. I might be able to speak with her, knowing your intentions, however, you know as well as I do that some things cannot be negotiated."

"That's what I thought. Should I even bother applying?" Draco reached into his bag and pulled out the application form for a Healers Apprenticeship at St. Mungos Wizarding Hospital.

Taking the form from his student, Severus glanced over it, pursing his lips at various intervals. Everything was there, he was more than capable of completing such a course and he knew the teen personally, he wouldn't say Draco was ready for it if he didn't think he was. Nodding, and handing the form back, Severus assured the blonde everything was in order, that he should go ahead and apply without Narcissa's knowledge. It was better to have these things set up regardless, that way there could be no regrets for not having followed the dream in the first place. Whilst grateful, Draco still seemed to be stewing about something, so he offered the teen some tea.

They had managed to keep the topics away from another certain Slytherin, up until the point where Draco was getting ready to leave. Standing behind the chair, hesitating on the last few steps towards the door, Severus watched grey eyes searching out his area for something. But just as it seemed they were done, Draco was half turned and looking at him with thoughtfully.

"He had a nightmare lastnight – well, night _terror_ I suppose would more accurate."

Severus swallowed, his body going rigid.

"First one he's had in months, woke both Blaise and I, very early I might add. Curiously, they have come back when there is clearly something happening between you both. Might be why he kept saying your name over and over too. What's going on?" Draco had now fully turned his body back towards his Head of House.

"I do no believe that is – "

"When _my_ sleep gets interrupted because Harry's screaming out in pain from his memories, it _becomes_ my business." Draco snapped.

Severus sighed, some of his usual mask slipping away as he resigned himself to admit that there was an issue with his newest Slytherin. Draco didn't need to know exactly what it was, that would be far too risky, and _that_ certainly wasn't any of his business, but he did need to get Harry alone so they could talk. All prior attempts had been fruitless and he didn't want to corner the teen either, he knew it would end explosively. What was he going to say first off? He knew an apology would be necessary, though it was ultimately his pride that was taking a major hit.

"I need to speak with him, Draco. He cannot avoid me forever."

"Then perhaps I can help with that." Draco offered.

Severus had to resign himself to the help; he wasn't going to be able to pull this off by himself.

 **. . .**

Draco whipping the covers off, rudely woke Harry from his slumber and exposing his thin pajama clothed body to the cooler temperature of their dormitory. Grumbling, and still partially asleep, he attempted to get said covers back, only to find himself landing on the colder floor and hissing at the contact. Yawning and rubbing one eye with his free hand, he was able to blearily make out the image of his housemate, wondering what had possessed the teen to do something so blatantly and downright disrespectful for a weekend morning.

"What do I owe the pleasure, Malfoy?" He snapped, one eye feeling heavier than the other when he tried to coordinate opening both simultaneously.

"I've done something stupid." He commented, and Harry sat up, grabbing for the mattress of his bed to get off the cold flooring.

"What? What's happened?"

Draco looked around the dormitory, but it was just the two of them in there, "I can't say here, just… There's something I need to do first, can you meet me in the kitchens this afternoon."

"Seriously? Just tell me now; no one is here."

"Just meet me there will you?" The agitation in his friends voice was concerning Harry, and he found himself nodding, even though he had no idea what was going on.

"Fine, fine." He sighed, seeing that the blonde was fully dressed and looked as though he had been for a while, "What's the time anyway." Harry yawned again and felt around the bed for his wand, sure that he hadn't put in of the bedside table like usual.

"You missed lunch." Draco replied, feeling silly for still holding up the covers his friend had been sleeping under and threw them back at him unexpectedly, causing Harry to fall back onto the bed.

Grumbling, Harry rubbed his face, trying to keep himself upright, " _Shit_. _"_ He swore, having made good on his promise on not moving anywhere. The door slamming closed jolted him and he noted that Draco had left the room. _What's so important he couldn't just tell me?_ He thought staying horizontal and looking up at the canopy of his bed. Well, it was technically the afternoon; there was no specified time that he was supposed to be meeting… _Damn Draco, why are you doing this?_ Rolling out of bed, he grabbed his towel from in front of the fire and headed for the showers.

He wouldn't have been surprised if it were something to do with Hermione, it seemed like they were in a relationship now, not that it was any of his business but he felt a little strange that nothing had been said since they were both technically his friends. Even thinking about it had Harry seeing the image of his torn Professor, looking at him as if he could break down into tears any moment. He shuddered at the involuntary memory of the Great Hall. _Asshole_ , he countered the somber thought with, he didn't need to be thinking about the man right now.

Back in the dormitory, he set about getting dressed, pulling on some jeans and then reaching into the drawers for a shirt. He paused when he saw the lines in his arms, a reminder of how broken he had been earlier in the year and comparing himself to how he was dealing with everything now. It was strange, he saw these lines and felt nothing but pity for himself; even though he was in a bad space at present, he couldn't even fathom trying to do this again, regardless of whether his wand would let him or not. It was a testament to how far he had come, and perhaps, just maybe, he would be okay without Professor Snape by his side when he graduated. The left forearm was a little different; this time he experienced sadness, a deep emotion that reminded him that there were still deep-rooted issues, demons that would get better with time, just like this these would.

Slipping into a long sleeved top, he covered them up, not particularly wanting to dwell on the past like that and shrugged into a jacket before leaving the dormitory. There were other students scattered around the common room, but not one of them was Draco, nor anyone from his year actually. He hoped the Slytherin wouldn't keep him waiting, whilst he didn't have any plans, that didn't mean he wanted to be stuck in the kitchens for the rest of the day.

Expectedly, he was met with a quiet kitchen, the elves ambling around with various dinner arrangements, no doubt, but no Draco. On cue, his stomach made a deep grouching noise, and he spied some of the chicken pie that had been served up for lunch. The moment he sat down, a slice was diligently placed in front of him and he smiled at the elf, thanking him.

Eating until he was full, he propped is chin up in the palm of his hand and pushed around the leftovers across the plate. Checking the time, he sighed and lazily took a sip of pumpkin juice, staring at the back of the portrait that guarded the too easily accessible kitchens. Hope bloomed in his chest when he saw it crack open, before inhaling the mouthful he had when his eyes laid on the one person he didn't want to see. There, skulking in the shadows was the unmistakable outline of his Defence Professor.

"I should have realized this was a set up." Harry huffed, slamming his short goblet down on the table and feeling a cool drop land on his hand, "By all means, come in."

Severus kept to the wall and slowly made himself seen, coming into the light but looking very hesitant in whether he should approach further. Harry seemed okay with him being here; but then again, when did he let the actions and feelings of a teenager depict how he could act? Taking a breath, composing his tone, Severus was here to make things right, and stepped further.

"You have not been easy to track down."

Harry gave him a blank look, then stood, making it clear he was about to leave; but was stopped when the man reached out and grabbed his bicep. The contact felt like a jolt through his body, and the anger from during the week returned.

"You knew better than anyone that I've been built as this machine for people to use at their disposal, and what did you do? _What did you do, Snape?_ " Harry yelled; both fists balled to contain his rage.

Severus did nothing but stand there, his face ashen.

"That's right, you did _exactly_ what everyone else has done! Do our interactions this year mean that little to you? Were you lying when you said that we'd get through this together? What about unchaining those wings you so passionately spoke of, hmm? Freeing my mind? Was this all a game to you?" Harry's face twisted in bitter anger.

Still, Severus said nothing and Harry wasn't sure what frustrated him more, the silence, or that he wasn't even fighting back. In the past, their arguments had been explosive, but standing in front of the man here, confronting him as he was, there seemed to be a resignation about his posture and in his eyes. Yes, Harry was upset, and he knew there was a right to be in this situation, but the wounded man standing a few feet away from him was throwing the argument. So, in a very un-Harry way, he changed tack, letting his own emotions simmer down until they were tucked away.

"You hurt me. Even after you said that you wouldn't… And Jason? What did you think was going to happen there? He's a _friend_ , someone my age who went through the struggles of being a teenager who was different than anyone else. You and I never talk about that stuff, about feeling confused and trying to act like nothing is different, hiding from your friends something so personal… Not telling them because they'll think you're going to – to jump on them, or something. Don't you trust me?"

A spark of something flashed in Severus's eyes at the question, "Of course I do."

It might have been the first thing he'd said in the recent minutes, but frankly that was one of the more important issues between them. Yes, he trusted Harry, but he didn't with Samuels; as Harry said, no, they didn't talk about homosexuality or any of that but that was mainly because it was a given between them that things were going slowly. He assumed that their explorations were part of that, not once did he think that talking about it would ever be as beneficial as truly trying it.

"Then why go through all of this? Why test our limits because you have some jealousy towards the attention I get from someone else?"

Severus didn't know what to say to that, all he could do was hold back his emotions that were bubbling harshly under the tightly pressed lid.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" Harry cried desperately, "Do you not want me here anymore? Are you done with me?"

" _What?_ " Severus could only gasp with disbelief, "No, that's – that is not it, at all."

"Then _what_?" This time, it was a distressed plea, Harry was done being angry.

Severus took in a breath, looked down at his shoes for a moment, and let the curtain of black hair fall around his face; this wasn't the place to be having this conversation. Looking towards the portrait, he indicated that they should leave, what he wanted to say, well they were personal and absolutely disregarded school rules. But in the face of his adversary, with _Harry's_ troubles, he believed this is what they both needed. Pleased that Harry followed him out, they silently walked the corridor to his private rooms and let them both inside. From there, the eerie quiet stretched, Severus thinking what to say next, and the younger Wizard waiting for it.

"There was absolutely no intention to push you away, Harry. It was wrong to – ask what I did of you; I should not have put you in that situation with Samuels. And you were correct, this says a lot about me. If it is any consolation, I checked in with Filius to ensure he was not harmed, even though he injured half the Quidditch team during the weekend." At this, Severus took a breath, looking down at his shoes for a moment, and continuing in a very quiet voice.

"I – Everything is slipping away, Harry. I'm losing everyone - thing."

"I'm not going anywhere." Harry replied resolutely and at this, Severus looked up to his student, his eyes glazed over with an unshed tear.

This man, the usually strong and stoic Wizard who had saved Harry countless times, was standing in front of him looking completely broken. He wouldn't have minded betting that one more hit and the man would crumble in front of him, it was painful to even watch, but he had been serious about being there for his Professor, he wanted to help. It was certainly seeming like the actions over the past weeks had been a result of stress and self-doubt about their futures, together and separately, and whilst Harry wasn't going to forget what Professor Snape had done to him, he was able to push it aside.

"Please, do not leave. I will understand if you do, and I will take responsibility for the anguish my actions caused…"

Harry could feel his own eyes tearing up at the sight in front of him, and suddenly, with a sob that escaped and tears that broke through, he took those few steps in front of him to close that empty distance between them. He was met with a strong embrace, arms and robes encasing him in a protectively fierce hug, squeezing and unwilling to ever let go. It hurt Severus to hear the crying, the emotional release from what had been building slowly, and it was then, only then, that he let himself get caught up in the sentiments as he buried his nose into the ravenous locks. His chest restricted in two jerked movements as he attempted to hold onto a little segment of his composure, but the lone tear that worked from the corner of his eye when he squeezed them shut, slowly trickled down his cheek and caught in the teens hair. It may have been singular, but it packed years of emotion, feelings that had been buried for so long and ignored.

Harry was mumbling something, but Severus couldn't quite make out what it was because he had pushed the teen so hard into his robes in an attempt to never let him go, that he hadn't realized his strength. Loosening his arms gently, the younger Wizard shifted his head and pressed it against the juncture of his shoulder and neck, taking a deep breath, holding him tightly.

"Harry, words will never be enough to express how sorry I am. You are correct, jealousy overtook my rational thoughts, it should never have happened."

"Words, huh?" Harry sniffed, all but wiping his nose on the mans black robes because it was running, "What about actions?"

Severus shifted a hand, sliding it up Harry's back, caressing it as he went, until he stopped at his nape. He held the teen in place for a moment, wanting to savour the relief he was feeling before he took the plunge. Harry said he wasn't going anywhere, did that mean they were going to make something official? He decided that if things were going to progress from here, they needed to talk about what was happening between them. This exploration, whilst slow at best, clearly needed a label and clarification to avoid something like this happening again.

"Be with me."

Harry's eyes widened, and he stopped breathing for a moment, wondering if that meant what he thought it did. Regrettably, he pulled his head back a fraction so he could place eyes on the man and immediately saw that he was holding back tears. The light emitting off the fire caught on a lone tear track and Harry felt like his heart was going to crack straight down the middle. This was the most emotion he had visually seen from the man, the mask had clearly gone, and it was as if Harry was seeing his Professor for the first time. No… That wasn't correct. This wasn't his Professor; this was Severus Snape, the vulnerable interior from the unreadable Defence Professor and Slytherin Head of House.

"Like a romantic relationship?"

"Yes."

Oh, the tone was absolutely beautiful to Harry; and through his tear stained blushing cheeks, he managed a relieved smile. Nodding gently at first, he agreed to it, but the soft movement turned into a passionate approval and he took both hands off the mans back, bringing them between their bodies and gripping onto the black robes. Severus took that as an open invitation and swooped in on the teen, pressing their lips together in a fanatical display of their commitment to each other. He commanded the situation, delicately and obsessively, taking Harry's bottom lip between his teeth and pulling as they broke away. They didn't last long apart, and again the younger Slytherin pushed himself forward, clinging to the man who was everything to him in that moment.

 _Hope. Lust. Relief._

These were all things that Harry was experiencing in a moment of pure bliss with this man, who he silently claimed, loved. Not in the sense that he would scream out this undying love to anyone but the feelings he had were pure and strong. Whilst he would have been disappointed if a relationship hadn't been declared between them, he still would have gone out of his way to make sure he was safe. He decided to call it redemption for all the times he'd had his own sorry hide saved and kept safe over the years.

Severus, on the other hand was feeling something akin to freedom and release. It was as if admitting his status, his standing; it was liberating and shedding him of the darkness within. That wasn't to say everything between them was now solved, but perhaps now they could work towards tailoring something that they could both benefit from. They each had their demons, their struggles that were continual and he couldn't agree to be the most fourth coming when it came to his own issues, mainly because he didn't want to crowd Harry's mind or corrupt him with truths.

" _Okay._ " Harry breathed when they broke apart once more, their breathing heavy and lips moistened from their joined saliva.

That one word, one simple four letter word, and Severus thought he was being reborn again. This time, it was to the dazed and deliciously vibrant emerald gems that were watching him with care and love.

 **. . .**

After an emotional reunion, Harry and Severus retired to the couch, their old past time, where they could relax and hold one another. Dinner was eaten at the dining table rather than surfacing to the wider school community, and thankfully no urgent matters had cropped up from Severus's students that required attention. Now, they simply enjoyed one anothers company, having spoken about various things, incidents that had occurred over the past few weeks and intentions around a proper relationship between them. Harry had offered, rather than be told, that he would limit contact with Jason. It wasn't going to be something he could completely control, especially since Hermione was fierce friends with him but was pleased to know that unless there was something not adding up, his Professor wouldn't lose his mind.

Severus didn't want this night to end, however, when he looked at the time, his heart jerked when he remembered that the younger Wizard should be getting back to the common room. It was way past curfew by now, they had both been expecting that to happen but now he was faced with a dilemma in which he felt, for the first time, that he really didn't want to be alone. The only difference between now and all those lonely years prior was that he had no choice, things had always happened for better or worse, a specific reason. Now, there were no such pressures to keep up certain appearances or to isolate himself, aside from the not so small issue of keeping the real nature of their relationship a secret. Why all the hesitance? Well, Severus didn't want Harry to go and as the teen continued resting against his shoulder, he twisted his own head and glanced through the bedroom door.

"It is getting late, Harry."

Sighing, Harry stretched lazily from his comfortable position and peered at the clock, seeing that it was indeed very late, and he should be going. He hated this part of their nights, having to leave and go back to the dormitory, but especially tonight since he was coming out of an intense situation. It wasn't that he didn't like being with Draco and Blaise, but he didn't really want to move from where he was. His Professor was actually quite comfortable and warm, something a cold bed wouldn't be able to offer him. He knew the rules though, and went to stand, covering a yawn as he stretched further.

Severus kept his trained eyes on his Slytherin, noting the enticing way his jumper rode up as he reached to the ceiling in a slow stretch. He wondered if Harry knew what he was doing, or if it was truly as innocent as it appeared to be outside of Severus's overtired brain. Shaking his head, he too stood before he felt arms around him as he was hugged. There was a tired expression looking up at him, and he knew that tonight he was refusing to be alone.

"Stay tonight." The words were out of his mouth before he could rethink his plan.

"Really?" Harry wondered if he'd heard correctly.

Harry couldn't argue that the offer was tempting, and it would mean not having to brave the cold corridor, not much warmer common room and unused cool bed sheets of his own bed. The man's couch was comfy enough, he'd know of course, having fallen asleep several times on it. So, he nodded in agreement, giving off a smile and reaching for the black blanket that didn't seem to move very far from the back of the couch these days. He was confused when his Professor opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, before stepping back to give him room but he figured it must have been weird for him to have someone here and didn't think much more of it.

Severus on the other hand was feeling conflicted as his offer had been misinterpreted, but he said nothing before disappearing into his bedroom to give his student more privacy if he were to change. _Change into what though?_ He realized in his haste to not let the teen out of his sight, he had neglected to think the evening through. There was a spare toothbrush in his cabinet and on a second glance, he plucked a dark grey face cloth from the cupboard, placing them on the edge of the large sink. This was bizarre, he hadn't opened his doors like this very often and the nature of it proved to be more than he'd anticipated. Nevertheless, he came back out into the living area to see Harry stripping out of his jumper and waited until he'd seen him.

"There is a toothbrush and facecloth in the bathroom for you. Would you like to borrow some bed clothes?" Why was his heart hammering away like a loud drum?

"Thanks, uhm, maybe just a shirt would be fine." Harry had the grace to blush, it was such a weird conversation to be having with the outwardly bitter and sour man, that he couldn't help but let a smirk pull at his lips.

"Very well, use the facilities whilst I find one." And with that Severus spun around and floated into his bedroom.

Harry's grin only widened, and he bit his lip in an attempt to quash the laugh that was threatening to burst forward. The actions of his Professor were endearing, utterly soft and caring; something that he was enjoying immensely. But he now needed to pass through the man's bedroom for the bathroom and he was committed to not looking around as he did so. Of course, Severus saw the ridiculous way in which he passed him and frowned, not that Harry would have seen him as his eyes were partially covered.

It was the second time Harry had been in this bathroom and the tub still made him shake his head, the absurdity of it to have such a large item was apparently lost on him and he looked in the mirror as he prepared to brush his teeth.

Severus found a simple black tee shirt for the teen to wear; he was of a bigger build than his student so it was going to look oversized, but he assumed it would be okay. With the younger Wizard in his rooms, he finally experienced a wave of unease wash through him, it was the first time he'd felt this in all the time he'd developed feelings for Harry and even since they'd kissed. It was the sense of knowing what they were doing was disregarding various school rules that were put in place for a reason. Though, he couldn't help but see a massive loop hole in this, and that was the fact Harry and the rest of his friends were adult age, under Wizarding law they were of age to have full consent in these matters. It didn't stop him feeling rebellious however.

When Harry darted out from the bathroom, he found a slightly faded black tee shirt laying across the back of the couch and picked it up just as his Professor came to stand in his doorway.

"It will be too big, I hope you do not mind."

"It'll be perfect, thanks." Harry gave him a genuine smile before he came closer, they needed to say goodnight to one another after all.

Wordlessly, Harry leaned up onto he balls of his feet and went in for a kiss to show his appreciation of being accommodated for the evening. Sliding his hands up the man's chest, he could feel the vibrations of a rapid heartbeat and relaxed under the guise his Head of House was nervous about it all too. Well, it was either excitement or nerves, but considering he couldn't feel anything particularly solid pressing back against him, he decided on the latter. Nerves or not, the hand that ran through his dark brunette locks made him relax further and he sighed happily when they broke away.

"Thanks for letting me stay here, sleep well." Harry commented softly, stepping out of the hands holding him and smiling coyly.

Severus kept his eyes on Harry for the most part, but he couldn't help but glance at his bed for a moment. No, if the teen wanted to have stayed in his bed, then that would have been the first thing that came to mind when the offer of sleeping the night was mentioned. At least he wasn't completely alone, he reasoned, and he was going to leave the door open ajar, just to make sure there were no nightmares that captured his student's vulnerable state of mind.

"To you, as well."

 **. . .**

The night was so dark, the only light provided came from the crackling, charred timber walls that kept his townhouse upright. A single source of heat emanated from charcoaled embers that were searing against his bare skin, having burnt through his black robes. A burning inferno, that's all he could call it and smoke invaded his lungs painfully, restricting him from gaining precious oxygen he needed to live.

For the most part, Severus hadn't been able to sleep, tossing and turning for hours until in the early hours sleep had taken him to a hell hole that burnt bright against his eyeballs. He could feel the effects still as he lay in bed, his skin damp from the strain of his nightmare, but he couldn't say it was unexpected after what he'd been through. Now though, he had a guest in his living room, not that he could hear movement, nor was the door open any more than what he'd left it when he finally bid Harry goodnight.

He could have sworn his dark mark was throbbing in pain also when he finally came round, but after a quick reveal of lifting up his sleeve, there had been no change in its condition. With a sigh, he sat up after getting tired of staring at the same spot on his ceiling and swung his legs around, so he was sitting on the edge of his bed. It was very early in the morning, just before Witching hours, and rubbed his face tiredly, knowing he wasn't going to get back to sleep any time soon. Instead, he risked a quick moment in the living area and took his robe off the back of his door on the way through.

Harry was sleeping peacefully, his face relaxed and huddled comfortably under the covers as he dreamed pleasantly. Well, he hoped that was the case and let a small smile pull at the corners of his mouth. The box of items retrieved from his safe were still sitting on the coffee table, he hadn't been able to bring himself to open it since arriving back. Deciding that since there was no sleep intended for him now, he could have a rummage through the items quietly whilst his student slept. The desire to be close and not be in a room by himself was oddly strong and he found the fact irritating.

Taking the photo that sat upon the box in his hands, he looked at the burning flames engulfing his house and felt shame, remorse, sadness, all the negative emotions circulating through his body and causing him to shrink further in on himself. Just after he'd had everything figured out, retirement, enjoyment of his life… And then it all gets taken away. Well, he should have assumed his life would never be easy, not after the decisions he'd made earlier on in his life, having to pay for it now was a right pain.

Clearing away the twine, he looked back down at Harry and noticed space enough for him to squeeze into sitting on the very edge of the couch down by his students feet. He hadn't been disturbed yet, hopefully he was able to keep it that way, he'd feel awful if his actions had woken the tired teen, especially after the stress he'd caused.

When he opened the box, the first thing on top happened to be the family photo album, the deep green with silver etchings on the cover reflected a Slytherin theme but the contents did not give him any sense of peace. They were pictures from his youth, of his mother, and if he remembered correctly, a few of his grandparents. With nothing better to do, he flipped open the front cover and felt his heart lurch at the young photo of himself and his mother when he was only five years old. His hair was shorter, it hadn't grown down past his ears, so it stuck up at odd intervals. For the most part they were both smiling and he took the time to look at his mother who appeared a lot happier and healthier than what he remembered in his later years. Of course, the whole time he existed in that family was wrought with pain and suffering, his Muggle father should have dropped dead sooner than the alcohol had taken him. That way he might have had a better chance at life with his mother. Shutting the book and setting it aside, he moved the box closer and had a better look under the faint light. The only source was coming from the fire but at least it was warm.

He froze when he heard a light moan coming from Harry, it sounded like one would make when they were slowly waking and watched carefully to ensure he stayed asleep. After a minute, he seemed to settle and Severus went back to scouring his personal belongings, some of which he hadn't set eyes on in years. These included a couple of old school books, which in the hands of the Dark Lord, could have been catastrophic. Looking back at the way his mind operated, he wondered why Albus hadn't expelled him for endangering students with his Dark Arts magic.

Once he'd sifted through the top layer of items, placing them quietly on the coffee table, he came to an odd item that was wrapped in a royal blue suede cloth. He certainly hadn't ever set eyes on this before and pulled it out, cringing when he heard the clatter of metal hit the bottom of the box. Harry still didn't stir to it and he peered into the dark box, seeing two badges that caught on the dim lighting. When he brought them into the light, he saw they were Hogwarts pins, more precisely, a Ravenclaw Head Girl pin as well as a Slytherin Prefect pin. Frowning, he unfolded the cloth and saw old yearbooks pertaining to his grandparents, these hadn't been in the safe that he knew of so how could they have suddenly appeared?

"Sir?"

The sleepy voice caught him off guard and he turned his head towards Harry who was blinking at him whilst his eyes adjusted to the dim light off the fire. He felt incredibly guilty for having disrupted the teen, but anxious now that Harry saw what he was doing. Sighing lightly, he eyed the two school pins in his hands as he rested his forearms against the books and leaning forward.

"I apologize for waking you, Harry."

"Could you not sleep?" Sitting up, Harry crossed his legs and shuffled down the couch, closer to his Professor.

"Not surprising really."

"I suppose not… What's that?" Inquisitive as ever, Harry was looking at the two pins, so he decided just to hand them over for the teen to look at, "Were you a Prefect?"

Severus snorted, "Absolutely not. None of the suspected dark followers were."

It still didn't answer the question as to where it came from, especially when his mother had been in Ravenclaw when she was elected a prefect. But his student seemed fascinated by them and smiled as he put the badge up to his chest, in a mocking testament to being a Slytherin prefect when they were all robbed of the honor due to the war. Severus rather liked seeing Harry with it, seeing how his eyes lit up with pride for representing his house.

"Who's is the Ravenclaw one?"

"I thought it could have been my mother's…"

Even though the sentence trailed off, it had pique Harry's immediate attention and curiosity but before he could say anything further, a yawn overtook all other functions and he groaned softly at the same time. There was no way he'd be getting back to sleep with this treasure trove of information being unburied from the safety of a simple cardboard box, but when he saw the man's expression he changed tack.

"Did… you want to talk about this?" He tried his best to sound sincere, and it had the desired effect when Severus glanced at him with a very sad smile.

"Your concern is touching, but unnecessary." Though he wished he hadn't said it as Harry's face dropped and he bit down on his lower lip, eyes cast to the blanket covering his lower half.

"Okay." The pins still in his hands, Harry passed them back and then shuffled around, keeping everything from the waist down covered, before leaning into Severus's shoulder.

"What I meant to say, was thank you but you should be sleeping." Feeling the need to clarify, he placed the pins on the table with everything else and pressed his lips into Harry's beautifully mussed up bed hair.

"Well I would, but someone is taking up the couch." Harry jabbed, but was horrified when his Professor made the move to stand, "No, no, I wasn't complaining!"

Huffing, Severus stopped and sat back into the couch cushions, the year books still in his lap, "We would not have had this issue, if you were in _bed_ with me."

"Wait, what?"

"Is there a particular reason why you immediately assumed I meant for you to sleep here? I cannot possibly understand why you think it is even remotely comfortable." Severus kept talking to hide the embarrassment of blushing cheeks with bringing up the topic but he wanted to stray away from his own life that was scattered in front of them.

Blinking and opening his mouth a few times, Harry sat up straighter, "You wanted me to sleep with you?"

Severus couldn't quite understand the mortified tone until he realized the younger Wizard must have thought much more intimate actions than simply sharing the same bed for the evening. He wanted to correct him, he really did, but confusion won the battle in his mind and he remained silent to correct his train of thought. Perhaps delving into his family history would have been better than exploring his non-existent romantic life after all.

"To share a bed, yes."

"It wasn't intentional, I just didn't think you'd be that open to it right now… We can change that if you want?" The hope was too obvious in Harry's voice, but he couldn't help wondering what it would feel like to get the warmth from a hug with less layers on and under bed sheets.

It was a tempting offer, a nerve wracking one, and Severus couldn't help thinking how it would change things between them once more. He didn't particularly think it was fair to the teen, he needed sleep and if he were to lie awake, Harry would probably notice. Then again, what if teenage hormones started to drive his student into suggesting more intimate actions? He doubted he could stop himself from accepting them, anything to take the pain away from what a mess his own life had turned into. He could have Harry as the ultimate distraction whilst still giving the brunette what he wanted. It seemed like a win-win.

"You may relocate there, I will stay here."

Harry snorted, "Well that defeats the purpose, doesn't it? You could do with the rest as well." Smiling at the man, he was trying to be supportive, "Can this wait till later?" Motioning to the coffee table.

With a nod, Severus put the contents on his lap back into the box and stood at the same time. Nerves wracked his body, he didn't know why he was actually agreeing to this now, it had seemed like a good idea when he'd initially offered it earlier in their evening but now it was happening. He looked down at Harry and out of courtesy, offered his hand to help the teen up. What he hadn't expected to see was that his student wasn't wearing any pants as the blanket fell away and the light grey men's briefs he wore weren't leaving much to the imagination. Glancing away quickly, he felt the reassuring squeeze of his hand and pulled them towards the bedroom.

Harry didn't know why he was suddenly so confident, he'd never even been this far undressed with Ginny and she was the only real experience he'd had with anyone. Nevertheless, there he was, walking behind his Head of House in an oversized black tee shirt that covered his backside now he was fully standing and entering the sacred bedroom of one Severus Snape. When he'd been through here both times prior, he'd been so set in his ways about not wanting to know the man as intimately as he did now. This was the forbidden area, the last place where Harry could finally see the personal details of the older Wizards life and the realization was buzzing.

Seeing an unmade bed caused the weirdest of heart flutters, and as he was dragged over to said piece of furniture it finally hit him that it was all happening. Hesitating, he took a breath as the butterflies in his stomach made themselves known and looked up at the man who seemed equally out of his depth. The reassuring hand squeeze was then returned and Harry knew it was going to be okay, he doubted anything would happen anyway, the most they'd done was kissing and he'd been told they had time to explore. So, letting go of the warm hand, he moved forward and awkwardly crawled across the bed, blushing when he realized his rear end would have been fully on display before he tucked both legs under the covers.

Severus had to resist himself from tapping the tempting derriere as it moved in front of him and went about untying his robe. Harry's round green eyes watched him, tucking his lip between his teeth with anticipation of the disrobing. Maintaining eye contact, Severus let the robe fall away and gathered it with one hand, depositing it at the end of the bed with an uncharacteristic throw in that direction. Fluidly lowering himself onto the mattress, he took the covers and covered them both fully, laying on his side, facing Harry.

What did they do now? Did they hug and try to sleep or was it strictly keeping each other at arm's length so they could each get their own rest? It seemed the younger Wizard took that decision away from him as he put a hand on Severus's chest to push him down so he was laying on his back. This was something he'd wanted to do for a while now, to see how different it would feel pressing his head to his Professor's chest and hearing the heartbeat, the warmth, almost skin to skin. He draped his arm across Severus's abdomen and lay across the broad chest, almost nuzzling against it as he got comfortable. It was far more than he expected, the comfort and security it offered, easily triple or quadruple the amount than when they stood holding each other.

Severus was staring up at the ceiling, much like he'd done so before getting up, he never thought this would be a likely position for them both but there weren't any complaints from him. He wrangled his arm free that Harry was lying on and brought it around, placing it along the small of his Slytherins' slender back, his other hand resting along the arm that lay across his stomach. He allowed himself to take a deep breath in, hold it for a moment, before exhaling slowly as he got used to the feeling of holding someone in such a way. The thought then occurred that he should have been more forceful in his previous desires for this to happen, he could quite literally feel his entire body relaxing as he absorbed the weight pressing down on him.

"So much better than the couch." Harry mumbled, sighing and smiling in the dim lighting.

"Get some sleep, brat." Severus replied softly, lacking any real attitude.

Harry didn't really respond, he hummed in a deep tone as he wriggled to get comfy but there was no point where he knew that he'd fallen asleep. It just happened. Severus lay there, staring at the ceiling and thinking about how differently the evening had turned out. What had once been an anxiety towards going back to sleep, was now replaced with fondness and calm, feelings he hadn't thought would happen in this situation. Alas, they had and he wouldn't change anything.

 **. . .**

Harry's entire body tingled with pleasure when he came to, perhaps that was because a nose was nuzzling against the back of his ear before light lazy pecks to the skin were felt. Still feeling dazed as he woke up, he twisted his neck to expose it further and wriggled backwards against what he realized must have been his Professor's lap. He only knew this because he could feel hard lump as he shifted and the prospect of feeling something so intimate made his head explode and his own body jerk.

 _Merlin… This feels so surreal._

Arms were wrapped around him, almost possessively, as they both lay on their sides. Harry had his back pressed firmly against his Professor's front and he continued to work on shuffling his lower half back further so they were even closer. This was quite possibly what paradise or heaven felt like, and the love, care and attention he was receiving made him want so stay in here forever.

"If this is how every morning could be, I'm not sure I want to leave." Harry had to say it, only so the man knew and could make it happen again.

 _Hopefully._

"I agree, it makes a nice change."

 _Sweet Merlin…_ Harry groaned as the hoarse, deep voice sounded in his ear and he fisted the covers that protected them both from the cool air. Tugging at the arms that held him close, they loosened, and it allowed Harry to twist around so he was facing the man, but facing was a loose term as it was dark and he was able to bury his head under his Professor's chin. From there, he could feel the steady heart beat thudding against his cheek and edged his hand away from between them so he could drape it over the older Wizard's waist.

"Did you sleep all right?" Severus's voice sounded in the silent room and a shudder worked down Harry's back.

"I don't even remember falling asleep…"

"Good."

"What about you? I didn't talk or kick you, did I?" His voice betrayed the insecurities he suddenly felt.

"Sleeptalker?" The soft puff of air as his half snort brushed through Harry's hair.

"Not sure, aside from nightmares, but I'll take it as a no." Taking a deep breath, he took in the man's scent and catalogued it, enjoying their position and bent his knee, letting it slip naturally between the older Wizard's legs.

"No, you were the perfect bed mate. So docile and well behaved."

Harry giggled, the sound muffled by the man's shirt, "Why does everything sound so strict with you? Would I get house points for pleasing you this morning?"

"Perhaps because I am a teacher?" Ignoring the second sentence, he knew his initial thoughts had been completely out of context.

"True, but we're in bed."

"And?"

"Well, you're a teacher, so can I expect to be educated whilst lying between your sheets and pressed up against you?" Harry was grinning, and Severus could tell by the playful tone of his mumbled voice.

"I suppose that depends, Mr. Potter…" Harry closed his eyes at the seductive, deep rumbled and tensed his body to stop it from twitching and moving involuntary.

"On?" Harry's voice was only but a whisper.

"How thoroughly you'd like to be educated? We have time to ensure it is a very wholesome education, complete with practical exercises and assessments." He nuzzled into brunette hair as he paused, "But I'm sure you will get Outstanding all the way."

Melting like silly putty, Harry would have given his Professor anything his heart desired in that moment and took a fistful of the man's shirt, pulling him as he rolled onto his back. The shift caused their positions to level out and it was no trouble to find his way into a passionate dance of oral skills. The weight that had shifted onto him, made his body sink into the mattress but he was in no way being crush uncomfortably, in fact, now that both arms were freed he wrapped them around his Professor and held him tight. Due to their prior position, one leg was already resting between his thighs and with an unintentional shift of his hips, the sensitive part of his center brushed against the man's body. With a deep moan, pleasure radiated through his body at having being stimulated other than from himself, he pushed back against the pressure, only to have the same thing happen.

Severus could feel the jerks and twitches, feeling satisfied to have a warm body writhing beneath him. It reminded him of the chase, closing in on his prey and pouncing at the right moment, commanding a scene, dominating it and having full control. He enjoyed these on a daily basis, during conversations and platonic situations, but to extend this standing in the bedroom, pressing an attractive man to his bed, gave the same satisfaction. It was like a game, teasing and playing with the victim, drawing them out into a disorientated mess until he made the take down. Harry was much like that at this point, though he had done nothing more than let his weight settle on top of the Slytherin, keeping him from moving anywhere.

 _I never want to leave here… These feelings, these movements… I'm… I'm…_

Thoughts were quickly evaporating from Harry's mind as he continued to writhe gently beneath his Professor, it was almost like a Dementors kiss but instead of all the happiness being sucked out of his body he was almost about to explode with it. Nothing had ever come close to the pleasure he was experiencing and when he looked back on it later he would have realized that they were doing nothing close to actively stimulating one another. Could it have been that after years of abuse, of conditioning, and pain, he simply did not know how to feel pleasure like this? His own explorations had been quick, to the point, hurried. This was the opposite.

"However, other responsibilities are what await us this morning." Severus had pulled away for a moment to get the statement out, reminding both of them that there was a world outside his door.

Instead of a coherent reply, he received a varying degree of hums and whimpers, and decided to test his abilities by running a hand down the length of Harry's side, from an arm to his waist and down the back of his toned leg until he could curl his fingers around the muscle. Almost as an invitation, Harry parted his legs and allowed the one being held to lift, shifting to prop it around the back of his Professor's own upper thigh. Bringing their centers closer, almost brushing against each other, teasing and tempting restraint from both parties. Frustration reigned, the other distinctive emotion following immense pleasure. But Severus wasn't going to go any further and knew they'd both slept in longer than he would have normally would.

"And if you do not extract yourself from my bed, I am afraid people might get worried about your absence."

The reminder of his friends put a halt to anything further Harry was about to do and his entire body froze when he thought what they might be up to right now. Even though he wanted to stay exactly where he was, he brought both hands around and pushed on the man's chest to get him off before rolling out of bed and collided with the floor. They were much closer to the edge than he'd anticipated. He could hear the sound of a muffled chuckle, but he couldn't worry about that right now and felt his way around the edge of the bed to where he knew the door would be located. When he opened it, light from the fire still burning, lit his body and Severus could see _everything_ from where he was half sitting in his bed.

When Harry disappeared into the living area, he spoke, "Whilst I am enjoying your floundering, there is really no need to rush."

Floating from the other room, Harry's response was almost hard to hear as he jumped about the room, "Y-Yes there i-is! I need to eat a-and if I'm late I'll g-get – "

Whatever the rest of the sentence had intended to be, Severus didn't know as there was a bang and some subtle swearing. He would have gone through to investigate but didn't trust the state of his lower region to take control of their conversation when they were both aware of things. Instead, he stayed where he was, propped up on his elbows, before deciding to slide upwards so he could rest against the head board.

"A hiding from Hermione about missing our study session." Harry was a bit flushed in the face when he finally emerged back in the bedroom, with the room now lit dimly he could finally see his Professor and the reality of their night together sunk in.

"How fascinating." Severus drawled, he too feeling the weight of his decision that night.

The air grew awkward, Harry was now dressed and standing in the older Wizards bedroom whilst said man was still in bed and looking very much like he could have done with a coffee. _Merlin… This happened last night…_ He tried not to think of the interest still evident even with the aid of his trousers hiding it for the most part. What was more bizarre, and made him very red in the face, was knowing that about a minute ago, he could feel his Professor's morning pleasure against him. He couldn't help but bite his lip, pressing down on it very hard, only to feel anything other than what he was imagining his Head of House doing after he left for the day.

Clearing his throat, he made to move forward but stopped when he wondered how they should leave things, "Uhm…"

Sighing, the euphoria of waking with Harry in his arms wore off instantly and he slipped his legs out into the cold, sitting on the edge of his bed as he reached out for the robe. He didn't particularly want to scare the teen away with an unsightly view of something a little more private within his loose pants, so quickly covered himself as he stood. He wasn't going to have Harry worrying about this during the rest of the weekend.

"We can talk about this later, you need to have breakfast." Stopping in front of his Slytherin, narrowed black eyes looked at the abused lip and pulled it free from perfectly white teeth, "Unless you want your friends to think you had a secret frisk last night, I suggest you keep this far away from your teeth. It'll bruise otherwise."

He was met with an impish smile at his words and a nod followed, "I can only imagine the scandal."

"Go, Harry. Perhaps we could reserve some extra time during the week? The forest?"

Over the course of these few weeks, Professor Snape had really surprised him with the kind nature of their interactions, and his previous worry about their morning wake up disappeared. He knew the man was nervous about this as well, for someone who could easily hide their true emotions outwardly, inwardly no one could control the speed of their heart and ultimately, that was how Harry could assess the situation. Now however, he had no such luxury as they stood apart, which was for the best given their current personal situations.

"Okay… And, I…" How was he supposed to say that he was there for him, knowing that he was going through issues too, without sounding condescending or arrogant? "I hope… Me being here was comforting for you. I, uhm, wouldn't mind staying again… Maybe… Again…"

He was silenced with a kiss, his ramblings doing nothing for the irritability growing within Severus's body as he dealt with his usual morning prickliness and the newer and far more precarious event in which he was aroused. To be honest, it was definitely something he would like to engage in once more, but there was always the risk that people would start to notice when he was absent from the common room, come curfew. No, he would think on this later when they were both more focused and coherent; so he broke away, placing a quick peck to Harry's temple and pushing him towards the main door.

"Go, we will speak later."

Harry flashed him a shy smile as he turned back towards the room, now standing out in the cooler corridor, before the door closed and he was doused in a chilling, damp and dark atmosphere. A shudder emphasized his change in temperature but he tried not to dwell on it and went in the direction of Slytherin common room.

 **. . .**

 _ **Dare I ask…**_


	57. Chapter 57

**.**

 **IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE: This chapter has been re-written and replaced. Please re-read it before moving on to Ch58 which will be uploaded soon.**

 **. . .**

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **Haha, they are awkward right? God, I was re-reading it and had myself cringing. No regrets though, you'll see why eventually. You ask his perspective on the morning? Well I think I've touched on it enough first up, but like I mentioned above, there will be a bit of a focus on his character with the changing of perspectives.**_

 **#michaela-uzumaki:**

 _ **Curiously, how do you reckon Draco would react if he does put the two together? I've been wondering that for a while now and would love another perspective.**_

 **#shippersrule:**

 _ **I am super glad to hear that! I'm sure you're going to love their next step hehe.**_

 **#rhiabuckley1:**

 _ **Thank you so much! And thanks for putting up with the slow burn.**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **We have Oktoberfest here too, but I bet it was so much better in Munich! I love making you frustrated, it's one of my main aims when writing ;)**_

 **#bigbeem:**

 _ **Vulnerable Severus is a little delicious, I'll admit that :D It is quite difficult to write however, he's such a strong character!**_

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **And that's how I know I'm doing a good job, ha. Thanks!**_

 **#ChiffonShock:**

 _ **Hmm, I wasn't planning on writing much after they graduated. There was a little bit of plot I wanted to cover off, but not much. Just out of curiosity, what would you want to see after graduation?**_

 **. . .**

 _ **Small bonus for #mylittlehazmat:**_

With a hand still on the back of his door, Severus inspected the wood like he had never done so before in deep thought. One action that he was unable to control, was the small smile plastered on his face, something about the morning making him feel almost giddy. He knew exactly what it was, an emotion that he had not experienced in many years – _happiness_ – but not just that, it was pure joy, ecstasy compared to what he'd felt before. Everything might have been falling apart, and there were mild doubts niggling at the back of his mind, but Severus had Harry, he had _one_ thing in his life that could bring upon this joy. His body was alight with excitement, which overrode any negative thoughts about himself, especially when he shift to turn around and felt another excitement which was softening.

He usually washed his face in the mornings, though, he decided that without the need to rush about, he would treat himself to a bath before he did anything else. Getting the tub ready, he went into the bedroom and took in the sight of his bed. There weren't many occasions in which it looked quite so lived in and used, this was generally only the case when he had a night terror that had him twisting and tangled up in the mass of thick sheets. This time, he knew it was the opposite of those situations and felt rather satisfied with himself, especially when he closed his eyes and saw Harry's dimly lit face beneath him mere moments ago.

The hot water was surprisingly relaxing on his sensitive skin, and a deep groan echoed in the otherwise silent space as he submerged himself fully, right until the top of his mouth was covered. He always enjoyed a bath, it was the reason he did not have a shower, there was something special about it, soaking in a hot cocoon and enabling him to melt away the stresses of his days. This was just a quick one however, there were no oils or soaps added, it was simply hot water and a face cloth. He would wash himself in the evening, for now, he simply leaned back and blacked the light out by shutting his eyes, thinking back on his night.

His skin tingled with anticipation and desire, goosebumps appeared on his arms and thighs, even though he wasn't the slightest bit cold. There was another emotion building as he thought about Harry, it was that of hope; hope that he things might start getting better, hope that the rest of the year could be better for him, hope that the bitterness would melt away and he could live a proper life. Of course, nothing was certain, he still had the bank to deal with the Ministry breathing down his neck – not to mention Minerva when she found out his intentions were less than pure with her ex-lion. But even with all of that going on, in those brief moments laying submerged in hot water, he let himself relax and not worry about any of it.

Maybe Harry Potter was a blessing in disguise, perhaps this was fated to happen – _not that he believed such trite –_ but whatever it was, he could thank it later as the day passed and turned into the next. He didn't teach his Slytherin on the first calendar day of the week, but that didn't stop him feeling the effects of their night together each time he caught those luminous green eyes watching him carefully. The teen might have thought he was being subtle, or maybe he was and Severus just happened to be searching for him also; but each time they made eye contact, he felt his heart skip a beat. And that was only Monday.

 **. . . and the story continues . . .**

Between having arguments with his Professor and friends, then making up with them all in the space of one weekend, Harry was more exhausted than he had been entering it. Draco had asked him a dozen questions about the situation, neither of them wanted Hermione to know about, but it had been thankfully difficult for the blonde to get him alone enough to ask. He wasn't entirely sure what he'd say to his friend, _we made up and made out?_ That wasn't going to cut it, and he knew it. Regardless, his concentration was not on his priority list for the first day of classes, something Hermione commented on the number of times he bumped into her and Draco between classes.

Finally having enough, she sent him off to bed at the end of the day, thinking that it had something to do with all the yawning and distant spacey glances she received from him. He couldn't complain really, and when he finally slipped between his sheets he smiled happily up at the canopy of his bed. Tomorrow, he would be in class with Professor Snape tomorrow… He didn't even know how things would go, would he be better at concentrating or would it all go out the window?

He could recall those times when he used to think about Cho and Ginny, but they were never as fully developing heart crushing feelings like the ones he was experiencing now. He had a boyfriend, an actual partner, his first male romantic relationship; and what's more, it was with a man he trusted and created emotions of safety. His smile faded slightly when he remembered how broken he appeared that other night, if he could help it, he never wanted to see the man like that again. It was a little selfish to think that, but perhaps he could offer something or at least not be the reason Professor Snape felt so small. Whilst he enjoyed the strict man who seemed so in control, he believed there could be tender moments under that hard exterior, healthy ones where he was happy.

It was difficult getting to sleep, but once he did there were no nightmares, nor were there dreams of any kind and for the first time in a few weeks he actually woke feeling rather well rested. This didn't include the weekend with his Professor however, that was in a league of its own and when he woke the following morning, with renewed purpose and a spring in his step, he decided that it would need to happen again. And soon.

Draco was the first to comment on his chipper mood, but he shrugged and said it must have just been tiredness. Whilst laughing, Draco couldn't understand, considering most of the weekend had been spent in bed, but Harry wasn't going to inform him of what had been going on. Especially not when Hermione and Jason came to sit in front of them and things went quiet.

Glancing subtly towards the head table, Harry saw his Head of House looking at them briefly before their eyes connected. That same electric feeling he'd experienced the morning prior hit him and he blushed, having to look away before he gave away the position. Everything felt light and happy, like nothing could touch him and crush the positivity out of him, and he could only hope that's how the older Wizard felt too.

However, when Hermione pulled out her application form for the Ministry of Magic Magical Law Enforcement Department, he felt a knot twist in his stomach and a wave of anxiety hit him. He still hadn't told Professor Snape he was going to be applying, but knew he should to save any future arguments, but that's what everyone wanted him to do. His application was still in his bag, so he rummaged around for it and unfolded the parchment. It was almost completed, he just needed to write an essay on this years topic and it would be good to go, aside from the testimonials from Professor Snape and Professor Slughorn.

"How did your Healer application go?" Harry asked Draco quietly.

"Good. Professor Snape had a quick look over it and told me to send it in. Just waiting to hear back now. He said it shouldn't take longer than a week for it to be processed and I'll find out."

"Well, if he thinks it's good, then you're a sure thing for becoming an Apprentice." Harry offered, and the blonde nodded.

"What about yours?" Draco asked, then regretted it when Hermione's ears perked up like they usually did and was watching both Slytherin's.

"Just an essay."

"What's that for, Harry?" Hermione asked, leaning forward to get a look at the title.

Briefly sharing a look with Draco, he sighed and addressed the three of them, his voice resigned, "Auror Training."

"You don't seem so happy about that." Jason noted, but the other two knew why.

"Harry knows he's going to be the best Auror, but everyone expects him to do it. Hence, hesitance." Draco explained, and Harry looked down at the application for something better to do than being apart of the conversation.

"I don't understand though…" Jason kept talking, and Draco kept answering, to which Harry was very pleased with.

Unfortunately, when he flipped through the large amount of parchment, he realized he was missing a page and grumbled, sifting through his bag for it and turning up empty. Deciding to flag the entire thing and relocate it into the too hard basket, he shoved, rather roughly, the papers back into his bag and hugged it petulantly, the good mood high disappearing for now.

By the time Defence rolled around, Harry was rather pleased to have the distraction but without wanting to seem overly keen, he sat up the back of the room with Draco and leaned back in his chair. The man was busying himself up the front of the room, and the more the brunette watched, the more humorous it became. Puffing out a soft laugh, he noted with satisfaction that Professor Snape was flustered, and he so wanted to do something about it, but knew anything would have to wait until later.

There was one glance sent his way, right before the commencement of the class, and Harry could have sworn the man gasped before he finally composed himself. Looking sideways at the blonde sitting next to him, he seemed oblivious to it all, so sat back and relaxed for the lesson. They were going through the structure of their projects that would be worked on over the break, but Harry already knew what he was going to be researching.

Becoming bored through the lesson, Harry took to doodling the Deathly Hallows symbol in his book, image after image littered the page where he should have been taking notes, but he couldn't help listening to the deep tones caressing his mind. It sent enjoyable butterflies alight in his abdomen, and he allowed a dreamy expression to grow on his face as he followed the man with his eyes.

He wasn't sure when he exactly stopped watching the situation in front of him, but he was very aware when a piece of chalk hit him in the forehead and he snapped out of the daze. Blinking at the classroom and moving his eyes about, he saw everyone was watching him and blushed terribly. _Busted_ , he thought, wanting to sink into the desk and hide from everyone.

"One could only guess what is going on in that empty mind of yours, Potter. Care to tell us what had captured your attention?"

What a loaded question that was, and Harry had to fight the smug glint in his eye, especially when the red tinge crept on his Professor's face, knowing that he immediately regretted asking and cleared his throat to move on.

"My project, naturally, Professor." Harry finally replied when he wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

"Then perhaps you would like to note the structure I expect it to follow, if you already have your topic." Severus was able to snap himself back into an appropriate teacher mode successfully, and then turned his attention back to the rest of the students.

" _I think you missed a bit of drool, Potter_." Draco snorted, before putting his head down and jotting something down.

Frowning, Harry wiped his face again before glancing down at the page he'd destroyed with his artwork and realized he'd started drawing the letter _s_ within the shapes of the Hallows symbol. If that didn't scream teenage girl fantasy, he didn't know what did and promptly tore the page out and shoving it into his bag with the other pieces of parchment that were now useless to him.

As Severus was wrapping up the class, he asked if anyone had their topics ready, and if so to share with the class. Granger naturally shot her hand up, though less enthusiastically than previous years, then Longbottom, Lovegood and finally Harry. Making his way around the students, he was back at his desk by the time he asked his Slytherin what he had planned on doing, his breath baited.

"Fiendfyre, sir."

 _Blasted, bloody boy_ , Severus grated internally, his eyes cautiously looking up from the piece of parchment he'd started noting down what the students would be researching. There was a silent pause in the air, everyone looking between the two of them for a moment, before Severus voiced his approval and continued writing. Whatever the students had expected to happen, they were clearly disappointed, and it irked him how many must have known about his latest dramas. Oh, how he loved the rumor mill.

"You've got balls, Potter." Draco commented, packing away his things.

"Someone's got to do it; besides, I find it rather interesting."

"We both watched Goyle die in that fire, and you think it's _interesting_?" Draco was skeptical.

"We'll see how interesting it is when you see me disappearing into the restricted section under the guise of my invisibility cloak, because you'll notice he hasn't granted us access for this assignment." The brunette felt very smug when Draco narrowed his eyes and conceded.

"Fine, but you have to share it."

"I second this. When are we going to the library?" Hermione suddenly appeared next to them, and Harry wondered when he was ever going to get a break.

"After dinner?" Harry offered, looking past the Ravenclaw's head and seeing Professor Snape eyeing him pointedly, his head gently nodding towards his office, "Right now, I'm about to be picked apart by my favourite teacher."

"Don't complain, you bring this on yourself." Draco sniffed, shaking his head in amusement and leading Hermione out of the room.

The moment that office door shut, Harry was looking at his Professor who sternly stared at the top of his desk, palms flat on the surface and black hair covering most of his expression. This definitely had all the markings of a telling off, but he wasn't entirely sure which part of the lesson he would be told off for; the day dreaming or the research topic.

"Er, sir?" He asked tentatively, leaning against the wood of the door anxiously.

"Merlin, Harry. If you're not tempting me with your innocent looks, it's not paying attention. Are you intentionally testing my will, or is this some kind of game for you?"

"I'm sorry?" Harry was confused, but then the man looked up and he could see restraint on his face, which confused him.

" _You_ , get that innocent expression off your face." Severus accused, standing upright and rounding the desk.

"Sir?" Harry was mostly confused, but he had a feeling he knew what was about to follow and certainly wasn't disappointed when his back was pushed hard against the door, "It wasn't intentional, I swear." But if he wanted to say anything else, his Professor silenced it.

"That was a very long lesson." Severus admitted, rather sheepishly, but it had Harry smiling.

"I'll be honest, I can't remember much of it. Did I really drool?" He winced, a little embarrassed.

"Yes." Severus had begun with a smirk, but it dropped away and he went serious, "You need to be more careful, Harry. Being so close to that finish line, the last thing I want is for things to get tipped upside down because either or both of us fail to heed discretion."

"I understand." Harry replied, running his hands down the front of the man's robes, itching to remove them, "Can I see you this evening?" He asked hopefully, wanting to explore more now that they were officially a thing.

"It would be wise to maintain a less suspicious routine. You should be getting to your study class now, and Madame Pince will not be kind if you are unnecessarily late."

Pouting gently, Harry nodded, understanding the situation. It wasn't the best, but what could he do? He'd entered this knowing he couldn't go about sprouting his juicy gossip to the student body, and quite frankly, he didn't want to anyway. The less people knew the better, about _everything_ to do with his life.

 **. . .**

The following day, Draco was perched on a cleaned area of seating in the owlery as he looked at the letter in his hands, it was a risk, but he knew it had to be said. There was no harm in asking if he could bring Hermione around for the term break, it would be a good test for them to see if it was just revenge on Weasley or if the Witch really did like him. His owl was hooting at him impatiently, but when he finally gave the letter over and watched it fly away, he had an uneasy feeling working through his body. The worst she could say was no, and force him to marry Victoria but if he did that, then he would put his foot down on the Healer Apprenticeship he'd applied for. She wasn't going to get both from him.

Meeting up with Harry at the main entrance, they went to the library and set themselves up right next to the restricted section. His friend seemed to be thinking about things if the intense expression of concentration was anything to go by, so he didn't mention the chewing out he'd have likely received from their Head of House. Actually, it was probably this exact reason that had Harry licking his wounds a little. Whatever the reason, he watched the brunette disappear under his cloak and sneak into the restricted section.

Looking about in the dimly lit area, Harry went to the one section he thought Fiendfyre might be in and perused the titles. They all ranged from _Deadly and Silent Curses_ , to _Dangerously Exploding Traps_ , but he finally found one book that was called, _Famously Fiery Frameworks_. The cover didn't make much sense but he flipped it open nonetheless and read its contents. Happy that he'd found the one he needed, there was a quick peek around the other tombs laying in wait for reading and picked another two that he thought might help.

He happily gave Draco a fright when he returned and stashed his books away before Madame Pince caught him sneaking out with them. Sitting there and looking down into his book as Draco took his turn, he wondered how much their Professor really knew about this spell. He was the Defence Professor after all, _and_ had been a Deatheater, a Wizard who had the ability to create his own spells… Perhaps it was worth asking the man about it later when he saw him for the therapy session.

Said session came around quickly, Harry feeling immediately relieved when he walked into the man's rooms that night and went straight for the couch. His Professor called out from his laboratory, telling him to work on something whilst he finished up his potion, so Harry did just that, swiping the magical cooking book off the coffee table and browsing through it. He wondered if he should make something for them one night, perhaps in the weekend or later when the term break was upon them and he could have the afternoon to sort things out.

"Apologies, Harry. Minerva required something right away." Severus explained, coming to sit down and putting his arm around Harry's shoulders, "Find anything nice?"

"Not yet, well a couple of things, would I be able to cook for you soon? I think it would be cool to try."

"I do not see why not. Perhaps after your end of term tests? It would be more beneficial to put your efforts into classes that require your more immediate attention. Like, Potion's perhaps?"

"Seriously?" Harry huffed, "I thought I was doing really well?" Cursing Slughorn seemed like a really good idea right now.

"They are adequate; however, I believe you may be in the process of applying somewhere that requires excellent grades in this discipline." Severus commented wryly, twisting his head so he could judge the teen's expression, "I am right, yes?" He leaned against the teen as he put his hand into a pocket and pulled out the folded piece of parchment, handing it over.

Harry unfolded it and tensed, realizing the man had somehow managed to pick up the missing piece of parchment, "It wasn't a sure thing."

"Harry, I will not badger you any more about this, we have killed that conversation many times over and I do not feel like another argument at the current moment. You certainly have my full support as your Head of House and Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor. My only advice would be to focus on Potions, your grades are not terrible, but if you truly want to get in on merit rather than name, it would be worth improving your scores."

Sighing, the younger Wizard knew his Professor was right and conceded. Truth be told, this was a bit of a ploy to get himself into the Auror Department to have a look at their investigation on the fire attacks, but was still in two minds about the execution of his plan. The desire to help his Professor was clouding his rational judgement, this was clear in the fact he was obsessing over _Fiendfyre_ , and decided this might be a good time to bring that up.

"Have you heard anything more about the fires?" Harry asked, seeing the mans gaze lingering on the box.

"I have not, no." Taking in a deep breath, he exhaled slowly, calming himself, "You would have thought the Auror's might have found something by now, though I suppose that's the beauty of a spell like _Fiendfyre_."

"What do you know about it?"

"It is a very dark spell, only powerful Witches and Wizards are able to control it, and because it is so destructive, not many use it. There is a very high chance that the caster could perish in their own fire due to their errant thoughts and general ineptitude."

Harry pursed his lips in thought, keeping his expression guarded, "How would one control _Fiendfyre_?"

"Well, I do not know for sure, but it delves into the dark side of Transfiguration. It can produce some incredible animal figures, simply by manipulating fire and air."

"This explains why You-Know-Who was so successful and Goyle wasn't." Harry commented dryly, not trying to show that much interest.

"Indeed, yes." Severus agreed, then pursed his lips, "Harry, why are you really researching this spell? It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact my residence was blown to ashes by it?"

"I can't say that your situation hasn't sparked my interest in the spell." The brunette admitted, biting his lip sadly.

"You are not investigating these incidents, are you?"

Damn, the older Wizard had him there, and he faltered, not sure if he wanted to commit to such a lie when they were doing so well together. By the glare he received in return, that slight pause in his response spoke a million words. In a resigned sagging of his shoulders he covered his face with both hands and shook his head.

"I can't lie to you, sir."

"You need to be focusing on your studies."

"But I _am_. Well, technically I'm doing both, aren't I?"

"That was not my point. Did I not just explain that you should be focusing on important elements of your education." Severus sighed, they weren't going to have an argument now, and took the parchment and book from Harry's hands, putting them on the table.

It wasn't something he was overly proud of in retrospect, but the only thing he could think of in that moment to diffuse any high tension was to then round on the teen when he leaned back and press him into the back of the couch. The kiss, hopefully, told his student what he wanted to achieve and judging by the desperate hands twisting in the front of his robes, he figured it had done just the trick.

Harry whimpered into the kiss, allowing himself to sink into the cushions, and the weight from his Professor helping in that department. Sliding sideways, he pulled the man with him so they were awkwardly horizontal and the angle causing his Professor to pull away with the distance. Green eyes were glazed over and almost sparkled into the lighting, cheeks flushed deliciously and lips slightly parted. It was a carnal image for Severus and he wondered if the teen was giving him permission to get further.

"C-Can… Can we k-keep going?" Harry furrowed his brow in worry, something that Severus thought adorable, and nodded, standing so he could slip the outer black billowing robe off.

The couch had little room for them both, and he considered the bedroom for a moment, wishing he could devour the boy laying down in front of him, so open and vulnerable. He wanted to do this properly, and ended up extending his hand, helping Harry upright so they could relocate into the bedroom. For Harry, it was a tempting reminder of what had transpired previously with his night alone with the man, and it only increased the anticipation of what was to come.

Harry kicked off his shoes and the older Wizard told him to get comfortable on the bed, whilst he did, the man took his own shoes off and deposited them somewhere. The younger Slytherin was aching, and his breathing was already shallow, hitching when his Professor was watching him silently with a carnal expression. Oh, Merlin, he had missed that expression, and he noted with amusement that it was eerily close to the stern one he usually received when being told off. Biting his lip and feeling smug, he knew this was a man in control and happily let his Professor settle over him, pressing his weight down onto his body.

"Are you sure?"

" _Yes, sir_." Harry breathed, his face softening and leaning up for a kiss.

Hands were tentative and light along Harry's body, and the teen placed his own under the man's arms, alternating between pressing them into his shoulder blades and hips. This distraction was bliss, he could feel the stress of his week melting away and pleasure radiating through his body. But that wasn't the only thing _radiating_ that he was aware of, it was the heat of something stiff pressing into his hip that caused his body to explode in a fiery need. How strange it was to think about a Professor in this capacity, feeling their arousal so clearly against his body, which was responding in kind.

He gasped, whining and keening when movement of said hardness moved upward as the man shifted his body. The returning action was so natural, he didn't catch himself rolling his hips upwards until he went to relax and do it again, only to find his back was arching and leaning off the bed. Lips were buzzing and heating with use, he could taste the wine his Professor had consumed over dinner, it lingered on the tongue that teased its way in and licked his top lip.

His vision was a blur of dim lighting and black strands covering his face when his Professor pulled back, sounding slightly breathless and kissed his way along Harry's jaw. A hand came up, fiddling with his tie and shirt, working them apart before lips were at his neck, sucking gently with the odd nip of teeth taking his skin between them to change up the sensation. It was pure bliss for him, he'd never felt such heady desire before and he was unconsciously using the leg that spread his thighs to rut against for more friction.

Whether the man was aware of it or not, similar actions happened against his own thigh and Harry's fingers pressed into his teacher's hips, holding them firmly against him and measuring their movements so they were more synchronized. Grinding together, Harry's body started tensing in preparation, and he cried out when waves of unadulterated pleasure flowed through him, tipping him off to the fact he was about to blow it in his trousers if they kept this up.

" _Harry_." Severus breathed, finally pulling away from the, no doubt, marked neck and instead latching onto the teen's earlobe, tugging gently, _"Let it go_."

The older Wizard hadn't thought about how this night might end, but to feel his Slytherin losing all control of his body in a delicious release of energy and emotion was something he hoped to experience once more. The gentle whimpers and strangled cries that came from this release were intoxicating and he went along for the ride, following suit two lazy thrusts against the teen's thigh later.

Well, there was always new experiences he could note down and forget about immediately, one of those was realizing he, as a grown man, had just done something completely juvenile like coming in his trousers. He didn't know of one grown up that would have let their control slip that much, and so desperately, that they would resort to this sort of pleasure. Alas, he had done it, and one peek at the debauched expression his student wore, it was completely worth it.

He had thought, that once they were done, things would be righted, and they would retire to the couch once more, however when he tried to move the grip on his hips tightened and he looked down on Harry to see if everything was all right. It appeared to be fine, but he could tell there was something being unspoken in the uncertain expression he received. He wasn't going to allow the Slytherin to stay here this evening; however, with it still being early, he surmised laying there for a little while longer would do them both some good.

 **. . .**

Draco was sitting alone at breakfast, giving the main doors a death glare as if it were their fault he was alone. Blaise was Merlin knows where and Harry hadn't come back into the common room that night after his _therapy_ before curfew. It wasn't a therapy session, he concluded, and he had a fair idea where his friend might have stayed that night before sneaking back into the dormitory. Hermione was up with him now, but she was entertaining the Ravenclaws, and by extension, Jason Samuels. Tempted to just leave his pride at the Slytherin table to join them, he was distracted when his mothers owl landed haughtily in front of him, dropping a letter, before flying off again and hitting him in the head as she did. With his heart beating now somewhere in his throat, his fingers shaking as he slipped open the wax seal, he pulled the letter out.

 _Draco, you should know your father and I once had your life planned out. This was not simply an act we took on lightly, these situations are organised and take time to figure out. Your request to have Hermione Granger staying in the manor over the term break is a great inconvenience and deeply disrupts plans that were in place. However, we are not with Lucius anymore, and I believe some traditions may be open for discussion. I will allow you to invite your friend over for the break, she and I will talk, spend time together, and once you go back to school, things will be thought over. Your happiness means a great deal, darling. It is for this reason that I allow you to assert your own path for consideration. Yours, Mother._

Draco blinked at the letter, feeling he world around him slipping away, then he reread the words, trying to comprehend what they were saying. Was his mother going to consider an approved relationship with Hermione? Was there a chance he could get out of the arranged marriage with Victoria? His godfather had said not to rock the boat, but he felt like it had been capsized by the strange response. He should be happy, it was a marked occasion where he is being let to decide his own life.

"Draco?"

Flinching, he looked up to see Hermione's concerned expression, "Hi."

"You've gone all pale, what's going on?"

He watched as she came to sit in front of him, letting her fingers ghost over the back of his hand before he turned it over and let their digits intertwine. He smiled at her, a relieved smile, one that softly pulled at the edges of his lips and was accompanied by the slightest of brow knitting. However, just as he was about to ask her about plans for the term break, another owl swooped down and an official royal purple envelop sat between them on the table. Seeing his name clearly printed on the front, he picked it up and cautiously opened it up.

 _Mr. Draco Malfoy, we are pleased to inform you that your application into the St, Mungos Healer Apprenticeship has been accepted. Congratulations, we look forward to furthering your education in the new year. Please find enclosed all the information you require and additional forms for completion. Kind regards, Rutherford Poke._

Feeling like his entire world was just upended, he stared at the page blankly, before Hermione's voice edged its way into his peripheral and he finally let a relief breath out. Looking up at her and searching for something in her eyes, he finally let the giddy emotion sweep through him, and he grinned with an odd lopsided smile.

"How would you like to spend the break with me at home?"

 **. . .**

 _ **Better? I think I'll retire the keyboard if it's not…**_


	58. Chapter 58

**.**

 **IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE:** _ **If you have not done so, please re-read the previous chapter. After realising some rather embarrassing and amateur mistakes, it has been completely re-written. You will get confused if you have not gone back.**_

 **. . .**

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Yeah, I thought it was sweet for Severus. Hmm, I'm still undecided what I want for Harry. Will he become an Auror or something completely off track? I don't want to get too involved with the Dramione situation, but I figured it might be a nice intermission between scenes with Snarry.**_

 **#michaela-uzumaki:**

 _ **Thank you! I'm super glad my re-write was more successful. You make some interesting points with Draco finding out, you'll have to wait to find out what direction I take ;)**_

 _ **Ha, yes they did get off. If you liked that, I have no doubt you're going to love this chapter.**_

 **#ChiffonShock:**

 _ **I will keep this in mind, maybe write a separate part at the end for you.**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Haha, that fic was partially inspired by the fact that I was BURSTING to write something smutty but this story wasn't the right platform. I hope this won't disappoint you, not at smutty, but there's a little something for you.**_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **My god, I really messed that chapter up… Thanks for bringing that up, because the next chapters (this included) were also massive trainwrecks. Anyway, I hope this runs well.**_

 **. . .**

The trio packed themselves away in the room of requirement heading into their end of term tests, the large area transforming into a relaxing and well-equipped study area which let them spread out and study in silence. When it was nearing dinner, Draco volunteered to sneak into the kitchen and get them some food in order to keep going, leaving Hermione and Harry quietly working away.

Hearing a clearing throat, Harry turned in his chair and saw Hermione standing, stretching out the strain in her shoulders and back before walking over to him. They moved in front of the lightly flamed fire, relaxing into the bean bags and Harry closed his eyes, tipping himself backwards so he was reclined.

"Did Draco tell you about break?" She asked, and Harry cracked open an eye.

"No, what's happening?"

"Mrs. Malfoy invited me to stay with them." This had Harry's attention and he sat up with widened eyes.

"She what?"

"Well, not officially, Draco said I'll receive an owl this week about it, but she told him I was welcomed there."

"Wow. That's great, Hermione." Harry beamed, but then noticing her hesitance, "Isn't that something you want?" He asked, frowning.

"Of course, I mean… I don't know, his family situation seems complicated but I really do think we fit well. Ron made me happy, but there's something different with Draco, and I don't have to keep second guessing myself when it comes to trusting him or wondering where he's gone."

"I didn't know you felt like that about Ron." Guilt wormed its way into his stomach and he gave his friend a sympathetic glance.

"It wasn't your job to keep an eye on him, though the thought is nice. I just think we weren't supposed to get together, the war made us all do some crazy things, and mine just happened to be an ignorant selfish boy."

"Oh, Hermione." Harry was about to stand up and give her a hug when the doors swung open and Draco walked in with arms laden with bowls and plates.

"I think you should go next time, Potter, those elves have a weird thing about my presence." Draco sniffed, setting the bowl of food down between the bean bags and handing out plates.

Hermione and Harry shared a smug expression, and the brunette Slytherin enlightened their friend on why that might be the case. Complete denial was the blonde, but they didn't focus on it long and were soon all in their own minds, chewing absently on food. Harry used this time to stare into the fire, his research project still at the back of his mind but knowing he should be focussing on his exams.

 **. . .**

Severus was a little disappointed he couldn't see Harry outside of classes as the term came to an end, but he was more than happy that time was spent studying. The teen's Potion's results weren't terrible, but he figured it couldn't hurt giving him a little extra push in the technique department. It just so happened that as he was in the classroom speaking to Horace, the trio of Slytherin and Ravenclaw entered the Potion's classroom, all clutching their books tightly and setting themselves up at the front desk.

Making eye contact with his newest Slytherin, he raised an eyebrow and received a guilty expression in return. Eager to know what had the three of them so hellbent on taking up Horace's time, he dismissed their conversation and moved aside, leaning against an unused table, folding his arms across his chest. It was Granger that explained why they were there and the questions they had about a specific potion the test would be focussing on. Giving Horace some credit, it was a particularly difficult potion, but it was hard to listen at the answers to the question.

Unable to listen further, he tapped Harry on the shoulder and the teen followed him back a few steps so they were out of ear shot. His student was looking at him in confusion and hesitance, but he continued on to ask for his book and pencil.

" _You will thank me later. Go back and join them."_ Severus whispered, then sat down at his own table.

Harry kept glancing over his shoulder at their Defence Professor, not sure what he was going to benefit from, but he'd committed to at least trying to get better Potion's marks for the sake of looking serious about his career, if only to get people off his back. It _was_ difficult listening Professor Slughorn, he would go off on a tangent, but thankfully with Hermione there, she redirected back to the relevant facts. Regardless of how many times he referred to her as, _Miss. Gallawere._

Expecting to see the man still sitting there behind them when they were finished up, he was surprised to see an empty desk but the book sitting on it. Wondering what his Professor had even needed it for, he swiped it off the desk on his way out and noted the piece of paper that was sticking out. They were on their way to the room of requirement once more to continue their study, but Harry slowed when he saw the abbreviated questions and more specific answers.

"Are you coming, Harry?"

Staring at the information, it was far better than what Professor Slughorn had just given them and he frowned, looking down the corridor where Professor Snape's private quarters was located. Everything written made sense from what he read, completely the opposite feeling their actual Potion's teacher created. He began wondering if this was the reason he wasn't doing so well in Potions, and thought back to the days of his Half Blood Prince; even Hermione still struggled in the class.

"Earth to, Potter." Draco said, getting impatient.

"I don't think Professor Snape holds much in regard for Professor Slughorn." Harry commented, walking up to his friends and showing them his book, he felt like it was cheating if he didn't share this and the man had done it rather openly.

"Oh, that makes perfect sense." Hermione took the book and started reading through it, nodding and humming in agreement to what was written, "How did you get this – Wait, is this your book?"

"That's what he asked me when we were there." He shrugged, and she looked at him strangely, "What?"

She shook her head, "Nothing, let's go, this is some great stuff. Kind of makes me wish he was taking us for Potions again, even though he was pretty short tempered with everyone, his teaching is a lot clearer. I don't think I've ever had to rely so heavily on my textbook before and it doesn't help most of it is wrong."

Harry would remember to pass that piece of information on to the man later on, and the thought had him fighting back a small smile.

 **. . .**

Nearing the end of the week and the trio were feeling their late night study sessions catching up to them. Somewhere along the long nights, Jason had started showing up to the room of requirement, much to Harry's frustration, but there wasn't a lot he could do and made sure to stay focussed. It wasn't until they all braved the chaos of the Great Hall for dinner that the plans for break were spoken of and Harry gave a knowing look to his best friend, who smiled coyly.

"Well, I received an owl from Mrs. Malfoy this morning, which I responded to this afternoon." Hermione said, and Draco's head snapped up.

"You did?"

"Of course, sorry, I thought I mentioned it before…" The Witch blushed, "I said yes, so it looks like we're heading to yours for the break."

Draco was almost beaming, and Harry could feel the excitement and anxiety dancing around his magic that had heightened. He was happy for them, but at the same time he wondered what Professor Snape would be doing, did he go to the Malfoy's over this break too? And if he did, would that mean Harry was left here by himself? Surely not, and somewhere in the subconscious part of his brain reminded him that they might have had this conversation before.

"Jason, what are you doing?" Hermione then turned their attention to her friend, who shrugged.

"Just staying here, I can't be bothered going home for only two weeks." His tone was carefree, and his gaze was looking just past Harry for a moment, before he smiled to the group, "Harry?"

"Same, staying here. There aren't a lot of options, neither Professor Snape or the Headmistress will allow me to sign myself out to stay at Grimauld place."

Hermione hummed, "It does seem silly that Witches and Wizards who are of age can't leave the castle, but I suppose this wasn't really supposed to happen with us all coming back. You'll be okay, Harry?" She asked, and he nodded.

"I'll be fine. In the castle all by myself, what could go wrong?" He smirked, allowing for Hermione to stare at him, unimpressed.

Speaking of getting into trouble, he looked over to see where Professor McGonagall was and noted she was speaking quietly to Professor Flitwick. They only had one test tomorrow and he knew Transfiguration was over studied, so decided he would break away from his friends when it was time to head back upstairs and elected to stay behind. Mentioning that he wanted to speak with the older Witch, whilst his friends were hesitant, they decided to leave him be, which was a great feeling knowing he was at least trusted by Hermione. When he saw the Headmistress coming his way, he stood and cut her off.

"Potter, what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you had a few minutes to chat?"

"Of course." She nodded and he let her pass, noting that from the corner of his eye he could see the fiercely piercing black eyes watching him across the hall.

Professor Snape could wait, and he wasn't going to entertain him just yet, but it was actually the reason why he wanted to speak with her. Professor Dumbledore seemed to be sleeping in his frame when they arrived, and Professor McGonagall addressed him formally, asking what he needed.

"I was wondering if I could pick your brains about the spell _Fiendfyre_. It's the topic for my research in Defence and Professor Snape mentioned that it had something to do with the dark side of Transfiguration." He explained, holding his breath after the sentence, wondering if she would see through the thin veil and call him out on the topic.

"Interesting choice of topic, Potter." She raised an eyebrow and he knew immediately she'd discovered him.

"Can you blame me?" He conceded, and she shook her head.

"I would have expected nothing less, from you, Potter. And how was Severus when you broke that news to him?" Harry looked away, and she tutted at him, "At least you are putting the time spent researching to good use. He was correct, Transfiguration plays a large part in its creation. However, I think you'll find Charms is another strong element."

"Should I be talking to Professor Flitwick also, then?"

"It wouldn't hurt to see him, why don't you sit and have some tea, Harry. There is something else I wanted to speak to you about."

Moving through to the little sitting room, Harry found the spot cosy and smiled when he was handed tea. They spoke more about the spell, various elements that needed to be considered, and it turned out she was able to cast it, choosing instead not to actively practice it and incinerating herself as a precaution. She informed him that some who seek the power of _Fiendfyre_ have also dabbled with Alchemy, but it wasn't a strong element, just one for consideration. Overall, he found their conversation interesting, but it wasn't to last forever, and soon she brought up her reason for asking him in.

"How are those applications coming along, Potter? Anything strike your fancy?"

He sighed, knowing that if he wanted to get better information on the case relating to Professor Snape's house fire, he needed to get into the Ministry, "Yes, as it happens."

Rifling around in his bag, he pulled out one particular application that he had completed, Hermione helping him with a wrinkling charm to make the pages crinkle free. Handing it to her, she nodded with a pleased smiled, thanking him.

"I will pass this on for you and they will no doubt inform you of the status soon."

"Thank you, Professor… But I was wondering, do you think they would allow someone to do a tour of the department? I mean, what if this isn't really something I want to be doing, especially if I'm going to be stuck at a desk all day."

She considered his request for a moment, "I will speak with someone about this, it isn't an outrageous request. The best time might be break, what are your intentions for the next two weeks?"

"Well, considering you won't let me live by myself at Grimauld place, I'll be staying here."

"I'm sure you can understand that rules are put in place for a reason, Potter."

"I can, doesn't mean I have to like them." He replied honestly, and she nodded almost gravely at him.

When he was free to go, he only got around the first corner when he caught the blackened shadow of someone standing against the wall and turned expectantly towards it, knowing full well who it was. Looking both ways down the corridor, and seeing no one about, he moved into the shadow, leaning against the wall beside the man.

"Evening, Professor Snape. Fancy seeing you lurking around here this time of night."

"I happen to be on patrol, Mr. Potter, looking for trouble makers, such as yourself."

"Why, sir, I'm offended you think so little of me." Harry grinned, though the dark lighting made that hard to see, "But I'd be happy to prove it."

He then gasped when he felt the man covering him with his body, the black billowing cape hiding out the world, creating a cocoon that felt as though they were the only two people in the school. He could tell his Professor was getting closer, but since his hands were braced on the wall either side of his head, there wasn't much distance closing between them.

"So, this what Harry Potter looks like when he's flirting?" Severus purred, his smug expression covered in darkness.

Stuttering, Harry was mostly taken back by the tone rather than being trapped against the stone wall, thinking that he was going to be interrogated over his impromptu meeting with the Headmistress. He recovered, letting his face fall forward and his eyes cast down.

"It might be, I know how much you love it when I misbehave."

Severus sighed, happily, bringing his mouth close to the shell of Harry's ear, "And what better way to treat a misbehaving student, than to educate them on proper etiquette."

"Why, Professor Snape," Harry gasped exaggeratingly, "Are _you_ flirting with _me_?"

The next actions happened swiftly and leaving Harry unprepared, a hand pressing across his mouth as a bite was taken on his neck that had him groaning and half slipping down the wall. The man simply chuckled when he removed himself, and stepped into the light of the corridor, appearing smug and unaffected.

"I'll take that as a yes." Harry half panted, bringing a hand up to his neck and frowning with curiosity.

"Was there something you would like to tell me, perhaps what the urgency in seeing Professor McGonagall entailed?" Severus was beyond curious but tried to act indifferent about it by slipping his hands into both pockets and waiting for his Slytherin to join him.

"Aren't you nosy?" Harry sniped, but fell into step with his Professor as they walked to the Dungeons, "You mentioned Transfiguration was a large part of _Fiendfyre_ , I went to see if that was true and got some pretty cool information. _Useful_ , information," He corrected himself as he looked to the older Wizard, but his expression didn't give anything away.

"I see."

"What did you think I'd see her about?" Harry asked, still curious as to why they were having this conversation.

"Oh, there are numerous possibilities, I imagine, but the more prominent was where you would be residing for the break. Are you heading to Draco's again?"

Harry laughed, "No, not this time. I have enough trouble third wheeling those two anyway without having to deal to them all over each other for two weeks."

"Granger, I presume?"

"You know about it, don't you? I guess that's not surprising." He said more to himself, "Yes, Hermione is going to stay and meet Mrs. Malfoy, should be interesting."

"That would be one word to describe it." Severus mused, happy that he would still have Harry to _educate_ over the break, "I will be residing in the castle, if that had not been made clear already. Perhaps we could make some time to refine your Potion's skills?"

Harry knew he was going to regret saying this, but he ploughed on ahead anyway, " _Just_ my Potion's skills?"

They stopped at the juncture between the common room and Severus's quarters, the man looking at his student and studying the slightly shy expression. He wasn't entirely sure how much he could teach his Slytherin in _that_ way, it would be more or less exploring what they each enjoyed and exploiting it. Well, he'd done that a few days ago and wondered if there had been bruises left from his attention to the teen's neck.

"I am sure we can arrange something for you, Mr. Potter." His tone was even, but his expression bore the smugness, "For now, might I suggest you take these few precious hours before sleep to study up on your last test, no doubt – "

"I could do Transfiguration in my sleep," Harry groaned, biting his lip and giving off a certain expression.

"Absolutely not." Severus quashed any temptation for intimacy, mainly for himself, "You have a test tomorrow and I have an obligation to my _students_ to ensure they are adequately prepared. Do not take these lightly, how many times must I tell you this?"

"Only so many times as I get impatient and forget." Harry lamented, pouting but unfortunately understanding why it was happening, the corridor probably wasn't the best place for this conversation either and to prove his point a student walked past them.

"I will be more than happy to make time once the students have left in the weekend. Until then, I expect you to be doing everything you can to pass with flying colours."

"Yes, sir." Grumbling, he gave the man a tight smile and walked to the portrait, disappointed when he wasn't grabbed from behind, forced into a cramped corner and devoured by his Professor.

Dreams were free he supposed, and with a sly grin, he slipped into the common room, his intentions to shower, something he wasn't going to rush.

 **. . .**

"Just think, the next time we walk out of the last exam, it will _actually_ be the last one." Harry sighed stretching his back and neck.

"Speak for yourself, if mother allows me to follow my Healer career I'll have my first year of just straight testing and assignments before they give me authorisation to practice on people." Draco pointed out, and he was going to try his hardest to make it happen, especially if it was so easy to get his mother to meet Hermione.

"You'll have Auror exams too, Harry. We'll all have things before our profession starts paying off." Hermione chimed in.

"Thanks for bursting the bubble. Remind me never to invite you out for a party." Harry grumbled to the Witch.

"I'm not sure what world you live on sometimes, you say some weird things."

"Yes, thank you, Hermione." He snapped, missing the smirks Draco and Hermione shared as he went to storm off.

The Witch decided they should catch some fresh air and let Harry wander off by himself for the afternoon, directing Draco outside. The sun was out, but it wasn't all that warm and for the first time in many weeks they were actually able to comfortably have some time together without anyone around them.

"Are you sure you're okay coming home with me?" Draco asked, he was actually a little nervous about it.

"Sure." She smiled, but if she were honest, it was bringing up a few of her insecurities also, "It's good to move on from things."

"I'm hoping she won't but… If mother _does_ – "

"Look, Draco, let's not worry about that right now. Harry is almost right, it _does_ feel good to be walking out of a final exam for now. Why don't we enjoy it for what it is and think about the consequences of meeting your formidable mother later?"

Draco nodded, agreeing with her and taking her hand gently. To avoid the other students, he suggested taking a walk around the grounds to clear their heads and chat now that they were alone. It was a peaceful time, comfortable, and when they stopped at the lakes edge, something between them just felt right. Draco hadn't felt this at ease with another person before, aside from his godfather and maybe a little bit with Harry, but not in the romantic aspect. It was refreshing, and hope developed in his chest.

When it was time for dinner, a lot of tired students were sitting in the Great Hall, and Severus was looking out, waiting for Harry to show himself. The Headmistress was about to address the student body when a very exhausted Slytherin walked in with Samuels, who looked equally ruffled. His heart skipped a beat, putting the pieces together and was instantly feeling gut wrenched. Harry had said he was going to stay away from the Ravenclaw, that he would limit contact; well this certainly didn't look like limiting contact, and if he were to say what it looked like, he'd say Harry had just slept with the other student.

Growling to himself, his eyes were like laser beams shooting daggers across the hall, his glare only slipping when he noted the two split off so they could sit with their respective houses. He didn't want to wait until students left in the morning, he wanted to steal the teen away now, so he didn't have to deal with the likes of Samuels, but he knew what it sounded like, just a jealous and unreasonably possessive man. The last time these things exploded was too recent, and he didn't want to push Harry away before things even started.

Belatedly, he realised his gaze hadn't moved from the Slytherin, and green eyes were watching him carefully, he wanted to think, _yes, Harry you should be worried_ , but that was simply ridiculous. No, he could control himself until the following day; he did not have the luxury of his students, their tests might have been over, but he had marking to do. Something he was going to start this evening, so he could get it out of the way. There were two weeks, at least one of those was going to be a proper break where he had finished all marking and class work that would be required of him, for the rest of the time, he didn't know how that was going to pan out. With Harry Potter, it could be anything.

However, with all of that, he couldn't resist checking the register of students that had applied to leave for the break, unfortunately, he couldn't find Samuels on the list, which meant he would be staying. He'd need to trust Harry, he said he would.

 **. . .**

Harry sat in the common room the following day and briefly waved goodbye to Blaise and Draco as they parted company. Leaning back against the couch cushions, he tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling, wondering when an appropriate time would be to go and see his Head of House. There were a splattering of other students staying also, but it was extremely subdued in the common room and when he felt his eye lids shut, he didn't register an hour had passed until he felt a kick to his calf and jolted awake. The jarring in his neck was immediate and he pressed a palm to his nape, rubbing gently as he gathered who had woken him.

"I have been waiting almost half an hour."

"Did we confirm a time?" Harry grumbled, weakly standing up.

"We did not, though I thought it may have been a given." Severus replied, assessing the room and pleased when he couldn't see anyone about.

"Okay?" Harry winced, then pursed his lips, "So, what are we doing today? I figured you'd have marking to do."

The older Wizard looked around once more, feeling a little silly for having come in here at all. He looked like an overly keen clingy boy, excited to get his hands on a new toy; not a sophisticated and even-tempered man who was in control of his needs and desires. Well, at the very least they could sit down at discuss what they might get up to for the break, establish some rules, perhaps.

"I do; however it will not take me the entire break. If you are not doing anything important, you are more than welcome to sit with me until lunch."

Harry appeared to think it over, but he wasn't really, he was just making the man stew because he didn't want to appear too excited to be spending time with the man uninterrupted now that his friends were gone. He told his Professor to go and get started so he could gather some things together, if everything went well today, there could be every chance he'd be able to stay the night. He lived in hope anyway, but the only thing he did when he made it into Professor Snape's quarters, with the man silently marking in the corner, was fall face first into the couch, relaxing.

 **. . .**

Hermione and Draco sat huddled at the head of the train, their hands intertwined and the Witch looking nervously out the window. She had agreed to stay with Draco for several reasons, but to hear this might be implicating an arranged marriage was rather daunting. There was a little resentment towards the blonde not having been completely truthful with her before she agreed, but there wasn't a lot she could do now that they were pulling into Kings Cross Station.

"Hermione?" Draco asked worriedly, noting how quiet she had been.

"I'm sorry, Draco. I'm fine, really. I doubt that after Harry stayed over Christmas, your mother will be completely bitter towards my presence, but the fact still remains that your Aunt inflicted my scars. It's not something that really goes away, obviously, as you'll know."

"This probably won't make you feel any better, but I should tell you that if she doesn't approve, then there is every chance she could disown me. Especially since I really don't want to see you hurt or be with someone else."

"I rather doubt that would happen." She stated confidently, the train jolting to a stop finally and they stood to retrieve their bags.

The Malfoy butler was there to greet them, as per usual, and Hermione held onto Draco's hand as they were led towards the Muggle gateway. Thinking it might have gone without a hitch, both heard aggravated tones coming from behind, but the Witch didn't even need to turn around to know it was Ron's voice.

"Traitor, look at them." Ron barked, clearly still not over the perceived betrayal.

Ginny was there with her mother and George, all looking down the platform at where Hermione and Draco had stopped. She wanted to speak with Ginny, knowing that her friend looked happy to see her, but knew that if she did that, Draco would be subjected to a million questions from everyone. The Weasley's, whilst very close to her, were not family like they were for Harry. It hurt to admit that, and would never openly say it to Molly, but it was true and now it was time to path her own way by leaving with her new Slytherin boyfriend.

Arriving at the Malfoy Manor, Hermione's eyes scoured the entire front of the property, noting with relief that it looked nothing like the previous mansion. That was a good start, the second hurdle would be seeing Narcissa Malfoy, and she squeezed Draco's hand in preparation for walking into the main entrance. His voice echoed through the silent house, as he called to his mother, and it was a tense few minutes that the Witch witnessed him caving in on himself.

"She's always here to greet me home. Always." He commented, letting his bottom lip droop.

"I'm sure she's just busy." Hermione replied, moving so she could rub his back.

An elf came waddling up to them at that moment, informing them that Narcissa was home but in an important meeting with clients. Scrunching up his face, Draco asked who it was but was given a short shift, the elf directing them up the stairs to get settled.

"Mistress was very clear, sir. Two rooms for you both, and I is to check at night that you are both in your own beds."

The elf was almost beside herself, but Hermione gave it a reassuring smile and said everything was fine. They were nowhere near that stage yet, but she couldn't deny the thought had crossed her mind before leaving school to get here.

"This is the room Harry stayed in, he spent a lot of time out on the balcony… If you wanted to sit there."

"Thanks, Draco." Hermione said nervously, taking in a deep breath.

 **. . .**

Forgetting to wake Harry sooner than he remembered, the light moaning from stretching limbs alerted him to the fact he indeed had another Wizard in his rooms. Promptly looking over at the couch, a tired teenager was blearily gazing at him with a lewd smile, one that had him raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

"Pleasant dream is all. _Very_ pleasant."

"Fantasy perhaps?" Severus teased, feeling his face warm.

"Not if it comes true." Grinning, Harry stood and stretched, feeling the cool rush of air on his belly when he reached up to the ceiling, " _Still_ going?"

"I do believe I am due for a break."

 _Good_ , Harry thought, watching his Professor make his way over, sit, and then went to straddle the man's lap immediately. A surprised grunt was Severus's reaction, but now that he had a lap full of deliciously sleepy Slytherin, how could he turn the offer down. It started with a kiss, slow and meaningful; which turned into panting and hands moving across shoulders, necks, hips and backsides. They were finally free of responsibilities, even if for a short time, and they were both painfully aware of this fact.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Severus asked softly, feeling Harry press feather light kisses along his jaw, to which he tipped his head back to grant the teen better access.

He regretted having said anything when these stopped however, and Harry looked him straight in the eye, "We're a proper, together couple, right?"

"That was my definition of, _being with me_." Severus replied, running his hands up his student's thighs and resting them on his hips.

"Well, maybe… We could look at going further. I mean, we have time now, right? And I've been thinking about it a little – " He blushed remembering the other night, coupled with seeing the humored skepticism from his Professor, "A _lot_ then, and I'm interested, curious… And I trust you."

Feeling his own face heating up, Severus nodded, knowing that he too trusted Harry and the decisions he made. Jason Samuels was fading from his mind the more Harry spoke of their, _togetherness_ , making him feel calmer. Fondly looking at the teen, he brought one hand up and cupped the teens face before leaning forward and kissing him gently.

"I will only ever do what you are comfortable with, and I trust that the consideration is granted vice versa."

"Definitely." Harry grinned, suddenly kissing the man back again, hope blooming in his chest and thoughts of what that body looked like under all those clothes causing his lower region to twitch, "Can we start now?" He asked, already shimmying back until he was kneeling between the man's legs.

Severus's breath hitched at the implications, he hadn't thought the teen meant right at this moment but the sultry yet innocent expression looking up at him from the floor was setting his heart rate upwards. The nimble fingers skating up his thighs had his breath shallowing out, was he going to let Harry do this? Right now? He certainly seemed confident in where he was going, so why not let the teen explore. He knew his body was excited, but he hadn't gathered _how much_ until he felt the faintest of pressures at his groin as his Slytherin started to unbutton the bottom of his robes, the finicky buttons having to be concentrated on and the exquisite expressions he received from this was endearing.

Harry was only having trouble because his hands were shaking so much, he couldn't believe a dream of his was being fulfilled. Not only had he been thinking about this for a while now, he tried to prepare himself for what he might find. Seeing another piece of male anatomy was very exciting to him, he couldn't help but get motivated over it, especially when thinking it belonged to Severus Snape. Now the robes were opened and the man's trousers were in view, a bulge was present but that didn't really give him much to go on.

Licking his lips, he reached for the top button and pinched the zipper, his eyes looking up to his Professor and did not regret it one bit. There was a passionate element hidden in those black eyes that bored into him, causing his body to react of its own accord. Pulling the zip down and exposing the meat buried within that was only being held back by a pair of black underpants, he couldn't help the giggle that burst out.

" _Everything_ you own is black?"

Humor danced in Severus's eyes, oddly not feeling self-conscious like he thought he'd be, "It is a nice shade."

Shaking his head with a smirk, Harry looked back down, and his fingers inched towards the waistband. When his knuckles brushed the warm skin of his Professor's lower abdomen, he gasped quietly, feeling his head swim with the realization that he was touching the man so intimately.

"Go on, Harry. It's okay."

Hearing this affirmation that he was welcomed to explore, Harry clamped down on his lip and finally pulled away the briefs, already being able to feel the heat emanating from that particular region. He could feel the light hair that lined the man's pelvic area and wondered if he had a trail that led up further, but his eyes were laser focused on the length that finally sprung from its confines, half erect but clearly excited. It was a heady experience and he licked his lips again, swallowing the intensified saliva in his mouth at the mere sight.

 _Oh_ , Harry thought upon finally seeing what he'd been dreaming about. It was… different. Taking it in one hand, it fit perfectly and was weighted, but slowly as he experimented with a couple of strokes, it hardened. This felt so right, as embarrassing and nerve-wracking as it was, he felt at ease with lazily moving his hand up and down the length.

A sigh from above had him tearing his eyes away from his hands and Severus had one arm along the arm rest of the couch, the other was attempting to grip onto the cushions and a satisfied emotion gathered throughout his body. He was bringing the man pleasure, giving him something rather than constantly taking, it was a good feeling.

Harry felt like asking the man if he was enjoying it, but considering the unguarded sounds and light panting he received from his actions, it was a moot question. Getting bolder as he gained some confidence in his abilities, he thought back to some of the things he enjoyed when he was pulling himself off and mixed up his stokes with gentle twisting, eventually getting his other hand involved to tease the base.

Deeper panting and various degrees of thigh tensing against his upper arms told Harry that things were going well, and he gained a smile as he watched his Professor trying to hold onto whatever reality he thought might still exist. He wanted to scream at the man just to relax and let it all go, but before he knew it, he was leaning forward, getting a soft scent of male musk. It wouldn't hurt to just have one lick, right?

Well, Severus nearly jumped out of his bones at the hot and wet sensation on the head of his erection, his eyes snapping open and looking down to only see a mop of dark hair falling around his robes. Desperately wanting to see his Slytherin's coy face as he did unspeakable acts, his hands gathered the fringe and pinned it back. Harry must have thought that meant stop, but he reassured the teen that he only wanted to observe the delicate movements.

As much as he tried to control his body's reactions, it was difficult, especially when he felt pressure on the head of his center and saw said length disappear into the teens mouth. He thought that might have been the end of his tether, the coil deep within building and his balls spasming. Just when he felt a new height being taken within his loins, he applied a little pressure to Harry's head unconsciously, wanting more of that heat, more of everything.

" _Yes_." He breathed out, his teeth gritting and toes curling within his black shoes.

A whine was heard seconds after his words, Harry was almost calling to him, urging him to finish the game, but he never wanted it to end. Then, when he thought he'd fooled himself it hit him and a long groan working its way up from deep within his chest. Fingers gripped tightly into brunette locks as he forced Harry's head down onto his jerking length and was distantly aware of a strangled choking sound from the teen, but he released his hold and let the hand fall to his side quickly.

Harry was feeling rather accomplished knowing that he'd successfully brought the man to an orgasm but the surreal nature of it had him on a high and a weird sensation growing in the pit of his stomach. It was a combination of what he might feel when feeling anxious and getting in trouble, but he couldn't put his finger on what it was.

His eyes focused on his Professor as he leaned with his forearms across the man's thighs, his jaw slack and taking deep breaths, coming to terms with what happened. Severus looked down, noting the sparkle in green eyes and the parted lips, oh that beautiful mouth, with the tongue resting across the bottom row of teeth. His Slytherin looked about as debauched as he felt, and beckoned the teen to get off the floor, tucking himself away in the process but not bothering with buttons and zips.

Harry nuzzled against his neck, and he brought his arm around to hold the teen close. This was a step further, and he wanted to reciprocate, but didn't think this would be the right time. Perhaps in the evening when things had cooled off and had a clear mind. For now, he was going to enjoy the company and let a lazy lip curl show his satisfaction.

"Thank you, Harry. Who knew your tongue had a wicked way?"

Still tasting the fluid on his tongue, Harry cuddled into his Professor, now feeling giddy once more and painfully aroused in his trousers. It didn't seem appropriate to whip his own arousal out and finish himself off as they sat there, but his body was strung high and he couldn't help but fidgeting.

"You usually call me out for being gobby."

"Only because you can be a brat." Severus replied, kissing Harry's crown, "Somehow, somewhere along this strange journey we have embarked on this year, your irritating and disregarding traits have now become endearing."

"Well, if that's not a compliment, I don't know what is." Harry grinned.

Silencing the teen with a kiss, they remained where they were until lunch where Severus made them go up for food, if not for a change of scenery. Naturally, he saw Harry and Samuels sitting together and whilst the Ravenclaw was speaking animatedly to his Slytherin, he couldn't help but notice the teen withdrawing from the conversation. Eyes occasionally meeting across the room, and though he shouldn't have been questioning Harry's loyalty, he was happy to see actions taken to not lead the other boy on.

 **. . .**

An elf came and collected Hermione and Draco later on, informing them that their presence had been requested. Not wanting to keep his mother waiting, but hesitant about how the first meeting was going to go, Draco stopped the Ravenclaw before she so much as stepped out of her room. She tried to tell him everything would be all right, knowing in the back of her mind that if things turned pear shaped, she could escape to Grimauld place for the rest of the break or request that Professor McGonagall let her back into the school.

Meeting Mrs. Malfoy at the bottom of the main stairs, the two teens stood side by side, Hermione trying to remain calm and confident, but Draco had no such eloquence and stood with a worried expression on his face.

"Hello, Miss. Granger."

"Thank you for allowing me into your home, Mrs. Malfoy." Hermione replied, then taking a breath as she saw the woman surveying her with a blank expression.

"You're different to how I remember." Narcissa commented, coming closer and inspecting Hermione's face, "Healthier, and happier."

At this Hermione averted her eyes to the floor with a smile before looking off to the side, where Draco was standing nervously. Narcissa caught the action and her entire demeanor changed, relaxing and her expression softening. Holding out both her hands, with palms up, Hermione blinked and hesitated before placing her hands face down in the Witches grasp.

"The two of you must be famished. Come and have something to eat."

Draco, surprised at the situation, followed his girlfriend as they were led into the sitting room, rather than dining area, where a spread of food was laid out and tea offered. This was bizarre, had his mother really just opened up to the idea that he and Hermione were in a proper relationship, would she accept the Witch as his? He wasn't talking about marriage, he didn't know if that would ever happen between he and Hermione, they had only just started seeing one another of course. This was a lot to take in.

 **. . .**

 _ ***snorts* Gobby.**_


	59. Chapter 59

**.**

 _ **I promised I wouldn't delve too far into the Dramione, and I stand by that. Just so we're clear.**_

 _ **Enjoy :D**_

 **. . .**

Harry had his feet up on the coffee table, looking at the box which didn't seem to move very far, that he knew had tokens from the man's past. Said Professor was sitting at his desk marking, but curiosity was quite literally killing him, and he fidgeted mercilessly, forgetting about the magical cooking book in his lap. They had spent little time together today and as compensation, his Professor was allowing him to stay the evening, though it wasn't very exciting right now.

"Harry, if you do not stop tapping that table, I am going to bind you." Severus commented, getting fed up with the gentle shaking associated from the teens jeans rustling.

"Sorry." Harry muttered in response, trying a different tack by laying across the couch, but it wasn't doing much good, "Sir?"

Severus hummed.

"Your photo albums, could I look at them?" He sat up and looked over the couch, across the room.

"Why on earth would you want to do that?" The man replied, not looking up.

"Curious."

"Which killed the cat." At this the man sighed and finally tore his gaze away from the marking, "If you must. Please only look at the Slytherin album. I have not had a chance to open the rest."

Agreeing and knowing it was a lot for his Professor to let him, he opened the box and heard the thud of metal at the bottom, which would have been the prefect and head girl pins, before pulling out the green album with silver serpents set into the cover. Opening it, he immediately sought out the picture with a very young-looking boy, possibly five or six, but he could tell it was his Professor. The same boy was in another picture, his hair sticking up at odd ends, obviously not having grown out yet and had to admit, Professor Snape looked cute.

"What are you giggling at over there?"

"There's a photo here of before your hair grew out."

"Ah, yes. Those awkward teen years." The man said with humor.

" _Teen?_ " Harry frowned, this photo looked like an eight year old.

He heard a deep sigh before the scraping of chair legs across the floor and soon a shadow was cast from the back of the couch as his Professor loomed over him.

"I would not say we had the same upbringing, but they were certainly similar. The first day I saw you, there was so much of James in your face that I had to double take, because you looked sick and malnourished."

"That bad?"

"It was not my place to mention it, Minerva knew however, which frustrated me to no end that Albus did nothing about it. We know why he chose those paths though." At this Severus kissed Harry's temple and ran a hand down one shoulder, before making his way back over to the desk.

"Yeah." Harry said, mostly to himself before getting back to the album.

In another there was a thin woman, she was smiling and so was the little boy. He didn't know where they were but it seemed happy and relaxed. He could see in the younger boys face that he got the thin figure from his mother, well he assumed this was Professor Snape's mother, judging by the hollow facial structure. He peered over the couch again and studied the man's face, he thought that the long face had been because of not eating properly and stress from the war, but it may have been hereditary. It had filled out a little more than when he remembered from the beginning of the year, almost healthier, he looked good.

This album certainly told a story; there were two family photos with father, mother and son, but then they trickled to mother and son, and just as Professor Snape made it to eleven years of age, it was just of him. Awkward teen years were right, what he guessed was his third and fourth years at Hogwarts, there were some pretty bad photos, and in the senior years, it all turned into dark scowls and petulant postures. He could see the story in his head, mirroring it to his own journey and felt his heart go out to the man. Professor Snape just needed some love, he was sure of it.

Putting the album down on the table, he stood with determination and walked right up to the man, going around the desk and catching his attention in the process. An expression of confusion registered on the older Wizards features but Harry was resolute and twisted around so he could kiss the man soundly on the lips. He brought both hands up and took his face between them and kissed again, hard and caring.

"What was that a made of?" Severus asked with a gentle frown.

"Just reminding you that you mean a lot to me." Harry replied honestly and with a crooked smile, he went back to the couch and picked up the cooking book, missing the fond expression that followed his actions.

He was going to make the man dinner this week, he was committed to showing his Professor that he meant a lot and deserved this treatment.

 **. . .**

Severus woke feeling a little disorientated when he heard whimpering from beside him and the bed jerking sporadically. It was only when he became fully conscious that he realised Harry was having a nightmare and rolled onto his side to work the teen into his arms in an attempt to sooth him. Distressed moans and uneven breathing showed he was in the throes of something terrifying, so he started whispering softly, telling his Slytherin that everything was fine, that he was safe.

His last resort was going to be shaking the teen violently to stop the dream but he didn't particularly want to scare him also. Luckily, the soothing voice seemed to calm his bed partner and noises that accompanied waking followed, including the tensing of muscles. There was a damp patch along the teens back that suggested he'd been uncomfortable for some time and it was only now that he'd been roused, but he didn't mind at all being woken, in fact, he preferred it knowing his student was safe.

"Sir?"

"I am here."

Shaking muscles gave away the fact Harry was beginning to cry, so he turned the teen over so they were facing one another and tucked him under his chin. Severus had been surprised and whilst they spoke of dreams and night terrors, this was the first time he could immediately help. It was comforting to know he could keep the teen safe and away from the world, even if it was at night.

"Hush, Harry, you are safe."

After getting the tears out of his system, Harry pulled away and asked if the lights could be put on low. Complying with the request, he saw the reddened eyes searching his face for something in his own eyes before the younger Wizard was getting out of bed and using the facilities. Giving Harry some space, he said nothing when he returned and simply remained strong for him, providing an ear if it were required; and it seemed like it was.

"I think your photos have been playing on my mind," Harry was looking at him, still searching, "I know things weren't the best with your family, but you had your mother… I want to know what that feels like."

Severus's heart went out to Harry, it really did, but there wasn't a lot he could physically do about it, there was always going to be a void. His own mother had been kind, when his father wasn't been a prick, and no he hadn't had the most nurturing of childhoods but he could still recall the sweeter moments with the woman that gave birth to him.

"I often wonder what I could do to make that happen." Severus said softly when Harry's eyes looked down between them.

"She can never be brought back."

"No, neither of them can be. And whilst we may be able to speak to them, it will never fulfill your needs."

Harry sighed, "The resurrection stone."

"Yes."

"But you want to get rid of it."

"Most certainly, it would not be healthy for either of us to be in possession of it." Severus affirmed passionately.

Harry hunkered down beneath the covers, feeling the man holding him securely and nuzzled into the shirt covered chest, taking in his Professor's scent and natural essence. There was a gap between his neck and the start of the night shirt buttons where he could feel the gentle texture of chest hair, the sensation strong and intimate. He could lay here forever, if only the man would keep him there.

"Sir, can I ask something personal?"

"You may, though I might not give you an answer." Severus replied honestly.

Taking a moment to prepare himself, he brought in a lungful of air, "Who would you most want to speak with if you got hold of the stone?"

Severus felt the tension in his arms up until the teen asked and relaxed a little. Who _did_ he want to see? Lily would probably start yelling at him; his mother would likely do the same… There was no one else – No, he had a family cat when he was six who died suspiciously, but not being able to speak _meow_ or touch it seemed like a moot point.

"Neither option would be particularly pleasant, I feel."

Harry had a feeling he might know who the man was referring to and decided to leave it at that. There were a lot of people he wanted to see, his parents, Sirius and Remus, maybe his grandparents if he knew who they were… That was actually a lot of people.

"Can we go and find it?" Harry suddenly spouted in the silence.

"For the stone? To what purpose?"

"I don't know." And it was true, aside from visiting his parents and letting them know what was going on, he had no other reason to summon the dead.

 _Do not pity the dead Harry, pity the living; and above all, those who live without love_.

Professor Dumbledore's words echoed in his head and he ended up nodding in the quiet room. Leaving the topic for now, Harry yawned, feeling a little better now his heart had stopped beating a mile an hour and started to lazily press his lips against the man's collarbone. Having no idea of what the time was, he decided to see how far he could go and with the hand that was trapped between both of their chests, he pulled at his Professor's night shirt, exposing more of the delicious chest that he couldn't really see in the shadows because the lighting was so dim.

"Will this help with your nightmares?" Severus asked, curious as to where this was going.

Feeling his mood lighten, Harry hummed, "I'm not sure… can we find out?"

Severus couldn't particularly argue, though he was still concerned about Harry's mental well being after the disturbing dream, whatever it may have been. Instead he let his Slytherin take control, allowing the exploration under his shirt where hands unbuttoned the top of it and lips pressed over his heart. Rolling onto his back, he felt the shift of legs so the teen was half straddled across one thigh, their chests coming together, and one hand finding the band of his sleep pants. He did not wear underwear with his sleep clothes, there was usually no point, but he could have done with wearing some this evening as he was freed within a matter of seconds with one simple tug at the drawstrings holding them up.

That same hand then skimmed over his uninterested groin but then went under the shirt, it almost seemed like it was searching for something and he belatedly realized that ever since they'd both woken up, that's what the teen had been doing. Was he trying to find something in particular, or was this simply exploring their new relationship? He really needed to find out what had been in that nightmare, it might have been the key to what was happening right now.

Even with the soft caresses along his body, he registered that there was something missing from what he could feel along his thigh. Harry may have been draped half across him, but there was no firmness pressing into him like a hormonal teenager might have after methodically mapping someone's body. He refused to think that it might have been him, that what the teen was feeling wasn't quite what he expected, but he wouldn't have been surprised. Their journey had not been under the clothes aside from their particular male organs; and he wondered, what if he was too hairy?

Harry sighed, his head on Severus's chest, one finger tracing a circle under the shirt on his peck, casually rubbing over his nipple on occasion. It didn't seem like a bad sigh, in fact, when the body relaxed on top of him, he wanted to believe it was one of content. When Harry's limbs finally went completely limp and breathing had evened out, he relaxed himself too, knowing that whatever just happened had been a positive experience and pushed the negativity out of his mind.

 **. . .**

Harry felt lethargic and grumpy when he woke later in the morning, so it was probably a good thing that Professor Snape wasn't beside him when he finally came to. He had a hazy memory of what had happened, something about a nightmare and waking up to find safe arms wrapped around him. He'd dreamt about his parents, well lack thereof, and felt with renewed passion to go out and find the resurrection stone. His Professor didn't have to particularly like it and he was happy to go out by himself and find it, but there was that niggling doubt in the back of his mind that wanted to have the man with him when he _did_ find it.

He wasn't a complete fool, he wouldn't mention it today, or even this week, because things were going well between them and rocking the boat wouldn't have been a smart move with his friends not there. Plus, running into the unfortunate eager hands of Jason would be more hassle than it was worth.

Rolling onto his side, he noted the bedroom door was ajar, a shadow silently moving about in the next room assured him that his Head of House was still there, he didn't even know what the time was to even worry about what he'd missed or who might be looking for him. However, just as he was about to get up, a black figure blocked the door and came inside. The lighting grew gently brighter, staying dimly light so his eyes weren't abused with sudden brightness, and the older Wizard came towards the bed, speaking in the softest of voices.

"Good morning, Harry. How are you feeling?"

 _How am I feeling?_ Wondering what that meant, he frowned gently, but his unease and confusion disappeared when a comforting hand ran through his hair and he sighed, relaxing if at all possible back into the pillow. Said pillow hadn't actually been his, it was his Professor's and he took great appreciation in that fact, making him feel mildly happier.

"I could stay here all day." Harry responded finally, and the man gave him a small smirk.

"That, I do not doubt. However, if you hurry, there may still be some breakfast for us upstairs."

Harry felt guilty for having slept in and made the move to sit up, "You didn't go?"

"The elves arrived with some coffee, so, not yet."

"You should have woken me." Worriedly, Harry inched his way out of the tightly gathered sheets so he could get dressed.

Severus watched his Slytherin, then stood himself to give the teen some privacy in changing when he saw him gathering up clothes from his bag, "After last night, it was clear you needed the rest. When you are ready, we can leave."

Shutting the door behind him, he looked at the unpacked box from his vault and went over to start packing it all away. He didn't need to be worrying about Harry getting his hands on any of these items just yet, he would speak of them when ready. The box was closed and he moved it over to his desk, putting it behind his chair so it was out of the way. Harry resurfaced when he turned around and saw the teen move towards the couch where he picked something up.

"You must have dropped this." Harry said, after turning the envelope over in his hands and walking towards him.

Thanking the teen, he left it on his desk for now and took his student in his arms, holding him for a moment before pulling away so he could look into the dazed green eyes. Visibly, the teen looked tired, and wondered if he should get the younger Wizard to stay with him for the day, just so he was in the quiet and could rest. As they walked side by side up to the Great Hall, Severus wondered with irritation, when he'd become so soft and let the teen under his skin so much. It appeared to him, from the surface, that tending to Harry's needs was something he found himself doing naturally, not even thinking twice.

Rounding the corner to the hall, they both bumped into Minerva, who after recovering from the shock of running into someone looked relieved to see Harry. Severus didn't stop, but once he had passed on a few steps, he turned to assess his Slytherin, who was being accosted by the Headmistress.

"Just the person I was hoping to see, Potter."

"Good morning, Professor." He said politely, before covering up a yawn behind his hand.

"Dear me, it's only the first few days and already you're running low on energy?" There was humor in her tone, but Harry could tell there was a little worry.

"Nightmares, Professor." He affirmed, before adding, "Just from the stress of exams is all."

"I see, well I'm sure you did marvelously well, just like your previous tests. Now, I actually came to see you about the Auror visit – " At this Harry swung his head around to make sure his Head of House was out of ear shot, and was pleased to note that he was, "Something the matter, Potter?"

"Er, do you mind if we take this somewhere else?" He asked worriedly, and with an intrigued expression, the Headmistress walked him around the corner.

"As I was saying, Gawain Robards, the Head Auror will be coming to visit on Wednesday to see you. Upon my letter he was positively delighted to hear that you would be considering becoming an Auror. Before I even asked, he had offered to give you a tour of their Department, an considers it a personal honour to show you around."

" _Wow_." Harry whispered, partially wincing at how pathetic it all sounded.

"Yes, Potter, you are greatly sought after this year." Professor McGonagall replied, and Harry could see her eyes shining with pride, "I have refrained from informing you before now, however there are Quidditch scouts who have been watching you this year, amongst others, and have invested their interest. Other Ministry departments have also expressed their awareness of your talents."

"Seriously? But – " His disbelief was palpable.

"But _what_ , Potter? This is simply the truth. Now I will let you get on with your morning, and I will see you in my office Wednesday mid morning." Patting him on the shoulder, she moved away and Harry numbly turned around to get some food.

He really wasn't in the right frame of mind to be informed that there were people outside the school who were almost fighting to get his attention. That, he supposed, was the great thing about Professor McGonagall, and the knowledge that she had sheltered him from this was a reminder of how much he really respected her. Tough but fair, and he admired her for that. _Merlin, Professor Snape is going to ask about this_ , he grumbled when he entered the hall, sitting where there was food and grabbing something small.

 **. . .**

Harry let his Professor leave before he did, giving it a few minutes before sneaking away and following the man back to his quarters. When he shut the door behind him, the man had already disappeared into his laboratory and went to a cauldron that had already been prepared.

"Did you know about the people trying to scout me for jobs?" Harry asked, standing in the doorway.

"Is that what Minerva wanted?" Severus replied, hesitantly looking up, and a guilty expression briefly crossing his face.

"You did, didn't you?"

Putting down the stirring rod, he indicated for Harry to come in and take a seat in front of the cauldron he was tending to, "Yes. She received the first letter a month into the school year, I suggested she screen the rest so they didn't get to you."

Harry settled himself on the stool in front of the cauldron and peered into it before he was handed the rod, "Why didn't you say anything to me? You've been pushing me all this time to get my name out there, and yet people are almost banging down the doors to get to me."

"Truth be told," Severus admitted, coming back with a jar of roots and a knife, "Stir three times, then dice two roots; I had forgotten about it by the time career options came up between us. I apologise for that, however, in hindsight are you not grateful to have the pressure off?" He stood mostly behind his Slytherin, so he could watch what he was doing.

"It just took me by surprise, that's all. I am happy, really, although if people knew how unhinged the war made me, would they still be offering positions in a Quidditch team?"

"We are all affected in various ways, I expect they would understand and possibly accommodate? Certainly the knowledge that you sought a therapist after it all happened would alleviate concerns. However, you needn't worry about all that for now. I need you to focus on dicing those roots, here…" He moved around Harry, encasing the teen in his arms and placing his hands over the ones working on dicing.

In fact, he was so close to the teen, he pressed himself right up behind his Slytherin, his chin at the temple, as he showed how he wanted them done. The younger Wizard let him move their hands about, enjoying the comfort and warmth associated with the action, as well as letting a smile grace his lips. _Private_ Potion's lessons, he could get used to this, and wasn't going to complain.

"Does it really matter how small the cubes are?"

"You'll notice once we put these into the mixture, they will absorb quickly. For this particular potion, we need fast acting Peruvian root once we've added Mermaid tears, otherwise it will become unstable and explode." Severus explained, taking his hands away and moving to the other side of the room for a small vial that had a dropper.

Harry nodded, experiencing old feelings that were associated with his Professor teaching Potions. He actually missed being taught by Professor Snape, not that he didn't have him as a teacher at all, but he was almost reliving the more intimate memories from his Half Blood Prince.

"What are you smiling about? Finally feeling a passion for Potions?" Severus returned, and with his presence, moved back up against his student in preparation for adding the tears.

"Just thinking about your old textbook. Oh, and you might be interested to know, Hermione said she misses having you teach Potions."

"Is that so?"

Harry hummed in affirmation, and without being told, had the diced roots on the edge of his cutting board, ready to add when the man aimed the dropper over the potion. After four drops were applied, he pushed the small diced root with the back of his knife and they fell into the liquid, making it turn a bright purple but died down when the older Wizard picked up the rod and started stirring.

"Would you ever go back to it, if you were offered Potions?"

"After having petitioned for years to get Defence? I think not."

"But you still brew things." Harry relaxed, leaning against the man's chest, unashamed of his actions.

"Very different. Here, I can enjoy the discipline, whereas looking at dozens of ruined cauldrons and inhaling foul odors due to the ineptitude of uneducated miscreants, would put me into an early grave." Shuddering, he remembered Longbottom, the worst student he'd ever had the misfortune of educating in that class.

"You really give us credit, don't you?" Harry sniggered and found a pressure just above his temple when the man pressed his mouth there.

"Indeed, it was no secret I despised the lot of you."

"You're doing a really good job of making it sound you don't like me."

"On the contrary, Harry, I find it all very – "

" _Endearing!_ I know, I know." Feeling better than he had all morning, Harry swiveled around on the chair and positioned himself so his Professor was standing between his legs.

Looking up at him with a coy smile, the man continued stirring and intent on focusing on the potion, so Harry let him, not wanting to disrupt the concentration and let his eyes wander along the many buttons that held his Professors customary robes securely in place. There wasn't much time where he was left to sit there, the moment he heard the stirring rod being placed on the bench and the click of the Bunsen burner being turned off, hands were at his hips, holding him in place as a kiss was pressed to his lips.

He was surrounded in the familiar scent of Potions and his Professor's comforting presence, which enabled him to forget about what had happened that morning and enjoy what was happening in the now.

 **. . .**

Hermione was sitting on the balcony, understanding why Harry had spent so much time sitting out here. The view was beautiful, especially when the sun was setting over the manor at night, and it allowed her to relax a little. So far their holiday had been spent in the library studying but she couldn't help wondering if it was her over active imagination thinking they were being watched, or if there was something more sinister about the way the portraits acted in her presence. She had said something to Draco the day prior, though he hadn't been much help, as he'd never had a girl staying in this capacity. There was a courting process that generally went along with the arranged marriages and so he was a little out of his depth.

Mrs. Malfoy was rather pleasant, Hermione wasn't entirely sure what she'd expected but at no point was she made to feel unwelcome. Now however, it was coming round to high tea, an afternoon sit down with the Witch and she was a little nervous. Whilst her family had never been poor, this was a completely different ball game, filled with traditions and pureblood snobbishness. She was still half expecting to wake up from a dream that she'd had during the train ride to London where this would all start over but with a nastier atmosphere.

"Miss. Granger?"

She slipped off the railing where she'd been sitting on the stone wall and went inside to see an elf standing there nervously.

"Mistress is ready for Miss. Granger."

"Thank you." She smiled, and then noticed the royal navy blue dress spread across the bed.

She hadn't seen it in her life and went to question the elf who then instructed her that this was what she must wear when seeing the _lady of the house_. Wincing awkwardly, Hermione half smiled before going about getting changed into the gorgeous dress. It was slim fitting and was a perfect size for her body. Glad she'd put on a little make up that morning, she slipped into the bathroom and fixed her hair quickly. This was going to have to do.

There were matching shoes at the end of the bed that she hadn't seen previous, and marveled at how well everything fit her. Wrapping the sheer scarf around her shoulders and arms, it was now time to face the music and nervously walked down the corridor in what she believed might be sealing her fate. However, she was much surprised to see that the sitting room had been changed completely and was set up with beautiful cake stands. The table where Mrs. Malfoy sat was in the sun, perfect for a secluded chat and gave off a relaxing feel.

"Miss. Granger." Narcissa acknowledged, standing and with a smile, took one of Hermione's hands, "You must forgive me for the dated fashion in which we meet today."

"Not a problem, Mrs. Malfoy. This all looks lovely." Hermione replied, trying to make the forced smile look more natural.

"Please, sit. We have much to discuss"

 _I don't doubt that_ , Hermione thought almost bitterly, taking a seat in the comfortable chair and feeling the calming effects of the sun on her skin. After being offered tea in beautiful royal china cups and saucers, they were silent for a moment, but Hermione knew better than to speak first out of respect for the host. Whilst not growing up with these customs and traditions, she was book smart on the topic.

"How have you found your time here? I hope things are to your standards?"

"Very much so, Mrs. Malfoy. This dress, in particular, thank you."

"No trouble at all. I must say, this colour agrees with you, _Ravenclaw_ suits you."

 _Ah, not a Slytherin…_ Hermione noted but if there was a dig at this, the older Witch was hiding it well.

"Ravenclaw is certainly a lot more sophisticated than Gryffindor and less brash students. Good for studying and focusing on what happens after school."

"And your plans post-Hogwarts?"

"Law, Mrs. Malfoy. It's a fierce debate on which area I want to specialize in, as I feel passionately about the treatment of house elves and Muggle born rights."

There was a brief moments silence after this, and it took Hermione a few seconds to realize that she was talking about this stuff with a Pureblood Witch, one who was very strict with traditions and the _Pureblood_ way of life. She may as well have just hit the final nail in her coffin with that, but remained as calm as she could. If this was going to end badly, the least she could do is act dignified about, and took a sip of her tea.

"It was inevitable," Narcissa lamented, a genuine smile playing on her lips that had Hermione pausing on her second sip, "Malfoy men tend to go for the intelligent women."

Hermione let out a breath, a nervous huffed laugh as she realized this was an accepting gesture to what she had just said. There was no contempt over what she wanted to do after graduation, nothing belittling her efforts to get into the Ministry or Law, not forgetting what she was interested in, it was fine. Then, suddenly Narcissa was extending her hand, and shifting the cup and saucer back onto the table, Hermione reacted by offering her hand.

Unfortunately, the dress and scarf didn't cover up her forearms, and as he reached out a frown pulled at the Witches immaculately kept brows. Wanting to recoil away, an understanding and empathetic expression crossed Narcissa's face after which, they made eye contact.

"Family, will always be family, by blood and name. My sister however, bless her deranged soul, I fear had an unusually low tolerance when it came to violence. I will forever apologize for her actions, war or no war."

"I hardly notice it anymore." Hermione responded truthfully.

"You are a beautiful young woman, marred by something that will forever be a constant reminder. I admire your courage to continue, it hasn't been easy for any of us."

"Thank you, Mrs. Malfoy." Hermione nodded, feeling her hand being taken delicately.

"Please, Narcissa will be fine." The older Witch replied, patting the top of Hermione's hand, "All I've ever wanted is for Draco to be happy, and I see that he has finally reached that place."

Relaxing, Hermione reached across and placed her other hand on top of the pile, returning the sentiments. The moment was shared only between the two Witches, both satisfied and comfortable together. Hermione couldn't wait to go and find Draco after this, to hug him and offer him the first of what she hoped might be many kisses. Proper kisses. Not the stolen ones they had shared up until now. Some might have said that jumping from Ron to Draco was too soon, but this felt right, they understood each other better than she ever comprehended the red head. There was hope, and she prayed off it until she saw the blonde later.

 **. . .**

After having sent Harry to bed, his own bed, Severus wandered about the castle on his night time patrol. There seemed no point in having the teen stick around when he would be gone for a couple of hours, even though there was hardly any need for him to be on patrol during the holidays. However, one empty bed in the Ravenclaw tower, and another from Hufflepuff, had Severus and Poloma scouring the corridors to find the rule breaking students.

He would definitely be seen as a hypocrite of course, breaking several rules between teacher and student, not to mention curfews when he allowed Harry to stay with him, but of course no one was ever going to find out about it. No harm, no foul. Regardless, when he found the short Herbology Professor waddling down the stairs from Ravenclaw tower, she informed him the two students were found.

"No matter how many times we tell the students, they just never listen, do they?" The Witch sighed, shrugging out her tiredness.

"Agreed, this year the older students certainly appear to be pushing the boundaries more than usual." Severus replied, thinking of all the students from fifth year and above.

"And it will only get worse for the next two years until those who actively fought are gone. It's going to be an interesting time until then. Good night, Severus."

Nodding, he bid her farewell also and went to retire. On his way past the Slytherin common room however, he paused, and pursed his lips. Students snuck out all the time, tested the limits and patience of their Professors, so why not take the trouble _to_ his Slytherin. A smug pull at his lips sealed the deal and he slipped into the Slytherin common area, noting with pleasure that it was abandoned.

Silently making his way to the end of the dormitory corridor, he pressed his hands against the handle and the wood of the door, looking around to ensure no one saw him about to enter. Satisfied his cover was intact, he turned the handle and disappeared into the senior boys dormitory where one, Harry Potter, would be alone and hopefully sleeping.

There was a familiar deep green hue to the room, but otherwise dark, when he moved towards his Slytherin, he heard a sigh and then the rustling of covers, but nothing more. This was bold, even for Severus; he was here in the dormitory, about to wake his Slytherin, and for what? His body was telling him one thing, pleasurable currents coming alive and circulating his veins, making him feel younger than he'd experienced in years.

Before losing his nerve, he found himself pulling out of the black material of his outer robe, moving to sit at the end of the bed as he then removed his shoes. When he stood, there was a moment where he thought the rest of his attire was too much, and found himself unbuttoning the front of his top to reveal the white shirt beneath it. Placing it, and his outer robe, on Draco's bed, he went around the side of Harry's, lifting the covers and sliding under them.

Harry roused at this, but he whispered soothing words into the teens ear, just to make sure he knew who was there and not to be afraid. There was a sleepy giggle he was treated to at this, and it made him feel even more rebellious for sneaking into his students' room. When he was asked what he was doing there, well, wasn't it obvious? Severus simply pressed his mouth to the nape of Harry's neck and let his free hand wander.

"I have always wondered what the appeal was with students skulking about the corridors, now, I think I know why." His voice was almost a purr as he placed his palm flat over the younger Wizards groin, curling his fingers gently around the soft mounds and massaging.

Harry took in a breath and sighed in a whining fashion, not pushing him away at all, subtly jerking his hips. It didn't seem to take long for he felt part of the squishy lumps in his hand harden, as well as breaths becoming shallower and more needy. Knowing it was late at night, Severus kept his voice low and asked if this was what the teen wanted, knowing that in these early stages, he still hadn't read Harry all that well on these things.

A hand was brought up, and he soon found the brunette's head twisting around and hands in his hair, moving them into a kiss. Pushing himself up, Severus then partially loomed over Harry, slipping a leg between the two bare ones and stimulating the groin harder. It seemed, when he was alone, his Slytherin preferred to sleep just in a tee shirt and his briefs, which suited him fine and, at last, there seemed enough pressure within the confines to be uncomfortable. Harry was impatient as ever and with his other hand, pulled himself free, only, Severus wasn't going to let him do it at all, that was the entire reason why _he_ had snuck into the dormitory in the first place.

"Sir?"

"Does this excite you, Harry?"

The response was a whimper as he finally took the length in his hand, surprised with several things but not wasting valuable time thinking about them. He reveled in the noises that his student was making, feeling himself getting aroused in the process; though silencing the louder moans as required, not that anyone was going to hear outside of the room. Severus found a thrill in that idea, knowing what they were doing was completely disregarding the rules, finding the appeal in why students did it constantly.

Slow strokes was his motive, varying the firmness of his hold which was well received, and lazy thrusts were made to gain more pleasure from his hand. The kisses he received, had started as sweet and passionate, then became weak and misguided after some time, which Severus accustomed to the teen beginning to lose himself in the present. When he felt the teen was close, he sped his movements, letting a deep and low growl spur his Slytherin on. The result; a gasp and broken kiss, before a rigid body jerked upwards and into his hand firmly, followed by warm liquid running down his fingers.

Humming appreciatively at the effects of his ministrations, he captured Harry's lips once more, leaving his hand where it was and listening to the ragged breaths. In that moment, he wished he could see more than the dim outline of his student, wanting to set his keen eye on the flushed, debauched face he could only imagine the teen wore.

As breathing evened out, and the firm length had started to mellow down into his hand, he finally extracted it, uncurling his grasp. Belatedly realizing he couldn't reach his wand from this position without covering himself in the evidence of his inappropriate late night visit, he told Harry to grab his own. When he felt the spell cleared his hand, and hopefully the run away drops, he took the younger Wizard in his arms and took in a deep breath.

There was no doubt Harry would feel how excited he was after what he'd done, but this wasn't a time to be reciprocal, he simply wanted to enjoy this for what it was and worry about things later.

"Feel free to come here again." Harry smiled giddily in the darkness, nuzzling against the soft white shirt and finding the prominent collar against his forehead.

"I might have to before break is over, however, I mustn't stay tonight. Regretfully, this bed is rather on the small side." Even as he said it, he knew he was precariously close to the edge and was relying on Harry to keep him on the mattress.

"Then, maybe I can stay with you tomorrow?" Hope was high in the teen's voice, but Severus would think about it.

"We will see. Have pleasant dreams, Harry." And kissing his beautiful green-eyed monster one more, he slid out of the bed and hastily made his retreat back out of dangerous territory.

 **. . .**

 _ **Sneaky little snake, no? Besides, I have to give you**_ **something** _ **before the storm.**_


	60. Chapter 60

**.**

 _ **Dun dun DUUUUN.**_

 **. . .**

Arriving at the Headmistress's office just after mid-morning, he found the head Auror, Gawain Robards sitting at a chair in front of the Witches desk and they both looked pleased to see him entering. He apologized for being late; he had been trying to tackle his Defence Professor all morning after letting slip he had to see the Headmistress again. After pushing, the man had finally been able to extract the reason for him having to delay their Potion's lessons till the afternoon; safe to say Professor Snape was a bit frustrated by the time he left.

"Hello, Mr. Potter. It is good to see you again."

"Auror Robards, I really appreciate you coming to see me." Harry rushed in and went to eagerly shake the man's hand.

"Potter, we have been speaking and I am happy for the two of you to make tracks. We would hate to take up your valuable time, Gawain."

"Nonsense, Headmistress. We are more than happy to accommodate, Mr. Potter. In _anything_." The man replied.

However, when he turned to gather his letters that were on the seat, Harry looked to his Professor with an expression of defeat, of course none of his applications to the Ministry or wherever were going to matter. Especially not if they all had the Auror's same impression of him, he could quite literally pick a profession and they'd accept him, no questions asked. It seemed the older Witch knew this too, and her expression changed from confidence into resignation.

"Well, let's not waste time. Ready, Mr. Potter?"

"Yes," He replied, taking his turn to follow the Auror down the stairs, "See you soon, Professor." He continued, turning to face the Headmistress, who nodded with an almost grave expression.

As he and Robards walked the corridors of Hogwarts and out into the grounds, he wondered if all of this was a show. Professor McGonagall already knew that his intentions for getting the tour were, if not to have a genuine look around, were to get inside information on the progress on these _Fiendfyre_ attacks. She was a smart Witch, impressively so, surely, she understood that his research and this tour were connected. Whatever it was, he needed to focus and as they reached the parameter of the castle's wards, he was offered the arm of the Auror.

Appearing again in the Ministry of Magic, he was in a corridor that didn't look familiar and took his time looking at all he could. This must have been the Auror Department and found himself grateful that they hadn't appeared in the main arrivals area. He hadn't been along the hall of flue networks in a couple of years and found his heart rate unusually high, just knowing that he was in a place that brought him no pleasant memories in the past.

Nevertheless, he had a _tour_ to be taken on, and swiftly they moved into a large area with lots of desks and pin boards that appeared to have active cases. Yes, he was most certainly standing in the main hall of the Auror Department and took a deep breath to calm his nerves as he followed the man closely.

"As you can probably tell, this is where all the main action comes from. Each member is part of a unique team made up of various strengths. Most of the cases you see here are active or have been put on hold when a more urgent one comes along. If you follow me this way, I'll take you to our senior Auror's where the high-profile work is done." Robards' explained, and Harry subconsciously found his fingers reaching for his wand.

Going through a door and narrow corridor, it opened out into a quieter room where a couple of individuals were sitting about. There were two large boards off to his right and found his heart thumping in his throat. Professor Snape's house, along with several others were pinned up on the board and he took in a breath, unaware he was holding it until Robards' came back to see him staring at it.

"Yes, one of our most prominent and frustrating cases at present. Are you close with Severus Snape? He must still be a Professor of yours, yes?"

"He is, though we aren't close." Harry lied, thinking it was better to distance himself in case he was told he wasn't able to stay and have a look, "Do you mind if I – "

"Oh, go ahead. I'll be back in a moment."

Harry peered over his shoulder when he saw that the Auror was being waved over by a colleague, who, upon seeing who was in the room, beamed at his boss. Giving the other Wizard a brief smile, to be polite, he turned back to the board and scanned over the information. Adrenaline spiked through his body, he'd planned for this to happen, but it all seemed far too easy and whilst it had him airing on the side of caution, he was lapping up everything he read.

A common thread the notes indicated, was that every time they got close to a suspect, they suddenly vanished or there was no recollection of it. Finding it strange, he moved in closer on a photo of a house that looked familiar. Reading the notes, his eyes widened when he saw the location in Godric's Hollow. _Who lives there?_ He wondered, scouring for a name, reading the various pieces of parchment that had been stuck with writing that was illegible. Giving up, he looked to where his Professor's house was, the photo on loop in flames, and read the finer details of the report.

It appeared to be inconclusive, the only witness was a Muggle, who had been later interviewed and suddenly had no memory of the event. It was obvious to Harry that after reading the next two cases, with similar reports of the witnesses withdrawing their statements due to loss of memory, that something was amiss. One witness, sure; two, maybe; but all of them in relation to the wider joint case, that was strange.

Standing back and evaluating the connections, he felt like he was being watched. Thinking it was Gawain Robards, he looked over his shoulder, only to find him still in deep conversation with the same Auror, plus another. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket, and finding the handle of his wand, he looked around the other way, not expecting to find anything, but suddenly frozen in time when he saw a familiar face standing in the doorway staring at him.

He tried not to react visually, but his instinct to attack a Deatheater on sight, was second nature to him. He knew that face from Voldemort's inner circle, so what in the name of Godric Gryffindor, was Conrad Yaxley doing standing in the heart of Britain's Ministry of Magic, Auror Department? The man didn't seem very happy to see him, and who could blame him, Harry was seconds away from blasting a _Crucio_ his way simply for being in the same space.

Thinking logically and not reacting immediately, he acted as if he didn't care he was standing in the same room as a Deatheater and turned his attention back to the board. In his mind however, it was racing. Was he reformed? Did he still have some hold over someone in the Auror Department? His ability for the _Imperious_ curse was renowned, so who's string was he pulling?

"Find anything?"

Harry jumped at the sound of Robards' voice coming from beside him, "No, nothing that you don't already know."

"That's a shame. Anyway, shall we continue the tour? I think I might show you the more unsavoury side of what us Auror's do, how about the execution room?"

Harry swallowed, nodding numbly and not particularly paying attention on the man beside him, but rather, the blonde evil who had since disappeared from his peripheral vision. They walked back through the main area and in the background, there was a flash of white, before they were heading down another corridor. Coming to an elevator, they stepped in and were whisked away.

Robards' was explaining how executions of sentenced Witches and Wizards were dealt with, apparently not all bad eggs were sent to Azkaban Prison, and a lot were sent to, _the death cell_ , which was its informal name. Harry hesitated when he recognized the black tiles in the Department of Mysteries, and this was something his tour guide picked up on.

"All right there, Mr. Potter?"

"I'm not sure I'd be welcomed in here. Last time I destroyed the prophecy room…" He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, trying not to let his anxiety get the better of him.

"All part of the hair brained schemes of the fallen Dark Lord. You're more than welcome here, so, shall we?"

Swallowing, his heart rate increasing ever more, he finally shook his head and backed into the corner of the elevator, demanding that he be taken away from the place. He could feel bile rising in the back of his throat, and the image in front of him started distorting, growing blurred. The temperature was increasing rapidly, and his breathing became shorter, giving room to more panic that he would lose his mind in the public's eye.

Gripping his bangs tightly and pulling at them, he slid to the floor with his feet curled up in front of him; he began chanting, almost begging for Robards' to take him back to school, or at the very least, away from the Department of Mysteries. He missed the concerned expression because his eyes were shut so tight, but at least the man adhered to his wishes and soon they were safely in the schools grounds.

"Potter, please write to me. I'd be more than happy to…"

Whatever the man was saying, it drifted off with the breeze after Harry transformed into his wolf form and sprinted as fast as he could back towards the castle.

 **. . .**

Severus was sitting at his desk marking when he heard a howl from outside his door before said door blew open and he saw Harry mid transformation back into his human form coming running in. Up on his feet, he came around the desk to see fear in the teen's eyes and tears running down his face. Immediately concerned, he swept his Slytherin into a hug, listening to incoherent ramblings and tightened his arms when he felt like the teen was starting to fight the hold.

They remained standing, with him embracing his Slytherin tightly until things started to calm down, not knowing what transpired that morning. He then edged them into the laboratory when the teen was silent and shaking. Gently placing his frightened student on the bench, he went to fumble around the draw of potions to find the one he was looking for, thinking the worst had happened and cursing himself silently that he should have accompanied the teen.

Green eyes surveyed him like a lost young dog, and he found himself mirroring the sadness, uncorking the vial he'd picked out and coaxing his student to drink it. There was nothing sinister, it was simply a calming draught, which worked immediately, and he took his Slytherin into another hug, ensuring his own breathing was controlled, before instructing Harry to copy him.

When he was sure it had worked, and only then, did he dare to speak, "Harry, what happened?"

"I-It just s-snuck up-p on me… Myster-teries."

Frowning, Severus shook his head, not understanding what was being said, and when Harry went to open his mouth again, that's when he decided they could talk about this later. For now, damage control was in session and he all but picked his Slytherin off the chair and carried him to the couch where the blanket was summoned, shoes were removed and the usual position was assumed.

Judging by the blank stare into the unlit fire, Severus let things calm in the younger Wizards mind before he asked again what happened, getting a house elf to bring them each a strong hot chocolate for good measure. This wasn't how today was supposed to end up, Minerva had assured him after he caught up with her, that it was simply a visit and nothing more. Well, she had another thing coming if she ever decided to ship him off like this again.

Of course, he shouldn't be completely blaming her; the way Harry had spoken about it earlier, it had sounded like something a reckless Gryffindor would do and Minerva was smarter than that. Too Ravenclaw for her own good, but courageous enough to stand up for the right cause.

"I shouldn't have gone." Harry finally said, unknowingly having dipped his nose in the cream of his hot chocolate, and Severus swiped it off with his finger, "Thanks."

"What happened? Did you have an argument with someone, did they say anything unreasonable?"

Harry shook his head, pausing and fixing his eyes on something, then shaking more, "It wasn't the Auror – " Pausing only to swallow the sudden lump in his throat, he continued, "He took me to the Department of Mysteries. I hadn't been… I mean, it was so long ago now but – "

"Hush, it was an anxiety attack? Were there voices or memories?" Severus held his Slytherin close, speaking softly.

Harry closed his eyes, remembering the dead eyes of his godfather, flashes of green, loud bangs… His hollowing and bone chilling screams and the rage of killing. He wasn't that person; he couldn't kill anyone, that wasn't who he was. Even thinking about it again now, his chest heaved, and tears stung against his closed eyelids, slipping out and running down his cheeks.

Severus was there to move the cup, placing it on the side table before he wiped the tears away. He didn't have to know what exactly it was that Harry saw for him to understand the anguish he still felt towards past situations. This was a strange situation, but it didn't mean the teen was weak, just unprepared, and perhaps this hadn't been the best thing to jump straight into. Severus really wished he had gone with the teen, not to ensure it didn't happen, because there was no reality where he was that good, but instead to manage it.

"I don't want to become an Auror."

"Do not be hasty, this doesn't mean you are – "

" _No_ , you're not listening. I _never_ wanted to be an Auror, this was never about _becoming_ an Auror."

Severus went silent, not understanding what the younger Wizard was being so passionate about. If it hadn't been because he wanted to join the department, then why had he insisted on going to the –

"Oh, Harry." It went off like a Muggle light bulb in his head, "You went for the cases."

Deciding not to verbally reply, Harry sat there numbly and nodded, before holding out his hand, indicating he wanted to consume the rest of his hot chocolate. In this moment, sitting there like a child on his Professor's lap because he _still_ couldn't handle the pressures of his memories resurfacing, he felt like the ultimate failure. It was becoming ever clearer that he would never make it on his own without the man, he couldn't be trusted to act alone, because when he did, the only thing he brought himself was pain. How could he be there to support this man when he couldn't even look after himself? It was embarrassing, and yet, he couldn't bring himself to move from the safe spot.

"Does Minerva know about this?"

"By the time Auror Robards arrived, I'm sure she'd pieced it together. You're disappointed, I know."

"It is not for me to tell you what is wrong, and what is right in this instance. You are hurting, and it appears to me you know exactly what has happened, aware that your choices have taken an impact on yourself. Let me be strong for you, if that is what you need right now." Severus surprised in himself at the level-headed reaction, but his words spoke truth, there was clear pain and he wasn't going to add to it right now.

A little while later, after Harry had fallen asleep exhausted from his terrifying ordeal, Severus carried him to the bed and put him under the covers. It was terribly domesticated of him, and frankly it was wrong, but he didn't feel comfortable just leaving him to go back into an empty common room where he could let things fester and not be under his eye. No, he left Harry there and penned a note; leaving the light dimmed but not so dark he wouldn't find the letter, before fire calling Minerva to see if she was available.

Not hearing anything back from the Witch, he went to the coffee table, still facing the fire and sat down, resting his elbows on his thighs to prop his head up. He needed to know what Harry saw, there had to be something more than what was being said.

 **. . .**

It was inevitable, Severus thought, that when he opened the paper first thing in the morning on page three, there would be an article about the sighting of Harry Potter in the Ministry of Magic's Auror Department. It had been a hotly contested debate, even among staff over the years, that when everything was settled, Harry would go off to the academy and train as an Auror, one day taking over from Gawain Robards.

However, knowing the state his Slytherin returned in yesterday and after the admission that he had only gone for one purpose only, it seemed the world had taken a tiny news story and blown it up to catastrophic proportions. The younger Wizard may not have been capable of speaking about what happened when he returned to school yesterday, but he certainly had some explaining to do with the article that was published.

It might have been for the best he'd kept his Slytherin with him over night, if not to ensure he didn't have a recurring nightmare, but to save him from finding out through others that he had once again made headlines in the Daily Prophet. He supposed, for once it wasn't a scathing report on war related topics, simply hearsay about what his future career plans might be. Apparently, they were the Auror Department.

Coming into the bedroom, he sat on the side of the bed and worked his fingers through the matted tresses of dark locks, frowning at the lack of upkeep his student was currently showing and remembering to address it later. The action of getting his finger caught in a tangle, roused Harry and the teen scrunched up his face in pain momentarily before blearily looking up at him.

"Apologies for waking you." Severus said in a low voice, but Harry didn't seem to mind and with a deep sigh, he began sitting up.

"Don't tell me…" Harry's guts twisted and possibly snapped in two halves when he saw a really bad photo of his face on the page his Professor was looking at.

"There is no cause for concern, simply small-minded individuals thinking you are giving them hope that you will one day shortly, become the new poster child for the Ministry."

"Ah, jeez." Harry groaned, moving to take the paper from his Professor and finding the lighting increased slightly so he could read it.

For once, he was actually impressed they managed not to slander him for something that was ancient history, but there was the odd dig at his prior news story about viciously attacking another student. On the whole, he had featured in worse, but gave the older Wizard a wary expression when he felt the cold shift in the room.

"I should start by apologizing for lying. Your trust means a lot, I should have come clean from the start." Harry folded the paper and put it beside him, then made a point of looking his Professor in the eye, "These are the lengths I go to, I'm not justifying what I did, but in my mind all I wanted was to get a closer look on this case. Unfortunately, I think I found more than I'd bargained for."

Severus was instantly intrigued, and nodded to accept the apology, "Go on."

"Corban Yaxley."

Harry held his breath, watching for any indicator that would make this name mean something, and he wasn't disappointed. His Head of House immediately tensed up and his nose flared, with the pulling together of his brow, the anticipated question was asked about the relevance of that name.

"I saw him. He stood about ten feet away from me when I was looking at the cases. He didn't appear at all impressed to see me there."

"And? What did you do?"

"Nothing. I didn't react at all. Why was he there? Should he not be locked up in Azkaban? The psycho tried to kill Hermione, Ron and I when we snuck into the Ministry. That's how Ron got splinched."

"I do not remember hearing about that." Severus shook his head, and Harry elaborated, retelling the story in brief quick notes.

"Before the Dark Lord was defeated, he spent a short period in Azkaban before he fled, that was the last I saw of him. Actually, I had not realized he was still around, the last I heard he had disappeared at the final standoff, by which time I was already in hospital."

They both shuddered at the memory, for differing reasons.

"This means something though, yes?" Harry asked passionately, "How – I mean, it can't be a coincidence that every single lead the Auror's get in each case suddenly loses their memory. How can they not know who's wiping the events from these people's minds?"

"Is that what you found?"

"Every single case, yours and everyone's. The weird thing was one that happened in Godric's Hollow, but I have no idea who was living there and there was no name on the notes that I could clearly make out."

Severus's eyes widened and he stared at his student for a moment, but just as he saw Harry about to open his mouth, he interjected quickly, "You are correct, that is very strange. Did you tell Robards that you saw him?"

"He was standing in the room when he was there. No one batted an eye lid."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. Sir," Hesitating, Harry knew this was going to be a balancing act kind of question, and he only hoped their new relationship was strong enough not to cause an issue, "What if he was pardoned, like you. Would we not have heard about it though?"

Severus's eye twitched at the suggestion, he could remember only too well how the media circus had reacted to the news that he was being exonerated, but he had to be rational about it all and admitted, Harry asked a good question. An important fact that needed to be addressed, but delicately.

"If he had of been, then yes, there would have been some form of coverage from the Prophet. Harry, this _is_ strange; Yaxley was part of the Dark Lords inner circle, _very close_ inner circle. We had our share of disagreements, and if what we are both thinking is true, then I would not be surprised if he took the preferential treatment I was – " He stopped himself, holding back a lump of unsavoury coffee bile that as threatening, just at the mention of Harry's transportation night, "There was a time, many times in fact, where the Dark Lord trusted my word over Yaxley's. He could very well have known that should something like this happen, I would be stuck with little options or money."

Merlin, he didn't want to have the financial chat with Harry, but at the same time, something the teen said back when he was retelling the way Weasley was splinched, stuck in his mind. This meant, there was a possibility Harry might have just put himself in danger too, but there was no point in being a scaremonger, and there was little fact for his theory anyway.

"What should I do, then? If I go to them and say what I know, who would believe me?"

Severus shook his head; at the very least there would be himself and Minerva. The rest, well, that was a whole other issue.

 **. . .**

Whilst feeling better, Harry was still feeling off about his day at the Ministry. His Professor had called the Headmistress, and they were speaking in her office as he sat in the Great Hall for lunch. It was in times like these, he was glad to have his Professor by his side, supporting him like this. It was just a shame his friends weren't at the school so he could talk to them also, however, his other sort of friend Jason Samuels was walking over and sat with him.

"Nice mug shot in today's paper." Jason smiled, and Harry had to make himself laugh along, he didn't want to feel anxious anymore, too bad it wasn't a tap, so he could just turn it off when he needed to.

"Thanks. Honestly, I'm not even news worthy."

"Oh, yes you are, darling." The sandy blonde winked, and Harry rolled his eyes dramatically and in good humor, "Anyway, now that you're back safely under the wards of Hogwarts, what are you doing today? I was going to head into Hogsmeade for some retail therapy. If you have nothing planned, I would really like you to come along."

Nothing had been discussed about the afternoon, and Harry didn't know when Professor Snape would be done with the Headmistress, so he decided that instead of moping about he would go into the township to distract himself.

"Only if we can go to the Hogshead and get smashed on butterbeer." He joked, and Jason's entire face lit up.

"It'll take more than a few butterbeers, but I'm sure we can find something stronger there. You're on, Potter." The Ravenclaw laughed, and Harry couldn't help but smile too.

Severus on the other hand was fuming when he found out the two students had left the school. Not that he blamed Harry for wanting to have some company, but for a start, it was Jason Samuels, and secondly, he'd left the school grounds. The town had little protection, a step up from before the war when there was none, but he worried for his Slytherin's safety.

Being the good Wizard he was, he too decided to make his way into the town, not necessarily hoping to run into Harry, but at least to know he wasn't in any trouble. It was difficult not to storm over and rip the two students apart when he saw them entering a robe store, but at least he'd seen the teen unharmed. He himself had decided something should be done to protect his student seeing as he was never going to be keeping eyes on him all day, every day.

When he'd gone back to his rooms, the intention to continue marking, the box caught his eye and he rifled around it to find the Slytherin Prefect pin his Grandfather had earned. Harry was never going to be allowed to wear it officially, but there was a way he could let the teen know he was safe at all times. The pin, he was taking to the local jewelers, now he didn't have a lot of money and was going to do the charm work himself, but he was going to convert it into a necklace. Something his student never had to take off, and could be proud to know that if he had legitimately been a Slytherin in his final year as a Hogwarts seventh year, then this would have been awarded to him.

Happy his alterations could be done straight away and within his budget, Severus went to the window and looked at the township. He saw his Slytherin walking slowly down the street, Samuels had a large bag he was carrying and the animated way in which the two of them spoke, whilst didn't sit well with him, he had to admit seeing Harry smile was good.

The two students walked straight into the Hogshead from there, and he narrowed his eyes, wondering if he should duck in there and check they were being responsible. They weren't the only students in Hogsmeade today, but it didn't hurt to ensure they were all being well behaved and was going to use that cover when he went across the street.

Deciding he would spend some time in the Apothecary and picking up the latest free catalogue, almost an hour had passed, and he had no doubt Harry was still in the pub. In hindsight, he should have intervened quicker as he saw Samuels first, sitting alone in the corner before spying his Slytherin at the bar, chucking back something in a small shot glass, before Madame Rosmerta handed him two butterbeers. Shaking his head, he went straight over to the brunette, leaning against the counter and narrowing his eyes.

"It's not what it looks like."

"It is _exactly_ what it looks like, Harry." Severus replied, then shot the bar woman a nasty glare that had her rolling her eyes and wandering to the next patron, "If you had of ordered these alone, we would not have an issue. Drinking, Harry, really?"

"It's been a rough couple of days."

"The last thing you need to add is alcoholism on that resume of yours. Now, I am going to speak with Madame Rosmerta about not allowing either of you to purchase anything more this afternoon. You are going to enjoy your drink, then will promptly get your backside onto school grounds." He explained with an edge to his voice, and Harry looked sadly into his butterbeer, "There are other ways we can look at unwinding than using alcohol to numb that pain."

"Can we just go then?" Harry asked sullenly, but Severus glanced over at Samuels who was watching worriedly.

"No, your friend is waiting for you. It would be rude to leave without saying goodbye. Enjoy this drink, I will see you – "

"Stay. I'll have this quick and then we can head back together?"

Severus couldn't admit he felt a little proud that Harry was choosing him over the Ravenclaw, but it was all absolutely ridiculous. He wasn't some pubescent teenager who should be concerning himself with the popularity over another student, fighting for the attention of one man. But, then again, it felt good to be chosen. He then agreed to meet Harry at the café, he would wait there for him and perhaps they could go via the forest to spend some time together on the fresh air and alone from society.

"Are we in trouble?" Jason asked when Harry finally got back.

"Not with you, I accidentally ordered a spirit shot and he saw me drink it just as I was going to head back.

"Aw, where's mine?"

"You need an excuse to get drunk?"

"Like anyone ever needs an excuse." The sandy haired teen joked, and Harry smiled too, trying not to seem too keen on leaving, and sipping his butterbeer quickly, "Actually, there was something I wanted to talk about…"

"Okay?" Harry gave him his full attention.

"I wasn't completely truthful about my desires to stay at the castle this break. There's someone I wanted to be around," Jason admitted, and Harry immediately had his guard up, "He's a Hufflepuff, and, oh my word, we were busted the other night by Professor Sprout."

"What?" Harry suddenly giggled, slapping a hand over his mouth.

"It's funny, don't you think, that Hermione brings us together mainly for your benefit, but when I find a guy I'm really into, you're the only person I want to chat about it to?"

"Oh, so it's a serious thing then?" Harry asked, feeling strange about being a confidant, but relaxing knowing the pressure was off him.

"We've been fooling round for a few weeks now, there's always been something. In classes, he's always making eye contact and trying to distract me. Then," Jason blushed and started to hide his face, but Harry actually found himself genuinely interested in the flirting habits of two males, "We were paired up together in History of Maigc, and you know how those desks are laid out, you can't see what's going on under those tables."

Harry then listened as his friend started laying out a step-by-step recall of the day he was given a handjob under the desk with Professor Binns. His mouth gaping throughout, he started to grow more interested in the next story about how they were about to finally seal the deal with sex, and was hooked on the details, asking questions were appropriate, right up until the moment Professor Sprout had caught them.

"So, what's the _real_ reason you stayed, Harry?"

"What do you mean?" The brunette asked, genuinely confused.

"Well, surely if you had the chance to get out of the castle you would, so… A man in your life? You seem pretty close with Professor Snape."

Harry's blood ran cold, but he wasn't embarrassed or blushing like an immature schoolgirl, he was the opposite and frustrated that things had been assumed. Forget about the fact he was correct, he was angry.

"I couldn't leave the castle, even if I tried to." Harry said calmly, smashing back the rest of his butterbeer, before slamming it down on the desk, "Let me give you a bit of a Potter family history, shall I? You should already know that my parents died when I was a year old, and their parents, well, they perished before I was even born. Moving on to the present, I was living with my abusive Aunt and Uncle from my mothers side, whom of which I have not seen in a couple of years and quite frankly I'm rather grateful to that. I watched my godfather get killed right in front of me by his cousin, Remus Lupin was killed in the war, so, let's see, who does that leave?"

Jason went to interrupt, but Harry was on a roll.

"You want to know why Professor Snape and I are close this year? He's the only person that has been there to stand alongside me, he's not only my Professor, he's my therapist and my friend. This year is a strange one for Professor McGonagall because she can't let the seniors sign themselves out from school; we need a guardian. Well, considering I have no family to speak of, and the only two people remotely fitting that role being those who are already in the castle, that doesn't leave me a lot of options." Harry stood at this, he was done with the conversation and whilst he was cutting their time short, he really just wanted to find Professor Snape.

"My autobiography may as well an obituary of all the people I've lost in the short time I've been alive. Professor Snape is an important person in my life, the only other adult who I trust and respect, alongside the Headmistress. Don't insult my circumstances by thinking you have any idea what it's like to live in the outskirts of a world people take for granted."

If Jason was going to reply, he didn't hear it and shrugged his coat on as he walked out of the pub. The café wasn't too far away and he broke into a run to get there quicker, happy to see his Professor sitting alone and behind the safety of a Potions catalogue. Relieved to be in the presence of the older Wizard, he took the seat opposite the man, who put his catalogue down and was searching his face.

"Has something happened?"

"I don't think you'll ever need to worry about Samuels again, he sort of dug his own grave just now."

"Oh?"

"Do you want to get out of here?" Harry asked, looking around the café and finding a couple of students looking at them.

 **. . .**

"Sir, why don't you want to know about your grandparents?" Harry suddenly said, his hands were in his pockets and head bowed as they entered the forest.

Severus looked ahead briefly, before turning his head to the side and gazing into the distance. He had opened the box and gone through its contents but there hadn't really been anything in there that pointed to why it had been left to him. Perhaps it was just a case of finding items one day and thinking, _the grandson can have these._ No, it wasn't that simple, and he didn't believe in coincidences of them reaching out so soon after the fire to his house. It was strange, he owed them nothing, _wanted_ nothing from them, being content with what he had because it was the most he'd had since Lily passed away.

"My grandparents are Purebloods from a very strict ancestry. I'm sure you saw enough of the Malfoy structure to know everything is done for a reason, a simple action will always be calculated out and planned."

"But what could be so bad about contacting them? Just to say hello?"

"Harry, you're not getting it," Severus said, stopping them and turning to his Slytherin, "My mother was ostracized from that family, their _only_ child – "

"That you know of."

" – All because she got in tows with a Muggle man regardless of whether he was a gentleman or not. What could they possibly want with me, hmm?" Severus explained, his tone partially urgent but for the most part even.

Nodding, but clearly not completely happy with the answer, Harry turned to keep walking, briefly looking over his shoulder and brushing his fingers across his Professor's. It hadn't meant as much, just to feel something and to let the man know that he wasn't upset with their conversation, however, being the pushy one he was that wouldn't leave anything alone, he spoke again.

"Do you know _anything_ else about them?"

Severus sighed, "Only about as much as anyone would about their estranged family. The package that had been sitting on the coffee table didn't provide many answers."

"You went through it?"

"Yes, the letter you picked up must have dropped from the items." The man replied casually, and sensing like the conversation still wasn't done.

"It's just, aren't you curious? You said they would want something from you, but maybe they're just old and want to know their grandson? What if they left you money, or heirlooms, or – "

"And you said my mother might not have been the only child." Severus raised an eyebrow, and Harry's face flushed, realizing his mistake.

"Fine, you win."

"It is not about winning, Harry. You know my life has been lived in the shadows; and just like your readjustment into school this year, the same goes for my personal affairs."

Harry conceded his Professor had a point, but he still couldn't get it out of his head. If he had the chance to know family, then he would do so. His Aunt and Uncle didn't count because they had genuinely been awful to him and he didn't need that kind of negativity. But for all Professor Snape knew, these relatives could be really nice and thoughtful, hadn't that been the intention when they left whatever it was in the box that the older Wizard was afraid of?

Severus paused, gripping onto Harry's arm to stop him from walking. The man looked around and Harry did the same, not really sure what he was looking at or for. About to open his mouth and speak, his Professor put a finger to his lips and then pointed to his ear. Obviously, they were listening out for something, but Harry didn't know the first thing about what that was supposed to be. All he could hear was the rustling of a light breeze running through the tall trees, a faint buzzing sound, and the odd cracking of twigs or wood that – hang on a minute, he knew that sound, the buzzing, it wasn't buzzing at all.

Taking a step forward, he tried to look around for the source but was finding it difficult. That's when changed into his wolf form and swung his head this way and that. His Professor then did the same, and with his wolf hearing, knew exactly where the sound was coming from. Adrenaline coursed through his veins and without thinking, he took off in the direction of the sound. He couldn't believe it, without even trying they'd found it, he was finally going to be reunited with his family… hopefully.

His heart was beating fiercely, it almost drowned out the flapping noise of what he knew to a Snitch; not just any Snitch however, it was _the_ Snitch. The older Wizard probably didn't even know what he was seeking out, just that it had an intriguing sound. Harry knew they shouldn't and should have given the man an indication that they were about to stumble across something that had been the center of several debates thus far. But as the sound got clearer, Harry's Seeker senses kicked in and he could see the gold ball darting around a small area, it was now time to inform his Professor of what was happening.

Changing back, and standing beside his companion, he put his hand between the panthers shoulder blades. His Professor stopped and turned his head upwards to see what the touch was for. Kneeling so they were at eye level, Harry made a point of looking into those yellow green eyes seriously, his lips pressed together.

"I'm not sure if it will even still be here, but this is where I dropped the resurrection stone."

Those beautiful panther eyes widened and immediately, Harry was being towered by his Professor who had changed back and was helping him stand. They were both hesitant, and the teen kept his eyes firmly on his Head of House, trying to judge how the man might be feeling. Of course, his attempts were futile and he gave up, watching the Snitch instead, seeing how it was dart in a triangle shape before inching towards them, then going back to it's formation.

"What is it doing?" Severus asked, frowning.

"Snitches have flash memories, but this one has been tampered with. Professor Dumbledore had charmed it only to react with my presence, it's protecting the one thing that was hidden inside it. I'm guessing the stone is still here, and I think we can assume it is somewhere within the shape it's flying in."

"Harry…"

"Just a peek, sir." Harry said distantly, moving forward and getting the Snitch all excited to see him.

Holding out his hand, the Snitch bailed on its duties and landed in his hand, folding its wings up and settling down. He placed it into his pocket after this, knowing that he could certainly use it for Quidditch practice, if nothing else. Stopping and peering down at the ground, he considered his options, knowing that if he were to find it, he would most likely summon his parents at the least. Professor Snape said they should destroy it however, so would it be ripped from his hands and blasted within seconds? He glanced over his shoulder and saw the man warily watching him. It wasn't just himself he had to think about today, it was his Professor too.

Using his foot to kick away the pine needles and dirt, the light caught on something shiny and his heart skipped a beat immediately. It _was_ still there, very much in the same place where he left it and knelt to the ground for a closer inspection.

"Is it there?" Severus asked worriedly, unsure of where this sudden insecurity came from.

"Yes." Harry replied, before reaching down to pluck it from the ground using his thumb and forefinger.

Standing, he turned back to his Professor with a grim expression, the man's eyes immediately went to it and Harry could feel his entire aura change. _Turn it thrice in hand,_ he recited, tempted but for the first time, scared.

"Harry…" Severus said again, warning this time as the teen closed his eyes and curled his palm about the stone.

"Just one more time." Harry replied, before opening his eyes.

It was a strange scene, Professor Snape was directly in front of him and in the background were his parents, but he didn't smile, instead, he felt something different. It was a sickening feeling, like his anxiety was kicking in once again, and he swallowed a lump when he realized he'd messed up. His Professor had a good track record of being right, and this was one of those times. But why did it feel so different?

"Hello again, son." James said, and instead of the reassuring presence, Harry felt guilt, looking instead to his Head of House.

" _You didn't."_ Severus said softly in disappointment and Harry's expression showed he was about to burst into tears.

"Severus?" His mothers voice called in surprise and partly awe, but the man wouldn't have been able to hear.

Looking at his Professor warily, he decided to test the limits of control, "She said your name."

Severus closed his eyes, the distance between his own world and reality were crashing together. Was she upset or angry? Had she said anything else? He was disappointed in Harry, but simultaneously, he could understand why he did it, because he had never known his parents whilst his peers have a lovely life with theirs. It should have been obvious that the teen trusted him to be around when he saw his parents, but he couldn't help feel the old bitter sensations rising up the back of his neck as the hairs stood in warning.

"I would like to speak to him." Lily said once more, and Harry nodded in her direction.

"She wants to speak to you." Harry relayed, and heard the hitching of breath from the man, "She seems sincere."

Turning around, there was no one else there, but in his haste to face his childhood friend, he forgot that he was unable to see her. Just then, he felt a hand in the middle of his back, Harry's to be precise and suddenly, standing in front of him was the lost platonic love of his life and her bastard bully of a husband. He wanted to sneer at James, but his entire attention was now on Lily, and she hadn't changed one bit; still beautiful, even for a figment of imagination.

" _Lily…_ " Apparently, he was only capable of one word sentences.

Smiling fondly, she smiled, "You haven't changed a bit."

"Nor have you."

Harry felt strange between caught between this tender moment with the current love interest and his mother, and he was reminded that once upon a time everyone was so convinced that the man had been in love with her. Certainly, seeing this now, he could understand why people thought it, and unbeknownst to both he and his father, they were mirroring the same skeptical expression.

"You're both alive and looking well. The war was won?" She went on to ask.

Severus reached around and took Harry's hand off his back, preferring to hold onto it as the proximity of their bodies and his robes covered it well. It wasn't that he was afraid Harry would suddenly run away, it was more of a comfort for him and remind them that this was supposed to be closure for the teen, not him.

"Yes, Harry did well."

"So did you." Harry added, looking up at the man, who briefly looked away from his mother but there was no smile.

"The two of you seem close. How lovely." James used the silence to speak what he truly thought and immediately tensions grew.

"I can see you have not changed, Potter."

"Well, the war certainly didn't change _you_ , Snivellus."

"James, cut it out." Lily snapped, "Forgive us for not knowing what has been going on. We used to speak with Albus regularly, he would tell us all the wonderful things you achieved, Harry. It always made me proud to hear about your accomplishments, defying the bounds of possibility."

"He _told_ you all of that?"

"Of course, sweetheart. That's why he left you the stone, he told us what had to happen, knowing there would be no one else when it came to the most important part." Lily smiled.

"You mean, he would use this to see you and then – " He cut himself off when he felt the gentle squeeze of his hand, " _I'm starting to dislike Dumbledore even more now_." Harry whispered, leaning heavily towards Severus.

" _I am inclined to wholeheartedly agree with you_." Severus replied, still not able to fathom that he was standing in front of Lily who then asked how they were.

"Well, I guess we can give you a run down of what's been happening." Harry replied with a new sudden confidence laced with sarcasm, which Severus frowned at, "We won the war, then I went into a severe state of depression. I didn't want to come back to Hogwarts and finish my education, but after some persuading by my friends and therapist, I did. I have night terrors and flash backs regularly, I suffer from anxiety, and let's not forget that day I tried to kill myself. Oh, I've forgotten the best bits," Harry laughed darkly, and Severus thought the teen might actually be going mad.

"Professor McGonagall is now Headmistress, and she resorted the school. So – and dad you're going to love this – I'm in Slytherin; my new best friend is Lucius Malfoy's son – who, by the way is in Azkaban, and I learnt to become an Animagi, I'm a wolf. Did I miss anything out?" Harry tilted his head and looked to his Professor.

"That about covers it." Severus said softly, his face pinching in preparation for the outrage.

There were a few seconds of pure silence, where Severus was sure hell had frozen over and the world stopped rotating. James and Lily were simply staring at their son like they had never seen him before in their life, and with a brief look down at Harry, he was looking back at them in the same spaced out expression. It could have been hereditary but the giveaway was the tightness growing on his hand where Harry was clearly trying to restrain himself.

"I bet you love that, Snape. A Potter in Slytherin."

"James, stop it." They bickered, "What happened to burying the hatchet?"

"I would believe that when I saw it." Severus couldn't help himself, it was out of his mouth before he could stop.

"Well, you would have." Lily said with more ferocity than she'd intended, "Eventually. But our time was cut short."

"He doesn't deserve to know this now, Lily."

"Know what?" Severus felt his heart hammering away in his chest, and was not aware that Harry's was doing the same.

"It seems strange to bring it up now, but I know there was a lot of pain you felt over how this all played out. We were going to contact you after Albus had sworn you had walked away from the Deatheaters, and once the main drama had died away. You've always been my closest friend, just a shame it took our death for you to finally realize the mistakes you made. But we were going to give you a chance, and when the opportunity arose, I thought it was time you came back into our lives."

Severus listened, but he wasn't sure what was about to be said, he was going to be given a second chance? After all the pain he'd put Lily through, embarrassing her and choosing evil over good, throwing back that kindness she'd so willingly offered. Guilt ripped through him and a knot formed in his stomach. Harry was huddling closer to the man, and the hand with the stone clamped tightly inside, he brought it up to rest it up his Professor's arm, almost hugging it.

"We were going to ask you to be a Godfather."

Like a cold bucket of ice water, both Harry and Severus shuddered at the thought. Harry's godfather? She had to be joking… That would have made this relationship far more forbidden than what it was, almost incestuous. Again, silence tore through the forest for a second time, but instead of Severus replying like he had just been going to, Harry's voice echoed in the empty forest.

"What?!"

Lily smiled fondly and shook her head, "No, not yours, sweetheart." Then she placed her hands along her stomach, looking shyly back at the two living Wizards, "We were going to give you a brother or sister, Harry."

This was nothing more than the work of fate, Severus was sure of it now. He didn't usually believe all this rubbish, but how could it have been, that if the war had not have happened, this ravenous teenager that was almost clinging onto his arm would have been a part of his life regardless.

" _What?_ " Harry's tone was less alarmed this time, but also disbelieving.

"I never truly believed you were a bad person, Severus. Just one that needed some love, and we thought this might bring us back together." Lily explained.

"I… I would not have accepted." Severus finally spoke, and Lily frowned, asking why, "Because I am not a kind person, that much still has not changed."

"Told you." James sung, but Lily glared at him.

Harry didn't believe that, and he suspected it was a rouse to get them out of this situation. However, it seemed for naught, because in the next breath, the Witch was commenting on how close Harry was clinging to Severus's arm and stating that no one had ever gotten that close to him before. Severus tried to point out that things were different, but when she asked why they were, both living Wizards went quiet.

" _I'm not sure this was such a good idea."_ Harry whispered, looking at his feet.

" _Regardless, it was_ your _idea."_

"What are the two of you whispering about? You haven't answered my question." Lily commented, floating closer to them, and that's when she noticed they were holding hands.

"I think it is time we went." Severus announced, shifting slightly so his robes were covering their hands better from having been jostled.

"It was good to see you, Severus." Lily said, giving him a smile and then looking at her son, "Look after him, sweetheart."

That was when Harry let go of the stone for a second time, frightened and feeling very strange indeed.

 **. . .**

 _ **I'm not done yet… *smirks***_


	61. Chapter 61

**.**

 _ **I'm glad you seemed to enjoy the portrayal of Lily, I was a little nervous about it but thank you for the comments.**_

 **. . .**

Harry and Severus sat on the couch, the fire roaring in front of them and a mug each of something strong and warm. The walk back to school had been tense, but not between each other, and once they had gotten back Harry held out the snitch that housed the stone for the older Wizard to take. Whilst his Professor had been confused at first, Harry simply shook his head and told him it needed to be put somewhere safe. That's why there was now a small locked box on Severus's personal desk, complete with a warded locking charm, as well as another firm and unbreakable charm that would give the intruder a nasty shock if it were to be opened. For good measure, a silencing charm was also placed onto the box so flapping and bumping couldn't be heard.

"Sibling." Harry commented in the silence.

"Godfather." Severus numbly added.

"You'd have made a great godfather."

"I already am one."

"Imagine family dinners." Harry shuddered.

"Being called Uncle Severus in front of your father and Black." Severus wasn't much better off, but then a bubble of laughter popped through Harry's stupor and filled the room, "I do not see how any of this is funny."

"How ridiculous does it all sound?" The teen kept laughing, thoroughly enjoying the bizarre situation.

"Completely irrational."

Severus was about to break a smile too, when the laughter stopped and he dragged his eyes away from the fire just in time to catch a tear rolling down his Slytherin's cheek. This was not from laughter, he could see the pain in his green eyes and sighed, putting their mugs down and leaning back against the couch, wrapping an arm around Harry's shoulders.

"Sir… I need to say something…"

Severus hummed and pressed his lips to Harry's dark hair, "I am listening."

"Sometimes, it's hard to separate the feelings that I _should_ be having from the ones I truly do." Frowning, and looking across the room, Severus remained quiet when Harry started to continue, "I know that it's sad my parents died, but I can't help be thankful I didn't grow up with my father as a role model. Is that wrong?"

"Harry, you have never known your parents, you have spoken to them, what, twice now? And seeing them in the Mirror of Erised does not count. It would be natural to harbor differing emotions when, from my understanding, you have never had a proper family. You should not put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way, your emotions are your own and nobody has the right to tell you it should be otherwise."

"Thanks." Harry sniffed, turning his body so he could drape his legs of his Professors.

"I feel much the same in regards to my Grandparents, they were never in my life and my mother never spoke of them. That is what makes their sudden appearance in my life strange, I do not owe them anything, they have not provided for me. As for my father, some might say that I was lucky to have one, that some children much like yourself do not get to see theirs."

"I'm not sure anyone would want a father that hurt them."

"And I suspect that would be due to your own experiences with those unloving relatives."

"Maybe." The younger Wizard nodded, "What a pair we make."

Severus huffed, "Pain and fate have a humorous way of bringing people together."

Harry leaned back so he could look the man in the eye, feeling his heart swelling with an idea but not willing to voice it just yet. They were having a deep moment, a tense afternoon, and he was already exhausted as it was before adding to burdens. Instead, he looked at the time and saw it was still mid afternoon, but he could really have done with a sleep. His eyes were sore and head pounded, all with the revelations of various aspects to his life that would never happen.

"I know it's early, but I could really do with some sleep. Can we go to bed for a little bit." Harry bit his lip, hoping the man would come with him.

"Are you asking to have a nap?"

Smiling tiredly, Harry nodded, "That's exactly what I'm _saying_ , not asking, and it would be really nice if you joined me."

Severus leaned forward and gave Harry a kiss so he could think about this for a moment. The last time he'd had a nap during the day was… Far too long to recall, and that didn't count the days after a Death Eater meeting. Perhaps it would be nice, who was he to kid anyway, he was extremely tired and it was the holidays after all. His body responded in a pleasant way as he let his lips dance across his Slytherin's, pressing gently but firm enough that it showed his passion for the younger Wizard.

"Why not. I suppose we could both do with the rest."

Harry beamed, tiredly standing but found renewed energy when he reached out and took the mans hand to hoist him up. He could think of nothing better than hunkering down under the safety of blankets and his Professor's strong arms, holding him close. It didn't even matter if he'd felt the man climbing into bed behind him, he didn't know if he _had_ anyway, as the moment his head touched the pillow he was out for the count.

 **. . .**

Hermione and Draco were in the library studying, well, the Witch was reading the article on Harry and huffing at various intervals. It was a load of rubbish of course, but she couldn't help but wonder why he was suddenly so keen on doing this, especially when it was bound to end up in the papers.

"Have you heard from him?" Draco asked, looking up from his work.

"No, we should probably write and see if everything is okay. Do you think he'll be okay? You live with him now, so you'd know his habits better."

Draco thought for a moment, wincing, "It'll be a lonely time in the dormitory, but he should be all right. Besides, Professor Snape will be there."

Hermione hummed absently, pursing her lips at the suggestion.

"What's wrong with that?" He asked, giving her his full attention by putting his quill down.

"I'm sure it's nothing, but, Harry hasn't had it easy with his family or relatives. I saw it happen with Sirius and Professor Lupin; so, because he's not had the caring and close attachment of strong role models, he's a very impressionable person. I've said it to Harry myself, and I'm going to say it again to you, Professor Snape may have been really helpful with his mind not being where it should but we'll be graduating at the end of the year."

"You're concerned he's getting too close to Professor Snape?" Draco narrowed his eyes in thought.

"Yes, and I'm worried it's going to hurt Harry more in the end when it comes time to leave and they split company. I'll always be there for Harry, no matter what, through thick and thin, but I won't stand idly by and let him hurt himself more when he could be living his life finally."

"Professor Snape has changed a lot this year." The blonde added.

"He has, for the better I might add, but he's not a good fit for Harry to be constantly hanging off. I can tell you right now, come graduation, there's going to be tears." Marking the conversation concluded for now, Hermione put the paper aside and asked what Dark Magic books were available that she could continue her research on.

Directing her to the back of the library, which was looking a little more full since Christmas, he pulled over a piece of parchment to pen a letter to his friend. Hermione seemed a little stern on the whole friendship with a teacher aspect, but that could have been his own bias knowing that said teacher was also his godfather.

"Draco, dear?"

"Mother." He said, standing and rounding the table.

"Where is Miss. Granger?"

"Over here." Hermione called, then appeared from around a corner with three large tombs in her hands.

"Wonderful, I have a dinner tomorrow evening and thought the two of you might like to come along. It is a relaxed event with some old work contacts, with the two of you getting into Ministry and business avenues, there will be plenty of opportunities to make some new connections."

Hermione was a little surprised, but hid the expression, instead nodding and showing the older Witch that she would be keen to go. Draco was a little more hesitant, he wasn't necessarily getting into business, but he knew this meant a lot to his mother and the conversation he'd had with Professor Snape reared it's ugly head. Knowing he couldn't really deny the offer, he quickly looked to confirmation from Hermione before accepting.

"I think this calls for a ladies day out, Hermione. How do you fancy a bit of shopping tomorrow morning to find you something to wear?"

"The offer is tempting, Mrs. Malfoy but – "

"Uh-uh," She tsked, "No buts; we will go to the best tailors in _En Diagonale_ for the morning, have tea and then the afternoon will be for you to get ready. Draco, I'm sure you have a suit to wear, make sure to choose navy or burgundy when picking one out."

"Of course, mother."

Narcissa looked very pleased with herself, and stepped up to Hermione, running an immaculate hand across her cheek before disappearing out of the library. She opened her mouth a couple of times to try and ask what had just occurred, but judging by the equally surprised expression from her new partner, she'd say he wasn't much better off.

"I've never been shunted aside before like that." He commented, and the Ravenclaw quickly put the books down and went to stand in front of him.

"Does it upset you?" She asked worriedly.

"I'm not sure. I've never been in this situation, she's taking a lot of care in making sure you feel welcome, which is good, don't get me wrong… Just strange."

"Well, I'll be sure to fill you in on everything once we get back. Come on, let's finish this up and maybe we can take a walk around the grounds?"

It wasn't hot yet, but the weather was certainly warmer than when it had been snowing over Christmas. Draco wondered if he should get the brooms out so they could fly to the beach and totally be away from everyone, but then he remembered her comment about not liking to fly, so he dismissed it and agreed to the grounds. There were some nice little alcoves regardless, and he knew his girlfriend would appreciate the privacy.

 **. . .**

Severus was half on top of Harry, watching him rest and thinking about what an utterly ridiculous forty eight hours it had been for them both. He would happily admit that things could calm down for now as he didn't particularly think he could handle any more upsets or demons appearing, he'd had enough to last him the rest of the year, two if he was lucky. Propping his head up, he lazily let his leg slip between Harry's knees, bringing his free hand up and brushing the too long bangs out of his closed eyes.

The teen shifted, breathing deeply and sighing. Severus watched his lips part gently and was soon fondly gazing at his Slytherin, resisting the urge to kiss him. It hadn't just been a rough day for him, Harry had suffered more, and that desire to keep him out of harms way was proving too strong to ignore. For the first time in his life, he looked upon someone he considered to be a precious gem, one that needed nurturing and care.

A soft whimper came from the body beneath him, and Harry's face contorted, frowning and lightly grumbling before he started to come around from his slumber. Severus's hand was resting over the steadily beating heart of his student, which quickened as he woke. Harry shifted under his body, legs widening which meant his knee slid further up the inside of the younger Wizard thigh slightly.

"Hi." Harry said in a sigh, and Severus watched the teen's eyes open slowly.

"Hello, Harry."

His student smiled at the roughness in his voice, and was readjusting himself, lifting and twisting his body, the lower half of both rubbing and slipping into more comfortable positions. Harry was on his back, and as he made out the figure of his Professor, he noted that with one gentle pull, the man could very well be on top of him completely.

"Does this wounded little wolf get a kiss?" Harry smirked, running his tongue between his teeth, touching the edge of his bottom lip.

"After all that has happened, and the first thing you ask for is that?" Severus asked, but as he spoke, he'd leaned towards the teen.

"Can we pretend none of it happened for at least five minutes?" Harry groaned, pushing on his Professor's chest instead of meeting the kiss.

"I would ask to what purpose, delaying the inevitable might be worse long term." Severus replied, wishing he'd kept his mouth shut.

"Wonderful, my life, one screw up after the next." He'd wished he had stayed asleep, his nightmares were better than the false hope he'd woken up with, "How are _you_ feeling?"

Severus moved his hand to cup his students face, turning it so they were looking at each other in the dimly lit bedroom. He was comfortable, relaxed even though their world had been rocked, and oddly at peace. Ignoring the pressure on his chest, he went in for the kiss he had been so keen on taking and found it went uncontested when he ghosted his lips over Harry's. The immediate reaction was a happy sigh and his Slytherin relaxing under his body.

"About the same." Severus finally replied, surprised to feel a hand running up the front of his chest and fingers dancing along his collarbone, "I am worried about you however; my primary concern."

"Well, I'm worried about you." Harry countered, pushing his fingers inside the white shirt his Professor wore under those customary black robes, and feeling the sparse hairs prickling against his nails.

The touch was soft and tickled Severus's chest, but he was more focused on the green eyes looking at him in hope, for what, he didn't know but it created a blooming sensation in his chest that had him pressing down for another kiss. It appeared that Harry's body was opening up to him, and he pushed himself up, spreading along the smaller frame fully and his knee spreading the relaxed legs more so he could almost lay flat between them.

Harry's hands were twisting up between them, wrapping around the side of his neck and fingers twisting in his black hair, pulling to ensure they didn't break away. The blanket covering them started to shift away and Severus could feel the cool air against the outside of his thigh. Wishing they were under the covers, he conceded that where he thought this was going wouldn't get very far.

When they broke for air, Harry gasped and angled his head slightly off center as he pulled down on black hair, pushing Severus's face into the juncture of his neck. This followed with a moan as their bodies pressed together gently, creating pleasant currents to run through Severus's body. Harry was correct, they didn't need to talk about what was happening so soon after waking, they could slowly bring reality in once extracting themselves from the bedroom.

Distantly, he wondered if that could be a rule to enforce, make the bedroom a peaceful place where they left the troubles at the door. He inhaled the natural scent from his students neck as he committed himself to making it happen later and instead pulled his attention to the writhing form beneath him. His hands sought out the warmth from beneath his student's top, thumbs running up defined abdominal muscles then down to a boney hip.

Daring himself to slip under the band of the teen's jeans, deft fingers unfastened the button and zip quickly and pushed them down. He would only go as far at his student allowed, but considering the grip on the roots of his hair hadn't loosened, the actions didn't stop and delicately pulled away the elastic of Harry's briefs. The corresponding action was hands finally easing their grip on his head and shifting down hastily, slipping under his arms and between their chests.

Those same rushed palms slipped under his loose white shirt and skimmed up his back. Being openly embraced, Severus started to kiss and nip gently against the smooth skin along his Slytherin's neck, nipping in turn when he felt nails dragging across his shoulder blades. The cool air of the room was sticking to his back as the shirt rode up, but he suddenly didn't care about the chill, feeling those warm hands kneading into his back, alternating from the sharp nails.

" _Oh, Harry_." Severus breathed, whispering against his neck before pulling up to look down upon the younger Wizard.

Parted lips were pink from being bitten down on between kisses and he could just make out the flushed cheeks, owning the idea that he would look much the same if given the proper lighting. Severus experimented by dipping his fingers under the band of Harry's underpants and could feel his center hardening under the touch, surprised to find that it hadn't already been.

"Sir, I want to forget." Harry's voice broke through the silence, and immediately the man withdrew his hand from temptation and settled it high on the teen's hip, "Why did you move?"

"Forget what, Harry?" Ignoring the question, "That anything ever happened or do you want a reprieve?" Severus actually stopped what he was doing completely and understood when the warmth along his back shifted to his sides and eventually retracted from his skin, instead resting between their chests.

"A distraction. I don't want to think, just feel…" Harry couldn't help it, tears were pricking at his eyes and he tried to hide his face so the older Wizard wouldn't see it.

"Temporary reprieve then."

Harry nodded and started fiddling with the front of his Professor's shirt, "I like it when we do this, I can focus only on you and what we're doing, nothing else."

"I see."

Severus considered what was being said, he too had thought this once before when he was with Harry, and he would admit it had been for selfish reasons. The younger Wizard was hurting, completely understandable, and Severus had said in the beginning that they could free his mind. Could he really complain if this was what it boiled down to? What could be so wrong about them both finding release by exploring each other together?

"Can we keep going?" Harry asked, pouting gently.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"You make me happy, sir. Today has been rough, my parents didn't provide anything comforting and beyond Hogwarts, it's a lonely world. Even if it's just for right now… I want to forget everything outside of here and just be with you."

The words were spoken and Severus absorbed them the best he could, _just be with you_ , something so simple and yet packed a punch of emotions. To show the teen that it meant something, he leaned down and captured those pink lips in a hard kiss, sliding back across his Slytherin and pushing him into the mattress. Harry's hands that had once been on his back, returned and pulled him close so their chests were mashed together, proving that this was indeed what was desired.

As they kissed, and hands roamed, Severus began to think of ways he might be able to unhinge the teen, to let his mind completely shut off from everything going on outside the walls of his quarters. He started with the tee shirt, pushing it up as his hands skimmed along the younger Wizards sides, stopping only when it would go no further and gathered around his neck.

He could remember what the body looked like, having seen it a couple of times already and couldn't help running his finger tips along the hairless pecks. Pushing himself down slightly, Severus made a trail with his lips, pressing them along Harry's neck, collarbone, sternum and rubbing a thumb over a pert nipple. Hearing the sigh from above, he flicked the nub once more and felt wriggling hips shift upwards gently, almost unnoticeably.

Trying again, he figured out it was a sensitive spot, and therefore continued to tease it, building the writhing from beneath his thigh and listening to deeper breaths. A mewl, singular, had him almost groaning audibly and to silence himself he took the other nipple between his teeth, pinching it. The result was a gasp and thrusting from the waist, so he continued and some time later, switched the nubs for torture.

Severus couldn't deny, the reactions and his own explorations had caused quite a hard problem, and he rutted downwards, growling into Harry's chest when the friction sent pleasurable waves through his body. When he felt one of the hands, that had probably left marks, on his back pull away and slide between them, he quickly caught it and brought it up, pinning it to the mattress.

"Please…" Harry whined, his body tensing and twisting as the hard erection in his trousers pressed almost painfully into the solid thigh that held him down.

Pulling his head up to look at his student, he smirked and shifted further down. Changing angles, he slid Harry's pinned hand to up by his head, and with the other hand, skated it down across his stomach, feeling the soft hairs that lead beneath the trouser line. He wasted no time in pulling back the cotton briefs, and he could only imagine the relief his Slytherin felt when his hardened center sprung from its confines and stood upright in the cooler room.

Tearing his gaze away from the flushed cheeks of his student, he finally, for the first time, caught a glimpse of the hardness he'd been feeling a few times now. This, above all else, seemed most forbidden. Yes, he had felt it, touched it as he played, but never seen in the light, dim as it may be. His own body stirred and warmed, groin twitching in want and need to explore what Harry had to offer.

Remembering the first day of the school break, Severus eyed it carefully, taking his free hand, he took the solid length and gave a couple of steady strokes. That alone seemed to be ecstasy to the teen, so he pulled harder and nipped at the skin under Harry's rib cage. He knew this was the right course when the free hand that had been still on his back shifted and fingers ran through his hair, clearly something to hold on to as Harry's body arched and wrestled with the desire to move when he couldn't.

Considering himself daring, Severus shifted further down once more, feeling the heat emanating from Harry's erection and could now feel the wetness from the leaking head. He hesitated, but continued to run his palm up the length. Shaking himself from the unease of not knowing what he was doing, Severus decided that if Harry could do it, so could he, and took all of it into his mouth.

With a gasp and an unadulterated whine of pleasure, Harry thrust upwards into the heat and smoothness of his Professor's mouth. It came as such a shock to his body, that he tensed and felt that coil almost snapping into pieces, however he managed to hold it back and felt his fingernails cutting into the flesh of his palm as his hand remained pinned. There was heat, it was everywhere, from the room to his skin, and finally from the treat of his Professor's mouth.

Whimpering, he could think of nothing other than the sensations of hands, lips and tongue sliding up and down his core. He never wanted it to end, but fortunately, or rather unfortunately, the release came quicker than he'd anticipated all thanks to a strategically placed palm, massaging a spot behind his sack. With a cry and tensing of limbs and abdominals, the result was lapped up and left him clean by the time he was done.

Shuddering with pleasure, his chest heaved and his skin tingled in happiness. He was overwhelmed and overjoyed, the emotions becoming a little too much for him, that he finally let it all out. The tears and the pain in his chest that had been growing for a couple of days, and the resistance on holding it back finally got the better of him.

Severus was taken back at first, but he recognized what was happening and covered them both with the blanket that had slipped away immediately, taking Harry into his arms and holding him tightly. He had no time to process his own thoughts on what had just occurred, and instead ignored the lingering taste on his tongue for now, concerned that he may have just pushed his student a little too far.

"That's it, let them out." Severus soothed, hearing the sobs getting louder and the thin body in his arms tensing from the severity of his cries.

"It's not fair." Harry said.

Well, Severus thought that's what he'd said, it was a little hard to make the voice out between gut wrenching heaves on the teen's chest. He could feel the tears soaking into his white shirt, leaving a cold patch when they shift and his Slytherin was burying himself further. They could have done with being under the covers properly for this, and the older Wizard decided they wouldn't be leaving his rooms this evening for any reason.

Whilst Severus's body was still hard with need, he was able to cast his own desires aside and pulled away from his student for a moment. The fear in those green eyes that glanced him was palpable and he really wished he hadn't moved, but at the same time he wanted them both to be more comfortable. He undressed Harry, leaving him in only socks and underwear, before pulling hard on the covers the teen lay on and made sure he was properly in the bed.

Confusion caused a break in the crying, but Severus made sure he was swift in removing his trousers and getting under the sheets also. The distraction had completely stopped the tears for now, and Severus was holding Harry safely, making sure little as possible was above the warm layers that covered them. It was clear that the younger Wizard had found his release, and this information was relieving for the Slytherin Head.

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for, but I must ask if you are feeling better now that you've let some of the pressure out. I am not a fool to understand the rest that has been pushed aside."

Harry shifted and made sure to pointedly look at his Professor with an appreciative glance, "How did I get so lucky to find someone who understands me?"

The statement, rather than question, hit Severus hard and he felt his own emotions bubbling to the surface. Glad that the dim lighting would have hidden his glassy eyes as he fought down his pain, he just made sure to hold his student until they could speak properly. He was itching to present the pendant to his student, he never wanted the teen to ever feel under prepared or vulnerable to anyone, regardless of whether he was at school or outside of it but refrained. Now was not the time to get too sentimental and push the teen away.

 **. . .**

Hermione hadn't ever been to a dinner party where she was a minority in blood status, but she couldn't argue that it wasn't pleasant. She kept to Draco for the most part; obviously she didn't know many people there and those who she did know, were not people she thought to be conversing with. Understanding the war had many people sitting on fences, she could immediately see two who she believed branded a Dark Mark.

Champagne was flowing freely, and in the distance she could see Mrs. Malfoy speaking with a group of ladies who looked absolutely elegant in their cocktail dresses. Draco too looked lovely, and his tie happened to match the dress that had been hand picked for her. It was a beautiful deep burgundy red, which was complimented with a smattering of diamonds along the neck and the odd detailing through the bottom hemming.

"So, how do you usually navigate these things?" Hermione said quietly, smiling politely as an older couple passed them by.

"With a stolen bottle of champagne and an empty room with the rest of the young ones." Draco replied, also politely acknowledging someone, "We make our way around the room, scoping the important ones, then disappear."

"This sounds awfully thought out." She smirked, but eyes betraying the nerves.

"Trust me, this is how the purebloods our age get through the torturous parties our families throw us. I'm just glad there aren't others I know here, it might get awkward." He rushed out, holding his elbow out for Hermione to take and led them through the room.

After a round of speaking to only two people, who really didn't have any connections to make whatsoever, Draco brought them back where his mother was and she excused herself from the group of ladies. She was about to say something, judging by the opening of her mouth, but her eyes averted to something just to the side of Hermione's head and she gasped instead.

"My word." She breathed, and the two students glanced behind them, seeing a much older couple walking down the stairs, making their late entrance, "Well, I never."

Draco turned back to his mother, "Are they important, mother? Should I introduce myself?"

Shaking her head, she stood to the side of her son, who was still holding on to Hermione. He wondered what had gotten his mother so speechless, usually a sure thing with what to say, her face showed surprise and if he was correct, a little hesitance.

"Mother?" He prompted, but she simply shook her head once more.

"No, Draco darling, those are two people you _shouldn't_ approach. Not yet." At this, she ran her hand from his shoulder and down his back, moving to stand in front of them both, almost like she didn't want them to be seen.

A loud knocking came from the top of the stairs, and the herald cleared his throat, speaking clearly to address the room, "Arriving from abroad, Lord and Lady Prince."

" _Do you know who they are?"_ Hermione whispered, seeing the rest of the room enraptured by the arrival of the two elderly individuals.

" _I've never seen them in my life._ " He whispered back, but his mother shot them both a wary glance, before shooing them away, "Well, that concludes our networking for the evening, shall we?" He smirked, walking past an ice bucket and swiping the bottle from within it.

Trying to keep up with his fast pace, Hermione held onto his hand tightly and noticed how he nodded to another couple of younger Wizards before they disappeared around a corner. Smiling knowingly at his girlfriend, they ended up in another part of the manor completely, but the décor continued through. Whoever this family really were, they had a lot of money and as she marveled at the detailing around a particular window frame, he informed her it was gold.

"This is quite overwhelming." She stated, keeping a low voice as they were joined by others.

"You get used to it, but when we graduate, this kind of behavior won't fly." He replied, then saluted a clear friend.

"A pity Viktor wasn't here, Draco. I bet your friend there would have appreciated that fine specimen."

Draco shook his head with amusement, and held up their intertwined hands, "Royce, this is my girlfriend, Hermione Granger."

" _Girlfriend?_ Merlin, Draco, what happened to Victoria?" The boisterous boy asked, and Draco proudly moved to put his arm around Hermione's waist as she looked at him cautiously.

"Hermione captured my heart, not another pureblood snob. I won't be marrying because I have to, it'll be because I want to."

"Radical." Royce smirked, and filled out their flutes with champagne, "Granger, I haven't heard that name in the circle before, foreign?"

"No, she's new to the circle." Draco answered, and Hermione shared a look with him, nodding with a reassuring smile that it was okay, "Hermione goes to Hogwarts with me, we've known each other for years."

"Hogwarts, huh? How did you twist Narcissa's arm?" Royce was pulling out a long box from within his blazer breast pocket and a lighter.

"No twisting."

"What's this world coming to? How do you think your father will take the news that his bloodline is going to be – "

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you." Draco snapped, protectively holding onto his girlfriend.

"I see. Cigar?"

Hermione wondered if this was how the rich pureblood kids acted with one another, it was clear that Draco and this other character didn't get along and yet they were moderately civil to each other. She supposed it wasn't too surprising but it was making things a little tense and she almost preferred to be back out with the rest of the party. At least there, the adults didn't act like they wanted to fight each other, even though internally they very might as well have.

"We don't smoke." Draco answered for them both, before looking at Hermione with sympathy.

Just then the doors opened and another three teenagers stepped into the room, one girl and two males. She felt judged, almost, but the Witch was pleasant enough and kept going on about the style of Hermione's dress. Luckily, Draco didn't stray far from her and they suffered through the rest of the night together, huddled on a couch and stealing the odd delicate touch, whether it was on the knee, back or shoulder.

 **. . .**


	62. Chapter 62

**.**

 **#Tlcatlady:**

 _ **Yes, I did :D I can't wait to delve into this wee nugget of story.**_

 **#mylittlehazmat:**

 _ **Well… I read and re-read your comment and I think I've understood what you were trying to say. You made a good point about plot whirlwind, so I'll think about that for the upcoming chapters.**_

 _ **Hope you're feeling a little better now :)**_

 **#phoenix-rob:**

 _ **Yes they are ;) But I can't confirm or deny who will contact who…**_

 **#Onyx:**

 _ **Babe! Where have you beeeeeeen!?**_

 **. . .**

Understandably, things were a slow process in the morning and Harry moped around, getting dressed whilst his Professor was out in the main living area. Sighing, he sat on the edge of the bed and rested both hands in his lap, looking down at them and playing with his nail. Everything seemed to be spinning out of control once more, the only difference of course was that he had Professor Snape by his side, and he wholeheartedly believed that it was this support that was keeping him in check.

That didn't mean he was by any means less anxious about what was happening, both to just him and between the two of them. Their relationship might have been adding to all of the confusion he was feeling, it was just a niggling emotion in the back of his mind, but it played a minor role in how things were panning out. Perhaps he needed some space to think things through, he wasn't even supposed to be staying so often in the man's bed, they had come to that agreement at the start of break.

"Harry?"

Hearing his name, he glanced over his shoulder and saw the man hovering in the doorway, a weird soft of expression on his face as he then walked into the room and took a seat next to him.

"You know how I said I'd be with you?" Harry started, and Severus felt as though his heart was about to be sliced in half, "I meant that, and I don't want it to change… So, when I say that maybe some space would be nice right now… It's not for long."

Severus regarded his student, feeling the knife twisting and making his unease unpleasant. However, rationally he knew exactly what the teen was talking about and he wasn't going to deny the teens needs at this time. The whole situation was stressful for both of them, and he silently admitted that the teen was grounding him for the most part, because he had his own trials that needed attention.

"I just need some time to think about what's happening."

"That is fine." Severus replied, his tone strong but understanding.

"It is?" Harry frowned, confused.

"What part should I not be supportive of? Harry, listen to me," At this Severus stood and awkwardly knelt between Harry's legs, "You are in pain, there would be no sense in suffocating you in here. As I understand it, there have not been many who have taken you in for comfort and support, which I assumed is something that you are struggling with also."

Harry hadn't actually thought of it like that.

"Take some time to be alone if that is what you need, just remember that I am here should you need anything." Severus finished, but then took hold of Harry's hands, and their eyes met, "And I do mean, _anything_. Please, if you need to see me, I will not turn you away. If it all gets too much, you come back here, and we do not have to talk. Do you understand that?"

Surprisingly, it was a load off for Harry and he nodded, watching with a small smile as the man took his time to stand once more and was willingly pulled up for a hug. He then felt ready to face the day, not that his mind was still a jumbled mess with revelations and disappointment, and both went up for breakfast. Of course, because he was by himself, he felt vulnerable and exposed, so his seating arrangement included being right in front of the staff table.

Sighing into his bowl of cereal, he propped his head up so he didn't have to look at anyone until the flapping of wings caught his attention an Hermione's owl landed in front of him. He smiled and petted its head before taking the letter it had carried. Taking a wheat loop from his bowl, a dry one, he passed it over and the owl hooted before taking off again. It was nice to know his friends still cared about him even though he felt they would be very much wrapped up in their own little world at the manor. Still, he didn't want to be bitter about it and quickly read the note from his friend.

Severus too had a letter, this one from Narcissa, and he opened it reluctantly due to the stark fact his godson was entertaining a Witch at the manor over break. However, what he didn't expect to read was that his grandparents had been at the dinner she had attended with the two teens and he sighed deeply, closing his eyes and reigning in the emotions that swirled.

"Everything all right, Severus?" Minerva asked, probably having felt rather than seen his change in mood.

"Some things, Minerva, are better buried." He replied, then glanced at Harry for a moment before adding more coffee to his cup.

"Oh dear, anything I can help with?"

Shaking his head, he reread the letter and sat back in his chair, crossing his legs and taking a moment to look at the ceiling. Harry had asked why he wanted nothing to do with his family, but Severus liked to believe there was a bias in there, in that the Slytherin hadn't known his wider family aside from his parents, and was feeling his own remorse for this fact.

If Severus had of wanted, he could easily seek out the older couple but he couldn't see any positive outcomes for doing so. What was he supposed to say when they asked what his life consisted of, and if he had a partner, or Merlin forbid, his future plans. Certainly by Wizarding standards, at the age of thirty nine, he really did have a lot of life left in him, considering the death rate was close to a century and a quarter. Narcissa painted them as lovely people and well esteemed in the community, but it left a bitter taste in his mouth, suspicious of their sudden appearance in Britain now.

"I am feeling conflicted, Minerva."

"Oh?" Her surprise was genuine, having buried her inquiry mere moments ago, "How so?"

"Those grandparents I mentioned. It seems they are back in Britain, though their motives are unclear at present."

The Headmistress considered the information for a moment, not believing anything sinister was afoot, "Could it possibly be, that they may reach out to you? Would that be so bad?"

Thinking she sounded exactly like Harry in that instance, he let out a deep sigh and shook his head. It was true that his years of being a spy meant any new situation was met with caution, and that in this particular instance he could just be paranoid about their appearance. Did he trust Narcissa in her assessment? Yes, he did, but this also wasn't her family that was being brought to light.

"If there should be a hypothetical situation where I would be required to present myself at their wishes – "

"Within reason, your request would be accepted, Severus." The Elder Witch commented, showing her support through a tight smile, "This is a time for change, who am I to deny you of the opportunity to know your family."

Yes, she _definitely_ sounded like Harry, and the thought about _bloody Gryffindor sentimentality_ , didn't stray far from his mind. Of course, that was as far as he was willing to take the topic and went to leave the hall. Noting Harry had already left, he sighed once more; it wasn't that he was concerned, no absolutely not. What was he kidding, Harry had gotten well and truly under his skin now and there was really no going back. If anyone had of told him this would happen, he was sure his death would have been swift from laughter. Bloody Harry Potter, but he was never really the enemy and right now he was breathing new life into his routine.

Surprised when he walked into his quarters and saw Harry standing with his back to the door, he approached carefully and went to his desk because even though he had hoped to have all the marking done, he still had the second and sixth years tests to complete.

"Sorry, uhm, I just came to get my homework." He heard Harry explain, and glancing up he saw the trepidation in the expression.

"You are not a stranger here, never will be." Severus offered, letting a flitting smile pass his lips before dipping his quill into the ink.

The younger Slytherin nodded and within the next couple of minutes after the door shut there was a pin drop silence that came over his quarters. Looking around, he let it soak in for a moment and then busied himself with the students tests, trying not to think about the fact Harry was not in his immediate surroundings.

As for where Harry went, he first tried the common room for study, grabbing himself a free desk and was able to spread out. There was a dull noise level, just a few people talking in low voices whilst four others studied alongside him. He was working on his Defence project and was sifting through a Dark Arts book from the Restricted section but he couldn't really focus on it, the words were being read but nothing was sticking. He kept thinking back to his trip to the Ministry and how it was connected to Godric's Hollow, then he wondered if it had something to do with his parents house, which soon had him wondering what ever happened to it in terms of ownership. Did he own it, or was it just sitting empty?

Running fingers through his hair, he tugged at them when he felt agitated and packed up his books. This wasn't the time to be idly sitting around and doing homework, he needed to go somewhere and do something physical and decided perhaps a zap around in his broom would do the trick. He packed his things away back in his dormitory and grabbed his broom whilst he was there.

It was a grey day, but at least it wasn't raining and he took off like lightning towards the pitch. The wind felt good against his skin and he could feel his hair pressed against his head. The final game for the year was almost upon them and he tried to focus on running through a few drills and weaving between the towers. Something that didn't belong however, was the sickening twisting of his stomach and the sense that something bad was about to happen.

So, he stopped high above the grounds and looked off towards the mountains, deep in thought. It had been a stupid idea to summon his parents the way he had, there was no preparation and he'd just thought things would kick off from where they left. Instead, he was told that his family would have grown bigger, there would have been more to experience, and the ache that followed had been unexpected. He wanted to believe that a family would be nice, but all he had were snippets from his cousin and the weird relationship he had with the Weasley's.

Growling, he tried to push past it all, he couldn't dwell on his dreams, he had to take what was in front of him and be content that this was his life. So, what did he have in his live that he could hold on to? He had Draco and Hermione, his two closest friends. There was Professor Snape, who, for the most part was the one individual who was able to ground him and make majority of insecurities disappear; the icing on the cake was the fact they were romantically involved… Like last night.

What was happening there anyway? Had he really just told the man he wanted to forget everything? Evidently, but the most surprising part was that he _was_ able to forget for those brief moments in the evening when all he could think about was pleasure. So, what the hell was he doing up here? He should be in the Dungeons right now and spending as much time with his Head of House as possible!

 _No, think rationally, Potter_ , he chastised himself. It was actually nice to let loose and blow off some steam where he enjoyed being the most. In that moment, when his mind cleared, he smiled and hightailed it in a downward spiral, hurtling towards the pitch and pulling out of the dive at the very last minute. He loved the adrenaline that spiked through his body, the way his thighs clenched around the broom as it sat hard beneath him… Merlin, it sounded like sex, or something close to it anyway, he wouldn't actually know.

Blinking away the sudden dazed sight in front of him, he twisted away from the stands he was close to ramming straight into, but clipped his foot holding on the edge of the stands as he tried to maneuver away and cried out as he found the wooden seating coming close. The impact was swift and left him in shock, hitting his head on the corner of a seat and landing spread eagled over two levels. Groaning in immense pain as his forehead went numb before the throbbing started, he stared up at the grey sky, squinting at its brightness. Why were things like this?

Severus had given up focusing on his marking about half an hour ago and he eyed the envelope that had dropped from his grandparents items with unease. Rationally, he believed there was nothing sinister about the letter and odds were it wasn't even for him, but a memoir of some kind from one of the few relatives he knew of. His fingers traced the thin edges when he heard the door opening and a bloodied Slytherin walked in with a vacant expression.

"Bloody hell, Harry." It was out before he had a chance to filter his spoken thought and stood suddenly, making his way over.

Seeing the broomstick, he had a fair idea of what had happened and took it from the teens grasp, propping the broom against the back of his couch and with his other hand, leading the teen through to the laboratory. Once he wet a clean towel and silently worked at wiping the blood away, he realized there was a nasty gash and sighed with resignation. He couldn't wait to hear what had happened, sarcastically thinking it must have been ground breaking information.

"I wasn't concentrating." Was the response, and Severus couldn't say he was all that surprised.

"This will need Madame Pomfrey to heal, you may have a concussion."

"But you always heal me." Harry frowned.

"Not when the head is physically involved. Mentally, sure, however not this. Come, I will escort you." But the man didn't let Harry get up right away, he took a moment to really look into those vulnerable green eyes to try and see something, he wasn't sure what, but when he didn't get it, he stood the teen for them to leave.

Naturally, Poppy was almost beside herself to see his Harry in such a state and demanded to know what happened. Since Severus didn't particularly want her knowing it was a flying accident, he lied and spoke for his Slytherin.

"Mr. Potter has had a trying couple of days which have left him unsettled, would we be surprised if he hasn't just managed to trip and fall down the stairs?" The lie was flawless and he internally celebrated when the Medi-Witch gave him an understanding expression.

Harry on the other hand, half glared at his Professor.

"Well no, Potter, this isn't surprising. Let's get this blood cleaned up – and oh, dear, that is going to be sore." Poppy winced at the split forehead and shook her head, disappearing into her office for a little while.

In her absence, Severus patted his students shoulder before distancing himself and leaning against the edge of the opposite cot, watching closely. Harry definitely seemed in a different dimension by now and he really couldn't get past the idea that this had something to do with the way their break was unfolding. He hadn't seen him this out of it for a while now.

"Right, Potter, there isn't a lot I can do, just a bandage and some pain relief." Poppy commented, sticking down the magically self adhesive white gauze plaster.

"Thank you." Harry said softly, and the Witch looked at him critically.

"Let Professor Snape help you, Potter," The Medi-Witch started with a wince, "Otherwise I'm inclined to keep you here until he seem more coherent."

"I'll keep an eye on him." Severus interjected, rather happy that he had a valid excuse for making sure the teen didn't leave his sight for the afternoon.

They walked down the corridor and Severus found a small courtyard for them, not believing going down into the Dungeons right now was a smart move. Harry had said he wanted space; well he didn't want to bring back the dramas of their week so soon by escorting them downstairs. The teen sighed loudly as they went to the edge of the ledged garden and they both stood resting against the partial wall looking at the forest in the distance.

"Can we talk here?" Harry asked quietly, carefully glancing over his shoulder.

"As long as we do not shout." The older Wizard replied, trying to look past the white patch on his students forehead, "I had a letter this morning from Narcissa. She… met my Grandparents last night at a dinner, and whilst I still feel inclined to exclude you from this information, if we are to truly give this relationship a chance, these things should be spoken about."

Harry didn't really know what to think, he was more curious than anything and hope blossomed in his chest over the fact that his Professor might be considering looking them up. He remained silent for now, and simply looked at the man, waiting for him to continue.

"This is a new area to explore."

"What did she say about them?" Harry couldn't resist asking.

"That they were pleasant and well spoken."

"Oh, she actually spoke to them? Does that feel weird for you?" Harry could not only imagine what that felt like, but _did_ actually feel the strangeness of it when he remembered Professor Dumbledore used to speak with his parents regularly.

Did it feel weird? Well, Severus wouldn't have put it like that, but a little strange perhaps. Regardless, Narcissa had offered to keep an ear and eye out on his grandparents, to her own gain or not, and had relayed the information back to him. As he turned to look at Harry, his green eyes were sparkling in the light from the clouds and had the fleeting thought that he might be able to bring himself to contact the elderly couple. However, it would only be to appease the curiosity of the younger Slytherin, rather than himself.

"I am more concerned about what I will do in regards to contact." He commented, seeing the weird way Harry's face lit up when he said it.

"Well, you know the situation better than I do, but I think you already know how I feel about it." It was a risk, but because they were so close, Harry took his Professor's hand and gave it a squeeze.

Considering the teen for a moment, he nodded resolutely, committing himself to at least thinking seriously about it. For now however, the bells were chiming in the background to indicate it was now lunch, which also meant they should make an appearance. Harry was itching to get closer, even with that brief separation, regardless of the fact he'd hurt himself, meant the touch of his hand on the older Wizard's sent sparks through his body.

"Guess I'll see you later then…" Harry's voice was vulnerable, but Severus wasn't going to be soft with his Slytherin, they needed to set the boundaries and simply nodded, running a quick hand through the dark locks as his parting way.

 **. . .**

Harry couldn't say he had the most riveting of afternoons, his mind was a buzz with information about Professor Snape's grandparents, but not only that, he was contending with the project for his Defence class. It seemed, that even with physical separation from the man, he was still very much in his thoughts.

Going to the owlery later on, he had sent Professor Flitwick a letter asking if he could come and see him. The Headmistress had mentioned that Charms might be an area of interest for his project and since he needed to get it finished promptly before the end of break, this was going to be his best bet. After committing himself to stay in his own bed over night, it was good to see his Head of House at breakfast and offered the man a smile. It was short lived however, and the small Charms Professor waddled up to him.

"Good to hear from you, Potter. You wanted to talk?"

"I did, Professor. Do you mind?" Harry motioned for the table, they both had to eat breakfast it seemed because the Wizard was just walking in, and was happy that he hopped up onto the bench beside him, "I've been speaking to Professor Snape about this, but it wasn't until I was talking to Professor McGonagall that she mentioned Charms. Are you familiar with the _Fiendfyre_ spell, sir?"

"Yes, you had tickled my interest last night when I received your owl. Familiar with theory, yes, execution however, I haven't attempted it. I trust thorough research has led you to me, which means you know it is dangerous?"

"Well…" Harry hesitated, and looked over the man's head to his Head of House, "It was the recent spike in house fires that have been in the Prophet that caught my attention, so yes… I kind of know how dangerous it is."

"I see. Fiendfyre is often mistaken by those not in the know, as a form of air bending. Are you familiar with this?"

"Air bending? So, you could create things with water or earth?"

"Indeed, Potter. I have found myself skeptical over these reported fires due to one important fact." At this his Professor paused as he took a mouthful of eggs and toast, " _Fiendfyre_ is extremely dark magic as you'll know, which leaves traces just like any Unforgivable out there. Therefore, the culprit _should_ have been found by now, which leads me to believe that instead of dark magic, it is simply a strong Witch or Wizard who is skilled in the art of elemental manipulation, or Alchemy as it can be harder to trace."

Harry let this sink in, but he couldn't imagine the Auror's would have overlooked such a vital piece of information, "How difficult is it to do this air bending thing?"

Professor Flitwick knew that tone from the many years he'd taught his student, but couldn't help the swelling of pride that his Profession was being taken seriously, "First one must be in tune with their inner magic, then, they must harness the natural flow of their energies. Air bending, does not mean an individual can easily pick up fire or water, they have strength with one only."

This all sounded very interesting, and Harry could feel the itch in his chest. He usually got this when he was immensely intrigued by something or he had a strong curiosity that needed to be fed. It wasn't that Professor Flitwick was a push over, in fact he'd seen brief glimpses of the poor man fighting off Death Eaters at the final battle, he might be small but there was nothing soft about him. Which was why he knew that it would be easy to convince the man to help him learn the discipline, already thinking he had a natural inclination through his love of flying.

"Say, you wouldn't be able to show me, could you? It's hard to imagine something without seeing or experiencing it… And as we both know, dark magic requires that real need or desire to want to make it happen. The Headmistress said that she could never cast _Fiendfyre_ , even though she knows how to and I imagine you're the same. So, I'm curious as to how it could be different from manipulating fire." He wasn't even sure that was how you'd call it, but that's what he stuck with for now.

"I have some time free later this morning, meet me down by the Black Lake."

"You're a water bender?" Harry's tone suggested he really didn't know what he was talking about.

"Not quite." His Charms Professor replied, looking mildly guilty and hopped off the bench, waddling away having finished his breakfast.

Twisting around and following the man with his eyes, he thought about what had been said, _first one must be in tune with their inner magic_ , well he couldn't deny this was something he'd stumbled upon earlier in the year and thought maybe he should do some meditation and focusing of energies before his meeting. But first, he needed to write back to his friends since he hadn't gotten around to it the day prior, Hermione would be beside herself thinking that something might have happened to him.

Hagrid was down by the shore talking to Professor Flitwick when Harry walked out of the owlery for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, and transformed into his wolf form to sprint down the hill. He didn't want to be late of course, and his Charms Professor was doing him a solid by showing him this kind of magic. However, his Animgus abilities seemed to have taken a back seat in the short mans mind, because when he came bounding over to the two of them, he jumped behind Hagrid in fright.

"'Ello, 'Arry." Hagrid beamed, and he let out a soft howl in response, splaying his front paws so he could lean towards the ground and jump around excitedly.

Honestly, he hadn't been so free in a long time and it was refreshing.

"Oh, yes of course, Potter how could I forget." Even at this height, Harry's head was marginally taller than his Professor and changed back suddenly.

"Sorry for scaring you, sir." He rubbed the back of his neck but found a hand patting his shoulder from Hagrid.

"No harm, no harm." The little man said and waved in the direction of the Black Lakes shore, "Shall we?"

"Yes, please."

"We'll talk la'er than, Profess'r." Hagrid waved, leaving them to walk alone.

"I wasn't sure if you were going to let me try this out, sir, but I took some time to center myself just in case. If you'd be okay with it, I'd really like to know what my natural energy would be. I think it might be air, but I'm not sure."

"That wouldn't be surprising, Potter, as long as it isn't fire we should be perfectly fine." Professor Flickwick's voice was its usual high pitched tone, but Harry wasn't sure he liked the off aura.

When they were finally at the shore, Harry looked down at the man expectantly with his wand in hand. He could hear Hagrid back up the hill calling out to someone, but when he glanced up he could only see the giant walking towards the forest and shrugged to pay attention.

"Right, now the reason we are here, Potter, isn't because I can manipulate water but rather, fire."

" _Fire?"_ Oh, Harry was extremely interested now.

"For your research, I thought it might be wise for you to feel the difference between this and dark magic – and no I will not be attempting _Fiendfyre_ , Minerva would have my job for that."

Nodding with rapt fascination and excitement, he was told to sit over on some grass so he was immediately out of harms way. As it turned out, his Charms Professor was concerned about wayward fire setting something alight, hence they were close to the shore to douse any flame that _did_ start as an accident. Of course, Harry trusted the man with this, and simply admired him more for the caution.

The first flame that erupted from the wand, Harry was narrowing his eyes, feeling the heat but seeing the tamed way in which it was held. Shapes formed, not necessarily anything in particular but he did find it incredibly fascinating. He humored himself with the fact a Ravenclaw had the ability to bend fire, if any house could do that it should be the Gryffindor's, what with being _hot heads_ and _strong minded_. The fiery outline of a phoenix materialized and with intricate wand work, it flew up into the air, doing circles, before it came back down to the ground and was swallowed up by the lake.

Harry was up on his feet, wand at the ready, "That was incredible, sir! How did you _do_ that?"

"All part of the charm work, Potter." Professor Flitwick was almost beaming with pride, and then Harry was up beside him, asking about the types of spells he needed to do this.

Severus was perched on a branch overlooking the Black Lake when he saw the eruption of flame and found himself a better spot overlooking where Filius and Harry were down at the shore. If his panther form could have raised an eyebrow, it would be reaching his ears with obvious intrigue. He saw nothing humorous that Harry was taking this project to new depths, but at the same time he admired his tenacity in getting it accurate. The way his colleague had commented on it after running into him in the corridor, had sounded as though he was impressed, so, naturally Severus had been curious.

The ability to shift elements wasn't new, and in fact, wasn't too hard to acquire but since it wasn't something they really touched on in school, the art had been slowly dying out. Could he shift? No, however he hadn't tried that hard to center himself enough to try; and again, he found himself thinking that if his Slytherin could do it, _if he did it_ , then he could too. Was it petty for not wanting to be outdone by a mere child? Yes, absolutely it was, but matching Harry meant something to him, not sure what, but it did.

There was a lot of talking and not a lot action for a while, Harry was speaking animatedly enough and would flick his wand at various intervals, remaining calm. Severus believed it was good that he was focusing on something other than what was going on between them, he could feel the ground shifting as their relationship changed and it wasn't necessarily for the better. He knew there should be a line somewhere, but that had been well and truly crossed when he kissed Harry back.

Suddenly, in the distance, Filius was stepping back as a dim blue aura started whirling around the younger Wizard and he blinked several times to make sure he wasn't having a senior moment with his eyesight. _That_ was powerful magic, _ancient_ magic, almost Alchemy. His black lips parted and his tongue shifted to sit across the bottom row of his teeth as he felt the increase of power that started radiating from his Slytherin. The light started to get brighter, bluer and faster.

From this distance and Harry's body angled unfavorably, he couldn't actually tell if the teen was holding his wand, typically these sorts of things were harnessed simply through the act of finding that current of energy flowing through ones body. He remembered faintly that Harry had experienced with this during Christmas, but to see it so strong, he was almost salivating at the challenge.

Knowledge certainly wasn't power; power was power, and armed with knowledge they were deadly. But here was an eighteen year old boy standing on the edge of the Black Lake with the most intense collection of power he'd seen in a long time. Was he a fool to think that what happened during the war was simply a fluke? Absolutely not, this was something Harry had had buried in him for a long time, and with practice he could harness some of the most potent and intoxicating energy on record. Purebloods were the only types of Witch and Wizard that had this natural capability, but he knew for a fact Harry Potter was a Halfblood, just as he was.

With the next wave of magic that thundered through the ground and shook the trees, he saw rippling in the surface of the lake, before it warped and distorted briefly. Severus was soon crouching on the branch he'd been lazily perched along with fascination, Harry had the ability to manipulate water, this was astonishing and rather advanced magic. True to the teen's tenacity, when it didn't work, he tried again, focusing more energy and determination.

It was taxing, clearly, as the visible aura started to dim and evaporate before he stumbled forward and put a hand to his chest. However, this was nothing to scoff at, and went back to his relaxed pose along the branch to continue watching the rest of the lesson – if that's what it could be called anyhow.

"Potter, absolutely incredible, such power and strength." Professor Flitwick beamed, coming forward to speak without yelling.

"That feeling… It's so strong." Harry panted, forgetting that powerful magic took immense mental strength.

"It gets easier with practice, however, this is not an ability to take lightly, I'm sure you can appreciate why, Mr. Potter."

"Of course, sir. Teach everyone and you'll have an army of air benders who could take over the world." He waved his hand about as if he spoke of this in everyday conversation, and Filius sobered when he remembered the things this teen had seen.

"To an extent. Well, I'll let you get some rest, and make sure you do, Potter. Your energy will need time to recover."

"Yes, sir." Harry nodded, taking a seat on a smoothed rock that stuck out along the shore, still breathing heavily.

Fact was though, he felt on the whole, pretty good. Yes, he was out of breath but internally he actually felt like he could try this again given a breather. Instead, he decided against it, and as he sat there watching the small Wizard toddle back up to the castle he himself sobered at the realization that hit him hard. There was a reason why he saw himself as a Boggart, he was powerful, _too_ powerful, if he was easily able to conjure this type of power that took some Witches and Wizards _years_ to develop.

Suddenly feeling the cold, he pulled his feet up and hugged his knees, the entirety of his body beginning to shake. He knew things, he knew how to conjure _Fiendfyre –_ not that he had tried yet – he could easily hone in his elemental manipulation skills, dueling was something he could do in his sleep… What if he became the new man people feared? At this, his head throbbed as a reminder that even if he did, there was a still a part of him that would be eternally clumsy.

This was where Severus lifted his head curiously and the features on his black furred face twisted into concern. Bright yellow green eyes molded into narrowed slits and he considered jumping down to approach the teen, feeling conflicted when he knew he should leave it for Harry to approach him. He couldn't just turn his back however, and stayed up in his tree, watching carefully, calculatingly.

 **. . .**


	63. Chapter 63

**.**

 _ **Sorry for the delayed update. Things have been crazy :P**_

 **. . .**

Harry tossed and turned in his bed, however the moment his mind entered that dream like state… It started. Normal enough, sure, he found himself in a large dining hall with familiar faces, Draco and Hermione opposite him, Mrs. Malfoy to his right at the end of the table… Someone was touching his upper thigh, it was his Professor, but the man wasn't looking at him, his gaze was resolutely on the man at the opposite end to Narcissa, _Lucius Malfoy_. Well, this was a happy family wasn't it? He felt his neck hairs prickling at the sight of the long blonde hair.

It seemed for the most part that he was invisible and his Professor started conversing politely with the other Wizard, he couldn't work out what they were saying but one thing his mind made important was the fact he could feel the warmth of that hand through his trousers.

"You've got to mean it, Harry."

Blinking, he looked to the man beside him, his Head of House looking only at him but the voice, it didn't sound right, "What?"

Actually, there was no mistaking that the voice certainly didn't belong to Professor Snape and he looked to his friends across the table, only to find they weren't there and the spots empty. Frowning, he turned to look at Mrs. Malfoy and found her looking at him also, though there was something odd about the expression she wore.

The colour of her eyes started to change, they became redder and brighter. Gasping, he went to jump up, knocking the chair over in the process and stumbling backwards. Snapping his head round to his Professor, the man's black eyes were changing also which looked sickening coupled with the curling of his lip which he was so used to seeing through a sneer.

Movement from where Hermione and Draco had been sitting then caught his attention and he could have sworn the Ravenclaws voice echoed from a distant part of the house. However, what stood in their place was Voldemort, and he looked very pleased with himself, which only caused Harry's stomach to twist. He hadn't been hearing things, Severus would never say that to him! _Never._

"You!" Harry cried, reaching into his pocket for his wand and pointing it back at the man.

"You've got to mean it, Harry." The voice was back in his head, but it didn't sound like it came from in front of him, rather behind.

There was no one there when he turned his head, only his Professor, whose eyes were blood red with fury. Twisting himself back to Voldemort, the man had disappeared, but a light from outside the house had him scrambling around the table with desperate need. He'd done this, it was all his fault, Severus wouldn't look at him like that, he just wouldn't! He had to save them, that sick fuck had his friends!

He air was blisteringly cold when he managed to find the front door and came face to face with his worst nightmare. Voldemort was laughing evilly at him, Lucius was to his side, righteous as always. Wands pointed, Harry gathered all the energy he could grab and let it manifest within his body, it wasn't water or the calm flow of magic that coursed through his veins, it was a raging fire and it was building. _You've got to mean it_. This time, it was his own voice he heard in his heard and he found his throat burning with the scream he let out as the power within him built.

"Where are my friends? Let them go!" Harry shouted, throwing all the power he had into creating a fiery inferno around him.

Sparks and molten lava sparked from both his wand and the storm raging around him, causing the closest people to jump out of the way. He didn't really understand who was there, he couldn't see their faces, but one that _did_ stand out didn't look fazed at all about what was happening. In fact, if Harry could hone in on that expression, there was joy and glee. Almost like Voldermort was happy about this.

" _Tell me!_ Or so help me I will destroy everything around you so that you're left with nothing!" Harry spat, his fists balling and loosening as he managed to manipulate a large wolf shaped inferno and aimed it at the dark Wizard.

"My dear Harry, you've done that all by yourself."

The twisting and sick voice was right in Harry's ear and he shuddered all over, his power exploding around him. He could hear screams coming from the house, his name being called over and over; horrified to see the house had come ablaze, all the way from the ground to the rooftops. _No,_ he thought, _my friends… Severus!_ He was roaring, screaming their names as he didn't know what to do and collapsed onto the ground, his knee shooting pins of pain as the cap shattered.

"Why make you suffer, when you can destroy everything on your own. Silly Harry Potter. Too weak, so vulnerable with his emotions that he gets everyone around him killed. You'd have made a great ally."

"Shut up! _Shut up!_ " Harry was running dramatically towards the house with his bung knee, he had to stop it, he couldn't let his friends perish.

Thick black smoke surrounded him and he ran to the dining room, Severus was sitting at the table, his body engulfed with flames and he couldn't stop the blood curdling screams and begging as he watched the man burn. _Fiendfyre is hard to control, and the caster can easily perish in their own flames_. Looking down at himself, he could see his trousers had caught alight, though he could not feel the heat on him, terror turned his blood cold as he started to panic further and stumbled into the room.

Jolting upright, Harry grabbed his wand and pointed it to the canopy of his bed, shouting _Aguamenti_. Freezing cold water doused his body, dousing what flames he thought had engulfed him and felt the trembling from his dream. In his sitting position, he held both arms out, mouth open as droplets ran down his bangs and nose; and breathing ragged as he now realised his body was completely saturated wet.

"Great, just bloody great." He huffed, removing himself from the bed and shaking his hair like a wet dog.

He didn't feel like trying to get back to sleep now, so promptly left the dormitory and common room altogether, slipping out into the unusually cold and damp corridor. Looking both ways, he felt the same prickly sensation he'd had prior and with his wand in hand, made his way to Professor Snape's quarters.

 _You've got to mean it, Harry_.

"Get out of my fucking head!" He shouted down the corridor, why, _why_ did he have to hear that voice, it was disgusting and evil.

Stopping in the middle of the empty corridor, he felt like he could hear something coming towards him, it sounded like a deep rumbling and he could tell the floor had begun to shake. The air around him started to shift and a breeze caused his bangs to brush out of his face as he looked into the dark corridor. What on earth was coming that it was causing this level of wind?

It was unmistakable, the sound of rushing water had has eyes widening before his legs kicked into action and he started running the opposite direction. This was madness, did a pipe burst or had the Chamber of Secrets been flooded? Moaning Myrtle was a fleeting thought but that was ridiculous. Water started lapping at his bare feet, making the bottom of his pajama bottoms more wet before a wave crashed down on him and encasing his body in a sphere. He couldn't breath, he started to flail around and fight, but it was no use.

Gasping for air, Harry sat bolt upright and scrambled to the bedside light, turning it on. Panting, he surveyed the surroundings… _No fire… No water…_ He pinched himself to make sure he wasn't still dreaming _, Okay, I should be fine_ , he concluded and huddled under the covers of his bed. Heart racing a million miles he stared at the _dry_ canopy of his bed and worked on casting aside what he'd just seen.

It was clear the time with Professor Flitwick was on his mind, and the manipulation of elements was causing him internal distress. The realization that he could quite easily turn into an evil Wizard hadn't strayed far from his mind, and to be sure that he didn't give off a negative vibe, he'd been keeping away from Professor Snape… Who oddly enough had been referred to by his given name just moments before.

It was time to nip whatever was going on in the bud and deal with what was happening. However, as his heart started to slow down and his body's internal temperature come down to a resting rate, something painfully obvious entered his mind. And no, it didn't have anything to do with dark magic needing intent behind it, there had been something that Professor Dumbledore had said when he realized Harry was a horcrux. All dark magic left its trace, _Fiendfyre_ was dark magic and as his Charms Professor so notably stated, the Auror's should have caught on to who was doing this sooner. That is, until Yaxley most likely wiped their memories of these findings and destroyed evidence.

Knowing he wasn't going to get back to sleep any time soon, and not particularly trusting himself to wander the corridors just in case another wave of water decided to suffocate him, dream or not, he sat rubbing his face with one thing in mind. Hermione would be proud, he thought anyway, as he chucked on some more appropriate clothes and fished around for his Defence notes, he was going to finish this now and be done with it.

 **. . .**

Many hours later, and a cramped hand smudged with black ink, Harry was shakily walking into the Great Hall with his Defence project carefully rolled up. Thankfully, Professor Snape was at breakfast already and he confidently kept striding until he was almost at the platform, this was where his Head of House glanced up from the paper he had spread along his space.

"Good morning, sir. Here." Harry stuck his hand out with the parchment, and the man frowned gently, "It's my project. It's done and I don't want to think about it ever again."

"You are aware, Mr. Potter, that I cannot mark this until I have the others."

"I am very aware of this, sir. I'm not expecting a grade back before he others, I simply don't want it anywhere near me and certainly don't want to be thinking about it."

Minerva and Professor Flitwick, who we sitting either side of Severus watched on with confusion, but it was the elder Witch who took more time in watching the strange expressions that were only just noticeable from her deputy. He seemed to know something she didn't.

"May I enquire as to what has you so resolute this morning?" Severus sat back in his chair, placing the roll of parchment at the head of his paper.

Harry's eyes flicked to the Headmistress briefly before he sighed and shook his head, "No." However, he hesitated and after half turning his body with the intention of going to eat, he looked back at his Head of House, "Dark magic leaves a trace. Curious, don't you think? That after almost a dozen fires and not _one_ Auror has managed to pick up this lead."

With that, Harry turned on his heel and walked to a very empty spot at the Slytherin table, leaving Severus to watch him with interest. The teen was close enough so he could observe the movements, and was disappointed to see his hands shaking as he reached for some water. Whatever had the teen in this mood, he could only guess, but his immediately thought was dreams or lack of sleep.

They hadn't seen each other much over these past few days and when Harry said he needed space, Severus hadn't thought it meant _this_ much. Sadly, he missed the presence in his living room and even more so in his bed that was left cold and empty. Pathetic really, how the actions of an eighteen year old boy could impact him so much, but alas, this was his reality. Minerva was obviously observing the change also and she leaned over to ask him what it was all about.

"You and I need to have a chat." He sighed, picking up his newspaper to get a closer look at the article he had been reading prior.

"I have time at lunch, if you wish to address Potter's rather obvious sign of distress." Minerva commented into her cup of tea, and Severus flicked the corner of his paper down to see that Harry's hands were still shaking as he helped himself to food.

"If he requires support, he knows where to find me." Of course, he had to lace those words partly with contempt, however, judging by her sideways glare, he really wasn't fooling anyone.

"I certainly hope you don't act like that with him, Severus. I'd have a good mind to remove him from your duties."

Well, that sparked something within Severus and he noisily slammed the paper down on the table to give her his full attention, "Once upon a time, you commended my efforts keeping students at an arms length. Mind telling me what has changed between then and now?"

She pursed her lips at him and he caught himself in a staring match, well, glaring was more accurate before he huffed and stood suddenly, dragging the chair with him. Gathering his things, he rounded the staff table and went over to Harry, pressing his palm down flat on the tabletop and obscuring the Headmistress's view with his billowing black robe.

"Please come and see me when you're done," His voice was soft, quiet so the other students couldn't overhear, "You aren't fooling anyone, let alone me, with your behaviour this morning. We can talk about what's bothering you. I presume nightmares are the cause of your despondency?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very well, when you are ready." Severus stood upright, and with his paper and Harry's assignment, he stalked from the room.

Harry took only a split second to realize he had a very short window of opportunity to not be alone when he went down into the Dungeons and sprung to his feet with a piece of toast in his hand, running after the man quickly before he turned the corner. Of course, Severus was surprised when his student fell in step with him, but remained silent and simply glanced over his shoulder to ensure they weren't followed.

The moment the door shut behind them, Harry was moving through to the bedroom and Severus frowned, only to find the black blanket in hand when the teen emerged and went to the couch, "It was awful. I had one of those moments where you think you've woken, only for it to still be a dream… I thought I was coming to see you when I woke properly."

"And how are you fearing right now?" He noted with a softer smile that Harry was burying himself comfortably in the blanket, huddled in a corner of the couch.

"Like I could do with a hug." Harry's eyes shone brightly and Severus couldn't really deny the teen when he looked as he did.

Coming over and sitting next to his Slytherin, he wrapped a hand around his shoulders and pulled the dark locks to his chest, resting his chin at the crown. They stayed silent for the most part, Harry's sighing the only thing breaking that absolute pin drop quiet in his living area. Surprised that he could feel the faintest of shaking thighs, he frowned and questioned the teen.

"I've been learning to manipulate elements, courtesy of Professor Flitwick when I asked him about _Fiendfyre_. I think… It scared me, I dreamt about yo – it… It was horrific."

"I see," Severus ignored the stumble of words, not wanting to dredge everything back up, "And what of this information about the fires?"

Harry sighed once again and twisted so he could lean against his Professor whilst looking him in the eye, "Like I said, don't you think it's odd how witness's lose their memory and the fact dark magic somehow isn't able to be traced? I may not understand how someone _can_ trace magic, though I'm sure you do; Yaxley has to be behind this, it can't just be a coincidence."

"I must agree with your observations; and as such, will be meeting with the Headmistress later today. Would you like me to discuss this with her?"

"Would you?" Harry asked hopefully.

Of course he was going to, Severus wasn't a fool, and he was starting to become desperately concerned about Harry's safety. Yaxley was dangerous, he had seen it for himself and the thought that another Dark Wizard was rising through the ranks had him feeling the same edginess as before. If it were true, and what Auror Robards had said about his consulting role, then there was an easy way to infiltrate the Ministry. This was far beyond his control, but Minerva had influence, she had to know.

"Yes. Now, about this nightmare…" Severus trailed off twisting his neck to look at Harry's face that had turned away, "Was it about me?"

"How – " Huffing and looking down between what little space there was between them, Harry realized his stutter was noticed, "Yes, partly… I'm trying not to think of it as a sign, like when You Know Who would plant things in my head."

"Harry, there is no one in your head, let me tell you that with confidence. There is no one in this school that could pose as much of a threat like that. It is a dream, no truth."

With tearing up green eyes, Harry looked to his Professor, and his chin wobbled noticeably, "I killed you."

"Yet here I sit." Severus attempted to placate the teen, "I would never let you do that, Harry. Surely you understand that." He then pressed a kiss to Harry's temple, which then escalated to a gentle lip massage when his Slytherin turned his head.

Harry's body completely relaxed under the action, the tension in his shoulders and the shakes through each limb subsided. Things were on the cusp of disappearing from his immediate conscience, when he felt his Professor pulling back, obviously thinking if the calculating gaze was anything to go by.

"How do you feel about helping me brew this morning?"

"The distraction would be great." Harry replied honestly and was soon hauled up off the couch.

 **. . .**

Severus didn't know what he'd been thinking when he'd offered to take on potions work with Harry, it was testing his self-control immensely. He hadn't thought the teen needed this much support but perhaps it was just his desperate need for perfection that had him almost micromanaging the younger Wizard that morning. Strangely enough, he'd been able to reign in the sarcastic and irate comments about sloppy preparations, and instead started enjoying the hands on experience, possibly a little too much.

They'd been in this position before, Severus standing flush against the back of his Slytherin, hands covering smaller ones in an effort to manage the stead stirs of the concoction. His cheek pressed against Harry's ear as he slowly counted out the turns, fully aware that his students breathing hitched, becoming shallower. This was the control he desired, required even, as he felt the younger Wizard giving up his own.

"Next ingredient." Severus said softly, noting the way Harry's body reacted.

Safe to say, by the end of the process, he had to step back and take a moment to bring his own body under control before meeting with the Headmistress. Harry was cleaning their utensils on one side of the room, and he was at the other, delicately pouring their joint effort into vials, willing his lower half to lose interest. His Slytherin, innocent in his ways, was a true minx once all the drama was pulled aside.

"Thank you for helping, Harry. You have solid foundations for brewing, now it's a matter of identifying various combinations and understanding how they work, or do not work."

Harry turned around and leaned against the bench, nodding solemnly, "There doesn't seem to be much point though, I don't need this in the future."

Sighing, Severus gave his student a short glare, "Regardless, knowing how to create potions is part of Wizarding culture. If you are sick, or have any ailment, they are crucial for – "

"I lived with Muggles up until my eleventh birthday. I don't _need_ potions when I could go and see a Doctor." This time, Harry sigh, and half shrugged, "Sorry, shouldn't really be saying this to a Potion's Master."

Indeed, the teen was correct, but he could see how this conclusion was made, in fact a lot of students who were Muggleborn struggled in Potions and once graduated, continued to live a highly Muggle lifestyle. Aside from Granger, he hadn't had Muggleborn's in his NEWT classes for years. Not wanting to dwell on this subject any longer, he left the room and went to his desk, Harry showing himself a second later but hesitating in the doorframe.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?"

"Disappointed, but you are your own person, I'm certainly not angry." Severus replied, and Harry looked down at his shoes, "I must go and see the Headmistress with this new information about Yaxley. Go and have lunch, we can meet again later." Coming to the younger Wizard, he brushed the pad of his thumb along Harry's jaw and met him with a kiss.

He'd only just made it to the door when Harry's voice stopped him, "Can I stay tonight? I don't… I'm – "

"Yes, Harry." Severus took pity on the teen, letting the smallest of curls pull at the corner of his mouth before pulling through the door and disappearing.

It seemed so simple, second nature almost, to just leave his student alone in his rooms but he did trust the teen. The most he was likely to do would be sleep or study, even as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end at the prospect of Harry finding things he would rather he didn't, Minerva needed to see him.

Harry pouted where he leaned against the frame and glanced around the empty room. He didn't have anything here with him, so unless he was going to sit and stare at the empty fireplace, there was no reason for him to be there. He hadn't meant to insult the older man, but it was just the truth, he could happily live without magic if he wanted to. Of course, there were some things that he'd grown accustomed to with using magic but that could be easily remedied.

With nothing more to really do with his studies, he decided to practice the new ability of manipulating water. He doubted there would be any chance he could get to Professor Flitwicks' level, but he realized belatedly that a simple _Aguamenti_ charm could procure his element easily enough for him to play around with it. His first stop was the Great Hall for lunch, as requested by his Head of House, not that it was quite ready and when he arrived, the tables were laden with cutlery, goblets and plates.

Taking a seat, he considered the goblet in front of him and had an idea. Pulling his wand, he filled it with water before pulling the one beside him over so there a small distance. He wasn't sure how this would work out, but he could remember the feeling of his magic flowing through his veins, it reminded him of water, cool and calm. Focusing on the full goblet in front of him, he narrowed in on it and imagined a line of water arching over into the other goblet.

"Harry?"

Flinching and losing his concentration, the water was pushed forward and splashed across the empty table. He glared across his shoulder at Jason, who had interrupted him, not bothered in fixing the running water dripping along the opposite edge of the table. Typical, he had to get stuck with the Ravenclaw's presence when Professor Snape was otherwise occupied and refused to look at Jason, instead piercing his eyes straight into the reflective wet surface.

"Can I join you? Please?"

"Broken up with your boyfriend?" Harry found himself saying, unmoving.

"No, but I upset you so… I wanted to make sure you knew how sorry I was." At this, Harry finally addressed the younger teen who then sat beside him, "You're right, I didn't know all that stuff about you, but I guess things have been a little stressful for you lately. I'm sorry for insulting your position."

Harry listened, and then he thought; it wasn't that he felt his position had been insulted but Professor Snape was a delicate subject and everything he'd said that day in Hogsmeade was true. He _didn't_ have anyone else, and Professor McGonagall was the closest thing at school to a mother figure that he could have. Yes, there was Molly Weasley, but with the current standing, he couldn't very well go and stay with them now could he?

"Fine. Apology accepted." Harry huffed, taking his wand and trying to rally up the water to get it back into the goblet.

"Okay, cool." Jason said hesitantly, "What are you doing?"

"Practicing." Harry replied vaguely, giving up a little while later when he couldn't gather the energy to get the water to do what he wanted, "So, how _is_ your boyfriend then?"

Harry decided to leave his testy attitude alone, and genuinely looked to the Ravenclaw, interested in the answer and curious as to certain things that had been mentioned previously. It seemed Jason was embarrassed or he just didn't want to delve into it when his cheeks reddened gently and a coy smile appeared. The Slytherin had this sinking feeling he knew what was about to be said, and waited with baited breath.

"Are you good, Harry?" The sandy haired teen asked, and Harry nodded, partly with relief and otherwise tired of fighting with people, "Okay well, yes, we… uh, yeah it happened." Jason nervously huffed.

"You…" Harry blinked, feeling nervous himself.

The Ravenclaw looked around the hall, there were only a couple of people here as lunch still hadn't been served yet and the others were all studying, but Harry was quick to observe that the Hufflepuff in question wasn't around. He was almost nervous for his rocky friend, but in hindsight, he knew that this wasn't something that Jason likely wanted to share with just anyone and the apology could have been a way for them to be friends once more for this particular conversation.

"Yeah, and… It wasn't… Well, it was different, you know?"

No, Harry didn't know, and it must have been obvious on his face because Jason looked at him with pity. He'd never had sex with a female, and Professor Snape was a man, they were nowhere near that stage yet… Or, maybe they were? But there was too much going on at the moment to even contemplate mentioning it and in all honesty, Harry was still a little nervous about the whole intimacy thing, even though he realized at every stage so far, the man had been careful to make sure that was what he wanted.

"Okay, I don't want to scare you about it but it's really painful if you're the one that gets shagged. I'm sure that's obvious." Jason shrugged, his face still red and Harry felt himself growing warm in the cheeks too, "Which was me but, I don't know, it was totally worth it."

"Did you at least have fun?"

"The lead up was great, and he had this stuff that makes things all slippery. He said it was a Muggle liquid, and _Merlin_ does it make all the difference. You should really try some, you know, for when you're – " Jason cut himself off as he motioned down to his groin and jerked his head to try and non-verbally explain what he meant.

"Oh," Harry gasped, understanding, "Oh, right." He then laughed and then became thoughtful for a moment right before the food appeared up on the tables.

Lunch was mostly silent after this, and the previous worries of fires and imminent death from causing everything to ignite were pushed aside as Jason's words circulated in his mind. It occurred to Harry that he really had no idea about all this stuff, sure education on certain male organs was touched upon when he was at his Muggle elementary school, but Hogwarts didn't exactly prep them in the art of sex and sexual relationships. Was this something parents were supposed to tell them about?

 **. . .**

Severus was picking at an invisible piece of lint off his trousers as he waited for the Headmistress to return, she currently had her head deep inside the fireplace speaking with Kingsley Shacklebolt, and wasn't at all surprised when he heard the Floo roar into life.

"We appreciate the promptness." Minerva had her hand on her chest to calm the sudden surprise of their Minister for Magic stepping into her office.

"This is a serious allegation, Minerva." Kingsley nodded, and Severus greeted him when he came up the steps, "Severus."

"Minister." Severus nodded, and they all took a seat.

"I must admit that the news Corban Yaxley is working as a specialist for the Auror Department has come as a surprise. It isn't uncommon for these types of things to occur, but I myself have concerns over his placement in the Ministry." Kingsley said, accepting a cup of tea, "Looking at the previous cases for these fires, I'm sure you can see the same pattern I can, Severus."

"My concerns are not for myself, but for Harry Potter."

"Potter? How so?" Kingsley frowned in his calm manner.

"Call it a hunch."

"He's going to need more than a hunch, Severus. What is it that you know?" Minerva was leaning forward in her seat, demanding an answer.

"Something he mentioned to me recently, Yaxley was not only the one to hunt Miss. Grangers parents during the war, but found out the identity of Potter and his friends when they visited the Ministry under the guise of Polyjuice. He mentioned that whilst at first, their intentions were to escape back to the safe house, Yaxley unfortunately saw the location before Granger's quick thinking had them go somewhere else. My concern, is that with Potter taking his _fieldtrip_ to see Head Auror Robards, he has now made himself a target."

Kingsley nodded in understanding, and Severus shot Minerva a withering glance to show that he wasn't happy Harry had been allowed to go in the first place. He should have had an escort, more than just Robards, because now it appeared there was something underlying within the Ministry.

"What are you saying, Severus?" Minerva asked in the silence that followed.

"I am saying, that there is a real chance the safe house could be next. No one but the three of us here know about its location outside of Potter and his friends. No other follower, nor the Malfoy family for that matter, knows of its location. Should there be another attack, I could wager my shattered reputation that it will be this. Whilst the motives are unclear, the Aurors are clearly at the mercy of Yaxley."

"This news is concerning, to say the least. I will keep my ears open for anything and conduct my own investigations into this. If what you believe is true, then Yaxley is certainly going to be a much larger thorn in the Ministry's side until something is done. I rather doubt Potter himself is directly a target, but I would be wary about letting him stray from the castle, Minerva." The Minister made a point of mentioning, and Severus was extremely pleased that he wasn't alone with this idea.

"Of course, and Severus, I would like you to pay closer attention to him. He's been through enough and this might bring him back to that dark place. You know him better currently than I do, would the destruction of Grimmauld place set him back?"

"We have plans in place for issues that arise, I would be a fool to say he wouldn't be affected in some way, it is after all, the last link he has to anything remotely family orientated." Severus didn't really want to think of the Blacks, but he was forced to with this statement.

"The three adults then all nodded to one another before Kingsley excused himself, disappearing into the green flames of the Floo network. Minerva seemed to have aged ten years when Severus turned back to her and also felt a weight on him that hadn't been there before. It was clear, things wouldn't be going back to normal anytime soon, and he figured the added stress was certainly going to put the older Witch into an early grave.

"If anything happens to that boy, I will never forgive myself." Minerva commented, and the Slytherin refrained from correcting her that Harry was certainly no _boy_.

 **. . .**


	64. Chapter 64

**.**

 _ ***Holds breath***_

 **. . .**

It was less than forty eight hours until the new term would be starting, and Harry was sitting in the Great Hall with the magical cooking book spread out in front of him. He actually had no idea what Professor Snape even liked to eat, he hadn't paid that much attention to the man before and flicked through various meals before he came to something that might be appropriate. Jason came and sat beside him, and he felt a weird sort of flutter in his chest when he remembered the conversation about intimacy.

"What's that?"

"I'm not used to the whole cooking with magic thing, so I'm researching."

"Cool, I haven't really delved into that myself, is it hard?"

"It seems rather straight forward, but doesn't it seem weird? Like, you're cooking with your wand. There's no need for an oven or stove top… Just the power of magic."

"What's a stove top?" Jason asked, and Harry sighed, realizing that the Ravenclaw's parents were very much a Wizarding family.

"Don't worry." Harry muttered, flicking the page, which started off the desserts.

After not having seen his Head of House for most of the day, Harry finally went down to see him and knocked politely before entering and found the man sitting at his desk. Smiling over at the older Wizard, he moved over to where he was to see what he was doing, only to be told to go into the laboratory instead. Frowning at the odd tone, Harry did so and sat on the stool waiting for the man to come through.

"Apologies, Harry."

Glancing at the man coming into the room he shook his head, not particularly bothered by it but now wondering what they would do, "If you're busy, I can come back."

"No need, I am now free of my obligations."

"Oh, well good because there was something I wanted to ask you." Harry said, sitting up straighter, "Can I make you dinner tonight?"

Quipping an eyebrow, Severus considered the question before nodding, "You may. Has something sparked your interest?"

"Well, you said that cooking was like Potions… Or, Potion's is like cooking…" Wincing at his own ineloquent speech, he cleared his throat, "I thought we could spend our last night together before the term starts, because I realize this casual time won't be allowed when the rest of the school comes back."

"That would be acceptable; and it would only be a mild change. Previous arrangements still stand."

His Professor must have been referring to their midweek meeting and potential weekend allotments, which was pleasing to hear because Harry knew it was going to be strange adapting back into a routine even though it had only been two weeks. He wasn't blind to see there were some reservations however, and to rectify this he stood and rounded the table to stand in front of the man.

"You're worried about something."

Severus blinked, unsure when his expressions were so easily exposed, "Nothing that cannot be handled and controlled. Now, would you like to help me with something Madame Pomfrey requires, or sit there and watch me?"

"I'll help." Harry smiled, moving to his normal position and waiting for instruction.

He could almost get used to this, it was surprisingly fun and relaxing brewing with his Head of House, the extra attention and touches he was given when trying to correct something… It almost made him want to mess up on purpose but he knew the older Wizard would have realized this and he didn't want to make his Professor upset. His prior standing on Potion's was forgotten and he almost wanted to take it back, perhaps he could wrangle something like this when term resumed so they could spend more time together.

 **. . .**

"Okay, I'm going to the kitchens to get the ingredients… Did you want to come or – "

"I'll be happy with anything you make, Harry." Severus called from the bedroom; he was washing his hands and wrists after getting dirty in their brewing.

Harry felt something swell within him, and with the book clutched under his arm, he set off to get what he needed. Cooking for Professor Snape, Merlin, it was so domesticated and loving. If any of his friends were to see this, regardless of the illicit relationship, they would have laughed at him until crying. Anyway, he found his way to the kitchens and felt a little bad about disrupting the elves as they dithered about.

In the mean time, Severus had come back into his living area and finally given in on the urge to forget about the letter from his Grandparents things and was standing in front of his desk as he plucked the envelope and quickly broke the wax seal. His heart was beating furiously within his chest and he took a deep breath before reading its contents. It wasn't from his grandparents at all, it was from his mother. Now, he'd known of her Seer abilities, one might even suggest that this was why he was competent at Occlumency and a talented Legillimens, but he had never known her to give future readings.

This letter, for all intents and purposes, was something written back when he was an eleven year old boy the day after he had been sorted into Slytherin house. It was a prophecy of sorts, outlining what was going to happen to him in the future. Well, that future was now, and if he hadn't of felt the presence of someone else in his rooms, he wouldn't have heard a thing through the blood rushing through his ears.

"Sir?" Harry was walking towards him and his black eyes sought the teen out, "What's happened?"

" _Nothing_." Severus replied, his voice less than a whisper, _"Nothing_."

"Are you sure? You look pale."

" _Fine_."

Harry was torn, he didn't know whether he should be worried about the piece of parchment in the mans hands, his distant expression, or focus on making their dinner. After a few seconds, he decided to give the man his privacy and space to work out what was going on and focused on the latter, taking over the dining table with his ingredients. With the book open, he read through what he should be doing and got started on the process. In hindsight, it was very much like brewing potions but focused solely wand work rather than stirring.

He would give the man glances every now and then, and later he felt arms wrapping around his midsection as he attempted to wand bake. Pausing in his wand movements, he tried to peer over his shoulder only to find his Professor draping right over him and nuzzling into his neck. Confused and surprised, Harry placed his hands over the older man's and took it for what it was. Comfort.

"What's this?" Harry finally asked, remaining still.

"You smell like flour." The man said, and Harry snorted as he looked down at the front of his pants, "Trust you to get filthy with using magic to cook."

Smiling, the younger Slytherin relaxed into the embrace, "I slipped when measuring, still room to get messy."

His Head of House simply hummed and then let him go before coming around the opposite side of the table and watching things come together. He supposed the best part of cooking with magic was that it was instant, he didn't have to wait for the oven to heat up or water to boil, it was all just ready within a matter of seconds. All in all, Harry was pretty impressed with his efforts, though the plaiting detail on his Beef Wellington wasn't very refined but it looked delicious.

"I wasn't sure what to do about drinks…" Harry trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck as he pulled out the plates and cutlery.

"Easily remedied." His Professor replied, calling to an elf.

Whilst the man spoke to the creature, Harry disappeared into the bathroom to clean himself up and brushed the flour off his pants in an attempt to make himself look presentable. If everything went well tonight, he might be a more experienced and wise boy by tomorrow morning, but as he dried off his hands, he noted the white lines on his wrists and shuddered.

Pulling up one sleeve, he felt his appetite disappear and bile replace the bubbling in his throat; what did Professor Snape see in him anyway? He'd said in the past that the scars didn't bother him, that it was fine to expose them, but that was before they got together. They hadn't seen much of each other's skin, it was always dark when he wore a tee when sleeping the night, or his arms were covered. Would the older Wizard want to be sleeping with someone who looked this disgusting?

Feeling more somber than he had prior to walking out of the living area, he found his Professor sitting at the table and was surprised to see a butterbeer at the free place setting. Despite his self-loathing thoughts, he managed a smile and took the free seat, eyeing his Professor with interest as something had clearly changed.

"A treat, do not get used to it. This dinner looks delicious."

"Thank you." Harry beamed.

Dinner was mostly silent, and both had their own reasons for this being the case. Harry obviously concerned about his looks, and Severus… Well, he was still reeling from the contents of his mother's letter. He didn't know the true extent of how this would be impacting his life, there was every chance his grandparents had been instructed on giving him these items in the first place if something happened to him, perhaps they had a letter too? Whichever the case, he found it too coincidental that it just be an accident and chewed his food thoughtfully.

"How did the meeting with Professor McGonagall go?" Harry broke the silence some time later with the burning question he'd waited long enough to ask.

Severus seemed to come out of his daze, "As well as could be, I suppose. Shacklebolt was there, he will be providing his own investigation into what we know. The Headmistress and I have not heard anything since."

"Do you think anything _will_ happen?" Harry asked tentatively, the nightmare about Fiendfyre still bringing his muscles tingling at the mere thought.

Leaning back in his chair, the older Wizard thought a moment, "I would be lying if I had full confidence in something coming to light. We can give Kingsley time, it's all we can do for now."

Severus knew this wouldn't be good enough for his student, but the fact remained, he couldn't do much about it. Short of walking into the Ministry tomorrow and killing the man of interest on sight, his hands were tied, and this wasn't particularly something he wanted to be locked up in Azkaban for; as tempting as it was.

Once they were done, Harry looked down at his plate, unable to meet his Professor's eye, but soon even that was taken away by an elf who cleared the remaining food. He didn't want to wait the evening however, and forced himself to come out of his shell and glance at the man, who was already looking at him questioningly. Whether it was the light in the room, the way he appeared to sit relaxed, or his loyal love for the older Wizard, he stood and motioned for the couch.

"You sit, there is something I want to give you." Harry peered over his shoulder at the man who had spoken and nodded, kicking off his shoes and pushing them under the coffee table as he waited.

His Head of House returned quickly and sat beside him, but Harry wasn't willing to be patient and shifted to straddle the man's thighs, clearly taking him by surprise. Professor Snape had something in his hand, which was soon revealed after a strange expression passed at their current position.

"I want you to wear this."

"A prefects pin?"

"Not just _any_ pin," His Professor commented, slipping it over Harry's head, "Until that deranged man has been dealt his dues, I want you to wear it, and I do not say this lightly when I strongly suggest you _never_ take it off. This can be a reminder of the hard work you have put in thus far also; and just between us, there are some of the strongest protection charms in existence spelled into the stirling itself."

Harry touched the pendant and felt a warm current of magic flowing from it and tickling his fingertips. This was a very rare gift indeed, and he spied the signet ring he still wore also that had been given to him by the Malfoy's. Slytherin was now his home, well and truly, and all stigmata associated with the house were gone. Resourceful and cunning, yes; but also, protective and loving.

Overcome with emotions, he pressed forward and slid his hands up over the man's shoulders, bringing them together and showing his appreciation. Melting into the warm hands pressing into the curvature of his spine, he let his body relax, the desire to turn their movements sideways so he could feel the comforting pressure of his Professor's body holding him down.

To his surprise, warm hands shifted to his hips and the light touch of fingers shifting under his top, not going far, but adding to his desires. In the next moment, he felt the cooler air of the room hitting his skin as the top was pulled upwards as hands ascended up his back. Was the gifting of this pendant more than just protection? Whilst his Head of House had been very resolute about keeping things slow with their relationship, this was a bold move, and as a result, Harry simply moved his arms up so his top could be fully removed.

Their kiss was only broken as he was divulged of his shirt, and Harry went back to it immediately, noticing in the flicker of a pause that his Professor had something passionate in his gaze. Feeling spurred on, he shifted his own hands across the man's shoulders and tentatively played with the first button he came across, unsure of whether he would be pushed away or not.

When his Professor pulled away suddenly, holding onto one of his shoulders, the teen frowned, "Where is this going, Harry?"

"I'm not sure. You're the one that…" He trailed off when he looked down at himself and saw the scars standing boldly against his skin.

Severus blinked, looking at his students face with scrutiny, "Yellow." He repeated, seeing the sadness even though Harry wasn't looking at him and did the first thing he thought of to make things better.

He picked up one arm and brought up to his mouth, placing a kiss to the forearm before meeting confused green eyes, "Your body does not define you. Shed it like a snake sheds its skin and leave it, forgotten, behind you."

"How ironic." Harry huffed, before his face contorted with immense emotion and tears started developing in the corner of his eyes.

And it was true, he was a snake – both his house and Patronus represented the serpent, it was like his life was coming about full circle and it really just hit him. His journey begun with Professor Snape at Hogwarts, and it was going to end the same way post-graduation. He loved this man, he really did, but the force of that sudden realization that he never wanted to be apart almost knocked the wind right out of him. The words, he couldn't stop them and he'd never uttered them to anyone before in this capacity, but when they did speak, _I love you,_ his entire body filled with dread.

There was a distinct pause that hung in the air, Professor Snape's expression not giving anything away until he finally spoke, "I know you do, Harry."

He almost wanted to burst, the man didn't need to say anything else for him to understand the meaning behind it and leaned into the touch against his cheek as he desperately held onto the tears. The kiss was inevitable, and it was unrushed, both taking time. Whilst it wasn't cold in the room, goosebumps appeared along Harry's arms and he felt a shudder wrack through him when he felt both the man's thumbs running up the inside of his arms.

"Why don't we take this elsewhere?" His Professor suggested in a soft voice, the deep tone causing pleasurable waves to run the length of Harry's body.

Forgetting about the outside world, they were soon shut away in the man's bedroom and the dimmed lighting making him feel more comfortable. He didn't think there would be any situation soon where he wouldn't be emotionally affected by the scars, and when shone in brighter lighting, they really did look awful. Here, however, was safety and a sense of security; anything could happen from now on and he knew everything would be okay.

They both stood beside the bed and Harry reached up committedly to unfasten the buttons on the man's robes, starting with tentative touches. How on earth the older Wizard dealt with these on a daily basis was beyond him, but he was rewarded with patience as he unbuttoned the top five buttons and exposed the white shirt beneath it.

"You are shaking." His Professor commented, his hands having sought out Harry's hips.

"I'm not nervous." He replied lamely, and the man leaned down to kiss him, "Maybe, a little. I just realized that you've always had a shirt on." But even as Harry said it, he understood why that had been the case and he dropped a hand to his waist, firmly gripping onto the man's left wrist.

"We all have imperfections, and some reminders should not be unearthed."

"But you said I shouldn't be afraid of mine, that they don't define who I am… _This_ , "Harry squeezed the wrist gently, "Doesn't mean you're still the same person before you took it."

"Regardless, I would rather you didn't see it."

Feeling startled, Harry's jaw slackened at the disgusting manner in which the man spoke, but his eyes betrayed the anger and instead showed his ultimate weakness. Was this the reason why his Professor had been so hesitant to take things further? It was just a mark on his arm, much like the ones Harry had – But that was just it, and he knew the older Wizard understood him and vice versa.

Harry didn't say anything in response, instead he went back to the many buttons on his Professor's and when he'd finally got the end, worked hard to try effortlessly slip it off and down his shoulders. White on his Head of House looked strangely refreshing and despite the intense nature of their previous statements, found himself smiling.

Deciding to leave the shirt issue alone for now and respecting the man's stance on the elusive Dark Mark, Harry took a deep breath and worked the button on his Professor's trousers free. This he had no qualms about, however when he was about to drop to his knees, hands stopped him and held him upright. Frowning quizzically, those same hands wordless went to his own trousers and went to undo them.

"Just trying to even the playing field." Harry pouted, feeling his trousers sag against his hips and edge down his legs.

"Playing field in which, I make the rules, Harry. Now, get under the covers."

Feeling a shudder of anticipation run the length of his spine, Harry turned around and did so, enjoying the subtle way he was commanded. He'd like to think he had some control, in fact, he knew he _did_ , all it would take was one word. He turned back to find his Professor already lifting the covers to follow him under and it was in that brief snippet that he caught when part of the sheet showed the man, that he realized there was very little separating them in terms of clothes.

The little bit of leg that he saw had his heart beating harder, and when he felt the warmth of it brushing against his own, he was fluttering and the butterflies took flight in his stomach. Could this be what he wanted to happen? Whatever his next thought was, it disappeared when he felt the comforting weight of the older Wizard resting partially across him and his entire body was set alit with pleasure.

He wanted to speak, to say, _this is my favourite place_ , but decided to let the desire to speak pass and instead explore this new territory of the man above him. His fingertips were already gliding up under his Professor's shirt before changing direction with the clear intention of feeling what he hadn't before. How strange it was to run his hands along the surprisingly firm and rounded globes of Professor Snape's backside, then less intimidating when his fingers grazed through the supposedly black hairs along his upper thighs.

Becoming aware sometime later, when they had both had their share of groping and gentle grinding, Harry could feel an obvious hardness pressing against his hip bone to a point where it was painful. He couldn't help but find himself in the same state and shifted in an attempt to flip them, thinking that it might be interesting from above. Of course, he wasn't granted the opportunity when he was happily distracted by a hand rubbing against his center, having snuck under the waist band of his briefs.

It was slow and sensual, coupled by a kiss that sealed his desire and need to get more. Attempting to copy the man, he was able to wriggle free enough to get a good enough grip on the length that filled his palm well. The hiss of a gasp that filled his ear was like the sweetest music and he found himself pressing his lips into the juncture of Professor Snape's neck in response. The action muffled his own sounds, the wanton moans that gave away his obvious pleasure.

" _What have you done to me?_ " His Professor whispered, causing him to melt further under the solid form pressing him down, " _You used to fear my presence – "_

" _And now I crave it_."

Harry then pulled away and made sure he was looking the man in the eye for his next sentence. Of course, he could feel his face flaming already but was resolute on what he wanted. If Jason could do this by fumbling his way around a dank corridor, then Harry was sure as hell capable of getting treated right on a comfortable bed with a man he loved.

"I want to have sex."

For the second time that evening, there was a pregnant pause, something that had his stomach churning and kitting painfully. Why did his Professor have to do this? Why couldn't he just answer the damn statement to put him out of his misery? With what felt like many minutes had passed, all movement with both of their hands stopped and he felt his center being let go. Not one to feel awkward about it all, he too let go and suddenly his body grew cold, much like he had said the wrong thing.

"Are you sure?"

Finally, _finally_ an answer and it wasn't an outright decline of his desires. Nodding his approval, he then bit his lip and took to making shallow breathes as there was another long pause and the man shifted, finally flipping their positions. With Harry on top, he felt very empowered, emboldened to run his hands down the man's shirt covered chest and rock against the lap he sat on. There was a jolt of excitement that was verbally elicited from both of them before Harry was pulled forward in a quick kiss.

"It may hurt." His Head of House warned, but it was nothing he didn't already know because he'd been told that already.

"That's fine, I can take it."

And take it he could, there weren't many months of the years he'd been alive where he hadn't been in some form of pain and trauma. His relatives made sure of that, and then Voldemort for the recent few, a little pain with the older Wizard wasn't going to be anything new and the moment he felt something probing at the tight hole of his backside, he felt like there had been something missing until now. It was strange, _and it hurt_ , but a little discomfort was less than what he'd endured in the past.

"Harry, reach into the drawer and there is a vial of clear liquid."

Doing so, he peered inside and saw several various vials, two which had clear liquid in them and pulled them both out. It seemed the man didn't care which one and he put the extra one back for now, seeing his Professor dipping his finger into the thick tube before corking it again. The pressure at his backside was there once more, and he was comfortable with this… Until that finger suddenly slipped right inside him and he clenched his ass in surprise.

"It will be better when you relax."

Professor Snape's voice alone was enough to calm him, and taking a deep breath he tried to relax against the intrusive finger. Looking down at the man, he found black eyes studying him carefully, wondering how long he'd been watching him and started to squirm. A gentle shift of the digit inside him and he nodded, as if to say, _it's okay, keep going_ , not that he knew what the _keep going_ part would be. He could only guess.

 **. . .**

There were aches, and then there were _aches_ , as Harry groaned uncomfortably whilst still tightly held in the arms of his Professor. He was feeling well exercised, relaxed, but sore in a more private area that had been well used that night. There were some odd emotions that cropped up as he lay there, confusion was one of them, alongside an insecurity he hadn't encountered before and of course, anxiety.

He had thought the man was still asleep, but a gentle tightening of the arms around him indicated that he was waking, and a sinking feeling added to the toxic cocktail of negative emotions circling his mind. What if this had been a mistake? It wasn't entirely fair to say that he'd been pushed into this of course, he had wanted it, but perhaps he should have waited that little bit longer and savoured the peaceful interactions they'd settled into before taking the plunge.

Wondering if he could sneak out and pretend this never happened, chalk it down to just a dream he'd had, the attempt at trying to worm his way out of the protective hold did not go well and only resulted in waking the man fully. Rolling onto his back, Harry was brought with him and ended up half lying across his clothed chest, the spattering of fine hairs rubbing against his cheek through the parted material. A steady heartbeat sought to bring Harry's anxiety down a notch, he was still being held so that must have meant things were okay… He wouldn't know of course until they spoke but he wasn't sure if he could handle that at this point. Emotions were bubbling fiercely to the surface, mounting quickly.

Another pressing matter was the need to relieve himself and with less grip around his body he was able to extract himself from the tangle of limbs and bodies. The cold hit him immediately and he was only just in time to cover a whimper that slipped through his lips when he thought about being cast aside. He didn't know why this sudden attack happened, but he quickly ducked into the bathroom and shut the door as quietly as he could, trapping himself in the small room. He wanted space to think, but he also wanted to be back where he was, the older Wizard reassuring him that things weren't going to change from here on out and they were still friends, or lovers, or whatever they wanted to be defined as. _Partners_ , I think his Professor had eluded to once.

The toilet seemed to flush louder than ever it had before and he cringed as he imagined Professor Snape waking fully because of it. Why was he so afraid and ashamed of what transpired? He imagined when two people came together like this that it would be hot and steamy, relaxing in whatever afterglow there was when they completed the task. Well, that's what he'd seen in the few scarce movies he'd watched in his life… Then again they had all been in straight relationships too. Was it different when it was the other way around? Providing they were still on talking terms when they spoke about their night, Harry wondered if he would ever experience it with their roles reversed, would it feel different? He couldn't even ask Jason about it.

Washing his hands, he splashed his face with cold water, the harsh liquid startling him and he hoped it would also sharpen his mind. It did that, too well, and he looked at the door in his mirrored reflection, suddenly completely against opening that door and walking back through. This was going to be his new home, the dark black tones of the bathroom, accented with whites here and there, no colour, just black and white. This irrational fear of stepping out of the room was insane, he shouldn't be so nervous about what awaited him on the other side. What was the worst that would happen? The man would probably still be asleep, that's what.

 _Get a grip._

"Harry?"

Almost jumping from his skin, the gentle knock and voice that followed had him slipping backwards and onto his _very_ sore backside. Wincing and crying out between his bitten lips, the door opened and Severus found himself looking down on a naked young man, who was trying to cover himself up. Holding out his hand, Harry stopped floundering and looked up at him with worry, but why did he look so terrified? Severus had no doubt there would be aches over his body, even _he_ had not been immune himself as his thighs trembled almost pleasantly, reaching down to forcibly pick his student up. He was dressed in his robe at this point, having waited long enough for the bathroom and thinking Harry had been taking too long. Wanting to provide some reprieve from the lost dignity, there was a bathrobe hanging on the back of his bathroom door and plucked it off the hook, wrapping it around the brunette's shoulders.

"This certainly gives a new meaning to your clumsy nature." Severus commented lightly, trying to lighten the mood when he saw unsure, wide eyes looking back at him, "Harry?"

"Was last night a mistake?" Blurting out the first thing that came to mind, he regretted it immediately.

"I would certainly hope not." Severus saw the insecurities and relaxed his offended stance, raking his fingers through Harry's hair, "Come back to bed, there is no rush to be anywhere this morning. I will join you once I am done here."

Harry nodded mutely, feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes and bowed his head. The door wasn't properly closed as he climbed back into bed and he could hear the tinkling of his Professor using the toilet but it still didn't provide much comfort. What if the man was just feigning his concern because he decided he'd want it again in the future? _I feel robbed, cheated out of something…_ He didn't know what that something was, but it wasn't a physical entity that could be touched. Huddling under the sheets, they felt so foreign to him and he remained wrapped up in the robe, resting against the headboard so he was sitting and able to make a quick escape if necessary.

His Professor emerged soon after, the light from inside the bathroom was extinguished and made the bedroom that little bit lighter so he could see the man walking towards the bed. He stopped at the end, picking something up and turned away so he was looking at the solid sillohette of his back. There was a rustling, like material running against skin and Harry felt his throat go dry when the robe slid off to reveal shirt. His Professor was now wearing pajama pants also, they both must have been naked from the waist down mere moments before, but he still felt strange.

Sliding into the bed, Severus too rested against the headboard and made sure he was a safe distance away from his student. He hadn't quite expected this type of morning interaction, perhaps some more embracing and explorations, but not a complete withdrawal and he was experiencing his own anxiety. This was completely out of his cognitive range to deal with, he had never been in this situation, even after all his years alive on the planet and would admit that he was worried about how to proceed. The last thing he wanted was for Harry to feel upset about their play, and he wondered if they'd gone too far. If he had of known his Slytherin wasn't truly ready for this then he wouldn't have gone ahead with their explorations and would've stopped before taking Harry's innocence away.

"May I hold you, Harry?" This distance wasn't really doing anything positive for him, he wanted to embrace the young man.

Shuffling towards his Professor, it felt reassuring to be held, even if it was an awkward side hug as he let his head rest against the man's shoulder. He felt cold, but not externally because of the temperature, it was more complex than that and he instinctively wriggled his way further down the bed so he could curl up into his teacher. Severus felt the change immediately and turned his body towards Harry, sliding down the bed also and collecting the teen with both arms to ensure he felt secure. The hood on the fluffed robe caught in his arm as he brought it around Harry's neck and shoulders; struck with inspiration, he took it and pulled it up over the ravenous brunette locks that seemed perfectly mussed from their activities.

"Does that feel better?" He asked softly, and received a hum in response, "Now, shall we talk about what happened last night?" Continuing to hold Harry close, he brushed his nose through the fluffy tufts along the hood and closed his eyes.

"I feel so cold and empty, like there should be regrets but all I'm feeling is anxious and confused." Harry said honestly, there was no point in hiding how he felt, not when time after time Professor Snape had always been able to alleviate his concerns one way or another.

"Could you equate it to, perhaps say, the loss of something?" Severus fought the anxiety ridden bile rising in the back of his throat at the thought Harry regretted what they did.

"A little bit." Harry admitted, and was given an agreeing hum.

"Harry, that might be because you _did_ lose something last night. We both did. Any thoughts as to what that might be?" Severus wasn't trying to sound like he was mocking Harry, but a gentler tone was apparently what he needed right now.

"Seriously?" Harry deadpanned the man, then he tensed, "Wait, _both_? W-Were yo-ou –" His face flushed at the stuttering, realizing that whilst he'd been buggered by his Professor, they had both been virgins.

"Regardless of homosexual or straight relations, what happened last night was something special to you, and I hope it was acceptable on my part." Severus ignored the emphatic stuttered surprise, feeling his own embarrassment for having just admitted it.

Harry wanted to bury himself, preferably under a mountain of soft blankets and cushions, so no one could see how embarrassed he looked right now, though if he'd paid closer attention to Professor Snape, he would have seen they were equally mortified. Anyway, it had to be that, didn't it? Losing his virginity was what made him feel like he'd lost something, not the physical entity, but a spiritual one and apparently an inanimate thing he held closely. It sounded quite juvenile, something that younger people should be worrying about but not him…

 _I'm technically still a young person though, aren't I?_ It was depressing, but Hermione's words about experiencing things in school rung into his mind at that point and it gave him a bit of perspective. Whilst he was apparently with an inexperienced man, he wasn't a Wizard who wouldn't just going to go off and find someone more interesting – at least not right away – and was a gentleman who cared. Others who were his age would have been going out with friends, presumably hooking up with various people and the thought made him uneasy. There was no doubt that his Professor wouldn't do that, whilst Harry was able to look past the less than sunny disposition of this man who held him safely, he knew others could not. He'd heard it himself, people not understanding and ranting about disgusting, bat-like Professor Snape.

"Are you thinking, or falling asleep?"

Harry let a small murmur of a laugh break through his thoughts, "Thinking. I feel silly now, it's really taken the pressure off."

"Perhaps we should have waited. Explained a few things before we did this."

"I'm not regretting what we did." Harry wriggled, starting to feel too warm with the hood up over his head, "I guess I just felt a little used – " He was cut off suddenly, lightly squawking when he was squeezed.

"Know this, Harry. I would never use you." Severus commented passionately, "This would not have happened if my thoughts about you were only half winded."

Harry's head was brought up at this point and he was able to slide the hood back off his head, finding his gaze looking straight into his Professor's eyes. They were close to each other and it was clear that a kiss was on the cards but neither of them wanting to take that plunge just yet, ensuring they were both secure in their situation before continuing. In the end, it was Harry that took the leap and his eyelids were already half closed when he pressed himself against warm lips for what turned out to be a blisteringly, passionate and loving massage. The tongue that tempted his lips was his undoing, and he wondered if there would be any moment when this would ever be less than blindingly unravelling.

A gentle adjustment in their positions and Harry found himself being rolled onto his back, a knee slipping effortlessly between his thighs and spreading them just enough to sit comfortably there. Both hands were either side of his face, not forcibly holding him down, but guiding him to relax and let Severus take control. He couldn't really resist, well, more like he didn't _want_ to as he caught flashes of their night together as various movements and strokes were rein-acted. Their bodies reacted in kind, building the tension between them, but for Harry it started to crumble around him when he felt a hand brushing down the side of his waist and tensed.

"You not need worry, Harry. I imagine you are extremely tender down there this morning." The deep, resonating voice whispered into his ear and caused a shiver to wrack his body.

Severus paused, pulling back to see his students face and pondered his next move. He doubted they were both ready for another round and in fact, he wasn't sure his body would even let him complete the task as old muscles strained at the odd interval. What they both could do with was a nice hot bath, perhaps continue some explorations and tease one another and hopefully the build-up would allow him to go all out. The tub was certainly big enough for the two of them, and he peered over his shoulder at the bathroom door.

"Bathe with me."

"A bath?"

"I have something that might make the pain a little more bearable for you until it naturally starts to heal."

Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd sat in a bath, let alone _with_ someone – no, the prefects bathroom with Moaning Myrtle didn't count – but here he was being offered one by his Professor. _Who will join me…_ He couldn't help but smile. He knew the tub would be large enough based on his last assessment with being almost dumped unceremoniously into it when he'd cut himself.

"Okay."

 **. . .**

Steam filled the room as Severus prepared the bath, he couldn't even see his reflection in the mirror, which was probably for the best as he could only imagine what he looked like currently. Tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, he checked the temperature and nodded to himself, turning to the vanity and finding a lavender scented bath serum that would ease both of their aches. He would quite happily admit to himself that he hadn't been this happy in years; to think that it was the result of being with an eighteen year old man would have been laughable in the past, but it was his reality now. Sure, Harry was still healing, but so was he and started to recognise that if either of them had a chance to be happy, it rested between what they had developing between them. Push aside his own dramas with housing and his grandparents, his needs were far simpler than material items surrounding him, he just wanted Harry – as the letter from his mother so nobly pointed out.

Sentimentality wasn't going to get him anywhere however, and when everything was prepared, he opened the door into his bedroom and emerged through the cloud of steam. A giggle was heard over by the bed, but he quickly moved on forward and took hold of his young lover, showing a hand and hauling him from the bed. There was a hiss at the sudden movement and without glancing back at the teen, softened his face in a sympathetic wince; he couldn't imagine what it felt like.

The light from within the bathroom showed off Harry's pale skin more clearly and the reddened lips that were evidence of their activities that night. With tussled hair, he looked divine and Severus's body reacted instantly at the thought of a repeat performance. He was no teenager, not young in years, so he fought those primal urges and delicately wrapped his arms around Harry from behind, resting his chin upon one slender shoulder as they both looked down at the inviting water.

"May I take your robe?" Severus asked, his breath tickling Harry's ear.

With a sigh, Harry nodded and closed his eyes when he felt hands at the tie holding it in place. His skin prickled when the cooler air combined with his warmed skin and he took in a short breath when fingers skated across his shoulders, pulling the robe away from him, down his arms and then finally completely off. Forgetting the moment prior when he slipped onto the floor, he hadn't been standing stark naked in front of his Professor before and the blush rose into his cheeks as nervousness and shame had him reaching forward to cover himself in modesty.

"You will get a chill, hop in."

He couldn't have reacted fast enough, but hesitated when he felt a pull from his lower back and in his rear end when skin caught both ways. Wincing, his movements slowed, giving Severus more of a chance to watch the beautiful naked body slipping almost elegantly into his large bath tub. He was left to stand there holding the robe across his arms, but wanted to rectify their positions by joining his student. Harry had moved forward, leaving him enough room to slide in behind him and went to rid himself of the pants he had put on for the teen's own security. He had never been particularly concerned about his appearance when partially clothed, having never had to show it off before or even been in a position to do so; and no, those particular dark Deatheater meetings didn't count.

Harry swallowed as he relaxed under the hot water, he was torn between looking at his Professor undressing and being confronted with a new vision of the naked man, or looking down at the bubbles and ignoring that they were both very naked. His curiosity won out, just as the older Wizard hooked his fingers under the waistband of his bed trousers and felt the rush of hormones when he saw the first hint of a very intimate piece of anatomy. Clothing fell away and Harry was transfixed; sure he'd seen it before but never with the man completely void of any clothing whatsoever. It was ridiculously pleasing on the eye, so much so he was licking his lips, remembering how it had been buried within him the night prior.

Looking away finally, it was only because his Professor was preparing to step into the bath behind him and he quite literally would have had something dangling in his face. Well, dangling was a loose term because it wasn't completely uninterested and he suspected they were both having similar thoughts if their bodies were reacting in the same way. It wasn't long before he was being pulled backwards and safely within the arms of his Professor who was leaning back and taking him too, so they were half reclined. It was hard not to close his eyes and savour the feeling, his head lolling to one side and listening to the steady heartbeat and create so much calm within him.

"It's hard to believe this is actually happening." Harry commented, but he wasn't really saying it to anyone, mainly reassuring himself that it _was_ in action and not some twisted dream.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Weird." Well, it was true.

"Positive weird?" Merlin, Severus thought he sounded like a bloody insecure teenager.

"It's not bad, I just think there needs to be some time to process it. I had sex. Harry Potter doesn't do things like this, it's quite bizarre." Harry rambled.

"Some would very much agree with that statement when talking about people like myself."

"Then perhaps this was meant to happen." Harry reasoned, frowning when he spied the man's left arm just under the water.

 _I wonder… Would he let me?_

It had never occurred to him that night to even look because it had been covered and the man had been very stern about how disgusting it appeared. Would it look like Draco's? He was struck with a curiosity, but paused when he felt the shift from behind him and teeth attaching to the side of his neck. The sensitive skin caused tremors to wrack his body and he stifled a groan that ended up sounding like a dissatisfied grunt.

"Why?" The word was drawn out and filled with need which made Severus smile.

"Because I know you do not want me to stop." He purred in response and felt the teen coming undone in his arms.

"This is… isn't fair… I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing bath?" Immediately the nibbling stopped, and he regretted having opened his mouth, only because he actually didn't want it to stop.

"Are you not relaxing?"

"That wasn't my point." Harry mumbled, adjusting himself and inadvertently stirring the rod that had started developing further at his tailbone.

"I see." He should have stopped sooner than he had, the teens neck looked a right mess and he smirked to himself knowing the marks would be covered by his uniform, and only that for when the other students arrive that afternoon.

 **. . .**

 _ **I know – I know! You probably wanted to read the sexy time but I'm sorry! I shall head to my fortress now and wait out the mod of fiery pitchforks.**_

 _ **Side note, I hope it wasn't too sappy… *goes away to over analyze responses***_


	65. Chapter 65

**.**

 **. . .**

"Harry!" Hermione almost screamed across the main entrance, tearing through the mob of students towards her friend.

Harry beamed when he saw her and opened his arms to catch her, stumbling back at the force of her running towards him. He'd had a rollercoaster of a break with Professor Snape, the past week being the best of the two, but it was so good to see his friends again. Draco was ambling behind her at a slower pace and nodded as way of greeting, but it was clear to Harry that he was a little smug.

"I need to hear everything the two of you did. How did meeting Mrs. Malfoy go?"

"Well…" Hermione grew coy and he noticed them holding hands, "Funny you should ask, because it went very well, didn't it?" She looked to the blonde and he nodded with a smirk.

"Oh, gross guys." Harry winced, looking between them but it was Hermione who suddenly got all embarrassed and Draco could feel her squeezing his hand.

Harry covered his face, shaking it in denial, not wanting to even think about the two of them sharing a bed together, but he was momentarily distracted when he felt something touching his back. Twisting his head, it was his Head of House who spoke an evened, _excuse me_ , as he passed through and Harry stepped forward to let him go. Holding his gaze on the man's form as he continued walking into the Great Hall, he let his own smugness show for a second, before Hermione was shaking his arm to tell him something else.

Draco seemed to be the only one who saw the brief encounter, narrowing his eyes and holding his own gaze towards Harry for a moment, before glaring into the hall. The conversation he'd had with Hermione over Harry's _impressionable_ nature had him wondering if there was a point where he should be intervening. Harry might have said his godfather was retiring at the end of the year, all things considering, but what did that mean exactly? He still regarded the older Wizard as someone who valued his privacy, so, he made it a mission to get to the bottom of what his friend had been up to for the holidays. No detail left out.

"Hermione that all sounds so great, I'm really happy for you." Harry finally said, seeing most of the students now moving and filing into the Great Hall.

Jason greeted them halfway but Harry looked at him warily, before deciding to leave it and continue to a free spot with the Slytherin's. The blonde wasn't far behind, much to Hermione's bemusement, and called after her boyfriend that she'd see him later. When he was sitting, Draco slid beside him, but nothing was said, but if it had of Harry wasn't sure he would have been paying attention because his eyes had found his Defence Professor's and he was keeping the gaze steadily, even over the rim of his goblet of wine.

It wasn't until they were alone in the dormitory, that Draco sat cross legged on his bed and regarded his friend for a moment, noting that he seemed happy. Well, that didn't mean anything really, and he was glad his roommate wasn't on a depressive streak because it brought the whole mood down.

"So, how was your break, _really_?" Draco asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It was good, as I said. Why?" Harry stopped what he was doing and leaned against one of the posts at the corner of his bed.

"Well, just curious. I mean, you managed to land yourself in the paper and were here all by yourself, so, what did you get up to otherwise?" He was fishing, but Harry seemed content in responding with, _just the usual_ , before picking up his towel and toothbrush.

"You know what I'm talking about." Draco finally said, standing and round the edge of his bed, "Professor Snape, did you spend much time with him?"

"Uh, no more than usual, I guess? Well, I did keep him company a few nights when I was studying, and uh – " Scratching the back of his neck, looking at the floor, he paused a moment for effect, "I was a bit of a mess when I got back from the Ministry."

Draco blinked in surprise, "You were?"

"Yeah," Harry sighed, "I'd rather not go into it… Do you mind?"

"No, of course not." Draco nodded, feeling a little silly, "Sorry."

Harry shrugged and then left the room, shutting the door behind him and letting out a breath and dropping his head back against the wood. Was he giving off a signal that would suggest something was going on? Once you had sex, did that give you a different expression? He was so out of his depth here, thinking he was happy one minute and erring on the side of caution the next, he almost couldn't keep up with his own emotions.

Whatever it was that Draco was thinking when they caught up again, nothing further was said and the first day of classes rolled around like any other boring day. One thing that was definitely different, was the dynamic between the three of them and Harry sighed when he found the shared classes with Hermione meant he was sitting by himself. On it's own, not a massive issue, but couple it with the fact that Harry had been through this before, frustrated him.

He was absolutely so happy for his friends, knowing exactly what it felt like to find that person who understood your needs and went out of their way to show that you were important. That's what he found also with Professor Snape, but the fact he couldn't tell anyone, oddly didn't bug him as much as he thought it might. Figuring it had something to do with the fact everything in his life seemed to be documented by one person or another, a secret was good.

Finally, when Harry had Hermione alone one night, she smiled coyly, which was something that happened when she felt completely smitten about something. It had to be pure, Hermione was a strong woman, and he couldn't wait to hear all about it. They found an empty spot at the Ravenclaw table through dinner, and she launched straight into the finer details.

"I was really nervous at first, but I think you knew that." She started, and Harry nodded, "But she was completely different to what we experienced at the old manor. There were the obligatory high tea afternoons and she even invited us to a dinner party with business associates. Harry, the people we saw there…" Sighing off into the ceiling, she trailed off.

"It sounds like a great time."

"It was, but enough about me, what did you get up to? I'm sorry to ditch you at such short notice."

"Don't be sorry, it was completely fine. The break was pretty standard and I didn't really get up to much. Jason and I hung out a bit, but we had a small falling out, I'm not sure if he filled you in on that yet."

"No, I haven't really spoken to him that much. What happened?"

"Do you know about this guy he's seeing?"

"Oh? No, I hadn't heard. Oh wow, he's actually seeing someone?" She asked, then gasped, "It's not you, is it?"

"Ew, no!" Harry reacted violently, then re-answered, shaking his head evenly, "It's a Hufflepuff; anyway I guess he was joking, hindsight says he probably was, but he was implying that I stayed for someone too. It was a bit of a tender spot, what with not _actually_ being allowed to leave here unless a guardian signed me off, and I had a go at him."

"Harry." She chastised, but he simply shrugged.

"I'd just gotten back from the Ministry, Hermione. And what the papers didn't say, _thankfully_ , was that I had a panic attack and demanded Robards' bring me back. Talk about humiliating."

The witch reached across the table and put her hand on top of his, briefly squeezing it to let him know she understood and empathized. From there, they spoke about more about the connections Hermione made at the dinner she had accompanied Draco to, and he admired the way her face lit up whenever she mentioned him. Genuinely happy for her, he smiled along, on occasion looking across the hall to try and catch Professor Snape's eye.

He couldn't wait for his Defence class when the time finally came, and eagerly set himself up, waiting for the man to enter the classroom. Hermione and Draco shared the table beside him, but he didn't let the fact he was alone get him down, especially when their Professor came out of his office, their eyes meeting immediately. Calming himself, he bit his lip and looked down, he still ached from their actions, but it reminded him of a time where nothing else mattered and it was just them, moving together in perfect synchronization. He stole glances through out the class, and when it was time to hand in their research, he had to stop himself from jumping up and being the first to fly across the room because he'd actually already turned it in.

"I have to say, for your examination results, I am disappointed in the majority of students who did less than their best. These tests may not be counted towards your final grades at the end of year, but not taking them seriously might be the difference between a good reference and a great one. Take a long hard look at your efforts and ask yourself if you put in enough time."

Harry frowned, worried that he'd messed up his test result; however his attention was soon taken up by the man going around and handing out the papers to each student personally. This was new, he usually flicked his wand and they all some how managed to be with the correct person. Really though, he should have known it was a rouse, and finding he was the last person to be handed their paper, their fingers brushed against each other and a smirk was sent his way.

With his heart rate spiking at such little contact, he grinned down at his paper, not being able to physically grin harder when he saw he'd achieved a perfect score. Professor Snape wasn't the type of teacher to fudge grades, so he knew and trusted the man to have marked him fairly. Judging by Hermione's reaction, she too was surprised and they compared notes briefly as he leaned over the gap in desks.

Draco was pleased also, whilst not top marks, he had achieved what he set out to do. Now however, he briefly watched his two friends, before taking his time to study their Professor. He was reading through something, but he could also tell that he wasn't _actually_ reading as his eyes seemed to rake over the same lines, time after time. Then, the glance, it was swift and almost unnoticeable, or it would have been if in the few minutes Draco watched him, his godfather had taken the effort to look at no one else but Harry. When a coy smile was sent back across the room to their Professor from Harry, something in his mind clicked.

 **. . .**

 _Harry…_

Grumbling, and tugging away, Harry tried to ignore the pressure on his shoulder.

 _Harry!_

Why was he hearing his name? It sounded urgent, and the jolting on his arm wasn't stopping. Distantly, he took a deep breath, smelling the familiar scent of potions.

" _Harry, wake up."_

No, someone was actually talking to him, and those potions didn't mean he was in the classroom; it was his Head of House. Blinking blearily, he shut his eyes again when he saw the lit end of a wand.

"Mnno, hurry up and get in." He continued to grumble and fluffed around with his sheets, thinking the older Wizard wanted to play again and forgetting school was back for the term.

" _Harry, this is serious, the Headmistress needs to see you."_

Sitting bolt upright, Harry was fully awake, "What's happened?" He croaked, but in the light of his Professor's wand, he saw him shaking his head _and_ fully dressed.

Scrambling up, he was handed a piece of fabric and his wand, before an arm wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him from the room. His feet were cold on the stone as he was rushed through the common room and he worriedly looked at his Professor as he stayed silent.

"Sir, what's going on?"

"Now's not the time."

"You're scaring me." Harry admitted, his voice small and suddenly his wrist was taken, pulling him along.

Stepping on pieces of ragged stone and other dust, his feet felt disgusting by the time they made it up out of the Dungeons, and he yelped at another larger piece of debris he stood on, hopping a couple of times. Wondering why he couldn't have had shoes and something more than his Slytherin robe draped over his shoulders, they finally slowed at the gargoyle leading to the Headmistress's office.

"Sir, _please_ , just tell me." Harry pleaded, but he didn't stop until they were at the open door, finally slowing as they entered.

Professor McGonagall was there, as was the Head Auror Robards, and it made Harry's stomach drop at the sight. He feared the worst, but _what_ that worst was, he had no idea, all he did know was that Professor Snape was back to leading him into the room with an arm over his shoulders.

"Thank you, Severus. Potter." The older Witch greeted them, and instinctively, Harry leaned into his Professor.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on?" Harry snapped, hiding his body in his robe so he could put a hand gently at the curve of his Defence Professor's back unnoticed.

"Potter, I'm sorry to inform you… Grimmauld place has been the target of the arsons next attack. An hour ago, Aurors were alerted to a concentration of magic in the London area, when they arrived, there was nothing left." Minerva felt sick having to tell her student this, and at his paled expression, she knew things would be rough.

 _What?_ Harry thought, void of any ideas.

"Mr. Potter," Robards' spoke next, stepping forward, "I am here to ask if there are any Witches or Wizards that might hold something against you, any enemies?"

Harry, for all that he was shocked, snorted loudly, "You're fucking kidding me?"

Severus tightened his hold on the teen's shoulder to warn him of such foul language, but, conceded silently that it was a genuine reaction. Harry Potter, not everyone's Savior to the Wizarding World, and judging by the dubious expression worn by Minerva, she too thought it an odd question.

"Forgive me, just formalities." Robards' explained, but Severus's eye twitched, feeling bitter for not having had the same treatment, and again, when Severus caught Minerva's eye, she mirrored his thoughts.

"Sir?" Harry turned to look up at his Head of House.

Severus looked over to the Auror, "Corban Yaxley."

"Yaxley? He's a consultant for the department on the areas of Dark Magic – Yes, I understand the stigma of a prior Deatheater in such a position of power; but he is really, very good at his job. Do you have concerns about him?"

" _I_ am a former Deatheater, yet no such courtesies have been provided." Severus snapped.

"Ah, no but you have Minerva who has been looking after your affairs. No, Yaxley is one of my most trusted – "

" _Trusted?"_ Harry and Severus both said simultaneously, making the Auror jump, before Harry continued, "How can you trust that man who killed hundreds? He's got an _Imperios_ on you, doesn't he? That's his specialty. _Professor_!" The teen was looking between the only two adults he trusted, but he could tell their hands were tied.

"Why don't we just calm down for a moment, I'm sure the Auror's are doing their best right now, there isn't a lot we can do to change the fact, Potter, that the house is gone." Minerva chipped in.

"How do I know that the moment you get back to the Ministry, he doesn't wipe your memories and anyone else that might have information on it?" Harry said, addressing Robards.

"Wipe my memory?"

"Yes, that's what happened in every single case, witnesses disappeared, and people's memories cleared. How can _you_ not see that? I bet my life and future career that if you remove him from the cases, things will suddenly become a lot clearer."

Severus was impressed at the manner in which Harry was speaking, underestimating greatly the authority his Slytherin held when he was confident. Some might have found his actions to be stubborn, but he knew the teen was right, coincidences like this didn't just happened. And where was the Minister in all of this anyway? He was surprised not to see Kingsley, he would have thought the Wizard might have made an appearance.

"What do you know of the house?" Harry suddenly asked, his eyes narrowing.

"I don't follow." Robards replied in confusion.

Severus and Minerva, again, shared a look in an attempt to be subtle and one quick glance up at Albus in his frame, showed him leaning back comfortably, stroking his beard. Everyone in the room knew what the question was, but in the silence, it seemed Robards, the _Head_ of Auror's, did not.

"Well, who owned the house before I took it over?"

"I'm not sure what residence – "

"Answer the question." Harry snapped.

Sighing, the Auror seemed to resign himself to interrogation, "The Black family, which was then left to you at the death of Sirius Black."

"And?" The teen prompted, his plan formulating quickly in his head.

"Apologies, is there something I should know here?" Robards was quickly becoming defensive, but not acting irrationally, Harry took a deep calming breath, despite his heart hammering away, and shook his head.

"Forgive, Potter. Sometimes, he struggles with a hero complex and his significance in the Wizarding community." Severus patted Harry's shoulder for emphasis, uncharacteristically not feeling satisfied that he'd made the teen look slightly insane.

"Shock can make us do all sorts of unconventional actions. No problems, I should probably head off and oversee what the department have found and leave you all to get some rest."

"Thank you, Gawain, I'll see you out." Minerva announced, coming down from her desk and giving Severus a pointed look as she passed him.

When Harry was finally alone with his Head of House, he turned into the strong body and tucked himself under the arm, holding himself there for a moment. Severus nuzzled the top of Harry's head, but aware of the other eyes peering in on the situation, he pulled away, much to the pained green eyes that followed this action.

"He doesn't know about it being a safe house, surely after the war he would have known. Yaxley does, he saw it when we were trying to escape from him. It was supposed to be one of the safest houses with dozens of wards, so how does someone just randomly stumble across it?"

"I agree, the only person alive in the Ministry who knows it's true purpose is Kingsley Shacklebolt. Minerva should be able to speak to him about this, see what we can do to further influence the investigation."

Nodding, Harry offered the man a rare smile, one that had him glancing up through his lashes, "Maybe we should both join the department."

"Unlikely." Severus snorted, smirking.

The moment was short lived as Harry's façade dropped away and he appeared unsure and anxious, "What happens now? It's gone. I have _nothing_."

"Well, you _are_ talking to the man who also has nothing." Severus replied quietly, and Harry appeared to have a disappointed but knowing expression.

" _You have me_."

Their moment was interrupted with Minerva coming back into the room and looking irate, slamming the door for good measure and shaking her head. Pausing when she stood in front of her student and colleague and taking in their positions, she pursed her lips and then shot a glance up at Albus, who was nodding gravely.

"The sooner you take over that department, Potter, the better off we will all be." She declared, then took a softer approach, putting a hand on his now free shoulder, "I will personally see to it that something is done."

"Thank you, Professor." Harry said sullenly.

"I suggest you try and get some rest, Potter. Take some time to process this and go to your classes in the morning. Hopefully by afternoon we will have heard something, and if you need to deal with bankers or lawyers, just know you have my full support."

Feeling his head swim, he'd forgotten about how cold his feet were up until he went to shift them and curled his toes up. Severus looked down at noticed the action, wincing when he had neglected to get Harry properly dressed. Well, he wasn't going to be letting Harry go back to bed alone, it was far too early in the morning to be getting up but late enough that neither would get much more sleep.

"Harry?" Albus said from his frame, "Don't get frustrated by the wait. Use this time to grow so you'll be prepared when the door opens."

"Thanks." His tone was clipped, due to his sudden drenching of cold that radiated up from his feet and allowed himself to be shuffled from the room by his Head of House.

 **. . .**

Standing outside the portrait to the Slytherin common room, Harry stopped and started shaking his head, "No, I-I don't want to go back in there."

"And I am not expecting you to stay." Severus replied, speaking the password and dragging his student inside.

When the portrait shut behind them, they hid in the alcove for a moment as he explained his plan to the younger Wizard, instructing him to get everything he would need for the new day. Relief, it was almost palpable from the Slytherin, but Severus could understand completely and shooed him off, deciding to wait where he was.

Sneaking into the dormitory, Harry lit his wand and went about to find the rest of his school uniform, book bag and most importantly, socks. As he rummaged around, there was movement from the opposite side of the room and Draco came into view, frowning.

"What's going on?"

"Go back to bed, I'll see you in classes."

Not feeling up to speaking about it, he grabbed everything and left without another word. When they finally got back to Professor Snape's living quarters, the tension he should have felt from before hit him, and the emotional floodgates opened. He was cold, his feet hurt, his head pounded, and the nausea he felt almost knocked him over.

Setting the things in his bedroom, Severus had him take a seat on the edge of the bed before he went into the bathroom and started turning the taps on for the bath. Just from his angle with the teen sitting on his bed, he could see how uncomfortable he was and knew a nice hot bath would help relax him. There were oils and fragrances just for this, but he decided to go with some gel that created a foamy heaven along the surface of the water.

"Harry, I am running you a bath, there will be no complaints because I can guarantee you will feel a lot better once you are in."

Nodding numbly, Harry shrugged out of his Slytherin robe. Coming into the bathroom, he watched as the man finished up with the bath, mesmerized at the white bubbles that seemed to sparkle every colour imaginable. He wanted to scoff and say that bubble baths were for children, but he couldn't deny, this looked incredibly tempting.

"I mean this with all seriousness, Harry. Are you going to be all right in here by yourself?"

Glancing up he nodded, his face ashen and feeling out of sorts. When he was finally left alone and the door closed, he sighed and took in his tired features. _Who even are you, Harry? What do you have, and what do you want?_ He questioned himself before stripping and getting into the hot water, his feet almost burning in the temperature from freezing to warm. His body melted with ease and he closed his eyes.

He knew his temperature should have started to warm, but aside from feeling the prickling on his skin his core was chilled. Being alone in the room, echoed dangerously close to the impression of being alone in the world and he didn't like it one bit. Wondering what his Professor was doing, he summoned all the energy he could into getting the door to swing open, pleased when he heard the click and groan on its hinges. It seemed the man must have been close, because he called out.

"I don't want to be alone."

His Professor appeared in the doorframe, leaning against it with arms folded and his mood also low. They looked at one another for a moment, before Harry disappeared under the layer of bubbles, holding himself there for as long as he could and emerging once more, hair covering his face. Wiping it away, he looked down at the thousands of tiny reflections in the bubbles, feeling his eyes sting with tears, he knew they wouldn't be seen with the having wet his face.

"If it's not one thing, it's another." Harry finally said, breaking the silence.

"Perhaps, but you cannot let this define you as I have said once before. Life has a way of testing a persons will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once."

"Then who the hell am I?" There was an edge to Harry's voice and he looked at the man with a glare on his face, not particularly directing it at his Professor.

Severus's expression softened as he watched his student having a break down and moved into the bathroom, coming along to sit on the edge of the tub. He wiped some suds off Harry's chin and looked him in the eye, showing his sincerity.

"You are Harry Potter, and at the very least, you are my partner. A little stubborn at times, but confident and proficient with magic, is a great leader and a powerful Wizard." Pausing, he almost winced at his own ridiculously soft comment that was coming next. "What good are wings if you don't have the courage to fly, Harry? "

Harry snorted darkly, "They broke my wings, but I guess they forgot I had claws."

The tension disappeared at this, and Harry played with the bubbles in front of him before taking a shy look up at his Professor sitting close to him. He wanted to get the man in the bath with him, but didn't think it would be appropriate at this time, so remained silent.

"Harry…" His name sounded so delicate from the man's lips and he looked up once more with a solemn expression, "We will get through this. You are not alone."

Getting out of the bath soon after, he was dried and wrapped in a fluffy robe, moping about the bedroom before he just decided to get under the covers. His Professor was out in the living area no doubt, but all he wanted to do was sleep and hope that when he woke up later for classes, this whole situation had blown over. As he settled under the covers and wrapped himself up in the heavenly textures of his robe, he slipped over to the older Wizard's side of the bed and snuggled into the pillow. It made him feel safe and loved, just getting into the man's scent and he felt the knots of anxiety and nausea fading as he relaxed.

He wasn't left alone for long however, and when the bedroom door closed, he lifted his gaze to the man standing at the end of the bed, slowly unbuttoning his black robe, revealing the white from beneath it. The thought occurred that if he pretended to be asleep, what would happen, considering he was fully over on Professor Snape's side of the bed. Almost buried under the covers and his face obscured by the robe, he didn't even think the man knew he was looking until a smirk was sent his way when his Professor went to unfasten his trousers. He had been busted, and rolled onto his back to make some room, pulling his eyes away from the undressing happening in front of him.

"How are you feeling?" His Professor's voice was low and quietly as he lifted the covers, carefully sliding a hand behind Harry's head.

"I feel there is an uneasy sense of foreboding." Harry replied, wriggling against the older Slytherin's chest.

"Try and relax for now."

Nodding, Harry worked a hand down to the knot at his robes tie and pulled it free before he rolled over and straight on top of his Head of House. With his bottom lip between his teeth, he propped himself up with both hands at the man's biceps, then leaned forward, pressing their lips together. His Professor said to relax, well to do that he could think of only one thing and just the thought of it had his body twitching.

"We cannot keep burying our emotions with this kind of activity, Harry. You should get some sleep, it will be a testing day for you."

Hearing the words, but abiding by their suggestions seemingly going in one ear and out the other, he kept kissing and rocked his lower half downward. Whilst experience was sparse, the way his body sung and allowed him to let go of the negative emotions was too much to pass up. Of course, things would only work if his Professor was in the mood for it also, so he knew there was work to do, though even in this process there was an aim that meant no other thoughts could disrupt his mind.

" _Harry…_ "

He hadn't really paid much attention to exploring the man's body further than exciting his core, so when he moved to press his lips against the sharp jaw, moving along towards the ear, he felt the flutter in his chest. And whilst Severus had tasted his student like this, to have it reciprocated caused his own reservations to their activities to disappear.

Instead of his breathy call to warn Harry about their progression, his next breath was encouraging the teen to continue. The conflictions didn't stop until he felt hands on his chest and began roaming, mapping out his abdomen with feather light brushes of fingers and he let a sigh out. Being jostled so late in the evening by the Headmistress, he hadn't had the chance to even get sleep prior to having gotten Harry from his bed and the tension in his shoulders and back were a surprise when he finally relaxed them.

It seemed that his Slytherin was getting more confident with the nature of their relationship, and he soon felt a warm hand freeing him from the soft pajama bottoms he had slipped into. The fact he didn't appear the least bit interested at this point, had him self conscious, but he needn't have worried, as his soft core was fondled and teased. Bringing his own hands up, he skimmed them down Harry's sides from within the robe that had flared out when the teen straddled his thighs, and reached down to take the globes into his palms.

A pleased noise came from the younger Slytherin at this, and their bodies rocked together, getting them stimulated gently. It seemed like a lot of effort, but Severus felt his own unease ebbing away as patience and care was taken in their delicate movements. Each time the slender form above him rolled forward, he could feel the erection growing from the teen, and in turn, he was starting to show interest.

"Sir… I know it's late, but – " Harry's sentence was cut off by a kiss, and Severus ground upwards before he decided to take control and roll them over.

Severus recognized the tone, it was one he'd heard before when they did this, it was a plea for help and release. So that's what he was going to give the teen, as quick as he could make it, because he truly believed Harry needed to get some sleep before the disruption of the morning. The time pressure did nothing for the fact he wasn't entirely ready, but he made sure to press all of Harry's buttons in the hopes he could bring something forward that would be closure in the form of release.

"N-No, _please_ … Not like this." Harry begged, stopping Severus from shuffling under the covers to stimulate the teen that way, which was when he realized he'd created a ravenous monster.

Not that he could really complain however, just the implied notion that he was desired so fully was enough to rouse him to a point where they could indulge in some penetration. It was easy enough to rile his Slytherin and lapped up the disgruntled whines when he pushed himself up so he could get a vial from his bedside table. It was hard not to get completely enthralled by the delicate noises of want and desire as he got preparations underway, and by the time he was fully leaning over his Slytherin, teasing the entrance, he was about ready to lose _himself_ in the heat of the moment.

 **. . .**

Looking at his reflection, Harry knew he looked like crap and it didn't improve his mood to know the papers would have been all over the house fire. There was supposed to be little knowledge about his house, well _his godfathers house_ , but there were ways he didn't know how that reporters were able to get their hands on information.

Oh, how wonderful it was to have his private affairs aired out for the entire Wizarding community to read. He really hated the publicity on his life, especially since now things were supposed to be fine, he wasn't meant to be making front page news after the war. If he did, it would have been congratulating him on making it into the Auror Department, like his page three news headline had during the break. Merlin, that was just under two weeks ago now.

One thing that he thought of as he brushed his teeth, was that he wanted to appear strong, like the whole ordeal didn't bother him. It would have been easy to take the low road and act the victim, but he just didn't want that kind of attention. Professor Snape was competent at hiding the fact he was breaking internally, so he was going to do the same thing.

Hearing his name from the living area, he pulled out his wand, answering back, and running the length of wood through the side of his locks, watching in fascination as they braided neatly in two lines. The man was now informing him the paper had arrived and to brace himself, but as he glared at his reflection, that was exactly what he was doing.

"Read it to me." Harry called back, angling his head the other way to do the rest of his braids.

" – _Property believed to belong to Harry Potter was the next target for the Fiendfyre group, who last night destroyed our Saviours house. A representative from the Ministry has released a statement outlining the casualties belonging to Potter's house was only one, a magical signature belonging to – "_

"Kreacher." Harry growled, his green eyes turning dark in the mirror.

Whilst the elf hadn't been particularly welcoming of him taking over the Black's house, he couldn't deny there had been times where his obedience had been critical in retrieving certain objects and being in the know. But to hear that he had perished in the fire along with all the belongings he had yet to go through, made him feel sick.

"There is not a lot of factual information after that." His Professor said softly, near the bathroom door, but because it was open marginally, the man couldn't see in.

"He didn't deserve that."

"No being, whether creature or Wizard, deserves a fate like that. May I come in?"

Harry turned and pulled the door open, his vision partially blurred by the styled bang that hung over his face. Flicking his head to shift it out of his eyes, the older Wizard was blinking at him for a moment, clearly not expecting to see such a change, and commented on it. Harry, however, felt angered and emboldened with all that had happened, balling both fists as his eyes hardened.

"I've been fighting since I was a child. I'm not a survivor, I'm a _warrior_." His voice was little more than a growl, and his Head of House nodded.

"The Slytherin warrior."

" _Slytherin_ warrior?" Harry couldn't help the smallest of smiles and looked at his reflection again.

"Your hair, it suits you; especially since I can see your face. Not that I am in any way justified in remarking, you could do with a trim."

"You don't like my long hair? Need I remind you we _all_ go through the sticky-up phase?"

"Touché, Mr. Potter." Severus smirked, both of them able to momentarily forget the dramas unfolding before their expressions dropped and Severus indicated they should move into the living area, "I know you are tired, that you are physically and emotionally drained, but you have to keep going. There will be undoubtedly students watching you - "

"I'm ready for it."

"Something I do not doubt. However, you are allowed to be upset, these things are unsettling and unnecessary."

"I'm ready to face the lions den." Harry said softly, lips ghosting over his Professor's for a quick kiss.

"How ironic." Severus remarked, stealing one more kiss before they stepped out into reality.

Even on the walk to the Great Hall, people who had read the paper or heard rumors would stop and whisper to one another, however it wasn't until he reached his destination that he was suddenly the only student people were looking at. Holding his head high, he spied the blonde hair of his friend and immediately went to walk over, however, Hermione intercepted as she jumped up and came crashing into him.

"I've just read about it, how are you? Oh, Merlin do you even know about it?"

"Professor McGonagall informed me last night." Harry replied evenly, looking into her eyes before moving on to sit with Draco.

"It's simply awful, do they have any leads?"

Harry huffed, "You know, for a smart group of people, they're actually rather dumb. Ron will ace the academy training." His tone full of venom, he tried to keep himself in check.

"All right, what do you know?" The Witch said, understanding his attitude.

"Not here." He silenced her, before nodding to Draco, "Besides, I'm seriously pissed off about Kreacher."

Hermione nodded gravely as they came to sit by the blonde and she gave him a solemn look, "He may not have been the happiest Elf on earth, but he still didn't deserve that. Do you think whoever did this knew about him? What about connections?"

"I said – not – _here_." Harry growled, and the Witch visible backed away at his tone.

"Need I ask where you stayed after we spoke?" The blonde had his own wary attitude that Hermione picked up on and frowned at, but not wanting to rock the boat, Harry simply gave him a certain side eye, "Right."

"Are you going to be okay for classes? I'll take all the notes I can for you, and – "

"Look, can we not talk about it please?" Harry snapped, taking Hermione's hand along the table to show he wasn't too angry with her, "I'm going to get this all day, a change of topic would be nice."

Understanding, Hermione leaned over and gave him a less needy hug, before taking a moment think of something to say. In that time, the air grew awkward between the three of them, and when Harry met Draco's eye as he reached for the milk, the teen was watching him with an unnerving expression. Grey eyes didn't move from him, and Harry swallowed, feeling something amiss.

"Oh, I know, Quidditch. You've both got the final this weekend, are you excited?"

Draco and Harry tore away from the shared gaze that turned more like a glare towards the end and both nodded, "It should be a good battle." Harry mused, looking past Draco and seeing the red accented robes behind him.

"Speaking of which, we're going to have practice tonight, Harry. Are you okay to be there?" Blaise interrupted as he slid in next to Draco.

"Of course, I'm not in the mood to be sulking, I'm too angry."

Everyone could understand, not that they'd had something similar happen to them, but he appreciated the distance each of them showed to the topic at hand. Naturally, being wound up during the morning and with adrenaline starting to wear off when it came to Potion's, he knew his magic would make his potion unstable but it wasn't like he could just skip the class…

"Harry, I must insist you step away from the cauldron bef – " Professor Slughorn hadn't the time to continue his suggestion before the explosion covered both he and Harry in the black sludge his concoction had bubbled into.

Grumbling, Harry held his arms out and peeked down at the rest of his uniform as he dripped in black slime, which smelt disgusting. It was through his hair, on his face and covered mostly the front of his robes; Professor Snape was going to be so mad at him this evening, he could just hear the berating now as he sat on the couch looking sullen.

"You are excused, Harry. The rest of you continue quietly whilst I quickly change." Their Professor said in the silent room.

Hermione appeared to be wincing at her friends state, and Draco almost mirrored her expression. The Gryffindor's however, well they were in their element and Cormac could be heard chortling away in his corner. Harry didn't dare look in their direction, he thought he could already feel humored blue eyes on him, almost daring him to say something. Leaving his bag with Draco, he slowly set off for the Slytherin dorms so he could refresh his robes, but he would be going without his outer black one for now.

Draco and Hermione shared a look across the table once their friend had left and the Witch soon found her boyfriend shifting around the edge so they were closer, "I suppose we can't blame him."

"Realistically he shouldn't have been a target, right?"

"Who knows, Draco." She sighed, but knowing that Harry knew more about the situation than the papers had let on, it would still be a while until they sat down and spoke.

What she found strange was his reluctance to talk about it in front of his housemate, and it begged the question; their Defence Professor had been attacked, and other suspected followers, _now_ Harry? She definitely had her suspicions, but for now she remained quiet and finished up the rest of her potion.

Harry was straightening up his tie, sitting on the edge of his bed when a bout of the shakes hit him hard. He hadn't been alone since he'd heard about his godfathers house, and now… The reality of it all was like a thick oppressive blanket, sucking what little joy he had in his life. What was he going to do when he finished school now? Where was he going to go? Banks and lawyers – when did he have to deal with them and _where_? Was this going to mean another trip into Diagon Alley or would he stay in the castle? If he had to leave, who would escort him?

So many things wrapped around his head, that he simply fell backwards onto the mattress and stared at the canopy. He now officially had nowhere to go, and until he spoke to whatever bank officials or insurance people, or whoever it was he had to talk to, there was nothing certain about his post graduation life. The only belongings he had were stashed away in his trunk or spread between his dormitory, Professor Snape's quarters and the contents of his vault at Gringotts. How depressingly sad was that?

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, actually, he'd fallen asleep for a little while and had missed his next class, so when looking at the time, he was blindingly aware that he was currently missing his Defence class. Just another thing his Head of House could use against him that night when they saw each other, but why wait for the evening, he could just get it over and done now.

Severus was standing in front of his desk, reading a section of their assigned textbook with a monotonous voice when something caught his eye at the door. He had been sporadically glancing at the desk Harry would sit at during the lesson, unsurprised to see the teen absent and not even disappointed when Horace had caught him at lunch about the unfortunate explosion. However, now he was glancing at the door and looking straight into sad blue eyes of a wolf.

"Continue reading silently, I will return momentarily." He put the book down on his desk and raised an eyebrow at the students to ensure they had listened.

Hermione caught the look before anyone else did and had seen what had their Professor stiffly but eagerly stalking out the door and shutting it behind him. Once outside, Severus knelt in front of his student and placed a hand on the course grey fur of Harry's head, rubbing downwards and running his fingers around the back of his ears. A gentle whimper was heard in the silent corridor and the man thought he could feel the physical pain in his heart, knowing exactly how the teen was feeling but knowing he really couldn't do anything about it.

"If it doesn't rain, it pours." Severus commented, showing his understanding of the events that were unraveling, "You do not have to be in classes this afternoon. However, in your absence, I would like you to go into my rooms and stay there until _my_ classes have finished. The choice is yours."

Harry thought about it for a moment, and confusion was ebbed away by the calming realization that he wasn't in trouble by his actions throughout the day and was going to be excused for the remainder of his responsibilities. He knew there was no sense in hiding however, it would only give people a reason to talk about him, but knowing full well his eyes were red and face blotchy from crying himself into an exhausted nap, they would gossip regardless.

Instead of taking the man's suggestion, he took a cautious step backwards, feeling the hand fall away from his neck and transformed back into his human form. Casting eyes down, he was granted the warmth of a hand on his shoulder as comfort. It would be the best thing he could have at this moment, standing in the corridor meant a lot of witnesses and more cause to spread rumors about the _heartless Defence Professor showing emotion_ , so he gave the man what he wanted and glanced up through his damp lashes.

"We will get you through this. One day at a time, one _step_ , if that is what it will take. Do you understand?"

"Ye-es, sir." Harry croaked out, and was given a tight smile in return.

Following his Professor inside, all eyes darted to him and he sunk into the place behind Draco. The teen still had his bag, which he was grateful for, but also felt guilty that he'd been carrying it around for the past few hours. Whatever had been causing tension between them from the morning seemed to have disappeared and he found Draco giving him a sad smile before turning back to the textbook in front of him. The class was obviously reading, and Harry was quick to get his textbook. About to ask either of his friends for the page, he found the blonde twisting round and slipping him a note.

 _Page six hundred ninety six, you haven't missed anything._

Sighing with slight relief, Harry smiled down at the note and folded it in half, scribbling a quick, _thanks_ , before flipping to the correct page. Of course, he wasn't able to fully concentrate on the content and would have to read it later for full effect, but he figured actually turning up to class would make a world of difference somehow. He wasn't blind to the stares, from everyone, but he tried to ignore them for the most part and hid his face by propping his forehead with the heel of his palm.

Feeling something hit his head some time later, he glanced down at the floor and saw a piece of screwed up parchment. Frowning with heavy, tired eye lids, he glanced up and over to the other students only to find Cormac smirking at him evilly. Swallowing his anxiety, he went to pick it up with sagging shoulders, knowing it couldn't be good whatever it was. Professor Snape was now reading to them, and Harry doubted the man would let this slip if he'd actually seen it, so resigned himself to being on his own.

Deep down, he knew opening the parchment was going to be a bad idea, so there was no answer for why he did it, but to see an animated house with flames coming out of the windows seemed to trigger a deep growing anger immediately. Recalling the nightmare he'd had over the term break of his wayward fire engulfing not only his body, but Professor Snape's, he felt that broken soul coming alive with a power he associated with his fight response and made eye contact with Cormac.

"You think this is funny?" He snapped, disregarding everyone else in the room and interrupting Professor Snape, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Harry could see some of the smugness and colour draining from the Gryffindor's face, but he was resolute in making an example of the teen because this was just ridiculous. An Elf had died, _Muggles_ could have been put at risk, and all Cormac could see was the opportunity to bully him. It should have struck him earlier, but no one really knew what it was like to live in the shoes of Harry Potter, and perhaps he should have run away rather than face Voldemort, that way people would have something to complain about rather than shoving it all back in his face.

"Mr. Potter, please refrain from using such foul language in my classroom. Mr. McClaggen, report to the Headmistress this evening, you have lost Gryffindor ten points."

Their Professor then continued teaching from where he'd stopped reading and Harry looked down at the animation, letting the rage fill him. He let his angered green eyes drift to the other side of the classroom, but instead of Cormac, he found Ron already looking at him and sneered. In hindsight however, he would have noticed that his ex-friend was concerned rather than humored.

 **. . .**

 _ **I can already see you're going to hate me for the next chapter…**_


	66. Chapter 66

**.**

 **Sorry for the delay in updating. Admittedly, I've had this done since the last update but it's just been finding the time to properly sit down and proof it.**

 **. . .**

"How is he coping, Severus?" Minerva asked comfortably from behind her desk.

Having taken a seat opposite her, Severus sighed and shook his head, "Not well. Unfortunately, he is struggling to keep focus in his classes and certain individuals are making it harder for him to feel safe. I do not wish to admit it; however, he may have reached his breaking point."

Severus was concerned, rightfully so, but the calm manner in which he spoke about his Slytherin struggling worried him just as much. He trusted the teen not to explode like he had previously, certain intimate sessions were something that seemed to put him in a better frame of mind, but Severus was not a fool to know masking the pain wasn't going to get them anywhere. There was more frustration at himself for allowing it to happen, sure Harry had things in place and a stronger mind now than when he first sat down with the brunette, but… There was something he just couldn't put his finger on, and it was this that had him speaking now.

"And what of earlier this year? What do you suppose that was in terms of a mental break?" Minerva asked with a gentle frown.

"I believe that is merely what it was, a mental break. This is far more than that and I worry that he is going to do something unpredictable. Certainly, you would know him just as well for these outbursts, completely stubborn and reckless, does not stop to think how his actions will affect others – "

"Severus, if I may." Albus called down from his portrait, and the other two glanced up at him.

"Forgive me, Albus, but there is nothing you can do in this situation that would make it any better." Severus snapped, feeling _himself_ getting uncharacteristically wound up.

Just then, the tension was broken when Kingsley stepped through the flue network, announcing his arrival and apologizing gently for the delay. _Typical Ministerial meetings_ , the man had lamented, walking up the steps, unaware of the argument that had been about to break through seconds prior.

"Nonsense, we appreciate you making the trip." Minerva commented, smoothing down her robes and indicating he should sit, "I suppose we shouldn't waste more of your time. What do you know?"

The Minister politely sat and nodded gravely, "I wish there was evidence to support the notion that Corban Yaxley is part of these attacks, but there doesn't appear to be anything connecting him. Without getting intrusive and showing he is under investigation, that's as far as we can go. Now, Head Auror, Gawain Robards is a firm advocator of Yaxley's position, and without his buy in this is where my involvement stops."

Severus sat there with a stern expression marring his brow and causing it to furrow in thought. It seemed impossible to him, Yalxey was a Deatheater, why would he be granted any type of reprieve from his crimes and allowed to work in the Ministry? Malfoy had been imprisoned, locked away for mere here-say, there was far more in the long list of felonies for Yaxley, and yet somehow, they all disappeared.

"I cannot accept that." Severus finally said and noted with interest that Kingsley nodded in agreement.

"You are more than welcome to make your own inquiries." The Minister replied, and Severus noted that glint in his eye anywhere, it was permission to look into it even though he himself turned out to know nothing.

"Severus, this is something we will need to discuss further." Minerva commented, getting frustrated with the testy attitude that had been brought into the meeting, "Kingsley, we appreciate your efforts into having a look. Whilst disappointing, we can at least eliminate him from our dangerous suspects and move on."

Severus's eye twitched at the mere suggestion that Harry was in any less danger than he had been before, and if he was reading the situation correctly, then he would be even _more_ strict on his Slytherin being out alone, without an escort or protection. Perhaps they were looking at this wrong, Yaxley could simply be a pawn in something much larger. Whichever it was, there was still an issue that Harry was once again unsettled, and he had nothing to go back to his student with.

"I wouldn't discredit his threat _; personally,_ I believe there should be caution around his presence. As Minister however, there is nothing concrete that can link him to these attacks."

"Oh, dear." Minerva finally clicked to what Severus had originally thought and looked slightly stricken once more, "Well, let me think on this and perhaps we can organize to have an Auror or two on the grounds to ensure the students safety."

Shacklebolt left soon after this, and the tension rose once more as Minerva took to standing over by the window and staring out at the picturesque landscape below. Severus made the move to stand, he was going to leave and let the conversation drop for now until they could objectively speak on it more. Currently, he wanted to know where Harry was and tell him not to let it get to him, but knowing the teen, it was easier said than done.

Albus, who had been patiently remaining silent in his frame thought this a good time to make good on what he was going to say previously, and without invitation, spoke clearly in the silent room, "Severus, you of all people should know that a man with nothing to lose will stop at nothing to win."

At this, said Wizard stopped with his foot poised above the first stair, "I am aware." And then continued until he was at the door, _and I will do everything in my power to ensure Harry knows there is everything to lose_ , leaving the rest unsaid.

 **. . .**

Harry was in the Room of Requirement, standing in front of a large mirror with the paper clipping of his Godfathers house in flames. Usually, he would have no quarrels about storming the Ministry to seek justice, but this time was different; unable to pinpoint which part _was_ , he took to staring at the animated clipping and letting the emotions simmer beneath the surface. Was losing his family to a war not enough? What more did he have to lose aside from his two friends and Severus? There wasn't a lot, there was no future… There was only now and how he felt.

Reaching up to the mirror that shimmered against the stone wall, he used a wordless sticking charm to tack it in place before stepping back and taking stock of himself. Skinny, pale, pathetic… There wasn't anything special here, nothing anyone would particularly miss. Well, there was obviously something, but he would need to ask his Head of House, and there was no way he would.

The creaking of the large wooden doors alerted him that someone had come inside, the reflection showed him it was Hermione and she smiled at him sadly. Immediately taking him into a hug when she was in front of him, he relaxed into it for a moment before closing his eyes to block out the tears.

"No one thinks any less of you, Harry. I hope you know that."

"I'd believe it if I saw it." He sniffed, then extracting himself from her hold.

"You need to open your eyes then, the people that matter are right here with you, and if you need proof of that I can send a Patronus to call a meeting here."

"That's really not necessary."

"I don't think that was a no," She smiled, and pulled out her wand in preparation when Harry looked alarmed and conceded, "That wasn't so hard was it? Now, tell me what you know and why in Merlin's name you don't want to say it in front of Draco."

At this they sat; surprisingly the story came out more easily than he thought it might and in hindsight he felt at ease speaking to Hermione about it all. There was something different about the way she explained her own theories and didn't immediately jump up to say he couldn't do something, which was how he felt a lot of the time with Professor Snape.

"It's not that I don't trust Draco with this, but Deatheaters aren't something we talk about."

Hermione nodded, "He showed me his mark over the break, it sort of looks like a mangling of scar tissue now, but it seemed to be a really tough thing for him. So… What are we going to do about _your_ situation?"

"We? No, there's no _we_ in this, Hermione. I'm not even sure if there is anything I _can_ do."

"Of course there is. Look, we just need a plan and – " Stopping herself and snorting, she closed her eyes and threw her head backwards.

"Plans. Right." Harry smirked.

"Okay, okay," The Ravenclaw calmed herself and fanned the flushing of her cheeks gently, "An idea of what you might like to do. Does… Did Sirius ever say whether you had possession of the house? That could be a significant piece of information here, because if it's in your name then you're the target. If it was still under the Black's family name, then you might not have been the intended Wizard."

"But Yaxley saw me, he saw _us_ heading there. That can't be a coincidence."

"Perhaps not, but until you know for sure, there's still the possibility. When are you going to get in contact with the bank?"

"I'm not even sure what I need to do." Harry sighed, "I should probably ask Professor Snape. Professor McGonagall mentioned lawyers but I wouldn't even know the first thing about sourcing one."

"She should know, what with working with various departments in the Ministry, she must have a contact there for you. Actually…" Hermione trailed off, then suddenly looked alarmed, "You haven't heard anything from them have you? The bank?"

"No? It was the Head Auror that came to inform me." Harry replied with a somewhat confused expression.

"Don't you remember when Professor Snape had this happen? He disappeared immediately, _and_ for a few days. What did he do?" Hermione asked with a renewed excitement.

"I don't know, went to the bank and stayed with Mrs. Malfoy, I suppose? We didn't really talk about it."

"They must have contacted him straight away, one would assume, so why has no one contacted _you?_ "

Blinking for a few seconds, the penny dropped and Harry sat up a little straighter, his face paling and worry working into his organs. He _had_ been the target, no question. It was unsettling to say the least, but this was at least something concrete that he could go to someone with, or at least act as the basis for his own investigations. He had of thought that after the war, everyone within the Ministry would have their lives turned inside out and scrutinized so people like Yaxley couldn't get in… Unfortunately, it seemed like the lessons hadn't been learnt.

"So, it wasn't my house." He shrugged, starting to deflate, "Oh Merlin… Graduation! Everything's just fallen apart, _you –_ "

"Please don't worry about me, Harry. I have ways of finding somewhere to go, and besides you never know what Draco and I could be doing by then."

The comment was said, and Harry knew deep down it wasn't a dig at his position but that's exactly how it felt when the words cut him. Hermione had options, regardless of the fact she was in a similar situation to him, she had a contingency plan that yes, might have consisted of his new close friend, but stung him knowing that even if Professor Snape was to retire at the end of the year, neither of them had a place of residence. The short of it was, _his_ contingency now needed a contingency of its own.

Not feeling much better about the state of things after Hermione had spoken with him, he entered the Great Hall with less confidence than when he'd first found out about the attack. Now that it was the end of the week, people were moving onto better topics such as the Quidditch final in the morning and Harry tried his hardest to focus on it but admitted he was having difficulty.

Practice hadn't been much better and after nearly knocking himself out on the bleachers _, again_ , Blaise had ordered him to take a rest and prepare mentally for the weekend. Easy enough task in theory, but as he trudged between the tables to sit with his housemates, his anxiety started to kick in as he thought anxiously about not trying to disappoint his house. _Youngest Seeker of the century_ , they used to say, _rising star amongst the ranks of even the best Quidditch professionals_ , others had touted, but at the end of the day, when his mind wasn't in it, he was rather a crap player. A homeless, crap player.

"Are you going to be okay for tomorrow, Harry? If we need to, I'll put Draco in as Seeker so you don't have to play." Blaise made a point of saying that night when they were getting ready for bed.

Thinking about it, Harry knew he should hand over the reins and sighed loudly as he sat cross legged on his bed. Draco wasn't in the room at this point, so he knew there were no pressures with the blonde listening intently to the conversation. However, there was going to be a point when a decision was going to be needed, and in _that_ moment, he didn't want to be in the same room as these two as he made a choice. If he wasn't going to play, he didn't want to be near either of them for his own dignity than anything else. That was why he decided to bolt from the room before his housemate made it back to save the awkward questions and instead sought out the one man who might be able to make that decision for him.

"No, you should not play."

Harry was sitting on the couch, partially pouting because he realized hearing those words made him want to do the complete opposite, "But – "

"You asked, and I have spoken. What you do with it is now up to you."

He was done thinking, he didn't want to worry about it right now, and he certainly didn't want to be sent back to his dormitory when he was feeling so self-loathing. Regardless, he thought about plans, he really needed to have one because his mind was all over the place. He needed focus and a clear path to follow, so would Professor Snape be able to give him that right now?

"I feel so lost and… confused." Harry finally admitted, he had been null of saying it outright when he'd been here earlier in the week.

Severus empathized, he too having felt like this and patted Harry's knee, "You are allowed to feel that way. However, if you intend on not heeding my advice and decide to play in the final tomorrow, you _must_ _not_ allow yourself to wallow in this confusion."

"How did you get by it?"

"Not easily, I can assure you. Especially not when I have grandparents who wish to enter my life."

Harry tensed and looked the man in his eye, "You've heard from them?"

"Yes."

"What? When?"

Severus gave the teen a softer smile than he usually gave and ran his palm along the edge of Harry's jaw, "This morning. It was rather extensive in what they had to say, and not something I wish to dwell on at present."

"It would be better than talking about me for a change." Harry muttered, and as he tucked his head into the juncture of Professor Snape's neck, he heard the gentle rumblings of a chuckle.

"You are far more important than I am, Harry. There is more you have to experience in this life, one of which would be playing the final Quidditch game of your schooling career."

Frowning from his position, Harry played with one of the buttons on the man's black robe, "You've never cared about Quidditch before."

Humming, Severus agreed, but he couldn't deny that watching his Slytherin warrior up there winning games was certainly a wonderful sight to behold. He didn't want to tell the teen no and then explain why, he didn't need to be worried about another threat out there besides Yaxley when there was enough turmoil happening deep within. Instead, he steered the question away from him and put it back onto his student.

"It sounds like you don't want to miss out, then again, you'll always do the opposite of what I say. If you are going to play tomorrow, as I said, you _must_ be ready for it."

"Then help me forget tonight!" Severus blinked as Harry's dark hair came into view before tired green eyes locked with his, "Reassure me that everything is going to be okay, that you're going to look out for me, protect me. I'm so tired of being strong, I don't want to fight anymore but I'm so confused as to how I can stop. It's all I've ever known."

Tears started to gather and Severus found himself nodding. Harry was a man, he was grown and mature enough to take care of himself, but a Wizard who had been forced to grow up quickly when faced with a predicament like this, was bound to feel out of sorts and exhausted. Deep down, he knew Harry needed someone more emotionally and physically mature to take on the role of a caregiver, knowing that he'd never had that growing up. However, the reality of putting them in such a position had compromising effects that could affect future situations.

"Very well." Severus confirmed, before leaning forward and giving the teen a kiss, "I want you to get ready, and when you are in bed I will join you."

Harry's eyes flickered with something he couldn't identify immediately, which preceded the nod after which his student stood, still sniffling, and went into the bedroom. Baring witness to the trials his Slytherin was going through, made his own seem unimportant and manageable, something that he was going to use when it came to learning about his own family.

Yes, his grandmother had reached out to him and he'd received the owl that morning, most flamboyantly at that. The snow white owl had landed rather graciously in front of him and seemed to have a silver lining embellished within the feathers of its wings. The letter had been long, outlining various ideas that he was to think about and situations where they would like to meet him. An invitation had been extended to join them for dinner and it appeared they had a residence in Britain, something even Narcissa hadn't been privy of just yet obviously.

At the root of it, it had been the fire at Spinners End that had prompted the contact, his mother, even from the grave, was still helping him through life. After all these years, his mother cared about his well being, and it made him wonder what else she had foretold of his future. There had to be a very good reason why she was reuniting him with the family that had chucked her aside like she was nothing. Regardless, it was something he could focus on later, right now he had a sad Slytherin in his bed that needed taking care of.

 **. . .**

Much to Harry's frustration, his Professor had refused to have sex, and instead tortured him into exhaustion, not even bothering to pleasure himself in the process. The guilt he felt at this was a reprieve from his own bigger issues, not that they weren't still in the back of him mind but focusing on Professor Snape was better than the alternative.

He was currently being held from behind, and his body felt relaxed as he wriggled back against the man's chest and groin. The deep sigh as a result had him smiling, and the hold tightened quickly as the older Wizard woke properly from his slumber. Despite what had been happening, Harry felt well rested and when he looked at the wall in front of him, he was resolute about playing the game today. He may never play Quidditch again after this, might not even tempt getting on his broom, and to wipe the floor with Gryffindor was going to give him satisfaction. Or so he hoped.

"I'm going to play." Harry announced, even though his voice was croaky, and felt the pressure of lips at the nape of his neck.

"Very well, you should get ready if that is the case."

Harry shuddered at the man's voice, it was ridiculously arousing in the mornings when he too rasped out his comment and the reaction his body had was immediate. This relationship had awoken something deep within him, that left him both satisfied and frustrated in equal measures, he wanted a repeat of the night and this time give his Professor as good as he gave.

Unfortunately, Professor Snape was being difficult, and pouting he was pushed into the mattress and ordered to take a bath before the game. As much as Harry tried to organize his Head of House joining him, the man had disappeared into the living room by the time he was slipping into the hot water and found himself leaning his temple against the side of the tub as he waited for the Wizard to return.

Severus was almost barreled over by Evan when he stepped into the living area, and in his beak was a letter. Not having the best track record with written correspondence as of late, he hesitantly unraveled it and noted it was from Minerva. She had been called to the Ministry for the day and he was to step into the role in her absence. Whilst inconvenient, he was happy she had employed the assistance of key order members to come into Hogwarts and oversee the safety of all students in the Quidditch game. Kingsley had also ordered a couple of trusted Auror's to assist, which was odd, but he took it as a gesture of good will in light of the recent events.

Harry was sitting sullenly in the bath tub when he knocked on the door and saw it was ajar, the teen twisting around to look at him worriedly, clearly having sensed something in his changed mood. He shook his head however and knelt at the baths edge, making his intentions clear and kissing his student on the top of his messy hair.

"What do you intend on doing with this scraggly mop?"

" _Scraggly mop_? It's beautifully disheveled don't you know." Harry huffed, but the shine in his eye betrayed the stern tone.

"Would you mind showing me the charm you used for the braiding?"

Blinking and sitting up, Harry cocked his head, "Why?"

"Because I would like to fix it for you this morning. You asked me to look after you, this is all part and parcel of that service."

Surprised, but happily so, Harry told him the incantation and the general movement to which his Professor seemed to grasp relatively quickly before leaving the bathroom all together. Seeing his cue, he finished up and wrapped himself in the bathrobe that was now quickly becoming _his_ when he stayed and found his Head of House in the living area with a hearty breakfast awaiting him.

"An elf is fetching your Quidditch gear, I thought it appropriate to get yourself ready here this morning. Your fellow housemates do not need to know where you stayed last night, though Draco will most likely hazard a guess."

"He knows I stayed here the other night…"

"And you did so for good reasons. If he starts to question you, send him to me."

Nodding, Harry sat down adjacent to the older Wizard and gently put his hand over the larger, slender one before helping himself to food. If he never had to go back to the Slytherin common room, he would be very happy, and the feelings of safety and security within the solid walls of Professor Snape's quarters returned in full force. Yes, he could get through the day, there was a level of balance now and as he chewed absently on his piece of bacon, he imagined the glint from the Golden Snitch firmly in the palm of his hand.

 **. . .**

Safe to say, there was inquisition when Harry made it to the Slytherin change rooms under the Quidditch Pitch, but he waved Draco off with a smile and went to his assigned locker to slip into his dragon hide protective gear and gloves. Whilst he did this, he thought about the comfort and gentleness of Professor Snape, the man sure was surprising him a lot lately, but the overriding realization was how patient the man was being with him, and how it contrasted to their prior years of knowing each other.

"Attention everyone please."

Whipping his head around suddenly, Harry came face to face with said man and frowned when he saw that the Gryffindor house was trailing behind him. Immediately up on his guard, he stood next to Draco and Blaise as the Gryffindor team came to stand _with_ them and all attention was on the Slytherin Head of House.

"Due to recent activity outside of Hogwarts wards, the Headmistress has made the decision to maintain a certain level of security in her school. For this reason, we are not cancelling the match, rather heightened security will ensure the safety of you all during the game. Should you, at any moment, feel unsafe please report to Madame Hooch who will act accordingly. Any questions?"

Harry could feel a couple of the Gryffindor's looking at him, especially Ron, but he refused to acknowledge their presence and simply maintained a calm exterior, knowing Professor Snape would appreciate the effort. There was only one question asked, _where is Professor McGonagall_ , and it turned out she wasn't in the school at all, which _did_ make Harry's stomach twist mildly but he choked it down to being nerves for the final game.

"Potter, a word please."

Being summoned by his Head of House, he ducked through the crowd of mingling students and stood by the wall, "Sir?"

" _Are you wearing the pin?"_ Severus whispered, aware of prying ears.

" _Of course. You told me never to – "_

" _Good. Focus on the game_." The man cut him off, but Harry didn't dwell on it and in the distance he could see Arthur Weasley standing at the entrance leading to the pitch. "Good luck, Slytherin." His Professor then announced, going over to the other man.

"Come on, Slytherin. Gather round." Blaise called.

Meeting for the huddle, Harry couldn't help but wonder if there was something more going on. Mr. Weasley didn't just turn up out of the blue like that, and with them standing there speaking in hushed tones, glancing at him every so often, he knew it was about him. However, Professor Snape told him to focus, and so he would.

The sun was out today, though it wasn't particularly warm, and the wind hit Harry's face brutally as they took to the sky. Doing his laps, he could spot various familiar faces who he deemed to be Auror's that were hovering just outside of the pitch and frowned. Taking a slower approach as he whipped around the towers of families, teachers and other notable characters, he noticed George with his bright orange hair and did a double take.

He was in the process of turning around to go back and see if his eyes weren't deceiving him, when he saw Bill in the next tower. Blinking and shaking his head, he flew towards the center of the pitch where everyone was congregating and shot a fierce glance at the main tower where he knew Professor Snape would be and found the man watching him.

There was a little anger and resentment he felt, if the Weasley family were here, that meant the Order had been reinstated and the fact he hadn't been told sat uncomfortably with him. The Order, the _Order_ , had something happened or was this purely cautionary? His mind started racing, as did his heart, at the implications but instead of getting ahead of himself he dug one hand into his Quidditch robes and pulled out the Slytherin pin his Head of House had mentioned. Closing his eyes and bringing it to his lips, he made a silent commitment that he would get through this game unscathed before making his stubborn outburst erupt later when he went to see the older Wizard.

Severus was watching Harry, everything the teen experienced was like watching an open book and he could tell there was betrayal in the dark gaze he was given when finally in position. What was he supposed to do? There was a threat, regardless, and the Headmistress had been the one to instate it. He didn't believe there was much of a threat to Hogwarts per say, but it didn't hurt to make sure everyone was safe.

Unfortunately, his Slytherin _was_ distracted, and he was looking around halfheartedly for the Snitch no doubt when it almost smacked him right in the face. It seemed to knock some sense into him and shooting off after the golden ball, green eyes were laser focused. Severus wasn't too invested with the action, his eyes were mainly on Harry and the surrounding area to make sure nothing suspicious occurred.

"Ooh, Zabini took a hit – but _no!_ It looks as though Weasley has saved the points. Damn, Slytherin have got their work cut out." Jordan Lee was on the commentary once more, "Potter has his eye on the Snitch, it's looking tough today."

Not really having paid attention to Quidditch so carefully before, Severus didn't know if the mindless circle Harry was being led on was particularly normal, but he was soon more focused on the one-handed battle between both Seekers as they rounded another loop. Frowning, he could see Harry's lips moving, as if talking to the Gryffindor and pursed his lips.

"Just fucking stop for a minute." Harry was screaming at the top of his lungs, trying to get a handful of red and gold robes in the process.

"No, this game is ours! You're not going to win this, Potter!"

Grunting and knowing he'd get himself a foul, Harry kicked out his leg and caught the foot holds of the other Seekers broom to make them spin out, but not enough for him to crash out. The whistle didn't blow however, and Madame Hooch was looking in the opposite direction, much to the chagrin of every Gryffindor who saw the action. Unconcerned, Harry flew over to the other Seeker and held onto the end of the broom.

"What's your problem, Potter?"

"Can you not see this? How long have you been playing Quidditch for? The Snitch has been duped – _look_ at it." Pointing up into the sky, they took a moment to register that the golden ball was making its way in steady circular motions above them.

"What about it? I'm going to win this for Gryffindor and you're going to be nothing. I'll happily look down upon you from the pedestal when I hoist the Quidditch cup!" And with that, the teen shot off into the sky.

Harry chewed his lip, Professor Snape said that if anything was amiss, he should tell the referee, but what if it really was nothing and the Snitch was glitching out? He already had a target on his back, and deep down he should have taken his own advice, the gut instinct to tell someone that something was wrong. However, he didn't and seeing the Gryffindor catching up to the oddly quicker Snitch, he too decided to just get on with it and play the game. There wasn't ever a moment he remembered where playing Quidditch felt like a chore, but this game certainly felt like it was.

"The Snitch is in sight once more – _Oooh_ , good save from Malfoy against Weasley – are they – _they are_ , Slytherin _score!_ "

Severus sat comfortably on the bench, nodding with satisfaction as Slytherin took a good lead of Gryffindor. He knew Minerva would be disappointed, whilst she played the role of Headmistress well, there was no denying she still had close ties with the house. Well, who wouldn't right? He still regarded his Slytherin's closely even though he was deputy.

"Potter, hurry up!" Draco yelled as both Seekers hot past him when another point was scored for Slytherin, the game was tough and the Chasers were all being beaten up well on both sides as they fought to keep control of the game.

 _I am_ , Harry thought as he rounded the pitch once more and the Snitch bolted up into the sky and through the clouds. Grumbling and pulling hard up on his broom, he too disappeared into the clouds to chase it. Severus was on the edge of his seat, not having eyes on his student made him all the more alarmed, but they weren't gone for long and soon emerged, weaving between the stands and zipping through their own goal ring.

 _Come on, Harry_ , Severus thought, seeing how he was so close to catching the golden ball. With a shot of unseen energy, the Gryffindor was right beside him and edging forward as the Slytherin fought hard to flatten himself against his broom. However, something changed in the air and he saw Harry looking ahead of where they were headed. The teen then kicked out, pushing the Gryffindor with what appeared to be all his strength, before wobbling in his own path as they neared the lowest ring out of the three goals.

Wincing in preparation for a nasty collision with the metal goal post, he watched as Harry narrowly missed the circle and went straight through it, disappearing from sight. It took all of two seconds for Severus to realize the younger Wizard had quite literally vanished into thin air and with alarmed cries from everyone watching, he was up on his feet instantly. Auror's who were on their brooms came flying in to the suspect ring and Weasley, the Gryffindor Keeper, edged away cautiously from the goal posts.

The students and guests who were watching the game started to realize what had happened and the area went eerily quiet for the moment. All that could be heard was the creaking of wood from the stands and Severus knew he would need to respond sooner rather than later, however for now he was stunned into inaction.

"Where are you?" He breathed, feeling startlingly panicked suddenly.

 **. . .**

 **Yeah… It happened…**


	67. Chapter 67

**.**

 **. . .**

"Just how did someone manage to get through these wards to begin with? Did we learn _nothing_ from the war? And out of all the Auror's and Order members that were surrounding the pitch, no one saw _anything_?" Severus ranted, pacing back and forward in front of Minerva's desk.

"Getting into a fluster will get nothing solved, Severus. Hindsight would have taught us that perhaps the, _not so secret,_ tunnel running from the Shrieking shack to the Whomping Willow should have been destroyed by now considering – "

"Are you telling me that's how they got inside? Harry could be anywhere by now!"

"Severus, please." The Witch snapped, "And for Merlin's sake stop pacing. You'll wear a hole in that floor soon enough."

Pausing in his next step, Severus realised there was a line from his pacing, which was supported by the faint dust marks from where his robes had moved it along the floor. Harry was missing, he had disappeared into thin air and what frustrated him most was that no one seemed to have any idea what happened. Auror's had cordoned off the Quidditch pitch and students had been moved to their common rooms until more information was gathered, but this wasn't enough for the sour Wizard and he was set on getting blood if anything happened to his Slytherin.

Albus however, seemed to provide some insight, "It would be highly unlikely this individual would have been able to get Harry off the school grounds, not with Auror's monitoring the weak areas. If you say he disappeared through a portkey which had been established in one of the goal posts, then he would have found himself somewhere in the forest."

"How could a Wizard establish a portkey within the wards? Only Minerva has that authority." Severus barked, his fists balled tightly.

"Ah, unfortunately there are ways in which people can flout the rules, but the fact remains that Harry would not have been port-keyed through the wards. They would not have allowed it, no matter the strength of the Witch or Wizard."

Okay, so there was a high likelihood that his Slytherin was still closer than he thought. It didn't relieve him in any way however to think that he could be laying in a pool of blood or being tortured for something. Obviously, the individual who had done this – he wanted to believe it was Yaxley, but with Robards' adamant he had nothing to do with it, he tried to move past it – had something against Harry and was probably connected to the house fires.

Severus took a sharp intake of oxygen and walked over to the window, his brow furrowed as he began to spiral into a deep thought. Something about the fire at Grimauld place hadn't been sitting well with him, all the other fires had been Deatheater connections and Harry was the one to put an end to the war. If anything, he should have been the last person to target, so did it have something to do with the house itself? No one was supposed to know where it was, so if it _had_ been Harry, then the whole idea that a vigilante group was wrong.

"Knut for your thoughts, Severus?" Minerva asked, both seeming to have calmed down, and coming to stand beside him at the window overlooking the scenic grounds.

"Nothing makes sense." He admitted, realising that whatever was happening wasn't going to have a simple answer.

"We will find him, and I have no doubt he will be okay. For the mean time, we need you to remain strong and explain to the rest of your Slytherin's what is happening. I doubt Horace has been calming with his rambled explanation; and whilst I can see you care deeply for Harry, the other students need you."

She was correct of course, Severus felt as though the rug had been pulled from under his feet and was crossing a very fine line in the sand which boarded on blowing his cover with Harry. It was a clarity that hit him hard and made him feel even more strongly about going to find him personally, but for the time being he remained impassive and simply nodded to the Witch instead.

Horace was sitting on the couch with a few students and their Potion's books stretched out in front of them when he arrived in the common room. He couldn't fault his Slytherins for trying to keep their minds occupied, and huffed with a wry amusement, though there was nothing humorous about the situation. His colleague glanced up when he noticed him walking in and the rest of the students went quiet when they too realised their Head of House was there.

"Listen, all of you." Coming to stand in the middle of the common room, he summoned their attention, "There is no need to be fearful or worried about the events that have transpired. You must already be aware that today, during the Quidditch match, Harry Potter disappeared from the pitch. Auror's have been stationed within the castle and the school grounds at this current time, and whilst we do not know where Potter is, every effort is being made to find him. To ensure your safety also, no one is to leave the common room until this threat has been neutralised, is that clear?"

There was silence for a few seconds before a couple of hands were raised and he nodded to a sixth year Witch, "Sir, has this got something to do with the house fires on known Deatheaters?"

"We do not know." And it was the truth really, nothing was concrete about this situation.

"Is this an attack on Slytherin? Potter seems like an easy target this year."

"No, this certainly isn't an attack on Slytherin house and I suspect that the individual responsible for this would not be aware of the house affiliation." Severus explained, and when there looked to be no more questions, he noticed Draco looking quite pale in the corner.

His godson was the closest person to Harry in this room, so he made his intentions clear and found the blonde cutting him off before he could make it to the door, "Where is he? Is it true that a Deatheater has him? These have to be connected to the fires."

"Careful, Draco. You're sounding like, Miss. Granger."

"How can you be so calm about this? Harry is _gone_! Don't think I can't – " Draco's eyes darted around the room and Severus found his heart stopping, "I know _exactly_ what's going on between the two of you. The dumb expression he wears when he's thinking about you, or trying to be subtle in class – "

"This is not the time for accusa – "

"You're going to insult my intelligence when I can see clearly what's happening right in front of me? Believe me, sir, it's none of my business what the two of you do when he's in your rooms but right now my friend has disappeared, and I want to help."

Severus took a deep breath to calm himself from flying off into the rage that had been threatening to blow up the moment he saw Harry disappear in his care, and assessed the room with a calculating gaze. They had been careless, if Draco was able to see what had been going on, he was sure the Headmistress had her suspicions, not that they had been voiced. He would be denying everything, there was no sense in confirming what his godchild was insinuating, not when they were in the common room filled with other keenly observing Slytherins.

"It would be wise to keep your thoughts to yourself, lest anyone come across false information."

Draco's grey eyes blazed with anger at being brushed off and went to speak when Horace came to be a welcomed disruption, "Does Minerva wish us to stay here?"

Severus shook his head, "The portraits are in lockdown; if there are further developments I'll be sure to inform you." Nodding to his colleague the older Wizard wandered carefully away, waving to a few students in the process, which left him standing with Draco, "I have more important matters to tend with for now, if there is nothing else…"

Keeping his black eyes trained on Draco sternly, he was daring the blonde to speak but when nothing came he knew this round had been won. Turning on his heel, he made a swift exit and only when he found himself safely _outside_ the portrait did he let out a long breath. A missing lover and a cover nearly blown, this was fast becoming a nightmare all on its own, let alone the threat that another dark Wizard might be rising up.

 **. . .**

"Aurors have scoured the premises and found what appears to have once been a small camp where two Witches or Wizards had been staying. By all accounts this was very much planned and had been in the school for several days."

Severus eyed Kingsley carefully, feeling his hackles rising to know there had been a risk to Harry's life days before he'd been taken, and now it seemed like they had disappeared into thin air. Naturally, Minerva wasn't taking the news very well and sunk into her chair, eyes fixed on the paperwork in front of her with worry. Arthur Weasley and two other Order members were also in the room, though Bill, Charlie, and George Weasley were leaning against the back wall, right by the door and very much keeping out of the politics.

"Robards? Where exactly is he at present?" Arthur asked curiously, also in thought.

Appearing to glance between Severus and Minerva, Kingsley let out a low sigh, "Upon your inquisition into Corban Yaxley's appointment in the Auror Division… I had a trusted colleague run some quiet diagnostics into the department after nothing suspicious turned up. The results were never found and Yaxley has now disappeared also, I would not feel comfortable in speculating in whether these two incidents are connected."

 _But they are_ , Severus thought bitterly and pursed his lips as he looked to Minerva. She appeared to consider something for a moment and then stood, walking around the desk so she was now part of the circle that had formed in her office. Anxious to know what she was about to say, he held his breath and tightened his arms that were already crossed protectively across his chest.

"Then until we know for sure, Hogwarts is going to be forced to shut its doors to those who are not students or in this very room. Until Potter has been found, Yaxley and Robards cleared of their behaviour, and Auror's have swept the grounds for anything suspicious, these are the conditions that I am requesting. Naturally Kingsley, I would appreciate the consideration for this to not be printed in the Daily Prophet as I have the students and their families to think of at this time also."

"Of course, Minerva." The Minister nodded.

"In the mean time, the rest of us are going to do a sweep of the grounds also to aid the Aurors, quite frankly because I find myself lacking in trust at present."

Severus couldn't blame her, and he resisted letting a snort bubble through his nose at the insinuation. It wasn't like there was anyone from the Auror department in the room to begin with and he suspected there had been a reason for that also. After a further warning of being on guard and careful from the Headmistress, the occupants were dismissed and he maintained a cool demeanour until the last person left.

"It has all the trappings of that blasted Chamber of Secrets, I can feel it. Though, this time it's Potter and not Miss. Weasley. Dear Merlin, will there ever be a year without some form of drama?"

"I believe it was mentioned that once Harry and his friends leave at the end of the year, daily running's will go back to normal." Severus replied dryly, and received a solemn nod in agreement.

"Unfortunately, that may very well be the case." Sighing, then taking a composing breath, the older Witch straightened and her face hardened, "Let's go and find our Slytherin."

Her announcement came as no surprise, and Severus nodded sternly before twisting on the spot, as did she, and they evaporated out of the open window in a haze of white and black. With students in their common rooms and only a handful of staff, Auror's and the Order mulling around, for the likes of Arthur Weasley he was reminded eerily of the war and took their combined movement across the sky as an indication that the personal search was going to begin.

The most obvious place to begin was the Forbidden forest, so naturally both Severus and Minerva shot straight overhead and across the Black lake to mostly unchartered territory, save for the camp that had been found. No student should have ever been across here, not only was it strictly out of bounds but there were dangers like the forest, though untamed with the support of Hagrid's support. As soon as the two of them rematerialized, their wands were out and raised, breathing deeply to assess their surroundings. There was always going to be a limit on magic, but it didn't mean Severus couldn't try some old school techniques that might help him find his lover.

"Point me, Harry James Potter." He said quietly, holding his wand outstretched in no particular direction.

His wand vibrated gently, though weak as it was, in the direction off along the lakes shoreline, but it was definitely better than nothing and shared a look with Minerva. Nodding, they slowly walked in that direction, whilst maintaining composure and scouting for clues. The signal was never consistent in strength and fluctuated in faint pulses as they walked in the indicated direction. Voicing this to Minerva, she grew solemn and nodded.

"If he is trapped, he could be attempting to magically break free of his bonds."

Severus wanted to believe that, he really did, but the spy in him wasn't so confident, "Or his magic is peaking as a result of torture." He then glanced at the older Witch.

"We can only hope that is not the case."

Whilst this was his usual attitude, more realist than pessimist, he decided to drop the subject and they fell silent once more, walking side by side. Even as a Deatheater he hadn't been into this part of the forest, and a student would have been idiotic to venture this far, so it was very unfamiliar to him. He saw a few creatures that had never been seen in the Dark Forest and whilst curious, he kept his concentration as another pulse of magic shot through his wand.

"Do you see that, Severus?" Minerva asked, quietly breaking their silence.

"I do." Severus replied, changing their course slightly from where his wand had been pointing them.

Diverting up a small slope but still close to the shores edge, they came across the camp that had been found by Auror's. It was simple, and surprising to see how much had been left laying about, almost as if the individuals that had been staying there left in a hurry. Mainly a few blankets and a gas cooker were spotted amongst a cleared area, which must have been used in an attempt to limit the magical identity, a fact that confirmed this was a planned attack.

The two of them surveyed the area, Severus himself was trying to see if anything popped out that was obvious to only he or Minerva and wouldn't have been to the Aurors. Wanting to be thorough, he wondered if Harry had been here at all and tilted his head as an idea struck. Having used it only once before for tracking, he melted down to his panther form, putting nose to the ground and sniffing out anything that was familiar. There were many scents that he picked up, though he couldn't identify them as Witches or Wizards, but a track did appear in his mind that told a story; a story of the direction that one individual went, which was towards the shore.

Minerva was watching in interest, being a feline herself she knew exactly what her colleague was doing but remained where she was as the large cat sniffed its way down the sloped bank and towards the water. Unfortunately, her suspicions were correct when the path led right to the waters edge, where it appeared the scent had been lost. Her thoughts on a premeditated attack on her student were becoming clearer, but as for the reason why, it still had her befuddled.

Severus was disappointed but unsurprised when the trail went into the water and disappeared; it appeared the assailant knew exactly what he was doing in terms of laying low. Changing back, he stood upright and took a deep breath, they were now no closer to finding him than at the beginning and Severus didn't like the circle they were going around in.

"The trail ends here." He stated, though it really needn't have been clarified, "And there doesn't appear to be any sign of Harry."

"I suppose they wouldn't have come back here with him. Now we need to find the spot that he was port-keyed to."

Nodding, Severus looked to her gravely before taking the short trek back up to the apparent campsite. They didn't stay for much longer after this, but in an attempt to remain positive, the Slytherin Head refused to believe their efforts were for naught before they evaporated up through the trees and back to the castle as it was getting late in the afternoon. Whilst dinner was still an hour away, they had the arduous task of moving the students one house at a time to avoid any further disappearances, though Severus knew that was highly unlikely as this was a targeted attacked on solely Harry.

"Seems hard to believe that after a war, and still there is someone at large hellbent on destroying harmony." The Head of Hufflepluff commented as she rocked on her feet in the silence of the Dungeons.

"Harry Potter too. Such a shame, he was a good student and talented like his mother." Horace added, and Severus gritted his teeth at the insinuation that his Slytherin was dead when he arrived to assist the move.

He continued to stew about it during the shift, making sure he kept an eager eye out, whilst attempting to ignore the inquisitive gaze from his Godson and juggling his personal connection to the reason why this was happening. Safe to say, once they were inside the Great Hall, and the other houses were moved also, he breathed a soft sigh and went to the head table. No other students lost, but none found, and he would have been exhausted if it weren't for panic he felt rising the longer Harry remained lost within the wards of Hogwarts.

Minerva gave a very short and direct speech to the students whilst she had their attention before food was brought up from the kitchens and it wasn't until he could smell the wafting scent off the roast chicken in front of him that he realised how hungry he'd become. His eyes drifted to a Ravenclaw student who was walking between the tables, noting that Miss. Granger clearly didn't worry about the fact she going to sit with Slytherin's, and felt a pang of jealousy towards both the Witch and his Godson. When he got Harry back, and he was going to make sure that happened, he would be ensuring the teen knew he was loved and missed.

Nearly spitting out his wine and choking simultaneously, he came to the outrageous realization that he'd thought about love and life. This really wasn't the time to be making rash thoughts about a student, regardless of whether they were in a relationship or not. Then again… Did he love Harry? They spent a great deal of time together these days, they were intimate, and he couldn't deny his natural desire to care for his Slytherin. Love was a powerful word, a strong emotion and a connection to someone; and what also hit Severus, leaving him rather light headed, was the fact that now he couldn't see a future without the annoying brat. Whatever their careers held.

An owl squawking as it entered the Great Hall caught people's attention and Severus's more so when it dropped a letter in front of him before flying off. Curious but careful, he slid back in his chair and pulled out his wand, spy senses were tingling, and he performed a couple of charms that revealed nothing. Minerva was certainly paying attention, whilst not showing that she was reading the black envelope when he went to open it. He was surprised and almost relieved that it appeared to be a letter from Narcissa, and more so that it was an urgent letter delivered to him at such a late hour. Unfortunately, it did not come with pleasant news and at this point, he was really beginning to feel like he had reached his limit.

"It is from Narcissa Malfoy." He said quietly, leaning towards the older Witch, "There has been an attempt to breach her wards, though she is unsure of what they were after in particular, she speculates the intent was to blow up the mansion along with everything inside judging by the recent _Fiendfyre_ attacks."

Minerva couldn't help the gasp and immediately told him to seek out Draco to inform him of what happened, though she did had one question, "Why does she write this to you, Severus? Why not Draco?"

"Because she also goes on to write that she was saddened to hear about the disappearance of Harry. It seems that in the few hours the school has been in lock down he was able to get a message out to his mother, which is not at all surprising but extremely disappointing." Severus half sighed and went to stand, catching the blondes eye in the process.

"Be empathetic, Severus." Minerva said as her parting words, but it had the older Wizard rolling his eyes and grumbling more than anything.

Motioning with a hand, Draco was quick to stand and come up to the head table, standing off to the side and in the corner whilst the rest of the students suddenly got quieter at having seen the action. His Slytherin seemed worried and with a stern expression of his own, he couldn't blame the teen, not with the current climate.

"Sir?"

"This is from your mother. There has been an attack on your home – No, do not react – The wards are impenetrable, cast by myself, the Minister, and many other trusted individuals for this precise reason. Your mother is fine, she is but a little worried, especially since she has become privy to knowledge that Potter has disappeared." Severus kept his voice low and with a raised eyebrow emphasized his point, gaining a light blush from Draco.

"I'm worried, as you well know." He defended, but Severus wasn't in the mood for an argument.

"And if owls were intercepted? If people were waiting for correspondence? Draco, think about it and use that brain of yours. This is not a game, it never was, and now things are getting out of control once more, so I implore you to – " He stopped midsentence, his gaze finding the main doors to the Great Hall opening and green eyes seeking him out immediately, "Harry."

Draco's head snapped around to see for himself that his friend was there, and Minerva was up out of her seat within a flash once she too had seen him, striding down the hall and placating a few students as she went. Harry looked untouched, like he hadn't just been kidnapped by a possible maniac and tortured, rather just a little brown from having fallen into dirt. Strange, Severus thought, when his mind finally caught to the fact his lover was right in front of his eyes. The relief he felt was immediate, and he didn't particularly care if it showed, though he was aware that it might not have looked so out of place given the current climate.

"Potter, what a relief." Minerva sighed with a smile, and placed a hand on her students shoulder, "Come up and see Madame Pomfrey, she can have a look at you."

"Professor McGonagall, I'm fine really. Just a little shaken and really, _really_ hungry." The Slytherin said, and she empathised with him, turning back to the hall and ushering him along.

Hermione intercepted both of them as the hall went into a flurry of whispered gossip about what might have happened. Minerva watched as the Witch took him into a tight hug and proceeded to smother him with questions which she demanded to be answered. Minerva was in two minds, she could let this happen and then have Harry close himself off, or let him have his friends surrounding him in support. She decided on the latter, knowing full well the impacts of Albus's isolation attempts in previous years and patted the Slytherin on his shoulder.

"Miss. Granger, please do not bombard him with questions. I am sure he is exhausted from the ordeal and would appreciate a bit of peace and quiet whilst he eats; there will be time for questions once dinner is over."

"Of course, Headmistress." Hermione replied, looking chagrined but also apologetic.

To the older Witch's eye, the teen looked a little dazed and lost, not that she could blame him as he presumably had had a rough few hours. She still marvelled at how well put together he was and couldn't help wondering what the point of all this was if he was able to get back within such a short time frame. She noted the way Severus kept his eyes on them the whole time, there was clearly relief but something underlying she was unable to pinpoint at the current moment. There was a lot happening, and a lot of it going on in Slytherin; if the following year could be quieter she would be very happy indeed.

Severus was still standing watching his Slytherin when Draco cleared his throat and raised a smug eyebrow, obviously letting him know that it had been noted and the excuse that nothing was going on, clearly a lie. Though he didn't react to it, Severus muttered that he would keep an eye out on Narcissa and write back later that evening to know everything had been resolved pending his debrief with Harry. He was anxious to know what had happened, the teen looked too calm to have just been kidnapped.

Draco walked to the edge of Slytherin table and sat opposite Harry and Hermione with a worried expression, "Are you really okay? What happened?"

His friend glanced up and gave a soft half smile before taking some water, "Yeah, I'm fine. Although my broom isn't, bloody thing snapped in half the moment I appeared from the portkey. Annoying, I really liked that broom."

"You disappeared, went missing for half the day, and you're concerned about a piece of wood you have money to replace it with? You really need to organise your priorities, Harry. The war didn't mess you up that badly." Hermione sniffed, shaking her head.

"It seems there's more to all this anyway. I just found out someone tried to attack mother in our home; wouldn't it be coincidental if they were linked?" Draco commented, and Hermione blinked in horror.

"I don't really do coincidences." Harry replied half-heartedly, focussing on the food in front of him and eating like he hadn't eaten in a week.

"Nor do I." Hermione added, noting the distant expression her friend wore.

 **. . .**

If Severus thought he'd been anxious beforehand, he was now certainly wound up enough that he could have thrown away his caution and taken Harry into his arms for a bone crushing hug. However, for the interest of his dignity and employment, he refrained and stood diligently to the side as Minerva, Kingsley and Arthur Weasley arrived for the story on what happened. If he were honest, Harry looked bewildered and would look to him occasionally with disinterest. For all he knew, there could be a good reason for it, and therefore didn't dwell on the crushing weight to his heart whenever the teen looked straight through him.

"You had us very worried, Harry." Arthur started, and Harry seemed to nod politely and smile.

"It really just came out of nowhere."

 _Did it?_ Severus straightened immediately and watched his Slytherin more closely.

"Yes, Potter tell us what happened. Where did you get taken?" Kingsley asked eagerly, and everyone in the room, Severus included, prepared themselves for a detailed account.

"Well… I'm not sure really. I – Well I just remember hitting the ground after flying through the Quidditch goal, breaking my broom and then hitting a tree trunk. The rest is a little hazy."

"And you saw no one?" Minerva asked in disappointment, "Perhaps we should get you checked over for a concussion."

Harry shook his head then tilted it slightly, "A couple of Centaurs? They were quite angry that I happened to land in their territory but apparently one of them remembered me and was kind enough to direct me back to Hogwarts. If I hadn't of run into _them_ , I might still be in the Forbidden Forest."

"Well, I think it is very lucky that they stumbled across you, Potter. I dare say a night in the forest would have been rather chilly for you." Minerva replied.

"It would have been, yes Headmistress." The teen replied, but Severus had his eyes narrowed.

"Is there anything else you would like to say about what happened? Suspicions or someone you think might want to harm you?"

There was a dark laugh from the teen, and something flashed in his green eyes before he looked straight into Minerva's eyes and spoke with a deep tone, "I'm Harry Potter. Everyone wants something from me."

Whilst surprised by the answer, when Minerva looked to Kingsley and Arthur, they seemed appeased with the comment but didn't need to turn to her Defence colleague to know he had questions of his own, "Yes, well you should be aware that we are making tracks to find what happened to you, Potter. Severus, if you could please escort, Mr. Potter to the Hospital Wing and have Poppy look him over. Kingsley, or Arthur, if you could co-ordinate with the Ministry and let the Auror's know that Potter has been found… I am hesitant to loosen security, so if the department could spare some Auror's that would be wonderful."

"Of course, Minerva." Kingsley nodded.

"If I may assist," Arthur stepped forward, puffing himself up to look more important, "The boys and I can stay around too, if it would help?"

Severus wasn't surprised in the least, but it looked as though the Headmistress was going to deny him when she pursed her lips in thought and glanced down, "That would be wise, Arthur. If not for the school, then for Harry."

How could he not speak up when Minerva was going to turn down a perfectly reasonable offer. Judging by her glare, it was directly in opposition to what she had intended on letting happen, but knowing the teen's history with the Weasley clan as a whole, minus the youngest two children, it was something that he assumed Harry would appreciate. As it turned out, there wasn't a single peep from the brunette who was now staring at his own feet and shuffling about, almost fidgeting.

"Then we can be of use." The father Weasley smiled, despite the circumstances and Severus nodded in return.

"Right, well, now we have that out of the way, it is getting late and Potter could do with the rest I'm sure." Minerva clasped her hands together to signal the meeting was over and Severus took that as his cue to leave, "Kingsley, Arthur, if you could stay a moment."

Bristling, Severus stepped forward and put his hand on Harry's shoulder to spin him around quickly to make their hasty exit. He knew Minerva was bitter about his intervention, but that didn't matter now because he believed it would have been for a good purpose. Deciding to move on from the discussion, he couldn't help but notice the was his Slytherin tensed under his palm but refused to remove it until they were out in the corridor. The school was eerily quiet, but he wasted no time in walking towards the Infirmary with an equally silent student beside him.

He didn't say anything, mainly because Harry didn't seem willing to speak in the handful of glances he made towards the younger Wizard. It made for a long and silent trip to the Infirmary where Poppy was just finishing tidying her bays since there were no students to care for in the lock down.

"Severus, Potter. What can I do for you?"

"Minerva believes Potter may have a mild memory lapse in his adventures today and would like him seen to. I am to take him back to the Slytherin common room this evening."

Huffing and fluffing him out of the way, Poppy took his Slytherin into the Infirmary itself and sat him down on a bed where she pulled out her wand. Severus noted that Harry watched on with slight horror, his eyes widening a fraction, as the Medi-Witch went to speak a spell. Pulling his hands up to cross his chest, the older Wizard found it odd, but watched silently.

"Potter, simple mind and healing charms. You have experienced worse, I assure you."

"Of course." Harry snapped back at him, and with a gentle glare aimed his direction, Severus bit the inside of his cheek to stop a retort.

"No need for that tone, Mr. Potter," Poppy reprimanded lightly, casting another charm around the teen's head and muttering to herself, "There appears to be no damage… Although…" She paused and took a step back and Severus noted that it was with a critical eye, as if she were considering something, "No, no I think everything is fine. You'll live, Potter."

"Comforting." Harry muttered.

"Potter, cease that attitude. Regardless of your escapades this afternoon, that is no way to speak with people who are attempting to help you." Severus ground out, tempted to yank the teen up by his arm and pull him from the room.

Of course, past experiences with Poppy and Harry meant that if he'd actually done that he would soon find himself in Minerva's bad books once more. That wasn't something he wanted right now, he just wanted to be with his Slytherin alone and knock some sense into him again. Honestly, what was the teen thinking, being as rude as he was? Tired or not, Severus meant what he said and when they were out of ear shot he would be reminding Harry.

"Apologies." However, there was no apologetic tone to his words whatsoever and the darkness in the younger Wizards eyes had Severus looking twice.

"Hurry up then." And with that, Severus turned on his heel and stalked from the room.

Waiting in the corridor, Harry soon fell in step with him and the silence in the deserted castle sounded deafening once more. Was his Slytherin truly this out of character that he couldn't relax even when they were walking alone? So it would seem, though not even having a glance spared in his direction was starting to give Severus an unfriendly emotion that bubbled away in his chest and he began brooding.

"Can I help you, sir?" The teen was looking at him with darkened green eyes, and he hadn't realised in his deep thought he'd taken to staring at his lover.

"What really happened, Harry?"

"I told you, I fell – "

" _The truth!_ " Severus stepped right up to the teen and pushed him into the wall with his arms outstretched to keep distance.

Something flashed in the younger Wizards eyes for a moment and Severus found himself trying to search deep within them to find anything that might give a clue as to the off behaviour. Unfortunately, the mental shields were up and he was unable to gently probe his way in. Instead, he took a few deep breaths and sagged his shoulders gently; the day had been very testing for his composure and now his will as he finally had his lover alone in the corridor. Knowing it wasn't appropriate, he refrained from hugging Harry and instead, for one of the rare occasions, let his words speak what he was feeling.

"I missed you, Harry. I thought…" Not wanting to sink too far into the emotions in an insecure location, he paused for a moment, "Why did you lie about the port key? You kicked the Gryffindor from danger and once again risked your own life. Madame Hooch would have stopped the game."

Something like recognition sparked from his Slytherin, who then took a deep breath, "You know me, sir. I can't leave things alone."

Snorting, Severus wasn't completely satisfied but resigned himself that this was something they could park until the morning with a fresh mind, "I could not have said it better. Let's get you safely to the common room, there will no doubt be more questioning and investigations tomorrow, so prepare yourself. Perhaps you might like to see me in the morning?"

"Of course, sir." Harry replied, his face softening gently in the dimly lit corridor as he stepped forward and turned in the direction of the Dungeons.

 **. . .**

 _ **Okay, so I'll be the first to admit that perhaps this wasn't my best chapter… Let me know what you think and if there's some errors that I've made.**_

 _ **And also, super massive apologies for how long it took to update.**_


	68. Chapter 68

**.**

 **My goodness, how long has it been? Finally found some motivation to get back into the story, so here we go. Enjoy.**

 **. . .**

Draco grumbled as he came to, feeling groggy and out of sorts. He stared at the canopy of his bed and immediately remembered everything that had happened the previous day. His mother could have been attacked, _killed_ yesterday, and only thanks to a few wards she was safe. Was she though? His mother, whilst a strict woman, was all the family he had left at present that wasn't delusional or incarcerated. It wasn't particularly something he wanted to deal with this morning, it was too early to worry, too soon to be thinking about sad things when he had the whole day of conversations and information that would come to light.

Then there was Harry, why was he taken? Who took him? And was it connected to all the fires? None of it made sense, though he knew there had to be a logical explanation to it all, someone wouldn't just go around attacking things because they could right? And if they did, if they got his mother, there would be bloodshed. Sighing with a heavy heart, he rolled onto his side and saw Blaise still peacefully sleeping. Glancing down his bed at the one across from him, he saw that the bed was made and there was no sign of Harry. Was he surprised? Not particularly, but it irked him that the teen would sneak out after all that's happened and seek the comfort of his Godfather.

Whilst he tried to, he couldn't force angered emotions when he thought about what the two of them might be doing. All he ever wanted was for his Godfather to be happy; he had no right to shame the man for finding that, but did it have to be with his meathead friend? Regardless, Harry wasn't in his bed and didn't know how he'd snuck out in the first place with the common room being on lock down over night with a clear threat still at large.

"You're thinking very loudly." Draco twisted his head and found Blaise sitting up watching him and propped himself up further on his bed with another deep sigh.

"Did you hear him leave last night?" The blonde asked, now awake he was going to get dressed.

"No. I'm surprised to be honest, thought he'd be well tired from yesterday. Did he tell you what happened?" Blaise replied, stretching.

"He didn't really say much, just that he was hungry and tired. I have a fair idea of where he's gone, but he shouldn't have left the common room, not with it all still going on."

"Maybe he's studying?"

Draco snorted as he stood up, "Unlikely."

Showered and dressing quickly, they met again in the common room where other students who were tired and hungry waited to hear the news. Draco was surprised when he saw Professor Slughorn pacing back and forward, he seemed agitated but without knowing why, there wasn't a lot he could do. Sparing a glance at Blaise they both shrugged before both got a nasty surprise when Harry popped up between them.

"Hi." He said with a chipper tone, and the blonde nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Bloody hell, where have you _been_ , Potter? Wait, don't answer that." Draco said with an exaggerated eye roll.

Harry didn't react however and instead put his attention at the front of the room. Looking at his friend for a second longer, Draco too turned his eyes to their Potion's Professor who was now being joined by Professor Snape, who looked grim to the trained eye. Something must have happened, if Harry had just been with him, then he would have looked happier, or at least ambivalent.

"Please do not dawdle, some of us have better things to be doing than escorting you all to breakfast." Severus barked at the students.

 _Oh yeah,_ Draco thought, _something has definitely happened_. Remaining silent for now, he kept close to Harry as they meandered up through the castle where he found Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw already sitting there and owls flying frantically over their heads. Since they weren't supposed to mingle between houses in the current state of the school, the three Slytherin's all sat together, still quiet. It was Blaise's owl that dropped the Daily Prophet in front of them first, and the teen opened it quickly, unravelling the paper so they could all see the front cover.

"Wow." Blaise commented, reading the title and angling it to his housemates.

"This is ridiculous." Draco commented, squinting gently so he could read the article.

"I'll save you the trouble," Came Hermione's voice, clearly unaffected by the loose rules of staying with their houses, "There's not much detail but the Ministry seems to be taking a pretty big hit again."

"Why, what's happened?" Harry asked casually.

"Head Auror Robards. His body was found on the outskirts of London, tortured and killed." Hermione supplied, passing her best friend the copy she had in her hands.

"Oh, strange. I didn't think he'd be a target. Besides, he's an Auror, no?"

Hermione and Draco shared a look, Blaise now in his own world as he read the article quietly, "Harry just how hard did you hit your head yesterday? Weren't you just saying the other day that he's in on this too?"

"Madame Pomfrey gave me the all clear thank you, Granger." Harry replied, rolling his eyes, "I'm just saying that as Head Auror he should have been able to defend himself."

Hermione watched her friend shrug and looked at him oddly and spoke sceptically, "Right."

Severus sat looking across his students also feeling like the weight of things were bearing down upon him. Whilst Harry may have been back with castle walls, news that Head of the Auror Department had been murdered did not bode well. Certainly Minerva wasn't her annoyingly optimistic self and leaned sideways with her head angled to him.

"I would like to know to what purpose this deranged individual is acting. Fires, kidnapping and murder. I don't particularly fancy keeping the students caged up for any longer than we have to."

"Agreed. I can wager calculated guesses, though nothing more. Harry has been instructed to see me this morning; with your permission, I would like to withdraw him from Slytherin common room so that we may have a discussion."

"Asking permission, Severus? Well, this _must_ be serious then. You may, of course; and find out what Potter is hiding. I can see he hasn't told us the truth about what followed his initial disappearance. Whether it be pride causing him to hold back, or plans to take this on himself, I won't allow it. This is not a war, Severus, he needs to let others help him and ideally stay out of it all together."

"Understood." Severus nodded, his eyes finding the back of Harry's head and thinking about what he could be trying to bury, "Has anything come up about the fire to Grimmauld place?"

There was a sigh from beside him, and twisting his head in her direction, she saw a graver expression than she'd worn before, "Yes, though I was going to let things rest here before delving into that."

"Minerva?"

This time she looked directly at him and shook her head gently, "Black never finalised the paperwork before his death, the house was still in his name and his final Will didn't state a successor. Currently, Gringott's have ownership of the lot that is left and a contact has indicated they intend to write off the land. It's worthless, and with it's position is compromised we could never use it for what its purpose had been otherwise I might have been tempted to salvage it."

Severus felt himself growing nauseous and his heart went out to Harry.

"Kingsley was going to try and see if the Ministry could intervene on Potter's behalf since he is the only shred of family ties the boy has left but you and I both know who the superior holding in all this is."

"So, when Harry graduates, he will have nowhere to go."

Severus had meant that to be a thought, silent from the outside world. Unfortunately he'd said it aloud and Minerva's reply made it all the more real. Harry wouldn't be hearing from the bank or visiting lawyers about the Grimmauld estate, he had no title to it. Robards murder then made an unsavoury reminder in the front of his mind and eyes narrowed dangerously as he looked to his Slytherins. Who had told Robards that it belonged to Harry? Records would have shown that it was the Black family home, but none of that had been published in the Daily Prophet and only those in the know knew that it had been a safehouse. It couldn't have been a coincidental guess, surely.

Sitting up straight, he stated that he was going to remove Harry from the hall so they could speak. Minerva took his sudden movement as a surprise but nodded her approval as she surveyed the room. Severus noted that Harry didn't really seem all that disrupted when he came over to speak with him but supposed with Draco's narrowed eyes watching them, he was probably trying to keep a low profile. The corridor felt more chilled than usual, but he didn't let that be seen and with a hand on the small of his Slytherin's back, guided them towards the Dungeons.

"Sir?" Harry's worried voice almost echoed in the corridor.

Looking to his student, Severus let a small smirk pull at his mouth, "I would've thought time alone would have you happier than this."

The teen blinked at him a moment, then it seemed something jogged in his memory and a gentle smile was returned, "Of course, sir."

Whilst they travelled in silence, Severus now having removed his hand from his student due to wandering portrait eyes, he had this eerie feeling that they were being followed. Making sure his wand was securely in the palm of his hand, he made sure to keep an extra eye out. Of course he knew part of that was because things were happening at Hogwarts which apparently no one could control and longed for this never ending journey to his rooms to hurry.

It did end, eventually, and he stood behind Harry as they neared the door. When the teen hesitated however, Severus rolled his eyes and preceded him, opening the door widely and walking right in. Finally, they were finally alone together and taking a deep breath, he rounded on his slightly bewildered Slytherin and wrapped his arms firmly around slender shoulders. Burying his nose into the ruffled tufts of dark hair, he refused to call it nuzzling, took in the scent of his lover and felt some of the tension leave his shoulders.

When he pulled back, there was a moment when confused green eyes met him, but he simply let a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth and looked down fondly, "That port key could have taken you anywhere; stubborn Slytherin."

"I had it worked out." Harry replied lamely.

With a gentle snort, Severus pulled one hand round and tipped the younger Wizards head back to assess him for a moment, before deciding he couldn't wait any longer for a move to be made. The kiss was swift but leaving his lips ghosting over Harry's gently chapped ones, he savoured things. This time the distance was closed for him and the teen rolled forward on his toes to return the sentiment; if not sloppier than usual.

"I'm sure you did. Now, tell me what you aren't telling the others. This is not a war, Harry," Severus started, echoing what Minerva had said, "Whatever it is you're holding back, we can work through it."

There was a light frown on Harry's face first, then the teen stepped back, "I don't understand… I'm back and safe, there isn't anything more to say."

Severus let out a low frustrated growl, "I _know_ you, Harry. You didn't just simply fall through a portkey, speak casually to some Centaurs and happily wander back to the castle. What in Merlin's name _happened_?"

There was a moment when Harry seemed to consider something, but the reaction was so fleeting that Severus almost missed it if he'd blinked. He also looked a little taken back, as if he wasn't expecting such an outburst and stepped out of the embrace, backing into the side of the couch. Severus knew he shouldn't have been so abrupt and accusatory with his Slytherin but things needed to be answered; it was then that he pulled the teen gently around the couch and indicated for him to sit down.

"Tell me what really happened, Harry." Severus almost pleaded and let his facial features soften as he did so, nothing he would have done to just _anyone_.

As the teen appeared to consider how he was going to answer, since eye contact was broken, he took liberty to summon them both a hot drink. There was uncertainty he felt, should he be worried about what had happened? Was he pushing too far? Did he _really_ want to know? Well that was silly, of course he wanted to know, he _had_ to know so future events could be eliminated.

"I arrived at a camp." Harry started whilst Severus had stood to retrieve the mugs of coffee and hot chocolate, and glanced over his shoulder at the tone, "There wasn't anyone there but it looked like two people had been there recently."

Not risking voicing his own thoughts on this, Severus came back silently and offered the teen his mug, noting he appeared grateful before inspecting the contents.

"My broom… It snapped when I landed on the ground and collided with a tree. I… can't really remember how long I was laying there for but…" At the pause, Harry was looking into the empty fireplace, perhaps it was for effect or maybe he genuinely couldn't remember, whatever it was he still didn't push the teen as he took a deep breath, "I was on the other side of the lake, in a forest looking back at the castle. I felt so alone, there wasn't – I mean you weren't – "

"Hush." Severus could see the teen getting upset, and though there weren't tears, he placed his coffee down and took his Slytherin into a side hug, "You did not see anyone? No Wizards or Witches? Centaurs or other creatures?"

"No." Harry replied solemnly, looking into the mug again and taking an experimental sip.

"I _did_ see Centaurs, but they didn't like the fact I was there. I just had to run." There was another pause as the teen took another sip, this time larger and then hesitated, looking back into the mug once more, "I'm Harry Potter, people don't expect me to be weak, I must be strong."

Severus's pulse skipped a beat and his arm when rigid for a mere second before he pulled away and realised Harry was regressing back into himself once more, "That is not true and you know it. How many times must we go over this? Harry Potter isn't weak, he is simply a normal Wizard – but not _ordinary_. You are a very special Wizard," He was getting soppy, but this was _his_ teen, " _My_ special Wizard. And I will not let anything happen to you again, I hope you realise this is why I am asking so persistently on the subject. There is a madman out there, as we both know, and I fear that he is going to stop at nothing. Draco for instance, I assume he told you about the Manor?"

"The Manor?"

"Yes, it was attacked yesterday. And I wouldn't mind betting it is all linked, not something that sits well with me as you would understand."

"Oh." Harry replied, the reaction indescribable, "What's going to happen now? The papers said that the head of our Auror Department was found dead. It certainly seems like a war to me."

Whilst mildly taken back by the insecure words of his student, Severus remained relatively impassive and briefly tightened his hold around slender shoulders, "Well, for a start, you will be doing nothing. The Headmistress and I will be doing all we can to ensure the school is left intact and students safe. You especially. And do not think I will be letting you out of my sight often, I think we both know I would keep you locked up in here if I knew it would keep you out of trouble."

In fact, Severus knew that Harry hadn't really seen this side of him. He was throwing a lot out in the open here and whilst he hadn't expected it to feel soft and fluffy, his anxious reaction to saying these words when the teen was acting strangely didn't sit at all well. For now however, he had to let it go and instead took his coffee so they could sit in silence, taking in their energies and reflecting on what was going on. Upon this reflective time, Severus realised he was going to be required to let the younger Wizard know of the lack of rights he had to Grimmauld Place. It wasn't going to be a pleasant topic, that much was for sure, but just how the teen was going to react had him feeling even more sick in his stomach.

"There… Is something else we must discuss. Do you think you're up to it?"

Harry twisted so he was peering up at him and gently nodded, "I guess so. Otherwise what else are we going to do?"

The question had Severus blinking for a second before he sat up a little straighter and turned himself to they were both looking more squarely at each other, "The Headmistress spoke to Kingsley over Grimmauld place."

He paused for a moment so Harry could get his head in the right space, but at the blank look he received back, it was obvious the prior day's events had clearly taken their toll. Deciding to forgo the conversation for now, he removed the hand around Harry's shoulders and patted the teens knee instead.

"We can discuss this later, you look as though a rest would do you good."

Looking down at the hand on his knee, Harry sighed, "I am a little tired."

"Why don't you go through and get into bed, I will wake you at lunch."

At this they both stood and Harry initiated an awkwardly placed hug, resting his head against Severus's shoulder. He could feel the teen yawn into his peck and a fond smile crept into the corners of his mouth. Deciding that he would potter around in his laboratory until lunch, Severus broke away and started to direct Harry towards the bedroom, however when the teen took a beeline for the door, he was most confused.

"Harry?"

"Sir?" The teen stopped and half glanced over his shoulder.

"You do not wish to stay here?" At this, something in the back of Severus's mind made an unsavoury appearance and his throat constricted suddenly.

"Oh…" Scratching the back of his neck and blushing, the teen looked only at the floor, "I think this time I'd like to just stay in the dorm. I'm not feeling very well, just came on when I stood."

For effect the teen placed a hand on his lower stomach, but the older Wizard wasn't going to trap his student, he was never meant to feel like a prisoner even though his own gut was telling him something was amiss. He politely nodded at the statement, uttering a soft, 'yes, of course', and walking towards the door.

Opening it rather sullenly, the brunette walked into the corridor and turned to face him, "I'll see you at lunch, sir."

The smile was distant, but it was there and Severus nodded in response before watching his Slytherin walk away. Not shutting the door just yet, he peered into the corridor and noted the way in which his student quickened his pace and went straight towards the common room. When he finally shut himself away in his rooms, his back against the door, a breath was let out. Exhaustion flooded his body and he didn't have the energy to rip the door open and chase after the teen when he remembered the school was in lock down. Why did he have to feel like this?

Draco was feeling much the same as he huddled in the corner of the common room with Blaise… and Hermione. It was wrong that she had snuck into their group at breakfast but there was nothing that could be done now and he hoped to buggery that Slughorn didn't notice the stray Ravenclaw, even in Slytherin robes.

"Can you remember what Professor Flitwick said about colour chain commands? I can't seem to find it in our textbook."

Hermione's voice seemed to slip straight through his ears and the Witch sighed with sagging shoulders. Looking at the same spot Draco seemed so intent on staring at, she placed a hand on his knee to pull him into the present, "I know this is frustrating but until we know more there isn't anything we can do. Your mother has written to tell you she's fine, and Harry is back with us… Sort of."

"It's made absolutely no difference. We are still living in a war." Draco's voice unusually tense.

"That's not true." Hermione empathised, trying to reassure him.

"Yes. It is." At this Draco stood and pushed his books aside, "I'm not just going to sit by this time and be a coward. Perhaps being with you and Harry is making me more impulsive and – _Gryffindor_ , "At this he pulled a disgusted expression, "Everything is unravelling and there's nothing I can do. Mother, I need to get out of here and be with her."

Hermione stood and blocked his way so he couldn't go running off, "We just need to be a little more patient. Or…" Growing a smirk that only spelt trouble, she leaned in close, "We could spy on what the staff are doing."

Not understanding, she kissed his cheek and hooted in his ear gently. The portrait might be locked but that didn't mean it would be like that forever and Harry was with the Slytherin Head of House, unable to help them anyway. They could sneak out easily enough and see what was happening in the school.

"This is why Gryffindor lost so many bloody points over the years isn't it? All your fault." The blonde simmered, his voice growing cheeky.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Feigning her innocence, she then sat back down and patted the cooling stone that had been vacated, "Come on, lunch is still a few hours away."

. . .

Lunch came and went, nothing notable occurred except for Harry's lack of presence and Hermione was most indignant at this fact. She wouldn't stop talking about it over lunch and whilst Draco really did have pure feelings for his girlfriend, when she snuck back into the Slytherin common room for the afternoon he was getting riled up.

"Look, will you just stop? He isn't here and there isn't a lot we can do." He stood up at this point and the others watched him go.

Hermione made a move to follow but Pansy pulled her back down by the tail of her robe, "Just leave him be. He likes his space."

"I'm only worried about Harry." She half pouted.

"And so is Draco. He may not show emotions like everyone else, but having known him for the time I have, he really is worried." The Slytherin Witch explained, and Hermione felt a calming comradery between them, even though she still didn't particularly like the girl.

She didn't respond to the explanation either, instead choosing to read up on her classwork with nothing else to do for the moment. At some point during the afternoon, Professor Snape had entered the common room and she shrunk behind her textbook hoping the man wouldn't find her. Blaise smirked at her actions but she simply scowled back and tried to blend in.

"He'll notice." He whispered, not looking up from his own book this time.

"Well if I move, he'll notice more, won't he?"

"True. Then again you could sneak into the dorms. I'm sure Pansy could help you there." But even as Hermione glanced up, she noted the Witch was on the other side of the room playing around with the year below and the fire.

"Miss. Granger?"

Both of them froze at the deep tone and trying not to cringe, Hermione glanced up to find the man standing a few feet away, arms folded, and scowl firmly intact.

"Mind explaining what you are doing in the _Slytherin_ common room?" The man asked, and she swallowed nervously.

"Er – No?" She half shrugged, with a nervous smile.

It seemed however, that Professor Snape was not in the mood for games and simply glared at her for a moment before barking, "Up, I will take you back to Ravenclaw tower."

"But, sir – "

" _Now!_ " He commanded, now gaining the attention of the other students.

Gathering her things she slung her bag over a shoulder, grimacing at the odd weight, and cradled her books carefully. Nodding to Blaise, he gave her a reassuring smile before she turned to follow the strict man out. Taking one last look down the narrow corridor to where the dormitories were; she wished she could say goodbye to her boyfriend and talk more about a plan for answers. With a heavy sigh, and ignoring the other eyes from students who were staring, the Dungeon corridor had an immediate chill to it and she hugged her books harder.

"I am not surprised with your appearance in my common room, and I'm sure you do not need to be informed of how reckless an act it is."

"No, sir."

The man hummed and she looked up, taking a closer look at his demeanour. He wasn't a man easily read, that was for sure but she could see some cracks starting to appear on his face. Worry lines and a gentle crease between his brows as he obviously lost himself in deep thought. She wondered if he would be forth coming with information, even if she were to share her concerns about her friends wellbeing and current absence. If she was being taken from the Slytherin common room, he should probably know that Harry was missing.

"Sir?" She asked tentatively, not wanting to crown herself as talkative without permission.

"Yes?" The man replied without turning back to look at her.

"I'm…" She paused and took a brave breath, now was not the time to be timid, "I'm worried about Harry."

Well, that seemed to grab the man's attention and he slowed his steps, twisting his head to look at her. After being prompted to continue, she fiddled with the books in her arms and worried her bottom lip, "He doesn't seem himself, he said he's fine… But did Madame Pomfrey find anything wrong with him?"

There was a pause, a very long one before the man turned back to the corridor ahead of them and put both hands in the pockets of his robes, "No, he was cleared."

"Oh…" Hermione replied with disappointment, and felt her bag move, "You know he wasn't in the common room just now? I have no idea where he is." She continued, juggling her books and adjusting her back so she could look inside it.

"He is in my office." Severus lied, feeling sick at the thought that Harry was off galivanting somewhere only the teen knew.

Hermione didn't respond, instead she was hiding her surprise as a white furry object was wriggling inside her bag. She glanced up to see if her lack of response caused a reaction but when it hadn't, she smiled and moved her bag back up her shoulder, keeping this development quiet. She then took to taking various secret glances towards the man, noting the way he kept turning his head as if there were something behind them. Growing suspicious herself, she too looked behind them starting to get an eerie chill down her spine.

Nothing more was said however until they reached the Ravenclaw common room and the older Wizard escorted her inside, waiting for the door to close behind them. When she went to move into the room further, she found his arm blocking her way and she could only assume that this meant house points and a talking to.

"Has Potter said anything further to you about what happened?"

The question took her off guard and she stuttered gently, "No, sir. He refuses to talk about it. It's almost like he doesn't really remember what happened and is going by fragments he thinks happened."

There was a silent moment as the man appeared to consider what she said, and then nodded to her, "Keep your eyes open."

Knowing better than to question Professor Snape further she stayed quiet and let the man leave. However, tumbling around in her bag caused her to lose grip and just as the door was about to shut, one of her books slid across and jammed it from closing completely. At this he white ferret was looking up at her and urging something through the door. Well, it had to be something important, her boyfriend wouldn't just risk being caught for nothing, any Slytherin wouldn't really.

Kicking her bag aside and hiding it behind some tapestry that lined the entrance way, she pressed herself against the door and pushed the book safely aside also, before slipping out into the corridor. The staircase hid their escape, not that Professor Snape would have hung around anyway, as he seemed far too distracted for actual discipline currently.

Once the door was closed, Draco changed back, "Something isn't right. Harry isn't with him, he was lying."

"What?" Hermione was genuinely shocked to hear this statement.

"I bet he's about to go and inform the Headmistress, and if not, he'll be trying to take this on himself. We have to look too."

"Okay," Hermione agreed, "Where should we start? Room of Requirement maybe?"

"A likely chance." Draco agreed, and then disappeared into his animagus form.

Hermione followed suit, knowing they would be seen and get in serious trouble if they were caught out at this time. Draco sprinted off down the stairs and Hermione gave him a small lead before she flapped her wings and set off herself. She made it to the bottom before the blonde did and perching on an open window frame she caught sight of Professor Snape hurriedly making his way down the corridor and disappearing around a corner.

It was a bit of a slow process making it to the Room of Requirement and when they finally arrived, the little ferret was breathing heavily. Seeing the portraits dozing, Hermione quickly changed into her human form and pushed the doors open, Draco's small form ducking inside before she did and shutting it quickly behind them. The room was empty, that was their initial findings and both students were disappointed that the most obvious place would be void of one Harry Potter.

"Apart from bathrooms that I've watched him falling apart, I don't know where else to look." Draco commented, coming out of his animagus.

"There's always the chance he went out to Hagrid's hut. Or maybe he's gone to the forest trying to find clues?"

Draco sighed and ran a finger over one of this blonde eyebrows, "He would do something like that, wouldn't he?"

"Well there's only one way to find out." The Witch nodded, and when to open the door, "I think carrying you might be easier." She suggested, and whilst completely undignified by the suggestion her partner couldn't disagree.

If one of the teachers had of been wandering about, then they would have seen that something was completely amiss seeing an owl carrying a white ferret through the castle. It was a good thing that they didn't meet anyone on their journey and were able to cruise through the front doors easily. Whilst Hermione thought it odd, she didn't dwell on this and flapped quickly down to Hagrid's hut. It wasn't like they could just knock on his door however, so setting them both down behind the small shack, they checked the coast was clear.

"And what if he's not here?" Draco asked with uncertainty, "Do you think we should be going into the forest?"

"Probably not…" Hermione mirrored his unease, even though she was confident they wouldn't bump into anyone, "Come on, you go and sneak through that gap, it should be just big enough, and tell me if he's in there."

Pulling a face, Draco did as instructed and wiggled through a gap in the stone leaving Hermione to crouch out of sight. Taking a moment to look at her surroundings, the dirty area didn't phase her and taking a moment to survey the area, she leaned against the stone shack. Rustling in the bushes caught her attention briefly, but not wanting to risk exposure, remained where she was. Draco seemed to be taking a long time, and she wondered if he was stuck at all. Putting her mouth right by the hole she whispered into it and got out her wand to create some light.

"No ones home." Draco said casually, startling her and she stood with a hand on her heart.

After taking a second to calm herself, and half glaring at her boyfriend, she spoke, " _No one_?"

"It's completely empty. No sign of that oaf anywhere." Draco shrugged, and Hermione narrowed her eyes at his terminology.

The rustling within the trees had Hermione twisting her head once more and a chill went through her spine. Everything was telling her to go and investigate, but not having Harry or Ron by her side was halting her typical fighting response. She knew Draco was a skilled Wizard, but in the height of battle, the blonde had avoided the conflict.

"Come on, let's get back to the castle." Hermione said, trying to sound reassuring and walked around the hut to find the path back up to the castle.

However, she was stopped by Draco's alarmed hissing, "Hermione."

Turning back, she saw where he was pointing and together they watched as their friend briskly walked up a hill and through foliage towards the castle. Not thinking twice, the Witch had her wand drawn in a tight grip and she ran up the hill after him. Grunting, Draco grumbled at her actions but didn't say a word as he followed her. It wasn't until they were closer to their friend that the teen stopped and pointed his wand in fright.

"No ones following us. Are you all right?" Hermione placated, slowing her running and coming to hug him tightly.

"Fine." Harry replied, Draco noting that he seemed to be looking at them oddly, "What are you doing out here? You'll be in serious trouble if you're caught."

Hermione laughed, "I've already been chucked out of Slytherin common today, I doubt they'll expel me for being out of the Ravenclaw tower right now."

"Regardless, let's get back up there. It'll be dinner soon." Harry smiled and pulled his friend by the arm gently to emphasize his point.

Draco fell into step with them, noting how Harry seemed more like himself and relaxed as they walked together, "So what were you doing in the forest? And why didn't you tell me you were going in there?"

Green eyes softened at the tone, "You don't need to be getting into trouble as well. Besides, it's clear someone wants me so I thought I could go and find them myself. It would certainly save the rest of you the trouble of being couped up for the next few days."

"You're always so stubborn, Harry." Hermione lamented, "But you didn't answer the question, do you even know who you're going up against?" The conversation she'd had with Professor Snape came to mind.

"Well… no." There was a small laugh and the teen looked sheepish, "But surely with the school going into lockdown like this, the people would still be on the grounds. At least, that's the impression I get from all the teachers."

As they made it to the courtyard, the three of them slowed down and it was Harry that spoke, "Anyway, let's just all keep a look out for anything suspicious and I'll see you at dinner."

Hermione nodded and transformed into her animagus, flying off up to the towers. Draco looked to his friend and found Harry already looking at him before saying they should get going too. The blonde nodded, thinking that perhaps he had been paying too much close attention to the Slytherin and felt bad about doubting him. He didn't know the full extent of Harry's past, and with what Hermione had mentioned about him gallivanting off on adventures alone, he got the impression the brunette just wanted to figure this out on his own. Something Draco, as a Slytherin, wasn't completely comfortable with.

. . .

"Severus, I am getting extremely tired of this toing and froing business. Can we please settle on the idea that Harry is simply doing what he always does and is disregarding the school rules?" Minerva was slouching over her desk in exhaustion, willing and wishing everything to disappear and sort itself out.

Severus, who was also tired and frustrated didn't even both putting up a fight with the older Witch and brought his goblet of wine closer to him, taking a large mouthful. He didn't even bother tasting it, he just wanted to feel the light buzz that helped him relax. Was it wise that he take such petulant actions? No, it wasn't. But what more could go wrong for him to be worrying about impaired abilities and a foggy mind? His gut didn't agree with his choices, and nor did Minerva. Fact was, Harry had been absent for majority of the day and no one but he seemed to be bothered by it. Minerva was aware that the school was in lock down, yes?

"I'd wish you slowed down." She chastised, observing the speed at which he drank.

Severus didn't even have the time to open his mouth to begin formulating a response as a disruption within the Slytherin table caught his attention and he saw Harry jumping up out of his seat before disappearing in the crowd that started to stand and move about. The hall went deathly silent as he made his way down the hall to where the students were moving away and a sinking feeling entered into his stomach. Students parted like the sea as he and the Headmistress approached. When they arrived there, writhing on the floor and clutching his throat was Draco Malfoy, visually in severe pain.

"He was eating and then just slumped back off the bench." Harry was busy explaining, though the words didn't register with Severus initially and had to double take when he saw the worry in his Slytherin's green eyes.

"Help him up, he needs Madame Pomfrey."

"Of course, sir." Harry nodded, and the two of them were able to wrangle the dead weight of the blonde into something of an upright position, "Draco stay with us, we'll get you help."

Hermione had been trying to get through the crowds and join her friends but was unable to get through the other students as they all disappeared into the corridor and the doors shut quickly behind them. Luna was quick to guide her back to Ravenclaws table and numbly listened as the blonde Witch comforted her in the only way Luna Lovegood could muster.

"I don't understand, sir. How could this happen?" Harry breathed out through his panting, dead weight of Draco seeming to take its toll.

"Any number of ways, Potter. What was he eating when this happened?"

"The same as Zabini and I, just the roast – No, he took a drink. Now that I think about it, he didn't even pour it, it was already there…"

Severus was cautious the trailing off his student made at the end of his sentence and the twisting, knotting feeling was back in his stomach. First the manor and now an attack within the castle walls. Harry disappearing off the Quidditch pitch was one thing, but right within the safe haven that Hogwarts offered was unheard of. There had to be something or someone in the kitchens, but then again who was going to guarantee where everyone sat, they didn't have assigned seating.

Madame Pomfery had obviously been alerted and Severus immediately went into her office, looking for an appropriate aid to stop the sudden frothing that had developed on their journey. Poppy was casting a few charms when he came back and seemed perplexed, watching as she cast another when he made it to the bedside.

"Interesting. Well, strange and concerning really. Have you – ah, yes that will work fine." The Medi-Witch commented, seeing the potion in his hands.

"Poison, yes?" Severus asked, opening Draco's mouth.

As the teen started convulsing, his chest rising raggedly off the bed in sharp bursts, Poppy nodded, "Life threatening, and very rare. A few more minutes and he might have been dead." Severus's blood went cold and he shot Harry a side glance, seeing him looking horrified.

Moving to stand beside his conscious Slytherin, he could do nothing but wait for a proper diagnosis and for the Headmistress to turn up. Surely she would have something to say about this, he certainly did.

"Severus, perhaps it would be wise to take Potter back to be with the rest of the students. Whilst I appreciate the help getting him to me so quickly, this is not something he needs to see."

" _I've seen worse_." Severus heard the teen mutter, but he couldn't disagree with her on that.

"Not just yet." As if on cue, Minerva walked into the Infirmary, "I want to know what happened. Potter, explain." At this she had her wand pointed and even Severus flinched at the sight.

"Just having dinner, Professor. Draco took a drink and then just fell backwards."

"And you feel fine? You have no ailments?"

"No, I'm fine." Harry folded his arms, almost defensively and took a subtle step closer towards Severus who noted it immediately.

Minerva went to look at the unconscious Slytherin in thought as Poppy turned to Harry, "I'm glad you are feeling better now."

Severus assumed it was to do with that morning's performance, but he hadn't known the teen had come through to the Hospital Wing and felt guilty that he couldn't have helped. Judging by the expression his Slytherin wore, they were both feeling mutual in what had happened, and green eyes softened towards him. Not wanting to change the subject, Severus didn't push the issue and thought that perhaps on the way back to the Dungeons they could have another chat.

"Right, well Severus you and I are meeting with the Order immediately. Once you've taken Potter back to the Slytherin common room, please come to my office. Poppy, I will have a Weasley come and stand watch in the Infirmary until we understand what has happened. I dare say that with Malfoy, after what happened with Mrs. Malfoy, there is cause to be concerned he is a target."

"I will ensure this ward is tightly locked until you tell me otherwise." The Medi-Witch confirmed, before Minerva wasted no time in leaving the room.

Severus could tell she was upset, he hadn't seen her so hellbent since she'd chased him from the castle during the war. Very much glad he wasn't in her position, he put a hand on Harry's shoulder and pulled him towards the door. It seemed the teen was hesitant to go, but Severus wasn't going to bend the rules any further than he had and urged his Slytherin to come along.

"Just give me a second." Harry shrugged himself out of the loose hand and went to the bedside, "I'll be right outside."

Severus pursed his lips and huffed, then turned sharply and stalked away. When did he take the word of a teenage boy? _Probably when you started buggering him_ , the snarky side of his sub conscience reminded him, making the unsavoury appearance at the worst possible timing. He stood in the corridor whilst Poppy fluffed about in her office, before she stopped beside him with a questioning gaze, possibly wondering why he was standing there like an idiot.

"May I inquire as to why Potter came and saw you this morning?" Severus kept his voice low, not wanting to be caught snooping.

"Not related to his disappearance, but it seems had a bad reaction to something he ate for breakfast. I believe it was dairy related." She tiled her head and Severus frowned in thought.

"Dairy?"

The Medi-Witch hummed, "Yes. Though an intolerance is rather odd, they don't usually come on so suddenly. He's never come to see me before about it."

"No, they don't." Severus agreed, narrowing his eyes and was about to add something when he heard footsteps.

"Right, ready." Harry said, sounding rather chipper, and gave a smirk towards the Medi-Witch.

"Look after yourself, Potter. Merlin knows, I do not need to see you again." Madame Pomfrey said sternly, and he nodded causally.

"Promise." He confirmed, "Coming?" This time he was addressing Severus and he nodded, both turning to walk down the corridor.

Severus was confused, conflicted by his rational mind and the one that just wanted to forget about it all and hide with Harry. At least for now, the eerie feeling that he was being followed had disappeared and was beginning to feel at ease with the teen walking beside him. It felt like things usually were, and he felt his position relaxing. When they made it to the main entrance way, the stairs towards the Dungeons in sight, he noted that Harry was looking out the empty window frames with a longing expression.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Severus asked, slowing so he didn't move too far away from his Slytherin.

"I'm just looking forward to everything going back to the way they were. You and me, creating trouble together. Not having this thing hanging over our heads."

Severus didn't react, but it felt nice to hear Harry saying those words, even recklessly in a busy portrait filled corridor. An owl passed over them in the silence and darted outside, disappearing into the towers, just as a gust of wind whipped through the corridor causing them both to shudder.

Stepping forward, he forced Harry to lean back against the stone framing, his robes and height covering their interactions, "If Minerva didn't require me currently, then I would happily have you stay with me."

"Don't go. Just let me be with you."

It was sweet music to his ears, but Severus wasn't going to be a fool and disregard the Headmistress's wishes. Regardless of his feelings, the school was under threat, something he belatedly realised Harry didn't seem to care about. It should have been a sobering reminder. Nevertheless, Severus shook his head.

"No, you need to get back to the common room." And he was resolute, he would do anything to keep Harry safe.

There was a terse moment, and even in the dim lighting, he could see Harry's eyes turning dark, "I don't think so."

 **. . .**

 _ **Please, please, please give me some feedback. I'd like to know if you feel this chapter is in line with the rest of the story (since it's been so long). If I need to make changes, then I can before the next chapter.**_


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